Green thumb is mentioned in 18 posts, which ranks #36 overall for things. It is most often associated with these...

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I made some of my jean extending clip on cuffs. I just haven't implemented the clip on functionality which is why I haven't photographed them yet. The Allistralian was just at my apartment the other night and she was really stoked about the invention because she has a hard time finding jeans that are the right length. This product could totally be marketed to the big and tall -- not just wieners with high waters. Why didn't I think of this?

Last night I was going to order Patch Perfect -- the shakeable grass seed -- from an infomercial. But I decided to do a little research on the internet first. Everyone gave it 0 out of 10, but they said it was because it didn't cover nearly as much area as it claimed, or they said this is just grass seed, why is it so expensive? So I compromised and went to Wal-Marts and got a bag of grass seed. I've had these planters outside of my bedroom window for years now and to date have been unsuccessful in keeping anything alive for more than a day. I was under the impression that plants could survive hours, maybe even days, without constant care. Not so. I have killed everything from plants to herbs and always in under a week. So now I'm growing grass. Heat resistant, drought resistant grass. If I can keep it alive, get it to grow in pretty thick, and then cut it to a uniform length, I think that could be real attractive. If I can keep it alive.

And now, another million dollar idea from yours truly. Strange how I have all of these million dollar ideas, but not a million dollar bank account. Anyway, you know how celebrity gossip and tabloids are so popular? And also you know how reality TV is so popular? Okay, now put those two ideas together:

REALITY TABLOIDS!!!

I'm going to write nasty articles about how fat women in my neighborhood are getting. And I'm gonna snap pictures of two bitches out at bars wearing the same outfit and have people vote on who wore it better. I'll do everything the paparazzi does to celebrities, but I'll do it to regular people. It'll be so awesome. Breaking neighborhood scandals. Having people see themselves leaving a local bar and falling down. This could really catch on. I'm working on the first issue now. It'll be a twofer purchase with the first issue of the Conduit. Suckers.

I guess everyone wasn't as excited about my flowers as I am. I continue to grow more excited each and every day as they continue to grow. The day that one of them blooms, drink are on me! (No, thats not a typo -- drink are on me!) In other news, Owen and I finished rearranging the living room finally. Everything is at an angle, but they're at different angles. It's very avant-garde. The spaces left in the corners by furniture being at wonky angles allowed me to put a little bit of back lighting, which I think really pulls the whole room together. Yay me.

Last night I went over to David27's to watch a movie with our old friend Michael P■■■. Good times. We watched Party Monster. It was a pretty good movie, I missed the beginning, but if you get a chance to see it I recommend. I brought a bottle of wine as per Mr. P■■■' request, and then he decided he didn't want to drink. But David27 did not have a corkscrew, so using a round thing and a hammer, Michael hammered the cork into the bottle instead of pulling it out. Ingenious. I never would have thought to do so. Why, oh why must I always think inside the box?

I've decided not to return home for jebus's second birthday. I would have to drive there and back all in like one day and I hate doing that. Plus the whole church fiasco will reer its ugly head betwixt the parentals and I. Besides that, I think I am deathly ill. It feels like someone has been standing on my chest for like 2 days now. And I can cough until the cows come home but nothing will come up. Maybe I'll try not smoking and see how that affects things. As it is, pity me! I'm sick! Check you sluts later.

Oh I am so excited. My wildflowers have only been planted for like 4 days now and they're already starting to sprout. Can you believe it? I actually thought there was a good chance that they would not grow for me. You see, I don't exactly have a green thumb. In fact, everything I touch turns brown, even my beloved cactus. But not this time, my friends, not this time. I love my wildflowers and I am going to nurture them and love them and make them bloom. It's almost time to hit them with another batch of plant food.

In fact, maybe I should give my new friend a hit of plant food as well. He is a palm tree and he now lives behind my TV. I've been wanting to rearrange the living room for a while now but Owen has not been very keen on the idea. So I decided to do it in stages while he was out of the apartment. I put the TV in the corner but it looked stupid with the speakers turned all inward so I brought the TV out flush with them, which looks good but created a huge empty gap. Long story short (which I know is ridiculous to say after you've already told the long story) I bought the palm tree to go in that space.

In case you're wondering that's Ben Affleck on the TV screen. I was watching my new Best of Molly Shannon DVD from Time Life video. It's turning into quite a collection now, I wasn't even aware more were on their way. Joy! Easter is almost upon us and everyone is kind of meandering home to celebrate, but I think I will just stay in College Station. I dunno, maybe I'm just jealous of jebus. It would be so awesome to have two birthdays.