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I cannot tell you how much satisfaction my new job brings me. I feel like I have actual responsibilities with actual challenges being "managed" by an actual manager. It's pretty fun to look forward to work every day for a change. And to only work 8 hours a day. And to ride the Vespa every day since I won't be required on any construction sites. I just couldn't be happier.

It's also freed up my weekends completely for revelry. I always love it when drunken meandering leads you to random fun. Last weekend Daniel and I found ourselves in the back of a horse-drawn carriage, surrounded by xmas lights, drinking red wine. We went all around the neighborhood zig zagging through buildings, even stopping off at a bar to get topped off with some wine to-go. I must admit we were merely along for the ride while our crazy neighbors made it all happen, but still it was good to be out and about every so slightly breaking the law to turn a good time into a great time. I wanted Daniel to take off on the horse bareback through the park after we watched him get unsaddled, but that probably wasn't as good of an idea as I thought it was right at that moment.

I also have signed on with a new personal trainer at the gym. He's this guy we kind of know from the neighborhood who is giving us a really good deal so we're gonna train 2 or 3 times a week depending on how we like it. Gotta get in shape for St. Thomas.

Did you know we are going to St. Thomas in June -- which is going to be amazing. Then it's off to San Diego in August to watch Owen get married. EEEEEEEE!!1! Then in October we're going to Vegas because we have floor seats to Kylie Minogue's first every North American tour. Couldn't be more excited about that. My dad even got us two free hotel rooms in Vegas with his timeshare for me and my friends. Suck on that.

Sorry about the lack of updates. It'll probably stay this way for a while, I'm completely unmotivated to blog. Maybe I should start twittling or whatever.

I haven't blogged in quite some time. And I rarely if ever talk about my job on my blog, but I can't really explain my recent absence without it, so I'm breaking all the rules. I've been assigned to a project that has sucked the joy from my life. If there is something I enjoy doing -- being with Daniel, watching TV, riding my Vespa -- I no longer have time for it. I've been waking up around 5:30am every day, going to a construction site, working 10-12 hours, coming home, and programming or making changes until midnight... only to wake up the next morning and do it again. And this is Monday through Saturday with no end in sight. I've really been on the verge of just not showing up ever again, but so far have persevered.

But today, a ray of sunshine broke through the clouds. I got summoned for jury duty!

I've been summoned several times in the past, but it was always in Collin County. And I haven't lived in Collin County for quite some time. So all I had to do was go to their website, check the box that said I didn't live there, and submit, and I was exempt. But I think voting may have set their records straight so today I got it for Dallas County. So its the first time that I actually have to go. Normally, I'd be dodging it like everyone else, but with my job sucking as bad as it is right now, I'm seriously excited. And with only an up-side to being selected, I will be doing whatever it takes to get on that jury. I will say whatever they want to hear. They're going to have to DRAG me from that courtroom if they don't choose me.

Really when you think about it, it is kind of cool to be on a jury. Like watching an episode of SVU and deciding the outcome. Most people just avoid it because its a total pain in the ass. But if you've got nowhere better to go, might as well, sit back, relax, and enjoy the drama. It's not until April 6th, so I've just got to last until then. But I'll be sure to let you all know how my selection process goes.

Last week the Snoring Center called me and asked me if I would come into the office for an interview. They didn't really have a chance to explain before I blurted out, "I'll do it!" So the next day I showed up ready to espouse the virtues of sleep medicine to whatever news agency found the story worthy. Turns out its some show that might air on MSNBC and is hosted by Hugh Downs! How fun. I still need to email the guy to find out when/if it will air and he also said he would send me a DVD. So cool. I probably look/sound like a douche, but at least I sound like a total douche ... ON TV!

In other news, I bought a new pair of everyday jeans. If you don't know this about me, I wear the same pair of jeans every day of my life. They're not so much a garment as they are my purse. And I can't be transferring everything I carry around on a daily basis every day just because I'm switching pants. I'm really keen on Levis since they're more solid colored, and less faded/shredded than more fashionable, more expensive, and less durable brands. But I will tell you this. Levis last for exactly 365 wears. It's happened twice in a row now that my every day jeans wear out almost exactly one year from the day I bought them. This newest pair I don't actually have yet because they're being tailored at the moment. I've never had a pair of jeans tailored before so I'm really hopeful that they'll be my best pair yet. Here's to '09!

I also bought myself a motorcycle jacket. It's black and mesh and armored all over. It felt kind of weird at first but now I really like it. It will save me from breaking elbows and shoulders, but more importantly from requiring skin grafts should I need to go into a controlled slide to avoid an accident. I can't wait to try it out.

I also bought myself a new cell phone. I was on a random spending spree this week. I had a little extra money in the ol' bank account and despite a matching amount of extra debt in the ol' credit account, I considered it a bonus to be spent frivolously. But it was all stuff that I needed. My phone was like 4 years old and it was time for me to join the millenium. So I got a Shadow slider phone that runs Windows mobile. It's so cool. I am so far behind on technology so I'm not even going to brag about features it has that you had years ago, but trust me, it's cool.

So pretty good week for me. Hope you sluts had a good one. Catch you on the flip side.

Holy hell the Vespa is fixed. It only took 6 months, but they were finally able to find the problem. It actually took me losing my temper to get the job done. But I'm not sure I'm taking that as a life lesson. I was exceedingly patient throughout the entire process, and while it didn't necessarily shoot me to the top of their to-do list, it definitely ended up with them liking me. So now I feel like if I needed something I could just call them up because I know them now. They ended up finding a leak in the engine so they took the whole thing apart. And while they were in there they found the oil shaft was not properly tightened down and was just floating around, occasionally floating in the way of the gear shifter which explained another leak and the difficulty changing gears.

Now that it's all fixed, I'm a much better driver. Not only was the bike keeping me from doing things correctly, but it kept me from thinking I could do things correctly. It's amazing what a little confidence will do for you. Now that it works I can shift smoothly and seamlessly and accelerate like a normal person. Some of it wasn't my fault and that feels really good. I rode to work all 5 days last week. The weather has just been made for motoring. I think I might take a nice long ride today, too.

In other news we did The Walk with Hanson. One mile barefoot across the SMU campus. It was to raise awareness of the plight of people in developing nations who truly cannot afford shoes. And let me tell you this -- walking barefoot sucks. I mostly hung back and just participated in the walk but Lindsey was determined not to let this opportunity slip through her fingers. So she went about meeting each of the brothers. Zac is her favorite and she's been wanting to meet him her entire life so when the chance to sidle of next him arrived, she took it. And what she meant to say was, "Oh gosh, I've wanted to meet you since I was eleven." What came out of her mouth was, "Seven oh gosh." To which he replied, "Seven oh gosh?" and Lindsey, realizing she'd just gone over a precipice just said, "Yup." and Zac jogged ahead a little bit.

So not exactly what she'd envisioned but it didn't matter because she met all 3 of them and then we went to their concert at the House of Blues and they rocked. So mission accomplished. Another reason we walked barefoot to see how bad it is is to encourage people to do something about it. I've talked about them before but TOMS Shoes gives one pair of shoes to a kid in a poor nation for every pair that you buy. And they're pretty stylish. And I finally bought a pair -- the green madras ones. Very cool. They're not high quality shoes, obviously, but they're cool and comfortable, and make you feel smug. So check em out.

I'll probably curse the day I bought the PedEgg soon enough. Each night when I'm finished using it, I marvel at how soft my feet are. And then the next morning I think to myself, "I could just run it over them one more time to be sure." And wouldn't you know it? They get even softer. I can see somewhere in the near future of both soles of my feet being one massive abbrasion. But it's so worth it. Daniel won't let me use it on him because he claims his hard earned calloused feet are the reason he is able to wear uncomfortable shoes. But I just know I could take a good quarter of an inch off.

In other news, I went to visit my motorcycle accident havin' coworker at his house. He's home from the hospital. All the scary stuff about fluid in lungs and broken ribs is past him. His color has returned and he's in generally good spirits. He has a titanium rod in one leg and then he had two broken ankles, one of which was operated on and still has no feeling. But he just has two boots on and has to use a wheelchair to get around. So all in all, not too bad. I try to cheer him up with stories of own infirmary and give him hints on how to keep from getting bored. But he refuses to take pain medication of any kind, so my top 3 ideas were just shot to hell. I wish there was more I could do to help but it'll just take time.

Speaking of motorcycles, I took the Vespa in AGAIN. They're going to look at it AGAIN. This time they think they know what's wrong. They called Vespa and described the symptoms and they were quite sure this is the only bike in the world that has ever exhibited these characteristics. Yeeeaaahhh, custom baby. They said if I dropped it off before I went to Australia that they would have it fixed by the time I got home. I don't believe them, but it's worth a shot. So I took it to them on Saturday morning. Man, was it a beautiful morning to ride. I was sorry to drop it off.

And lastly, I'm going to Australia. OMG. It's coming to fast. Since I'm not very good at planning a trip in advance, I encourage you all to leave me a comment with something you think I should do while I'm there. So far all I've thought of is getting a picture of me in front of the Sydney Operahouse. So that's already covered. Also, any advice for how to survive a 14 hour flight would also be appreciated. Thaaaaaanks.

It's been a while since I've updated. My apologies. I just returned from Las Vegas celebrating my brother Stephen's 30th birthday. It was a pretty big deal. The entire trip was kept a secret from him up until I took him and his wife to the airport. And then on top of that, it was another secret that me and my other brother, Michael, were on our way to the airport separately to meet and surprise him with our presence. It was pretty fun sneaking up behind him in the casino while he played video poker. After so many months of preparation, it was such a relief for the big reveal.

So we spent two days gambling, drinking, laying out by the pool, having some very fine high dollar meals, and seeing the Beatles LOVE show. Highly recommend. Also highly recommend Planet Hollywood. It's recently been redone and it is so nice. Nicer than the Bellagio, in my humble opinion. Crazy times.

His birthday was a little bigger deal than mine. I tried to keep the invite casual (I wanted to type "cas" as in short for "casual" there but I'm not sure how to spell it). I didn't even have a place for people to RSVP because I didn't want to get excited that anyone was coming. Daniel was kind of annoyed with me as we got ready to go out to the bar because he was hurrying me along and I was saying what's the point, no one's coming. He was like you always get this way on your birthday. So we got there, and DJ iMernex had reserved us a table. And then we sat. And sat. And sat. And no one came. Daniel was frantically texting people trying to get them to come to no avail. Finally before I called it quits I texted Keiff cause he had said he would try to make it after moving all day and he was on his way over. So hurray! Saved the day. Then we blew that hot dog stand and invited Lindsey over like we should have all along. Lesson learned. Next year, no party ... he said again.

My Harley riding coworker got in a really bad motorcycle accident this weekend. He has two broken ankles, a broken femur, broken ribs, and road rash. I think I need to go get some safety gear before I ride anymore. I'm paranoid now. Not that I wasn't before, but you get the point.

So good times, not much to report from the real world. Gearing up for Australia, dreading the 14 hour flight. But definitely excited. I'll keep you posted.

I had a couple of firsts today. I've been riding the Vespa to work every day. I'm currently averaging 85 miles per gallon and I went an entire week without driving my car once. I'm over the learning curve hump and am actually starting to relax a little bit on my hog and enjoy the open air. I'm still cautious, though, because I check the weather every morning before I ride to make sure it isn't going to rain. Today's forecast said a 30% chance of rain, so off I went putting down the street. By lunch time the sky was starting to darken, so I ran out the door, hopped on my scooter and sped off as fast as I could toward home. My plan was to get home and drive my car right back.

I made it as far as Midway before the sky all around me turned black. Gale force winds blew leaves high in the air in swirling patterns and threw me from my balance a few times. I was already going slow, but I kept having to slam on the brakes and put my feet down. Not just to catch my balance but to then brace myself against the blast. It was so scary. And yet for some reason I was laughing and enjoying myself. When it finally started to rain, I pulled into the first parking lot I came to and ran inside. It was a delightful office furniture store with a very friendly staff. They advised me to park under the alcove of the front door so my scooter wouldn't blow over. One tree fell on a guy's car when I was there. It was an insane storm that only lasted about 30 minutes. But we all were like away from the windows and fearing the worst. When it cleared a bit I ran the gauntlet back home and all was well.

But it was the first time I've ridden my Vespa in a tornado. And hopefully the last.

My next first was when I got home from work. I decided to go by myself to a hip-hop dance class. My gym offers a different class every night and they're all free. So I've decided to attend them all. I have kick boxing on Thursday. Hip-hop dance was pretty fun. It was basically an instructor trying to teach me and 3 fat women how to do a dance routine. Only we were all terrible so it easily filled the entire hour. I wasn't too too bad, even though the kick-ball-change took me a while to get down. I'm definitely not a hip-hop dancer by trade. It doesn't lend itself well to my clear-a-one-arm-radius-in-front-of-the-mirror dance style. Even so, I still warned Daniel that when I got home, he was getting served.

She said next week we should bring a friend because we're going to be battling. Who's in?

My custom seats finally arrived. They are brown Louis Vuitton print. It just made my hog like 100X cooler and probably severely upped the resale (and the chances of getting it stolen). I've gotten great comments from people on the street as well as a couple of enthusiastic women holding up their matching purses to me at red lights. I just couldn't be happier, so I shined her up for you and took a picture. Suck on this.

I successfully rode the Vespa to work this week. It was a little unnerving at first, but once I got going, it was pretty comfortable. It did highlight the fact that I need to buy some gloves. 50 degrees doesn't sound cold until you're moving through it at 45mph. My hands hurt by the time I got to work. But I did it. On the way home it was so windy that I had a hard time balancing, so I found an alternate route home that took me entirely through residential streets. It took nearly 45 minutes, but it was way preferrable to braving the high winds on a major thoroughfare. I only did it one day because there has been questionable weather and high winds predicted every day this week, but I think it could become my main transportation throughout the summer months.

Daniel has been in Atlanta all week. Sunday was his birthday and he had to fly out for some training for his new job. Unfortunately, by the time his flight landed he was sick. He's had to miss out on most of the activities and just lie in bed. Being in a different city for work is bad enough. Not being able to drink must make it near unbearable. He comes home tomorrow though, which I'm pretty excited about. TV isn't any fun to watch when no one is there to hear your snide remarks.

Speaking of TV, I made another as-seen-on-TV purchase! Stephen's daughter's birthday is coming up in July and he said she would really like the Roll 'n Grow. The commercial shows a green foam pad that you roll out, water, and then an insane amount of flowers bloom from it. I hate to disappoint her this early in life by her finding out that not everything works like they show in the commercials, but I also hate to disappoint myself by not buying it for her. So I had to get it. She'll be excited to open it I'm sure. And as with every stupid purchase I make -- who knows? -- maybe it does work. We got on the topic because 20/20 did a big scientific study of Kinoki Pads. The bastards must have been reading my blog and stealing ideas. They couldn't get the company to produce any lab results to back up their claims. But I think the most telling demonstration was when they put distilled water on the pads and they turned brown. No labs could find any traces of toxins or heavy metals or whatever else they claim. Too bad, I was really hoping this would be a cure all for the human race. I guess the hunt is still on.

So I need another suggestion for TV purchases. The AeroGarden that Thommi suggested it a wonderful idea. It's a little expensive for an impulse buy, but then again, my birthday is just around the corner and I do love getting myself a little something special.

I need to go clean the apartment. As I guessed would happen, my intentions to keep the apartment pristine while Daniel was away failed miserably and now I have to make up for it within the next few hours. Late.

Miles per gallon is out. Miles per dollar is in. It's really pretty irrelevant how far you can go on a tank of gas, because all anybody ever does is use that number to try and figure out how much it's going to cost them to get somewhere. Instead we should all be talking in MPD.

In my perfect world, when the metal from the nozzle at the gas pump contacts the metal surrounding your tank, it acts as a datalink to upload to your car the price of the gas. Then you hit a button on your dash and it can show you in real time what your current MPD is. Well in lieu of that, I've done the next best thing -- an Excel spreadsheet. Yay! And since I'm not super interested in my car, I'm just going to keep track of the Vespa. I'm dangerously near riding it to work every day.

My coworker rode his massive $20k Harley Davidson motorcycle over here on Tuesday and we went to a parking lot where he taught me how to ride a motorcycle. From the conversations at work we'd had, he could tell I was pretty clueless about motorcycles, manual transmissions, clutches, engines, throttles ... the list goes on. So we went to a parking lot near here. He stood in the middle and I rode circles around him. And each time he would give me a different assignment. Give it no gas, but let the clutch out slowly. Give it no gas and let the clutch out fast. Give it a little gas, a little clutch. You get the point. He was trying to help me figure out the role of each. And I think it really, really helped.

My problem was that I couldn't get going fast enough. People got impatient as I went from first gear, to neutral accidentally, back to first, hit the brakes, stalled out, went to second, and then 10 minutes later was going 30mph. But I think that's fixed. I just took the ol' girl out to get some gas and purposely picked a gas station that is a few 45mph road blocks away from here. And I did superb. A guy at the pump complimented my scooter and we talked about gas mileage. And that is what spawned this entire blog.

Now, I'll grant you that the Vespa came with a complimentary tank of gas upon purchase, so my numbers are going to be a little skewed as to the performance of the motor (although accurate in real life). But I have gone 67 miles so far. And I've spent $2.12. That gives us a grand total of 31.6 MPD and $0.03 DPM. Oh my g*d, I love being green. Calculate your own MPD and post it.

I officially got in trouble for parking my Vespa indoors. I would have thought the exhaust fumes and gas vapors would be the reason, but it turns out they consider it a fire hazard. Who woulda knew? I got a less than friendly call from the parking people. But really it's only halfway my fault. They wouldn't give me permission to park in the garage over the weekend and then on Monday told me to park in a motorcycle spot ... and there are none. But we finally got it all worked out now and I can park wherever I want, just not inside.

I'm getting a little better at riding. I started out just practicing in a parking lot near my apartment and then graduated to the 30mph roads around the neighborhood. I've gotten brave a couple of times and gone out on major streets during low traffic times. My real problem is accelerating from a stop. I'm not very fluid with the gears so it takes me a little while to get up to 40mph and by then cars are honking and going around. But luckily I don't care. I think if I can ride it a lot this weekend and a little each day next week I might be ready to ride it to work every day. I definitely want to, I'm just not confident enough yet.

One of my favorite things about riding it is that I get respect from big Harley hog motorcycle riders. They all wave to me when I pass them on the street. I don't know why I find that as hilarious as I do but it's nice to get my propers. I have some friends from work coming over tomorrow to test her out and that'll be good for me because it's kind of boring to just practice riding, but when you're taking turns it's pretty fun. I'll keep you all posted on my progress.

Omg, I don't believe it. I bought a Vespa! I went to the dealership today to look at them, but I also told myself that if they had exactly what I wanted, I was going to just buy it. And they had exactly what I wanted. After comparing the red and the black, I decided to go with the red model. Mostly because I ordered some custom Louis Vuitton seats for it that they have to have made, so they're not on it yet. But it looked pretty smart against the red. I also looked at their financing plans and they all sucked ass, so I decided to just shell out the dough and pay cash. So it's totally mine, tax, title, and license. I need to get a parking sticker for the garage here. It's currently parked in our indoor hallways outside our door. And I need to get insurance for it. And a chain. But as you can see in the picture, I do at least have a sweet ass helmet.

The guy who delivered it also spent about 30 minutes teaching me how to ride it. We rode over to a parking lot and he taught me how to turn it on and use the clutch because its standard and I've never ridden a scooter or driven a manual car. So he was really nice and patient. And I was pretty good at it right away. Stalled out once and that was it. I haven't been on a street or out of first gear yet because its freezing balls tonight and it was getting dark when he delivered it, but tomorrow should be fun learning. They also said I could come by and get comfortable on one of their old beat up models that they use to teach people so I wouldn't accidentally trash mine in the process. Oh g*d, I'm so excited.

Last bit of news, I wanted to mention that I finally made it over to the Addison Improv last night to see Charlie Murphy. That guy is fucking hilarious. And he looks exactly like Eddie. And he moves and has mannerisms just like Dave Chappelle. So funny. See him if you get the chance.

Okay, I gotta go look at my scooter again. Peace.

Another Febrehab for the annals. Although, it's basically still going on. I had one glass of wine with dinner the other night, but other than that I haven't had anything to drink. And I still haven't smoked any. I think I'm going to do something this Friday to get back into the swing of things. Perhaps Hooters?

I don't want to get too drunk, though because Saturday afternoon, I'm going to look at and possibly buy a Vespa. It is time for me to start riding a scooter that gets 100mpg to work and back. I can't see any flaws with this plan. If they have the exact one I want, I'm going to snag it. But if there are some hangups like needing a license or a parking pass or things like that, then I might just figure out which one I want and then go back the next weekend and get it.

Are you watching American Idol this season? This is the first time that I've watched every episode and I'm totally hooked. But ... if they don't get rid of Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul, I won't be watching it next season. There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON for those two to be there. They both say the exact same thing about every singer every round. Randy Jackson says, "Aight, dawg, so hey, check it out. I thought that was good. It started out a little rough, a few pitch problems here and there, but you pulled it out at the end. It was good. Yeah." Then Paula chimes in and says, "Yes, yes, yes, I loved it, I love you, I want ... who ... let's give a hand ... all the ... do a ... job and ... I loved it." Then Simon tells the truth, or an honest assessment of the performance with a few constructive criticisms and the entire audience boos. I hate that so much.

They could definitely pare it down to just Simon and vastly improve on the format of the show. But until then, I guess I'll just shut up and keep watching. At least as long as Danny Noriega and David Archuleta are still in.