Product placement is mentioned in 5 posts, which ranks #82 overall for things. It is most often associated with these...

People:

Places:

Things:

Tonight I went to Bed, Bath & Beyond to buy a few things for my trip to Australia. The 14 hour flight is really starting to intimidate me. So I bought a Tempur-pedic neck pillow. I was going to buy a face mask, but I decided mine was probably good enough. And I bought a travel size of moisturizer because my hands always get so dry on a plane. Daniel was making fun of me that everything I was buying screamed old lady, so I kept saying, "Man I hope my mom likes all these gifts for her," as we walked around.

But you know me; I can't be in a store like that and not end up just wandering around looking for something to buy. And then I happened upon the as-seen-on-TV PedEgg. I've wanted to give one of these babies a test drive for a while. When we got home, I quickly assembled it and ran to the bathroom to try it out.

A little background story: Ever since my last knee surgery when I relearned how to walk, I've disproportionately distributed my weight onto my right foot. And it doesn't land exactly straight, so I developed this really thick callous on the inside of my right big toe. All the pumus stones and files of the world couldn't decrease it. Well, folks, I am ecstatic to announce that after a mere minute with the PedEgg, that rough, calloused skin is now soft and smooth. Same with my dry, cracked heels. They are completely healed! It's amazing! It completely works just as it is seen on TV, down to the parmesan cheese left inside to empty into the trash can -- vomit enducing. And you can just grate against your skin as hard as you want, and it only removes the thinnest layer of skin without any pain.

It's been a long time since I've purchased a product that worked this well. I think everyone should run out right now and buy a PedEgg. As an added bonus, when you're not using it on your feet, you can grate cheese with it. There. I helped you out!

Last night I tried my Kinoki Foot Pads for the first time. After a night of significant drinking, I decided their first test would be to draw my hangover out of my body while I slept so I would awake feeling refreshed. Daniel tried a pair too. An hour before bed we washed our feet in the bathtub and even ran a pumice stone on our soles to try and open up a path for toxins.

You open the pad, apply it to this big adhesive sheet and then stick the whole thing on the bottoms of your feet. We decided to put socks on over the pads so they wouldn't come off and that ended up being a good decision because they kind of leak. I immediately felt something. I'll grant you that I was drunk, but there was a tingling sensation. So I was gaining confidence that maybe they didn't do nothing. In the morning, my socks were a little bit brown from the Kinoki juice that leaked out. I wouldn't call it a confirmation, but I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would. I should have had a regular sized hangover, but it was less. So much so that I went to the grocery store and cooked us a really big breakfast of pancetta and fontina cheese omlette croissant sandwiches. You don't make up recipes that unless you've been revitalized in mind and body.

I have to say, though, that the biggest testimony to their effectiveness is that Daniel got up at 10:30 in the morning. A mere 8 hours after we had gone to bed. This is, like, at least 4 hours earlier than usual. I think they might work. The test will be to see if they get lighter and lighter as I use them. You can only use them every other night, so it will take me a while to get through the 5 remaining pairs of pads. But I'm hopeful.

Probably the most disturbing thing about these pads is their smell. They are brown and liquidy and leaking and make your feet tingle. But then you take them off in the morning and there is the overwhelming smell of barbeque sauce.  The fact that they look like barbeque sauce only stands to reinforce this olfactory conclusion. I threw my pads away but I am curious to compare the ingredient list against that of some A-1 and see how much they have in common. In the meantime, though, like I sometimes do, I decided to lend my advertising genius to Kinoki for free and put together this brand new marketing graphic for them.

Stand by for my final verdict, but I'm seriously undecided at the moment. Peace.

I feel the need to share with you all a couple of products that I can't live without. I really wish I was better about letting you know of all of my purchases, but it always slips my mind. So hopefully, this won't be the last installment of free advertising here on SideshoViD.com.

The first one I think everyone should own is Plink. Plink your sink! These are little yellow balls that could easily be mistaken for lemon sours. When I grind up the fatty remains of eight chicken breasts and leave the remnants in the blades of my garbage disposal for a week, I'm just asking for an unmistakable stench. I used to rely on handfuls of ice cubes and lemon halves for salvation, but now I have something even better. One of these little Plinks not only completely removes the odor, but replaces it with the most refreshing lemon scent. I only wish they made them in orange flavor to match my orange Fantastik, orange Febreze Air Deodorizer, and orange Pledge. It's citrus, though, so it works. Buy some.

Next, we have Bear Naked. I was first introduced to the Bear Naked product line by watching their story on the Food Network. It was truly inspiring. I went to Whole Foods (the only place I know of where you can buy the stuff) and tried it. Incredible. The cereal is unbeatable as a breakfast, or any meal of the day for that matter, but it's also good just dry out of the bag for a quick snack. I recently tried their all natural oatmeal and I can no longer eat that Quaker shit. Bear Naked is just so much better. It's not mushy. It's grainy and nutty and so fucking good. I must impel you all to try it.

That's all the product placement I have for today. The only other thing I have to advertise is our July 3rd Kaboomtown Party here in the ol' Addison! Circle. Daniel and I are hosting a little get together, which will probably be much like every other night of our lives, except with fireworks! We have two drinks planned. Grizzy Goose is first on the menu -- a mixture of Izzy Natural Soda (ah, fuck, I just realized I could totally advertise that... try it too) and Grey Goose vodka. I know, I know, I only drink Effen, but it's too hard to come up with a good name on that. Second are our Kaboomcrown'ncokes. It's just like a Crown and Coke except we're gonna put real cherries in them. Kaboom! Oh yeah, also, every time you make one you have to scream, "KABOOM!" when you drop the cherries in. Loves it.

Let me know if you want to come join us and I just might let you. Later, have-nots!

I'm really only updating to benefit my dear friend, Allison, who is up in Virgina for Spring Break and is feeling out of the loop. Fact of the matter is, there's no loop to be out of. I have not done a damn thing for the past few days but slump over on the couch in a slightly catatonic state staring at home improvement and cooking shows.

I had another amalgamation of two of my favorite things in the world. If you'll recall, the first time this happened was when I found out that John Denver did duets with the Muppets. Then, only recently, Lisa Loeb got her own TV show on the Food Network. And now, Dean Johnson, host of PBS's Hometime, is doing infomercials!!1! I fucking love infomercials. I would rather watch a good infomercial than a 30 minute sit-com any day ... any day. And now one of my heroes is hocking the "Little Giant" fully adjustable ladder. Sure, it's a little more expensive than a discount store ladder, but can you really put a price on your safety?

I think I am going to depart today for Houston. My brother's wife recently had some complications with her pregnancy. She has to be on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy (which is hopefully going to be a full 4 months). Since I'm an old pro at being in bed 24 hours a day, I thought I might be able to help out a little while my brother's at work during the day. Or as his wife put it, "Help feed and water her." I'll probably be there until Friday and then its back to CS and Spring Break is over. It sure has flown by. I might need to take another one before graduation. Speaking of graduation, all of my siblings are going to come. I am really excited now. Alright, you sluts, I will catch you on Friday.