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I just got back from a week in San Antonio. I was there to take a training class for work. It was from 8-5 every day in the hotel I was staying at next to the airport. Needless to say I was bored out of my gourd. I took this picture as I was checking out of my hotel room because I thought it rather succinctly summed up my entire trip. People in my training course were kind of laughing at me because I was eating each night at places like Papadeaux's and Applebee's. They thought I should get out and experience the local fare. But I was just like, c'mon, I'm from Dallas. It's not like San Antonio is a foreign country. If I managed to find something uniquely San Antonio it would just be a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place with meat, cheese, and tortillas combined in a variety of ways. So I opted to eat at places I liked, albethem chain restaurants, because it was free. And that made it special.

So I made it through the week with little incident. Last night Daniel and I went with JennyC■■■ to see the new Sex and the City movie. It was fantastic. If you haven't seen it yet, you definitely should. We went to the Studio Movie Grill to watch it so we could get loaded at the same time. But ultimately, the same thing happened to me that always happens there. I end up having to pee so bad by the time the movie's over that I have a hard time sitting still. But I made it through. There was one thing about the movie that pissed me off. And it's not a spoiler, but if you don't want to know anything about the movie don't read this next part. So Charlotte adopted that little Chinese girl, right? And what did she name her? Lily. How many times have I said that I'm adopting a little Asian girl and naming her Lily because I want violin music while I eat? But I also always said that if I had another little girl, I would name her Rose. Not so much because of the obvious floral reference, but because I like the really old-timey names. Okay, so Charlotte has a baby and they name it Rose. So now if I ever by some fluke of nature have two daughters, and name them Lily and Rose, people will be like, oh yeah from Sex and the City. And that will piss me off. So I'm having my tubes tied.

In other news, the Allistralian came back to the states for a visit. She is leaving Australia soon and convinced me that it's now or never if I want to go visit her. So Daniel and I are going to Australia. For REAL this time. No joke. It'll probably be somewhere in the August range. It's gonna be a pretty baller ass vacation, but that's okay because those are the kinds of vacations we need to be taking. I'll keep you all posted on details of that. If anyone would like to go with, the more people we have the easier that 12 hour flight will be. Lemme know. Peace out.

First off, I am still alive. I didn't starve myself to death. Secondly, the Master Cleanse is over. I couldn't do it any more. Things just kept getting worse. The hunger I could deal with, no problem. But I was also cold all day every day. And sweating. And my stomach hurt like I was throwing up all the time. And then on the sixth day, severe heartburn showed up. I've only ever had heartburn while sleeping or laying down, but this was just all day while I was working. That's when my resolve finally crumbled. I came home and had a glass of mango juice.

Valentine's Day we went to see Jumper and I had 6 pieces of popcorn. And then a Clif bar and a protein shake later that night. And my stomach went crazy. It's been really difficult transitioning back into food. I can eat like a fourth of what I normally would before I'm uncomfortably full. So that's good. And I'm down to 155 lbs for the first time in years and years, so that's also good. But other than that, I got zero benefit from cleansing my body of imaginary toxins. Perhaps my attitude kept me from feeling good, but I really believe that the human body is perfectly adept at removing "toxins" on it's own without the help of extreme amounts of lemon juice. I do believe some of what the Master Cleanse talks about with the over-medicating of America and how a balanced diet of raw fruits and vegetables is likely the solution to a larger percentage of problems than we care to admit. That putting the right things into your body will prevent sickness and promote healthy weightloss and energy. But then at the same time, I couldn't reconcile that with only putting syrup and lemons in. Seemed counter productive.

So I quit. And I already decided that Febrehabruarv will be less demanding. It'll be more like Febrehabruarii when I spent all my extra money on fine dining experiences.

Now, contrary to everything I've just said, I think I'm gonna go buy some Kinoki pads and see if they can remove some toxins out the soles of my feet!

I always tease Daniel about date night because the entire concept is so ridiculous and reserved only for married couples in strained relationships who really don't like being around each other, but once a week go out together and get sauced up enough to copulate. So any time we go out to dinner or a movie I like to scream, "Date night!" But in all seriousness, tonight we had a date night. Dinner for two at Halfshells in Plano. We got a crab and shrimp and andoiulle sausage platter and a couple beers. Then we went to see August Rush. Srsly, go see it. Read my review to the right for more on that. It was just perfect. We should really try to do this once a week.

One more week and I'll be Vegas bound. I can't wait. Daniel really can't wait. The Vegas trip is to celebrate his graduation, which will also occur in one week. He's already finished with several of his classes and I just couldn't be more proud of him. He's kind of a big deal. It's going to be a hectic week for me and then I have like 10 days in a row away from work, and you'd better believe me, I'm going to forget alllll about it.

One last thing about August Rush and then I'm done. I really want my brother to go see it because on those late nights when we were up recording Brother Band songs, and he would man the guitar, he always played it like August does. Two hands on the neck of the guitar ... bangin' ... making beautiful music. Only his was a fraction of a second long and had to be looped in order to sound cool. But still, same effect. I'm heading off to lay on the couch some more, my home in my home. Czech you skillets on the flip side.

Friday night Daniel and I went to the movie theater on account of my surgery keeping me from being able to drink. Whenever I'm sober and I try to think of something to do, I always end up at the movie theater. It's just about the only wholesome activity I am aware exists.

As we were pulling up to the Valley View Mall, we were behind this ostentatious Mercedes-Benz SUV. It had a flatscreen TV at the front of the passenger cabin and one at the back. And instead of seats it had benches. The side of the truck had this huge picture of this old dude with Einstein hair and his signature and logo. It was none other than... drum roll... Peter Nygård! Holy shit!

If you're like me, then your reaction to that news was a little something like, "Who?" As we passed by Dillards we saw people running around with walkie-talkies and a crowd of people waiting. This was clearly where Peter was heading. We parked by the movie theater and then I ran over to Dillards because I was far too curious. I asked a guy with an earpiece who Peter Nygård was and he said he designs women's clothes that sell at Dillards. Well it just so happened that as I was getting this information, the same Mercedes-Benz monstrosity pulled up next to me.

About 6 hot hoochies stepped out first. Daniel was pulling me toward the theater so we could get seats but I told him to wait because I really wanted to clap for Peter Nygård. So this old guy steps out and I started clapping wildly, trying to get everyone around me started as well. It didn't work. And I didn't stop.

I was clearly on drugs.

Then we went to see the new James Bond flick, Casino Royale. Read my review. It was so awesome. I want you all to go see it today.

Normally the content on the sidebar of my webpage is disposable, but I think my review of Brokeback Mountain is probably one of the most popular things I've ever written -- certainly the most popular non-Hints from Heloise. So I wanted to kind of preserve it for all time here since it's time to update the Moooview Review.

Brokeback Mountain

Starring: Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein of Gelderland and Donnie Darko

Rating: 0 out of 5 high altitude fucks

If you haven't seen Brokeback Mountain yet, perhaps you should not read my review because I'm going to divulge what happens in the beginning, middle, and end. Ready? NOTHING! Nothing happens. It is short meaningless scenes of uncomfortably slow nothingness punctuated by the exact same sad, acoustic guitar rift. Bling blang blang blang.

Critics are describing this movie as a moving and timeless love story for the ages. Am I the only one who noticed that the two characters never once said, "I love you?" Why not? Because there was no love, no romance, no dialogue, no plot. This wasn't a love story, this was a story about two cowboys who drank too much whiskey and ended up kissing and having frantic, disturbing, bareback, spit-shove sex. In short, if you went to A&M, you've seen this movie a hundred times.

In closing, I would like to offer you a suitable alternative to paying to see this piece of half-assed cinema riding the wave of "we gots us some gay characters hiiiiiii-ya!" Here's what you do. Read this next run-on sentence over and over and over again for the next three hours and you will have experienced Brokeback Mountain:

"I want to be with you, no wait I don't, I mean I do or no I don't, I don't know I'm so butch but I want to touch you I can't I will I won't."

If you haven't ever seen Dave Chapelle's Block Party, I suggest you go rent it immediately and bask in it. Just bask. I rented it last night when Blockbuster didn't have Strangers with Candy (so lame). So now I'm sitting home alone with a bottle of Patrón chilling in the freezer thoroughly enjoying myself. I got dressed up for no reason, fried some dinner in butter and life is good.

I remember the first time I saw Block Party. It was when the ever lovely Miss Lesbie Ann B■■■■■ was in my hizzell and we wanted a drizzell in the mornizzle, like you do. After drinking breakfast at the Gecko we went to Studio Movie Grill and laughed our asses off at this movie in between martinays. Loves it.

On Monday I have to get up at 4am. I have a 6am flight to Manassas, VA. Well, there's no airport in Manassas, obviously, but it is right near Washingtown, DC. I have to be there for a week with work. I would be lying if I didn't say I was looking forward to it. I've gotten in a rut lately, if you haven't noticed. I hardly ever leave my apartment. I never go anywhere or do anything. That is one downfall to dating. You just get comfortable and stop trying to look around for fun things to do. So now I'm going to Manassas. If I weren't dating Daniel then I'd say I looked forward to getting some asses in Manassas, but it's just a tag line now.

I got my sister's name in our annual xmas gift exchange. She's a 30-something news anchor, soon-to-be-mother of two with a brand new house. Give me gift ideas. I am not having any ideas pop into my head.

Like I said, not too many hilarious stories to tell from the couch unless you want me to recount my favorite episodes of Family Guy.... No? Then FUCK YOU. I'm out. Peace.

Sechs, sechs, sechs. Haha! That reminds me of when I was in German class and we had to do group work. We'd always come up with awesome group names. My personal favorite (go figure) was always Gruppe G6. If you pronounce it auf Deutsch, it sounds like "group gay sex." That's hot.

Anyway, so no rapture today. I was kind of disappointed. I've had a good run. No real festivities either. I'm thinking tonight I might go with Daniel to see The Omen. I don't know if I'll be able to handle a scary movie, but it just feels so appropriate. Plus, I like a good Antichrist as much as the next guy.

I had a most industrious night last night. Let me see if I can explain. I went to bed at a fairly reasonable hour. I put my two phones on their chargers, set my alarm, turned off the lamp and went to bed. This morning I woke up around 7:15, well before my alarm. That's pretty unusual for me. I looked up to see what time it was and my fucking clock was GONE! This might disturb any other schmoe, but it didn't really strike me as odd. I looked around to see where it had gone and found it in bed with me, unplugged. Also unplugged and laying on the bed were my two phones still attached to their chargers and my nightstand lamp. I also threw in the camera for good measure, but it wasn't plugged in. The best part of it is, all of this is well outside my arm's reach, so I had to have been up and out of bed unplugging shit and throwing it in the bed with me. I was pretty confused but I think it might have something to do with a phone call I missed around 3am. I bet I heard my phone buzzing, thought it was the alarm clock, probably tried hitting snooze a few times, and then decided to unplug everything. That's the best guess I can come up with anyway.

Fuck man, I know this sucks, but it does occasionally make life a little more entertaining!

I finally finished painting my bedroom. I have never been so proud of myself for anything in my life. I think it looks so good, almost like an adult, put together bedroom. My bed floats in the middle of the room now. I still need a new end table, new lamps, new bed frame, new table, and new curtains, but the biggest portion of the work is done. It was really hard for me to get one good picture that showed it off, so I took a few. The fourth one is to show you that I did, indeed, repaint my router to match.

I also cut all my hair off and I'm growing a beard. This is a life makeover. Now if I could just stop chain smoking and skipping the gym. I was doing so well for a while there. I'll get back on it soon. I fell off of my diet somewhat due to my trip to Houston for Memorial Day weekend. It was totally worth it though. I went to visit my brother and help out with his impregnito wife and baby daughter. Kaylyn is the cutest thing, and now that she can talk, she is funny too. It was really nice to get to know her, and have her know who I am. About every 5 minutes she would ask, "Where's Uncle David?" if I wasn't in her immediate view. She'll be 2 in July. I can't believe she's getting so big so fast.

I also got to see Kevin. We drank a lot and played darts. I ended up losing after coming from way behind to take the lead. That g*d damn bullseye. I could not hit it. The rest of the nights I hung out with my brother. We saw X3. I thoroughly enjoyed it, although it wasn't the best X-Men movie, I didn't think. Still worth seeing though. One night we went to this place called Whiskey River. It was a totally open up barn type building with this wasted, barefoot guy playing guitar on stage. When we walked in he was berrating some paying customers that had asked him to please stop yelling and cussing into the microphone. It sent him into a tirade about being in the service industry. This guy was so bad, I can hardly explain it. His guitar was so out of tune that my brother noticed it. That's pretty bad.

There are a few distinct stereotypical guitar players. There's the "plays Dave at college parties" guitar player. There's the "pseudo lesbian Ani-wanna-be" guitar player. There's the "stuck-in-the-80s all I wanna do is wail ARE YOU READY TO ROOOOCK YOW!" guitar player. There's the "classically trained and snooty as hell because of it" guitar player. I like to consider myself a "only knows 3 songs and plays them repeatedly" guitar player. If you can think of any more, please feel free to share. Anyway, after one second of looking at the entertainment for the night, I remarked to my brother, "This guy LOVES Pearl Jam, I guarantee it." So we started yelling for him to play some Pearl Jam. The only song we could think of was Jeremy. He told us that he would play Jeremy because it was a great song, but never fucking did. He did, however, play some Pearl Jam, and as you would expect, he did it in his best Eddie Vetter impression voice. So fucking lame. When we left, my brother held down the horn from the time we got in the car until we left the parking lot to interrupt his show. Too damn funny.

I think that's all the news to report. Leave me some comments on how I have the best fucking bedroom in the world. Thaaaaaaaanks.

Like the late, great Albert Einstein once said, "I have a dream!" Last night, I fuckin had one.

Let me recap. On Tuesday morning, I went to see the ENT doctor that specializes in the Pillar Procedure. I had 3 small surgical foam pillars inserted into the soft pallate at the back of my throat. It was crazy. I got sprayed with some numbing stuff. Then I sucked on a sponge-sicle soaked in some kind of gooey anesthetic that ran down the back of my throat like ... syrup. Achem. Then, they injected me like 5 times with a needle full of the real anesthetic. Next came 3 huge, hollowed out needles with the pillars inside them. It was so freaky. I could feel every millimeter of them as they went in. I knew where they were and could tell that he was dead on where I thought they should be. But, I felt no pain.

After that ordeal was over, they sprayed some stuff up my nose. Then I got an epinepherin (sp?) shot in each nostril. They said it would cause my blood vessels to shrink limiting bleeding, but as a side effect, it acted like a huge adrenalin shot. My heart started racing and I started sweating. He said it was just my body's natural fight or flight mechanism kicking in. I almost flew. Once that took effect, he shined a laser up my nose and burned out tissue. I could smell it very well. Nasty. The next 30 minutes I spent sitting in the chair shaking waiting for the shots to wear off. And then, it was over.

Daniel was sweet enought to take a day off to take me to the doctor and bring me home. I got some good pain medicine, and was pretty comfortable on the couch watching movies holding tissues under my nose to collect the massive amount of blood rushing out. Not a bad way to spend your afternoon, I must say.

Today, I'm still very sore. My lymph nodes are swollen as they attack the foreign bodies in my throat. My nose is sore and runs a lot although the red faded to pink, and is now almost entirely snot colored. And last night, I had a dream. I didn't wake up fully refreshed or anything, but I think that's good progress. It could potentially take up to 18 weeks for me to get the full effect. If this doesn't work, I'm having more surgery. So wish me luck.

I haven't really been to work in a long time. I pop in now and again, but I have had other things to do deal with. I took off today to go see United 93 (awesome) and now I'm going to spend the remainder of my afternoon painting my bedroom. Yeah I had a change of heart and a change of colors. But it looks really hot. I'll surely show you all when I'm done. Laaaaaaaaaaaate.

It's great to be back. I gotta tell you. Boy, I missed beer. And liquor. Liquor? I hardly even know her. My glorious return to drinking was shared with a couple of birthdays. First, to the Allistralian. She flew halfway around the world and I had to fuckin miss her bbq. I was stuck in Funkytown until like 7:30pm for work, and then by the time I arrived back at the office, I already had some friends from out of town waiting for me. So my apologies, but I do hope you had the best birthday ever.

Next, was Miss Lesbie Ann. She drove up from Austin to celebrate turning into 27. Oh wait, I mean, turning 27, my mistake. She had been to Dallas plenty of times, but she had never been to Addison! I assumed I would have to show her all that Addison! had to offer, but instead, she showed me ....

Friday night we sat around drinkin beers like I do most weekends. I wanted her to meet everyone and see how we do. Saturday morning we woke up and went to Cafe Gecko for Bloody Marys and breakfast (since when are those different things). From there, we went and bought tickets for Dave Chappelle's Block Party. Really, we just wanted to drink more and figured a movie without a solid plot might allow for breaks to the bathroom. A few margaritas and martinis later we retired for a respite in my apartment until it was time for our appointments at the spa. Unfortunately, they couldn't find anyone to massage me on such short notice, but Lester did have a diamond scrub facial with allllll the trimmings. I met her at Zen Bar to celebrate and we threw back a few brewskis, brah. Then we met up with Daniel to go to Shuck and Jive where we ate more oysters than you would normally assume three people would eat and drank a lot more brews, dude. Our plans to get fancied up and go south of 635 were interrupted by our inability to drive. So we wrapped up the evening drinking at Daniel's until we both passed out. What a fabulous weekend. Thank you so much to my host, Leslie!

Last bit of business. Who watched Project Runway? Who else is incensed at the finale? Chloe?!?! Give me a fucking break. Her collection was a bunch of shiny GEM monstrocities. I thought they were going to tear her a new one. I was a Dan Fan through the whole season but had just recently switched to voting for Santino. I wasn't blown away by any one collection, but I thought that Santino would win. Daniel's was too plain Jane store shelf looking. I don't wanna look at anything too conceptual but I also don't want to look at something I probably could have thought of. Blech, what a disappointment. I can't wait until Jay McCarroll's line comes out. I'm gonna wear the shit out of it.

This weekend. Out of town. Niece's 1st birthday in OKC. Can't wait. See you all when I get back.

Have you seen this Colgate commercial? They're implying that if your gums bleed a little bit when you brush that it could be a sign of gingivitis and that brushing with Colgate will fix that. But what gets me every time is the chick who says "When I saw a little pink in the sink...." You cannot tell me I'm the only one who hears "two in the pink, one in the stink" and looks up expecting to see the shocker.

I have a new goal. Well, actually, it's an old goal, but I'm going to go for it now. I want to own everything as seen on TV. I'm talking everything. I'm going to begin with the Faraday Flashlight. It's a flashlight that charges itself based on the electromagnetic principles discovered by English chemist and physicist Michael Faraday. I'm really impressed they named it after him too. I also like that you have to shake it in a masturbatorial motion in order to get it to work.

How was Vegas? Oh, I'm glad you asked. I won about 700 bucks. Yay! Unfortunately, I lost about 850. It was pretty fun though. I hit a couple of big pots on the slots. I was just in such a mood for slots. You know how it is, when you get all slotty, put on your slottiest outfit. I got to see the Allistralian! She is back in the contiguous United States. We were in Vegas together for her last night and my first night. Good times. I need to call her now that she's in Dallas. The rest of my trip was resignation fodder, but the odds of that blossoming beyond an idle threat are small. I used to have ambition. Sigh.

I don't have to work tomorrow. Rawk! Oh, I almost forgot it was still Febrehabruarii and I have to comment on it. I didn't crack whilst in Sin City. It was a huuuuuge challenge, but no problemo for yours truly. I've been having a lot of sober fun with my fellow rehabruaers, Daniel and Brett Sabulous. Oh, and in closing, let me just save you all 8 bucks -- do NOT go see Date Movie. Laaaaaaaaaate.

Today was a pretty good day. In all honesty, I had a good ending by proxy because my neighbor Daniel had had such a good day. He went and bought this 200 dollar touch screen remote control that can control everything in his apartment. Right now it does everything but the lights, but he's going to buy a receiver for that soon, and when it's all done, he'll be able to hit one button and the TV will turn on, change to Video 1 for DVD, turn on the DVD player, switch the audio receiver to DVD and dim the lights. It does everything but wipe your ass, but we're working on that.

During his little shopping spree he went to get me a new DVD player. No more Playstation DVD watching for me. It's like every pool boy's dream to get a new DVD player. It will go well with the new iPod Nano I got. I also got a new bike. Awesome. The Danimal was in a really spontaneous mood from all of his spree shopping. He wanted to go to London. Like now. I compromised and we went to rent a movie we'd just seen mentioned on VH1's I Love the 80s 3-D. It was Mel Brooks's's History of the World Part I. It looked so funny on TV, but really, it was just stupid. I think his generation's humor has come and passed.

While we were driving around we passed a sign near the building site of the new Addison! Wal-Mart that said "Coca-Cola: Now Hiring." I've never seen a Coca-Cola store before so I can't imagine what is going on there. I'll tell you one thing, though: I'm going to apply. I think it would be fun to tell people that I started selling coke on the weekends to make a little extra cash. Only, I'd be a lot better than your usual coke dealer. At least when you buy your coke from me, you get a free bag of ice.

Two weeks later, I have finally arrived back home. Getting from Cincinnati to Austin was an ordeal. It took right around 12 hours total. First my plane from Cincinnati to Chicago was delayed by the hurricane. When it finally arrived, we were delayed by a problem at O'Hare. By the time I got to Chicago, my connecting flight was long gone. My new flight was then canceled and I ended up getting to Austin-Bergstrom at 1am. A long cab ride later I was finally at Leslie's.

Leslie's apt was low-key and fun. We sat around drinkin' wine and brewskis and watching Food Network and Napoleon Dynamite. Leslie just bought a house! Yay! Her housewarming party should be sometime around October and I cannot wait. We drove by the house and it is too cute. Even though the street name is dirrty.

I drove back to Dallas today and finally got to see my buddy, Tuna. I'm a little disconcerted by the fact that he no longer has a tail fin. I'm not sure what happened there, but he is a uniplegic now. Poor guy. He is not in a good mood. Thanks to Mr. K■■■■■■ for taking such doting care of my fish.

I went and had coffee with Mikey since he's staying up in Plano while he interviews here in Dallas. Good times, good times. Alright, I gotta go to bed, but I wanted to let you all know that I made it back alive. I'm not really looking forward to returning to work tomorrow, but I'm going to the sleep clinic tomorrow night, so I have something to look forward to. Here's to my last night of apnea ridden sleep. Huzzah!

There is a new name for my 'new' hair-do. It's called the breeze. Ryan S■■■ and I came up with it because it appears as though an invisible breeze is constantly blowing from the right. I'm a big fan of the breeze and plan to take it to extremes that rival my fox hawk experimentation. Tonight I went to a barbeque at Eddie's house with a bunch of peeps. It was decided that I have to crimp my hair. This guy said he would buy me a crimper if I would go out with my hair crimped. I'm going to see if I can get that started. How fucking funny would that be? Very.

I do need to make an appt to have my hair cut before AllieD's wedding. I'm thinking of going platinum, but I'm not entirely sure. I may let Xristofer have the final say since I'm always so damn happy with the results, but I am kind of tired of the dark. I can hide the fact that my blonde hair has grown out blonde highlights, but it's a little bit more obvious with the dark. All I know is that I want it to be so much longer than it is and I am convinced that it has stopped growing. Patience has never been my #1 virtue.

Had a pretty good weekend. Met lots of new neighbors that could be pretty fun. Drank lots and lots of beer. Watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith with no sound (review to follow). All in all, not too shabby. Tomorrow I go to the doctor to get my apnea fixed. I cannot wait. Plus, I'll leave work early. Hurrah!

I was just talking to Allistralian and I remembered a story I totally forgot to tell you all. I was sitting in a hotel room in Oshkosh, WI watching TV with my mom, my brother-in-law Bryan, and sister-in-law Krouton. There was nothing particularly good on (except the old school Saturday Night Live hosted by Pee Wee Hermann with musical guest some-crappy-zydeco-band) so we were flipping. As my mom breezed by TLC, I saw the logo for Sheer Dallas and made her stop.

As I explained the premise of the show, they announced that the stylists were going to pair up for a big hair contest. It was a radio announcement I knew all too well, since I was in Pompeo, the salon, when it happened. I mentioned that this was where I got my hair done, although I refused to tell my mother just how much my haircut had actually cost. About halfway through the show, I said, "Hey, there's Xristopher, my stylist!" And a few seconds later ... you guessed it! ... BAM, a full head shot of yours truly. I was on TLC for 3 glorious seconds, sitting in a chair with a head full of foil. It was one of the proudest moments of my life. If anybody else happened to witness the blessed event, do be sure to let me know.

Next order of business, I went and saw Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith tonight. I was gonna put it on my movie reviews, but I thought it was deserving of blog status. This movie was so badass. If you're a Star Wars fan at all, you're going to love it. If not, you'll still probably love it. There were so many badass elements to it, but my favorite was at the end. Before you whine and bitch, we all know what happens at the end, so I'm not ruining the movie. That'd be like me telling you the Titanic sinks. But when Darth Vader walks into the ship with the Emperor, they made it look exactly like Episode IV. They didn't revamp it at all. All the computers had ridiculously large, square LEDs that serve no purpose and all the dudes in there were wearing the old skool military uniforms. Love it. Go see it and let me know what you think.

To tie it all together, I think on my next haircut, scheduled for sometime in late June, I might go towards the dark side.

BUM BUM BUM BUMBA DUM BUMBA DUM

I went to my first happy hour in a while yesterday at the Flying Saucer with Max and Karen, old engineering technologies buddies. We had a fantastic time, a few beers, some delicious bratwurst with saurkraut and mustard. I came home fairly early, sat on the computer, and then went to bed in accordance with the sleep rules.

As it turns out, what I had done there was concoct the perfect recipe for heartburn. I've never had heartburn before, but from what I experienced and what I read, that's what it had to be. I was up literally all night trying to swallow down that acid in the back of my throat. By morning, I was fighting back the urge to vomit. I knew I had to go to work to at least give someone the work computer I've been using. So I went there first, and that's when time ran out. I threw up in the work bathroom and then came home. I absolutely feel like shit and I don't know what to do about it. Now that the burning sensation is gone, I'm left with a terribly sore throat and an excess of mucus. I'm not sure what to do.

Tell you one thing, though. My finances are in a dire situation. I think from this point forward, I am going to go back into the Febrehabruary mode. Not so strict, but I'm definitely curbing my spending a lot from now on. I need, need, need to pay off my significant credit card debt from Europe before I go to Australia on June 30. It's not like people are knocking down my door to hang out with me anyway, but I just thought I'd let you all know that my life from now until Australia will be a game of saving money, eating chicken breasts, working out and sleeping.

Is anybody going to see Star Wars tonight? Let me know how it is.

I have some advice for all of you who will be graduating soon and looking for full-time employment. Obtaining your dream job will not make your job a dream ... it will only make your dreams a job.

Sometimes I think up random shit and then I find myself to be unduly clever. Also, I like to make myself feel better about my non-existance. Coming back to work has been particularly difficult this week what with the deadlines and my apathy. I miss Sweden. I miss Germany. I miss socialists and liberals. Baseball and bar-be-que just hasn't quite filled the void.

I no longer have a roommate. Andy moved out on Wednesday. I totally thought he was leaving next Wednesday or I would have made more ado about it. Like friendship bracelets or something. But as it was, he gathered up his stuff and left Wednesday afternoon. I don't mean to sound sappy but I already miss him. I totally wanted to just go have a beer and a conversation tonight and I couldn't find anyone to join me. Travass eventually changed his mind about declining my invitation and absolutely saved the day, but still... it was nice to have a live-in drinking buddy. But now I've got two of my best friends with me -- Coors Light and Hedwig. What more can you honestly ask for?

I feel like I had a lot more planned for this entry, but I must have left those ideas back at the first beer. I'm sure they'll come back to me. Thank you for your understanding, but most of all, for your support.

Huzzah! I made it through my first Friday night without so much as a sip of my intoxicating lover, ethanol. I can tell you one thing: It was not easy. First, I left work early to go play pool with my coworkers for Trey's birthday. We played 10-ball, which was new to me, but a really fun game. I lost $7. Apparently you're not allowed to gamble in these pool halls, so when we got busted, we had to quickly cover by saying that we were all exchanging money to pay for beer. We were obviously not paying for beer. But they were all drinking it. The sweet aroma wafting through the air, mixing and intertwining with the acrid smell of freshly burnt tobacco. "Just get a beer!" they would say. And I declined. I stayed for about an hour, but after my few glasses of water, I had to get out of there.

Onto a dinner date thing with my new friend Adam. He was dreadfully late, but kept consistent communication all night. I always tell people, I don't care if you're late or have to cancel if you just fucking call and let me know. That is really the key. So I awarded him points for that. Cheddars (not my choice) was packed. Apparently this is a big Friday night destination for fat, straight people. Since it was so crowded, we opted for two empty seats ... at the bar. Neither of us were hungry so we chit-chatted and split the spinach dip. I had about 26 glasses of water while Adam enjoyed three margaritas on the rocks "with a little stank on em." He also inhaled about a half a pack of cigarettes. "Just get a margarita. I won't tell anyone," he insisted. And I declined. He had made plans to go out that night, and Ryan S■■■ and I were supposed to have a movie night so we parted ways early.

Ryan and I went to the new Wal-Mart Neighborhood store here and got some Moolenium Crunch ice cream (the best) and a couple of magazines to read. We endulged in our Friday night pleasures and watched my copy of the Phantom. (Shhhh, don't tell the federal government.) Ryan didn't like it. I did, but I slept through it. Earlier that evening Ryan asked if I wanted something to drink. My choices were orange juice, water or wine. Wine? Ryan's Febreviewary has different rules than my Febrehabruary. In his month, he has only to avoid buying alcohol in an effort to save money. So previously owned wine is well within the rules. And I ... I declined.

Omega, I just realized. Alcohol is, like, my own personal jesus christ. All before the cock crowed, I denied it three times.

Hehe, I said "cock"

HAPPY SOLSTICE!!!!!1! Today it was 70 degrees and the forecast for tomorrow is snow.

Here are some things I've probably told all you at one time or another, but I need to get them out there, because it will make future blogs easier to write.

First, I am giving up drinking for an entire month. I have selected February as my dry month, for the obvious reason that it is the shortest month and I'm concerned that this will be next to impossible for me. There are several reasons that I am doing this. The first of which is that I'm concerned that this wil be next to impossible for me. It's that whole, "I can quit anytime," mentality that gets people into trouble. So I want to make sure I can still quit anytime. I have also been disturbingly unproductive since I moved here. I need to finish decorating and painting and everything. But the biggest reason is that I need money. I am going to see Allison is Australia in July and one alcohol free month will pay for the entire thing. Yeah, its that out of hand.

The fun thing is, February is 28 days long. So I am going recreate Sandra Bullocks commanding performance in 28 Days (not to be confused with its sequel, 28 Days Later).

In foreign news, I might get to go to Sweden for two weeks for work. I don't care if they make me do fucking manual labor in Sweden, it will fucking rawk. It's not certain in the least that I will get to go but I really, really, really hope I do. I've been pretty pushy about it at work, vying for the opportunity.

Lastly, I am never cutting my hair again. Never. Every day that I don't cut my hair, I am happier than the day before. This counteracts the fact that every day that I go to work is worse than the day before. So I am flatlined right now.

I think that's all that I had to report. I've had about 15 conversations during the time that I was typing this so I got a little sidetracked. Time to go to the gym for a cardio day. Whoo hoo. Later, sluts.

Fine. I'll post. If I had a nickel for every time Ryan H■■■■ had left me a comment complaining about the frequency of my blogs ... well, I'd have like 30 cents, which really isn't a lot of money. I doubt I'd even make the hypothetical benefactor pay me that 30 cents, but still, to illustrate my point, that is a lot of times to make those comments. I haven't posted lately, but I have had some awesome ideas for new posts. I've since forgotten them all, but believe me, they would have been hilarious.

Today was supposed to be my moving day, but time conflicts have pushed that back until tomorrow. I am still going to take some of my stuff over there today but the furniture doesn't go until tomorrow. Which means you fuckers don't get to see it until at least tomorrow. But knowing me, it'll be more like next week.

My co-, Trey, is going to take care of moving me. I don't think I ever explained this on here. We have had a pool table in our garage for a long time. I think the last time it was used was like 5 years ago. Trey plays pool 6 nights out of the week in various leagues, tournaments, and pool halls. He has always wanted a pool table but couldn't ever afford one. The only thing we use our pool table for is to play ping pong on top of it like once a year. So I told my dad I would buy him a really nice, brand new ping pong table in exchange for that ratty old pool table we don't even use. I will, in turn, give that to Trey who will then enlist the help of his son and friends, all of the people who would use his new pool table. And in the end, I get more man power, with no time restrictions, for less money. It's what you call a win/win/win/win situation.

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick." I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D". I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary. This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... It's dirty.

Those are all Mitch Hedberg quotes, you can read more by clicking his name. I saw him and Stephen Lynch last weekend in Austin. Three words: hi-larious. I liked Mitch a lot better, but that is not to say that Stephen Lynch wasn't brilliant in his lyrics and guitar stylings. That paragraph above is pretty much how the show went. Mitch comes on stage drunk, stumbles a little, leans forward over the table where his sheets of paper with jokes written on them are, his hair falls forward over his face and he proceeds to read on after the other. I think we saw his face once. It's like he went to a school for how to become a comedian and then did the exact opposite. I'm always impressed when comedians with long stand-up acts can tie it all together, or use recurring jokes. Mitch did none of this. Didn't even try. I have a lot of respect for that. It was probably 2 of the 50 funniest hours of my life. Didn't get to go out because Stinky Pants got too drunk, but did manage to drink a whole lot (just not at breakfast).

I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do today besides move. I might go see Scott Mechlowicz's new movie, Mean Creek. I'm pretty sure it's out. And he's so dreamy. My internet will be up and running Monday in the apartment, so don't expect another post before then. But do keep checking back hourly just in case I post from home. Hey Ryan, happy now, fucker?

Do you ever just have too much to say? So much so that you don't feel like writing it down. That's what happened to me this past weekend. I decided to just sit on my stories for a while, so details that once seemed monumental are now rather trivial. It will make my blog shorter, and the stories more compact.

First things first. My brothers Stephen and Michael, from Houston and Sacramento, respectively, both visited. Their wives came as well. Stephen brought Kaylyn around so Michael could meet her, to avoid having to introduce himself to her on her 13th birthday. I just loved this picture. I assure you, she was well nutured and attended to all weekend, but this picture is so something my fam would do. 'Ahh, just prop her up, she'll be alright.' It was cute though. It was really good to see everyone that came to dinner on Friday night. I supplied the dessert -- peach cobbler from Marshall's BBQ. Oh man, is it ever good. I made everyone try it, even if they didn't want to. I also passed around my shock lighter. That was some good entertainment there. By the end of the night, we had 11 people around the table holding hands, while Stephen and I grabbed the lighter simultaneously. Everyone around the circle felt the shock. It was hilarious.

That night I went out to the bars, but wasn't really having much fun. Ryan S■■■ and I decided to just go back to his place and go to sleep. When we got there, however, I coerced him into having one drink before bed. Which turned into two ... then three ... then we lost count. Much squeezy vodka was ingested despite Ryan's attempt to fall asleep. We watched Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, our favorite movie. Since the last time I saw it, I learned all the state capitals. So when they're at the reunion and Toby Dumbfuck asks them to name all the capitals and the Frinkazoid starts off with 'Albuquerque' I KNEW that was NOT the capital of New Mexico, because everyone knows that's Santa Fe. So we called everyone we knew to tell them that and even convinced Jason and Levi to come have a drink with us. We were beyond wasted, but obviously so much fun.

Saturday night I went out with Lil Jarrod. We had a blast. He is one of my new favs ... too funny. It was so damn crowded because this weekend was Pride. You could barely move and getting a drink was an impossibility. Ryan S■■■ got fed up with the crowds and left unannounced, so our plan to stay at his place overnight was soon liquidated. Bob and his brother and friends were in the bars too. Too good to see him! We had fun all night long and then set about trying to decide where to go. Even though I had like three Long Islands and about six beers, I was feeling adventurous so we turned toward Plano. But I can't go home because my parents set a big wake-up-the-neighborhood alarm when they go to bed. So we eventually ended up in Lewisville at Lil Jarrod's apartment. I slept on his couch and hope I didn't scare his sister in the morning. I don't think I did though because she was quite lovely and it was nice to meet her.

From there we went back downtown to the Pride Parade. I'm sorry, but I love Pride. I don't care how many people are too cool for school. It is my favorite holy day, second only to Thanksgiving. I fought for beads as best I could, and even caught some, a feat not to be overlooked. I got some sun -- so hot, saw tons of people I knew, hung out with Lil Jarrod and Marc, got to go to Hamburger Mary's for the first time and meet some new people. All in all it was a wonderful day. I was sunburned and exhausted when I got home, and since then I have been in the most inane training class at work. It is downright painful. But, persevere I will.

This weekend I am going to College Station with Ryan H■■■■. We are going to watch some ring dunkings. I'm not positive who it was but I wanna say Daniel. So I won't have my car but I will have my phone so call me and meet up with. Alright, sluts, I'm out of here. I gotta go work out because I'm morbidly obese. Peace!

Just a quick blog to inform you all of a couple goings-on in my life. I had to say goodbye to our dear friend, RyanC, on Sunday night. In general, I try to avoid posting anybody's full name without expressed written consent, but RyanC, otherwise known by his mother as Ryan Cloutier said that he wanted to be able to google himself. Since I am on the forefront of google technology (which Christine can vouch for), this will surely do the trick. Sidenote: My Google This! prank has TOTALLY worked. Somebody came to my site and searched for "Michael Phelps speedo." HA! Sucker! Anyway, Ryan Cloutier has moved back to Portland, Oregon (the capital of Oregon is Salem, btw). He's going to be a famous movie star and have his own page on IMDB.com ... kinda like Scott Mechlowicz. Scotty's new movie, Mean Creek, is coming out sometime soon, everybody be sure to see it. Anyway, I really didn't get a chance to hang out with Ryan Cloutier but a couple of times, but he was hella fun to go to New Amsterdam CoffeeHaus with and I will forever be in his debt for introducing me to Moudite.

In other news, I got to play with my niece today. She is such a crab apple. Never stops crying. So right before dinner tonight she went into a spell. My mom held her until she fell asleep while we all ate, so when we were done, I seized my opporitunity to hold her so my mom could grub. My niece was born on July 17th, for those of you just joining us. She slept in my arms for about 20 minutes, but I think she had grown accustomed to my mom's boob for a pillow and my collar bone just wasn't a suitable replacement so she eventually woke up. She started crying, but I bounced her around a little bit and she calmed down. She loves looking out the window so I sat in a rocking chair facing the windows in our family room and sat her up on my lap and hummed to her while she stared out the window. I was quite pleased with my performance, since so very little seems to calm her down for an extended period of time. It was really fun getting to see her. Makes me want a baby of my own, though rest assured, I am decidedly not willing to make one.

I just thought I'd throw a couple stories out there. I have too many backlogged, and I don't want them to go to waste. So I blogged before it turned midnight so I can blog again tomorrow. I've only blogged twice on the same day once in my illustrious career ... can anybody name that day? First person to answer correctly wins a free ticket to sit next to me and see Mitch Hedberg and Stephen Lynch at the Paramount in Austin on October 2nd. No joke. Catch you fuckers at a bad time?

... Also, name the movie that last line came from. Then you win. No joke.

This weekend I made yet another trip to beautiful College Station, Texas. There were good and bad things about my little vacation. Instead of dividing them into two categories I thought I would alternate between one good thing and then one bad thing to keep things all evened out. Starting with the good, naturally.

I got to leave work at 2:30 on Thursday because I had finished everything for the week, which means I got to take a Friday off for free! When I got to College Station, Marshall didn't want to go out and refused to even attempt to have fun. But AllieD was rarin' to go so we got all sloshed and had a rip roaring good time. The next morning I was completely hungover. So Allison and I went to see Napoleon Dynamite and it was really funny. That night I was ready to go crazy at the bar but got completely stood up by Marshall. Allison came to the rescue after I stopped by a party of hers and took her out to Halo. It was completely dead there. 27 showed up. I rounded out the evening back at the party fairly bored and not drunk enough. The next day I got see meet up and go out to lunch with Tommy. I was supposed to go see his new loft downtown when he got off work at 5, but despite knowing that he was home he refused to answer the phone and let me up and I haven't talked to him since. But he lives next door to a bar, so I spent that time drinking beer and talking to the hippies at Revolutions. I wanted to make a shirt like the one that Napoleon wore in the movie, but I ultimately couldn't find the right supplies. So I went back to Marshall's and took a nap. He never called me after he got off work, despite the fact that I put gas in his car that had been sitting empty on the side of the road for a couple of days. I had plans of my own, though, since Brian (Allison's fab friend) and his roommate James were having a party. I was still pretty hungover from my previous days' binging so I really couldn't drink a lot. And the highlight of the weekend, Chris came to the party.

End the pattern. Did everyone notice it alternated good and bad? (I color coded it after the fact.) I didn't even have to try, because the good and bad was chronological it turns out. But yeah, seeing Chris was really good. I miss that kid so much. It's a lot easier to forget that when I haven't seen him in 6 months, but seeing him again brings that all back. It was a good time though. Maybe I'll see him again in 7 years when he graduates from grad school. Raul and Rob accompanied us to the party. That's always a good time. Brian and James have the coolest friends. It was an excellent party. Other highlights included seeing Justin M■■■ and Charlie at Halo, 27s friend being delightfully nice, and Texas Toothpicks. Other lowlights included not seeing Stino, 27s other friend being dreadfully rude, and Marshall leaving for "lunch" while I was still in bed on Sunday and then never ever coming home. I don't think I'll be going back to College Station for a while ... not without reason.

Tonight I went swimming. It felt so good. I realized I haven't been out of breath or felt my muscles burn in months! I felt just like Michael Phelps. Oh great, now everyone googling for pics of the speedo-clad Phelps are going to end up here. It probably won't help that I'm about to say gold medal Athens 2004 Olympics. (After typing this, I've decided to make tricking googlers into coming to my site a permanent feature on my site.)

Last business to discuss. September 3rd: ULDE:IYDKYDG. R■■■ ■■■■, Brent W■■■■, and I are throwing a party to celebrate a day of Labor Pains. That stands for Uptown Labor Day Extravaganza: If You Don't Know, You Don't Go. If you would like to come, leave a comment, and IM or an email giving me your email address and I'll make sure you get on the e-vite list. And with all the e-vite list theft going on around town, you'll probably be invited to several subsequent Dallas parties as well. I'm expecting some College Station folk to attend. Also, October 2nd: Stephen Lynch and Mitch Hedberg, the two funniest men alive, performing together at the Paramount in Austin. I'm buying tickets this Saturday so if you would like to go, let me know. Tickets are $35.

I hope you all have an alternatingly good and bad time this week. And remember ... if you don't know .. you don't go!

When I got home today, my heart skipped a beat. I walked into my room to find my beloved Tuna floating on top of the water. I don't talk about Tuna very much on my blog (he's my fish, for any newcomers) but I sure do love him. He is the most expressive fish I've ever met in my life. People think i'm being facetious when I talk about Tuna being mad at me, but it is so true. Usually when I get home, he sees me walk in the door and swims to the top to wait for me to come say hi to him. But if I happen to forget to feed him for one night, when I come in the next day, he'll swim down behind the faux plants and ignore me. He is so moody but he's the fucking coolest fish ever and I love him. So I come in to find him on top of the water, and I freeeeeeeak, but he doesn't look dead. So I inspect and find that he's pinned above the water on top of one of the plant's leaves, so I pushed him off. He is quite upset by it, and I wish I knew how long he'd been there. Whenever he gets really upset, his purple and black scales turn a pale white, and he's like all white now. Just a second ago he tried to jump out of the tank he's in. I have a suicidal fish just like Amelie.

I joke but if he were really to die, I would be more distraught than you would probably find rational over a pet betta. Hopefully it won't come to that for a few more years. Maybe I should get him some guppy friends. I just don't know.

Last night I had the opportunity to go out to dinner with Sean W. and Tom the Australian. We went out to On the Border and introduced Tom the Australian to margaritas. He approved, naturally. Then we watched Ellen Degeneres' stand up called Here and Now. Can't remember if I mentioned this stand up routine already, but I rented it randomly one day and proceeded to watch it like 3 times a night until it was due and then I bought it and kept on watching it. Even though I've seen it about 50 times, we laughed our asses off. It was so much funnier watching it with other people around to laugh with you. And Tom the Australian hadn't seen it yet so he had some fresh laughter to contribute. It was a really great time. Of course, I was out until about midnight, a new latest record.

So today I spent the day getting pi out to 250 digits, getting all the states and capitals down, taking a look at the square root of 2, and getting started on the presidents in order. I also got scared that some of this might be a waste of my time and brain capacity so I prepared an excel sheet to help me memorize all 120 or so phone numbers in my cell phone. As I was going through the list, many, many of you got deleted, but the rest of you will soon be backlogged in my brain for eternity. It's so good that they're paying me to stay busy. Ha! The beers and jaeger shots are telling me to go to sleep now, so I'll see you have nots later.

Another party with Ryan S■■■ & Co. in the bag. I always have way too much fun when I hang out with them. They are like the silver lining on the dark cloud that I call my life. Ryan invited me to this party in his neighborhood and said I should show up at his place early at 8:45. So around 9:00 I joined up with Ryan, Brent, David S., Waleed, Sean W., and Tom the Australian. Tom talked funny. But, I took a liking to him instantly ... I'd like to say it was because he was nice and laughed at my jokes and was friendly and engaging ... but, it was because of the accent. I had one beer there while I shifted into my 'stand-up routine guy' mode of story telling and then we went to the party.

It was over in The Block, the same place the party was where David S. threw bananas over the balcony onto people's cars. There was a nice crowd there, the host, Jason, was celebrating a birthday. He has a really nice apartment with a stellar view. I indulged a bit on the free alcohol, but mostly just chit chatted with friends and strangers. Mr. K■■■■■■ showed up to end his quite impressive Sidesho-less streak. He claims that he's never at his computer when I message him, but I'm gonna have to call shenanigans.

From there it was off to Minc. There was a big sign up by the front door that you could sign. We (Ryan, David, Robert and I) discussed it over lunch this afternoon. Apparently the sign was for some girl's graduation. I wrote, "Hang out with your wang out!" and David S. wrote, "Happy Birthday!" Too funny. Especially since we had no idea what it was or who it was for. I ran into a bit of trouble at Minc because Tom the Australian said that he only liked to drink shots. So in an effort to show off the size of my ... wallet, I bought some shots. So by the time we left Minc, this guy was in a state. Roundup was pretty fun, I don't remember all of the details. I think I danced a bit with Tom the Australian but was too slovenly drunk to keep my balance. I bought some random girl a beer. I saw Eric Bohdan ... if any of you know who he is. We talked for a while.

Then I made Waleed take me back to Ryans. I think we went through Whataburger on the ride, as is evidenced by the empty bag, not by my memory. Me and taquitos ... I am so fun. I passed out in Ryan's bed and he said when he got home, I wouldn't move out of his bed until he danced. I wish I had been there cause that sounds funny. I was all indignant about letting him have his own bed. And then some friends busted in later but I don't remember that happening so hopefully I just kept my mouth shut. When we woke up we watched 28 Days, not to be confused with its sequel, 28 Days Later. It's a movie about Sandra Bullock being an alcoholic in rehab, the perfect post-lunch/breakfast (sometimes called brunch) where we all drank mimosas, bellinis, and bloody marys.

Ultimately, it was hella fun, despite my day long hangover and the dent in my bank account. Today was my dad's birthday and we ate the beautiful cake I decorated and watched Die Hard. It was good times. Tomorrow, I have to work again. How horribly depressing that this pattern will repeat itself until I die. Oh well, I'll get through it. And when I do, I will see you all on the flip side.

Last night was delightful. I got to go to Clay's house in this magical neighborhood surrounded by castlegates, drawbridges, magik and mystery. He had read my blog on having too many items in my pockets (07/24/2004: My daily inventory) and brought me a stylish euro man bag from Spain! How cool is that. Thank you, Clay, I copyright my new man bag. He also brought with him a bottle of the forbidden, therefore more desirable, Absinthe. The way we drank it was so cool. First you put some in a glass with ice. Then you take a spoonful of sugar, dip it into the alcohol, and then light the spoon on fire. As the sugar melts you let it drip back down into the glass. When it has sufficiently melted, you stir it all up until it's milky and add water. I really enjoyed my first experience. In a nutshell, it tasted exactly like liquid black licorice. Nothinkg to write home about ... but certain something to blog about.

Work today was so pointless. I know that my work ethic is a well known and often lamented fact of engineering lore, but I honestly believe I'm a hard worker. When I have something to do and it needs to get done, boy howdy, I'll get it done for you, and quick. I'll even work late or through the night or on the weekends if it needs be. What I don't do is show up early in the morning to the ghetto to sit on my hands for 5 hours pissing and moaning about the way things are run. I didn't do a fucking thing all day. Oh well, I guess things could have been worse. One thing I noticed today is that the number one goal of everyone on a jobsite is to pass the buck. It doesn't matter what hasn't been done or who was supposed to do it, "It ain't my job."

And a lot of times, people will use the phrase, "... and I told [insert name here] this ..." I heard that about 100 times today. Example: "What we were contracted to do ... and I told Andy this ... is not to run wires." As if having previously told some third party who is not present or involved suddenly adds credibility to your statement. I just think its stupid, and I told Trey this, that I had to wake my ass up at 6am every day this week, yeah I'm doin' the controls down in Oak Cliff.

Tomorrow is my father's birthday. I got him the Die Hard trilogy DVDs and a Winnie the Pooh DVD for when Kaylyn visits. They've been collecting Disney movies for years now in the event of a grandchild, but I don't think she's quite ready for an entire plot, and everybody loves Winnie the Pooh. I just wanted to get him something grandpa-ish (assuming he is going by grandpa and hasn't been renamed Paw-Paw or Pee-Pee or Poo-Poo or something). I also decorated his cake tonight after dinner. I watch Martha do it so much that I thought I would be good at it. I spun that cake around as I smoothed out the icing. Then I did a cool pattern with pecans on top and crushed up some pecans and stuck them to the side of the cake. I worked so hard on it and I was so proud of myself. When I stepped back to admire my work, it looked as though it had been done by a retarded third grader. I should just avoid entirely doing anything with my hands. Well...

Tonight should be fun. I'm ready for anything, and I told Ryan this, so we're going to go to a party. Catch you skillets on the flip side.

Damn, it's a nice day outside. 75 degrees and sunny. You couldn't ask for a nicer treat to hang over to on a Saturday. Although instead of enjoying the day, I'm sitting inside cleaning my room and watching Super Troopers. I'm about to go downstairs and heat up my extra taquito from Whataburger this morning. If there's anything better than taquitos, it's taquitos from 11am to 11pm, when regular people can't get one.

If any of you missed it on my away message the other night, [click here] to see a picture of me that I "vectored." Kevin's little sis, Laura, IMed me the other day to show me some pictures she'd done it to and then sent me the tutorial on how to do it. I think it's pretty rad and I am working on something along these lines to be the new SVC layout. We'll see.

Also, [click here] to see the baby announcement my brother made for Kaylyn. It is beyond cute. I can't wait to go down there and see her on Saturday. That's another reminder for all of you College Station peeps. I will be there Friday and Saturday night to party like it's 2003, so be prepared.

I am truly torn here, dear viewers. I sure do hate working, but damn it's nice having money. I guess that's how they trap you, like the buzz you get off of your first cigarette. Once you get used to having that money then you want more, and you have to work more to get it, and next thing you know you have a mortgage, thousand dollar car payment, angina and you're buying smokes by the carton.

I bought a carton of cigarettes the other day. In the five years that I've been smoking, I have rarely ever splurged on a carton of cigarettes. Not so much because I'm cheap (obviously) but because I hate committing to smoking all 10 packs, since I am always on the quest to quit. Well, not any more. I realized I'm wasting like a dollar on every pack I don't buy in a carton and that is stupid. Since I am so incredibly thrifty, right? I just dropped $100 on DVDs at Best Buy. I got some classics that were never in my collection just because everyone else has them. I just finished up Office Space and I may pop in Super Troopers until I fall asleep.

At least tomorrow is a Friday. Not that I have anything to look forward to, it's just inherently relaxing to know that you don't have to wake your ass up at 6am every day this week. I may get drunk, but I have no plans. I think Ben and I will go out and have drinks again since we had such a nice time at the Flying Saucer's Trivia Night the other night. And then Friday Brent is having a party that I was on the e-vite revised list for. That should be fun.

In our next episode, ViD will tell you all about his new notepad. Same Sidesho-Time. Same Sidesho-Channel. (Oooh, my first teaser ... melikes.) Czech you skillets latah.

I hate working. I mean, while I'm there, it's not so bad. Sometimes the hours absolutely drag by and sometimes I'm done before I realized it was getting close to quittin' time. I have another piece of flair the Nazi's make me wear. This one's a cell phone. My whole life I have hated cell phones clipped to belts more than I hate Jessica Simpson (and her little sister now too). But, in keeping with the theme of turning myself into all the things I've always despised, I wear it obligingly. It's way too big to keep in my pocket because its one of those Nextel walkie-talkie things -- which I also hate.

Some other things that suck, and then we'll move on to more fun topics. We're getting this etiquette class three times this week and basically all they needed to do was hand out a piece of paper saying, "David you don't belong here." They presented themselves as this ultra-hip, young cultured company, but now they're impressing on us the need to look like mission control engineers from the 1960's. Fuck that. I'm not taking out my earrings. That's ridiculous. All I do all day is sit in a cubicle. And they keep saying things like, "If you're not married yet, when you do get married you'll want to eat with proper etiquette. And guys especially when you take a girl out." I know that's petty, but they make comments like these all day long constantly ... everyone does. It would be nice to not feel alienated for like five minutes.

So the fun topics I promised: This weekend, my first weekend in Dallas, could not have been better. Ryan S■■■ was having a party Saturday night, and I was on the ol' invite list. I went over to his house early so I could get ready to go out without the criticism of the matriarch. I helped him put lids on the obscene amount of jello shots and then people started showing up. JonS■■■ from College Station just happened to be in town and called me to see if I was doing anything, so I invited him to join me. I was grateful for him being there since I only knew a few cats and it was a little intimidating. There were like 70 queers sardined into Ryan S■■■'s apartment. It was great. But it did get a little stuffy and hot (I should take a look at his HVAC system) so we moved the party to the bars. Starting off at JR's, JonS■■■ and I proceed to drink Pink Cape Cods like they were goin out of style. Then we stumbled over to the Village with a couple strangers and danced and drank some more. Neither of us remember the rest of the night clearly but I think it ended with us buying a shot and not having enough money, so we left.

Not much else of note happened, but hazy stumblings and drunken ramblings with people we did not know. We made it back to Ryan's where he and his brother were waiting for us to take them to ... where else? ... Whataburger! Fantastic. I spent the night at Ryan's cause I'm a lush and my mother didn't want me to drive home if I'd been drinking. I was happy to oblige. The next day we woke up and went to visit Ryan S■■■'s friend, Greg, who lives in Addison Circle, where Ryan thought I might like to live. He was RIGHT! I fell in love. That's totally where I'm moving when I can afford it, which should be shortly. My first paycheck comes tomorrow -- can't fuckin wait. After we ate lunch and toured Greg's apartment we went and met up with Brent to go to a movie. So Ryan, Greg, Brent and I all rode to Stonebriar and met up with Chris Jones to see Stepford Wives, which I did not want to see, but I did want to meet new friends so I went. IT SUCKED. Real bad. Don't see it. Anyway, I just wanted to graciously thank Ryan, Greg, Brent and Chris for such a great time.

So that is what has been going on. Once I move out of my parent's house and get my own dedicated internet connection, I'll probably be more prone to get back into the updating swing of things, but as it is, I have precious little time to plug in and I don't always want to spend it narrating the past. But do keep checking back and emailing me and stuff, all the contact with my former life is a good thing. Peace out, have nots.

Went to IHOP late last night to break my diet. Stuffed french toast was worth every carb. Went to bed watching Waking Life. Good flick. Hard to watch when dozing off at 3:00am. It's a thinking movie, not a drinking movie. Woke up with no cough, good news. Woke up (early, as you can see) with pain in neck and shoulders so intense that sleep is not an option. A hot bath did not alleviate any discomfort. Perhaps some yoga will help. Otherwise agony continues. Hope you have fun in church today, suckers.

I guess everyone wasn't as excited about my flowers as I am. I continue to grow more excited each and every day as they continue to grow. The day that one of them blooms, drink are on me! (No, thats not a typo -- drink are on me!) In other news, Owen and I finished rearranging the living room finally. Everything is at an angle, but they're at different angles. It's very avant-garde. The spaces left in the corners by furniture being at wonky angles allowed me to put a little bit of back lighting, which I think really pulls the whole room together. Yay me.

Last night I went over to David27's to watch a movie with our old friend Michael P■■■. Good times. We watched Party Monster. It was a pretty good movie, I missed the beginning, but if you get a chance to see it I recommend. I brought a bottle of wine as per Mr. P■■■' request, and then he decided he didn't want to drink. But David27 did not have a corkscrew, so using a round thing and a hammer, Michael hammered the cork into the bottle instead of pulling it out. Ingenious. I never would have thought to do so. Why, oh why must I always think inside the box?

I've decided not to return home for jebus's second birthday. I would have to drive there and back all in like one day and I hate doing that. Plus the whole church fiasco will reer its ugly head betwixt the parentals and I. Besides that, I think I am deathly ill. It feels like someone has been standing on my chest for like 2 days now. And I can cough until the cows come home but nothing will come up. Maybe I'll try not smoking and see how that affects things. As it is, pity me! I'm sick! Check you sluts later.

Ahhh, the age old mantra. And this time its no more true than it ever is. I remember thinking to myself, "Wow I haven't eaten a thing all day, maybe I should take it easy." And that's about the last thing I remember. I'll just go ahead and assume that I had fun. One of the things I do after a night like that is immediately check my call history to make sure I did not make any unnecessary conversation. I had one call to Kyle that lasted 10 seconds and then immediately called David27 for another 3. Who knows what that was all about.

By far, the best was the text message that I sent to Brian that I absolutely do not remember sending. He had told me that he was mad at me last night. I think it was because we were supposed to watch Romy and Michele's High School Reunion but I ended up getting too drunk. Anyway, the text message said, "I had the worst dream, Romy. I dreamt that we weren't friends and we were really, really old. But, I mean like we were really, really old. And we weren't friends." My favorite part of it is that it is perfectly formatted as far as spelling, capitalization, and punctuation, which is not easy to do on my phone. It takes me forever to send a text message, much less a grammatically correct one, so who knows how long I spent doing that. No wonder I woke up with my cell phone in the bed.

David27 just dropped by and gave me my keys. Why did he have my keys? I didn't drive. I don't even have my car. I'm so confused.

I'm never drinking again ....

In order to keep up with the foreign exchange program we've got going on, it was College Station's turn to go visit the Dallas kids. Everyone rearranged their work schedules (well, not me cause I have no job or responsibilities) and we decided to leave at noon on Saturday. The crew was comprised of 27, Marshall and Thommi. I said we were absolutely, positively leaving at noon, whether they were there or not, no questions asked, just leaving.

Around noon, I woke up and started getting ready. I had no intentions of leaving at noon, but I figured that setting an early, firm deadline was the only way to get there before midnight. We ended up arriving at Ryan S■■■'s loft around 5:00, which left us enough time to go to the Northpark Mall. I bought this shirt at Guess that is inside out. It's so me. Like, the shirts not inside out, but the material is. I'm in love with the shirt. We got back, visited the quaint little liquor store on the first floor, and then started getting ready. Two really loud girls ended up in tow with us, one was 27's best friend, the other I have no idea. Once we were ready we went to Ryan H■■■■■■'s party.

That was alright, but there sure were a lot of people in one small space and I think he forgot to pay his A/C bill that month cause it was toasty. And we could only smoke on the balcony that is the size of my coffee table. And the boy who was drinking an entire bottle of wine, from the bottle, was talking about his faith in his lord and saviour, jebus christ, and how he never tests him with more than he can handle. An excellent topic to have at a boozefest while endulging in far too much of the sacramental fluids. The cops showed up, shook things up. The plan was to go out to the Village anyway, so it hastened everyone's retreat. Chaos ensued. My clan hopped into someone else's car and were whisked away, leaving me and Ryan's roommate, David, to walk back to Ryan's apartment to get my car and drive ourselves to the club. Charming. To be fair, Ryan did offer us a ride back to the apt but since I was under the impression that we were all going to meet up back there, I said we would just walk. Turns out, that was also our ride to the club.

So I was a little nonplussed by the situation. When we got back to the apartment I saw Marshall walking out and said, 'Wait, where are you going?' 'To the club!' he gleefully replied as he walked out the door. I was drunk enough that I didn't really want to drive, I hate driving (and especially parking) downtown, and David did not want to go ... all of this culminated into this final straw and I proclaimed, 'Fuck 'em. I'm not going.' So I did just that. David and I went to the gas station to get some beer and cigarettes, and we sat and watched movies. David is really cool and has the same sense of humor that I do, and we are never afforded the opportunity to hang out just the two of us, so I had a blast.

I chugged beers all night until I passed out. I don't remember the rest of them getting home, but passing out on Ryan's bed worked out to my advantage cause I didn't have to sleep on the hardwood floors. The next day we went and got smoothies and sandwiches and then made the long drive home. All in all, it was an excellent weekend, and we can't wait to do it again. In fact, it may be next weekend since Clay is coming home from Spain to get his wisdom teeth out and has promised me a bottle of Absinthe. Oh yeah, and I'm off carbs and am no longer blonde.

The onset of Spring Break is upon us, my dear viewers. Shortay! We fend to go to the club and get krunk with Britney. I started off the break by taking a brief jaunt to Austin with some friends. Raul knew of a couple of birthday parties there that we could attend, so we did just that with Marshall (very much against his will) and David27 in tow. After a late start, we made really good time to Austin ... due in no small part to my superior navigation skills.

We stopped off at Jenny's apartment to get ready. It was her birthday party we would eventually end up at. She was very sweet to let us not only take over her bedroom and bathroom on her birthday evening, but spend the night on her floor. After primping, fighting over the hat, and a couple hearty belts of whiskey, we were on our way to our first destination. It was Tracy's 18th birthday, and it was being held at an apartment with a very large enclosure for around 30 mice/gerbil things. I don't know, but there were rodents in the living room ... and an injured baby squirrel in a box. Charming. Chris was there. And despite having called to make sure I was going to be in attendance, seemed less than enthused that I had come. The keg was Shiner but since Marshall doesn't drink beer, he was becoming increasingly despondent, so we had to act fast. Raul, the responsible driver, decided he wanted to get drunk, so 27 was at the helm.

Jenny's party was at a large house with two kitchens. There were green lights everywhere, and a person blowing fire and spinning large sticks on fire in the backyard. He never once caught the damn thing ... sub-par at best. But there was an ample supply of liquor, and we all partook in it greatly. 27 got drunk. It was the first time I'd ever seen him drink enough to get drunk, and let's just say it was interesting. Leslie is coming into town on Friday and he has promised to give us another show on that night. Brandon was party hopping around town during this time and was able to drop off at our party for a little bit to say hello. I haven't seen that kid in damn near a year. He seemed rather pleased to see me as well.

While Marshall, 27 and I got drunk, Raul sobered up to take us home. He would NOT take us to Whataburger on the way home even though it was totally on the way. If you know me, you know that I simply must have a bacon, egg 'n cheese taquito before bed when I'm drunk or heads roll. So 27 and I took the initiative, remembered where it was, and fucking walked there in the middle of the night. It was too much fun. We got a ride home though from two people who were also staying at Jenny's. When we woke up we ate at Macaroni Grill ... well, actually, Raul and Jenny ate. 27, Marshall and I just sat and drew on the table drinking water. I drew a delightful picture of me throwing up with my head in a toilet. I don't think the waitress liked me. The help never has a sense of humor, I swear!

Tonight we're taking it easy. I just woke up in time to watch Arrested Development, the best TV show every made. I think Marshall, Justin and Thommi are on their way over to 27's to watch some movie called Waking Life. I think its a fucked up movie, but who knows, there's a chance I would enjoy it. I'll keep you all posted. If anybody has something ultra fun to do this week, be sure to invite me (and pay for me). Thanks.

I got that outfit I wanted, but when I got home the shirt was fucking huge so I couldn't wear it. We got ready anyway and went to see Starsky and Hutch. I didn't bust out crazy laugh at all but I did laugh constantly through the whole movie. I would suggest it to all of you. The movie ran a little late so we had to call Christopher's to push our reservation back about 20 minutes. We went home and freshened up and then it was off to the restaurant.

Ohhhh emmmm geeee. We started off at the bar enjoying a couple glasses of wine while we waited for our table to be ready. There was a live jazz trio that was pretty cool. Our table was ready after only a short wait so we took a seat. We were so prim and proper all sitting up with correct posture and everything. It was so fun. Allison ordered the mediterranean salmon and I had a duck breast in a blueberry sauce. Holy fuck. You can't imagine how wonderful the food was. It came with all kinds of vegetable sides -- mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, some kind of greens, rice, and these little sweet potato crispy things. That's all I can remember. Needless to say it was fucking decadent. We also treated ourselves to a bottle of 2000 Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon. It was definitely not the cheapest bottle available, but not nearly the most expensive either. Delicious! Just when we thought we couldn't eat another byte, they had to bring around the dessert cart. A raspberry chocolate truffle?! Give me a break. I will do anything for raspberries. It was incredible. Allison's said "Happy Birthday from Christopher's" in chocolate around the edge of the plate. Very classy. Thank you for taking me, Allison!

We could barely move after the meal was over. Allison was out for the count, going home to go to bed, but I had social obligations. I was supposed to go that concert with Marshall. Unfortunately, I was too full to do anything. David27 came over and I slowly but surely got ready to go out. Sometime after midnight we finally ended up at Halo, had a few drinks, met up with Marshall, Sonia and Chevy, and then went home.

When we got home Owen was complaining that someone in the parking lot was playing Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" entirely too loud, so me and 27 went to tell them to shut up. It was two girls jammin out in a car after coming from Northgate. As it turned out, it was Erin, the girl that I got into an accident with in my parking lot. She was with her friend Courtney and they invited us to go back to Erin's apartment to party with them. She lives in the apartment like next to mine but upstairs. It was so close. We took some beer with us and sat on her porch drinking and smoking cigarettes and bullshitting. They were so cute and fun. They said they want to go out with us tonight to Halo and I'm totally going to invite them. I will have to let you all know how that turns out. Ryan S■■■ is currently en route to College Station with 3 Dallas boys in tow. Tonight is sure to be crazy. More on that, after this....

This Friday is uber special. First off, I didn't go to class this morning. While there may be ramifications dealing with this oversight at a later date, it sure did make today more fun. So I just rolled out of bed at like 2pm and took a bubble bath. I spoil myself so. Now that I'm all clean, Thommi just asked me to go work out with him. Whatev, just an excuse to take another bath. Then we're gonna go to the mall and get me this new outfit I want that was out of my size when I last looked. So I'll be lookin fly tonight because ...

Tonight is my date with Allison for her birthday. She got her hair did and got a new outfit to wear. So we're both gonna be lookin spiffy. And we're going to Christopher's on someone else's tab. Wahoo. But before we go to dinner, we're going to go see Starsky and Hutch. Oh shit, I just realized I'm gonna be cuttin it close here with the time. Oh well. After the movie we're going to the Groove with Marshall to see Skyler Blue ... some local band that a guy he works with is in. They're supposed to be pretty good. Good enough for me to waste a cover charge to go see them, thats for sure.

Anyway, I hope you are all having as wonderful of a day as I am. It's not easy bein the Sidesho ... but somebody's gotta do it. Peace out, have nots!

I am so lucky. I'll give you twenty-seven guesses as to why but you'll only need one. These past couple weeks have been some of the best in recent memory. It's nice to have a constant partner in crime who likes to sit and watch home improvement shows and smoke too many cigarettes. I'll rip your face off and chop it in a million pieces.

In other news, Allison made reservations for us to eat at Christopher's on Friday. For those of you from out of town, Christopher's is the only nice restaurant in like a 100 mile radius. I'm really excited cause I've never eaten there before. Her parents said we could go eat there as a birthday present. Get excited! Then she bought tickets for us to see Starsky and Hutch but I already promised Marshall I would go see this band play at the Groove. We're gonna have to remedy that situation. I talked to Marshall and he was cool with it even though he said he wouldn't be if I tried to back out. But whateryagonnado? For my graduation Allisons parents are gonna pay for us to eat at Messina Hof. How fun is that? Maybe I should remind my parents that they didn't get Allison a graduation present and see if we can go to P.F. Changs in Houston or something.

I really want to go shopping before all the boys from Dallas get here on Saturday but I doubt I'm gonna have a chance. Ryan S■■■ had so much fun during his night here out at Halo that he convinced like 10 of his friends from Dallas to come down and stay in a motel and get shitcanned College Station style. We're gonna be sure to show them how we do. Chevy is coming into town on unrelated business so I'm sure she (and hopefully Ms. Sonia as well) will join us in our revelry. If anybody else wants to join in just let me know. I'm planning on drinking on Saturday from about 7pm until about 5am. Which means this one will be on beer all night as to monitor my alcohol intake, since Aaron always tries to kill me and almost always nearly succeeds.

It's like 5am and Im just now starting to get to bed. Shouldn't have taken that nap tonight after waking up at 2pm. Oh well, I had fun doing it ... SO fun. Catch you sluts lata.

I'm sitting in my apartment listening to my heart attempt to jump out of my chest. I'm pretty freaked out because someone just tried to open my front door. I never lock the door, but just so happened to do it tonight. Thank jebus. Justin is on his way over here so I can get some peace of mind and have a looksee outside. As it stands right now I'm too scared to look. I thought blogging might put my mind at ease. There is much to talk about, and I shall type it in between paranoid perceptions of twigs snapping beneath imagined burgler's boots.

Friday night was Boys 'n Beads, the Mardi Gras party. Marshall had spent the few previous days making masks out of stolen supplies from Hobby Lobby. I knew Marshall was crafty, but damn, I was impressed with his skills with the feathers and glue. The one I made looked like a retarded 3rd grader had done it. He fixed it a little bit for me. I still looked like Ms. Finch from Follow That Bird. It all paid off cause Marshall won 3rd place in the costume contest and was awarded a 50 dollar bar tab, which you just know I was all over. I ended up getting way too drunk, as I always do. Excess is my middle name. There was much dancing, much revelry, much too much vodka in my drinks. Sometimes I think Aaron, the bartender, derives some sick pleasure from watching me get wasted. Luckily our pal David#27 was there, and sober, and driving, and took care of me. I passed out as soon as I got home and woke up hungover like a muthafucka. It's all good though because I got to wear my new hangover mask from Bed, Bath & Beyond. It's this gel mask that you put in the fridge. Omega, it was heavenly. Made my hangover an absolutely enjoyable experience.

Skip ahead to Saturday. Marshall's bar tab awaited us, so we got dolled up and went out again. Why on earth do I drink like I do? It's so stupid. I'm drinking double vodka and vodkas and accepting shot after shot. We had to pull over again this weekend so yours truly could nearly roll out of the car whilst vomiting. Again, I passed out as soon as I got home. In other news, someone had spread the word that the afterparty was at my place. Wrong. Owen got woken up and had to tell them all to leave. I felt bad about that, even though it kind of in a way wasn't my fault. Moderation. Someday I will learn it.

Justin just left after we made sure no one was outside my apartment. I still have the door locked and the chain on. Seeing as how its almost 3 and I'm never gonna get up for class tomorrow, I don't think I'll even set my alarm. I'm just gonna read and then fall asleep. I've decided to re-read Clan of the Cave Bear for the umpteenth time. Watching the movie just totally put me in the mood. You should all get a copy and read it cause it's the best story ever. Alright, peace out, you have-nots, and stop fucking trying to open my front door.

Ahh, what a week this has been. I haven't been to class all week. I place the blame squarely on jesus. I did make it to yoga today though, because as you all know, I do not miss yoga for any reason. Now I'm back on my signiture couch vegging out. I'm watching T3 again. I watched it last night with Raul, Tommy and David, but we didn't really pay attention. It has been out from Blockbuster for SO long now, but it's on Tommy's account so no worries here. I really should get it back at some point. We also watched Circuit. Believe it or not, I didn't like this movie despite the title. There wasn't one integrated circuit, resistive network, soldering iron, or pc board in the entire movie.

Today after yoga this girl came up to me and said, 'Hey do you ever hang out at Revolutions.' And by god, I do. She said she recognized my hair from the other weekend and wanted to tell me that she liked it. I hawked it today for the first time since the bleach incident. I've been kind of scared to put a flat iron to it in fear that it would just melt off.

Since the incident I've been doing just about everything I can to get my hair back to ... well, hair status. First I bought some shampoo and conditioner specifically designed for bleached, fried hair. That's helping a little bit. Then I did a protein pack on it, that was really good, I might need to buy a couple more of those. Finally, I got some Infusium leave in conditioner. All of this together, Pesci willing, will give me back the hair I once had. Wish me luck, have-nots. Back to T3...

Can I just say, I LOVE not having a job. And yeah, yeah, yeah, one of you fuckheads is gonna bring it up, "But what are you gonna do for money?" Well I don't care. I hate money. That's why I'm always trying to get rid of it so fast. Anyway, my school day ended at 10:00. How awesome is that. I was awake and had the whole day with nothing to do.

So the first thing I did was take a nap. Then I went and bought a book I don't want for a hundred bucks. Then I went to HobLob to hob knob with Marshall and buy a picture frame. Then I went to Academy Sports and Outdoors and bought a yoga kit. So now I have my own mat, strap, and blocks to play with. I also rearranged my bedroom so I have room to yogate in. I wanted to go see Blue October tonight over at the Tap (yes, I was actually willing to go to the Tap) but when I went to see if tickets were on sale this afternoon, they were sold out.

So as soon as Tommy got out of class and I got out of my bubble bath, I headed over to his place to go work out. I'm not sure what happened, but in between the time he got up from the chair to go put his workout pants on and the time he got back to the living room, I feel sound asleep. I've never fallen asleep so fast and so deep. It was crazy. I woke up a while longer and we went and worked out (apparently it was family night at the rec) and then sat in the hot tub. Then we went to see Butterfly Effect.

Holy crap. As you can see, on a scale of 1 to Incredible, I've rated it incredible. I was a bit apprehensive about Ashton in a serious role but he knocked this one outta the park. This movie was like woah. You've got to see it asap. I'm not even lying. If you disagree with me, you are wrong. I can't even really talk about it cause I'm still digesting. Me and Tommy were both blown away by it. Wow. Now I have to go to bed, even though my bed is possessed, but that's another story for another post. Good night!

I cured that whole problem with sobriety last night. Leslie and I went to dinner at the Outback. My steak was so rare and delicious. I'm getting misty thinking about it again. Anyway, we had a bottle of wine with dinner and it was so good that Leslie decided we needed to drink wine. Since 'moderation' is a word that exists in none of our vocabularies, we went ahead and bought 18 bottles of wine, and then set about trying to finish them off. We got on the horn and invited a few people over. According to eye witness testimony, I passed out around 2am. I know that somewhere around 5, I randomly awoke, popped up off the floor, drank some more with the people who were still around, and then went to bed around 7.

For my alcoholic apptitude, I was awarded with a massive wine hangover. Tommy, Leslie, and I went to lunch at Olive Garden and it was all I could do to keep from hurling as my lasagna sat on a plate in front of me. To make it even worse, Leslie was drinking wine. We only polished off 12 bottles the night before, so when we got home, her and Tommy set to drinking again. I couldn't. I had to fall asleep in the recliner for a while. Then we watched Uptown Girls. You have got to see this movie, it was so excellent. I fucking loved it. I'm gonna watch it again tomorrow. Well then people came over and brought with them ... you guessed it ... 10 bottles of wine. Omega. I could not bring myself to drink, and stayed sober the entire night. All I had was 2 glasses of water.

In other news, if you have tried to call me in the past couple of days you might have noticed that my phone is dead. It ran out of battery like two days ago, and I left my charger over at Aaron's apartment when we were getting ready one night, and now he left town until Thursday. I was able to break into his apartment and get a shirt I left over there, but I forgot to grab my phone charger. Long story short, I hate my phone so much anyway, and I'm not gonna miss any important calls, so I'm not worried about the charger. I'll get it when I get it. Hope it hasn't been too much of a hassle for anyone. If it is, you should have been IMing me anyway. It is way past time for bed now. Peace out home fries.

Remind me never to go out sober again. God, what a dumb thing to do. It was still fun, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't like riotous fun like usual. And all my friends were drunk, which is fine by me, I'm hardly one to complain, but motivating drunk people to do anything (i.e. leave the bar) is next to impossible. So we didn't end up getting home until like 3am and then we watched Splash. What a good movie.

In other news, I had the most delightful email the other day that truly made me feel special. It was from none other than our good friend Dennis DiClaudio. You might recognize his name from the Grammar Cop section of my website. I don't know how he found me, but he did and he sent me this message:

hi,
just wanted to email you quickly and let you know how honored i am that you've quoted me on your website. when i found that, i went around smiling for three days straight.
thanks a lot,
dennis diclaudio

How cool is that? I would email him back and let him know, but I still don't have outgoing email. I could totally get my outgoing POP server information from the people who do our internet here, but I am far too lazy and they are far too inept to even deal with. I hate email anyway. I think Leslie and I are going to go to the mall and return some shit and then meet up with Justino to chaw on some steaks. You all wish you were me. Ciao suckers.

Well I'm back in College Station for a couple of days taking a sabatical from the holiday cheer of Plano. I was there for 3 days and that was enough for me. The first thing I did was put in my fake lip ring for when I first arrived. My mother went absolutely ballistic over it so I immediately had to reveal the joke whereas I had planned on wearing it all day. That kinda let some of the air out of my balloons, but it was still funny.

The next big fight was when I dared to walk down the stairs with my fauxhawk rawkin. My mother blew another gasket. She sure doesn't know how to pick her battles. Its not like we had company or anything, I was just going to sit around the house. So that was fun. I went upstairs and played guitar until my brother came home and took me with him to B&N. Oh speaking, the big news, I am going to be an uncle. Rachel, Stephen's wife, produced a couple sonogram pictures of the baby in her tummy. Thats exciting for us, even though she won't be able to participate in the booze cruise.

On Christmas we didn't exchange gifts, which, I gotta tell you, was the best Christmas I ever had. No shopping, no worrying, no wrapping, no fighting crowds ... just a family gettin together to play cards and drink liquor. I had my first taste of Courvoisier, and second, third, fourth, and fifth. I'd have to say I was a big fan. We played some Oh, Hell with everybody, ate some desserts with family friends and then went to bed.

The next day I went to see JennyC■■■ and her family. That's always fun. Then I went downtown to hang out with Ryan S■■■. We rode the rails to the Angelika Theater ... a new experience for me, v. classy. Then we ate at the cafe and saw 21 Grams. Worst movie ever ... don't go see it. Even though the movie was awful, I had a wonderful time. The next morning I woke up and drove home. And here I am. I spent last night drinking Coronas and Keystones with Josh 'n Tommy cause there was nothing else to do and nowhere else to go. It was fun.

Just thought I would fill you all in since I've been rather sparse in the updates in comparison to usual. I will be leaving tomorrow for the cruise and you won't hear from me until after the new year, so I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful new year full of drunken spirits and sloven kisses. Cheers!

Last night I spent the better part of the evening making pajama pants for Josh. He went with me to Hobby Lobby a while back so I could get some fabric to piece back together a pair of jeans I tore up when I was drunk, the same pair given to me by MattyK after I ripped them up for him (also while drunk). So Josh sees two prints of Dr. Seuss fabric and I mention that I can turn it into pajama pants, but he can't decide on the green or the blue. He ended up getting both, and I fashioned them so one leg is green and the other is blue. You know I have an affinity for asymetrical clothing. They are so kickass. I want to keep them for myself. As soon as he gets his skinny ass over here to try them on so I can make them the right size and length, I'll get a picture of him wearing them for you all. I am too crafty for my own good.

So this took me up until about 2am, at which point I realized I was never going to be able to get up for my 8:00. I haven't been since the last test that I waxed, so I figured I would drop in for the supposed review. Owen was already planning on staying up until class so I decided to do the same. Monkey see, monkey do. But I was bored and drifting so I decided to drive out to Boob's house and join the SideshoGang in their revelry for the night. We had a good time, watched some movies like Ellen Degeneres's stand up. Way too funny. Everyone was passing out around 5 but I knew that I could not join in. Rick was pissed the TV was still on and Kyle was telling me to turn it off as well. So I did, and I laid down, but I did long division in my head to stay away. I took 1/31 out to like 10 decimal places. HA!

I managed, somehow, to stay awake and left to get ready for class around 7. I showered and got on the bus and arrived a little early. Owen and I were joined by two other guys in our class of like 50 people, and around 8:10 realized that we probably had a walk that neither of us had heard about. Thanks for giving me the heads up, if any bitches in my class are reading this. Preciate that. So I came home with every intention of going to work, but instead my head hit the pillow and I was out for the count until about 2 when James called. We went and had a little good clean fun and now here I am again. I'm actually on my laptop right now. I decided to go ahead and install Windows XP Home instead of digging around for my XP Pro CD since my PC has decided to freeze every time I send and instant message now, and I was feeling quite unplugged.

Tonight I have to start getting serious about school work and make a cheat sheet for my control systems exam. That is going to be a doozy. I have two exams on Friday and I have got to find my way into work somehow during this week or I'm gonna get fired. I also need to go buy a turkey today or its not going to be thawed by the time Thanksgiving rolls around. I hope none of you are forgetting about Thanksgiving. It is this Wednesday (as in two days from now) and I'm shooting for around 7pm. That way, we can gorge and then get drunk, and Thursday is a dead day. Good plan eh? Not many people have RSVP'ed ... in fact, none have ... so if you think are coming, I would appreciate an IM. You can come regardless, but it would be nice to know how many people to expect. Even if its just me, I won't care. I'll just eat the turkey with my hands like a caveman. I've always wanted to do that.

I had planned on going to dinner with Marshall last night and then hanging out, but he ended up being 3 hours late, and Dustin and Trey were on their way to see The Matrix, so I decided to join them. I don't know what all the negative hype about this movie is all about. I thought it was fukken badass. Granted, I am easily impressed with fancy special effects, wire tricks, and kung fu, but gimme a break, that was so awesome. The fight between Agent Smith and Neo was so out of control I can hardly think about it. Anyone who cries about the plot or the 'eastern philosophy' is a big whiny baby who should be banned from movies as cool as this anyway. They were fighting so fast that the rain couldn't even hit them. Yeah, you thought it was rain.

If I talk about it anymore, I'm going to reveal too much and I don't want to spoil a movie as good as this for anybody else. Chances are, I'll be going to see it again a few times.

On another note, plans for Thanksgiving have changed. It turns out everyone and their dog is going to be out of town for Thanksgiving. Mostly because no one is going to the game. This dude wrote into the Battalion today yelling at the 12th Man (AGAIN, what is up with this resurgence of uber Aggies this year?) about how so many people were selling their sports passes. I had to laugh ... all the way to the bank, that is. I sold mine for $60. Like I give a shit. I'd much rather have the cash. Anyway, so no one is going to be in town for my Thanksgiving, and I do it right, so I don't want anyone to miss out. Also, AllieD invited me to join her family for dinner so they could get it catered by Luby's. It should be delicious and stress free. Throw in a little booze and you've got a right proper Turkey Day.

I've been watching Thanksgiving Week on Food Network and it is so awesome. I think this year I'm going to make my own stuffing. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I'm still having my own Thanksgiving, just not on that day. As you all well know, I am so cool that I can have Thanskgiving whenever the fuck I want. So maybe a week or two after the real deal, we'll have my shindig. I'll keep you all posted. Now, go get drunk.

I saw Kill Bill (vol 1). This is the movie where Britney Spears dresses up like Bruce Lee and fights with swords. I have yet to enjoy a "Quintin Tarrentino" movie that I've seen, so it shouldn't surprise me that I didn't appreciate Kill Bill. However, I will say that there were many, many redeeming qualities that I hope and pray some filmmaker I enjoy will steal and use. Fighting in the dark with nothing but shadows -- very cool. Excellent wire effects. Great soundtrack, all fights should be set to cool music. On the negative side: ridiculous amounts of gore ... I got a little queasy at a couple parts. Anime is not cool, not even when you try to be artsy about it. That's my official review. It was worth the money, but just barely.

I spent yesterday running around town putting together my Halloween costume with Allison. We're doing the themed thing again. As soon as I'm done sewing, we'll take a picture and I'll throw it up here. Until then, hold your breath.

Have I said lately how much I enjoy Martha Stewart. She is so great. And truth.com ads drive me to smoke more. Not surprising that they are funded by Phillip-Morris. Smart people working there. Evil, but smart.

Lastly, I got a shoutout from the past today that absolutely made my day. Anytime people tell me they read my webpage (which has been happening a lot lately, I'm starting to blush) it makes my day, but this one was from my old elementary school flame.

MissyHo12: i just had to give a shout out to my boyfriend for 3-5th grade. wanted to let you know that i frequent your website and find it laugh out loud hysterical! thought i'd say and let you know that! take care

I took a midterm today that I think I bombed. That sucked and it was very stressful. My boss is in China for a week now so I have yet to make it to work this week. And I'm broke. Like absolutely broke. That is all I have to update you on for now. Viva la vid.

I had two goals for this weekend. First, I wanted to get really, really drunk. Not a problem. My other goal was to accomplish absolutely nothing. Its a hard goal to accomplish because you're never really sure when you've finished it, but I know that I did it because of a little thing I've dubbed the couch-a-thon.

They kind of went hand-in-hand because my fabulous hangover kept me from wanting to do anything. I woke up on the couch the next morning and proceded to drink dr. peppers and lie about. I spent the whole day watching food network until Josh IMed me and said he was going to make some sloppy joes. He just lives two seconds away, so I actually got up and went over there. But dont' worry, because all i did was lay down on his couch. We saw the coolest show on ABC called Swapped or Switched or something like that. Check it out.

I went home after that and laid down on the couch until Allison called. We ventured briefly to Blockbuster but it smelled like ass in there so we went to Hastings. I bought The Transporter and 8 Mile on VHS cause they were cheap. So we went to Allison's to watch The Transporter and I laid down on her couch. As soon as that was over, back to my couch I went, and chatted with Neumann until 6am. I haven't talked to that guy in like 4 years, so that was a little surreal but cool. I slept on the couch, and its now 3pm and I'm still here.

If you all had pledged a nickel for every hour I could sit on a couch ... well, I'd have a shitload of nickels. So who is proud of me?

Last night I decided I needed a proper meal, so I coerced Owen into going to Outback Steakhouse with me. Holy shit, it was the best meal I've ever had. I got this $25 steak, and it was rare, and fatty, and bloody ... and oh my god. I still get happy when I think about it now. It was dead on what I was looking for. It reminded me of the scene in the Matrix where Cypher is meeting with Agent Smith and has the red wine, and red steak, and cigar. Only I had a bigass Coors light, red steak and a cigarette. It was absolutely incredible. Some day I will eat like that every day.

In other news, I have a few humorous stories that I should probably spread over the next few days when I run out of things to talk about, but I just can't wait and I don't want to forget them.

The other day I saw an American flag bumper sticker that said, "These colors don't run. Never have. Never will." And it was completely faded by the sun.

This sorority bitch on the bus this morning was talking on her cell phone entirely too loud (like they always do) and said to her friend, "I don't know how half the people got into this university much less to the point they are at. Charles was a softmore in college and didn't know how to do a bibliography. Can you believe it? A SOFTMORE! A SOFTMORE in college and he didn't know." And no, children, I'm not the idiot here, I'm typing it exactly how she was saying it. Very clear with the T.

I was walking behind two girls on campus today after yoga, and eavesdropping as I often do. And they were talking about Jesus. Only it was the weirdest conversation about Jesus I had ever heard before. They were saying things like, "We had Jesus at our party," and, "Jesus everywhere." So I kept listening trying to figure out what kind of whacko Christians these were. It wasn't until I overheard her say, "Yeah, we had them all ... Cheddar, Provolone, Swiss..." that I realized I was an idiot with a hearing problem.

As a general rule, for those of you not currently aware of the situation, if it is raining outside, I'm not in a good mood. I appreciate the fact that some people find the rain romantic, or like curling up inside their dry, warm beds and listening to the rain hit the roof and somehow derive pleasure from this. But I am not one of those people. Rain is a hassle. For starters, it gets everything wet, including me ... at 7:30am. That's never cool. I also don't appreciate auxiliary noises and lights. If I want to fall asleep to the sound of rain, I will buy a noise machine, thank you very much.

I was supposed to go over to Clay's house last night to watch Chicago. I only bought the damn thing a month ago and I still haven't broken the cellophane. But, then it started raining, which puts a hold on every plan imaginable, unless my plan is to get wet and cold and muddy, then rain is a good thing. I ended up opting to lay on the couch and drink a beer while watching The Daily Show. Which led to passing out hardcore while laying on the couch drinking a beer while watching the Daily Show. I woke up somewhere around midnight and then went to bed.

I'm attempting to get Dustin and Trey to go out with me tonight. I always have a good time when I hang out with those two. We'll see what happens. Now I'm going to go employ my yoga techniques and try to exhale some of this animosity to avoid being a malcontent towards the weather. Laaaaaaaate.

I'm about to save you all a lot of money, and keep you from wasting precious hours of your day. I have several hints to throw your way (Heloise style -- except these are actually applicable). The first deals with a movie that was released today called Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde.

Whatever you do, do not go see this movie. Under no circumstances should anyone pay to view this trash. If I had to pick one word to describe it, I would have to politely decline the proposition in favor of a slew of slurs. And it goes like this: This movie was trite, cheezy, slapstick crap. It was nonsequitor, unbelievable, and completely contrived. The characters were 2-dimensional props without brains whose decisions and feelings were unfounded and motivations unclear. Their main source of comedy was sexism, gay bashing, and all around stereotypes. The plot, albeit thin and patched together, managed to hold together long enough to suck throughout the entire length of the film. At one point I desperately tried to fall asleep, and at another, I completely had to leave the theater for a breather from the idiocy.

I may sound exceedingly critical of this light hearted movie, but there is a reason. I loved the first installment of this storyline. I thought the characters were great, and the idea behind it: to overcome adversity by being yourself, was a great message. Part 2 had none of this. No characters, no adversity, no message, no nothing. Absolute cinematic crap. I reiterate: Under no circumstances should anyone ever pay to see this movie.

The next 3 advisories deal with restaurants in College Station. After the lackluster theater experience, Allison and I decided to hit up a new restaurant to change the course of the evening. We began with Ozona Ranch. I don't have a huge complaint about that place except that the menu sucked. We sat, perused the selections, bitched about how the menu sucked, and then excused ourselves.

We headed to the new Mexican restaurant that now occupies the location that no restaurant can stay alive in for more than a couple of months. I don't remember the name of it. We walked in to be faced with a large sign at the front door that says, 'We are not responsible for lost or stolen items.' As if that isn't a red flag that this place is just a tad shady. So, while holding my wallet, we walked in and asked for a menu. Without even having to read it we knew we wanted to leave. There was a stereotypical Mexican man with a sombrero playing god awful Tejano music on a keyboard to entertain the guests. Not gonna do it. Especially when I'm already running the risk of being robbed.

So ... we walked over to Karrie's Stacked Enchiladas. Great food. Don't get me wrong. Really enjoyed the food. The staff, however, dear friends, left much to be desired. The hostess was hopped up on something. God knows what, but she would not leave us the hell alone. The bus boy kept trying to take Allison's plate before she was done eating so he could sneak a peak (all so slyly) at her breasts. I asked a waitress for a straw, and she all but fisted it into my drink for me, to which my response was to take it out and place it delicately on the ground. The manager was creepy. And another waiter wouldn't stop sprinting around the restaurant to bring people drinks and food. Good effort, but it kept making me think the building was on fire. Long story short, I'll never go to this place ever again.

So there you have it. You are very welcome. I save you money, I save you time. Tomorrow we depart for the river, and then Saturday night we will be partying like rockstars in downtown Austin. If any of you are going to be in the area, let me know. Ciao bellos.

Oh man, was Thanksgiving ever delicious. It turned out to be an awesome meal and even better company. Lets recap. I came home early from work to prepare the turkey and get it in the oven. Allisons stayed at my house to keep an eye (and a nose) on it while I went back to work to finish up for the day. When I got home, I smelled the turkey and got prepared for the other dishes. I was also responsible for the scratch macaroni and cheese. Its an old favorite of mine that my mom makes, so you know it contains mostly Velveeta. I also made the salad. And by "made" I mean I cut the bag open.

Allison was the champion of the evening being responsible for the most dishes. She made green bean casserole, candied yams, boxed mashed potatoes, gravy, and pumpkin pie. They were all delicious. Will showed up with a fancy schmancy loaf of bread that was enjoyed by all. Owen contributed a bottle of cabernet saviougne (or however the hell you spell that, I just tried to make it look French). The wine was a big success and his job of seasoning the mashed potatoes was not overlooked, even though the potatoes would have been better suited as an industrial strength adhesive than a side dish. Joseph also contributed a bottle of wine -- he was rawkin' the Hof. Once he decided to share we all enjoyed it very much. AllieD beefed up the dessert with some homemade brownies that I am still enjoying on a regular basis. She made way too many, but as long as I've got milk, I'm not complaining. Finally, there was Cappy who brought the cranberry sauce at the last minute to save the day after Joseph really dropped the ball.

After we all stuffed ourselves to excess, discussed our favorite pies, and finished off the wine, I headed up to Kroger with Owen to get another 30 Stones. When we got back, Allison popped in Old School and we drank and watched the movie. Next thing you know, the fuckin fridge is empty and I'm drunk. Who woulda thought. The crowd dispersed and I passed out ready to face another day hungover. I would have to say that last night was a blast and I can't wait to do it again the next time Thanksgiving rolls around (and who knows when that will be). Thank you to everyone who brought something and I will see the rest of you have nots ... on the flip side.

Sorry for the Dave Matthew's Band reference in the title, it was all that came to mind when I was trying to title a blog that I had so much to say in. Don't get me wrong, I like Dave Matthew's one song, I just don't think he should have been allowed to release it 15 times. Anyway, I haven't blogged in a really long time which means that half of the things I really wanted to tell you about are going to have to fall by the wayside.

I went to Dallas last weekend and had an absolute blast. I went shopping with Allison. She needed to pick up some make up. That was totally fun. I bought some rad new pants that I just debuted at Northgate on Thursday to rave reviews. I also got my hair cut and colored. I'm now the proud owner of black highlights. Who gets black highlights? No one does, thats crazy talk.

Work has been going well. I work long hours and have been fairly productive as of late. The gravity sickness is starting to go away and I'm actually kind of getting used to the space food. The strawberry dried ice cream isn't as bad as the vanilla that I'd been eating. I have to do a spacewalk next week that I'm a little nervous about but it shouldn't be too bad.

Brandon just came in town this past week as well as this afternoon. He was subleasing his apartment for the summer and had to fill out some paper work on both of those days. We went to go see Finding Nemo with Allison. I highly recommend. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Of course I also cried, but what movie do I not cry in, am I right? We saw a preview for a new Will Ferrel movie where he's an elf. If you get the chance to see the preview the movie looks absolutely hilarious. Its coming out in November.

Damnit, I know there are way more things I wanted to talk about but they'll just have to wait or be omitted because I'm sick of typing. I haven't been very dedicated to the blog as of late and the numbers are starting to suffer, but fret not, this happens like every summer. Soon enough we'll be back to the daily blog fest and you will all be able to satiate your insatiable appetites for all things ViD. Have a great weekend. LAaaaaaaaaate

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Man, a lot has happened since I visited you last. I apologize for the hiatus, but I've been keeping pretty busy at work. Yes, I have a job. I'm doing some work for this company called NASA. They're like an aerospace company based out of Houston or something. The important thing is that they're giving me money! And its to do what I love doing best ... reading technical documentation and designing real time control systems. Yay! So that takes up my 8 to 5's. I'm about to start bucklin down and really churning out some results.

I had also planned this summer to work out every day. But as it turns out, the fucking rec center closes at 8pm every day, a time that is not convenient for yours truly. I already paid for the summer though, so whenever I get a free chance during their regular business hours, I'm going to sneak over there and argue with them and try to get my money back and take my business over to Gold's so I can actually get started on this workout routine. I did get my haircut though, that was another part of my plan, so check out the new webcam shot and compliment me.

I did manage to have some fun last week in between working. Like on Wednesday, Brandon called me in the morning to tell me that all of his hours got cut from work so he had the day off. Just then, my boss told me he was heading to Dallas for the day ... coincidence? I think not. So I hopped in the car and drove to Austin. Brandon's family just got a new house thats right on some river that feeds off of (or into?) Lake Travis. So it was like a 5 minute drive over to the Lake where we spend the day swimming and laying out in the sun in this field. I really felt like I was in a Country Time Lemonade commercial. It was much more fun than working, I'll tell you that much. I ended up leaving the next day cause I was too tired and lazy to drive home in the dark. Fantastic time.

I also managed to sneak over to Northgate a couple of times. It's been rather mundane what with everyone being out of town, but its still fun to sit and drink and chit chat with friends and strangers. In fact, I might try to find someone to go out with me tonight. I'm in the mood for a good hangover.

But, my friends, most importantly, lets talk about a little flick we call The Matrix: Reloaded. I'm not evil enough to divulge any of the plot on this website, but I am able to tell you that if I were to choose two words to describe it, they would be infuckingcredible and unfuckingbelievable. This movie is so damn good, just like I always knew it would be. I saw it last night for the first time with Ryan. And then today me and Owen were looking for an apartment. First we got hungry, so we ate, and then I started talking about the movie so we went to go see it. So we didn't find a place to live, but we did get to see the Matrix, so that makes it all worth while. I might go see it again tonight if no one will go out drinking with me. Oh my god its so fucking good. Go see it now so we can talk about it. And if you've seen it, IM me and we'll discuss. Okay, hope everyone's having a great summer, don't forget to check in with me from time to time. Laaaaaaaaaaaate.

In the words of the great Albert Einstein, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank god almighty, free at last!" Boy if the words of the greatest American ever don't just sum it up, I don't know what does. I am done with finals, done with grading, done with it all. Now its on to the summer. I will tell you all about it, but first I wanted to introduce something my good buddy Joseph sent me called the Shizzolator. It will translate any page into how Snoop Dogg would say it. (http://www.asksnoop.com) The rest of the blog I am going to write in Shizzolator style.

So I'm pretty sho that I gots A's in izzall of my major courses this semester n' shit. It's chemistry that's really going fuck me up n' shit. I don't think there's any way I could has gotten lower than a C in there but I would really rather has a B. I doubt there's any way I can make an A either n' shit. Regardless of what happens, that shiznit is really over this time." None of this hard work over da summer shit n' shit. I am getting an internship wit da space center in College Station, though, 'n that's going take up a lot of my time, methinks, know what I'm sayin'? I am bound 'n determined start my workout program on Monday though n' shit. I also need stretch a lot this summer so I won't be completely embarassed in my yoga class next semester, know what I'm sayin'?

Oh yeah, 'n Keith moved out 'n some brizzle moved in n' shit. I came crib one day 'n Keith's room is izzall girly 'n there brizzle wuz n' shit. She like hosted a dinner party tonight, I dunno, know what I'm sayin'? I wuz too busy seeing X-Fools 2, which wuz fucking badass, just in case yo' ass wanted know n' shit. I recommed everyone go see X-Fools now! I also seen da fucking trailer fo' The Matrix n' shit. Thus far I've avoided that shiznit, but that shiznit wuz right there in front of me 'n I couldn't look away, know what I'm sayin'? I had scream a few expletives during that shiznit, know what I'm sayin'? That move is going change my life forever, 'n I'm frightened by da prospect, know what I'm sayin'?

So this week I really don't has anything lined up." If yo' ass're staying in town fo' da summer, hit me up 'n we can arrange some weekly boozing sessions or something." Oh, one a footnote, happy birthday Eric G■■■■ two turned da big ass 23 this Wednesday n' shit. Always nice celebrate a bday wit a fellow Northgate regular n' shit. Excelsior! I'll see yo' ass izzall on da flip siiiiide n' shit.

I am back in College Station, folks, and I have to say ... it appears as though nothing has changed. I had a good time on my impromptu semi-annual Spring Break tour of Texas. I'd like to take you on a journey now, if I might. A journey through my week.

I arrived in Austin on Sunday evening and first went to JennyC■■■'s friend's house. Her name was Lindsey and she actually lived up in Pfluggerville, just north of Austin. Its not half as fun to be there as it is to say the name. We ended up playing Speed Scrabble for half the night. Pearl and Matt P■■■, two friends from high school, were supposed to be in town to take me out and show me a good time in Austin, but when I called them to see what the dillyo, they were in Houston and not coming back anytime soon. So I was stranded in Pfluggerville. Believe it or not, with very little prodding, I actually convinced JennyC■■■ to go to 6th Street with me. Several things about this make it amazing. First, Jenny doesn't drink or party and had never even been to 6th street despite being a t-sip. Secondly, Jenny is a staunch Mormon these days and generally separates herself from situations ... situations that I call "my life," for instance. Thirdly, this was a Sunday night, the day that should be spent feeling shame and remorse, not having fun.

However I did it, though, I managed to cajole her out to the bars. First we headed to Shadow Lounge or something to that effect. We went there because Steve-o was hanging out in Austin and I was gonna hang out with him. When we walked in though, there was a shadow of a girl dancing suggestively and loud heavy rock music blaring. This proved too much for Jenny's fragile defenses toward all things carnal, so after I said my brief hellos to Steve-o, we had to split. We ended up finding a nice little bar that was all green on the inside and had trees and shit. Tres chic. I had a couple drinks and Jenny got served for free, since her drinks had no alcohol in them. And when I say no alcohol, I mean no alcohol. Alcohol free!

We stayed that night at Jenny's friend Fabian's house. So I wanted to thank him for his warm hospitality and comfy drop cloth to sleep on. The next day we went shopping on the drag but art majors don't generally shop ... or eat or drink or listen or watch or associate ... with anything trendy, so I was basically shopping by myself. I called up Brandon and he met me out there so I would have someone to actually venture into the stores with me. Our final destination of the evening was the movie theater where we saw The Hours. I don't feel like I'm exaggerating when I say The Hours is the worst movie ever made. Under no circumstances should it be viewed by anyone. In fact, I left the theater once to have a cigarette because I was so fucking bored, and again at the end to catch the last 15 minutes of Shanghai Knights. The Hours was horrible. Worst movie ever. Thats what you get for going to the theater with art majors.

After that rousing viewing experience, I decided to hop in the car and drive to San Antonio. It was already around 10:30 but the prospect of another night on the floor of a painty apartment prompted me to make the midnight trek. I hung out with Kevin for about an hour before we went home and went to bed. His Spring Break is next week so he still had class to go to early in the morning. Tuesday night we went to this badass bar called Cheerleaders. And when I say "badass" I mean "totally lame." I pissed and moaned until we left and went back to Todd's house to drink. I ended up drinking all night long while debating political and social issues with people who were turned a little bit backwards and needed a good smack upside the head, although to do so would have negated my entire point. It was still fun though.

I opted to stay and extra day since I was hungover the next day until dusk and didn't feel much like driving home in the dark. So I got up this morning at like 7 when Kevin was getting ready for school and I hit the open road. Now, I find myself back in College Station. I have plenty to do in the remainder of my week. I have a document/presentation due Tuesday. Thats my most pressing concern. I would also like to work out, do my laundry and clean my room. We'll see if that ever actually happens.

Now, each of you, don't leave me hanging. Hit me back with a comment instead of an IM to let me know how your Spring Break is going/went. Hope you had as much fun as me. Peace, I'm outta here.

Happy Birthday to SideshoViD.com! You all may not realize it since the website, the domain, and the legend have been around much longer, but it has been almost exactly one year since SideshoViD.com as we know it today came into existence. I would have blogged on the exact day that my blog turned the big 01, but I fell asleep and woke up after midnight. I meant to go to lab tonight, but damned if it wasn't just too fucking cold to go back to campus once I got home.

My weekend with Kevin was a blast. I got some killer new shoes from Steve Madden. I snapped a picture of them on the webcam even though they're hard to see. They're just all black tenny's. Tres chic. We also went bowling and cheated and got really high scores. I haven't bowled in so long and I sucked so bad that we played 7 Pin No Tap to make me feel better. I ended up with a 211. We went and saw Old School as well. Oh man, was it hilarious. I highly recommend the flick to everyone. One night we also went to watch his sister, Laura, play in some like basketball game. They totally dominated, I was impressed. That was about the extent of everything productive that we did.

The rest of the weekend was spent sitting outside of the local smoothie shop where Kevin's friend Andrew works drinking free smoothies and basically trashing the place. We also went to a couple parties at Todd's house which I'm still laughing about. I swear everyone there besides Todd, Kevin, me and a few others were like 18 and below. I got asked several times what grade I was in to which I responded, "the sixteenth." I also made a habit of asking people who their homeroom teacher was. I felt kinda special though because it was my first real high school party. I didn't go to high school parties when I was in high school mostly cause I didn't know when and where they were happening. And now, here I am, not 4 years later and not only am I AT the party, but i'm TOO COOL for the party. Sweet vindication, dear friends. So sweet.

Anyway, it was a really great time. I may go back to see Kevin over Spring Break, he may come here, I dunno, I dunno, its all really up in the air. Anyway, wish a Happy Birthday to my blog and I'll catch you sluts on the flip side.

Howdy all, how does the day find you. Not a lot has been happening to me. I was really concerned that I was going to be completely bored the whole time that I was in College Station before school started because I have literally nothing to do. Sometimes it seems like the only things I do are eat, sleep, and poop. On the contrary though, I have been having a blast. I wake up when I want. I eat when I want. I poop when I want, and it doesn't really have any adverse effects. What a life, I tell ya.

Last night me and Ryan went to the Dry Bean Saloon and then back to his place. We tried to call people to come party with us but ultimately it was just me and him for the majority of the night. We watched Dave Chapelle's stand up routine. OMG, it was the funniest thing I've ever seen and it was not because I was drunk. I was laughing convulsively throughout the whole thing. It was way better than Chris Rock. Good times, good times.

Next, the new word of the day, dysphemism ... I couldn't fit all I wanted to into that little post-it note. So here's some additional information for you.
dysphemism (DIS-fuh-miz-em) noun - The substitution of a harsher, deprecating or offensive term in place of a relatively neutral term; antonym: euphemism

Finally, I would like to give a shout out to Kevin's little sister, Laura over there in San Antone. She told me to download the Song of the Day today. So far she is the third person to have her song posted as the song of the day. If you have a song that you like, and think I would like, and would like to share with the Sidesho-World, don't hesitate to send it to me or tell me to download it and chances are I'll post it. Just make sure its not Staind or Creed or, god forbid, Puddle of Mudd. God those bands suck. Aight, I'm out.

Yesterday, I decided to cook a turkey. It was one of those spur of the moment decisions. I had a turkey in my fridge that was gonna go bad if I didn't cook it in the next couple of days, and since I'm going home to Plano tomorrow, last night was about my last chance to cook it. Not that there's anything to it. I just tossed it in an over bag, threw it in at 350 degrees and came back about 3 hours later to eat it. I knew I wasn't going to be able to eat it alone so I took it over to Sean's house cause he was throwing a Tron party for our 349 team. We were celebrating the semester being over. We ended up eating turkey, stuffing, green beans and peas. And polishing off about 4 bottles of champagne. It was a good time.

In other news, I got my new phone today. Currently it has no phone numbers on it. It had some left on the SIM card from my old phone, but rather than going thru and finding out which ones I needed to add, I just deleted them all. I can enter them into my phone via the internet like 20 at a time as opposed to typing each one in, so I'm not worried about it taking too long. Earlier today I copied them all to an excel file. I thought I was gonna hate this phone but its really not too bad. It could use a new face plate or something, but nothing too urgent. Plus, its hella louder than my old phone that I could never hear on.

Anyway, for my last bit of news, I just thought you all might like to know that some very exciting things are happening at SideshoViD.com. You know me, as soon as I get a little time on my hands, I start getting antsy. I think you're all gonna really like what I'm cooking up now. No tellin' when it'll be up. Either by tomorrow or it'll have to be after Christmas. See you all then!

Last night I got out of lab and got home around 11:00 at night. Allison had decided that we were going to Northgate, so she showed up with a couple of beers to drink real fast before we left. We ended up getting there around 11:30. Omega, the place was off the heezy fo sheezy. It was so damn crowded there. You all know how much I hate crowds.

We started off at the Dry Bean, and ended up there later too. In between shots though, we met up with Allison's whole posse at Fitzwilly's and had a beer, and then a drink at MadHatters. MadHatters is really the place to be as of late. Its where all the cool kids hang out. I also ran into Steve-o there. Steve-o said that he visits my webpage every day but that I never mention him. Always aiming to please, as I do, I'm gonna mention him a few more times, and in bold, no less. Its convenient because the rest of our story revolves around Steve-o.

Steve-o and all of his friends are really fun to hang out with and party with, so I jump on it every chance I get. He was leaving to go to Betsy's house, so I tagged along. When we got to his car, Steve-o decided he shouldn't drive, so I took the keys. This girl Shannon that was with us was about to pee her pants so we stopped off at my house first. I grabbed the remaining beers from my fridge and we continued on to Betsy's house. Betsy and some guy, I think his name was Mike, were watching Office Space. Thats always fun. I drank my beers and had a good time like always. Next thing I know, I blinked and I was sitting in the same exact chair in the same exact position, only it was bright outside. So I was like 'umm okay.' Steve-o had to work at 11, and drive out to Iola beforehand to change clothes, so he was up early. When he was ready to go we got in his car and he took me home. I promptly showered and went back to bed until it was time to go to lab. I was in lab all day. We got wireless communication kinda working. It works sometimes. Thats cool.

Not sure what's on the menu for tonight. I'm still trying to find something or someone to do. If you would like to get some major name drops on my page, like Steve-o you'd best be callin me to hang out with me tonight. Or, just hang around Northgate and I'm sure I'll be there soon enough. Alright, skillets, I'm gonna head to the flip side. See you all there.

Well folks, the day finally arrived. As you can see on the webcam pic there, I now have an Aggie Ring around my finger. It was very exciting and gratifying to put it on for the first time. Now I'll finally get the respect I feel I so deserve. So I went out celebrating last night. To Northgate, of course. I went with Ryan, Brandon and AllieD. I drank way too much, but it was a complete blast as always. We went all around drinking and talkin and seein friends and then took CARPOOL home, which is always a blast.

I'm going to the mall now with Todd to spend my Structure fastcash, and then I'm going to see 8 Mile at 3:45. Its gonna be so good. Tonight I'm just gonna take it easy. No drinking tonight. Whoohaaaa. Peace out you have nots.

Spider-Man is finally here on DVD. I'm so excited. I bought it yesterday but only got around to watching it once. I'm sure more viewings will follow this weekend. Then its back to the grindstone for me. I also bleached my hair yesterday. I haven't dyed my hair in so long, but I have been wanting to since day 1. And I decided to get it cut today, so short and blond I go again. I'll get a pic up here as soon as the final product is unveiled. Not sure whats on the slate for tonight, I kinda feel like gettin' kronk. One final note, I made this today and I don't know why. It serves me no purpose, so I thought I'd share it with all of you, so at least its not a total waste. Ahhh color! Peace, i'm outta here.

Hey guys! Thanks so much for all of your sympathetic comments towards my illness! *makes masturbatorial motion* I'm sure you were all secretly concerned. Anyhowdy, I'm back to feeling well, and I'm sure I'll feel absolutely stellar tomorrow cause my neighbor, Brianne, lent me her humidifier. I'm sure its a bit over the top, but fuck it! Free humidity!

So I must say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO COLETTE! She is the big two-two this fine morning. If you would like to extend her a big old Sidesho-Birthday Greeting, please aclick here. That would be cool of you, and only takes a moment.

One final note before I scurry to bed. GO SEE JACKASS the movie. OH MY GOD, I have never laughed so hard at so many moments before. Holy shit, its hilarious. If you've seen it, please, please post your reaction on this comment page. That would be stellar. Love you buh bye.

Hey kids. Boy have I ever not been in the mood to blog lately. That just happens sometimes, y'know. Like you get into the groove of blogging nearly every day for a long time and then suddenly its the last thing you wanna do with your time. Anyway, I'm back now. You've sure missed out on a lot of good stuff, but thats half the fun of me not blogging is you not knowing whats going on, so instead of trying to catch up, I'm just gonna talk about yesterday.

I woke up a little hungover so I spent the morning eating a nice breakfast I cooked for myself, drinking water and juice, and taking a shower. I felt much better after that, and it was such a beautiful day that I couldn't help but be in a really good mood. Keith and Matt left for Dallas to go to the Who concert so I had the place to myself. I decided to turn off the AC, open up all the windows and turn on all the fans. Not only did I air the place out but it felt so good. I had the digital cable music station blaring as I vacuumed and dusted and disinfected. The place is currently spotless. We'll see how long that lasts. So when I was done, I decided to get ready to go to the football game against Vergina Tech. I like to wrap my knees to facilitate standing thru the entire game, so I did the tight ace bandage, metal supported brace combination. No one knows I'm wearin it though cause my overalls go right over it. Man was it hot at the game, especially in these overalls. But it was so fun. Well, besides the fact that we had 3 über-bitches standing next to us all in a huff cause they thought we were in their seats. Whatever. It was just me and Allison so instead of trying to squeeze into our seats, we just took some empty room a few rows back. It wasn't a big deal though, cause they were only there for one quarter and we left before halftime to go down for senior yell so they were only bothering us for like 8 minutes.

Senior Yell was awesome. We went down and lined up and I saw so many people I knew down there. It was like a little '03 reunion. We got to go down on Kyle Field while the Fightin' Texas Aggie Band was doing their show. Then we did two yells and welcomed the Aggies back onto the field. I could have SWORN I was on the jumbo-tron, but so far no one had seen me. The guy with the camera was panning our faces and I had the camera RIGHT in my face for a few seconds, so if it was on the jumbotron then I was too. If you saw me, please let me know. After that they herded us off the field and we went and found a new place to stand in some room of people that left after the band played. The game kinda sucked, mostly cause we lost, but I still had a blast. I got really sunburned in the face, like I knew was gonna happen. But despite all that, it was too fun. Certainly better than sitting up in one of those boxes. Thats just a random opinion of mine, not directed toward anyone.

After that, my brother Stephen was in town, so he came over to see my place. Then we went to go eat at Rockfish. Once again, I ate seafood and enjoyed it. We both got seafood enchiladas. I also ate a shitload of peanuts. Blech. Anyway, I also had a couple beers with dinner, and then stuffed myself with enchiladas, so when we got back we laid around and watched TV, and then Stephen went back to Houston. Almost needless to say, immediately I fell the fuck asleep for a good couple of hours. Allison finally woke me up by coming over to see what I was doing since I wasn't online, and I wasn't answering my phone. Then I went over to her place and watched Super Troopers. It was a pretty funny movie, I would recommend it to all of you without hesitation. After that I got online for a while, did some real nice chatting, drank a couple beers. Keith got home and we went to Taco Cabana at like 4am. Good times, I haven't done that in a while. Now its Sunday and here I am. I don't have shit to do today, so I ain't gonna worry about nothing. Maybe I'll go lay out or something. You know how I do. Anyway, now you're all up to speed, no more complaining. Czech you skillets later.

Oh, and download the new song of the day. Its the JAM, seriously.

Hey all. I'm about to run out to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding with Allison and skip out on open lab hours. Me and Owen (my lab partner) got a lot more done today than anyone else, so its time for another break. I had a fairly productive day despite the rain. I went and pulled a couple football tickets for Vergina Tech on Saturday. Me and Allison are just going together. Its too hard to coordinate a big group for us. Then I went and cut the sleeves off my Harley Davidson shirt cause they were bothering me. Then I ran into both Justin and Arash each on opposite sides of the campus (both of whom you'll remember from the towing blog). So that was fun. Then I had my Symphony class where I fell asleep, and then my lab, which I already discussed. Which brings me to the now.

This is off the topic, but me and Keith watched Wayne's World last night while we ate, and I made a comment about how much of that movie is in my regular rotation of phrases. And as we watched it, i kept count of how many lines from the movie I use on a daily, semi-daily (or even hourly) basis. The count got way into the double digits. Lets just put it that way. It made me kind of sad.

On another note, I told you all I would let you know how Jay's endeavor in the ToughMan competition turned out. This thing went against everything I believe in, but I found myself being very entertained. Jay 'Soda Popinski' did not advance past the first round. He lost after 3 one-minute rounds in a unanimous decision. It wasn't all for naught though, because he made the front page of our school newspaper today. And I felt obliged to share it with all of you. Gotta run, check you all latah.

I love weekends. This one was a great one. Friday I all went to class and stuff, which is really studious for me. That night my friend Serge was having a party over at his place. I showed up around 11 and ended up being the first person there. People eventually showed up though and it ended up being a great time. I ended up catching a ride home with a friend and leaving my car there. Always the responsible one. The next day my parents showed up around noon. Luckily I just happened to wake up early and shower and drink some water (and get my car). My parents brought me a new kitchen table for my place, its totally sweet. Then we sat and chatted for a while. We went out for lunch at Texas Roadhouse, and then they took me grocery shopping. When we got back from Krogers they left for Houston to visit my brother, Stephen. It was a nice little visit.

Last night I went over to Ryan and Todd's place. David was in town yet again with their friend Sam. Frank and Stoner showed up and we started off the night with a little bit of 6-cup. Once the majority of us were sufficiently toasted, we busted out the drunken Pictionary. That is such a fun game. Me and Frank completely dominate when we're partners. We won the first game by more than half the board. Its pretty ridiculous, to be honest. I ended up not drinking for the rest of the night and driving myself home around 3am. Good times. Today I didn't do shit, but I'm about to go look at some homework and get it done. But right now I'm watching Pleasantville and really enjoying it. So I'll talk to you all later.

I think I have a lot to talk about. I haven't blogged in a couple of days. So sit back, relax, and strap yourself in for this fast paced eye popping blog of all blogs. Okay thats a total lie. Anyway, what's been goin on? Wednesday passed like any other day, not much to talk about there. Thursday a lot of little things happened.

In my archery class we got to select bows. I chose a left handed 26 pound bow. I am left eye dominant so I'm taking the instructor's advice and firing left handed. He said initially it will be harder, but a better idea in the long run. And since I'm going to be a complete natural at archery, I want to be as good as I can be down the road. On Tuesday we actually get to fire arrows. I'm so excited.

On my way back to main campus from archery, my friend Nadia called me just to see what was up. I have a large break in between classes so I met up with her outside of the Bright Building just to say hi and bullshit. On the way, I ran into Adam, the guy who was in our speech class with us. We chit chatted for a little while and then parted our separate ways. The rest of the day was a total bore of class and stuff. But I did not go to open labs for the first time this week. It was a nice break. Instead, AllieD invited me over for dinner. She made beef strogonoff (if anyone knows how to spell this word I would greatly appreciate it). It was so damn good. She made a LOT tho, and it was just the two of us, so we ended up completely gorging ourselves while we watched Van Wilder (an excellent flick, I highly recommend).

After that I wanted to come home, get ready and go out. Turns out Allison was (a) in a good mood and (b) wanting to go out. So we actually went to Northgate just the two of us. That doesn't happen too much. We had a friggin blast. Well I know for sure I did, and I'm pretty sure Al did too. We started off at the library. I ran into some of my friends and we all shared a table. Allison had a Cosmopolitan cause she was already looking fabulous so she wanted to accentuate the obvious. I had a Jack and coke cause I'm a simple man with simple tastes. After that we went to Duddley's and drank some beers until they kicked us out. I completely forgot that we had parked in the garage, so I was thinking that Moore Hall was on the way to my car, so I made Allison go all the way over there cause I had to piss like a racehorse and everywhere on Northgate was locked. Burns let me in, and we chilled for a minute. Some guy was riding around on a skateboard, so Allison told him she had a phone call for him. It was the 80's and they wanted their skateboard back. Needless to say, she wasn't making friends. So we split. I got home, drank a few beers, chatted for a while, and then went to bed.

Today I woke up at like noon, didn't bother showering, went to my Symphony class. Then I did this assignment for my 349 class and turned it in, and now I am home. End of story basically. Tonight, me and Keith are going to the Toughman Competition. Our friend Jay has decided that it was necessary to gain like 7 pounds in order to be able to fight in the lowest weight division. He's going to get in the ring, hit somebody he doesn't even know as many times as he can, and I suppose its gonna prove something. Whatever the motivation though, we're so there. I know I shouldn't complain about the idiocy of such a contest when I'm funding it with my ticket price, so I'll try to keep an open mind going in. We'll see though. I'll let you all know how it goes. Til then ... be cool, stay in school.

Not a whole lot has changed recently, dear friends. My room is still in disarray, though the living room is starting to come together. I've had a bit to drink. There was a keg out back one night, and that was a good time had by all. We know everyone on our street it seems. Lots of cool neighbors. Turns out the girl that shares our wall is a girl I've known for like 2 years. So thats a load off, no cranky neighbors.

I'm rather distracted right now, I'm trying to blog and watch Gone in 60 Seconds at the same time and its not really working. Unfortunately, you all lose. I'm gonna concentrate on the movie. Peace out kids, if anything exciting happens, I'll let you know.

I spent almost all of yesterday with Allison. She called and woke me up to come eat lunch with her at the Cotton Snatch, where she works. So I got up, threw on a clean shirt and headed out there. I had Brocorri Cheese soup and a salad. Allison had a glass of water and a crouton. Then we went to Kroger and did some brief grocery shopping and went back to Allison's pad. We hung out there for just a little bit and then headed over to the mmmovie theater to see Austin Power's in Goldmember. I really enjoyed the movie. At times it was slow and at times it was the opposite of funny. But it was overall generally entertaining at all times. The real key was that when it was funny, ohmigod, it was hilarious. So I was either looking at my watch wondering when it would end or having a groin grabbingly good laugh. I would definitely recommend seeing this movie.

After AP, Allison wanted to stop by Academy sports and outdoors, the right stuff the right price. So we did just that. Turns out, all their summer stuff was on sale. And I've been wanting a new beach towel cause my Darth Maul towel from like 2 or 3 years ago just isn't doing it for me anymore out poolside. So I got a new towel for like 6 bucks. I've also wanted a new suit cause I had swimming laps in board shorts. So I got a more sensible lap swimming suit for like 5 bucks. Its ugly as hell, but the only one left in my size. Then I bought a sleeveless workout shirt for about 6 bucks and a pair of A&M workout shorts. I have a new workoutfit, which I unveiled last night to RAVE reviews, I'm sure. I also bought a pack of undershirts, because all of mine seem to say FUCK on them in one fashion or another. What a dirty little habit of mine. Anyway, after that we decided to slurge once again and go to On the Border for dinner. I got some chicken enchiladas and Allison had a light salad with dressing on the side. After that I came home and slept until I woke up around 10:30 and went to go work out. I just woke up today and nothing has happened yet so I'll have to tell you about it tomorrow. Excelsior!

Another weekend is upon us, dear readers. We have all survived another week of this hellish summer. Wait, did I say hellish? I meant hellaciously breezy. Not much transpired this week. I laid out yesterday and I'm pretty burnt today, but it doesn't hurt too much. I got a lot done on my project and I'm feeling optimistic. I might even meet with the professor next week. I tried to find him today, but to no avail. I went to the rec a few times and got swoll, swam a bunch of laps, and played a little ping pong. I went and put in an application for a job at Planet Beach, the tanning salon I used to go to. Yes, I put in an actual high schoolish retard of a position anyone with the IQ of a broomstick could do it application for a minimum wage living on welfare white trash paying job. There I said it. I need to apply to a couple other places, but today I wore a dew rag to class so I didn't think I looked particularly presentable. Allinall though I'd have to say this was an excellent summer week. I got a lot accomplished.

"Whats on the slate for tonight?" you ask. Ah my little naivette viewer, always such a curious little monkey. Well, I imagine there'll be some alcohol consumed judging by the massive amounts we just purchased. We might go out, we might stay in, we might have company, we might not. Everything is up in the air still, but I don't care either way cause I'monna have fun regardless. Tomorrow, I think I want to go see Austin Powers. I didn't get to see it today like I wanted. So if anyone reads this before tomorrow and wants to accompany me (or pay for me or whatever) just let me know. As you know you can always email me at SideshoViD@sideshovid.com. Excelsior!

I am back in one piece. I ended up spending an extra day in Oklahoma City. When my sister asked me to come visit her, I assumed it was going to be just to visit mostly. But since she was just moving into her new house, I ended up getting worked pretty hard. I brought some stools from my parents to her, but they were too tall for her little bar area. So I hacked off the bottom of the legs and attached little foam pads to them. They ended up being the perfect height. Then I treated her whole floor with Murphy's oil since she has hardwood floors throughout the house. Then we randomly decided to sponge paint her whole kitchen and dining room area. I felt very Trading Spaces. I had to stay an extra day to finish up the painting. I'm exhausted now. I just wanna lay around for a while.

Tonight I really wanna see Star Wars but I can't find anyone in this town to go with me. So if you're in Plano and want to go see Star Wars tonight give me a call on my cell. Check you cats later.

What a crazy and fun Friday night. That's how they should all be. The evening began at Fazoli's with Keith to get some dinner. I had the lasagna with broccoli. It looked gross but tasted great. The breadstick girl gave me attitude because I made fun of her for flirting with Keith. I was chewing on a lemon and she came by to tell me that she used to eat lemons when she was little. So I said, "Yeah, well I used to be fat when I was little." No I'm kidding, but that's what the old immature me would have said. I didn't really retaliate except by making her throw my trash away.

After I was fetted and full, I went to Ryan and Todd's to commence the binge drinking session. We played 6-Cup, our favorite drinking game. Its a lot like Power Hour in that you don't ever have to really drink all that much at once, but after you've been playing a while, it hits you pretty hard. I was playing with Ryan, Todd, David, and Joseph. Sometime around 3am everyone started passing out, but me and Joseph were still wide awake. I got a call from Allison telling me she was at a killer party and that I should stop by. So I called Keith and had him drive me and Joseph over to Allisons.

When we got there, there was no alcohol except for some Skyy drinks that belonged to some girl. So we drank those, but we weren't supposed to so we had to disguise the fact that we were drinking these bright blue bottles. I put mine in a Keebler's Crackers box, and Joseph hid his in a neon yellow fanny pack. Soon after we got there, everyone started going home or passing out, which sucked. We could have passed out on the floor of Allison's duplex, but I really wanted my bed and Joseph was gonna sleep on my couch. There was only one way to make it home though ... and that was to walk.

For those of you who are familiar with College Station, we walked from Welsh & Southwest Pkwy to Texas & Holleman. Its pretty damn far and it was a little chilly. We ran into one guy who was sitting on his porch smoking a cigarette so we stopped and had a smoke with him. I don't remember if he was cool, but we'll just say he was. By then it was probably around 4am. We happened to be walking right by Leslie's apartment, and despite the fact I hardly ever talk to her anymore, I decided I would like to see her so I called her cell phone. She didn't answer but I left a message that said "Hey it's David. I'm just about to walk by your apartment and thought I'd stop by but you must be sleeping," And we continued on.

A couple minutes later, we're a ways down the sidewalk and I hear this faint "DAAAAAVIIIIID!" Turns out Leslie had just listened to my message, so I yelled back and ran back to her apartment. We stopped in there and chilled for a while though all we had to drink was water, since we were a bit parched from the walk. I saw this guy I went to school with from like K-8 grade and he didn't remember me which offended me. I mean, I probably haven't seen him in like 8 years, but still. I remember everyone from my elementary school. Well, around 4:30, I think, we left Leslies to finish off the walk home.

When we got back to my apartment, we made some Easy Mac and drank a bunch of water. Keith came home and was enjoying our drunken antics as Joseph tried to make some tuna concoction to eat. It was pretty funny. I think we went to bed around 5 or 5:30am.

To sum up the evening, it was exactly "how I do." Every Friday night should be as adventurous. I woke up around 2:30 today and went to Wal-Mart with Allison and Keith. I didn't buy anything, but we did stop by GNC and get some of those candles that you burn in your ears. Its odd, look 'em up, I'll let you know if they work. Oh, also, in Wal-Mart I kicked a ball into this toddler's face. It was hilarious. Tonight I'm gonna go to Allison's to eat lasagna and watch Life as a House, which is an EXCELLENT movie. So, I'll catch you kids later. Excelsior!