USA :::: SideshoViD.com :::: Level 10

SideshoViD
March 5, 2010

is going to try out for Wheel of Fortune tomorrow.

SideshoViD
February 28, 2010

Looking out the sixth floor window of the Texas School Book Depository, I couldn't help but think, "I could shoot somebody from here."

SideshoViD
February 28, 2010

Last night there were tons of people on McKinney wearing banana suits. Is this dress-up bar crawl thing a weekly occurrence in Uptown? How do I get on the mailing list?

SideshoViD
February 26, 2010

didn't fill out the blasted form correctly. 8-12 more weeks on a resubmittal to get my homebuyers credit.

SideshoViD
February 20, 2010

just bumped into Miranda Hobbes at the Nasher.

SideshoViD
February 12, 2010

After the power went out last night and it got down to like 40° in the condo, I finished my candlelight shower and went down to discover a tree on my car

SideshoViD
February 11, 2010

Just got sent home early for inclement weather only to discover that the new web filter IT installed yesterday blocks logmein.com -- how I access my work PC remotely with all of our internal websites. Now I have to take tech support phone calls blind from home on my personal cell phone. Fun.

Febrehabruarvi Day 7

Sunday, February 7, 2010

I don't know if you've noticed the conspicuous omission of any posts about Febrehab this year. It's not that I'm not doing -- I am. It's just that it's really not much of a challenge this year. I really don't drink a whole lot these days. And, I wasn't going to mention this publicly, just in case, but now I think it's pretty official: I quit smoking 6 months ago.

Right when we got back from Owen's wedding when I wasn't feeling well, I didn't smoke and then I just kind of figured I would keep it going just for the hell of it. So now that's that. I don't foresee myself ever going back to it. I don't even miss it.

But that does kind of take the fun out of rehab if you're not addicted to anything. But this year I am trying to focus on sleeping more, so I've moved my bedtime up to 10:30pm. I do not stay up past that for any reason. And the other side challenge is to do something cultural in Dallas each weekend in February. So yesterday JennyC■■■ came into town and we went with her to the Dallas Museum of Art. Got some general admission passes and walked around and looked at art. She'd been there 100 times, Daniel had been a few times, but I've never been. It was a really fun way to spend the afternoon. Then we came back and chit chatted for a while and then Jenny had to leave.

So far so good, just not a lot to report so I've kind of forgotten to keep the blog up to date, but you're probably getting used to that these days, no?

SideshoViD
February 6, 2010

There are literally hundreds of people walking up and down McKinney Avenue wearing Snuggies. I did not receive this memo.

SideshoViD
February 6, 2010

Some of the stuff in the DMA is like good enough to be sold at Hobby Lobby!

SideshoViD
January 31, 2010

4 years and counting!

A new chapter

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Now we enter a new chapter in my life: The crazy years. Let me see if I can preface this well enough. 5 months ago everything was grand. I flew to San Diego for a wedding, and while I was there I got very, very dizzy. This incessant dizziness was coupled with my heart skipping beats. I said nothing just wanting to get on a plane and come home. And when I did, I finally told Daniel how I had been feeling all day and he took me to the ER.

They took blood. They took XRays. They did an MRI and a catscan. They measured my blood pressure laying, sitting, standing. I subsequently went to a cardiologist and had a full workup stress test of my heart done. Everything comes back saying everything is normal. And yet, I'm still dizzy.

A while back the dizziness was accompanied with what I can only describe as a panic attack. I'd lay on the couch, somewhat spinning, heart racing, palms sweaty, adrenaline pumping. I went to the doctor and she prescribed me anti-anxiety medicine. But I was in the process of buying this condo. So everyone was like it's probably just stress from that. And as soon as everything was squared away and finalized, the anxiety went away so I brushed it off and carried on.

Well now it's back and worse than before. I have varying degrees of vertigo but it's pretty much a daily occurrence. I haven't been able to walk down a hallway free of fear of falling down or passing out now for 5 months. And the past few days I've been so worked up over it that I've skipped meals and I've been sleeping 12+ hours every day and never feeling the least bit rested. So I went BACK to the doctor. This time she made me an appointment with a neurologist for tomorrow morning and gave me a prescription to Xanax.

Now, I'm a bit of a Xanaxpert when it comes to abusing the drug. I've seen what it does to people who take it every hour on the hour. But I've never tried it myself. I think I will take half of one tonight just to try and guarantee a peaceful night. I've been told I will probably just pass out. But if I can just make it through a decent meal and get some rest, I think that will be the best for me.

If the neurologist finds nothing then I am truly crazy, hypochondriac and I need to be locked away for good. More news when I have it.

http://www.dfwmassagedoctor.com/

SideshoViD
January 17, 2010

Gearing up to sell off the ol' comic book collection. Helloooo early retirement.

SideshoViD
January 16, 2010

Best. Massage. Ever.

SideshoViD
January 7, 2010

is going to buy a heated mattress pad.

SideshoViD
January 2, 2010

Electricity bill was a little shocking this month so I'm doing the only thing I know to do to combat it -- creating a daily usage tracking/cost extrapolating spreadsheet so we won't be surprised ever again.

SideshoViD
January 1, 2010

made it home with 3 minutes to spare before midnight. Happy New Year!

SideshoViD
December 19, 2009

The fluorescent light hurts my eyes, so I took all the bulbs out of the ceiling. Then it was too dark so I went on an Ikea shopping spree. Then I pimped my cube.

SideshoViD
December 13, 2009

is willing to drive farther and pay more to shop anywhere but Albertsons.

Toot! Toot!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I think Facebook is to blame for the decline in the number of posts that I make on SVC. It used to be that I'd save up every little thought and occasionally combine them into a blog. But now that I essentially tweet, those little thoughts leak out until I have nothing left to say when a blog comes around. Even todays post has generally been addressed already on Facebook. I already posted this picture. But I think it is badass enough to warrant showing it to my Sidesho Viewers who may not be avid social networkers.

So we paid painters to come in and paint every last inch of wall space in the condo. And they did an amazing job. If you ever need painters, let me know and I'll recommend them to you. But in the bedroom we knew that we wanted to do something funky, something with stripes, and we wanted to do it ourselves. After the base coat of regal plum went down, I was already in love with the palette. The white trim really pops out against the dark, dark purple. And since the lights are rarely very high in this space, it's not really purple, it's just rich and dark. But I wanted to kind of vomit color on it, make it a little cacophonous. And the design I came up with was a technicolor barcode. It cost a lot of money for a bunch of little cans of paint, and took two solid days of taping and painting and taping and painting, but we finally arrived at this final result:

And I love it. I think its the best bedroom I've done so far. Now you KNOW I don't like to toot my own horn, but just this once, in this special situation, I think it's well deserved. TOOT! TOOT!

SideshoViD
November 26, 2009

New bedroom stripes

SideshoViD
November 25, 2009

is going crazy with stripes.

Commutety

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Yesterday was the first day of real rain since we've moved down to Dallas. I woke up to the sounds of rain beating against the windows and realized that it probably meant I would be late for work. So I jumped out of bed, had a hurried shower (which is rare these days since we upgraded to the multiple shower heads), and inhaled some breakfast on my way out the door.

Having never commuted on I-35 in the rain, I was pretty nervous about what I would see. And when I got to the on ramp, I had to pump my brakes a few times to merge. And then the strangest thing happened. It opened up and we started going 65 mph... the entire way to Carrollton. There wasn't so much as a stalled vehicle on the side of the road to impede the flow. Everybody was cruising right along. As I listened to the traffic report, which that morning was basically a rundown of every highway in the metroplex, I really started to get proud of everyone on 35 that morning.

So now I want to start a group on Facebook or maybe a Yahoo group called "People who take I-35E north from Dallas in the mornings." That way, I could get on there and post, "Great job everybody! We all handled the rain wonderfully. High five!" Even though the high five is across town. I think that would be so fun to interact with people who share your commute. Like, "Hey, person in the green Tahoe, you totally cut me off," and then they could reply, "Sorry, my wife was in labor, had to get to the hospital," and then you'd be all, "Aww, congratulations!"

And I call my idea ... the Commutety.

SideshoViD
November 17, 2009

had the entire condo painted today. It looks pretty sweet.

SideshoViD
November 16, 2009

Haha I told you I was on the news. Even called myself a mouth-breather!

SideshoViD
November 12, 2009

loves, loves, loves the new ceiling fans. Daniel did an amazing job installing the first one!

Living in our white bread world.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

It's official. I live in Uptown. It's a little bit surreal considering that just a little over a month ago, I was snug as a bug in my apartment in Addison one day dreaming of homeownership. Honestly, I don't think I ever would have purchased a home if left to my own devices. I am a creature of habit. But a little push was all it took, we found this condo, fell in love, and now we're all moved in and set up. I would post pictures, but we're having the painters come sometime in the next two weeks to completely paint every wall. And we're waiting to do that before we hang anything on the walls. So it is still a work in progress. But at least the TV room and my foot massagers are set up and operational.

Our blinds have been ordered and should be delivered this week. And we got a couple of really cool ceiling fans that we just found out were never actually ordered from Lowes. This old dude "ordered" them for us, but considering he didn't know how to use the computing device to order them, I suppose I shouldn't be shocked that it never went through. I'm about to run over there and see what I can do to straighten it out.

I wouldn't say it's exactly a culture shock making the move south of 635, but its definitely a little bit different. We have a plethora of new restaurants around us within walking distance to try -- so in that way, it has most of the features that I always liked about Addison. It's like I live in a real city. So exciting. I'm sure I'll have some more stories from the mean streets of Dallas as time goes on. And pictures once everything is done.

SideshoViD
October 29, 2009

and Daniel are homeowners!

SideshoViD
October 29, 2009

is Daniel K. T■■■■■■ by David J. F■■■■ as attorney-in-fact.

SideshoViD
October 23, 2009

Does anybody near Addison have a truck capable of transporting a queen sized bed as well as some free time this weekend and a willingness to help out?

Camelot

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I've just rounded out the 6th hour of programming on the History Channel about the Kennedy family. I'm not sure why they're doing a marathon today, but I was completely enthralled in all of it. It's weird to think that was nearly 50 years ago. In keeping with my long standing traditions as the publisher and editor-in-chief of a conspiracy theories newsletter, I thought maybe I would offer my own theory as to the assassination of JFK.

I have seen all the recent computer regenerations and accurate recreations and I now am convinced that the fatal bullet came from the 6th floor window of the Texas School Book Depository Building. SIDENOTE: What the fuck is a book depository? That phrase has kind of become ingrained in our vocabulary because of this singular event, but has it ever occurred to anyone else how strange it is to have an entire building in the heart of downtown dedicated to the storage of text books? It is a seven story building for g*d's sake. Exactly how many books were left there? Why weren't they handed out to school children? I find the whole thing very suspect.

Anyway, modern forensics has sufficiently proven to me that the fatal wound came from that window -- but it has not convinced me that Oswald made the shot. In fact, what if he missed? What if he was really aiming at Jackie O? Tell me you weren't jealous of her pink Chanel suit. It would enrage anyone to want to take her out. Wind blows a little more than you accounted for and you've just accidentally shot the leader of the free world. Whoops. That's why it was such an impossible shot, because it was a pure fluke accident. That's my original conspiracy theory.

I should go to the 6th floor museum. I've never really been down to that area of town much less on a Saturday afternoon, but I was amazed while condo hunting that like 100 people were strewn out across the grassy knoll making hand gestures and angle measurements up to the window. Now that I will be living in Dallas for the first time, I have certain duties to know about interesting things to see/do in the city. And that one is a no-brainer for out of towners.

Moving day is rapidly approaching. The bar is destroyed. The walls are white. Several boxes are packed. We are well ahead of schedule and that makes me very happy. I'll keep you posted -- Moving Day Oct 30.

Mercer me!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

A lot has happened since last we met. It turns out we are moving. October 30th we'll be in our new home in Uptown. Yes, yes, I know, I never thought I would leave Addison either, and I do so with a heavy heart, but looking long term, we thought the Uptown area would be a better permanent location. And it has all of the walkable amenities we like about this neighborhood, but we're really in a real city. Our address will now say Dallas, TX. I've never lived in a real city before.

We're moving because we're buying a condo. I have been an avid renter for many years, often espousing the virtues of renting. People always whine and moan about equity and about how you're paying yourself instead of getting someone else rich. But look, don't be stupid. When you sell that house, if you make a profit, you're just using it as a down payment on another house, from which you derive another mortgage, probably and you will continue making monthly payments until the day you die. So I don't look at this as an investment, I look at it as permanence. We are never moving again! So we want that to be somewhere we own.

It's a little bit of a downsize, so we are trying to sell a few of our things. If you need a bed or some office chairs or bar stools or a microwave or blender or knife set or TV or shower curtain or wine rack or buffet table or IKEA shelf or end tables or a night stand or inversion machine or upholstered coffee table or flatware set or chandelier or DVD player or pendant lighting or drawer pulls or drawer slides .... let me know. Also if you're available Halloween weekend to help us move that would be awesome. We're going to hire movers for the big stuff and do the rest ourselves. And we live overlooking a graveyard now so it should be a spooktastic Halloween!

More details to come as I know them. It's not a done deal yet, but it will be the 29th! Can't wait!

SideshoViD
October 4, 2009

is back from Vegas. Kylie was incredible. Tomorrow -- contract signings.

SideshoViD
October 1, 2009

is skipping work today, going to Vegas tonight. Good day. Hope to hear back on the offer too. Could be an amazing day.

I am a Digesting Reader

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

You all know how I am an extreme fan of Reader's Digest. I just read the best article and it spawned a new weekend activity for me. It was all about how to be your own body guard.

It has little tips like how you should always stop your car where you can see the tires of the car in front of you. That way if someone tries to carjack you, you can swerve around the car in front of you to get away. (And then immediately throw that bitch right back in reverse and permanently solve the problem.) They also say if you're being attacked you should yell "Fire!" instead of "Help!" People's natural inclination when someone is yelling for help is to get away because they don't want to get sucked into it. But they are also so inclined to run toward a fire, thinking they'll be able to help in some way. That was by far my favorite hint. They also suggest carrying a little bit of "mugger's money." This is just a little bit of easily accessible cash that can be handed over if need be to someone putting a pistol in your pie hole. Most muggers are looking for a quick buck and will run away once they have it, so it's better to lose a $20 than a jaw bone.

But onto the activity. I get this feeling Daniel hates the multitude of activities I have planned at any one time, but he has to participate in this one. We've talked before about getting some mace to keep in the house just in case someone was breaking in. Realistically, I'm more concerned about a confused, irate drunk person trying to get into what they think is their apartment than I am about a robber trying to take my things. So I think mace would suffice to keep me safe. However, if I am woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of my front door being kicked in, my ass is going out the window, pronto.

We have a door in our bedroom that opens to the outside. Only it goes nowhere. There's no balcony or anything, just a railing to a 4 foot drop. So like Reader's Digest suggest, I've informed Daniel that we will be having a break-in drill soon. I want to lay in bed and pretend the door just got kicked in and then see how long it takes us to get up, grab a cell phone, unlock and open the pointless door, and then jump over the railing to the flowerbeds below. He is confident that in the situation we would rise to the occasion, but that is just the kind of talk my four dollar magazine advises against.

Anyone wanna run the stop watch for us?

Don’t listen to your heart

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The ear infection did indeed clear up and I am back on solid ground. Lately it seems like I can't go one full day without getting vertigo, or my knee giving out, or my back spasming, or my throat getting sore, or missing out on a good night of sleep. Daniel suggested that I might be a hypochondriac to which I replied, "Oh g*d! Do you think so? Should I go see a doctor?!" Instead, I've decided to cut out that middle man and reach the same conclusion with no muss, no fuss. From now on, I am ignoring my body.

I'm not sure how I got out of the habit of ignoring problems until they go away, but I'm back in it now. It's especially helpful at the gym when my heart is racing and my head is swimming, my knees are burning, but I just keep going. Because really what's harm?

I was pretty shocked though when I got my bill for the two trips to the ER. Not including the $100 copay I have to pay each time, my total bill was $0.00. I was unaware this was possible. I thought that trips to the ER were a financial death sentence. I never knew there was insurance that actually covered anything. I thought the purpose of insurance was to take all of your money and then find reasons to not cover you later. Maybe my new corporate insurance is designed to take care of its employees? I don't know what happened, but I feel like all the money I feared I would have to spend is now free to be blown in Vegas.

Vegas trip is less than a month away. I can't wait. Then we're trying to get a game plan together of whether we're vacationing anywhere over the holidays. We're thinking maybe Denver or New Orleans. More to come on that.

Stay classy, San Diego.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Last weekend, Daniel and I took off Friday and Monday so we could fly out to San Diego for Owen and Kimi's nuptials. I'd never been to San Diego and Daniel was quite familiar with it so he was excited to kind of show me around. We had a bachelor/bachelorette party on Friday and a wedding on Sunday so there was plenty of down time. San Diego is such a lovely little city. The weather was immaculate -- especially after a few weeks of 100+ temperatures here. The people are all really cool, friendly, and generally proud of themselves for living in San Diego. The wedding was really pretty out at this little marina outside with a backdrop of boats. The reception was really fun too. So that was ... man, it was just great....

So Monday morning, because the newly weds were staying in our hotel (which was pretty bomb, btw) we asked them if they'd like to meet up with us for breakfast. And walking down to the restaurant, I kept like losing my balance, putting my hand on the wall to stabilize myself. I was DD at the reception so I really didn't drink much, but I just kind of shrugged it off thinking it must have been the dark beer I'm not used to. But then it happened again, and again, again. And now at this point I'm getting nervous and my heart is like fluttering. But I figured a nice big breakfast, and a couple hours of napping would take care of it since we didn't have to check out or be at the airport for some time.

It helped a little, but after we turned in the rental car, it happened like 100 more times. I just couldn't keep my balance, I kept feeling like I was falling over. Not wanting to alarm Daniel, and not wanting to delay our departure, I decided to chance it and say nothing and get on the plane. I managed to sleep most of the way through the flight and survived. We landed, got our bags, were walking out to the car, and this time I went like down to the ground. It was really scaring me. So when we got home, I said something to Daniel about how this had been going on all day. My heart wasn't beating regularly and I was passing out ever 10 minutes. So we did the only thing we could think to do and went to the ER.

They hooked me up to heart monitors and took chest XRays and blood and urine and said everything came back perfectly healthy. Maybe it was stress. I should go home and rest and I'd be fine. If anything happened though to come back immediately. The next day I went to work, fell down on the way to the bathroom, didn't know which way was up, so back to the ER I went. This time they took blood again, then did a catscan and an MRI of my brain. Everything was normal so they sent me home. I started thinking about it, and my symptoms were so acute that I couldn't think of anything it could be but an ear problem. So I called our old friend Dr. Schwimmer at the Snoring Center of Dallas (since he is an ENT doctor by trade) and asked him if he could help me. He is so nice. He said swing by the next day and he'd take a look.

Well, I'm pleased to tell you that I have an inner ear infection that should clear up on its own in 3-5 days. He advised me to not drive, stay home from work, and sleep as much as my body wanted to (which just so happens to be like 20 hours a day if you include naps). And I already feel much better. I'm a tad embarrassed I went to the ER, but you kind of have to decide in that moment if you want to ignore this and see what happens or if you want to be safe. At least I know now for sure that my heart is healthy, my brain is defect free, and I have no bladder infections. How many of you can say that? Still, I imagine there are cheaper ways to get physicals.

Alas, I'm on the road to recovery. My touch of the dizzies has already waned. Here's hoping I'll be fine by Monday. Just wanted you all to hear this story in case it happens to you, I might be able to save you a few trips to the hospital.

SideshoViD
August 9, 2009

never knew mobile Facebook could be so usable. Owen and Kimi's wedding tonight!

Who wore it better?

Friday, July 31, 2009

I made some of my jean extending clip on cuffs. I just haven't implemented the clip on functionality which is why I haven't photographed them yet. The Allistralian was just at my apartment the other night and she was really stoked about the invention because she has a hard time finding jeans that are the right length. This product could totally be marketed to the big and tall -- not just wieners with high waters. Why didn't I think of this?

Last night I was going to order Patch Perfect -- the shakeable grass seed -- from an infomercial. But I decided to do a little research on the internet first. Everyone gave it 0 out of 10, but they said it was because it didn't cover nearly as much area as it claimed, or they said this is just grass seed, why is it so expensive? So I compromised and went to Wal-Marts and got a bag of grass seed. I've had these planters outside of my bedroom window for years now and to date have been unsuccessful in keeping anything alive for more than a day. I was under the impression that plants could survive hours, maybe even days, without constant care. Not so. I have killed everything from plants to herbs and always in under a week. So now I'm growing grass. Heat resistant, drought resistant grass. If I can keep it alive, get it to grow in pretty thick, and then cut it to a uniform length, I think that could be real attractive. If I can keep it alive.

And now, another million dollar idea from yours truly. Strange how I have all of these million dollar ideas, but not a million dollar bank account. Anyway, you know how celebrity gossip and tabloids are so popular? And also you know how reality TV is so popular? Okay, now put those two ideas together:

REALITY TABLOIDS!!!

I'm going to write nasty articles about how fat women in my neighborhood are getting. And I'm gonna snap pictures of two bitches out at bars wearing the same outfit and have people vote on who wore it better. I'll do everything the paparazzi does to celebrities, but I'll do it to regular people. It'll be so awesome. Breaking neighborhood scandals. Having people see themselves leaving a local bar and falling down. This could really catch on. I'm working on the first issue now. It'll be a twofer purchase with the first issue of the Conduit. Suckers.

I can see your dirty pillows. Everyone will.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

I've always tried to be a bit of an ideas man (see: Mega-Blinds) but ever since Pitchmen came on TV, I've been dying to come up with an invention that I can market on TV. Sadly, Billy Mays passed away recently, so I don't think they're going to continue the show. But I can't let that stop me. I must press forward with new ideas.

Which brings me to my latest invention. It occurred to me while laying on top of Daniel, blocking his view of the television just how comfortable it is to lay on someone's chest. Why not make a pillow that follows those contours for use all the time? I can't really speak towards a woman's chest, but I assume that most straight men would be deterred from buying a pillow in the shape of another man, even though it is undeniably comfy, so I made some women pillows too.

You can't tell me you wouldn't buy one of these. You could, but you'd be lying. What do you think? I think it's a little better idea than my clip-on pants cuffs. For those days when you realize your jeans are just a little too short to be wearing. You reach into your glove box and pull out your clip-on cuffs and extend your pants an extra inch or two. I'm working on a prototype as we speak. I'll be sure to let you see it. As long as you don't steal it and market it! I'm serious.

I can't believe I stayed up an extra hour to photoshop boobs onto pillow. Wait, maybe I can. Late.

SideshoViD
July 7, 2009

Somebody left some strappy sandals at our house at KaboomTown. Any takers?

SideshoViD
June 7, 2009

just offered Daniel $10 if he could kick the top of the door jam. He failed.

The new job

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I cannot tell you how much satisfaction my new job brings me. I feel like I have actual responsibilities with actual challenges being "managed" by an actual manager. It's pretty fun to look forward to work every day for a change. And to only work 8 hours a day. And to ride the Vespa every day since I won't be required on any construction sites. I just couldn't be happier.

It's also freed up my weekends completely for revelry. I always love it when drunken meandering leads you to random fun. Last weekend Daniel and I found ourselves in the back of a horse-drawn carriage, surrounded by xmas lights, drinking red wine. We went all around the neighborhood zig zagging through buildings, even stopping off at a bar to get topped off with some wine to-go. I must admit we were merely along for the ride while our crazy neighbors made it all happen, but still it was good to be out and about every so slightly breaking the law to turn a good time into a great time. I wanted Daniel to take off on the horse bareback through the park after we watched him get unsaddled, but that probably wasn't as good of an idea as I thought it was right at that moment.

I also have signed on with a new personal trainer at the gym. He's this guy we kind of know from the neighborhood who is giving us a really good deal so we're gonna train 2 or 3 times a week depending on how we like it. Gotta get in shape for St. Thomas.

Did you know we are going to St. Thomas in June -- which is going to be amazing. Then it's off to San Diego in August to watch Owen get married. EEEEEEEE!!1! Then in October we're going to Vegas because we have floor seats to Kylie Minogue's first every North American tour. Couldn't be more excited about that. My dad even got us two free hotel rooms in Vegas with his timeshare for me and my friends. Suck on that.

Sorry about the lack of updates. It'll probably stay this way for a while, I'm completely unmotivated to blog. Maybe I should start twittling or whatever.

SideshoViD
May 15, 2009

is on his way to start his new job, even though his old boss is doing everything he can to sabotage, delay, or otherwise complicate the entire process.

SideshoViD
May 9, 2009

is tasting Addison!

SideshoViD
May 5, 2009

is going to see Flight of the Conchords tonight! Thanks, Scott!

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Today I accepted a job offer. After about 2 years of frustration in my current position, I will be transitioning over to tech support for my company. It's a big move and one I think will result in crazy amounts of job satisfaction. The only downside is that I won't be sitting next to all of my friends, but I'll still be in the same building and we can still go to lunch together, so hopefully that won't be a very big deal. It's been a long time coming and I can't wait to get started. But I don't make the move until May 15.

I don't normally talk about work, but I thought that was at least worthy of a mention. In other news, damn I haven't updated in a while. I'm falling back into that mindset of maybe I should let SideshoViD.com join the annals of history. It doesn't do me any harm to keep it going other than 19 dollars a month, but I just hate stagnant blogs and mine never has been one before. We'll see.

We've had a little bit of fun since the jury duty episode. For one thing, the Allistralian and her then fiance Dom stopped through town. I had them help me hatch an elaborate birthday scheme for Daniel's 25th. A few days prior I had gone and purchased the new Dyson DC25 vacuum as a present, but rather than just giving it to Daniel, I concocted a script with Dom. He came over on a Saturday because Allison was busy at a wedding shower or something. And he brought with him a birthday potted plant. I think it went over so well just because he's British and when he says, "Everyone needs a pot plant," Daniel just took it as normal. Then he said, "But don't water it because it's already been watered." I had asked him to throw that in there because the plan was to knock the dirt on the ground and I really didn't want it to be mud.

So we were spending the day in and out of the apartment by the pool. And when we got back before Daniel, Dom spooned some of the dirt onto the carpet and then exclaimed, "Oh shit Daniel sorry," right as he was coming back in. And just as planned, he ran to get the vacuum. Only our vacuum was gone and replaced with the Dyson. It was pretty classic. He seems to really like his birthday present. Derrr. Wouldn't you? On a sadder note, Allison and Dom have decided to go their separate ways starting right meow. You can read about that on their travel blog whileyouwereworking.com.

Not much else to report at this time. If I think of something, I'm going to try to update a little more going forward. Later, skillets.

Haha you said “duty”

Saturday, April 11, 2009

I cannot for the life of me figure out why people are always trying to get out of jury duty. In my case, at least, I'd always reveled in my ability to skirt my civic duty but only because everyone else was doing the same thing. When I finally stopped to think about it, I realized that jury duty is awesome. And if you're on the bottom rung of a totem pole, not sacrificing your salary, then it's like paid vacation. I was determined right from the beginning to get seated on a jury and campaign to be the foreman.

So you get there and walk into a huge auditorium with thousands of others. And you take an oath and watch an orientation video and then you take a nap. It's supposed to be a cross section of the population and I found it hilariously interesting how true that was. There was just every walk of life in that room. Prime people watching. If you're a people watcher like me, try to get summoned, it was heaven. Everyone has a juror number, mine was #1133. And they call you in groups by your number. So 1-400 go to the fifth floor. But that doesn't mean 400 people are going because only 25% of people answer their jury summons. So I finally got called and I was excited because it was a criminal court -- longer trials.

Then you go upstairs and wait some more. And they're reading through my information card -- age, sex, race -- and compiling a list of 65 out of the 100 or more who are waiting. And the lucky 65 get a clip board with a questionnaire. So I got one. And up to this point is been pure luck, but here's my first real audition. So I start filling out the questions and I think it asked what do you think of the judicial system, what do you think of cops, prosecutors, defense attorneys. And I'm just saying the most bland vanilla things I can. I think it's good, they're good, I have no strong opinion. I answered NO to every single other question that asked if I had been the victim of a crime, known someone who had, had any experience in life that may bias me one way or the other.

And then its into a room for questioning from both the sides. They each get to strike 10 people from being on the jury. So they're trying to find the 10 most opinionated or stupid people by asking pointed questions. The prosecutor asked, "If a bank is robbed but only one person has a gun should everyone involved be charged with armed robbery?" Some people said yes, some people said no. Yours truly said "Well that would depend heavily on the evidence presented. If everyone knew about the gun and it was part of the plan, then yes, but if one guy deviated from the plan and introduced a gun and it can be proven that the others had no prior knowledge, then I would say no." Then the defense attorney got up. He asked me, "What is a reasonable doubt." And I struggled. So he said, "Let me put it this way, if certainty is 100%, what percentage is reasonable doubt?" And I said, "Well, I think maybe the answer you're getting at is 99%? But I'm not sure that even makes sense to quantify that. It's going to rely on concrete evidence and witness testimony lining up in such a way that I'm personally convinced of the truth. But that is going to be unique for each person sitting in this room."

So I'm feeling pretty good. And it worked. I got onto the 12. I was so excited. And I showed up the next day ready to serve but instead all we did was sit in the jury room cracking jokes. 11 lively, funny, and energetic people joined me in this little room and we just had the time of our lives. Around lunch they brought us into the court room and said go home, he took a plea bargain. He had committed 5 robberies at gun point in a short span and had been caught basically red handed. So he was guilty. They were just using us as leverage to get him to take the plea. Afterwards I asked the prosecutor what it was that got us all selected. And she said "Well, it's really a deselection process. None of you said anything to get you deselected." And she pointed out a few examples of things people had said that made them seem impartial. And she added, "And you, Mr. F■■■■. Well, you didn't say ANYTHING that offended ANYONE so you were in like flint." Score.

So I was disappointed to not sit through a long and interesting trial. But I suppose justice was served. I can't wait for my next summons. I'm checking for it daily.

Jury Duty

Monday, March 23, 2009

I haven't blogged in quite some time. And I rarely if ever talk about my job on my blog, but I can't really explain my recent absence without it, so I'm breaking all the rules. I've been assigned to a project that has sucked the joy from my life. If there is something I enjoy doing -- being with Daniel, watching TV, riding my Vespa -- I no longer have time for it. I've been waking up around 5:30am every day, going to a construction site, working 10-12 hours, coming home, and programming or making changes until midnight... only to wake up the next morning and do it again. And this is Monday through Saturday with no end in sight. I've really been on the verge of just not showing up ever again, but so far have persevered.

But today, a ray of sunshine broke through the clouds. I got summoned for jury duty!

I've been summoned several times in the past, but it was always in Collin County. And I haven't lived in Collin County for quite some time. So all I had to do was go to their website, check the box that said I didn't live there, and submit, and I was exempt. But I think voting may have set their records straight so today I got it for Dallas County. So its the first time that I actually have to go. Normally, I'd be dodging it like everyone else, but with my job sucking as bad as it is right now, I'm seriously excited. And with only an up-side to being selected, I will be doing whatever it takes to get on that jury. I will say whatever they want to hear. They're going to have to DRAG me from that courtroom if they don't choose me.

Really when you think about it, it is kind of cool to be on a jury. Like watching an episode of SVU and deciding the outcome. Most people just avoid it because its a total pain in the ass. But if you've got nowhere better to go, might as well, sit back, relax, and enjoy the drama. It's not until April 6th, so I've just got to last until then. But I'll be sure to let you all know how my selection process goes.

SideshoViD
March 23, 2009

might be the only person bubbling with excitement and anticipation over his jury duty summons.

SideshoViD
March 15, 2009

will fly to Missouri next time.

SideshoViD
March 14, 2009

is riding to Kansas City.

Don’t Ever Leave ME AGAIN

Friday, March 6, 2009

It has occurred to me recently that I don't really update my webpage all that often. And when I do, I don't really feel as though I have those golden nuggets of wisdom nearly as often as I used to. And I'm going to be honest with you. I thought about ending SideshoViD.com. As much as I try to entertain my loyal Sidesho Viewers, its really more just a journal for me. I thought I could save it to my hard drive and just call that a chapter of life.

Then SideshoViD.com went away.

I thought at first that it was Earthlink's problem. My website and my email were both broken so I shrugged it off and ignored it as I so often do with life's little problems. But after 3 days of consecutive down time I started to get worried. So I checked to make sure they were still billing me. And they were not. I hadn't paid for my website since November. Oops. So I called them and asked them why I wasn't notified that my payment was past due and they said they tried to contact me at @aol.com and at my parent's old house phone number. So I was like yeah, maybe its time to update my account information. 24 hours later, we are back in business.

My first reaction to learning that my website had been canceled for non-payment was to blog about it and complain. And I couldn't. So then I thought, ooh, that would be a good blog too, about how I want to blog and I can't. But I couldn't. It was like when the electricity goes out in your house, but you still flick every light switch in every room and are momentarily surprised and upset that the lights don't come on before you remember the electricity's out. Yeah. That. That's the metaphor for how I felt about no longer having this outlet. Sudden bursts of panic.

So even though I'm not funny any more. Even though I don't have any readers any more. Even though I can't get comments anymore because of spam. SideshoViD.com isn't going ANYWHERE.

SideshoViD
March 1, 2009

's homebrewed beer wallops a hell of a hangover for moderate consumption

SideshoViD
February 28, 2009

is counting down the remaining 5 hours in Febrehabruarv

Febrehabruarv Day 27: 5.35 miles to go

Friday, February 27, 2009

By g*d, I think I've done it. I am about to head to the gym to run a measly 3 miles leaving me a cake walk to victory tomorrow. I don't want to sound too confident because my knees could still blow out at the last minute, but I think its safe to say this is a victory. I'm pretty excited ... about never running again.

I'm also excited about drinking some of my home brew on Saturday. I put all 50 bottles in the fridge last night so they'd be nice and cold by the time we were ready to drink them. Serious party time.

So my home office is coming along nicely. I ordered my second monitor when it went on sale last week. I originally had planned on having 3 22 inch monitors, but I think for now 2 will be enough. It's not just enough desktop space, its damn near too much. I can barely mouse over from one side to the other without picking up the mouse halfway in between to get more traction. Not to mention the physical size of the monitors. I don't know if there's any way that 3 could even fit on the desk that I have. It is an impressive sight though. So impressive I think I'll post a picture for you. Catch you skillets on the flip side ... deeerunk. Peace.

Febrehabruarv Day 5: 81.06 miles to go

Thursday, February 5, 2009

What a wonderful Febrehabruarv it's been so far. Without any dietary restrictions, the transition has been pretty seamless. I could most definitely go for a beer after the week I've had, but that temptation will be easy to avoid. The only hard part is that I have a bathtub full of beer bottles containing the most delicious brew you've ever tasted.

Saturday night Daniel and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary that just so happens to coincide with the onset of Febrehab. So we always do it up right. We had an outrageous meal of tenderloin, Chilean sea bass, ahi tuna, and lobster, accentuated with many "very, very, very dirty Grey Goose martinis with just a *splash* of vermouth and 3 blue cheese stuffed olives" (write that down). We got home feeling rather toasty and decided to pop open a few of the homebrew beers that I bottled a week prior. They weren't technically aged to fruition just yet but we figured what the hell. AND IT WAS SO GOOD. I'm not just saying that because I brewed it. It might be the best beer I've ever had. I can't wait to try it when its fully aged and chilled and everything. We were drinking it straight from the bathtub. So March 1st everyone come on by and I'll let you have one. I fully intend to brew again.

Then the physical challenge began. I am quite pleased to announce that I have gone running every day so far. This whole 4 miles a day bullshit is nearly impossible. I ran myself sick the second day and had to back off a little the third but now I'm back on pace. I have gone a total of 18.94 miles since Sunday and have no intention of slowing down. I have my progress charted in Excel and I know what I need to average every day for the rest of the month to meet my 100 mile goal and it is daunting. There's no way I'm taking a day off and raising that average.

Every muscle in my body hates me and my knees -- I think -- are about to fall off. But I'm still going strong. Anybody out there participating?

merry belated xristmas

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

My brother just sent out a Picasa album to the family of his trip to Texas. It was a pretty large album detailing Kelsey's birthday parties and all the goings on of a couple different families around the holidays. Daniel was sitting with me as we scrolled through them and eventually got to some that we were both in. Then we stumbled upon the gem of all photos. It might just be my favorite picture of us together ever. We liked it so much, in fact, that we wished we had gotten it months ago so we could have turned it into a heartfelt xristmas card. Well, you know what they say, better late then ... ah fuck it. Merry xristmas!

It’s all custom made … and I design it all myself!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I have a new theory.

All women will one day start a jewelry business. All women.

This occurred to Daniel and me while we were getting ready to watch the latest installment of the Really Desperate Housewives of Orange County. The info described Lynne – who is that? – starting her own jewelry business. This is after Laurie fucked around until she found a man with enough money to fund her jewelry business. And one of the housewives in Atlanta used the money from her husband’s NFL career to start her jewelry business. Not unlike the woman who was at On the Border (or OTB as the cool kids call it) the other night we were eating there when BJs was backed up, hocking her shitty jewelry she had undoubtedly “designed” as part of her startup company.

This is the thing that bothers me. You don’t design jewelry. Stringing beads in different patterns on fishing line is not designing. Massive pieces of turquoise surrounded by coiled wire … how beautiful. And let me guess: it’s all custom-made.

It’s all shit. Sorry, ladies.

Now that some of you know your predisposition towards starting jewelry companies, maybe you can hope to avoid the inevitable. But it’s highly unlikely. Speaking of highly unlikely, I’ve decided what the Febrehabruarv challenge will be. Sometimes I supplement the test of my less-than-iron will with caffeine depravation, or protein depravation … or like the failed Master Cleanse of Febrehabruariv … with food depravation. But this time, it’s a dare. A double dare. A physical challenge!

I will run 100 miles in 28 days.

So let me clarify. We all know my arthritic ass (or knees, as it were) cannot run 1 mile let alone 100. So it is going to be on an elliptical machine. And it averages out to about 4 miles a day, which I’ve timed as taking about an hour. If I go every day and run for an hour on the elliptical machine, I will eventually earn myself a few days off. And therein, I think, lies the key to success. I really think I can do this. And now that it’s on SideshoViD.com it is official. Rawk!

Beer me!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Yesterday morning I awoke with a strange desire to brew my own beer. It's been in the back of my head for a year ever since I brewed some apple cider for Thanksgiving '08, but I can't really say what brought it to the forefront. Never being the one to back down from another potentially disastrous project, I set out to the Homebrew Headquarters in Richardson. They have everything you need there as well as several employees who are MORE than willing to help you out with any questions you may have. Go check them out some time.

So I brought home an Australian Pale Ale. Trey has made it twice and his beer has been fantastic, so I figured why mess with a good thing. And I got some dextrose corn sugar because its more easily fermentable than table sugar. And then I got a bag of light malt extract. That's new, Trey never used that, so hopefully my beer will be way better than his. The can of Australian Pale Ale was actually a thick, molasses like syrup that contained all the hops and barley and some sugars. Adding more sugar = more alcohol, so I didn't mind supplementing.

Mix and boil. That's about the only step after sanitizing everything. And sanitizing requires little more than a bleach water soaking for everything involved. My coworker who is a master brewer once told me, sanitation is important, don't skimp on that step ... but also, bear in mind that people used to brew beer in animal skins over open fires with river water, so don't sweat it too much. Who knows how good their beer (or mead) tasted, but they still succeeded in getting drunk. And isn't that just the whole point?

So I made Daniel stand and stir while I was finishing rinsing the bleach off of everything. My little bitty pot started to boil over -- which we were prepared for -- so as it boiled, we scooped it into another bowl and were planning on boiling the wort in two stages. Pretty stupid, but feasible. So I'm in the bathroom rinsing when I hear, "OH NO!" Daniel was stirring with a plastic spatula and when he pulled it out, it no longer existed. The fucking thing had melted down to a stub. As Keiff later pointed out, the only portion remaining was the part stamped with "Caution: Not Heat Resistant." So there we were with a bowl full of cold wort and a pot full of hot wort and a heaping helping of melted plastic. Down the sink it went as I rushed to my car to speed to Homebrew Headquarters before they closed. And I bought another batch of ingredients ... and a 20 quart stock pot.

The second time, Keiff came over to help and it went rather smoothly. We boiled the wort for 15 minutes until it got this really nice, dark caramel color. Then we cooled it down as best we could in a sink of ice, added 4 more gallons of spring water and poured it into the fermenting bucket. I measured the temperature to be right at 80°F which is pretty ideal for the yeast, so I pitched them in. I was worried about them because they weren't bubbling by the time we went to bed, but this morning, they're burping away. I'm so excited. Keiff wants to make a batch now and I told him we could use my equipment and take turns buying ingredients. In a few weeks, we'll bottle, which is also pretty easy with the equipment I'll be borrowing.

And then it'll be Febrehabruarv. Double-edged sword there. Sure, I won't be able to drink the beer I just worked so hard to produce. But, the beer will also continue to improve with age. You have to wait about a week after bottling so the secondary fermentation in the bottle can carbonate the liquid. But they say if you wait up to a month it'll be worlds better. So that's just what we'll do. Beer tasting party at my house, March 1st. Who's in?

Happy New Year!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I do hope that 2009 has found you well. I've certainly had a helluva start. My two week long vacation is ending tomorrow and I just don't know how I am going to cope with it. I've had a good couple of weeks though.

First, my entire family came into town. I currently have 5 nieces and 2 nephews, and was just informed that there's another on the way! It was really fun to play with all of them and give them crappy gifts that they loved. Although, I will admit that the Hannah Montana electric guitar I got for my niece Kelsey was pretty rocking, even though it's already broken. So we did the whole xristmas thing and I spent more than a few nights driving between Addison and Allen to my parents new ridiculously large house. I got wine from my brother in the gift exchange and now the wine fridge is respectably stocked. And I got the new Nikon Coolpix camera from my parents. I highly recommend this little gadget. It is so freaking advanced. I guess when you only buy one camera every decade, they're bound to improve slightly.

The other reason everyone came was for my parents surprise 35th wedding anniversary. We'd been planning it for like a year (I helped a little) and had some extended family and a lot of old family friends hiding in the banquet room at Sneaky Pete's in Lewisville. Then when my parents came in with my sister for what they thought was an oddly dressy, far drive to Lake Lewisville just for dinner, everyone yelled HAPPY ANNIVERSARY and the merriment proceeded. DJ iMernex even DJed the party which was pretty fun. There was "free" beer and wine so I think everyone managed to have a good time and I know my parents really appreciated it. And I got the buffet leftovers so Daniel and I ate chicken and roast beef for a week.

Then we did xristmas with Daniel's family over at our apartment. His mom made filet mignon wrapped in puff pastry with some sort of filling. It was really good. We were in charge of vegetables so we served leftover green beens and potato wedges from the anniversary party. Waste not. Then we did a little gift exchange. His dad gave me a really cool shirt and a fedora that I adore. I think his sister helped pick it out, but it's pretty bangin. And I gave his brother guitar picks, guitar strings, and a guitar strap. And he was perfectly gracious even though I thought he might be like, "I don't have a guitar, you dick." But then I surprised him with the guitar I had wrapped up in the other room. It wasn't easy getting all that on the budget that was set but I managed to do it. g*d, I love pawn shops now.

Then there was New Year's Eve. We had a bunch of people over. There was a lot of food, dancing, tons of booze. We really had a good time. Gotta tell you though, it's that time of the year when Febrehabruarv starts sounding really good to me. I was thinking that maybe I wanted to do that master cleanse again, but then I read my blog from last year and decided against it. All the descriptions of sleepless nights, heart palpitations, and incessant heartburn jogged some memories I'd obviously repressed. Maybe in another year. I think I'll hearken back to the febrehabs of yesteryear when it was easy and fun, good clean living.

I think that brings us up to speed. Happy 2009, bitches. See you around..

Scene It?

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Can I please tell you about my new favorite game -- Scene It? Seinfeld Edition. I'd been thinking about buying it ever since the first commercial came on TV, but I had no real reason to get up and go. Until one night when me and Keiff were sitting around drinking beers, bored, and I was like, yup, let's go to WalMart.

The reason this game is so fun is because its kind of like playing Trivial Pursuit. But instead of questions like, "In 1934, this Olympic curler became the first woman to win two silver medals," they have questions like, "What was Elaine referring to when she told Jerry, 'You can read the paper through the whole thing.'" And then you feel smart because during the hours each day that you could be reading and learning, expanding your mind and working toward the betterment of all of humanity, you're vegged out on the couch with a tempurpedic neck pillow watching syndicated episodes of Seinfeld you've already seen 12 times. Oh wait. Maybe that's just me.

Then again, the real reason I may like it so much is that I am currently undefeated. I'm not saying I'm undefeatable, because it's been real, real close a few times. But I always seem to luck out on the question for the win. The other night I was so desperate to play that I made Daniel play with me. Just the two of us. It wasn't really as much fun as it is with 3 or more. There's less of a penalty for getting something wrong because it'll just be your turn next anyway. But it was still pretty funny. The clips are all hilarious.

So if you're looking for a holiday party game this year, and you watch more TV 5pm-6pm and 10pm-11pm than any of your friends, I would highly recommend some Scene It? Seinfeld.

P.S. If this isn't the blog to display the Sidesho Seinfeld logo I made 8 years ago, I don't know what is.

It’s beginning to look a lot like xristmas

Friday, November 28, 2008

Since our last underwater adventure, a few things have happened. First of all, I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I wouldn't call it Turkey Day because we didn't have turkey. I'm still not sure how I feel about that. Daniel's mother had a wonderful spread for us consisting of all kinds of seafood -- her oyster stuffing is amazing. But part of me longs for the days of College Station Thanksgiving extravaganzas with all the traditional fanfare. Maybe I'll go buy a turkey on sale today and cook it and immediately turn it into sandwiches.

Daniel and I have already exchanged our xristmas presents for each other. I got him a Whirlpool Duet Steam Washer. And he got me a Whilrpool Duet Steam Dryer. They are pretty badass. Tuscan chestnut is the color. And it does everything automatically. You don't have to tell it how big the load is or how long to wash or dry it. It has "sixth sense" technology and just knows. And the washer is an energy star appliance and the estimated yearly operating costs (based on the assumption of 8 loads a week) is $13. So yeah it's gonna pay for itself in just a few decades. I'm not suggesting everyone run out and buy one because it's far greener to just keep using what you've got, but if you're in the market for a washer and dryer and you're a baller, I would highly recommend the Whirlpool.

And our xristmas lights have been up for a few days even though we've resisted the urge to turn them on. Today is the day we'll fire them up. I went to Target one day to buy some dinosaurs for my nephew's birthday and I saw their lights. And they had "soft white spheres" LEDs. I loved em so I bought them just to show Daniel. And the next time I came home, he had taken floral wire, and wired each individual bulb to the window screen spaced out evenly. And it looks so cool. So we bought 5 more strands and did all the windows. Can't wait to turn em on and leave em on for the rest of the year. They should use so little electricity, I don't see why not.

This month has been rather sparse for me blog wise. I'm sorry that robots forced me to turn off all the comments on all the blogs. Hopefully they won't find this one right away, so you'd better leave em fast. Peace!

Water, water everywhere

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Tuesday morning I woke up and stumbled into the bathroom. I turned on my beloved space heater to start getting the bathroom up to 80° because I hate showering in the cold. I turned the water all the way to hot and then brushed my teeth, got undressed, flexed in the mirror a few times, brushed my hair the opposite way I slept and watched it stand straight up. All just a typical morning. Only this morning, when I went to get into the shower, the water wasn't hot yet. But it was warm so I got in and waited for it to heat up the rest of the way.

That's when Daniel busted down the door and screamed, "DAVID! THE WHOLE APARTMENT IS FLOODED!"

So I jumped out of the shower (which is way safer than jumping in the shower) and frantically dried off. In hindsight now, I see that when someone tells you there's been a flood, there's really no point to drying off when you get out of the shower. Anyway, I ran into the bedroom, all was fine. Out into the hallway, and I heard *squish* *squish* *squish*. The carpet was soaked through. So we squished out towards the kitchen. The *squish* turned to *splash*. There were 3 inches of standing water everywhere. The hot water heater had ruptured in the middle of the night and sprayed hot water on to the ceiling, which then rained down on the laundry room, seeped out and flooded the apartment. It must have been going on for hours for the amount of water that was everywhere. On the plus side, it was hot water, so it felt really good walking around in it.

We managed to get the water off and then called the emergency maintenance line. They were there pretty quickly to replace the water heater. Then a couple hours later a guy was there vacuuming up the water. He cut up the carpet and removed the saturated pad and then laid the carpet back down on the concrete. Industrial blowers and dehumidifiers were going for 2 days. We got put up in a furnished guest apartment here that had one shitty full sized bed in it that Daniel and I barely managed to share. And we had to have everything but big furniture off the carpeted areas before they would replace it. So the contents of our apartment were loaded into the bathrooms and kitchen. But Thursday they came and put down new padding and carpet and we finished moving back in yesterday. So, I'd say that 4 days is not too shabby for a turnaround from that.

Amazingly, nothing we own was damaged. The water was just soaking into the carpet by all of our electronics and they didn't get wet. Our clothes were in the closet that didn't allow water to seep through. Just the carpets were ruined. None of our doors work because all the baseboards have swollen so much, but I've been fixing that with a wood rasp. The front door is metal though, so I think we just have to slam it from now on. And that is my exciting news. How have you been?

Motoring

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Holy hell the Vespa is fixed. It only took 6 months, but they were finally able to find the problem. It actually took me losing my temper to get the job done. But I'm not sure I'm taking that as a life lesson. I was exceedingly patient throughout the entire process, and while it didn't necessarily shoot me to the top of their to-do list, it definitely ended up with them liking me. So now I feel like if I needed something I could just call them up because I know them now. They ended up finding a leak in the engine so they took the whole thing apart. And while they were in there they found the oil shaft was not properly tightened down and was just floating around, occasionally floating in the way of the gear shifter which explained another leak and the difficulty changing gears.

Now that it's all fixed, I'm a much better driver. Not only was the bike keeping me from doing things correctly, but it kept me from thinking I could do things correctly. It's amazing what a little confidence will do for you. Now that it works I can shift smoothly and seamlessly and accelerate like a normal person. Some of it wasn't my fault and that feels really good. I rode to work all 5 days last week. The weather has just been made for motoring. I think I might take a nice long ride today, too.

In other news we did The Walk with Hanson. One mile barefoot across the SMU campus. It was to raise awareness of the plight of people in developing nations who truly cannot afford shoes. And let me tell you this -- walking barefoot sucks. I mostly hung back and just participated in the walk but Lindsey was determined not to let this opportunity slip through her fingers. So she went about meeting each of the brothers. Zac is her favorite and she's been wanting to meet him her entire life so when the chance to sidle of next him arrived, she took it. And what she meant to say was, "Oh gosh, I've wanted to meet you since I was eleven." What came out of her mouth was, "Seven oh gosh." To which he replied, "Seven oh gosh?" and Lindsey, realizing she'd just gone over a precipice just said, "Yup." and Zac jogged ahead a little bit.

So not exactly what she'd envisioned but it didn't matter because she met all 3 of them and then we went to their concert at the House of Blues and they rocked. So mission accomplished. Another reason we walked barefoot to see how bad it is is to encourage people to do something about it. I've talked about them before but TOMS Shoes gives one pair of shoes to a kid in a poor nation for every pair that you buy. And they're pretty stylish. And I finally bought a pair -- the green madras ones. Very cool. They're not high quality shoes, obviously, but they're cool and comfortable, and make you feel smug. So check em out.

America! Fuck Yeah!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

I am home again. After another full day of travel I finally landed back in Dallas a whole 3 hours earlier than I was supposed to. As was the theme of the traveling this time, my original flight home was canceled by the time I was ready to get on it. I got to see Daniel and I gave him his new pants (underwear) and lounge pants (pajama pants) from Peter Alexander, a poncy (fancy) little underwear shop in downtown Sydney. He looks awful smart in them. And my brother was in town for his last day of a business conference, so he took me to Kenny's! What a welcome home!

During my last week in Sydney, Al and I had some fun adventures. First we both went to get our hair did. I love the chick that cut my hair. She went to town on it. Allison called it classic Aussie metro. Then she got her hair dyed back to her natural color and got a real sassy short do. She's traveling for the next 13 months through lots of countries that don't appreciate blondes to any degree, so this haircut should last her through it. After we got all dolled up, we went to Al's leaving do (party) at the Fire House Hotel (pub (bar)) in North Sydney. She has lots of wonderful friends. But it was weird how they want back and forth and around the table and every single one of them was like "Well, it's just like when I lived in the UK for 6 months prior to my year of traveling around southeast Asia." And another would chime in, "Oh yeah, when I lived in the Carribean, I spent a year touring before I got my residency in Australia." And I'm just like who are you transient people? All of them have been all over the world, lived all over the world, and I'm just like Addison! rules!

But it was a really fun party. Two of the girls were especially fun and they called Daniel early in the morning while he was at work and tried to convince him they were Kylie and Danni Minogue. Even tho the accents were pretty authentic, he didn't fall for it. Shucks.

My last day there we took a guided tour of the Hunter Valley (the Aussie Napa Valley). We went to like 5 or 6 different cellar doors and drank some very good wine. I ended up buying 4 bottles, I think, but we drank some before I left. I brought home 3 bottles and some aged goat cheese from some Hunter Valley goats. So ridiculously good. And the Shiraz is just ... huge. I can't even explain it. That was major fun. So we did that, picked up Noodle Star take away (to go) and ate it with the shiraz. And then the next day I left.

So here I am. I do not work until next Tuesday, nor do I intend to check my work email or answer my work phone until then. So if anybody wants to hang out and tan or something, let me know. It's summer again for me and I intend to take advantage this week. Laaaaaaaaate.

2008 Sydney Games

Sunday, August 10, 2008

I'll probably curse the day I bought the PedEgg soon enough. Each night when I'm finished using it, I marvel at how soft my feet are. And then the next morning I think to myself, "I could just run it over them one more time to be sure." And wouldn't you know it? They get even softer. I can see somewhere in the near future of both soles of my feet being one massive abbrasion. But it's so worth it. Daniel won't let me use it on him because he claims his hard earned calloused feet are the reason he is able to wear uncomfortable shoes. But I just know I could take a good quarter of an inch off.

In other news, I went to visit my motorcycle accident havin' coworker at his house. He's home from the hospital. All the scary stuff about fluid in lungs and broken ribs is past him. His color has returned and he's in generally good spirits. He has a titanium rod in one leg and then he had two broken ankles, one of which was operated on and still has no feeling. But he just has two boots on and has to use a wheelchair to get around. So all in all, not too bad. I try to cheer him up with stories of own infirmary and give him hints on how to keep from getting bored. But he refuses to take pain medication of any kind, so my top 3 ideas were just shot to hell. I wish there was more I could do to help but it'll just take time.

Speaking of motorcycles, I took the Vespa in AGAIN. They're going to look at it AGAIN. This time they think they know what's wrong. They called Vespa and described the symptoms and they were quite sure this is the only bike in the world that has ever exhibited these characteristics. Yeeeaaahhh, custom baby. They said if I dropped it off before I went to Australia that they would have it fixed by the time I got home. I don't believe them, but it's worth a shot. So I took it to them on Saturday morning. Man, was it a beautiful morning to ride. I was sorry to drop it off.

And lastly, I'm going to Australia. OMG. It's coming to fast. Since I'm not very good at planning a trip in advance, I encourage you all to leave me a comment with something you think I should do while I'm there. So far all I've thought of is getting a picture of me in front of the Sydney Operahouse. So that's already covered. Also, any advice for how to survive a 14 hour flight would also be appreciated. Thaaaaaanks.

PedEgg

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Tonight I went to Bed, Bath & Beyond to buy a few things for my trip to Australia. The 14 hour flight is really starting to intimidate me. So I bought a Tempur-pedic neck pillow. I was going to buy a face mask, but I decided mine was probably good enough. And I bought a travel size of moisturizer because my hands always get so dry on a plane. Daniel was making fun of me that everything I was buying screamed old lady, so I kept saying, "Man I hope my mom likes all these gifts for her," as we walked around.

But you know me; I can't be in a store like that and not end up just wandering around looking for something to buy. And then I happened upon the as-seen-on-TV PedEgg. I've wanted to give one of these babies a test drive for a while. When we got home, I quickly assembled it and ran to the bathroom to try it out.

A little background story: Ever since my last knee surgery when I relearned how to walk, I've disproportionately distributed my weight onto my right foot. And it doesn't land exactly straight, so I developed this really thick callous on the inside of my right big toe. All the pumus stones and files of the world couldn't decrease it. Well, folks, I am ecstatic to announce that after a mere minute with the PedEgg, that rough, calloused skin is now soft and smooth. Same with my dry, cracked heels. They are completely healed! It's amazing! It completely works just as it is seen on TV, down to the parmesan cheese left inside to empty into the trash can -- vomit enducing. And you can just grate against your skin as hard as you want, and it only removes the thinnest layer of skin without any pain.

It's been a long time since I've purchased a product that worked this well. I think everyone should run out right now and buy a PedEgg. As an added bonus, when you're not using it on your feet, you can grate cheese with it. There. I helped you out!

BDay Replay

Monday, July 21, 2008

It's been a while since I've updated. My apologies. I just returned from Las Vegas celebrating my brother Stephen's 30th birthday. It was a pretty big deal. The entire trip was kept a secret from him up until I took him and his wife to the airport. And then on top of that, it was another secret that me and my other brother, Michael, were on our way to the airport separately to meet and surprise him with our presence. It was pretty fun sneaking up behind him in the casino while he played video poker. After so many months of preparation, it was such a relief for the big reveal.

So we spent two days gambling, drinking, laying out by the pool, having some very fine high dollar meals, and seeing the Beatles LOVE show. Highly recommend. Also highly recommend Planet Hollywood. It's recently been redone and it is so nice. Nicer than the Bellagio, in my humble opinion. Crazy times.

His birthday was a little bigger deal than mine. I tried to keep the invite casual (I wanted to type "cas" as in short for "casual" there but I'm not sure how to spell it). I didn't even have a place for people to RSVP because I didn't want to get excited that anyone was coming. Daniel was kind of annoyed with me as we got ready to go out to the bar because he was hurrying me along and I was saying what's the point, no one's coming. He was like you always get this way on your birthday. So we got there, and DJ iMernex had reserved us a table. And then we sat. And sat. And sat. And no one came. Daniel was frantically texting people trying to get them to come to no avail. Finally before I called it quits I texted Keiff cause he had said he would try to make it after moving all day and he was on his way over. So hurray! Saved the day. Then we blew that hot dog stand and invited Lindsey over like we should have all along. Lesson learned. Next year, no party ... he said again.

My Harley riding coworker got in a really bad motorcycle accident this weekend. He has two broken ankles, a broken femur, broken ribs, and road rash. I think I need to go get some safety gear before I ride anymore. I'm paranoid now. Not that I wasn't before, but you get the point.

So good times, not much to report from the real world. Gearing up for Australia, dreading the 14 hour flight. But definitely excited. I'll keep you posted.

Shish-Ka-Boom

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Our annual 3rd of July KaboomTown extravaganza, this year called Shish-Ka-Boom, was a huge success. I got off work pretty early and hit the grocery store on the way home. I picked up some beef shish-ka-bobs that were already skewered with vegetables. So much easier than trying to figure out the process on my own. And as an added bonus, the bargain expired meat bin is never without a few shish-ka-bobs, so a couple packages of them were half off -- just because they'd turned grey!

Then for dessert, I bought a huge thing of strawberries and a Sara Lee pound cake. I cut the strawberries in half and cut the cake into little cubes. Then I put them on bamboo skewers. I whipped some fresh cream with sugar and vanilla. And made a chocolate ganache out of Giardelli chocolate chips, two shots of real espresso, a teaspoon and a half of vanilla, and a little bit of fresh cream. I sprinkled the plate of dessert shish-ka-booms with a few random blueberries just so it would be red, white and blue. It was so delicious. I really think Ina might have approved of this spread.

Then we all watched the spectacular fireworks and got drunk. Not a single fight this year! So proud of all of our friends. Now tonight its time to switch modes to birthday celebration. My birthday is tomorrow so I arranged a little get together at a bar here in Addison. I purposely didn't put and RSVP thing on it because I'd rather just go out there with Daniel and drink a few beers and see who shows up. I didn't want to get a bunch of positive RSVPs and then be left at the bar alone crying. Set the bar low and be pleasantly surprised if it rocks. That's my new mantra.

So anyway, if you want to come, give me a ring and I'll disclose the secret location.

Hiphopopotamus

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I had a couple of firsts today. I've been riding the Vespa to work every day. I'm currently averaging 85 miles per gallon and I went an entire week without driving my car once. I'm over the learning curve hump and am actually starting to relax a little bit on my hog and enjoy the open air. I'm still cautious, though, because I check the weather every morning before I ride to make sure it isn't going to rain. Today's forecast said a 30% chance of rain, so off I went putting down the street. By lunch time the sky was starting to darken, so I ran out the door, hopped on my scooter and sped off as fast as I could toward home. My plan was to get home and drive my car right back.

I made it as far as Midway before the sky all around me turned black. Gale force winds blew leaves high in the air in swirling patterns and threw me from my balance a few times. I was already going slow, but I kept having to slam on the brakes and put my feet down. Not just to catch my balance but to then brace myself against the blast. It was so scary. And yet for some reason I was laughing and enjoying myself. When it finally started to rain, I pulled into the first parking lot I came to and ran inside. It was a delightful office furniture store with a very friendly staff. They advised me to park under the alcove of the front door so my scooter wouldn't blow over. One tree fell on a guy's car when I was there. It was an insane storm that only lasted about 30 minutes. But we all were like away from the windows and fearing the worst. When it cleared a bit I ran the gauntlet back home and all was well.

But it was the first time I've ridden my Vespa in a tornado. And hopefully the last.

My next first was when I got home from work. I decided to go by myself to a hip-hop dance class. My gym offers a different class every night and they're all free. So I've decided to attend them all. I have kick boxing on Thursday. Hip-hop dance was pretty fun. It was basically an instructor trying to teach me and 3 fat women how to do a dance routine. Only we were all terrible so it easily filled the entire hour. I wasn't too too bad, even though the kick-ball-change took me a while to get down. I'm definitely not a hip-hop dancer by trade. It doesn't lend itself well to my clear-a-one-arm-radius-in-front-of-the-mirror dance style. Even so, I still warned Daniel that when I got home, he was getting served.

She said next week we should bring a friend because we're going to be battling. Who's in?

Uno mas cerveza, por favor, seniorita

Sunday, June 8, 2008

I just got back from a week in San Antonio. I was there to take a training class for work. It was from 8-5 every day in the hotel I was staying at next to the airport. Needless to say I was bored out of my gourd. I took this picture as I was checking out of my hotel room because I thought it rather succinctly summed up my entire trip. People in my training course were kind of laughing at me because I was eating each night at places like Papadeaux's and Applebee's. They thought I should get out and experience the local fare. But I was just like, c'mon, I'm from Dallas. It's not like San Antonio is a foreign country. If I managed to find something uniquely San Antonio it would just be a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place with meat, cheese, and tortillas combined in a variety of ways. So I opted to eat at places I liked, albethem chain restaurants, because it was free. And that made it special.

So I made it through the week with little incident. Last night Daniel and I went with JennyC■■■ to see the new Sex and the City movie. It was fantastic. If you haven't seen it yet, you definitely should. We went to the Studio Movie Grill to watch it so we could get loaded at the same time. But ultimately, the same thing happened to me that always happens there. I end up having to pee so bad by the time the movie's over that I have a hard time sitting still. But I made it through. There was one thing about the movie that pissed me off. And it's not a spoiler, but if you don't want to know anything about the movie don't read this next part. So Charlotte adopted that little Chinese girl, right? And what did she name her? Lily. How many times have I said that I'm adopting a little Asian girl and naming her Lily because I want violin music while I eat? But I also always said that if I had another little girl, I would name her Rose. Not so much because of the obvious floral reference, but because I like the really old-timey names. Okay, so Charlotte has a baby and they name it Rose. So now if I ever by some fluke of nature have two daughters, and name them Lily and Rose, people will be like, oh yeah from Sex and the City. And that will piss me off. So I'm having my tubes tied.

In other news, the Allistralian came back to the states for a visit. She is leaving Australia soon and convinced me that it's now or never if I want to go visit her. So Daniel and I are going to Australia. For REAL this time. No joke. It'll probably be somewhere in the August range. It's gonna be a pretty baller ass vacation, but that's okay because those are the kinds of vacations we need to be taking. I'll keep you all posted on details of that. If anyone would like to go with, the more people we have the easier that 12 hour flight will be. Lemme know. Peace out.

Pump It Upscale

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I just got back from my first workout at my new gym. It's the newest addition to the Circle and it is probably the best gym ever. For a long time I was at Lifetime. I liked the marble floors and waterfalls. And I also liked that every member of the gym was a fat old man, so I had, like, the best body of anybody there. But ultimately the $54 a month got to be too much and I opted for the $0 a month Addison Parks & Rec gym. It's pretty nice, and definitely worth the price, but the lack of free weights I think has severely hindered me from obtaining a real Osteo Biflex body.

So when the gym here got bought out and remodled I decided to give it another try. I'd toured it once before and it didn't have any amenities significantly better than the ones I already had. All that has changed though. The machines that they have are all brand new and like top of the line, state of the art. Every piece of the leg lift machine adjusts. And I hate to sound like a commercial for this machine, but I really felt it targeting the muscles. I was also able to do way more weight. Presumably because I wasn't struggling against an un-oiled bar and sticky belt. So I was totally impressed there. Plus a full line of free weights to kick it up a notch.

But the best part ... I forgot about her face! That's the best part! ... is the cardio equipment. I can't even tell you. Every piece of equipment has it's own TV. And those TVs have FULL CABLE. I was watching the Food Network (I forgot my headphones so I was able to stomach Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee ... hey, wow you poured store bought pie filling into a store bought pie crust. I wanna fuckin' watch that) and before I knew it 20 minutes had gone by when I'd only intended to do a 5 minute warm up. Yes, this could be the difference between Fat David and Marginally Fat David. I no longer have to choose between American Idol and working out. The gym is so close I could even run there during a commercial and not miss a beat -- another major plus. It's so hard to motivate myself to get BACK into the car to fight traffic the OTHER way I just came from as soon as I get home. Now I can just walk.

Man, I can't say enough good things about this gym. But don't join it. Because I don't want it to get crowded. Thanks.

Windy days on winding roads

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I successfully rode the Vespa to work this week. It was a little unnerving at first, but once I got going, it was pretty comfortable. It did highlight the fact that I need to buy some gloves. 50 degrees doesn't sound cold until you're moving through it at 45mph. My hands hurt by the time I got to work. But I did it. On the way home it was so windy that I had a hard time balancing, so I found an alternate route home that took me entirely through residential streets. It took nearly 45 minutes, but it was way preferrable to braving the high winds on a major thoroughfare. I only did it one day because there has been questionable weather and high winds predicted every day this week, but I think it could become my main transportation throughout the summer months.

Daniel has been in Atlanta all week. Sunday was his birthday and he had to fly out for some training for his new job. Unfortunately, by the time his flight landed he was sick. He's had to miss out on most of the activities and just lie in bed. Being in a different city for work is bad enough. Not being able to drink must make it near unbearable. He comes home tomorrow though, which I'm pretty excited about. TV isn't any fun to watch when no one is there to hear your snide remarks.

Speaking of TV, I made another as-seen-on-TV purchase! Stephen's daughter's birthday is coming up in July and he said she would really like the Roll 'n Grow. The commercial shows a green foam pad that you roll out, water, and then an insane amount of flowers bloom from it. I hate to disappoint her this early in life by her finding out that not everything works like they show in the commercials, but I also hate to disappoint myself by not buying it for her. So I had to get it. She'll be excited to open it I'm sure. And as with every stupid purchase I make -- who knows? -- maybe it does work. We got on the topic because 20/20 did a big scientific study of Kinoki Pads. The bastards must have been reading my blog and stealing ideas. They couldn't get the company to produce any lab results to back up their claims. But I think the most telling demonstration was when they put distilled water on the pads and they turned brown. No labs could find any traces of toxins or heavy metals or whatever else they claim. Too bad, I was really hoping this would be a cure all for the human race. I guess the hunt is still on.

So I need another suggestion for TV purchases. The AeroGarden that Thommi suggested it a wonderful idea. It's a little expensive for an impulse buy, but then again, my birthday is just around the corner and I do love getting myself a little something special.

I need to go clean the apartment. As I guessed would happen, my intentions to keep the apartment pristine while Daniel was away failed miserably and now I have to make up for it within the next few hours. Late.

MPD, get with it

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Miles per gallon is out. Miles per dollar is in. It's really pretty irrelevant how far you can go on a tank of gas, because all anybody ever does is use that number to try and figure out how much it's going to cost them to get somewhere. Instead we should all be talking in MPD.

In my perfect world, when the metal from the nozzle at the gas pump contacts the metal surrounding your tank, it acts as a datalink to upload to your car the price of the gas. Then you hit a button on your dash and it can show you in real time what your current MPD is. Well in lieu of that, I've done the next best thing -- an Excel spreadsheet. Yay! And since I'm not super interested in my car, I'm just going to keep track of the Vespa. I'm dangerously near riding it to work every day.

My coworker rode his massive $20k Harley Davidson motorcycle over here on Tuesday and we went to a parking lot where he taught me how to ride a motorcycle. From the conversations at work we'd had, he could tell I was pretty clueless about motorcycles, manual transmissions, clutches, engines, throttles ... the list goes on. So we went to a parking lot near here. He stood in the middle and I rode circles around him. And each time he would give me a different assignment. Give it no gas, but let the clutch out slowly. Give it no gas and let the clutch out fast. Give it a little gas, a little clutch. You get the point. He was trying to help me figure out the role of each. And I think it really, really helped.

My problem was that I couldn't get going fast enough. People got impatient as I went from first gear, to neutral accidentally, back to first, hit the brakes, stalled out, went to second, and then 10 minutes later was going 30mph. But I think that's fixed. I just took the ol' girl out to get some gas and purposely picked a gas station that is a few 45mph road blocks away from here. And I did superb. A guy at the pump complimented my scooter and we talked about gas mileage. And that is what spawned this entire blog.

Now, I'll grant you that the Vespa came with a complimentary tank of gas upon purchase, so my numbers are going to be a little skewed as to the performance of the motor (although accurate in real life). But I have gone 67 miles so far. And I've spent $2.12. That gives us a grand total of 31.6 MPD and $0.03 DPM. Oh my g*d, I love being green. Calculate your own MPD and post it.

No Hands for Old Men

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Old men confuse me. Maybe there's a magic age at which everything they do starts to make sense and I just haven't reached it yet. Perhaps on my 30th birthday everything will become clear. One thing that has always confused me is how old men insist on being naked in the locker room at the gym. Don't get me wrong; I'm no prude. I strip down to go into the sauna. The key difference is that almost immediately after disrobing, I wrap a towel around my waist to spare people the blinding reflection off my ass. Old men strip down, weigh themselves, wash their face, look in the mirror, talk to other old men, and then and only then do they throw a towel over their shoulder and flop over to the steam room. I don't get it. What's the fascination with being naked? Have their wives banned the practice at home for so many years that the only way to get the liberating sensation of free balling around a room is in a men-only environment? Do I have any old man readers that can explain this? Do I have any young readers that get a thrill from streaking?

I had to add another confusing trait to my quandary today at work. We have several old men there and they all share a perplexing act in another all-male venue -- the bathroom. They pee without using their hands. I've seen them put both hands up on the wall in front of them. Hands on the hips is also a very popular tactic. Today topped it all though. The new old guy was peeing with both hands in his pockets. How is this even possible? Do they just not care anymore if their stream wanders off onto the floor? Is there some sort of rigor that sets in after 40 that allows for steady hands-free aiming? It's so bizarre. Please, somebody, help me understand. Do I need to start practicing now for old age?

A better advertisement for Kinoki Pads

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Last night I tried my Kinoki Foot Pads for the first time. After a night of significant drinking, I decided their first test would be to draw my hangover out of my body while I slept so I would awake feeling refreshed. Daniel tried a pair too. An hour before bed we washed our feet in the bathtub and even ran a pumice stone on our soles to try and open up a path for toxins.

You open the pad, apply it to this big adhesive sheet and then stick the whole thing on the bottoms of your feet. We decided to put socks on over the pads so they wouldn't come off and that ended up being a good decision because they kind of leak. I immediately felt something. I'll grant you that I was drunk, but there was a tingling sensation. So I was gaining confidence that maybe they didn't do nothing. In the morning, my socks were a little bit brown from the Kinoki juice that leaked out. I wouldn't call it a confirmation, but I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would. I should have had a regular sized hangover, but it was less. So much so that I went to the grocery store and cooked us a really big breakfast of pancetta and fontina cheese omlette croissant sandwiches. You don't make up recipes that unless you've been revitalized in mind and body.

I have to say, though, that the biggest testimony to their effectiveness is that Daniel got up at 10:30 in the morning. A mere 8 hours after we had gone to bed. This is, like, at least 4 hours earlier than usual. I think they might work. The test will be to see if they get lighter and lighter as I use them. You can only use them every other night, so it will take me a while to get through the 5 remaining pairs of pads. But I'm hopeful.

Probably the most disturbing thing about these pads is their smell. They are brown and liquidy and leaking and make your feet tingle. But then you take them off in the morning and there is the overwhelming smell of barbeque sauce. The fact that they look like barbeque sauce only stands to reinforce this olfactory conclusion. I threw my pads away but I am curious to compare the ingredient list against that of some A-1 and see how much they have in common. In the meantime, though, like I sometimes do, I decided to lend my advertising genius to Kinoki for free and put together this brand new marketing graphic for them.

Stand by for my final verdict, but I'm seriously undecided at the moment. Peace.

Clean sweep

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I am so excited. My other big purchase finally arrived -- Kinoki Foot Pads! You have seen the commercials where people put these pads on their feet while they sleep and then they wake up freed of the heavy metal toxins they've been living with and then jog through the park in tank tops and hot pants. I can't wait to be that guy. You put them on and they're supposed to come off in the morning like jet black from all the stuff that's been pulled through the soles of your feet via ancient Chinese reflexology. And the more you use them the lighter and lighter they get because there are less and less toxins in your body. So I was completely prepared for the pads to be numbered night 1 through night 14 and you had to wear them in order to achieve this bullshit, but they're not numbered, ergo, they must actually work.

It's such a relief after I failed to complete the Master Cleanse. I have so many toxins and free radicals just pulsing through my veins. It'll be good to get them out through my calloused feet. Part of me knows they must be bullshit, but that smaller, more entertaining part of my psyche says it's worth a shot. I might even take pictures of them each night to see if they get lighter and lighter. Although really you can either alternate feet each night or wear them both every other night. I think I'd rather wear two at a time. Double the toxin hoover.

This is part of my resolution to buy more shit off the TV and I can't wait to report back to you with the results. Any ideas about what I should buy off the TV next? I'd LOVE to hear them.

Vespa days

Friday, March 14, 2008

I officially got in trouble for parking my Vespa indoors. I would have thought the exhaust fumes and gas vapors would be the reason, but it turns out they consider it a fire hazard. Who woulda knew? I got a less than friendly call from the parking people. But really it's only halfway my fault. They wouldn't give me permission to park in the garage over the weekend and then on Monday told me to park in a motorcycle spot ... and there are none. But we finally got it all worked out now and I can park wherever I want, just not inside.

I'm getting a little better at riding. I started out just practicing in a parking lot near my apartment and then graduated to the 30mph roads around the neighborhood. I've gotten brave a couple of times and gone out on major streets during low traffic times. My real problem is accelerating from a stop. I'm not very fluid with the gears so it takes me a little while to get up to 40mph and by then cars are honking and going around. But luckily I don't care. I think if I can ride it a lot this weekend and a little each day next week I might be ready to ride it to work every day. I definitely want to, I'm just not confident enough yet.

One of my favorite things about riding it is that I get respect from big Harley hog motorcycle riders. They all wave to me when I pass them on the street. I don't know why I find that as hilarious as I do but it's nice to get my propers. I have some friends from work coming over tomorrow to test her out and that'll be good for me because it's kind of boring to just practice riding, but when you're taking turns it's pretty fun. I'll keep you all posted on my progress.

Vroom, Vroom!

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Omg, I don't believe it. I bought a Vespa! I went to the dealership today to look at them, but I also told myself that if they had exactly what I wanted, I was going to just buy it. And they had exactly what I wanted. After comparing the red and the black, I decided to go with the red model. Mostly because I ordered some custom Louis Vuitton seats for it that they have to have made, so they're not on it yet. But it looked pretty smart against the red. I also looked at their financing plans and they all sucked ass, so I decided to just shell out the dough and pay cash. So it's totally mine, tax, title, and license. I need to get a parking sticker for the garage here. It's currently parked in our indoor hallways outside our door. And I need to get insurance for it. And a chain. But as you can see in the picture, I do at least have a sweet ass helmet.

The guy who delivered it also spent about 30 minutes teaching me how to ride it. We rode over to a parking lot and he taught me how to turn it on and use the clutch because its standard and I've never ridden a scooter or driven a manual car. So he was really nice and patient. And I was pretty good at it right away. Stalled out once and that was it. I haven't been on a street or out of first gear yet because its freezing balls tonight and it was getting dark when he delivered it, but tomorrow should be fun learning. They also said I could come by and get comfortable on one of their old beat up models that they use to teach people so I wouldn't accidentally trash mine in the process. Oh g*d, I'm so excited.

Last bit of news, I wanted to mention that I finally made it over to the Addison Improv last night to see Charlie Murphy. That guy is fucking hilarious. And he looks exactly like Eddie. And he moves and has mannerisms just like Dave Chappelle. So funny. See him if you get the chance.

Okay, I gotta go look at my scooter again. Peace.

Aight, Dawg, so hey, check it out

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Another Febrehab for the annals. Although, it's basically still going on. I had one glass of wine with dinner the other night, but other than that I haven't had anything to drink. And I still haven't smoked any. I think I'm going to do something this Friday to get back into the swing of things. Perhaps Hooters?

I don't want to get too drunk, though because Saturday afternoon, I'm going to look at and possibly buy a Vespa. It is time for me to start riding a scooter that gets 100mpg to work and back. I can't see any flaws with this plan. If they have the exact one I want, I'm going to snag it. But if there are some hangups like needing a license or a parking pass or things like that, then I might just figure out which one I want and then go back the next weekend and get it.

Are you watching American Idol this season? This is the first time that I've watched every episode and I'm totally hooked. But ... if they don't get rid of Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul, I won't be watching it next season. There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON for those two to be there. They both say the exact same thing about every singer every round. Randy Jackson says, "Aight, dawg, so hey, check it out. I thought that was good. It started out a little rough, a few pitch problems here and there, but you pulled it out at the end. It was good. Yeah." Then Paula chimes in and says, "Yes, yes, yes, I loved it, I love you, I want ... who ... let's give a hand ... all the ... do a ... job and ... I loved it." Then Simon tells the truth, or an honest assessment of the performance with a few constructive criticisms and the entire audience boos. I hate that so much.

They could definitely pare it down to just Simon and vastly improve on the format of the show. But until then, I guess I'll just shut up and keep watching. At least as long as Danny Noriega and David Archuleta are still in.

Febrehabruariv Day 24: One time for the rodeo!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Last Thursday Aaron Carter -- son of the famed N'Sync member, Nell Carter -- was arrested in Junction, Texas for possession of marijuana. When reached for comment, Carter said only, "Oh, dag! I'm in trouble!"

I find two things about this story interesting. First, it's a good way to dispel the rumors going around that Texas had decriminalized possession of small amounts of marijuana. When in fact, if you had, say not enough weed to roll one joint AND a medical marijuana card in your possession. You're looking at jail time. Now, let me just make it clear that I do not do marijuana cigarettes, nor do I have any desire to, but I think that these laws are so ridiculous. Texas just needs to wake up and realize that smoking weed is no longer a purely Mexican habit like it was in the 1800's so the racism behind the law has kind of fizzled out, and therefore is no longer any fun.

The second thing I found interesting that nobody cared to mention or explain is... what the hell was Aaron Carter doing speeding around Junction in his Cadallac Escalade? If you were to locate "Nowhere" on the map, Junction would be smack dab in the middle of it. And he was alone, so it's not like some tour bus convoy got stopped. So bizarre. He was probably buying weed.

In closing, I'd like to thank Allison and Keiff for emailing me this news story before anyone else had seen it. What does that say about me that they knew it would be big news to me? I guess the same thing it says about them. I'm going to make my stance clear though. FREE AARON CARTER! Why? Why shouldn't he be subject to the same laws that govern our society? 5 Words: Aaron's. Party. (Come. Get. It.)

You're welcome.

Febrehabruariv Day 12: Master Cleanse Day 4

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Today I came dangerously close to giving up. I have been near starvation for almost 4 days now. The reprieve I keep hoping for is not coming. I read that the first ten days are the worst and I think to myself, there's no way I can do this for ten days. I can't drink any more laxative tea or guzzle salt water at 7am any more. Any time I try to see the finish line, it is so far off that it feels hopeless. I try to just take it one day, one hour, one more commercial break at a time, but I have to admit... my will power is fading. The fact that my misery is self inflicted and could end, well, whenever I want, makes it that much harder to keep going.

I called Matt C■■■■ for some advice. Really, I called to ask him if he thought it would hurt me inside if I ate solid food after only four days of cleansing. After ten days, you should gradually reintroduce solid food, but I thought maybe after four days, I could just have a bowl of cereal and quit this whole insanity. But he reminded me that I'm not supposed to be hungry. If I'm hungry, I can drink more lemonade. And if that doesn't work, I can make some super lemonade with extra syrup. So I went to the kitchen and made myself a few glasses of extra strength lemonade. And I drank them. And the cramp in my stomach went away, my headache went away, my heart palpitations went away. All of this for the first time in four days.

So I've decided to keep going.

I'm not going to lie to you. I can't guarantee a victory on this one. Two weeks was a lofty fucking goal. Ten days would be respectable, but even that seems so far away. For now, I've decided to go one more day. And that is really all I can do. But, I am going to give myself a break and not drink the tea tonight. I was up at 3am involuntarily because of that stuff and I could really use a good nights sleep. Hopefully Josh is right. (Pretty Eyes Josh, not Pretty Sure Josh) Hopefully day five will be that downward slope I've been looking for. Wish me luck.

Febrehabruariv Day 9: Master Cleanse Day 1

Saturday, February 9, 2008

I. am. so. hungry. But I made it through the day. Supposedly the hunger fades by day three and then it's smooth sailing. You would think it would be torturous, but I find that smelling food actually helps. I cut up some garlic for Daniel's guacamole earlier and the smell of raw garlic on my hands almost makes it as though I'd eaten it. I wonder how tomorrow will be. I've definitely gone a day without eating in my lifetime -- though admittedly, not since college -- but I don't think I've ever gone two days.

The laxative tea was not really a laxative. I noticed nothing out of the ordinary when I woke up in the morning. I didn't even need to go to the bathroom. But that lasted only until I drank the saltwater flush. You mix two teaspoons of salt into a quart of water. It's kind of like a salt flavored big gulp. And it was hard as hell to drink. And it went through me faster than a Coors Light ever has. But after that brief morning episode, the rest of my day was normal, gastrointestinally speaking at least. I was a smidge light headed in the late afternoon but some lemonade helped. If it wasn't for the cayenne pepper, the lemonade would be just plain delicious. But that heat the pepper provides is so out of place. I would omit it altogether but I promised to follow the rules to the letter. I'm a lot more confident about being able to pull this off while at work all day. I was afraid I would be chained to the toilet.

Other than being hungry this is pretty easy. But even the hunger subsides after a glass of lemonade. It's going to be so nice not to worry about food for a couple of weeks, but looking ahead on the calendar and realizing how long I've committed to this for... phew. It's daunting. I will say that much. But there's really nothing I can do about it now, other than hunker down and reserve calories. My daily weight chart is already showing a downward trend and I can only imagine it will continue. I'll post results at the end. Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

Febrehabruariv Day 1: Piece of cake

Friday, February 1, 2008

24 hours down, 672 more to go. Today was a breeze, mostly because I'm hardly the hard living party monster I used to be. I had a slight hangover after our anniversary dinner at Kenny's. A few tequila cocktails, a couple martinis, and half a bottle of wine rightfully should have KO'ed me for the day but I felt strangely good. Eating vegan was relatively easy since I had stuff on hand. Ever since last year, I've kept up eating vegan dishes -- just not exclusively. I really think this first week will be a breeze. Then the cleanse starts.

In other news, what the fuck is up with Dannon? Yes, Dannon, the yogurt company. Daniel first pointed it out to me a while ago but it's just gotten worse. They keep making shit up that sounds like Harry Potter spells. They might as well hire him as their spokesperson. I can just imagine some old black lady doubled over and a spritely little British kid busts in and yells, "Bifidus Regularis!"

Or the new one I just heard tonight. Some fat bitch has irritable bowel syndrome until Hermione screams, "L. casei Immunitas!" Remember when Aaron wouldn't stop talking about his irritable bowel syndrome? g*d, that was so gross.

Anyway, Dannon is so making this shit up. It doesn't even sound scientific, which is really the hallmark of a good invented term. Take "glycemic index" for example. I'm not saying anything about the yogurt one way or the other. I just think their marketing department is probably a bunch of douches. Peace out.

Wiitard

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I make some of my best decisions after a few drinks. You wouldn't have to look any further than my set of Ronco knives to know that. But I have another example now. A 37" flatscreen LCD! I had a little money to spend from xristmas and I was debating between a dining room table with all the necessary accoutrements or a TV and a Wii. At a post-new-years finish-the-keg party, RyanS■■■ and Daniel collectively convinced me that a TV was the way to go. So at 3 in the morning, we jetted off to Wal-Mart to get one. The first store didn't have the one we wanted so we went to another and stopped at Whataburger on the way. I haven't done that in forever. Their taquitos are as good as ever, so that made me glad. And we got the TV, bungee corded the trunk closed and brought it home and set it up at 4 in the morning. It's a Vizio and it has a really good picture, we just don't have any HD signals to feed to it. But Planet Earth look pretty spectacular.

Then we set off to find a Wii. Turns out, that's impossible. Well, impossible for someone with a life. I could spend my days calling stores, figuring out delivery schedules, and standing there waiting for a Wii to come in. Unfortunately, I am employed. So I call a few stores each weekend and they laugh at me. Just as well though, I accidentally overdrafted my account the other day. Not entirely because I'm broke but also because of an accounting error on my part. Nonetheless, it opened my eyes to the fact that I've been spending rampantly for months and have to stop. So I decided no Wii until I'm debt frii. Realistically with Febrehabruariv right around the corner, I can't imagine that won't be March. And we likely won't find one then either. But if anyone has a Wii they're willing to see at face value, let me know. I might take it off your hands in a little bit.

And finally, Febrehabruariv, the first leap year, I am looking so forward to it. Giving up food this year for the middle two weeks. The surrounding weeks, I'll be weaning off and then slowly acclimating back to food. C■■■■ said he was shipping me the book on how to properly do the Master Cleanse, so I'm looking forward to reading that. I'm going to follow it to the letter, no matter what. If I'm in the hospital for malnourishment, I'll be pushing the IVs away. I'll definitely keep everyone posted on that, because it could either be torture, or another inadvertent success. Either way I can't wait. Peace.

A note to resolutioners everywhere

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Happy New Year! I hope this post finds you all enjoying what's passed of 2008. I had a wonderful time here at home with a few friends. Daniel went and bought ridiculous amounts of streamers and balloons and we strung them up everywhere. At midnight we tore it all down and stomped on the balloons like crazy people. Then we drank lots of champagne and I went to bed fearing the ensuing hangover. But I lived to tell the tale, so I guess we can call that a win.

We also made it to the gym again this week. I was afraid that after the holidays and a real spotty workout regimen that I wouldn't be able to lift anything but I ended up adding 20 lbs to my bench press, so that was good. It was hard to get anything done though because of the dreaded influx of resolutioners. People that have never worked out a day in their life, but always decide that January 1st will be the magic switch they flip and get hot. They're easy to spot. They walk around aimlessly randomly working every muscle group. They have on BRAND new sneakers and matchy matchy track suits. They spend LOTS of time stretching only to get on a treadmill for 3 minutes before wandering off to something else. It really is annoying. So I just wanted to tell all of you resolutioners...

Give up now.

You're going to by March anyway, so why make the rest of us suffer for 2 months out of every year? If you find the gym to be an intimidating place that's because people that regularly inhabit it are making you feel unwelcome. We want you to leave so we can get back to our year-round routine. Now I'm not saying that I don't want resolutioners to exist. I just don't want them at the gym. Continue to go out and sign up for the 3 year membership because your dues help pay for nice things for the rest of us to use. Just don't come and hog the sauna.

So that's my public service announcement. If you're really concerned with getting in shape, then spend January and February getting your diet in line and walking around the block. That way you'll be ready in March to add in weight training and cardio and the gym won't be nearly as crowded as it is when you go once a year in January.

Tales from Las Vegas,

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Las Vegas was a blast, just like I knew it would be. Daniel knew that we were staying at the Bellagio for his graduation gift, but what he didn't know is that we had a deluxe lakeview suite on the corner and that chocolate covered strawberries and champagne were waiting for us when we got there. So that was a fun arrival. We looked out our windows and played with the electric drapes for a while before hitting the town. We mostly played Wheel of Fortune and Monte Carlo slot machines -- the two most popular ones with bonus spins possible. Neither of us lost as much money as we had planned on losing, so in that regard, we won. One night I even drank until I was wasted and the casino paid me $10 dollars to do it. If that isn't winning big, I don't know what is.

So that was our strategy. To try to drink all night and pay less than what we would have paid at the bar. Since a beer was anywhere from $6 to $8 at most bars, that really wasn't hard to do. Here's a couple helpful hints for any of you heading over to the desert. The first time the waitress comes around, tip her something good. $5 should do it, $10 if you're looking to get wasted. Then they'll take care of you by replacing every empty bottle with a full one. You might have to fuel the fire every few rounds with a few ones, just to keep her thinking she might get more money out of you once you get drunk. The other key factor is to make your money last a long time at the slot. The only effective way to do this is to not play. We would put money in, pull it once, light a cigarette, smoke the entire thing, talk to the waitress and the people next to us, finish a round, use the bathroom ... and then pull it again. Of course, naturally, you're going to get faster and faster as drink goes on, but that's where teamwork comes in and your partner should tell you to stop. We usually took turns, so one of us could slow the other down if we were getting low on our beer to gambling ratio.

One night Daniel took me out to a fancy dinner at Le Cirque. That's French for The Cirque. It's in the Bellagio and it's probably the nicest restaurant I've ever been to. Only 16 tables in a small room swaddled in tapestries and rich mohogany, and a view of the fountains. Tres chic. I had the rabbit symphony. A plate with a bunch of different preparations of rabbit. I am the worst vegan ever. The fun part was that when you walked in there was a huge terrarium with all the rabbits in it and I got to pick the one I wanted. (No, not really, but isn't it weird that it's acceptable to do with lobsters but the thought of doing it with bunnies is kind of offensive?) I was completely stuffed after a seafood medley, rabbit symphony, and a mango sorbet with coconut foam extravaganza for desert. It was an incredible meal, I highly recommend. Especially if you can get someone else to pay for you.

We also saw Blue Man Group, which was incredible. The first hour or so was just them staring wide eyed at each other and audience members while people laughed uncomfortably. Could have done without that. But the last 45 minutes were so badass that it totally made up for it. I would also highly recommend Blue Man Group. I'd tell you more, but I don't want to spoil it. If you're really curious, I'll tell you about it in person.

Our flight home was canceled and our new flight was about 6 hours later (during which I won $80, so not all bad) and then that flight was delayed about an hour. So getting home was a bit arduous. Especially since we were both ready to come home. Vegas is magickal and riotously fun, but I wouldn't recommend any more than 3 nights at a time. It gets tiresome of everyone you meet doing whatever they can to get their hands on your money. But we finally arrived home with little incident and promptly laid on the couch. And that concludes story time.

I've spent the past couple of days at my parents' house playing Wii and opening presents. I got a navigation system and an Art of Shaving kit and a mango slicer. Not a bad haul. I gave Daniel the T-qualizer shirt and he gave me Planet Earth, the entire season, AS narrated by Sigourney Weaver, the true version. I have some more to open on xristmas with Daniel's family so more on that after this. Peace.

The time has FINALLY arrived

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Last night I went to a work party. After eating some dinner and socializing for a few minutes, it was right up stairs to play Wii. I think the Wii will probably affect adult parties more than childrens. Bowling and tennis are just too much damn fun. I'm kind of surprised my Wii arm isn't sore. Good thing because that also happens to be my slots arm. I'm leaving for Vegas in a few hours, and I'm not going to lie to you. I'm feeling awfully slotty.

Real quick, though, I gotta tell you what's even better than the Wii. Rock Band. I think it's only out on the XBox 360, or at least it's not out on the Wii. I went to a Rock Band birthday party and we played all night. It is so much fun. There are vocals, guitar, bass guitar, and drums. And the drums are like a massive controller. And then it's just like Guitar Hero where you follow the little colored bars on the screen. Except the vocals, all you have to do with that is stay on pitch at the right time. I feel like such a loser because I've never liked video games before, save Tony Hawk, but now I find myself getting obsessed. Not obsessed enough to buy my own, that costs money, but totally into it, for sure.

Last bit of news, have you all heard that American Gladiators is coming back?! It's hosted by Hulk Hogan and Muhammad Ali's daughter. I think her name is Tatiana. You can go look at all the new gladiators if you google their website. My brother, Stephen, sent me the link and said his favorite one is Fury and I found myself agreeing. You just can't beat a pony tail coming straight up out of a grown woman's head. I was frankly a bit surprised that Wesley "Two Scoops" Barry didn't come back as a gladiator. Anyway, I decided that when I'm a gladiator my name will be Maui, an hommage to Malibu, the greatest gladiator of all time. Stephen said his name would be Laser Beam because he wouldn't be comfortable leaving it at just Laser. So your homework assignment is to leave a comment with your American Gladiator name and why.

If I don't win millions, I'll be back on Wednesday. Peace.

Date Night

Thursday, December 6, 2007

I always tease Daniel about date night because the entire concept is so ridiculous and reserved only for married couples in strained relationships who really don't like being around each other, but once a week go out together and get sauced up enough to copulate. So any time we go out to dinner or a movie I like to scream, "Date night!" But in all seriousness, tonight we had a date night. Dinner for two at Halfshells in Plano. We got a crab and shrimp and andoiulle sausage platter and a couple beers. Then we went to see August Rush. Srsly, go see it. Read my review to the right for more on that. It was just perfect. We should really try to do this once a week.

One more week and I'll be Vegas bound. I can't wait. Daniel really can't wait. The Vegas trip is to celebrate his graduation, which will also occur in one week. He's already finished with several of his classes and I just couldn't be more proud of him. He's kind of a big deal. It's going to be a hectic week for me and then I have like 10 days in a row away from work, and you'd better believe me, I'm going to forget alllll about it.

One last thing about August Rush and then I'm done. I really want my brother to go see it because on those late nights when we were up recording Brother Band songs, and he would man the guitar, he always played it like August does. Two hands on the neck of the guitar ... bangin' ... making beautiful music. Only his was a fraction of a second long and had to be looped in order to sound cool. But still, same effect. I'm heading off to lay on the couch some more, my home in my home. Czech you skillets on the flip side.

It’s beginning to look a lot like xristmas

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Cider verdict: delicious. It's like a pear flavored apple wine. It's only mildly alcoholic but that works out alright because I like to drink lots and lots of it at a time. Bottling it was such a chore. The first day that it was freezing outside, I found myself sanitizing bottles in big tubs of water and rinsing them with a hose. I was wet and my hands were so cold that it was hard to work. We hooked it up to a big canister of compressed CO2 and attempted to force carbonation. It only worked slightly. Next time I'm going to give it like 4 days of carbonation instead of 20 minutes so it'll truly sparkle. But anyway, for a first try this is fantastic. I got three big crates of big bottles full, so I haven't rationed it at all. It's probably a third gone. Mmm, just talking about it is making me want a big glass of it.

Daniel and I got our first xristmas tree together the day after Thanksgiving. It's as tall as it could be in our apartment and flocked. Flocked, I learned, is what you call the trees that have been sprayed with white shit to make it look like snow. Then we wrapped it in blue LED lights and some color changing globes and a bunch of ornaments. I think it's really pretty. So pretty that I want to take a picture of it and post it on my website, but I'm too lazy. I'll do it later along with the pictures from Halloween.

Thanksgiving was good. We spent it at Daniel's parents' house. Grilled turkey and stuffing made with sausage and oysters. Delish. Then there was some tofu, natch, and a few other sides. I've never had a grilled turkey but it was fantastic. I want to try that some time. Grilling has never been my forte and I'm always intimidated to try it out in the courtyard, but maybe that should be a new years resolution for me.

Speaking of new years resolutions -- do me a favor and don't resolve to work out in the new year. If you haven't been doing it already, starting in January is the worst thing you can possibly do. Because every lard ass in the world starts going in January clogging up all the gym equipment for a good month or two before finally giving up like we all knew they were going to do from the beginning. So save yourself, and me, the trouble. You're welcome. This post sucked.

Humidity Now

Sunday, November 18, 2007

A while ago I read an article about residential humidity control... because I work in an environment where not only are articles about residential humidity control sitting around, but I find them interesting. It really is the most overlooked and underestimated aspect of home climate control. Someday I hope to have central whole home humidity control. Until that becomes possible, I went and got myself a humidifier.

When I say humidifier you're probably thinking the same thing Daniel thought when I told him I was bringing one home. Picture the little bowl shaped plastic device with the spout out the top from which obscene amounts of steam billow out until the wall paper peels from the wall. But this is totally different. It's a cool humidifier, meaning it does not use heat to vaporize the water. It uses a honeycomb filter that sucks up water as air blows across it causing the water to evaporate into vapor. It has an adjustable set point for relative humidities between 35% and 55% so it cycles on an off as needed. And, best of all, it looks cool.

The fan has pretty much been running 24/7 since we turned it on. I was trying to figure out how it could possibly be putting at least 3 gallons of water into the air every day and yet never reach set point. But I think I figured it out. The other day the humidity outside was at 20%. That is so low. When it gets cold outside, I like nothing more than a 30 minute long scalding hot shower to warm up. That combined with humidity hovering around nothing dries my skin out so bad. Winter is typically pretty uncomfortable for me.

And now, the point of the story. I haven't had any problems with dry skin this year. And I don't wake up with severe dry mouth either. I think everyone should go out and get themselves a humidifier this winter and you can thank me in the spring.

I got the hooch, baby

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Yesterday I became a home brewer. I decided to start with hard cider which I figured would be marginally easier than beer. So there are 6 gallons of apple juice rotting in a bucket filled with yeast in the guest bathroom bathtub. In three weeks, it should be delightfully alcoholic and I'll probably start winning competitions and whatnot at that point. So if any of you are in town or around at Thanksgiving, come on by. I haven't come up with a name or a label yet but you better believe I'll be spending some time getting that sorted out.

I'm not sure if I even really like hard cider since every hard cider I've ever had has actually been an apple flavored malted beverage. And I'm definitely weary that I like it 6 gallons worth. But if I drink even one glass from the bucket and it has even 1% alcohol in it, then I will consider this a sweeping success. Who knows though? Maybe I really do like cider and I'll drink 6 gallons at 6% alcohol and die. Keep your fingers crossed.

Do any of you have a Wii? My parents bought one unexpectedly and I have go to say it is wildly entertaining. I like bowling and tennis. My whole family was in town a couple of weeks ago and we spent so much time playing these stupid games that the children got upset and the entire right side of my body was sore for like 3 days. What a brilliant invention to try and get fat little kids to quit being so fat and disgusting. I want one for xmas, so if you could just buy me one and leave it at my doorstep anonymously, I would appreciate it. That way, I don't have to feel indebted to you for your generosity and I can play my Wii without a burden on my conscience.

Back on October 1st, I swore that I was going to live on $100 dollars a week, no questions asked, no holds barred. A month later, I find my system unravelling. "Emergencies" are getting put on the credit card ... hard cider is an emergency ... and my checking account cushion is dwindling. So I had to supplement with some money from savings. That totally defeats the purpose, but if I can just make it one more month, then I'll be loaded and happy and ready to go to Las Vegas and gamble it all away. As it is, I've saved a ridiculous amount in the first month anyway, so I still count this as a victory. I'm pretty easy on myself.

I have pictures from Halloween but I'm still working on it before I post it here. So sit tight and wait for those, I promise to have them out by 2008. Peace.

MMMBop

Saturday, October 6, 2007

On Tuesday night, Daniel, Lindsey, Lauren, Hunter and I all went to see Hanson at the House of Blues. Lindsey and Lauren were the kind of mall rat uberfans that made MMMBop a hit. I would claim that status except they were 9 when the song came out and I was in high school. Nonetheless, this was, in fact, my second Hanson concert because I went to see them once with Ashlee in high school. The show was incredible, of course. All of them are very accomplished musicians. They each took a turn on guitar, did some acoustic, and some acapella. Definitely worth seeing.

They also encouraged everyone to buy a pair of Tom's shoes. I looked them up on the internet and it seemed like a good enough cause that I would mention it here. If you go to tomsshoes.com you can read up on it for yourself, but the short story is that every pair of shoes you buy, they donate a pair to a kid in Africa. Now normally I don't fuck with Africa cause people there are starvin' and that ain't baller, but these shoes are also kind of cool. I think I'm going to order the pair of gray and black striped ones. Lindsey said that if you order a pair before Hanson's Walk Tour is over, you can just put "hanson" in the shipping info and it's free, or something like that. And the tour should be one for a while longer.

It's been pushed back a little bit because apparently Isaac Hanson had some kind of heart trouble immediately following the show and they rushed him to Baylor Medical for emergency surgery. I guess he's okay but it meant that they had to stay here a few extra days and cancel their Tulsa show. Lindsey wanted to go outside the hospital with posterboard and glow sticks and scream (and probably did, we haven't heard from her in a while) but ultimately we decided that might be in poor taste.

So, okay, buy some shoes, they're cool and it's nice and remember: Ahfon oopinda bee ting chesch ahfon oopinda ayesconsee.

Checkmate

Monday, October 1, 2007

The Dow closed today at a record high. I know that because I am a stock holder. I earned $3 today. And I didn't do anything. I am only in for $200 at this point, but already I'm up to $206 total. I love this. I want to put more money into the stock market but I have priorities first. My year long struggle to save up six months worth of expenses was set back a tad by the Vegas trip in December I just paid for. But it's still within reach. I have a new plan to spend only $100 a week (excluding recurring bills) for the next two months. If I can do that, then I can truly reap the benefit of the extra paycheck in November and I could potentially stash like 5 grand. That's only if I stay absolutely disciplined, which has never happened before. But there's a first time for everything.

Daniel's Windows Vista laptop has chess as one of the games on it. I put it at the easiest level 1 beginner setting and it consistently has whooped my ass. Like not even close. I am dedicated though. I keep playing it over and over again and I will continue to do so until I can beat the beginner level. I'm starting to get a little bit better. Like I can tell how or why they destroyed me as opposed to when I first started and was basically playing checkers against a computer playing chess. I think a few months of practice and I could really get good. Of course if I had any idea what was going on, or a friend who knew (wink, wink) I could accelerate that learning curve a little bit. Let me know if you're a grand dragon, or whatever they call it when you're really good at chess.

I was really hoping for more comments on my finished bar, but finally decided I couldn't milk it any longer. It's been pretty fun having it. The beer fridge is installed, fit perfectly, and keeps my brewskis frigid. Of course now I think it's a hassle to get up and walk 3 steps to get another beer so I might have to rig up some sort of couch delivery system next. I'll keep you posted on that.

You dirty rat

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Today is the day I finally cut my rat tail off. I've been growing it for quite some time and it is understandably out of control. I took a picture of it last night just for documentation purposes and maybe I'll post it here sometime when I'm not so lazy. I am also going platinum today. I haven't dyed my hair in so long and I just can't wait. The hairstyle I'm going for is WWII chic. I want to look like I'm about to be shipped off to Normandy.

In other news, finishing touches on the bar began last night. All of the oak is stained and shoelocked and ready to go. Turns out oak is incredibly hard to get nails or screws through. Total pain in the ass. But we managed to get the trim and the first panel up. It looks fantastic. When it's all together I have every confidence that it'll be breathtaking. Toot! Toot!

Not much time to work on it today with my haircut and two parties to go to. The first one is whirlyball. If I remember from 6th grade correctly, its a game where there are two teams on a basketball court. Everyone has a little scoop that you can use to scoop up and fling a whiffle ball. And the objective is to hit a hoopless basketball backboard inside the square to earn points. Oh wait, did I mention the whole time you're in a hard to control bumper car? Cause that's kind of important. Then it's off to celebrate Katie turning 21. All these kids are growing up so fast.

And in final news, I've been thinking already about Febrehabruariv. I'm going to give up drinking and smoking and go vegan again. But I've been brainstorming ways to make it more difficult. It defeats the purpose somewhat if it's easy. I toyed with the idea of giving up driving. The bus stop is relatively close to my apartment but SO FAR from my office. It would certainly be a massive challenge. Maybe a tad too much. I will probably give up caffeine in any form now that I don't really need it to survive. But also for the middle two weeks, I'm going to do a master cleanse. Some of you may have heard me talk about it after C■■■■ introduced me to the concept. It's not so much that I think it's a great idea, although I am 100% intrigued by testimonials on the internet, but more that I think it would be HARD to do. Essentially the only thing you ingest for two weeks is this mixture of water, lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. You should google "master cleanse" to read more about it. It's insane. But people on the internet and C■■■■ swear by it. So I think I'll do it.

Let me know if you want to play along. Ha!

Entres vous

Saturday, August 18, 2007

This is our new entry way. I painted it while Daniel was in New York.

Do you like it?

What's up with these new Total Gym commercials? I was thinking about buying one until this mustachioed gentleman thought he could fool everybody. But I will tell you what is. No fucking way am I buying a Total Gym from Chuck Norris' evil twin brother. Period.

Astoria Time

Thursday, August 16, 2007

I am so bad at updating these days. If I have any Sidesho-Viewers left, I want to apologize to all of you for my absence. It's not that I don't want to update, it's just that 9 times out of 10, I'm fresh out of ideas. I hate it when I get too many narrative blogs in a row. It seems rather self indulgent to think you care what I'm doing without having something funny to say. Speaking of self indulging...

We have a new hangout here in Addison! Circle. It's called Astoria and it is our new favorite place. The owners could not be nicer. We had a long term goal of getting to know them on a first name basis so we would feel at home there. They greatly accelerated our schedule into the first night we were there. They couldn't be nicer. Tonight it started raining on us, so they brought us inside, set up a smoking section, and brought us lots of fresh menu ideas for us to try and give feedback on. We really want them to be hugely successful, so the next time you come to visit, let's go have a coffee or a drink or something to eat.

They also have flat screen TVs around with DVD players. So they encouraged us to bring in a movie, have some friends, they'll set up a viewing area for us, serve us drinks and watch the movie. Sounds like too much fun. We want to try that asap. We ran into our favorite Addison! celebrities tonight and they told the owners that I was an amazing guitar player. In reality, they were just amazingly drunk the night I played for them. Drunk ... and huge John Denver fans. So you know I blew their socks off. The owners want to try to get an open mic type thing going on there so they asked if I would ever be interested in starting things off. One of my biggest goals in life, back when I was young and stupid and had goals, was to play an open mic night before my 18th birthday. I missed that mark by a good 8 years, but I could make amends with my younger self by doing it at Astoria. I only know a handful of songs, but it would be fun to go play them in a corner. Someone might listen, but probably not, and that would rock. I really hope I go through with it.

I have made good progress on the bar. It is now grouted and sealed and looks amazing. All that's left to do is put some drawer fronts and cabinet doors, stain them, and then paint the back wall. Oh, and line the drawers with foam and velvet. And then we are open for business. Realistically, we're probably looking at a cold weather unveiling, but you know for a fact that I'll be keeping you updated.

A few new projects on the horizon. The first is a dress for Lindsey that I've been promising ever since I finished Katie's dress back in April. Daniel was just in New York for 5 days and found time to steal over to Mood, our favorite Project Runway endorsed fabric store. He got me a beautiful black and white silk print (I can't sew silk) and some black silk to go with the sketches I came up with. If I can pull this off, it just might be an attractive garment.

I was also in Barneys last weekend and found a fur lined hoodie. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about an article of clothing. But, needless to say, I was not $675 excited. So Daniel also picked up some faux chinchilla fur from Mood and I'm going to line my own hoodie. I also intend to run headphones up into the hood that will hook into an iPod that will rest in a custom iPod pocket. And I want all of the pockets to have magnets in them so they will stay shut. It's going to be rad. I want to start that first, but Lindsey wants her dress. Hopefully they'll be enough time to do them simultaneously. I need this hoodie yesterday... but I suppose I can wait until it isn't 100.

Much love to everyone getting hit by tropical storms and hurricanes right now. Hope your houses aren't flooding, or if they are, that you have good insurance. Cha ching. Later sluts.

Drop your drawers

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Fourth of July was good. Had a few people over, drank some beers. Birthday was good. Had a few people over, drank some beers. My brother, Stephen, even dropped in for a little bit, which was a special surprise ... kind of ... I mean, it was really special, but only kind of a surprise. Taking a week off was a really good idea. I wish I could do it again, but alas, I need mo money.

I'm taking this opportunity to update because I wore out 3 of the DeWalt batteries on my handheld drill. I've been a busy little boy this evening. Every time I make progress on the bar, I go into work and discuss it with my coworker/coach. He's the one that lent me all the power tools. He was disappointed that I'd gone through the whole weekend without making any progress. His only rule is that I make progress every week. So I couldn't let him down. I went and spent another 60 bucks at Home Depot and brought home some 1x6s, some 2x4s, and some drawer mounts. I am now the proud owner of 1.95 finished drawers. They are not half bad, if I do say so myself. A little wonky, but that's to be expected when you're doing construction with all hand tools. I got one all the way done but as I was screwing the bottom onto the second drawer my third battery went dead. I just have to chill out for about an hour and two of them will be full speed again. The drawers are damn huge. You know how I am -- larger than life and out of control. So these are 18" wide, 21" long, and 6" deep. We don't intend on using the drawers for anything, I only made them to fill some of the gap between the fridge and the bar. But if we ever do use them, we could store like quilts and stuff in them. Boom!

I guess I'll go eat some dinner while I'm waiting for a recharge. I hope Daniel is impressed with my progress ... and doesn't mind vacuuming up large amounts of sawdust. Later skaters.

Construction Man

Sunday, June 10, 2007

I started work on the bar this weekend. I think I'm going to extend my original construction schedule from two years to three. I went and bought a couple 8' sections of 2x2 pieces of wood (although I was already confused since the actual dimensions seemed like 1x1 to me). I managed to cut it to length using this big, mean looking power saw that my coworker lent to me. And I managed to get it up against the wall, level it out, and drill a pilot hole through it. I even got a screw into the wall to hold it up. I was feeling pretty good about myself. Until I started drilling a second hole and managed to rip the whole thing down. Apparently the screws I got were only long enough to go through the wood and about halfway through the drywall. So I guess I need longer screws.

I also got this stupid stud finder that beeps in different places and is indicating to me that the studs are about a half inch thick and spaced randomly anywhere from 6" to 12" apart. My little instruction booklet suggests that studs are always 1.5" thick and spaced 16" or 24". So I'm confused and worried that I'm going to drill through an electrical wire or a pipe or something. So I put everything back in the closet and shut the doors. I'll worry about it some other time. But seriously, does anybody know anything about this that could help me?

I would resume work next weekend, but I'll be in beautiful Playa del Carmen, Mex-i-co. My whole family is taking a five day all inclusive trip together. It should be really fun taking all the nieces and nephews to the beach. We only have two confirmed cases of serious distaste for sand ... and one that allegedly really likes the taste of sand. So it should keep us all moderately sober for some of the time. Too bad my base tan is hovering somewhere around eggshell right now, so I'm going to be employing some serious SPF the whole time.

The rest of this weekend was punctuated by drinking and downloading the entire Ace of Base album and dancing and laughing at Daniel for knowing every single word to every single song. I have this theory that everyone on earth likes Ace of Base. There are only varying degrees of how much you admit it. But you know and I know that when you're alone in your car and "The Sign" comes on, you be rockin and singing along. Wouldn't it just feel better to admit it?

I just went and looked at the gym here in Addison! Circle. It looks pretty nice and has the free weights I've been missing. I think I'm going to join but I have to see what Daniel thinks about it first. I might sign up anyway and just go there on days when he is in class late. My company will pay for me anyway. They invited me to come back and work out today and I should really take them up on it, but methinks I am too lazy. We shall see.

Last order of business, I sent out a MySpace invitation to my birthday party on Friday, July 6th. If you didn't get it or you aren't on MySpace, shoot me an email (sideshovid@sideshovid.com) and I'll give you the wheres and whens you so desperately desire.

Weekend Warriors

Monday, June 4, 2007

This past weekend, Daniel and I set about painting the master bedroom. We had originally thought that maybe we should just redo the bedroom I had in my old apartment since that was so badass. Toot! Toot! But what a horrendous waste of a opportunity that would be! Am I right? Ultimately, we decided to go with a variation on the theme of vertical stripes.

I'm really obsessed with Kenneth Brown. He's an interior designer who stars on reDesign. Every room he does turns out absolutely badass. He always puts this "spa-like feel" in every room and I wanted a piece of that. So I went a little bit out there and chose a nice soothing green for the walls. For the stripes, we masked off some that were much wider than my old ones. Then we painted them a light shade of yellow, let it dry, and painted this muddy matte brown on top. Before the brown dried, I scraped it off with a wire bristled brush to achieve a really cool fox finish. It's got great texture and almost ended up looking kind of safari. So we're gonna get some bamboo for the corner and maybe a zebra skin rug or something. We're still working out the details. Anywho, in the meantime, I wanted you all to see it. I hope this picture comes up okay on your screens cause it didn't look great on my camera, but it should give you a good idea.

Where everybody knows your name

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Since we have three bedrooms in our apartment now, we turned the middle one into a TV lounge, hangout room. It has just about everything you could ever want in a TV room: a TV with all the accoutrement, surround sound, super comfy sofa, mood lighting. Everybody loves hanging out in there. Really, the only thing that sucks about it is when you're drinking and you have to keep getting up and going to the kitchen to throw out an empty beer can and grab a new one. It is seriously far.

Solution! The day we moved in I vowed that I would convert the TV room closet into a swank bar complete with my wine fridge, a beer fridge, trash can, cutting board, glassware. You name it, this shit is going to be nice. The more I plan, the more complicated my dream becomes. Now bear in mind that I have zero experience and absolutely no tools. But I have a dream, damnit, and sometimes that's all you need.

But seriously, if anybody has any experience or tools, I could really use your help.

The past couple of days at work I've spent drawing this conceptual drawing. I first measured the closet and then learned how to use AutoCAD to do a really nice isometric drawing as a first draft for getting my thoughts onto paper. Today I took that finished AutoCAD drawing into Photoshop and googled the different materials to overlay into this finished product. I'm obviously pretty proud of myself. Toot! Toot!

The whole thing is roughly 8' by 2' and will be covered in slate tiles. The back has four holes in the wood trim for accent lighting. There will be glass shelves above it with all my glassware, so this should create a cool lighting effect. The cutting board is actually recessed into the two-ply-wood shelf. After it's tiled, it will be flush with the rest of the surfaces. The copper flashing you see is actually just a hole that leads down to a trashcan that will be concealed by the large cabinet. Drawers flank on either side for spoons and knives and whatnot. Where you see no cabinetry is where the closet walls will actually be hiding those areas. And below each drawer will be a wine fridge or a beer fridge.

I really think I've thought of it all here, but if you have any suggestions on how to improve my little design let me know. I estimated the construction time at 2 years but Daniel thinks we can accomplish it in a few weekends. I guess all we can do is try ... and kiss our deposit goodbye. Let me know what you think!

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One. More. Time.

Friday, May 25, 2007

This week I went to Seattle for the umpteenth time. Only this time was different. It was just a day trip. A 4 hour flight there and back is a little bit long for a day trip so I flew up Sunday afternoon and back Tuesday morning. It was such a beating. I worked 13 hours on Monday punctuated by a delightful variety of alcoholic beverages. If you ever find yourself in Seattle, I suggest the Pike Place Brewery (not exactly a well kept local secret) and Broadway Grill. Mmmm. Have the Broadway put some raspberry puree in your mojito. You won't be sorry.

I was nervous going up there because I've engaged in a lot of bravado lately about how I'm the best programmer in the world and the guy who originally programmed everything is incompetent and everyone who has tried to fix it in the past has been so dispassionate that it's no surprise nothing is working. So I told them I needed to start from a clean slate and reprogram the entire thing from scratch. Not exactly what you want to hear in an already-behind-schedule project. But surprisingly they agreed. So the pressure was on. As late as Wednesday the week before I was freaking out because I had nothing to show for my efforts but a handful of failed attempts. But I showed up with a completed program and at 5am Monday morning we downloaded and started testing it. No big deal, just billions of dollars on the line.

Do I even have to tell you that it worked perfectly? This is not going to be good for my ego. But, it will be good for my resume.

Have you seen my apartment yet? It you haven't you need to swing by. We'd love to have you. I'm taking today off on comp time for traveling Sunday so that spells out a 4 day weekend for yours truly. Party every night. And on that note, I think I'm gonna start drinking... a soy latte. Laaaaaaaate.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

Friday, May 18, 2007

We did it. We moved. It only took about 12 grueling hours to finish. I can only imagine how long it would have taken were it not for the help of my father and our dear friend, DJ iMernex. I have been working long hours at work and I'm getting ready to go back to Seattle on Sunday (for one day) so I've been very little help in putting anything away. Plus, you all know me. I'd keep shit in boxes indefinitely if it were up to me. But not Daniel. Boy howdy, everything is done. It looks amazing. This place is so fucking huge it's ridonkulous.

I'll be gone Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and then after that I should be home for a while. I say this because everyone I like needs to drop by as soon as you can to see the pad. I can't wait for Kaboom Town this year. I think we're gonna do a Kaboom Town/My Birthday/Housewarming Party thing. Whatever will we call it? Kaboothdarming? I am pretty sure that's a city in Iraq. Anyway, come up with some ideas and I'll pick the second best one.

The only downside to living here (and I'm not sure it's even a downside) is that there's ample parking on the streets over here. Whereas before I was usually forced to park in the garage, here I can always find a spot right by my door. Which means that birds poop all over my car every day. And it's an unbearable amount. So tonight I begin Operation Shine Lasers Under Trees. Every night around dusk, I am going to walk underneath every tree on the street and put a laser in the eye of every bird settling down for the night. After a few nights, they should be discouraged from ever staying there again. And I'll just keep on until my car is always clean. If it doesn't work, I'll just get a BB gun.

And that concludes my post. Having Daniel's computer here all set up is really nice and will hopefully equate to more frequent blogs. So don't delete me from your favorites list just yet. There's plenty more where this came from.

Moving day bribery

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

The day is almost upon us. Tuesday morning Daniel and I begin the big move into our new apartment down the street. I have been painting non stop for about 2 weeks now. My living room and kitchen are a depressing clinical white. Just like the day I moved in. I guess it's pretty impressive that I erased my presence here in just a couple of weeks considering it took me like 6 months to paint it originally. It's kind of sad, but our new place is going to be so much better.

I just wanted to put out and APB and let you know that if you have Tuesday off or can lend a helping hand in any way when you get out of work that it would be greatly appreciated. And I assure you, you will be handsomly rewarded. The more people we have, the faster we get done, the sooner I buy everyone dinner and drinks and give out the hand jobs. I really haven't boxed anything up, so I think it's going to take about 2453 trips back and forth to finish for me. Not to mention that last minute clean up and when you think you're done and then realize you forgot the washing machine. Shit like that.

Also, this weekend is Taste Addison and Daughtry and Lifehouse and Blues Traveler are going to be there. I am attending no matter what but if I was done with painting, I would feel like 100 times better. So if you're free Thursday or Friday night and want me to pay you somehow to help me paint my bedroom (don't forget my ceiling is chocolate brown and needs to be white) that would be cool too.

As soon as we move I'll have fully functioning internet and a place to put my computer so it can stay on all the time. (The fan coming on at night bothers Daniel.) So I'll most likely be blogging a lot more regularly and you can all get back to enjoying the hilarity that is my life. But until then, don't forget to come over on Tuesday morning and bring some beer. Laaaaaaate!

Teeny Tinis; Huge Success

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Daniel's Teeny Tini 23rd Birthday Party was a whole lot of fun. We spent the whole day preparing for it. Luckily, I took that Friday off from work. First we had to buy all of the liquor that was on my shopping list. Then we got Airon to come over and mix up four pitchers of what were essentially shots. He was clever enough to make them pink, orange, green, and blue. And we had rows and rows of teeny tini glasses that Airon also acquired for us and I filled them up in rows. I wish I had Daniel's camera to show you all. It was vury pretty. And they were all extremely tastey. T to the A to the STEY girl you tastey. Everybody slurped them down. I had enough in each pitcher to fill up all the glasses twice, so I don't think anybody was left wanting.

There was a great mix of people coming and going all night long. I was exhausted when it was over and I know it was really special for Daniel for everyone to come. He got some really great gifts. Like the autographed pictures of Kylie Minogue that Adam! ordered him. Or the portrait of Kylie Minogue that JennyC■■■ hand crafted out of colored pencils, beads, and flowers. Truly amazing. And Kelly got him a book about cars and a year long prescription to Car and Driver. Ryan S■■■ got him this really great set of bath spa stuff. I can't remember what else he got, but it was all good stuff.

And Katie wore my dress! And looked fantastic. I will definitely grab a picture of that and show it to you all. Biggest accomplishment of my life thus far. Every time I saw her I would yell, "WHO ARE YOU WEARING? WHO ARE YOU WEARING?" over and over again. Good times.

But I guess the most exciting news is that I'M MOOOVING! Daniel and I signed a lease on Friday for a first floor, corner, 3-bedroom apartment in Addison! Circle. Okay, so I'm just moving down the street, but it's still fucking exciting. We are going to have so much room. Guest bedroom, guest bath, family room, living room, dining room, big kitchen, huge master bedroom with a door that opens to the outside. We are moving on May 15th so anybody that would like to help us cart shit over there, it would be most appreciated. Or if anybody has any boxes I can borrow before then, I would also appreciate that.

I think sometime around my birthday (July 6) we are going to have a birthday/house warming/Kaboom Town party. I'll be sure to let you all know when that is. And I hope you all have a great week and keep out of the rain. Laaaaaaaate.

So much for global warming

Saturday, April 7, 2007

I really wanted to lay out today like I did last weekend. My goal is to lay out every weekend before Mexico so I won't reflect all of the sunlight away from the beach. But I was especially excited to use my new cooler that I got from Target. It's super cute and holds 24 beers. Unfortunately, I can't realistically go lay out ... because it's fucking snowing. Like not a little bit, but really actually snowing. It's April for xrist's sake. I think this cycle of the earth warming and cooling is on like a 4 year cycle.

Anywho, so I find myself layin around with nothing to do, which is why I'm here talking to you losers. Daniel and I went to look at an apartment today but since it went on the market yesterday and is still occupied, it can only be viewed during specific times on weekdays. So Daniel's going to look at it on Monday. It's got a fireplace, a balcony, a pool view, a large mezzanine, a spiral staircase, two bedrooms, two baths, and a view of the circle out the other side. Online it looks perfect and the girl at the leasing office said it was a really cool apartment and would probably go fast. Which means our original plan of moving in together in December, and our revised plan of moving in together in June, has just been moved forward to as soon as we can get into this new apartment.

It makes a lot of sense. For one it's the next logical step in our relationship. That's the main reason. But also because it's way more square footage for less money. And while living across the street from each other has been wonderful, realistically, we practically live together already.

If things go well we might move in at the end of May. Which would be crazy but fun. I just hope we have some sort of overlap in our leases so we can just get a couple dollys and cart our furniture through the park to the circle. If anybody has a truck maybe that would make more sense. I'll be sure to keep you all post-ed on if we get it or not. Later, bulges.

The good news

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

The good news is, Katie came over to try on her dress and it fit her like a guhlove. It looked like I had measured her or had some semblance of an idea what I was doing -- neither of which are true. I need to finish putting in the zipper and then decide what to do with the length/hem and it's party ready. She said she actually likes it and I just decide to believe her because it makes me feel all tingly in my bathing suit area.

And there's no bad news. Sorry. Today I got home from work and was perusing my Addison! Circle newsletter and it had an advertisement for the Dream Cafe. It said it had lots of vegetarian and vegan menu options, so I wanted to try it. Oh, also, just fyi, I'm totally not a vegan anymore. I am still trying, but just failing more and more often. I eat cheese like every day, fish once or twice a week, and I've had a teeny bit of chicken twice. So I totally fell off the boat and can no longer in good conscience call myself a vegan, but I'm still trying. Gotta get in shape before the family Mexico trip because I'll have many people to impress.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, Dream Cafe. Since it was a cardio day, I decided in lieu of our usual Circle bike ride, we should venture across the Tollway to try this place. It was kind of far away and we had to cross a major highway during rush hour, but other than that it was a pleasant ride. I enjoyed my black bean nachos (with cheese) and Daniel had some ahi tuna. And as we were commenting on how delicious the food was, the perfectly clear and sunny 85 degree skies turned black and a torrential downpour spilled forth from the heavens. Unphased, we asked for a plastic bag, but our belongings inside of it and headed home through the rain. It let up a little bit as we were riding and it was downright pleasant. Soaking, yes, but pleasant. So much so that as soon as we made it home, I coaxed Daniel into an extra lap around the circle. We were, like, the only people out. We figured anyone that saw us would just assume we were severely dedicated to our bike rides. I guess some percentage of that statement is true.

0%. What? Zero is a percentage.

And now here I am freshly showered, warmed up, dried off, and a little big miffed we missed Sanjina on American Idol. g*d, I hope he wins the whole thing. He's such a fucking train wreck. I think this weekend my friend Adam! may come lay out by the pool again like we did last weekend with many, many pitchers of freshly made pina coladas. Some of you should join. We had a blizzast. Have a good week, have-nots. Czech you on the flip siiiiiide.

Project Runway Katie

Sunday, March 25, 2007

I am on the verge of accomplishing something I have never accomplished before. I am about to finish a garment. Like, I started it, worked on it, and now it is almost done. It's a weird feeling.

When I would watch Project Runway, I was always confused as to how men got involved in women' fashion. I would imagine that people would just gravitate toward designing clothes for themselves and then would branch off from there. But this garment I'm about to finish is a dress for my friend Katie. And now I understand why everyone does women's clothes. They are so much easier than men's. And so much more fun.

I wouldn't tell Katie anything about the dress. All I would tell her is that anything I made, she had to wear. And furthermore, she has to wear it at Daniel's upcoming birthday party. So now I really have to finish it. But since I don't really mind if she finds out, and because I don't think she reads my webpage with any regularity, I thought I'd go ahead and post a sketch of the dress. I totally free handed this from scratch. Not. But I did choose the colors to approximate the fabric that I chose. Part of me hopes it fits her beautifully, but I have to admit there's another part of me that hopes we have to pin it up and let it out and her boob is falling out all night. That would just be funnier. I'm sure we'll snag at least one picture of her at the party and then we can finally compare one of my sketches to the finished product. And that will make for good times.

Speaking of the party, if you aren't on Myspace and didn't get the invitation, but somehow feel you are deserving of attending, just let me know. We should have plenty of room for more friends. I gotta go attach the dress and the bodice now and then I'll be done. Ha, "bodice," listen to me talking like an old pro. Laaaaaaaate.

Avocado, Ah- Ah- vocado!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

I tried to post yesterday, but I guess Earthlink was having a problem with their servers. Everything on the internet worked except for my webpage. I blogged in Notepad so that I wouldn't lose the thought, but I didn't save it because I was just going to cut and paste it later when everything was working. Last night I was pretty sick so I stayed home and went to bed and then Daniel came home around 3. He hates the sound of the fan in my laptop so he turned my computer off before he got in bed. Long story short (which is pointless to say after you've already told the long story), I lost what I was going to say.

I do know that 95% of the reason I was blogging was to show you my St. Patrick's Day cake. I can't wait to win the lottery and go to culinary school and do shit like this all day long. It started off as a practice cake for Daniel's birthday cake next month, but as soon as I finished, realized the icing was green, and remembered it was St. Patty's Day, I dressed it up with the yellow. Thank g*d I have cake decorating materials on hand at all times. The best part is, the reason the icing is green IS BECAUSE IT'S MADE FROM AVOCADOS. Have you ever heard of anything so crazy? If you watch Alton Brown you have. I have to say, it is curiously delicious. It's light and fresh and citrusy with the lemon juice and orange extract I added. I think it will be a big hit. If you want to try it, you'd better hurry over before Daniel devours the whole thing. He's quite the cake-eater.

I hope everybody had a lovely St. Patrick's Day filled with green beer and devoid of green hangovers. Laaaaaaaaate.

Another friendly Sidesho PSA

Saturday, March 10, 2007

You know how sometimes I give there really great suggestions for how to improve your life? And usually they involve something you should be buying if you aren't already? Well, I've got another one for you.

It has recently come to my attention that many of you have never eaten a mango. And I'm here to tell you that a fresh mango is the most delicious thing you can possibly put in your mouth. It is by far my favorite fruit. I'm in Houston right now at my brother Stephen's house and I bought a couple mangos for us to enjoy. g*d diddly damn they are good. Anyway, here's a picture in case you aren't familiar with what a mango even looks like. Go buy one and cut it up and eat it. Just watch out for the massive lima bean that you will find inside. I don't think you can eat those.

So I came to Houston on Wednesday for work and then decided to stay and visit my brother and his family. It's been really fun. I worked from his house Thursday and Friday. If you consider bike rides to the park work. Hanging out with Kaylyn and Will has been pretty fun. Plus, it makes you really thankful for all the things you don't have in your life. Namely children. I kind of feel about children like I do about dogs. I like them, but I like them better when they belong to someone else and you can just come over occasionally and play with them, but then get rid of them when they poop.

I'm going home tomorrow. This was a nice little visit. I needed a change, my job has fallen into a bit of a rut again. I don't see anything exciting coming on the horizon, so I'm just going to have to rededicate myself to my new attitude towards work. I think if I got back into yoga, I would feel better all around, so I'm going to look into that when i get home.

Whelp, everyone else in this house is asleep, so I guess I'm going to do the same until the early morning shit fits begin. Ciao.

Before and After

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Since Febrehab is a world-wide phenomenon nowadays, I thought it important to create a marketing department to promote the benefits of good clean living. I personally always see a reduction in my massive girth. Telling you I lost 7lbs is impressive, but it doesn't really tell the story, so this year I took a picture on the first day and the last day. That way you could see a true before and after. I suppose I should just let my new brochure speak for itself. Enjoy!

Febrehabruariii Day 21 — The home stretch

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Happy to report things are still going well. I just got back from Daniel's parents' house. His mother cooked this vegetable medley that we poured over soy cheese biscuits. It was pretty delish. She's made a few really exquisite meals for me this month. Such a treat.

One more weekend to go and then, while I am not stopping Febrehabruariii, I am going to reward myself by relaxing the rules a bit. Like tonight, Daniel's mom was going to put anchovies on the salad and remembered last minute to leave them separate. If it were March and there were anchovies on the salad, I would just shut up and eat them. Or if there were wine at the meal, I would have a glass. But for the most part, I am not going to have a cigarette and I'm not going to binge drink. And I'm going to continue to eat a diet that is rich in an assortment of fresh fruits and vegetables instead of 98% soft chicken taco combos. Then we'll just see what happens from there. I am happy to report that my weight loss has resumed, thank g*d, and I've lost a solid 5 pounds now. I'd really like to see more go away, but even this 5 pounds has made a little bit of improvement.

Last weekend we joined our fellow Febrehaber, Lauren, for her game night. She just wanted to have a few friends over to play board games and enjoy a little sober fun. To get people to come, though, she told them if they would like to bring something to drink they could. It turned into too many people drinking and not really being too interested in the games. But I still had a blast. We played Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture Edition and I did pretty well at it. I wasn't the self proclaimed champion of Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture Edition like some people, but I still did better at it then I do the original version that we play at my parents' house.

There was even a chocolate fondue fountain there. It was making a squeeking noise, though, so someone turned it off halfway through the night causing it to solidify and become a total mess. The girl who brought it set out to trying to clean it up. So she had the outer portion of it removed and all that was left was the internal screw that draws the chocolate to the top. Keith told me that he was going to turn it on without the outer portion on. I tried to stop him. I begged him to consider the consequences for his actions. But, alas, I was unsuccessful. Some people. Sheesh. Chocolate went EVERYwhere. We're talking counter tops, carpet, walls, clothes. All I could do was shake my head emphatically and give Keith disapproving looks.

When the wall wouldn't come clean, Daniel and I set off to Walgreens to pick up a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser (the greatest cleaning product known to man). While we were walking around, I got a hair up my ass to get Lauren an "I'm sorry" gift in case she mistakenly thought I had anything to do with turning on the chocolate fountain. What we ended up with was a card that sings, "I'm sorry ... soooo sorry," a decorative bag with tissue paper, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers, and a box of Summer's Eve douche. The card read something like, "Lauren, we're sorry chocolate accidentally got all over your apartment. To apologize we got you the best cleaning products we could find." We giggled for about a solid hour over giving Lauren a box o' douche. The ironic part was that after she opened it, the Summer's Eve still wasn't the biggest douchebox at the party.

But still, it was a great time and we will definitely have to do it again some time. Thanks for being such a gracious hostess, Lauren, and congratulations on being one week away from your first successful Febrehabilitation!

Febrehabruariii Day 4 — It’s a gas!

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Good morning, boys and girls. Today I greet you from the confines of my very spacious and comfortable bed. And although I am breaking one of the covenants of sleep by doing something other than sleeping or fucking in bed, I'm afraid I have very little choice. You see, it wasn't my internet that was broken, it was my wireless router. And since I know precious little about networking, and am employed somewhere where I basically do nothing but troubleshoot all day every day, I have very little interest in trying to fix it. So for now, I'm just going to plug in in my bedroom. Who knows, maybe if I ignore the problem long enough, it'll go away. Seems to work for everything else. At least Ryan S■■■ gave me his extra 6' cable, so I could quit using the 6" cable that ties my router to the wall.

He gave it me to pay for the lunch that I made him. I think maybe you should all start calling me Sidesho With His Shoes Off. I was watching Ina Garten (Contessa With Her Shoes Off) the other day and she was making roasted tomato basil soup. And I thought to myself, "I could do that. I could fuckin do that." So I printed out the recipe and went to the store. The only edits I had to make were soy margarine instead of butter and vegetable stock instead of chicken broth. Cooking is so much easier than baking because you can make substitutions without it ruining everything. But seriously, folks, this soup was from absolute scratch. I chopped up onions and garlic cloves and sauteed them in margarine and olive oil with a sprinkle of red pepper flakes. Meanwhile my tomatoes cut in half were tossed in olive oil, salt, and pepper and were roasting in the oven. Then I mixed them with a can of whole tomatoes, vegetable stock, a shit ton of fresh basil, and thyme. After that boiled and simmered for 40 minutes, I busted out my brand new immersion blender and went to town. Awesome. I do have to say my tomato basil soup was a smidge better than La Madelines. And now that I'm confident in the recipe, I can totally tweak it to my liking.

Being a vegan is proving more challenging than good, clean living. But it is distracting me a little bit from the pains of withdrawl. Unfortunately, it's also making me gassy. I've never had gas before. It's bizarre. I have to assume that drastically altering my diet is to blame and hopefully it'll calm down once I get situated. Because I'll tell you one thing, I will either starve or explode before I break Febrehabruariii. I committed to this and I'm going to see it through til the end, but at this point, don't expect me to be a vegan again next year.

Best wishes to my fellow Febrehabruariiites, especially Matt C■■■■ who has taken this to the extreme and is ingesting nothing but lemonade for a month. You are truly more hardcore than I, sir. Laaaaaaaaaate.

Febrehabruariii Day 1 — On your mark!

Thursday, February 1, 2007

On your mark! Get set! Go! Febrehabruariii begins! So far so good. I was nursing a raging hangover this morning -- one so bad that it required me taking a bath when I rightfully should have been at work -- so that always makes day one a breeze. I'm mostly just hungry. I think I ate enough today, I just never got that hungover satisfaction that a greezy mushroom swiss burger can bring. So far I've had plain ass oatmeal, a veggie sub, cashews, apple sauce and a protein shake. Not exactly busting a gut, but whatever, my body will adjust.

Last night Daniel and I celebrated our one year anniversary. Now, before any of you point out what I know you're going to point out, we decided that no matter how good or how bad things were for a while there, this was still the day that our relationship began. But we decided to party on Febrehabruariii Eve so that we could booze it up at dinner and whatnot. We ate at SoHo over on Beltline. Tres chic, great food, good atmosphere. I can't believe I've never been there. We might go back at some point because they serve hummus and I'm gonna eat me some hummus this month.

I just got back from the grocery store with 100 dollars worth of suitable vegan delights. You can't imagine how hard it was to find bread without milk in it. Or margarine that was totally soy. Reading labels sucks. It takes so much longer to shop. The other downside is that almost everything I got is perishable. So if for some reason I don't eat it all, then it totally goes to waste.

So okay, Daniel just walked in and busted me using his computer. My internet has been down for over a week, hence the lack of updates. I'm gonna go upstairs now and make myself some more blueberry muffins, but this time I'm going to try putting some blueberry juice in the batter like maybe in place of some of the water because I want them to come out blue. Huzzah!

Good luck to everyone who is participating, and by that, I mean Lauren.

Homeless in Seattle

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

In Seattle, it is difficult to tell the homeless from the homeful. Stereotypes about early 90s grunge still dominating here are understatements. I've done my best to adapt by not shaving for 3 weeks, but I'm afraid that without a vintage hobo jacket, tattered Converse, and a pair of cords, no one will ever believe me.

This morning there was about 3 inches of snow accumulated on the ground. You could hardly tell where the curbs and the roads were. I was nervous about driving until I walked on it and there was a surprising amount of traction. My original plan to do a controlled 360 into a parking spot ala Undercover Brother was shot to hell. The weird thing was that by 9am, all the snow had melted. Some freak warm rain storm came through and melted ALL of it. And tonight it's supposed to be back in the 20s. I love talking about the weather.

While I was here I got to go have beers with Stuart. It was really fun. That guy hasn't changed at all except his hair isn't purple and he has no lip ring. I will hopefully see him again before I leave. His sister was visiting him or something and bogarting his time, but I think she left today.

Boy oh boy am I ever ready to get home. I've got a 6 cup tournament with Ryan and Todd scheduled for Saturday night. Daniel's going with me. Anybody else want to chance a trip to Arlington? Scary shit there.

Um, I just felt obliged to update. I really didn't have much to say.

Worst. Post. Ever.

Demolition Derby

Sunday, January 7, 2007

My wine fridge fit almost perfectly under the "bar" area in my living room. It couldn't have been any better if it were custom built. However, the depth was an issue. It had about a 6" overhang. It wasn't a big deal, since that isn't a high traffic area, but still, I thought maybe I could do a little better. I have these built in shelves recessed into a corner of my living room. They occupy the perfect little nook. I think I've shown you a picture of them before when I debuted my Beethoven bust. The only problem was that the bottom shelf would need to be removed.

Let me preface this by saying I'd been laying on the couch watching home improvement shows all day, which sadly, always inspires me to do something to my own apartment. Usually it's painting, but today it was demolition. I got out my biggest hammer and started swinging upward as hard I could. All I really accomplished was some noise pollution. I was on the verge of just giving up when I had an idea.

I ran down to the garage to the trunk of my car and retrieved my jack. I figured if it could hold up my car, it could certainly exert enough force to pry off a book shelf. And I was right. I jacked the shit out of that thing, bending nails and removing them from the framework. It was brilliant. After I finished destroying the shelf, I painted the exposed wall red to match the rest and the results are perfect. You'd never know there was a shelf there to begin with. I popped in the wine fridge and it looks like it was always meant to be there. So excited.

That's all I really had to tell you. I'm leaving tomorrow for Seattle so it depends on how busy I am how much I'll update. This time I have Stuart's phone number so we're hopefully going to hang out a lot. Oh! And yesterday I was walking into my building and ran into G■■■■. He fuckin' moved into my building just down the stairs from me. So welcome to the neighborhood, friend. Sorry I am leaving for two weeks right when you got here but we'll have a house warming when I get back.

Peace out, have-nots.

Happy New Yarrrr!

Saturday, January 6, 2007

Well hello there, have-nots. Welcome to the year 2007. I hope this year has found you all in good spirits and continues to do so for the next twelve months. I have had a pretty good year thus far. In the past, my new year's resolution every year was "to be more open and honest with my opinion." I feel like I might have achieved it every year also. So this time, I came up with a new one. I've decided to stop complaining about my job.

It's true what they say about your attitude being about 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Why should I continue pretending to be surprised by the bull shit I go through? Why not just prepare for it, deal with it, and have a good time doing it? Well, that's just what I'm doing. So far it is working out brilliantly. Like the other day when I found out my trip to Seattle had been moved up one week without anyone telling me or asking me, I just decided it was okay. And then it wasn't a big deal. Sure, it should have pissed me off, but I didn't let it. So on Monday morning I am flying back to Seattle once again. Yippee skippy.

In other news, Salmie passed away last night. Please don't buy me another fish. I'm going to take a break from pet ownership for a while. He was a good fish, and he will be remembered and mourned.

Febrehabruariii is right around the corner. Are you as excited as I am about that? I've done some serious thinking and I've come to a decision about this year. I am going to give up smoking and drinking, of course. But I'm also giving up meat. Yes, folks, you heard me right. And not just meat, but all animal products. Sidesho is going vegan. I don't think the actual practicality of it will be all that difficult. I normally eat an apple at 8, oatmeal at 10, Subway at noon, snack bar at 3, peanut butter sandwich at 5, protein shake after a workout, and then a chicken breast for dinner. So okay, I'll have a veggie sub instead at lunch and then for dinner I'll experiment with soy beans and tofu and the like. I think it'll all but guarantee that I match my first year's weight loss of 11 lbs... believe me, I have it to lose this year! I just pray I don't have to travel during Febrehabruariii.

Daniel just called me. He was throwing up early this morning and went home to sleep. Now he needs a thermometer to see if he's really sick or just feeling icky. So I gotta run to Walgreens. I might pick up some tomato cocktail. It's a little more expensive but thats okay. I don't mind. I try to support my local businesses.

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate.

Xmas makes me sick

Friday, December 29, 2006

Whew. Thank g*d that is over! No, I'm not talking about the holidaze; I'm talking about the plague I came through this week. On Xmas night, I went with Ryan S■■■ to have a few beers, came home, went to bed nearly sober. I woke up about an hour later and the onslaught of vomit, et. al., began. It lasted well into the morning where I found myself so dehydrated and so weak I was unable to hold myself up to throw up anymore, so I just kind of rested my head on the toilet seat and then slumped to the ground.

Something similar happened to me once in college and I ended up getting carted out of the dorm on a stretcher and into an ambulance. So I figured that might be a good idea again. But my insurance company has a 24 hour nurse hotline that I'm in the habit of calling before going to the ER, because that shit's expensive. The nurse wasn't too concerned with my symptoms and taught me how to rehydrate myself without enducing more vomit. I wanted to share it with you all. If you throw up, you should wait an hour before you attempt to eat or drink anything. Then after one hour you can begin to drink one ounce of water every 20 minutes. I did that, threw up one more time, tried it again, and it finally worked.

So there I was at 8 in the morning, freezing cold, sweating, shaking, my lips are dry and my stomach is tumbling, holding onto a shot glass filled with tap water watching the clock waiting for the next time that I can start sipping my meager nourishment again. It sucked so bad.

But, 16 hours later, I had progressed to crackers, and 24 hours later, I was basically fine. Still, it was awful. But at least the next time it happens I'll know what to do.

Other than that Xmas was good. Lots of little kids. Five total nieces and nephews this year. It's a far cry from the adult-only Xmases of yesteryear where everything was accompanied by a glass of scotch. But it was fun to convince a toddler that a fat man with a sack of toys climbed down the chimney while she was taking a nap. I've never really gotten to do that.

I got a wine fridge for Xmas. My brother Michael from California got it for me. It holds 28 bottles! I'm trying to figure out the best way to stock it. I might just buy a case of my favorite wine and then fill in the rest a few bottles at a time. But shit, 28 bottles is a lot. So if you want to bring me some wine, feel free, I have plenty of real estate.

In other news, Daniel has been in California for a long time now. He met up with his old baby sitter while he was there (he grew up there). She is now married to the brother of the mom from Mr. Belvedere! I'm not sure how that fact came to light, but it's true. Beeeoooowwwwww Streaks on the china! He said they're going to try to get me an autographed picture from her. I would truly cherish it. He also said they're going to give her my webpage address so she can see my Mr. Belvedere montage. That would rule. So if you're her, then welcome! I'm a huge fan. And we just might live the good life yet!

Wide receiver

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Last night I went to Daniel's parents' house for dinner as we do from time to time. When I got there, there was a large, misshapen box wrapped and bowed for me. It was an xmas present from the whole family. I was pretty excited to open it. The first thing that was in there was a large, hollow, fake gourd. His mother had placed it on top of the box to throw me off as to the contents. But below that was a brand new receiver! (As if a rectangular box is obviously receiver shaped.) Now, I know they say it's better to give than to receive, but if you give a receiver, does it all even out?

I have no speakers, but Daniel had a few that he doesn't use anymore and an extra subwoofer just laying around. He also had a VCR he doesn't use any more. So we trucked it all over to my apartment and I ate chips while he hooked it all up. Yes, folks, this relationship is finally starting to pay off.

A little while ago Daniel came home with two festive holiday ovalish kleenex boxes. His mother had given them to him and told him to give one to me. I chose the one I liked better. For some reason they were all in half English, half French, and the top of mine said, "Doux." So I said, "Oh my g*d, Daniel, why does this say 'douche'?!" And he grabbed the box, panic striken, and after reading it ... continued to be panic striken for a good additional 4 seconds. And I laughed. So hard.

I didn't laugh so much at the fact that I was able to convince him, albeit momentarily, that the kleenex was actually a douchebox (that's a new insult, try it). I laughed because I imagined his mother, innocently reaching into what she thought was a douchebox and pulling out a kleenex instead. And then she kind of pauses, confused, face melts to terror, and she yells, "Oh no! Danny!"

We were relaying that story to a girl friend of Daniel's and we were laughing about how douche could very well come in a box, as much as we know about it, which is nothing. And she informed us that douche is nothing but vinegar and water! There you go, ladies. I help you out. Save yourself some money.

Speaking of recipes, yesterday I found these really delicious looking avacados at the grocery store. I've never made guacamole before, but I was inspired. So I called my brother because his wife makes a pretty killer batch of guac. Her recipe uses salsa. Holy crap, that's brilliant. Instead of chopping up all the onions and g*d knows what else people pile in there, you just spoon in salsa. And then a little salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Mmm Mmm. I hope she doesn't mind me divulging her secrets here. But seriously, it was so easy and delicious. I left it sitting out and it turned black. Shit. But I have half a mind to go get some more 'cados. But I probably won't.

Oh dear, my father is bringing over new end tables for me tonight and my apartment is a total mess. I should probably at least hide the mess if I don't clean the mess. Hangovers are so demotivating. We'll see how far I get. Is it just me or do my hungover posts jump from subject to subject a lot more than normal? Oh well. Later have-nots.

We just might live the good life yet!

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Daniel's lil sister let us borrow one disc of the latest season of Family Guy. We couldn't help but watch the entire thing last night. On one episode Stewie is getting annoyed because people keep talking while he's trying to watch Mr. Belvedere. So he starts screaming the theme song on top of them. Way funny. But I remarked to Daniel, "How many people on Earth know the Mr. Belvedere theme song well enough to make that joke?" You can be sure it's a minority ... a minority I must be a part of. So we went to YouTube. g*d bless YouTube. Of course they had it. And now, for your viewing pleasure ... the first YouTube I've ever posted on my blog:

I need you all to watch it because you can't hang out with Daniel and I right now without being able to laugh when one of us imitates the trombone intro and we start singing, "Streaks on the china ... never mattered before. Who cares? Drop kick your jacket as you came through the door. No one's there! According to our new arrival, life is more than mere survival and we just might live the good life yet." Hilarious. As if people who can afford a fucking fat, sassy British live-in butler haven't quite gotten to experience the good life yet.

When I was trying to find the Mr. Belvedere theme, I was thinking all I could remember is that there was a montage of photos for each cast member. So I'm going to try and recreate it for myself.

Oh man, I'm awesome. Lastly, I just have to mention the SNL sketch where they had a support group for people who were in love with Mr. Belvedere. Only they called him Brocktoon or something like that so that other people outside of the club wouldn't know they were talking about Mr. Belvedere. Holy shit, I never thought my life would be so inundated with a crappy 80's sitcom starring Bob Uecker for xrist's sake. Oh well, you should all be so lucky.

Freezing salt water part II

Thursday, November 30, 2006

It seems like such an appropriate time to be discussing freezing water with the shit falling from the sky right now. Not that I can complain, though. They shut down my office 3 hours early today so that we could all get home safely. So that's where I find myself ... heat on full blast, Food Network blazing.

I checked on my sub-zero salt water when I got home. The results were ... encouraging. I can't really say that it failed because the water was unable to freeze solid. It was a really liquidy slushy consistency. It could probably work really well to cool a beer. I was really hoping that it would be totally liquid, though. So I took my brother's advice and I've boiled the water and added the second half of a can of salt to it. I think it all dissolved. I'm letting it cool to room temperature before I put it back in the freezer. Let's hope he was right about hot water holding and then retaining more salt.

I will say this, though. I stuck my finger in the slush and it was painfully cold. As soon as I'm satisfied with the final recipe of salt water (I think I'm almost there: 1 part water to 1 part shit ton of salt) I will be using my digital thermometer to see how fast and how far I can cool a beer from room temperature. I think you're all going to want to go ahead and get your own bucket of salt water into the freezer.

Speaking of a beer.... I gotta go.

I saw Peter Nygård, are you jealous?

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Friday night Daniel and I went to the movie theater on account of my surgery keeping me from being able to drink. Whenever I'm sober and I try to think of something to do, I always end up at the movie theater. It's just about the only wholesome activity I am aware exists.

As we were pulling up to the Valley View Mall, we were behind this ostentatious Mercedes-Benz SUV. It had a flatscreen TV at the front of the passenger cabin and one at the back. And instead of seats it had benches. The side of the truck had this huge picture of this old dude with Einstein hair and his signature and logo. It was none other than... drum roll... Peter Nygård! Holy shit!

If you're like me, then your reaction to that news was a little something like, "Who?" As we passed by Dillards we saw people running around with walkie-talkies and a crowd of people waiting. This was clearly where Peter was heading. We parked by the movie theater and then I ran over to Dillards because I was far too curious. I asked a guy with an earpiece who Peter Nygård was and he said he designs women's clothes that sell at Dillards. Well it just so happened that as I was getting this information, the same Mercedes-Benz monstrosity pulled up next to me.

About 6 hot hoochies stepped out first. Daniel was pulling me toward the theater so we could get seats but I told him to wait because I really wanted to clap for Peter Nygård. So this old guy steps out and I started clapping wildly, trying to get everyone around me started as well. It didn't work. And I didn't stop.

I was clearly on drugs.

Then we went to see the new James Bond flick, Casino Royale. Read my review. It was so awesome. I want you all to go see it today.

Tonsillec-to-me

Saturday, November 18, 2006

As many of you know, mostly due to my constant reminders, yesterday I bid a sweet farewell to my tonsils. I have hated these things for years and years and years. They were too big and always getting in the way. And the slightest bit of disease in my bloodstream and they would swell up and start making out with each other. Nasty.

So I had a tonsillectomy. The week prior to the tonsillectomy, I googled things like, "What to expect after a tonsillectomy," "I am going to have a tonsillectomy," "Benefits of a laser tonsillectomy." I say these things in case anyone else is in my predicament and turns to the all knowing, all powerful Google for answers. I found several online forums dedicated entirely to people who have had tonsillectomies. Crazy, I know. They were all miserable. People were posting things like, "It's been 16 days and still no relief. I want to die." Talking all about how they can't take the pain but 3 weeks on a steady supply of painkillers was driving them insane. How malnurished they were from not being able to eat or swallow. Scary, scary stuff.

But I didn't have a traditional tonsillectomy. I had this brand new procedure done. My tonsils weren't actually removed, they were vaporized. And they didn't remove the entire thing, only about 90% of the tissue. You see, the tonsils sit in your throat and attach themselves in and among some muscle wall lining of your neck. In order to excise them, you must cut into that muscle -- hence unbearable pain. But you can get all the benefits of a full tonsillectomy by removing 90% of the tissue -- most certainly in my case since it was just an obstruction. The 10% of tissue they leave behind is the stuff that is attached to the muscle wall. No cutting, no pain.

I did have to endure once again getting numbed up. I had to take about 16 shots directly into the tonsils. Not pleasant. And you know how when you have a tooth pulled, you're like totally numb, but you can still feel them ripping your tooth out, your head jerks back and forth, you hear the root cracking free from the jawbone. Okay, it's like that. It didn't hurt to have my tonsils lasered into vapor, but I could feel it. And it was weird and unpleasant. Not to mention the fact that every few minutes we had to stop so I could blow the smoke out of my mouth. Acrid, nasty, foul smoke. Although once I did successfully blow a smoke ring and the doctor was impressed. And of course, the farther into the tonsil that we ventured, the less numbing medication had made it down there, so occasionally we had to stop and swab the gaping open wounds in my mouth with more numbing agent.

It sounds horrific, and it was, but nothing compared to the alternative. So this is my advice to you all. If you're thinking of getting a tonsillectomy -- STOP! Do not do a fucking thing until you've spoken to me and we're making sure you're getting a true laser tonsillectomy, not just using a laser to cauterize the wounds to reduce bleeding. Why would you bother listening to me? Let's just say that yesterday for lunch, I had Chic-Fil-A. For dinner, I had a large slice of Pastazio's sausage pizza. And on the way home from the movies, we stopped off at Wendy's. This morning I woke up... no pain. I am beyond ecstatic, especially since I took a week off work to recover and it appears I'm already done.

Everything that can be done, has been done. If this doesn't do the trick, then I'm just gonna have to fight, fuck, or hit the fence. I don't really know what the means but Justin emailed me about Con-Air the other day and random quotes got stuck in my head as a result. I'm off now, it's time for a pill cocktail and a lazy day. Peace out.

The wheels on the bus go round and round

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

My apologies to anybody who has had a birthday party in the past that I've attended. Because you've all been trumped. Let me tell you a little bit about the best birthday party ever.

I guess I should start by wishing Adam a very happy 23rd. His birthday was this last Thursday and he threw a humdinger of a shindig on Saturday. We rode around Dallas on a g*d damned charter bus drinking, singing, dancing, and bar hopping. It was so much fun. We were on the bus from about 10 until a little after 2 and went to the Walrus Bar, Iron Cactus, and ended up at Sherlocks in Addison. His friends were all super and I drank more than I have in a really long time. Daniel and I both slept the next day until 5pm. I haven't done that in years. I can't imagine how much trouble Adam went through to put all of this together, but I encourage all of you to copy him. And invite me.

In other news, just a remind that the ol' tonsils come out on Friday. So I'll be out of commission for a while. They claim one day. I'm planning on one week minimum. Please don't visit since I'm removing a part of my immune system and won't be fully protected again until it fully heals, but feel free to send me get-well-soon money. Laaaaaaaaate.

Campbells! Mmm! Mmm! good… possibilities!

Sunday, November 5, 2006

I don't think I would even attempt this blog were it not for the raging hangover I am weathering at the moment. Sometimes it clouds my judgement. I am going to try to explain to you all why twice yesterday I almost wet myself laughing on separate occasions, but I fear the "I guess you had to be there." Alas, onward and upward let's start the show.

The first time I laughed, I was sitting on my couch watching TV with my dear friend JennyC■■■. Incidentally, JennyC■■■ is concerned that whenever I mention her on my website, it's usually combined with some kind of rip on Mormons -- because they're all fucking retarded -- but this time I wanted it to be different. I want you all to know that JennyC■■■ is cool man, yeah. So okay, we're on the couch and that new Campbell's soup commercial comes on. It goes, "Campbells, mmm mmm good... possibilities!" And it shows some douchebag dipping a grilled cheese sandwich into their tomato soup. When the commercial was over, Jenny was all, "Really... just how many possibilities are there... it's soup." And we started laughing and singing, "Crumble a cracker on top, um, or you could just dip in bread. Possibilities!" But also you have to imagine some guy in a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, pencil in his mouth, plinking away at the piano. He's just come up with the perfect tune and chorus and is now desperately trying to come up with some possibilities for soup. Punctuate the day with random bursts of "Campbells! Mmm! Mmm! good... possibilities!" and you've got instant funny.

The next time I laughed hysterically was after Thommi and I got back from S4. Oh yeah, Thommi's here, but I'll talk about that another time. I'm not sure if he's lied to anybody and I'm not supposed to mention he's here. Anyway, Daniel and I were relating a story about something we'd chuckled about the other day, but this time it was g*d diddly damn hilarious. His mother loves this wine called Conundrum. It's kind of sweet for my taste, but certainly tasty, you should try it. The reason it's called Conundrum is because the flavors within are hard to discern. And the slogan is, "Puzzling, yet satisfying." I'm not sure if that's actually the slogan or if Daniel made that up. So then we embellished it to, "Puzzling, yet satisfying ... like a toe in the twat." Because that's the only thing we could think of that was both puzzling and satisfying. Now for this one you have to imagine a black and white CK type commercial with a woman in bed. There's a man sleeping head-to-toe with her. First her face is startled, then horrified, then utterly confused, then a huge satisfied smile. Conundrum. Like a toe in the twat.

I swear to fucking xrist, I should be in marketing. Speaking of jebus, there are these xmas cards I want at Urban Outfitters. It has a picture of jebus on the front gathering the children around him and he's saying, "Happy Birthday to me!" and then on the back they say, "Merry Christmas to you!" So cute.

Okay, I'm going to join the recovery sleep fest again. If you didn't think this blog was funny, then you obviously just didn't get it. Laaaaaaaaaaaaate.

Happy Halloween

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I don't have a lot of time to write because I've been challenged by my coworker to a no-holds-barred, loser-buys-the-pitcher, night of bowling. But I couldn't wait any longer to share with you all what I consider the Top 1 reason to visit Manassas, VA.

If you ever find yourself in this fine town, make your way out to the Sweet Water Tavern. There you should order the pasta jambalaya. ANNNND... the Ghost Town Pumpkin Beer.

First off, it's a really good pumpkin beer. And I should know because I've had a lot of pumpkin beers. Well, not like a whole lot, but probably more than you, bitch. Anyway, this is the best part. The glass came with the rim dipped in graham cracker crumbs! Like a fucking pie crust. It was genius. So delicious.

As soon as I get home, I'm perfecting this on my own. Who wants to come to my pumpkin beer party?

I heard he sang a good song…

Friday, October 27, 2006

If you haven't ever seen Dave Chapelle's Block Party, I suggest you go rent it immediately and bask in it. Just bask. I rented it last night when Blockbuster didn't have Strangers with Candy (so lame). So now I'm sitting home alone with a bottle of Patrón chilling in the freezer thoroughly enjoying myself. I got dressed up for no reason, fried some dinner in butter and life is good.

I remember the first time I saw Block Party. It was when the ever lovely Miss Lesbie Ann B■■■■■ was in my hizzell and we wanted a drizzell in the mornizzle, like you do. After drinking breakfast at the Gecko we went to Studio Movie Grill and laughed our asses off at this movie in between martinays. Loves it.

On Monday I have to get up at 4am. I have a 6am flight to Manassas, VA. Well, there's no airport in Manassas, obviously, but it is right near Washingtown, DC. I have to be there for a week with work. I would be lying if I didn't say I was looking forward to it. I've gotten in a rut lately, if you haven't noticed. I hardly ever leave my apartment. I never go anywhere or do anything. That is one downfall to dating. You just get comfortable and stop trying to look around for fun things to do. So now I'm going to Manassas. If I weren't dating Daniel then I'd say I looked forward to getting some asses in Manassas, but it's just a tag line now.

I got my sister's name in our annual xmas gift exchange. She's a 30-something news anchor, soon-to-be-mother of two with a brand new house. Give me gift ideas. I am not having any ideas pop into my head.

Like I said, not too many hilarious stories to tell from the couch unless you want me to recount my favorite episodes of Family Guy.... No? Then FUCK YOU. I'm out. Peace.

zoom zoom!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

In my continuing quest to save money, I got my teeth Zoom! whitened on Thursday. I hadn't really considered doing it until my 200 year old dentist put it in my head that I would be an excellent candidate for tooth whitening. Who the fuck isn't a good candidate? Honestly. Anyway, after hearing that I started thinking my teeth were fugly and yellow so I did it. If you're considering this Zoom! whitening, I want you all to think about it seriously.

I had to be in this chair for like 2 hours. They even gave me a pillow before we started, which should have been my first clue. Then they put that thing in your mouth that holds your lips back and get to work. Since Zoom! is speed up with some kind of light (I don't know what kind exactly, just that it will burn your skin if left exposed) they have to cover all of your tissue. That includes the lips, face, gums. They used some gauze-like material and shoved it into every nook and cranny of my mouth. Along my gums they used that blue shit that hardens under a light. So a piece of gauze along my gum line, and then the hardened blue shit down to the detailed sections, holding the gauze down. It was so uncomfortable. Then they shove this overhead projector inside your mouth and you can't move for 15 minute intervals.

I think my teeth are definitely better. The doctor says I went from and A2/A3 to an A1/B1, so you KNOW that's good right? But the fact of the matter is, my teeth weren't that bad before and they're not that great now, so I have yet to have anyone notice. I haven't given up yet though because I have a 2 week at home treatment to complete before the process is over. I just have to wait until Sunday to begin that or she said my teeth would get too sensitive.

My teeth are also dehydrated ... something I was unaware was possible. You'd think them being bone, first off, would make it hard to dehydrate them. And living their entire lives in a saliva filled pie hole might help too. But they assure me my teeth are dehydrated. So to drink coffee would not only be counterproductive during the whitening process, but would actually have a greater effect than usual. My teeth will soak up any pigment they are given. So essentially for the next 3 weeks or so, no coffee, no tea, no smoking, and absolutely no red wine. Arg. So far so good on all accounts. I got some vodka last night and Daniel made me a martini but the urge to smoke was growing, growing so I went to bed instead.

And that's just about all that's been happening lately. Sorry for the lack of posts, but either my life has gotten boring or my alertness as of late has made me less apt to mull over details of my day to find an interesting story for you all. Either way, I'm still goin strong. Tell your friends about me.

A Public Service Announcement

Sunday, September 17, 2006

It's time for another of those very, very rare treats... a drunken SideshoViD.com update! I just spent the most lovely evening with Daniel. We started out with dinner at Antonio's. I fucking love Antonio's. Not only do they know how to make my martini (very, very, very, very, very dirty with just a *splash* of vermouth (I've since given up efforts to define wet or dry)) but they have the best food ever. Mmmm carpaccio.

Anyway, tonight was another night of the continuing Oktoberfest here in Äddison! I accidentally bought too many tickets (Oktoberfest currency) so we had to chug beers the entire time to avoid wasting tickets. When we left I wanted more beer so I told Daniel we could go to the beer store and pick some up. He assured me that midnight was the latest you could buy. But I was SURE it was 1am on a Saturday. I called Ryan S■■■ to confirm this and he told me that it was indeed midnight.

On the way to the car we passed by our Addison! Circle friend, Dave, who told us that it was 11pm. We both knew that there was no way that was true. I was so sure it was 1am that I told Daniel drinks were on me at any bar in town if I was wrong.

Well long story short (which is pointless to say after you've already told the long story) I was right. You can buy beer until 1am on a Saturday in Texas. And that, my friends, is my public service announcement to you. So hurry, you still have five minutes! Later, bitches!

At 21+ Airlines, we hate kids … and it shows.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

I am back in Addison! once again. I have managed to finagle a way out of going back to Seattle, at least for the immediate future. I wouldn't be half surprised if I spent at least one more week there. And that's okay. I don't mind occasional travel, it's just this trickery and moving of one's permanent residence that rubs me raw.

So anyway, you know how I'm like full of million-dollar ideas? I've been tossing this one around for a while and I finally figured it out. There hasn't been one plane ride in the recent future that I've not been near a screaming child. Why so many children commute between Seattle and Dallas I will never know. And I must reiterate to you parents, no one thinks your child is cute but you. Don't give me a chuckle and a shake of the head when your deformed looking twins shit their pants on descent and I have to smell it for 30 minutes. That's when I came up with my new airline. Ladies and gentiles, I present to you -- 21+ Airlines!

Just imagine the possibilities. Business travelers wouldn't have to put with with white trash parents that overcrowd the overhead bins with their strollers and rockers. You could actually sleep on the way home after a long week in another city. Boarding and unboarding of the plane would be quick and painless. Yes, 21+ Airlines is a fantastic idea. It might even be a cabin full of first class. And there is a two drink minimum. I'm going to be so fucking rich.

On my flight to L.A. (for my layover, those bastards) I was sitting next to a mother and her 5 year old daughter. The daughter would not stop screaming, kicking the chair in front of her, and crying because her ears were popping. And in between that she was overly excited because she was on her way to Disneyland. She told everyone on the plane she was going. She screeched to her dad a few rows up, "Thanks for taking me to Disneyland, daddy!" All would have been cute in the proper context ... say, a preschool. Or a playground. But on a plane, annoying. So I tried to sleep through the whole flight and when we landed, she siezed the opportunity to tell me she was going to Disneyland. And I said, "Really? Hmm, I don't think it's open this time of year." And the mom laughed, hit me, and said, "Oh, COME ON." But I don't even think the little girl heard me so we had a good laugh over it.

I brought the SkyMall magazine home with me from the plane. I want to order just about everything in there. I think I'm going to finally get some houseplants and then buy an automatic waterer so they might actually stay alive. And I want a hydroponic herb grower. And a gentle wake alarm clock. And a massage chair. And damn, I'm lucky I have no money otherwise it'd be gone.

I think first on my to-do list is to get my windows taken care of. I can't take that sun in my bedroom anymore. It won't be cheap but I think if I just get some heavy fabric, fold it to make it look kind of like vertical blinds, and just nail it to the wall behind the vertical blinds, no one will see it from the inside and no one will notice it from the outside. Unfortunately there's some "rule" against aluminum foil. Jerks.

I felt obliged to update right away because my brother said he was going to remove me from his Favorites list on account that I don't update much lately. I want you all to know that I am not going gentle into that good night, I've just been out of town so fucking much. So bear with me and keep coming back for more.

Here we go again

Sunday, September 10, 2006

In 30 minutes I am leaving for the airport to fly back to Seattle. I will spend the week there returning on Friday. Then my company expects that I will board a plane again the following Monday and stay through the next Friday. In fact, they expect that I will continue to do this for the next 2 months. In reality, I will spend my free time in Seattle surfing Monster.com to find a new job.

They wanted me to fly out this Monday but I refused. I don't know if it's silly or not but I just won't fly on September 11. Especially not for work to somewhere I don't want to go. So they were pissy about that. They told me the arrangements couldn't be changed. I told them I would be in the office in Dallas on Monday morning if they wanted to contact me regarding future travel. They had no choice but to cave.

There were some emails sent back and forth regarding my performance in Seattle the last time I was there. I was basically trying to get out of going back, and they were trying to pin it all on me -- perfectly understandable. However, I'm going in swinging this time. It's no longer their time. It's my time. I have my own laundry list of items I would like to address. If at any time they refuse to take my advice that they are paying for, that item will be crossed off and may not be brought up again. When the list is finished, I am gone. I'm just so glad that they pissed me off before I came, because now I have no qualms laying down the law.

In other news, Daniel, his sister, and I all went to the Goo Goo Dolls/Counting Crows concert last night. It was too much fun. The show was great. We didn't stay through the entire concert because Daniel's sister claimed to have never heard of Counting Crows so we left early through their set. But I got to hear Omaha, Big Yellow Taxi, and Colorblind. Those are three of my favorite songs so I was satisfied.

Not sure what else to report really. I'll update from Seattle if I get bored but I already have plans to hang out with Philip and Robin some more and expense our good times. Grumble, grumble. Ugh, czech you all on the flip side.

Walla walla wanna come home.

Monday, August 28, 2006

g*d, I have been dreading this post. You know how you just have too many stories to tell and then you don't tell them and they pile up to the point where you really would just rather let them go by the wayside? Well, no, none of you understand. All of your blogs died after a few months. Trust me, though, it's rough.

I've been in Seattle for over a week now. All in all I'm liking the city. I don't like the way people drive here though. They take the speed limit as some kind of "limit" for your "speed" instead of a starting point for negotiation that you automatically add 5mph to... y'know, like normal people. It's fucking annoying. The bigass van they gave me to tool around in more than justifies any kind of driving I feel like doing.

On Tuesday, I made some friends. For some reason I never have any trouble making friends when I'm living in a foreign city. I guess I'm just that fun, outgoing, and internet savvy. Their names are Phillip and Robin and they're my new SBFF. They live up on Capital Hill, which is a literal fucking hill that I have marched up and down countless times in the past week. It's been worth it though because we always have fun when I get to the top. They have this cat. Oh man, I have to tell you about this cat. It is half cat, half bobcat, and it's obvious in its markings and in the face that this is the case. He also has short ears like a bobcat. What they tell me is that a bobcat is the only feline other than a domesticated cat that can successfully mate with a domesticated cat. However, the babies are usually so retarded that they don't even make it full term. Well this cat beat the odds. His name is Webol. They calls him that because he wobbles when he walks. He looks like he's severely intoxicated when he walks. It is so damn cute. If he wants you to scratch his head, you have to use two hands -- one to stabilize him, and one to pet him. I'm not an animal person, but I like this cat.

So I've pretty much spent the week working some, and then meeting Phillip and Rob, or one or the other, for food and shopping and drinks. We went out pretty hard this weekend. Another city's gay clubs under my belt ... maybe that's not a good way to describe my collection of gay clubs. Anywho.

I am so ready to come home. I miss Daniel and the stoop and Coors Light and Mexican food and Whataburger and my couch and my TV and my bed and Salmie and J's. Good thing I'll be home just in time for Kaboomerang (what I was calling Kaboomtwon, but I'll conceed their name is better). Friday can't come soon enough. I've had fun here, but I want to come home. ARG. I'm going to be coming back to Seattle a lot.

I'm on the phone so this post is over.

Globetrotting

Monday, August 21, 2006

Where to begin? I guess, first, I should mention that I'm reaching out to you all from a two-story Starbucks in Seattle, WA. Not three days after I returned home from my DC/NYC vacation, I boarded a plane for a four-hour flight to the great northwest.

When I was sitting in the terminal waiting for my flight, I noticed a particularly ill-behaved toddler screaming his head off. I just knew he would be sitting near me. And I was right. This little fucker was directly across the aisle from me ... and he did not shut the fuck up the entire flight. He was screaming for the sake of screaming. Now here's what really bothers me. His mother catches my glare, smiles, chuckles, shakes her head ... like she's expecting me to be the same, like, "Eh! What'reyagonnado?!" and ruffle the kid's hair. I'll tell you what you should do. You should smack that kid so fucking hard that the next time he ever thinks about screaming on a crowded airplane, the resulting Pavlovian headache is crippling enough to quell that impulse. Good lord, people, it's bad enough you decided to breed, then decided to do a poor job in raising your children, but at least have the foresight not to bring them in public. No one thinks your kid is cute but you.

Except my nieces. They're all adorable.

So Seattle kinda sucks. The weather is pretty kickass, but I'm bored out of my gourd. I don't know anyone here and my room doesn't have internet access until I move hotels on Thursday. I really just want to be home, but that won't happen until September 1. Somebody call the whambulance.

My trip to DC was spectacular. Daniel and I got along famously, something that had mildly concerned me before our departure. While we spend nearly every hour outside of school and work together, that doesn't always give you a good indication of how you'll handle 24/7 with a person. But it was not even an issue. We spent every night in DC gay bar hopping. We got to meet up with Mr. K■■■■■■ and my dear friend JonS■■■. DC is a pretty cool city, but it's missing that essential pretentious attitude that makes going out really fun. Nobody dresses up. They wear flip-flops and cameo shorts and sleeveless Ts out the bar. What's the fun in that? Daniel and I had to get all fancied up and go out with our sunglasses on to show em how we do. Daniel's dad had a nice apartment in Dupont Circle with a huge terrace. The terrace was surrounded on three sides by a tall brick wall, and the fourth side was a rod iron fence. So every night when we were smashed and getting home, we'd climb the rod iron fence to sit on top of the brick wall and smoke cigarettes. Every single night one of us got hurt. Daniel tore his foot open. I have a puncture wound on each knee. You'd think we would learn our lesson after a few nights, but we managed to avoid any lessons learned.

New York was a b-last. I still don't like the city, but I definitely like the time I had there. We stayed with Daniel's friend David (so bear with me during this story, I'm not speaking in the third person). David showed us as much as he could in the short weekend we were there. We went to some good bars, but they were all so fucking packed. I can't imagine paying 8 times as much for an apartment 1/4 the size just to spend every night packed into bars so tightly that it's hard to even drink. And if you go to New York, make sure you take a lot of cash. IF places even took credit cards, they all had minimums. 5 dollars at most stores, 50 at some bars, and one bar even said they wouldn't swipe my card more than once when I told them to just run it. I suppose if you're marking up alcohol 800% customer service isn't at the forefront of your concerns. But like I said, we still managed to have a blast. One day we went on a Project Runway tour of the city. We went to Bryant Park, and Parsons New School for Design, and the Red Lobster that Santino made fun of Tim Gunn and Andre about. We went to Mood, the fabric store they always shop at and had a fabric scavenger hunt. We managed to find 3 of the fabrics that they've used on the show this season. Too exciting. We also went to the flagship Macy's and they had a window display with all of the winning outfits so far this season. It was fun to look at them up close. By far one of my favorite parts of the vacation. The other day we just kind of strolled around Central Park. Thank you thank you thank you to our most gracious host and newest Sidesho-Viewer, David. Can't wait to see you again soon!

We did so much walking on our trip. I really felt like my legs got a good workout, since they haven't had any recently. We also took a train from DC to NYC. That was a first for me. I like the train. The train is kind of like what I assume airplanes would be like if there weren't assholes trying to blow them up all the time. You just kind of get on where you need to get on and then get off when you need to get off. It just made a lot of sense to me.

I have to apologize for the length of this blog. I had a lot to say and nothing else to do in this fucking city. I'm bored. If anybody knows somebody who lives in Seattle, or knows somebody who knows somebody PLEASE get in contact with me. I would kill for some company. Alright, I'll update more when I have internet in my room. Later, bitches.

Adios, bitches

Monday, August 7, 2006

I'm off tomorrow for my week long vacation to Washington, D.C. and New York City with Daniel. I can't imagine that I'll have internet access readily available (or that Daniel will tolerate me updating my website when there are so many things to do). So this is my farewell to you all. I will update when I get home and let you know how it went. Laaaaaaater bitches!

I’ll let these pictures speak for theyselves

Thursday, August 3, 2006

Any of you that have been to my residence in the past seven or so years have probably had the good fortune of witnessing the most beautiful coffee table ever created. It started out as a normal coffee table donated to my dorm room by a friend of my mother. One freshman year later and the facade was horribly damaged and the finish nearly entirely removed by spilt Everclear. I knew something had to be done, so I enlisted the help of my very artistic and talented friend, JennyC■■■, and soon ended up with this...

It's beautiful. It's creative. I love it. HOWever, it does not exactly fit in with the color palatte of my apartment. I had considered the whole space/ocean/mountain/sky theme for my living room, but instead went with tan and red. Considering Ryan S■■■ and I are someday going to open up Tan & Red Designs together, it was a no-brainer. Anyway, the table holds a lot of sentimental value to me because Jenny and I did it together so long ago, so I knew I couldn't get rid of it. I thought maybe I could cut the legs off and use it as a wall hanging, but again, not really in keeping with my concept of "vintage Parisian." What to do? What to do indeed.

I've been using the table in my bedroom ever since the redesign. It sits directly behind the head of my bed and serves to hold my many extra pillows. You never know when you need to switch in the middle of the night to a softer or firmer or more Tempur-pedic pillow. It's a pillow table. A pillow-table? Solution! I present to each of you, the new and improved pillow-top coffee table. I used three blocks of foam to create each section and then covered the whole thing in faux leather vinyl stuff. After I stapled it down, I put a row of brass tacks between each cushion and then a border of brass tacks around the edge. I didn't think it would turn out showcase quality, but I was pleasantly surprised at how well I did. It isn't perfect, but it's perfect for me. I think it looks so cool. So fashion forward. (Sorry, I just got done watching Project Runway.) It was a fun little project, and one that I have a bruised thumb and several bleeding cuts to show for. You know me, my art hurts me so. I had to offer it up for your approval. As always, I'll entertain your comments as long as your comments entertain me.

My trip to Washington, D.C. and New York City is fast approaching. If you'd like to hang out be sure to let me know. I've already gotten word from JonS■■■ and Mr. K■■■■■■. Hopefully, I'll be able to hook up with Topher in NYC. As an added bonus, the Monday after I get home from vacation, I will be jetting off to Seattle! You believe that? So if anybody is in the northwest, also let me know. Mr. Ryan C■■■■■■ has already expressed an interest, but I should have puh-lenty of time up there, so I'd love some company. g*d, I'm such a jetsetter. I think it's bed time. Czech you sluts later!

Sittin’ on top o’ the world

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Als ich mein kleines Diagramm heute morgen saege, beachtete ich, daß mein Punkt über Deutschland gewachsen war. Das bedeutet, daß ich mehr als zehn Besucher von dort gehabt habe. Da ich nur eine Person in Deutschland kenne, muß es mein Freund Marc sein, die meine Web site liest. So wollte ich erklären ihm hallo.

I'm takin over the world, baby. In fact, on BBC.com, they just had an article about the happiest countries in the world. Denmark came in first place. The U.S. was 23rd. This little map shows happiness in the world with red being the most happy and yellow being the most African. I took the liberty of overlaying my ClustrMap dots on top of this map. If you'll notice you'll see that the highest concentration of my dots are all over the happiest countries of the world. Coincidence? I think not. I am the light.

I made Daniel go out to Antonio's with me last night because I wanted to attempt to have a cocktail. I wasn't sure if the alcohol would sting my throat, or if alcohol would go right up my nose as water as been doing. (Did I already mention that the uvula is responsible for closing off the nasal passage when swallowing?) Well, I am happy to report that I had two "very, very dirty Absolut martinis," my drink of choice these days, and had absolut-ly no problems. I'm back, baby! Although, I did have a problem that maybe you alchys can help me with....

My first martini was delicious. And really, there's so much olive brine in my glass that it's hard to taste much of anything but that. However, I thought I detected an overbearingness of vermouth. When the waiter came to see if I wanted a refill I said, "Yes, oh and I think I forgot to mention, I also wanted it dry." And he said, "Oh, I'm sorry. So, more vermouth? You got it."

I was under the impression that a "dry martini" -- or a "dry vodka martini" for you purists -- would contain less vermouth than a regular martini. The research I've done online this morning suggests I'm correct. Wikipedia says, "A dry martini uses less dry vermouth than normal, perhaps a dash or lace of the glass." That makes no sense that a dry martini would use less dry vermouth, but it matches up with my original assumption. Am I right or am I retarded? What I want is a martini glass filled with equal parts of olive juice and ice cold vodka. How would one go about ordering this?

Tonsils, ash trays, mojitos, and trash cans

Sunday, July 23, 2006

I was trying to take a picture of my tonsils for you. They are so swollen and painful that I ended up taking myself to the emergency room yesterday morning. I wish you could all see them but even the best picture that I was able to take is a high contrast, blurry, red mess. They really are disgusting though, trust me. Turns out, I have an infection, but since I'm already on penicillin to ward off bacterial infections, and there's nothing to be done for viral infections, they basically told me to go home. If the pain doesn't subside soon, I'm going to go absolutely crazy. I'm actually sick of being on pain medication. Never thought I'd say that.

As I was traipsing through the pictures on my camera, I found these that I took the night I invented ash tray liners. Daniel has these really cool ash trays. Anytime we smoke inside, Daniel has to dump them out into some aluminum foil (to avoid the old-cigaratte smell eminating from the trashcan) and wipe them out with Clorox wipes. We call it "the dump and the wipe." I was pretty sure I could find a way to eliminate the need with an aluminum foil disposable liner. It took me a while, and a bunch of prototypes, but I finally came up with an easily repeatable manufacturing process. It's patented, though. I just thought I'd show it to you because you might want to come up with your own patented process if you have ashtrays. It really does simplify life. Of course, you could always just make your ashtrays completely out of aluminum foil like I do. I'm getting pretty good at it.

KaboomTwon has been rescheduled for Labor Day weekend, September 3rd. (No, that wasn't a typo. I've decided to call our second KaboomTown party, KaboomTwon.) Daniel and I want to serve mojitos at this one. My fear isn't that they're hard or time consuming to make, it's that I can't come up with a good name for them. I assume we'll be having Grizzy Gooses and Kaboomcrown'n'cokes again, and "mojito" just doesn't stand up to that. So let's have a contest to come up with a Labor Day, firework, KaboomTwon inspired name for a Mojito. The winner might get an invitation to the partay.

And finally, let's close with our product placement of the day. Today we feature the simplehuman line of trash receptacles. These are, in my opinion, the finest trashcans money can buy. I've featured here, my 40 liter semi-round step-on can as well as Daniel's 30 liter pull-out model. He doesn't have a lot of floor space in his kitchen so it was the perfect model. They also make their own simplehuman trash bags that are custom fitted to our cans. They are the finest trash bags, way better than any Glad force flex or any shit like that. These are really thick and truly won't rip when you stuff them full. I love it. Is anybody listening to me?

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG

Friday, July 21, 2006

This pain is bordering on unbearable. I've already burned through my first prescription for painkillers and my attempts to ration the lone refill aren't going so well. I pretty much have to take one every 4 hours. I haven't been able to stay a full day at work yet because of the pain. My throat is so swollen that my tonsils are nearly touching. It's probably infected because it's so bright red. If you're thinking about having a uvulectomy, I suggest you plan ahead and take a week off of work. The only relief I get is after a pill kicks in and I sleep for a few hours. If I sleep much more than that, it's really painful when I wake up, so I'm going to try to spend the weekend doing nothing but healing and sleeping.

It hurts so much to eat, well, swallow. I am supposed to drink ice water in small sips to try and take the swelling down, but the cold hurts on top of swallowing. I eat a lot at each meal to try and space them out as much as possible. I have a huge, gaping open wound directly in the path of all food and liquids on their path to my stomach. Since I don't have an IV, I don't know much choice but to keep doing it, but I dread the thought.

My wishlist hasn't turned out exactly like I thought it would. It was intended to help me plan far in advance for the purchases I wanted to make. Instead, it's become a grocery list for the past few days. Whenever I'm hurting, I find that spending large sums of money always brings a smile to my face. Today I got a couple new pillows and all new pillowcases for every pillow I have. It's not enough to just put one pillowcase per pillow though, because then sometimes the case folds back and you can see the pillow. Unacceptable, so we put two on each pillow. Not exactly cheap when you're dealing with DaMask Stripe sheets, which also happens to be the product placement for today. These sheets are so comfy and stylish. Pick your favorite color and then pick yourself up a set. I have the chocolate brown to match my ceiling and wall stripes and then I got red for the pillows that I keep on the couch. Rawk!

Oh, Daniel and I will be in Washington D.C. August 8th through the 16th with an excursion up to NYC the 11th through the 14th. Yes, I'm returning to New York despite my vow to never do that. I have a feeling this trip will be exponentially better than the last. Anyway, if you reside in either of these cities, let's plan a get-together. Til then!

Exit: Tuna

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Last week, our dear friend, Tuna, passed away. His health had steadily declined for a couple weeks prior to that. I did everything I could -- a heater, some aquarium salt for freshwater fish, medicine -- but it wasn't enough. He was just old. I'll miss him. He was a good friend.

Daniel and Kelly got me a new fish for my birthday. I was kind of upset about it at first and didn't really want it. I didn't want to replace Tuna; didn't want some other fish I didn't even know swimming in his tank, eating his food, sleeping in his reeds. But tonight I had a change of heart. I've decided to adopt Salmie as a part of my family. I rearranged the tank so it looks nothing like Tuna's and put Salmie in there tonight. Daniel and Kelly named him Salmon but I don't really want to call him that, so I changed it to Salmie (pronounced "Sammy"). So far he seems okay; he looks happy anyway. He keeps attacking his reflection which is kind of funny. We'll see what happens, but I think I like him now.

I bought twelve chrome tipped bulbs. I thought that I wanted them for my overhead lighting to soften it up. I read on the internet that you should dim your overhead lighting until it isn't bright enough to light the room. Then you add lamps and spotlights and whatnot until you get it just right. Unfortunately, these bulbs just aren't quite right for me. They don't really work in the fan fixture that I have. I have one in my lamp that looks alright. Anyway, I bought twelve off the internet because I couldn't find them in any stores, so this is me asking all of you if you would like to try them out in your house. If you like them you can have them. Just lemme know.

It is well past time for me to start drinking. Justin came to town and I went to dinner with him in the Land of Gar. It was a pretty funny dinner but that story will have to wait. I've got 24 friends waiting on me in the fridge. Peace out, sluts.

Go shorty, it was mah birfday

Saturday, July 8, 2006

So Thursday was my birthday. I was pretty vigilant with my vow after last year's debacle to not make a big deal about it. Thanks to everyone who remembered and sent me a message or called. I worked on my birthday but took this Friday off because I was pretty sure I was gonna be drunk.

I decided that all I really wanted to do was sit on the TV and watch some beers. So when I got home from work, I tidied up a bit, cooked a frozen pizza and got down to drinking. Brett Sabulous had kept his plans tentative just in case I was doing something, and decided to come join me in my quest. So we sat on the TV together and watched a lot of beers. When Daniel got home, we moved the party down there and continued drinking. It was so much fun. So low key. So much more my speed.

Daniel got me a really nice Bulova wall clock for over my TV. That brings my clock total to 6 now. That's almost one clock per 100 square feet of my apartment. I am obsessed with knowing what time it is. This is the only nice clock I have though. It looks pretty smart over my new TV stand. I need to hang it just a smidge higher but I couldn't reach, so it's temporary now. Brett got me a gift certificate to Face, this men's salon in uptown. I'd never heard of it but their menu was quite impressive. I'm going to go get a real shave. I have ALWAYS wanted to do that. Hot towels, hot lathers, straight bladed razors. Omg, I can't wait. My parents got me a month of yoga. I really want to try out this place called Dahn Yoga over on Beltline. I don't know what brain respiration is but I'm soon going to find out.

So everything went just swimmingly this year. Unfortunately, speaking of swimmingly, Tuna is in bad shape. He's been really lethargic lately, so this morning I got online and researched his condition. He is showing every symptom of disease. I am going to get a heater for his tank since the temperature should be between 74 and 78 degress Fahrenheit, and if you've ever been to my refrigerated apartment, you know it's always colder than that. I'm about to quarantine him, clean his tank, and see if we can't revive him. But he's 2 years and 3 months old now, so I'm not sure how much longer he'll be with us. I'll keep you updated on his condition. Remember him in your prayers to Chuck Norris. Peace out, have-nots.

KABOOM!

Wednesday, July 5, 2006

Our Kaboomtown party was such a hit! You'll see why I say that shortly.

First off, Kaboomcrown'ncokes are so delicious. I was able to convince most of the guests to scream "KABOOM!" when they ladled an ice cream scoop full of cherries into their drinks. That bottle of Crown lasted all of like 30 minutes. We switched to Grizzy Gooses (I wondered if the plural was Grizzy Geese, but it's not) soon after. When the Grey Goose was gone, we switched to Grabsoluts. That makes no sense since the "Gr" came from "Grey" but oh well. Absolizzy sounds stupid. The champagne flowed and the beer went way faster than expected. Smart move on my part getting plastic bottles. You'll see why I say that shortly.

When it got dark we all went to the roof of the garage. It was solid people. Solid drunk people. It was pouring rain. All the drunk people were dancing and hootin' 'n hollerin' in the rain. Yours truly included. Someone had a watermelon full of liquor that they were dispensing shots from. When that ran out, they filled it up with whatever beer was available. Too much fun. Brett Sabulous and I screamed, "KABOOM!" at the fireworks repeatedly. Repeatedly. Since it was pouring rain, they only shot off about a third of the planned fireworks, I'm estimating. There was no grand finale like I'm sure they had planned. I felt bad for the people that had probably planned the whole thing, it was basically ruined, but still totally rad. I love fireworks because when I was little my parents used to tell me that they were for my birthday.

After much merry making on the roof, we went back downstairs. I was pretty drunk and happy so some of the details escape me, but things got ugly. You'll see why I say that now. Without using any names or daring to understand the provocation, several fights broke out. Not like fun friendly fights. Like mean trying-to-hurt-each-other fights. I think back to like when Todd and DAvid would fight and I'd sit back and laaaauuuugh. Because even though they were throwing real punches and causing real bruises, you just knew that deep down inside they weren't going to hurt each other. It's like watching brothers fight. Not so that night. They were out for blood. And your local good Samaritan, Sidesho, was trying to stop it. Several mislanded punches later, several concrete tackles later, several wrestling matches and alpha male chest thrusts later, it was finally disolved, but not before our party was basically ruined. I was left with a few minor scraps and scabs, bruises all over both arms from someone fighting to escape my grip, a severely fucked up shoulder, two knees that don't take much to fuck up -- but falling on them on concrete did the trick -- a new trick ankle, and a sore nose. Good times, good times.

I was pretty upset at the time. By "upset" I mean "really drunk and upset" which always makes things worse. I took quite a bit of consoling, not because I was hurt, but because I had to watch people I cared about trying to draw blood from each other. I'm a delicate boy, I can't handle that shit. But now that's it been a couple of days, looking back it was rather exhilarating. I've never even been near a fight, and frankly have always been terrified of the proposition, but now I don't think it would be that bad. I mean, no one was fighting me, I was just in the way, but still, it doesn't hurt THAT bad to get hit. So watch the fuck out, everyone, this is your warning. I'm looking for a reason now. I WISH some mother fucker be sittin in my seat.

So that was my Kaboomtown. The 4th was much more serene consisting of dinner at Daniel's parents' house and a drive home where we could see at least 3 fireworks shows going on at all times. This is so my favorite holiday. It's really cool too because it celebrates our country's independence; it's not just some Hallmark-invented holiday like Valentine's Day or easter. So hope everyone else had a wonderful (and tad safer) holiday. Czech you skillets on the flip side.

Product placement

Thursday, June 29, 2006

I feel the need to share with you all a couple of products that I can't live without. I really wish I was better about letting you know of all of my purchases, but it always slips my mind. So hopefully, this won't be the last installment of free advertising here on SideshoViD.com.

The first one I think everyone should own is Plink. Plink your sink! These are little yellow balls that could easily be mistaken for lemon sours. When I grind up the fatty remains of eight chicken breasts and leave the remnants in the blades of my garbage disposal for a week, I'm just asking for an unmistakable stench. I used to rely on handfuls of ice cubes and lemon halves for salvation, but now I have something even better. One of these little Plinks not only completely removes the odor, but replaces it with the most refreshing lemon scent. I only wish they made them in orange flavor to match my orange Fantastik, orange Febreze Air Deodorizer, and orange Pledge. It's citrus, though, so it works. Buy some.

Next, we have Bear Naked. I was first introduced to the Bear Naked product line by watching their story on the Food Network. It was truly inspiring. I went to Whole Foods (the only place I know of where you can buy the stuff) and tried it. Incredible. The cereal is unbeatable as a breakfast, or any meal of the day for that matter, but it's also good just dry out of the bag for a quick snack. I recently tried their all natural oatmeal and I can no longer eat that Quaker shit. Bear Naked is just so much better. It's not mushy. It's grainy and nutty and so fucking good. I must impel you all to try it.

That's all the product placement I have for today. The only other thing I have to advertise is our July 3rd Kaboomtown Party here in the ol' Addison! Circle. Daniel and I are hosting a little get together, which will probably be much like every other night of our lives, except with fireworks! We have two drinks planned. Grizzy Goose is first on the menu -- a mixture of Izzy Natural Soda (ah, fuck, I just realized I could totally advertise that... try it too) and Grey Goose vodka. I know, I know, I only drink Effen, but it's too hard to come up with a good name on that. Second are our Kaboomcrown'ncokes. It's just like a Crown and Coke except we're gonna put real cherries in them. Kaboom! Oh yeah, also, every time you make one you have to scream, "KABOOM!" when you drop the cherries in. Loves it.

Let me know if you want to come join us and I just might let you. Later, have-nots!

Bedrum. Bedrum.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I finally finished painting my bedroom. I have never been so proud of myself for anything in my life. I think it looks so good, almost like an adult, put together bedroom. My bed floats in the middle of the room now. I still need a new end table, new lamps, new bed frame, new table, and new curtains, but the biggest portion of the work is done. It was really hard for me to get one good picture that showed it off, so I took a few. The fourth one is to show you that I did, indeed, repaint my router to match.

I also cut all my hair off and I'm growing a beard. This is a life makeover. Now if I could just stop chain smoking and skipping the gym. I was doing so well for a while there. I'll get back on it soon. I fell off of my diet somewhat due to my trip to Houston for Memorial Day weekend. It was totally worth it though. I went to visit my brother and help out with his impregnito wife and baby daughter. Kaylyn is the cutest thing, and now that she can talk, she is funny too. It was really nice to get to know her, and have her know who I am. About every 5 minutes she would ask, "Where's Uncle David?" if I wasn't in her immediate view. She'll be 2 in July. I can't believe she's getting so big so fast.

I also got to see Kevin. We drank a lot and played darts. I ended up losing after coming from way behind to take the lead. That g*d damn bullseye. I could not hit it. The rest of the nights I hung out with my brother. We saw X3. I thoroughly enjoyed it, although it wasn't the best X-Men movie, I didn't think. Still worth seeing though. One night we went to this place called Whiskey River. It was a totally open up barn type building with this wasted, barefoot guy playing guitar on stage. When we walked in he was berrating some paying customers that had asked him to please stop yelling and cussing into the microphone. It sent him into a tirade about being in the service industry. This guy was so bad, I can hardly explain it. His guitar was so out of tune that my brother noticed it. That's pretty bad.

There are a few distinct stereotypical guitar players. There's the "plays Dave at college parties" guitar player. There's the "pseudo lesbian Ani-wanna-be" guitar player. There's the "stuck-in-the-80s all I wanna do is wail ARE YOU READY TO ROOOOCK YOW!" guitar player. There's the "classically trained and snooty as hell because of it" guitar player. I like to consider myself a "only knows 3 songs and plays them repeatedly" guitar player. If you can think of any more, please feel free to share. Anyway, after one second of looking at the entertainment for the night, I remarked to my brother, "This guy LOVES Pearl Jam, I guarantee it." So we started yelling for him to play some Pearl Jam. The only song we could think of was Jeremy. He told us that he would play Jeremy because it was a great song, but never fucking did. He did, however, play some Pearl Jam, and as you would expect, he did it in his best Eddie Vetter impression voice. So fucking lame. When we left, my brother held down the horn from the time we got in the car until we left the parking lot to interrupt his show. Too damn funny.

I think that's all the news to report. Leave me some comments on how I have the best fucking bedroom in the world. Thaaaaaaaanks.

Twice bitten thrice shy

Monday, May 8, 2006

I am single again. Most you probably didn't even know I wasn't. I don't normally speak of personal things on my website, but I just want to say it once and then I don't want to talk about it anymore. After changing status four times in as many months, I am now single for good. Okay. Don't comment about it.

My uvula is up to its old tricks again. Instead of dangling in the breeze of my exhalations like a tiny stalagtite in my throat, it has decided to double or triple its length. It is now a slithering snake down the back of my throat when I swallow, encroaching upon my tongue when I do not. You know how when you try to take a pill without water and sometimes it gets stuck in the back of your throat before it goes down, and you have to run to the sink to get a drink before it drives you mad. Yeah, RIGHT there is where it's sitting. Have no fear, I'm gonna chop the fucker out. I don't like it. I don't want it. And I don't need it. So long uvula!

My dinner of dry boneless skinless chicken breasts and an ear of corn was fucking delicious. I just bought enough healthy groceries to last me longer than they'll last. Gotta love it. I'm actually not being facetious when I say that I totally enjoy chicken breasts and a handful of spinach for dinner. Not only do I think it's delicious, but it's doing wonders for how I feel and look. If I keep up this personal trainer set workout routine for like two months, you're not even going to recognize me. Except from the shirtless pics that I'll be posting on myspace. Wish me luck on that and I might let you lick me.

If I don't get my TV plugged in like now, I'm going to ... something something.

I got dibs

Sunday, May 7, 2006

Our dear friend Kelly has canceled her Addison! Circle lease. In the wake of it, she told me I could have whatever I wanted out of her apartment to save her the trouble of moving out. So the other night a bunch of us let ourselves in and went on a treasure hunt.

It occured to me in there what a peculiar word "dibs" is. You know how if you take any word and say it outloud enough times it starts sounding stupid? Another good example is merge. Merge... merge... merge? Sounds wrong, don't it? After a good 30 minutes of walking around yelling, "DIBS! DIBS ON THE COUCH! DIBS ON THE MIRROR!" I couldn't let it go. I came home and googled the origins of dibs. The long of the short of it is, no one knows where it came from. People speculate it may have something to do with the ancient game of dibstone originally played with the knucklebones of sheep, but the evolution from that to laying an unbreakable claim on someone's trash can is beyond me. It's just one of those unsolved mysteries. Duh nuh nuh nuhnuh duh nuhnuh nuhnuh.

I am the proud owner of a new couch, a new tv stand, a couple new lamps, a new standing mirror, and some new DVDs. My apartment is a tad overcrowded at the moment, reminiscent of the summer I spent in my duplex on Medina. Medina RULES! Thank you to my most sabulous friend, Brett, who helped me move all the shit across the street. It was quite an ordeal. Well, not really, I'm just being dramatic. We will all miss having sober Kelly as our neighbor, but she'll live on in all the free shit I ganked from her with the spare key.

Dibs on the martini shaker!

A pillar of society

Saturday, March 25, 2006

I arrived in Austin five days ago. I have yet to sleep. Traveling is hard for me because any deviation from my regular sleep habits hurts. My room back home is completely dedicated to sleep with climate control, dark walls and ceiling, fuckin rawkin mattress, expensive sheets, swedish pillows. Hotel rooms just can't offer you all of that. They don't make me sleep or anything, but every little bit helps. When you sleep for 8 minutes a night, inching that up to 10 minutes can really make a huge difference.

This has made me more serious about having surgery. There is a new procedure called the Pillar Procedure. When you have apnea, the soft pallate at the back of your throat relaxes and collapses, cutting off your supply of air. Your brain realizes this and "wakes" you up momentarily to take a breath. The Pillar Procedure involves inserting 3 foam pillars into that soft pallate to make it more rigid and hopefully stop this from happening. It's about a 15 minute procedure and they say you can do it on your lunch break and return to work. If you're not squeamish, you can go to http://restoremedical.com/video.asp and actually watch them fucking do it. It scared the bejesus out of me.

Ryan S■■■ wrote an article about the Pillar Procedure in the Dallas Voice. It featured me and a prominent doctor in the field. Even though Ryan fabricated some stories about me sleep walking to the kitchen and getting a knife, acting out a dream that I wanted cake ??????? which is embarrassing because sleep walking has nothing to do with acting out dreams. But regardless, I emailed that doctor asking him if he would meet with me for free. I know that doctors don't typically do pro bono work, but he mentioned to Ryan that he would like to meet me and I'd basically promise to have surgery if he would do that, so I figured it was worth a shot. What sucks is that it costs $2,000 to get stabbed in the throat. And I'm all but certain that my new insurance company doesn't take sleep medicine seriously.

I have got to try something. I'm sick of people perceiving me as lazy and irresponsible. It's like, fuck, doesn't anyone ever show up to work tired for respectable reasons? Everyone always assumes I am hungover. It sucks. I am seriously only hungover like 1 out of every 3 times I'm accused. If this pillar shit doesn't work, I'm gonna get a g*d damned tracheotomy and bypass this whole problem once and for all.

Sorry if this entry was a bit scattered, there's a Simple Life marathon on the tele and I am thoroughly amused. It's hot.

Woah, woah, woah woah WOAH

Friday, March 24, 2006

The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission (TABC) has recently begun raiding bars at night and arresting patrons inside the bars that they determine, by way of the sole discretion of the officer given the horrific task of arresting merry makers inside bars, are intoxicated in public. I'm sure you've all heard of this at least. I just wanted to bring it up because most of you know more about politics and law than I know about electronic circuits and Food Network combined.

I originally argued that you can't possibly be publicly intoxicated inside a bar, because that's privately owned. Not so. It's still public property. Okay, fine. I'll give them that. But don't you dare ask me to agree with the College Station Police Department when they informed us that sitting on your porch with a beer at night under the overhang of the square footage that you pay for is considered public consumption. Bastards. But seriously, to say that you cannot be drunk inside a bar is like saying you can't read in a library or turn tricks in a motel.

They'll argue that they're doing the community a service because they are arresting people that are intoxicated -- not people that are belligerent, or causing a scene, mind you, just those that are intoxicated. TABC defines intoxication as anything over the legal limit of 0.08. We all know that the legal limit is bullshit in a way. You can reach the legal limit if the guy 3 tables down from you is drinking a beer and burps. It's insanely low, the equivalent of about one beer if you drink it like a man. I don't know how many nights, while living with Ryan and Todd, that we blew 0.2s (and probably above since the thing went no higher). And while we were clearly intoxicated, none of us were a danger to ourselves or each other.

The legal limit should only apply to driving. In that case, while still low, I think it's okay. Really you shouldn't be driving after drinking at all. EVEN IF you drive better when you're drunk and only have one eye open and your head cocked back and your foot gunning the accelerator. But, I didn't get to the best part yet. TABC defines intoxication as anything over the legal limit of 0.08, or one who is exhibiting signs of intoxication -- impaired judgement, or loss of motor skills. So even if you don't drink, you just limp, you can get arrested. You could get arrested in a bar if you are the designated driver, provided you trip on your way the bathroom to pee out the 29 Coca-Colas you've had to occupy your hands while your friends get sauced.

I'm all for public safety and welfare and blah blah blah, but I cannot fathom how this can be legal. We tried allowing the government to listen to hysteric, dried up old hags the last time we did Prohibition. See how awesomely that turned out? You fucking bitches spawned rum running (the predecessor the NASCAR, thanks a lot). Not to mention organized crime. And cocktails, a result of the need to mix bathtub liquors with fruit juices to make them tolerable. Well, bad example there. Thank you for that one. But back to my point.

How does something like this become legal? I don't understand. Much like how tow truck owners are allowed to steal your car and hold it for ransom. Or how one county is "dry" but literally 9 feet to the left, you can buy liquor. Or why there's this sudden trend to ban smoking everywhere despite the fact that capitalism should be driving that decision, not facism. Is this a result of some kind of voting? Do I need to start participating in local government elections? Do candidates publicly state their views on villanizing people who don't spend the night reading scripture and avoiding sex?

Help me JonS■■■ or someone whose legal opinion I value as highly. You're my only hope.

My thoughts on Austin

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Because you're all dying to know how I feel about the capital of the great Republic of Texas. At first I really liked it. I mean, it's not like I've never been here before, but this is my first experience with pseudo-living here. The first thing I noticed were the bumper stickers. Lots of 'W's with slashes through them, and you allllllll know Sidesho doesn't do 'W'. Then I went to Whole Foods and it was just full of granola. People, I mean. Granola people. Awesome.

I've even considered moving here... but that wouldn't be a decision to make lightly.

After a few days though, I'm starting to lose some of my love for the city. The traffic! Good lord, people, GET JOBS! I swear, everyone's out parking on the highways all day long. And it's bad enough that it takes forever to get anywhere, but I get lost every fucking time I go outside. Hey, Austin, pick a name for a road and stick with it. When I left my hotel on Loop 360 N/Capital of TX Highway tonight to go down Loop 1/FM 1325/Mopac Blvd to pick up Brandon, I missed the exit I was supposed to take because I thought it was 1st St., but it was also 5th St. which you can call Townelake Blvd, but the sign will say Cezar Chavez, so good fuckin' luck. I also went the wrong way on the way home from 183/Research ... g*d damnit. I mean I know roads in Dallas sometimes have a number and a name 75/Central, but it is NOT this ridonkulous.

Work has been pretty laid back -- exactly the break I needed. I have some serious decisions to make soon about how I'm going to achieve nirvana because I'm most definitely not on the correct path, but we'll see if I actually grow the balls to do it or not. Til then, Laaaaaaaaaaaaate.

ATTN: Austin

Sunday, March 19, 2006

I wanted to make sure I informed everybody that I will be in Austin from March 20th to the 28th. I'm supposed to drive down tomorrow morning, but my plan was to drive down tonight instead. I could stay at Lesbie's tonight and then go to work really late in the morning (under the guise that I'd just driven into town). The weather is really suckin' ass, though, so I might actually wait until the morning.

I always make a little extra cash when I travel -- especially when I drive -- so I decided to go on a little shopping spree. I got some new jeans, a new shirt, and a new pair of these sweet pink and brown plaid pants. I just wish I had purchased a shirt I could wear with them as well. I'm not sure when I'll get to debut them, but I might take them to Austin with me since I'm sure I'll be hitting up the Barton Creek mall a few times. I'm also going to take my sewing machine with me and work on my shirt because I imagine I'll have some free time. Maybe I should make myself a shirt to match my pants. I just really want a hat like Santino. If anyone knows where I can get one, please let me know or buy it for me.

I also feel like I should apologize for never updating anymore. It's not that I don't love you, and I assure you, my webpage is not going the way of the burns.tks of the world. I've just had someone better to do lately, and it's hard to pull away to update the ol' webpage. I should be updating more over the next 10 days to keep you informed of the hilarity of my Austin Adventure. Until then, take care of yourselves ... and each other. Huzzah!

Look who’s back… back again…

Thursday, March 9, 2006

It's great to be back. I gotta tell you. Boy, I missed beer. And liquor. Liquor? I hardly even know her. My glorious return to drinking was shared with a couple of birthdays. First, to the Allistralian. She flew halfway around the world and I had to fuckin miss her bbq. I was stuck in Funkytown until like 7:30pm for work, and then by the time I arrived back at the office, I already had some friends from out of town waiting for me. So my apologies, but I do hope you had the best birthday ever.

Next, was Miss Lesbie Ann. She drove up from Austin to celebrate turning into 27. Oh wait, I mean, turning 27, my mistake. She had been to Dallas plenty of times, but she had never been to Addison! I assumed I would have to show her all that Addison! had to offer, but instead, she showed me ....

Friday night we sat around drinkin beers like I do most weekends. I wanted her to meet everyone and see how we do. Saturday morning we woke up and went to Cafe Gecko for Bloody Marys and breakfast (since when are those different things). From there, we went and bought tickets for Dave Chappelle's Block Party. Really, we just wanted to drink more and figured a movie without a solid plot might allow for breaks to the bathroom. A few margaritas and martinis later we retired for a respite in my apartment until it was time for our appointments at the spa. Unfortunately, they couldn't find anyone to massage me on such short notice, but Lester did have a diamond scrub facial with allllll the trimmings. I met her at Zen Bar to celebrate and we threw back a few brewskis, brah. Then we met up with Daniel to go to Shuck and Jive where we ate more oysters than you would normally assume three people would eat and drank a lot more brews, dude. Our plans to get fancied up and go south of 635 were interrupted by our inability to drive. So we wrapped up the evening drinking at Daniel's until we both passed out. What a fabulous weekend. Thank you so much to my host, Leslie!

Last bit of business. Who watched Project Runway? Who else is incensed at the finale? Chloe?!?! Give me a fucking break. Her collection was a bunch of shiny GEM monstrocities. I thought they were going to tear her a new one. I was a Dan Fan through the whole season but had just recently switched to voting for Santino. I wasn't blown away by any one collection, but I thought that Santino would win. Daniel's was too plain Jane store shelf looking. I don't wanna look at anything too conceptual but I also don't want to look at something I probably could have thought of. Blech, what a disappointment. I can't wait until Jay McCarroll's line comes out. I'm gonna wear the shit out of it.

This weekend. Out of town. Niece's 1st birthday in OKC. Can't wait. See you all when I get back.

Febrehabruarii Day 2fucking8

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Join me, won't you, on the home stretch of the second annual self-imposed sabatical from all things sinful. Any by sinful, I mean enjoyable. There are so many stages of Febrehab that you go through during the 28 days of detoxification. First there's the optimism, then the irritability, the pain, the eye gouging, the night sweats ... and eventually, the hump, followed by the denouement. I am now on the last stage -- and RIGHT on time. Remorse. After all I've gone through, why, oh why, would I subject myself to it again. I could just continue this forever and be nonetheworse because of it.

But, FUCK THAT. I think on Wednesday, after work, I will wait until that guy pulls on the tail of that bird perched on the rock outside and makes it whistle. I'll slide down the tail of the Brontosaurus and into my car. At that point, I will flick a Bic and enjoy a Prince flown fresh from Sweden. (BTW, did you catch my Jetsons reference?)

Wednesday and Thursday will be punctuated with the grand, world-wide tradition Berliners refer to as "Feierabend." Ja, meine Freunde, I am talkin about the Happy Hour! Oh, I can't wait. I need to get the chops up, though, to prepare for our victory celebration that I've dubbed "Febrehabruarii -- 28 Days, Not To Be Confused With Its Sequel, 28 Days Later." F28DNTBCWIS28DL? Doubtful. Probable? Keg. Come. BYO, though, the kegs for me. Daniel can have some. And Brett Sabulous could have had some if were going to be in town. Party starts at 8 in Addison Circle. Bring a friend.

I didn't really save any money this year. Instead, I spent every dime that I normally spend on alcohol and cigarettes dining on only the most expensive of cuisines. You haven't lived until you've had 3 foot long crab legs, or 6 lobsters wood grilled on the table in front of you, or rows of raw oysters on a halfshell abed a mound of Sonic ice. I gave up red meat in addition to the other carnal pleasures, so rare steak was off the menu. I didn't really lose any weight either, but damned if it wasn't worth it.

This was the best fucking Febrehabruarii of my life. I'll miss it when it's gone and look forward to next year (preview: Febrehabruariii). Thanks to all of you for your continued attempts to entice me to fail at my goal, and thanks to me for ensuring none of you succeed. Onward, and upward. To the bars!

Febrehabruarii Day 19

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Have you seen this Colgate commercial? They're implying that if your gums bleed a little bit when you brush that it could be a sign of gingivitis and that brushing with Colgate will fix that. But what gets me every time is the chick who says "When I saw a little pink in the sink...." You cannot tell me I'm the only one who hears "two in the pink, one in the stink" and looks up expecting to see the shocker.

I have a new goal. Well, actually, it's an old goal, but I'm going to go for it now. I want to own everything as seen on TV. I'm talking everything. I'm going to begin with the Faraday Flashlight. It's a flashlight that charges itself based on the electromagnetic principles discovered by English chemist and physicist Michael Faraday. I'm really impressed they named it after him too. I also like that you have to shake it in a masturbatorial motion in order to get it to work.

How was Vegas? Oh, I'm glad you asked. I won about 700 bucks. Yay! Unfortunately, I lost about 850. It was pretty fun though. I hit a couple of big pots on the slots. I was just in such a mood for slots. You know how it is, when you get all slotty, put on your slottiest outfit. I got to see the Allistralian! She is back in the contiguous United States. We were in Vegas together for her last night and my first night. Good times. I need to call her now that she's in Dallas. The rest of my trip was resignation fodder, but the odds of that blossoming beyond an idle threat are small. I used to have ambition. Sigh.

I don't have to work tomorrow. Rawk! Oh, I almost forgot it was still Febrehabruarii and I have to comment on it. I didn't crack whilst in Sin City. It was a huuuuuge challenge, but no problemo for yours truly. I've been having a lot of sober fun with my fellow rehabruaers, Daniel and Brett Sabulous. Oh, and in closing, let me just save you all 8 bucks -- do NOT go see Date Movie. Laaaaaaaaaate.

Febrehabruarii Day 10

Friday, February 10, 2006

In a twist of irony, I will be in Sin City next week Tuesday through Friday. I will be working in a hotel right near The Strip. It just sucks that this had to happen during Febrehabruarii. I have decided that there is a Vegas caveat in the rule book. If at any time during February I am sent to Vegas for a week for free, I will allow myself 300 dollars to try and win enough money to quit my job. Still, though, no smoking and no drinking. The office in Vegas had offered to take me out and show me a good time and have me stay through the weekend on their dime. I had to decline the majority of that. I'll be home on Friday. Plus, Allison will be here. To add to suckiness, she'll have left Vegas the day before I arrive. Oh fate, why must you mock me!

In other news, everything else has been going well. I think a lot of weak people are mad at me, but there's very little I can do about that. So we trudge on. I'm really starting to look forward to March 1st, even though I think I won't break the rehabruarii until March 3rd because I'm running some training courses the 1st and 2nd and don't really need to be hungover for that. Start brainstorming what we're going to do that weekend to celebrate. I want it to be something fun. Laaaaaaaate.

La Dolce Vita — the suite life? Erherherher

Sunday, January 22, 2006

I'm not going to stand here in front of all of you and claim that my life is any more amusing, entertaining, or spectacular than yours. When I get up in the morning, I put my pants on one leg at a time. HOWEVER, you would not guess it from the life I've led recently.

Our story begins last Friday. I was sitting at work when I received a phone call from Daniel. He had gone to Galveston for the weekend and was upgraded to the Palladian Suite at the Treemont. He said I should come check it out. I shut down my PC, walked out the door, and drove straight to Love Field. I bought a plane ticket to Hobby and got on the plane. We had so much fun tearin up the mean streets of Galveston. Oh, Galveston, you poor, poor shitty little town. We walked all around trying out every bar in town, meeting all of the club owners and DJs, and making friends on the streets. We ended up going to an after party at a really nice loft one night and a really fun beach house the second night. There are too many funny stories from that weekend, you'll just have to hear them in person, as most of you have.

Then last night, I was invited by Brett Sabulous to accompany him to his company party. He works for a major hotel. I don't want to get him in any trouble with his company through my webpage, since his father googled him and read about our first night on the stoop. Anyway, I don't really have anything incriminating to say about our sandy and gritty friend this time. We just had too much fun. There was a casino at the hotel with fake money, and then you could purchase raffle tickets. I had $4,000 to start with and managed to piss away half of it when I decided to bet the rest on one hand and get back to even. This is why we do not take Sidesho to Vegas. I ended up betting everything I had left on the next hand and winning, and then continued to scream "LET IT RIDE" for the next few hands. A few wins and a blackjack later, I found myself with 16,000 dollars. We didn't win any raffles, but still had a blast. A few drinks and a few bars later, we were back in our palacial suite at the hotel in Addison!. Way, way too much fun. We got on the internet through the TV and were completely stupid. (After some taquitos, naturally).

I started this blog like 24 hours ago and just now got around to finishing it. There are a few more stories I need to tell but I'll save them for the next blog. Laaaaaaaaaaate.

I couldn’t even begin to title this random mess.

Sorry!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Sorry you guyses, I haven't updated in a while. Broken internet, traveling, and binge drinking have gotten in the way. Rest assured though, a new entry is coming. Hopefully tonight I'll replace this entry with one about my trip to Galveston.

Peace.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

I just got my Addison! newsletter in the mail. I really have not been utilizing all that this city! has to offer. Honestly, I just keep eating at the same restaurants! over and over again when there are literally hundreds I have not tried. There's the Water Tower Theater! a stones throw from my apartment and I have yet to see a show. Speaking of theater! they are playing The Santaland Diaries! by David Sedaris! December 7th through the 23rd. Tickets! are $17-30, anybody want to go?

I also hear a lot about this Addison! Gym. Apparently, if you can prove that you live in Addison! (which shouldn't be hard to do since ... I do), there is a one time fee of $10 for a lifetime membership. I was confused as to how this could possibly be profitable for them. But I found out that I already pay for the gym. It's like part of my taxes. I suppose since we don't have schools or anything lame like that, we can afford to allot money to the Recreation Department. So I need to go check that out and see if it's as nice as Lifetime. I pay for my gym, but my company reimburses me the majority of it as part of the employee wellness program, so I guess I could always have two gym memberships. It's just a matter of getting off my lazy ass and signing up.

AllieD's friend Jennifer IMed me today and informed me that Target has outlawed Xmas. In addition, they have started selling bargain-brand vibrators at all of their stores. This is unsubstantiated information from an unknown source, but I'm definitely going to have to research this. Anyone with any information, please let me know.

I've decided in 2006 to repeat my February experiment. I'm sure you'll all recall it from this year. In 2006, though, it will (of course) be called Febrehabruarii. Like you didn't see that coming. I'm thinking that this year will be even more intense than last year. No booze, no cigarettes, no caffeine, no staying up late, no skipping even one workout, no ground beef or fatty food, no spending money frivolously. Come March, I am going to be really, really, ridiculously good looking (and out of debt). Mark my words. Anyone want to take up the Febrehabruarii experiment with me?

I might be getting a new washer and dryer today. I'm buying Miles' old ones from him because mine squeak and it is annoying. Lil Jarrod randomly called me today and we went to lunch with Daniel at J's, yum, and he said he wanted a washer and dryer, so I'm giving mine to him. Does anyone have a truck that we could use? You'd have to drive from Addison! to Den-ton¿ but I'm sure we could find some way to make it worth your while. I don't know how fun it will be to have an extra bed and an extra W/D set all chillin in my living room. I mean I know I'm white trash, but srsly.

I'm going to OKC for Thanksgiving to eat my 140 dollar Heritage turkey with my parents, sister & fam, so I'll be out Wednesday through Saturday. I got another coupon from my company for a free Butterball turkey, though, so I think I'm gonna throw my own Thanksgiving party later. Probably mid-December when Owen is in town. Miles offered to let me throw it over at the Hamptons (his new house -- in the Hamptons of Addison!). So that should be fun. I'll be sure to keep you all posted on that.

This next week is going to suck, especially with this attitude, but it will be a short one so I'm sure I can survive. It's gonna be a big push to remain employed through the end of the year but I'm sure I can do it. And, I think that's all I had to say. Funny, when I sat down, I thought I had nothing to talk about. Carpe diem, friends! HA! HA!

Long overdue stories

Saturday, November 19, 2005

I've had a couple of stories up my sleeve for about a week now. Usually if I'm too lazy (hungover) to blog right away, the story never gets told. Who knows what awesome parties went unblogged and have since been forgotten. Well, not this one. Not Miss Lesbie Ann's Housewarming Party!

It was so grood to have the old gang all back together. It was Leslie, Rick, Josh, Bob, Raul, Tyresa, Aaron. So not the entire gang, but certainly some key players. We had planned on two days of merriment, getting drunk and retelling old stories. It made me miss the days of Halo when you just knew each weekend was going to be more interesting than the last. But back to my story, Leslie's house is just beautiful. I'm a tad jealous, but we Addison folk don't long for equity. Josh got her a delicious candle. Aaron got her a golden blanket. But Bob ... oh, Bob ... Bob got her cocknballs.

As soon as Leslie unwrapped the rather sizeable frame, Josh said, "That's BOB!" And indeed it was. This bit of expressionism is titled "Señor Humps." If you'll look closely, you'll see that Bob has painted his anterior and posterior with different colors of paint and then sacrificed his body for his art. There's really a lot of emotion in it. Emotion and pubic hair.

Thanks for the killer party, Lester!

Story #2. The other day, my most sabulous friend Brett texted me and invited me out to dinner. We decided to take up Smith and Wollensky (one of my all time fav steakhouses) on their "eat your age" offer. Every day after 8:30pm, you can go in and get an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert and pay a dollar for every year you've managed to survive (minimum $25, maximum $65). I'm not sure why they do this, possibly because we were just about the only people in there that late, but surely they're taking a loss on it. But who cares, everything that I ordered totalled $60-70 easily, and I paid $25. It's an amazing deal, everyone go check it out.

There are very few exceptions to the offer. There's some seafood boquet appetizer for 100 bucks that's off limits. And the live Maine lobster and like a 30lb. lobster tail. Pretty much anything over 100 bucks you can't get but anything else you want. So when I was asked if I'd like the 8oz. filet mignon or the 14oz. I replied, "Derrrrrrrrr." Not to be outdone, Mr. Sabulous ordered himself the 28oz. prime rib. And of course, we're connoisseurs, so we got it all rare. So there are 42 fucking ounces of raw meat on our table, as well as some potatoes (as shown), creamed spinach, and a wonderful bottle of wine. It was a fight to fit it all in, but we certainly ate until we could eat no more. g*d, I love gluttony. We had to save room for dessert, too. So we had all that plus crab meat and fried calamari appetizers, six shooter sorbets and the trio of creme brulees, and we got out of there spending next to nothing. What a wonderful way to spend an evening, thanks Brett!

I'm fresh out of stories now, until next time, same Sidesho-channel. Peace.

Beware of those in need

Sunday, November 6, 2005

This was another fabulous weekend spent on the stoop. We all just kind of hung out, watched movies, and drank a whole bunch. Last night, around 4am, we had the bright idea to go to J's Hamburgers and Breakfast for a post-evening meal. Usually when I say something was a "bright idea" I mean it sarcastically, but in this sense, it truly was a delight. I had some sausage patties and a few too many cups of coffee. Daniel, Miles and I rode back (the 3 blocks) to our little stretch of Addison circle and were prepared to drink a little more and then turn in when we heard the most pathetic little, "Excuse me. Excuse me."

We turned to find this woman -- drunk and crying -- wandering the streets of Addison with no shoes on. She explained to us in between sobs how her friend and her had gotten into a fight over a man, and she was now locked out with no phone, no keys, and no shoes. We offered to let her in the building and walk her up to her friend's apartment (for moral support). When we got to the fourth floor, she wandered around aimlessly, sobbing some more, claiming she couldn't remember which apartment belonged to her friend. She sat there helplessly, and then in a fit of rage the likes of which I haven't seen since I shared a bedroom with my brother, she randomly decided that the door nearest to her was the one she was looking for and began beating it down screaming, "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR YOU BITCH!" I didn't have the time to take a picture of her, so I illustrated it all for you:

Since we're such rock steady moral support for all vagrants and vagabonds north of 635, the second she hit that random stranger's door with all her might, we exited stage right. We took the elevator down to my floor and then sprinted back to my apartment. We slammed the door, laughed for a minute, and then watched the Magic Bullet infomercial. I hope that chick is okay and didn't have to sleep in the hallway. Actually, wait, no, I don't care.

What I did have my camera for was the sign that Miles, Lindy and I were looking at outside of Daniel's building while we waited for everyone to join us. Here's a quick snapshot of it. We were trying to decipher it's meaning. Lindy decided that it was a message to all handicapped people to "just get up." Just get up. I thought that was so funny ... after many, many longnecks. I just had to share it with you all.

I had too much fun once again within the confines of Addison Circle. I find less and less reason to go downtown these days. I hope my friends south of 635 know that they are always welcome to the stoop. Just FYI. Okay, that's all I have for today. Now let's all get out there, hustle and have a grood week. *slap on the butt*

On a high note

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Things just couldn't be peachier than they are right now. I know I promise Raul that I wouldn't talk about sleep anymore, but it's really integral to the story I'm about to tell, so he can continue fucking himself. They think that curing my apnea has given rise to a bigger, more serious problem. Like when my brain is allowed to do whatever it wants in REM, it makes poor decisions about how to spend that time. I'm not sure if or how they fix that (nor do they know exactly what it is yet, we're working together to figure that out) but it does make for good conversation. "Hi, my brain doesn't work."

Last night we had far too many people on the stoop. It really was just a matter of time before the police showed up and told us to go inside, which they did. They acted pretty much the same way we did -- not surprised at all to see us. They rolled down their windows without getting out and were like "Hey guys" and we nodded emphatically and got up and went inside. That's when the Texas Hold'em tournament began. It was 10 dollars to play, which I was kind of upset with since I ALWAYS lose, but whathefuck, I played. I ended up doing very well for myself and winning the pot. Cha-ching! I owe everyone breakfast today, so there go my winnings.

I was reading Miles' website the other day and I was kind of jealous of the sentiments he was expressing. He talked about how lately he's been focusing and rekindling old friendships and fueling new ones. And I pretty much feel the same. My stoop community is really fun and funny and the more the Addison Circle grows, the happier I am. It's definitely rounded out like fer shur.

So the reason my sleep is integral to the story, g*d damn I got off track and here I am doing it again, damned hangover, is because I bought a bed! I was driving home from work, made an evasive maneuver and bought a fucking bed. It's a Simmon's Beautyrest king sized and it will be here at 5 today. It's been soooo long since I've made a several thousand dollar impulse buy. I forgot how alive it makes you feel! Just as soon as it gets here and I get sheets and everything, I'll invite you all to come spend a night in it. Uh oh, I think it's orgie:30!

The reason I'm up now is because they're running a water compressor outside my window, not to be confused with the fucking jack hammer they had going last weekend. Don't worry though, I have definitely called and complained twice now. But I'm real cool about it so hopefully I'll get something free. I think I'm gonna call Miles and Daniel now and see if they're ready for their free breakfast cause once I'm up I'm up (until I nap).

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate.

In case any of you were jealous …

Sunday, September 4, 2005

This has turned into the weekend from hell. They pulled what they glibly described as "the ol' bait and switch." My "3 day all expenses paid weekend in New York City" has turned into "working 18 hours a day in Queens while commuting from South Jersey all over Labor Day weekend." I'd have to say I rarely if ever get this pissed. It has just been a disaster. My boss and boss's boss and boss's boss's boss aren't happy about how things went down either, so without divulging anything that would get me dooced, they've promised to make it up to me. And I know they will. And while I'm here I'm working hard. I've just never been so slighted before.

It's all thankless too, that's the best part. So just in case any of you were jealous, which I know some of you were, because quite honestly, I'm awesome, this is one of those times when you can lean your lawn chair way back as you bask in the simplicity of your own living room. I'm having no fun at all.

So I won't even get to see New York City, besides what I see from the highways as I traverse my way from Jersey to NYC through toll roads, turn pikes, and bridges. The bridges here have tolls as high as 9 dollars. Insanity. I am making my way pretty well though. Today I was chatting with my sister on the drive home and took a wrong split in the highway and ended up in Williamsburg. With my limited knowledge of the city I was able to make it back to Queens and then start my trip over again. I kinda love the city itself. It's rather sexy. I just wish I could enjoy it.

Enough complaining though. I was supposed to come home the 16th and I just changed my flight to the 9th. They can eat me if they don't like it. I informed my boss that I was coming home early and he encouraged me to do so. It's so nice to have management that really and truly backs you up and is understanding and respectful. That's what's lacking here.

No NYC for me, but yay I'm coming home. I can't wait to be home. In two weeks I go back to the sleep clinic to get my Constant Positive Air Pressure (CPAP) machine calibrated. Another night in the sleep lab, ugh! The last one wasn't as bad as I thought. You know how I said I didn't sleep at all? Well I did. I slept for six and a half hours. I just didn't realize it because I rarely made it out of the first stage of sleep. I only hit REM for 20 minutes, so I basically have been getting about 20 minutes of sleep a night for the past decade. It's nice to know I'm not crazy.

The apnea though. Lordy, lordy! A normal 24 year old probably wakes up during the course of the night about 5 times for any range of reasons. I, on the other hand, again, because I'm awesome, wake up 70 fucking times an HOUR!1!! They classify that as "severe." No shit. And every time I wake up it is because I've stopped breathing. So I stop breathing 70 times per hour. I'll spare you the hassle of pulling up your desktop calculator -- That's roughly every 51 seconds. Not exactly conducive to sleep. But this CPAP stops that from happening, meaning I could hit REM for 8 hours in one night. Holy shit, can you imagine what a difference that would make in my life?!

A few people have separately expressed the same concern. What if my personality changes on account of this? Think about it. How much more easy going are you after you've just pulled an all-nighter? Just kinda lazily making through the day. Miles even commented that when he's really tired he gets loopy and funny. I'm like that all the time. What if when I'm well rested I'm a really serious asshole? Hard to imagine, I know, I know.

Anyway, I gotta go piss and moan a little more to my parents, I just wanted you all to know that I'm miserable, so you could at least feel a little better about your own Labor Day weekend. An ULDE:IYDKYDG this is not. THIS time when I get back I'm not going nowhere, no how. So all those parties I've promised you all, we're gonna have. Unfortunately medical costs have bankrupted me, but I still have enough $$$ to get bombed. So this weekend, Ryan S■■■ specifically, it's on!

Everything’s coming up Sidesho

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The sleep clinic. Worst. experience. of. my. life. It was so terrible. It sucked because I was so looking forward to it, but in practice it was extremely uncomfortable and upsetting. You go to this hotel room and a nurse comes in to get you ready for bed. They put 3 electrodes on my face, 3 on my scalp, 2 on my chest, 4 on my legs. I had a band around my chest and one around my stomach. I had tubes up my nose and in front of my mouth. They could measure my eye movements along with all of these other medical wonders. So imagine a trunk of cables coming from your body and attaching to the headboard. Now place a camera so that it points directly at your face. Then relax and go to sleep.

Yeah, not so much. I was so geared up that I couldn't sleep all night long. I got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom (with the nurse's help) and I told her I hadn't slept at all and she said, "I noticed." So the room of technicians really were sitting there watching me all night. Didn't help matters. I did doze off for a bit toward the morning so I think they were able to collect enough data to do some good. She described my sleeping ability as "terrible." Whooptie doo.

So the next day of work was shot. I skipped the fucker. I've decided that the 12 hour trip from Cincinnati to Austin was redeemed by this day off. Mikey was in town interviewing and needed a ride so I drove him around to his interview. While he was interviewing I treated myself to a nice lunch at Tom Toms and then bought myself a new phone. This one has a camera, people. It may be the end of the Sidesho-illustrations as we know them.

Today at work they told me I was going to New York for two weeks. I told them no fucking way. They told me I could have an all expenses paid 3 day Labor Day weekend in New York City if I agreed. My flight leaves tomorrow.

I apologize to everyone that I promised I would hang out with now that I was finally back, but we're going to have to delay that another two weeks. Sorry!

It's not every day that you meet a fucking great guy, get a new phone, make a bit of extra cash, win a free trip to NYC, and have everything professional dripping off your forked tongue like silk chocolate.

I think I just went overboard there. I'm off to take friends from Sweden out for margaritas. Ole!

KY2OH2KY2OH2KY2OH2KY2OH2KY

Thursday, August 25, 2005

After having lived in Covington, Kentucky and traveling back and forth from Ohio for two weeks, I think I can safely say that I know what it's like to live in America's Heartland. We residents of Northern Kentucky/Ohio are a simple people. We like Jesus and basketball and White Castle burgers. Said another way, I can't wait to go home!

I am going to fly back to Austin tomorrow night. I was thinking about going to College Station immediately upon arriving but those plans are in the air right now. We'll just have to see. I am so ready to get home, especially since my on-again-off-again roommate Andy will be there waiting to stay with me for a few days. And I've got that night to spend wired up to electrodes in the sleep clinic. But a part of me will miss Cincinnati ... a part of Cincinnati anyway, his name is Mikey. But Mikey is moving to Dallas in about a month, so no worries there. *WINK*

I didn't spend much time sitting in my hotel room alone. I really think I probably have as many friends in Cincy as I do in Dallas. That's either a really cool display of my social skills, or a blaring example of my lack thereof.

So I apologize for not updating the entire time I was here, but this social butterfly was too busy flapping his wings. I would probably come back here if they asked me to, but only for a week. Two weeks was just too long. That expense check I'm about to get should assuage any feelings of homesickness I ever had though. I'm gonna be rolling in it, people. I can put so much into savings for my Australia trip this month. Or I could buy that leather jacket at Source Paris. Yeah, I'll probably go for the jacket.

Hope all is well with all of you and to my Dallas crew and Addison Circle, I will see you all sooooon. Late.

Ohio? What fucking joke can you even make about Ohio?

Sunday, August 14, 2005

I did it. I fucking did it. I traversed the globe from Austin, TX to Cincinnati, OH without a single hitch. I even rented my first car and followed directions to my hotel. From my balcony, I overlook a White Castle. I might have to try that tomorrow for dinner and see if it sucks even worse than Krystals does. The lady at the front desk here is super cool. She gave me a smoking room with a balcony, and had a fridge sent up to my room so I could keep the beers cold that she gave me. Who knows if she's this nice to everyone, but it sure does feel special.

I know Brandon had requested a big long blog all about my weekend in Austin, but that may have to wait a couple of days, which in effect means I will never get around to it. It is now midnight and I have to meet some dude in the lobby at 7am to go to the UC campus. So far I'm having a good time. Thanks jebus there's free internet access in my room. The workout facilities leave a lot to be desired, but it should be sufficient. But anyway, my weekend in Austin was awesome. Congratufuckinglations to Dr. and Mrs. Jamey Dent. Bang up job getting married, kids. The wedding was cathlick, the reception was fun, the nap I took after the reception was a fucking blast. I went out with Brandon and some of his friends. It was so, so good to see Brandon, not, not so good to see his friends. But, we all managed to make it though the weekend being painfully polite to each other. There's a whole sordid inside story to why that I don't feel like getting into. Let's just say his new boyfriend has every reason to hate me.

Beer #2 is now open.

So getting to Cincinnati (or Sin-sin-naughty, as I hope to come to call it) wasn't too bad. Lester took me to the airport and let me park my car at her apartment, so thanks for that, L.Bizzle said D.Fizzle. I scheduled myself a 4 hour layover in Chicago hoping that one of my two friends would be able to meet up with me for a while. Turned out that neither of them could, which was totally cool, I knew that when I scheduled the layover without asking that I was rolling the dice. So I had plenty of time to sit and eat a leisurely (free) dinner and then play Spider Solitaire for 2 hours while listening to John Denver's greatest hits.

My flight from Chicago to Cincinnati wasn't on a big American Airlines plane. It was on a smaller sub-airline, I guess, called American Eagle. I don't know about you, but visions of a flight crew dressed in tattered jeans and board shorts did not instill much confidence. But we made it on one piece with only minor turbulence, and then I masterfully navigated my (upgraded) rental car to my pimpass hotel. The fucking end.

Got a busy couple of weeks ahead of me, but so far I'm rather liking this travel thing. Now, to close, an homage to Drew Carey ... OHIO!!!1!!

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Okay, I've got a couple for all of you Google-Earthers out there ... or is it Googler-Earths? Check out [43.8789746068,-103.459672608] and [34.1341770342,-118.321979438]. They are both really cool if you turn on "terrain" and then tilt it to the max. If you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, you need to get your ass to earth.google.com, stat! (Did you know the term "stat" is an abbreviation for the Latin word statim, meaning "immediately?" I didn't. I just googled it.)

I encourage all of you to find something cool, obscure, recognizable and post it on a comment here.

Lately I have been really into trying these local dives around town. It started with the Rainbow Cafe -- I know, I know, big shocker that I went there. But it's actually just a great little soda fountain eatery in beautiful downtown Carrollton. I don't think they've remodeled (or cleaned) since 19dickity4. They have a big rainbow awning over their soda fountains and make shakes and stuff. They also have the most kickass hamburgers and they come with a figurative BUCKET of tater tots. There are so many of them that I have to put some in my zipper pocket to eat later.

Then after Brett S■■■ and I woke up on Sunday (at 9:00am, for some ung*dly reason) we tried to go to IHOP but the line was too long. So we drove a bit further and came upon Pete's Cafe -- "Come on in, for Pete's sake." Too clever and they served breakfast all day long. Our waitress's name was Doris, she was a delightful 60-something woman who called me "honey." Her birthday was last week. It just could not have been more quaint, and the food kicks ass too. Brett wasn't feeling 100% so when asked what he'd like to drink, he said, "A big ol' whoppin' glass of water." Why he said that, we both may never know. Drugs is cool. But Doris brought me my coffee and water, and the brought Brett the biggest glass they had. Too funny. Doris is a sweetheart and I can't wait to see her again.

Then today when I left work to go get something done at the public library (on account that the noise levels in my office are raising my blood pressure rapidly), I happened by this place only called "Donuts" that I've driven past 100 times. I decided to stop in. The requisite little Asian woman behind the counter greeted me. I had 3 different kinds of kolaches, all of which were fantastic. She even warmed them up for me in the microwave and snuck 4 different kinds of donut holes onto my plate when I wasn't looking. I sat at this oooold-skool bar while I ate. A donut shop with a bar? So rad.

Look, buddy, all I'm tryin' to say is that there's more to life than Smith and Wollensky's, Pappas Bros, and Three Forks. All of which sound just delicious right now. Maybe I'll go there tonight. I'm getting my hair did tonight, though, so it might have to wait until tomorrow. I expect that when I return from Cincinnati, myself and the Addison Circle will be hitting up these delightful restaurants?

Now get GOOGLING EARTH!

Stitching it all together

Tuesday, August 9, 2005

I thought I could squeeze a few more aliases out of you, since I was enjoying them so terribly much, but I guess not. If you think of one later, please feel free to share it whenever it comes together.

I couldn't possibly wait to update, though the time that has passed, and the beers that have passed through my urethra since then may convolute the stories. Sorry, was that gross? Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that the Addison Circle is coming together. Premier new members? Namely Miles, Brett S■■■ and Todd (although Todd's application is still under geographical review). Then there was Daniel and Kelly (?). They are my neighbors across the street.

So the story. Brett S■■■ and I have been wanting to hang out ever since I got back from Sweden and just now decided to carpe the diem and giterdone. He came over under the premise that we would drink and watch movies and see what happened. Well, what happened is that Miles and Todd were enjoying the Dallas Wind Symphony (which ended up being a 5 piece brass band) down in the Circle. We joined them for a bit, listened to the Sousa, and then I went to get some liquor and beer. When we were walking into my apartment to enjoy said booze, we got whistled at. Who does that? There were two boys and a girl sitting on the stoop across the street, so Todd yelled at them, "Which one of ya'll whistled." Well it turned out to be Jordan, who came up to say hello and invite us to come across to join their party at Daniel's. Gay neighbor a stone's throw away? Huzzah.

So we went and drank and chatted and then they brought out the Roor. I'm not sure I can adequately describe the Roor. It was the biggest, most intricate bong ever constructed. I swear to g*d, they all but brought out the welding torch to put this thing together. It had like 3 water reservoirs in it. I've never seen anything like it. This coming from the guy who uses a bong as a flower vase -- and nothing but a flower vase -- go figure.

It's not often that SideshoViD.com delves into the seedy underbelly of drug consumption, and it won't be through my own personal experience that we go there, but we do have to talk a bit about Mr. S■■■. As you might expect, Brett S■■■ is SABULOUS. He is both Sandy and gritty. He decided to puff-puff-pass for the first time given the circumstances. The combination of boxed wine, 100% agave tequila, vodka, beer and Mary Jane proved too much for our fearless partier. Miles and I walked him home around midnight and put him in my bed. We could have just left him alone, but instead decided to interview him on video with Miles' digital camera to hilarious results. Can I get a copy of that, btw, Miles?

We rounded out the night just having a grand old time with about 6 of their friends and it must, must occur again. BUT, first I have to go to Cincinnati for 2 weeks following my trip to Austin this weekend. So I will be gone for 3 weekends in a row. Just as the Circle is rounding out! DAMNIT! I am going to find a hotel that definitely has high speed internet access (so I can work from the hotel room, duh) so I will surely be updating you all from the WONderous land of Ohio. I have a feeling it's the Oklahoma of the north. Ugh. But a change of scenery is a change of scenery. It's time to get horizontal. Peace, bitches.

Rockabye baby

Monday, August 1, 2005

My oldest brother, Michael, who lives in Sacramento is expecting a baby. I think I might have told a lot of you that this one was going to be a boy. This information was based on a sonogram in early July that said there was a 95% chance that it would be a boy. Well, turns out that our little Seabiscuit underdog is actually my third niece. How fun is that? I didn't really have my heart set on it being a boy or a girl, so it just cracks me up that the initial guess was wrong.

Speaking of crack, former Dallas Cowboys goalie and outfielder, Michael Irvin, was working out at my gym today. We happen to be there simultaneously on occasion. He works out while two guys stand beside him screaming encouragement. It's pretty ridiculous. They yell things like, "THROW IT UP! THROW IT UP!" and it makes me want to throw it up.

He asked me for my autograph, but I didn't have a pen.

I got my much desired referral to the sleep clinic, but now I have to go to a consultation with the sleep clinic doctors. That is tomorrow morning. I had to fill out a 13 page questionnaire regarding my sleep habits and symptoms. 2 of those pages were supposed to be filled out by someone who has regularly observed you sleeping. It's been a long, long time since I've had someone who regularly observed me sleeping, so I had to call 27. I actually learned a lot about my little problem when I asked him to 'check all that apply' given a list of symptoms. He said that I have severe problems with:
light snoring, loud snoring, choking, pause in breathing, gasping for air, twitching or kicking of legs, sitting up in bed not awake, getting out of bed not awake, becoming very rigid and/or shaking

That's kind of scary. I really didn't realize it was all that bad. People die from this shit. Wouldn't it be totally funny if I suffocated from sleep apnea the day before I went to the sleep clinic. That would make a great blog. If that happens, somebody take up the reigns.

How come we spell it c-o-n-v-e-r-s-a-t-i-o-n but abbreviate it 'convo'? Shouldn't it be 'conver'?

One last note. Owen mentioned this to me first a while ago but it was down, now it's back up. Everyone, and I mean everyone, go to http://earth.google.com and download Google Earth IMMEDIATELY. It is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Especially download it on your work computer because it is amusing for hours and hours and hours.

Easy, breezy, beautiful

Sunday, July 31, 2005

There is a new name for my 'new' hair-do. It's called the breeze. Ryan S■■■ and I came up with it because it appears as though an invisible breeze is constantly blowing from the right. I'm a big fan of the breeze and plan to take it to extremes that rival my fox hawk experimentation. Tonight I went to a barbeque at Eddie's house with a bunch of peeps. It was decided that I have to crimp my hair. This guy said he would buy me a crimper if I would go out with my hair crimped. I'm going to see if I can get that started. How fucking funny would that be? Very.

I do need to make an appt to have my hair cut before AllieD's wedding. I'm thinking of going platinum, but I'm not entirely sure. I may let Xristofer have the final say since I'm always so damn happy with the results, but I am kind of tired of the dark. I can hide the fact that my blonde hair has grown out blonde highlights, but it's a little bit more obvious with the dark. All I know is that I want it to be so much longer than it is and I am convinced that it has stopped growing. Patience has never been my #1 virtue.

Had a pretty good weekend. Met lots of new neighbors that could be pretty fun. Drank lots and lots of beer. Watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith with no sound (review to follow). All in all, not too shabby. Tomorrow I go to the doctor to get my apnea fixed. I cannot wait. Plus, I'll leave work early. Hurrah!

Some biznazz to attend to

Saturday, July 30, 2005

I'd like to thank you all for coming on such short notice. The reason I called you here is to take care of a few items of business.

First, I will be in Austin (Round Rock) on August 12. I am going to AllieD's wedding, remember? Well then my boss comes to tell me that I will be in Cincinnati for two weeks ... the two weeks that would put that wedding smack dab in the middle. I'm not sure, smack dab may be kind of strong, but in the middle nonetheless. I gave them two options, since I am an uppity little shit. I said they could either pay for me to go to Austin that weekend or delay my trip one week. They opted for the latter. Disaster! Nobody wants to attend a wedding reception and then wake up early the next day to drive three hours and get on a plane. So now, I am going to fly out of Austin on the 14th, the details of which aren't entirely worked out. I'll be on the campus of the University of Cincinnati for two weeks and then I will fly back into Austin. Then I'll party one more weekend in that fair city before I return to Dallas. Should be fun.

Secondly, I made an appointment with a doctor for Monday. I am going to go in and repeat back to him the symptoms of sleep apnea that I read on the internet. Please, it won't be the first time I've lied to a doctor to get what I want. Although, usually that is prescription medication. This time, it will be my golden ticket. You see, in order to go to the sleep clinic that I want to go to, you need a referral from a general practitioner. So I'm going to do what it takes to get that referral. Then I get to go to a sleep clinic and spend the night wired up with electrodes and monitors and shit and they will see that I'm waking up 1,000 times a night. I also know from eye witness accounts that I stop breathing for long periods of time and then gasp for air. It's so sleep apnea; it has to be. We're gonna get that taken care of though, don't you worry.

Those were the two action items I wanted to address today. If anybody knows anyone in or anything about Cincinnati please hit me up. Laaaaaaaaaate.

To flip or not to flip

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Every now and then on SideshoViD.com, I bring you pressing social issues and damning political commentary. This is one of those times. I bring you another monumental your-opinion-doesn't-really-matter-all-that-much-but-I'll-ask-it-anyway call to action. There is one thing that is driving me crazy about growing my hair out. It's not the tangles, the frizz, or the constant ironing -- it's the monotony. I am accustomed to radically changing my hair on a nearly daily basis. There was a time not to long ago when I would wake up with red hair, go to class with blue, and fall asleep with green. I can no longer make these drastic changes. And changing which side of my head I part on just isn't getting me off like it used to.

So I bring you the question: to flip or not to flip. It's my new innovation for my hair. Instead of curling everything under in a tidy package, I've started allowing the natural flow of my hair to come through by flipping the left side out. Sometimes drastically. So I want to know what the general public opinion is. 27 used to flip his hair just for me, since he generally hated to do so, into a style I dubbed the "Carol Brady." But I'm not doing both sides, just one. I think it creates a nice movement that has been lacking as of late. If you like the flip, let me know. If not, burn in hell. As always, I'll entertain your opinions, as long as your opinions entertain me.

In other news, my super secret social project that I've cleverly named "The Addison Circle" is slowly but surely coming along. This is where I am going to create my own social circle comprised entirely of people who live north of 635. Tonight I had drinks with Mr. K■■■■■■ and Matt L■■■■■, both of whom live just a stone's throw away from me in Addison Circle. Soon, soon, it will turn from a triangle, to a square, to a pentagon, to a hexagon, to a heptagon, to an octagon, to a nonagon, to a decagon ... and I'm tired of this game, continue on for me in comments if you like ... and eventually approach a circle.

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride

Monday, July 25, 2005

This weekend I went to my first, only, and therefore best, bachelorette party ever. Miss AllieD is getting married in August and came up to Dallas where her maid-of-honor lives to celebrate. It was only natural that she invite me to join. I was rather surprised at how many people were incensed by the fact that I was attending a bachelorette party. Hello? Welcome to 2005. We are adults and we can do whatever the fuck we want.

The night started off with some wine and some Asshole. I was the President the entire time because I rule. Plus, it was kind of my first time in recent memory to play the game, so AllieD gave me some advice that was GOLD, Jerry, GOLD! After that, AllieD, Kelley, Jennifer, Ann Marie and I drove down to Monica's in Deep Ellum. At first, I wasn't too fond of the place. They had a live band playing, but the band was playing SO loud that all conversation was rendered useless. You could sit, eat chips, and smile at each other, that was about it. Then they started up the congo line. If you joined the congo line, as you passed by the front door, they grabbed your head and poured tequila into your mouth. Good tequila. That changed my opinion but quick! Shit, I wouldn't mind prison if they came by periodically while I was digging ditches and poured tequila in my mouth.

From there, it was on to Station 4 for the drag show. Pretty clever, eh? Having a bachelorette party at a gay club. Wrong! There were no less than 6 wedding parties there. So many, in fact, that all the brides-to-be were invited on stage and asked inappropriate questions. AllieD was quite entertaining, though I won't divulge the dirty little secrets she revealed on stage. *WINK*

It really was fun though. I haven't gotten drunk with AllieD in 4eva. The wedding in August should be even more fun. It's in Austin so I'm taking B-randon with me. Before I go, you may be worrying yourself over why I'm blogging at 2pm. No, I didn't get fired yet. My humidifier is coming today, so I'm home to accept the package, and I'm working from home, quote-unquote. I am watching Trigger Happy TV and laughing my ass off. This lady is dressed like a waitress and walking around the city asking people if they want fresh ground pepper. Trust me, it's hilarious. Peace.

UPDATE: My humidifer came and it is FUCKING BROKEN! The fan inside is all effed up and I plugged it in without noticing. A few minutes later, I smelled something acrid, so I went and checked on it and found it billowing smoke. I don't have a hollow hexagonal screw driver to open the thing up, so I'm going to have to ship it back and then wait for another one. FUUUUUUUUUUCCCKCKKKKKCKCCKC!!!!1!

Birthday recapitulation

Thursday, July 7, 2005

Before we begin -- everyone did realize that all of those people in the picture from yesterday were also celebrating their birthdays, right? Right? I've had a few people who thought I just threw together random celebrities and my friend Kevin to make myself a birthday poster or something. Sometimes I overestimate you people.

Speaking of overestimation ... my birthday. Good things first. Started getting phone calls, text messages, IMs and comments on my webpage and myspace starting at midnight and continuing throughout the day. I was pleasantly surprised by how many people remembered (my constant reminders having very little to do with it I'm sure). So thank you to everybody who made me feel special yesterday.

Great birthday. About the birthnight, though.... I won't use any names because nobody especially did anything wrong, it was just the sheer number of people who crapped out on me that it almost reduced me to putting on pajamas and taking 24 tequila shots in bed. I had people tell me they were tired. I had people tell me they had no money. I had people just say, 'Noooooo I'm not going out.' Somebody said they couldn't go and then called back and said, 'My other friend just invited me out so now I'm going.' Some people did just the opposite fervently promising to make an appearance only to call and say they'd changed their minds. Those are the ones that did call, some just never showed. Some people wouldn't even answer their phones or return text messages and voicemails. Talk about demoralizing.

Birthdays are just about my favorite thing in life. It's just such a perfect thing to celebrate. It's one day of the year that is uniquely yours despite the fact that you probably share it with 1/365th of the world. I have always bent over backwards to make sure my friends have good birthdays. I've dropped hundreds of dollars on gifts and parties and booze. I've gone out even when I'm tired, even when I'm poor, even when I have to work the next day. And I don't do it because I expect a reward in return; I do it because I truly enjoy it. I just thought given the circumstances that at least one of my friends might do the same for me. Apparently I was wrong.

Ooooor was I? Enter knights in shining armor. H■■■■■■ and his boyfriend Sean, who had not planned on venturing out last night, but upon hearing that it was my birthday decided to go, and ultimately take me out. I had so much fun with them. The belt was scrolling "ITS MAH BIRFDAY" all night long. I met Rocky who was also celebrating his 24th birthday. How fun is that? Drank a lot. A lot. I spent the night on Hag's couch and woke up deliciously hungover around 1:00 to drive home. I took this whole day off from work, which is so fun. I gotta skip work more often.

So all in all, I would put this one in the win column. This blog seriously just took me nearly 6 hours to write. I have been falling asleep periodically all day long. Best day ever. Czech you skillets later.

Holy crap I’m drunk as hail

Monday, July 4, 2005

Well hello there, everybody. This is Sidesho reporting to you live from Ryan S■■■'s fabulously newly painted apartment ... oh, and also drunk as hail. He was supposed to wake up and drink more with me when I got home but that has proven unpossible. Me fail English?

So tonight I had planned on going out on account that I do not have to work tomorrow. RAWK! But then, lo and behold, I get a call from the callbox of my apartment and it is JennyC■■■ and her mother. They had been at the Kaboom Town hoopla hosted by my gracious landlord and wanted to cool off. Okay, no problem. But then they managed to convince me to join them for the fireworks. More and more, as the years pass, I have found myself less and less interested in the traditional festivities dictacted by every holiday. I couldn't have cared less whether or not I saw fireworks. (Although fireworks do hold a special place in my heart since when I was little my parents used to tell me that the fireworks were in honor of my birthday.) So, I find myself on the top floor of a parking garage watching fireworks. In their defense, it was the best finale I have ever seen in my life. Probably 5 fireworks a second for about 5 minutes. RAD!

After that, we eat at a piss-poor restaurant inside Addison Circle and then I go home. Turns out, every fucking road in Addison is a parking lot. At this point, I've resolved myself to not go out, on account that I cannot leave the parking garage. A few IMs with Ryan S■■■ later, I am on the road bound for downtown Dallas. It was rigoddamndiculous getting to the Tollway, but when I finally did, we were en route to JRs. Keith and Lauren and some girl named Katie that I met for the first time tonight (?) joined us. I managed to get drunk as hail between 12:30 and 2:00am. But that couldn't possibly be enough for me, right? Right?!

So I took Ryan S■■■ home to his beatiful and newly painted apartment and proceeded to drink some more when disaster struck. We are out of cigarettes! Unacceptable when plastered. So he goes to bed and I walk my happy ass to the 24-7 Wally Mart nearby to get some. I talked to my lover Marshall the whole way there. That was fun since I haven't talked to him in 4-eva, and he claims to have blonde hair now. So anyway, I bought some squares, as Joseph would call them, and then walked home to find Ryan - surprise - passed the fuck out and me drinking alone.

So there we are. By my records, I have made zero grammatical mistakes. You're more than welcome to double check that assertion. You'll notice that when I'm drunk I just ramble; I don't skimp on the important stuff. Please don't forget that my birthday is on Wednesday. No one that I know of has made any plans for me, so I think I'm going to take Thursday off of work and go out Wednesday with Andrew. I'll definitely keep you all posted on that. Later sk8ers!

Have mercy!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Since I've been back to working in the office every day, I've also started tanning again. The salon I go to is kind of far from my apartment, but it's right on the way home from work. I know nobody will ever notice except for me, but it's really starting to work. It's a subtle change from sickly pale to really pale, but it does wonders for my self esteem. I like knowing that I'm getting tanner. Not like Danny Tanner, but maybe like DJ Tanner.

Long ago when I lived with Keith he told me what I still consider to be one of the funniest things ever said. He was going to get a turn table, learn how to spin, and then call himself DJ Tanner. And I would join him up on stage under my psuedonym, DJ Connor. Wouldn't everyone in the world come to see us? And the flyer design would be obvious.

I didn't end up having that party this weekend. Ryan H■■■■'s parents went out of town and he couldn't leave his dog alone overnight. I'm not sure what that's all about but we had to reschedule. Instead, I hung out with Thommi who came to visit me. We did the normal weekend of window shopping and drinking. I got crabs.

Thommi got popcorn shrimp.

Hannibal the cannibal

Thursday, June 9, 2005

Is it weird that after I get done tanning, the smell eminating from my skin makes me hungry? Somebody back me up on this one.

I got carded on the way home buying cigarettes at the discount tobacco store, and then the old Indian man went on like a 5 minute explanation of how I have a baby face and that means that I am a good person inside because a good person's features never change. I was like, "Thanks, Vishnu, can I have my smokes now?"

So I've decided to push back my Australia trip to July 7th through the 15th. That means that I will be here on July 4th and my birthday July 6th. Tomorrow is Justin's birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN. Hurry up and come to Dallas and bring me my belt. I saw a chick in a bar wearing one, and I simply must be the first to have one in my social circle or else the novelty will wear off.

This Saturday Ryan and Todd are coming over from Arlington to play drinking games with me. Thommi might come up. Lesbie Ann might come. I'm going to invite Will and Lindsay too to make it a royal college reunion. Ryan S■■■ is bringing Robert and I'm going to see if Lil Jarrod wants to come. Party at the 735 square feet of fun! Damnit, now I have to clean. Anyway, if you want to come, let me know.

I almost forgot, today at work I switched my keyboard to Dvorak. I'll let you all know how that works out for me.

Nothing else to report. My days blend into each other as I drudge through the monotony of a job well done. Czech you skillets later.

One non-blonde

Saturday, June 4, 2005

So I wake in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs, "What's goin' on?" g*d, remember what a kickass song that was? Well, I'm not blonde anymore ... not entirely anyway. The whole perimeter of my hairline is dark brown and then the top is a more muted blonde with some of the dark weaved in. I absolutely love it. I went to see Xristopher on a whim and told him to surprise me. It's nice to have someone that you can say that to and know that the surprise will be good. I always walk out of Pompeo looking like a rawkstar. And I went out that night, naturally, and got a million compliments from friends and strangers, so that always makes it worth while.

I worked from home all last week. I know you all think that means that I didn't work, but you're wrong. I got a lot done. But I did massage my schedule just a bit. You see, Cameron F■■■ ended up extending his stay through Thursday. We went bowling one night ... I've got to start bowling more. I sucked it up at the bowling alley. Kevin, you would be ashamed of me. I could NOT get a strike, I kept getting 9. So after the game was over and there were like 3 minutes left on our lane, I would attempt a strike, fail, and then Cameron F■■■ would go for the spare. All this as fast as we possibly could, allowing me another 4 or 5 attempts at a strike, none of which were successful. How depressing.

To clarify this next portion, you would have to know that Cameron F■■■ is a photographer out in L.A. He does really nice work, too. You can check out some of his folio at www.cameronf■■■.com. Pretty cool, huh? So when I got an email from him asking if I would like to do a photoshoot I was understandably excited and flattered. But my hair! It was an overgrown tangled mess. So I called Xristopher and made an appointment to have it fixed. We went out to the strip that night and had a b-last. The next day I went and picked up Cameron F■■■ and we came back to my apartment. We sat and chatted for a while while he enjoyed his last Sonic burger (a delicacy that is apparently unavailable in L.A.). Then we picked out an outfit and got to shooting. I never in a million years thought I would be a model-of-sorts in an hours-long photoshoot. Definitely a selfesteem boost. I haven't seen any of the pictures yet, but I already feel beautiful.

The rest of the day we hung out with Hag and Junior and then said our fare-thee-wells to Cameron F■■■. I was sad to see him go. It's so rare that you hit it off so well with someone so instantly. It reminded me of hanging out with Chris Apollo in Berlin. Maybe there's not anything wrong with me like I was beginning to assume. Maybe I'm just in the wrong city. Cameron F■■■ is moving to Copenhagen for a few months and I am so jealous. He'll be a 15 minute train ride from where I was staying in Malmo. I still wish I was there. But my life is here, for the time being, and the next few years.

So there you have it, that's what I've been up to. My question to you is: When is the last time you did something you've never done before? If you can't think of one, then it's time to get crazy with the Cheeze Wiz. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate.

Addison tastes like trailer trash.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Taste of Addison might be more appropriately titled if it were called "Rednek White Trash Bash Carnie Festival Early 90s Rock Fair." Rest assured, dear readers, I will not be attending RWTBCFE9RF next year. No way no how. However, I would be remiss to not mention the silver lining on my clouded demeanor, Miss Lindsay Stone. She pretty much forced me against my will to have a good time. We had some laughs at my unknowingly evil glances at fat people with cottage cheese butts in tube tops and hot pants. She fed me beers that we snuck in with her big purse. *Clink!* And she didn't make me sit in the grass ... puhlease, I was wearing BRAND NEW jeans.

Other highlight of the evening? Mister Will Pendleton was in attendance. I made him hug me when he got there and he said I had "a whole lot of hair going on" and that I had "bulked up." We like Will. Will also bought me beers TWO AT A TIME. We really like Will. After I was good and toasted, we ran over to Duke's in Addison where I tried to make it up to my two patrons with an open tab and a few pitchers of beers. Deelish. What a way to spend an evening.

In other news, I had spent the earlier part of the evening having the most fabulous shopping date with our dear friend Ryan S■■■. We went to the West Village where we visited the new Octane store and I just had to get some new jeans that I could not afford. My Sevens that I bought with Leslie a little over a year ago and then proceeded to wear every single day of my life are almost at the end of theirs. The minute hole in the crotch grows bigger every day. The real reason for telling this story? Ryan S■■■ told me what he's planning on getting me for my birthday and I just CANNOT keep it in any longer. He's going to take me to see NEIL DIAMOND IN CONCERT! AAAAAAHHHH! That is the best fucking present anyone has ever given me! I bet none of you can top that! Omega omega omega SWEEEEEEEEEEET CAROLINE! BA DUH DUH DUH! I can not wait. The concert's not til later this summer and hopefully it won't be when I'm in Australia. But fucking Neil Diamond?! Can you imagine?! I love you Ryan S■■■!

The only present I can think of that's better than that is this belt I saw in the Post Oak Mall (it's a great shopping place). It's from that ghetto belt buckle store where they can carve you one that says BLING or something. But these ones are little screens that scroll words across it. I wanted one soo bad but I was too embarassed to buy one. I told Justin M■■■ to get me one for my birthday but he didn't sound like he was actually going to, so check with him to make sure before you buy me one. I don't want two in the same color. I also tried to buy myself a programmable thermostat for my apartment on eBay today. I bid with 6 hours left and then had to go to work and I lost. But there were like a 100 of them on there, so I'm gonna go bid on some more. I work in the damn controls industry, I don't need to be manually setting the temperature in my own apartment. Gosh!

And that ugly fucking maid never called me back neither.

Yes, but what kind of uniforms do you wear?

Thursday, May 12, 2005

I called a maid today. But she didn't answer, nor did she call back. I'm not sure how professional that is. There was a flyer on my door today making similar claims to the last flyer that I had. Hey, remember that time that that girl running for class president gave me a flyer and I rolled it up and smoked it right in front of her?! Vote for Carrie! Or that girl that had misspelled her name on a stack of a few hundred flyers? Vote for Krisitna! Hahaha. Where was I?

Oh yeah, so another indication that this is not a super professional operation is that there were two numbers on the flyer that you could call -- either Lily or Joanna. I called Joanna because I figured she would be the easier of the two to haggle with, since Lily is the better looking one. How do I know that Lily is better looking? Let me ask you this. Have you ever met an ugly Lily? And have you ever met an ugly Joanna? Case closed.

Hopefully she'll call me back tomorrow. I left her a message. I have come to the fabulous conclusion that I am fundamentally incapable of taking care of myself. But what I am entirely capable of is throwing money at a problem until it goes away. In my defense though, I have been wholly dedicated to the sleep rules and it is really starting to pay off. So by the time I get off work (which has been later and later lately), come home and veg, get to the gym for my daily workout, and back home to finish eating, it is time to start the wind-down process before bed. It leaves me very little time to clean, and any time I have to clean is going to be spent drinking, believe you me. I haven't had a drink in almost a week and that is just unacceptable.

This weekend is Taste of Addison here at Addison Circle. That means one thing to me -- that I won't be able to get to my apartment for a few days. But Lindsay invited me to go with her and some coworkers on Saturday. And I think Will is going to join us. How fun is that? Stupid fun! Yay, czech you skillets later.

Traenenschwer

Sunday, May 8, 2005

I am back home from College Station. It was a somewhat spur-of-the-moment decision to make an appearance there. I was sittin around last week when I realized that next weekend is graduation (my own graduation anniversary also, get me presents) and that this would be my last chance to see the remaining friends I have all together. I drove down Friday after wearing a hard hat all day and got down to some serious drinking. I was staying with Raul and Brandon this time around so thank you, thank you, thank you to them for letting me stay in their apartment.

I did some serious drinking on Friday night which led to a lackluster attitude all day and night Saturday. But it was really nice to see everybody while I was around. Who knows when my next CS venture will be, so if you want to see me again, you bitches will have to come to Dallas.

When I was in Brandon's room he had music from his playlist playing the whole time. One of the songs he played was Ashlee Simpson's "Autograph." If you'll recall, I publicly stated my hatred for Ashlee Simpson back in June of 04. I just want to make sure you all know that she's a talentless whore. Anyway, I totally recognize this song, and there is absolutely no reason why I should have heard it before ... unless I heard the same song performed by Juli, a German band whose CD I bought when I was in Berlin. Juli has a song called "Traenenschwer" that is the same as Ashlee's "Autograph." I tried to do some research tonight to figure out what the deal is there. Owen seems to think it is very common for bands to share tracks, but I think that's a total lie. No band is gonna be like, "Ja, we've got this really kuhl song, why don't you take it, you shitty American pop wannabe, and put your own fucking retarded lyrics on top of our music." Somebody find something out for me that I don't have the patience to find and let me know. If this could effectively bring an end to Ashlee Simpson that would be even better.

Sleep tight

Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Well, I thought that Backstreet joke was funny, anyway.

A new goal of mine: just once, just once, I would like to sleep through an entire night. I had talked to Edward S■■■■■ about this, since he has first hand knowledge of my sleep apnea and a medical degree, and he referred me to some websites where I could find a sleep clinic. They had their 10 good sleep habits, and I've decided to adhere to them come hell or high water for a while and see if it can help me without a doctor's visit. And the gooooood habits ARE! --

1. Maintain a Regular Sleep Schedule. It will be helpful for you to maintain a regular bedtime and arise time on both weekdays and weekends. Failure to do so, for example, by frequently staying up late can reset your internal biological clock to a later bedtime, leading to a circadian rhythm disorder called "delayed sleep phase syndrome." Also, it’s especially important to avoid "sleeping in" in the morning after a night of poor sleep. Instead, you should arise at the same time every morning, on both weekdays and weekends, regardless of how poor the prior night’s sleep has been. Although this can be difficult to initiate at first, it can, after a few weeks, help normalize your sleep-wake rhythm, and increase your sleep efficiency. (Guilty)

2. Get Enough Daylight. Lack of sufficient daily exposure to sunlight is often partially responsible for people’s difficulty in sleeping at night (daylight is a powerful regulator of the circadian cycle). It’s beneficial for you to spend at least 30 minutes per day outside, in natural sunlight, preferably during the first hour or two in the morning. If you’re unable to do so, try for a minimum of 30 minutes per day in strong artificial light. (Guilty)

3. Avoid Post-Lunch Caffeine. Most people know that that the intake of caffeine and similar stimulants in the afternoon and evening can interfere with falling asleep and remaining asleep at night. Most clinicians therefore advise avoiding caffeinated coffee, tea, and carbonated beverages for the rest of the day after lunch, as well as caffeine-like substances found in chocolate, cocoa, and in some weight-control aids, pain relievers, diuretics, and cold and allergy remedies. Some individuals are highly sensitive to caffeine and should stop use entirely. (Guilty)

4. Avoid Daytime Napping. With some exceptions (for example, in some cases of insomnia in the elderly), daytime napping solves only a short-term problem of fatigue, and it can contribute to the long-term development of insomnia at night, by disrupting normal sleep-wake rhythms, as noted earlier. In most cases, you should eliminate napping. (Guilty)

5. Make Your Bedroom Quiet and Comfortable. Insomniacs often overlook the fact that their bed and bedroom may not be as quiet or comfortable as they could be to promote restful sleep. It’s wise to assess for any disruptive lights, sounds, temperatures, or touch sensations and adopt whatever measures are necessary to reduce or eliminate these discomforts (for example, using eyeshades, earplugs, a low-volume background sound, or a new mattress or pillow). A bedroom temperature of 65° F is recommended for good sleep. (Guilty)

6. Avoid Alcohol Within Two Hours of Bedtime. Aside from the risk of developing alcoholism, it’s not productive to use alcohol as a sleeping aid, despite the popular notion that an evening "nightcap" promotes sleep. Research has shown that although one to two drinks within two hours of bedtime may assist with falling asleep, it tends to disrupt subsequent sleep by increasing later wakefulness. Also, alcohol intake prior to bedtime tends to relax the muscles of the throat and to suppress awakening mechanisms, thereby making snoring and sleep apnea episodes more likely, sometimes to the point of being life-threatening. (Guilty) (Guilty) (Guilty) (Guilty)

7. Avoid Smoking Nicotine Products Within Two Hours of Bedtime. Aside from the health risks associated with smoking, it‘s not productive to smoke up until bedtime. Like caffeine, nicotine is a central nervous system stimulant, and evening smoking tends to increase heart rate and blood pressure as well as stimulate brain activity in ways that are incompatible with sleep. Also, nicotine withdrawal symptoms during the night can contribute to wakefulness. People who stop smoking are likely to sleep better after 10 days of abstinence. (Guilty) (Guilty) (Guilty) (Guilty)

8. Avoid Large Meals Within Two Hours of Bedtime. Although a light snack before bed can be beneficial, consuming large meals in the late evening is not recommended. It can be sleep-incompatible to assign your gastro-intestinal tract the task of digesting a large meal at night, and it can increase the risk of heartburn during the night. (Guilty)

9. Avoid Exercise Within Two Hours of Bedtime. As part of the circadian cycle, core body temperature begins to decrease in the late evening, and this assists with falling asleep and remaining asleep later. Engaging in vigorous exercise within two hours of bedtime can be counter-productive because it tends to raise core body temperature and activate the nervous system. In the interest of improving sleep, the best time to exercise is in the late afternoon. (Guilty)

10. Wind Down Before Bedtime. Insomniacs commonly complain of physical tension and mental alertness when they should be sleeping. In the interest of physical relaxation and mental calm, it’s wise for you to wind down for one to two hours before bed by engaging in an enjoyable, relaxing activity. During this wind-down period, you should avoid working, studying, talking on the telephone, arguing, watching exciting television shows, reading exciting books, and so forth. (Guilty)

So as you can see there is definite room for improvement. Last night I put the thermostat down to 65 degrees and it made a world of difference. Fuck the electrical bill, that was heavenly. Also, I didn't drink, smoke, or workout less than two hours before bed and I went to bed at a reasonable hour. I also turned my clock away from my bed so I can't read the time. That was the biggest improvement. I really think this could make a big difference. The hard part will be sticking to my resolution, like tonight when we celebrate (mourn?) Sean leaving Dallas for Boise, Idaho-no-youdaho. Til then!

Hot Diggity Dog

Sunday, May 1, 2005

When I first heard the big news, I was like, "Backstreet's back?... Alright."

The last two nights I have gone out on the town with Mr. Sean W■■■■ and both nights have lead us on the meandering path of alcoholic revelry. Friday, I went to happy hour right after work, and I went to bed around 5am, which constituted 12 hours of consistent drinking. I am such a hoss. And I had the hangover to prove it. Sitting in my apartment with a pounding head and aching stomach, and nothing to assuage the pain, I did the only logical thing -- I got on Albertsons.com and delivered some groceries. Now I have more varieties of juice than you can shake a stick at ... and you can sure shake a stick at a lot of juice.

Last night was really the piece de resistance, Sean's swansong, if you will. The club was a blast; I sure am going to miss Sean when he moves back to Idaho-no-youdaho. We mostly just sat in the Rose Room and watched the drag show. The real fun was when we finally left the club as Sean begged me to take him to Whataburger (as if 6 taquitos the night before were not enough). I really just wanted to head straight home. We really didn't even have to compromise as the solution to the situation presented itself in the form of the hot dog vendor on Cedar Springs. I was his very first credit card transaction lo those months ago, and he has always remembered me and talked to me every time I am around.

We proceeded to consume 8 hotdogs amongst myself, Sean, and Ryan H■■■■■■. Sean was by far the champion, setting a new record of consuming 4 hot dogs and a bag of chips. I came in a close second with 3 and a bag of cookies. I had my camera with me so I was able to document the triumphant ingestion of Sean's 4th fucking hotdog. The picture came out so damn cute that I just wanna print it out and get a kitschy frame for it and put it next to my bed. Okay, I'm never really gonna do that, so I photoshopped it all for you so you wouldn't have to use your imaginations. Cue the music, "Meeeeemories...."

Today the groceries arrived, so I've been chowing down on yogurt (mmm, not even later, it's the kind with fruit on the bottom), cottage cheese, and juice. Today is my mommy's birthday and I get to go to dinner with her and my daddy ... did somebody say steak? More on that, after these messages....

… and now, the REST of the story….

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Sometimes these blogs just write themselves. I swear. I've blissfully avoided piecing together Friday evening in an attempt to avoid the inevitable embarrassment associated with a night of heavy drinking; however, this morning the puzzle became inexorably more complicated. I believe I mentioned in my post a few days ago that one of the guys Karen and I became associated with was wearing a cool jacket. It was like a blue velvet sports jacket. Or it could have been a fuchsia wind breaker for all I know, but I'm pretty sure it was blue and velvet. At some point in the night, one of my business cards found its way into the pocket of this jacket, and last night our friend found it and emailed me this:

From: J
Sent: Monday, March 28, 2005 10:01 PM
To: David F■■■■
Subject: all apologies

Hey, this is Jordan (from the New Amsterdam). I found your card in my pocket and figured I take the opportunity to apologize on behalf of my friend, especially to your friend. After he jumped out of my moving vehicle and scaled the security fence I don't know what happened. Not to try to justify his behavior, but he just got back from Iraq and he's having a tough time dealing with major PTSD. I guess being ordered to firing indiscriminately upon women and children will do that... Anyway, just let your friend know that I'm extremely sorry and if there is anything I can do to make it up to you guys let me know.
-Jordan

Let me just start by saying that I thought it was really cool of this guy to email me. It's not every day that you do something stupid with a complete stranger when you're drunk and are afforded the opportunity to apologize. In fact, I'm going to seize that opp. myself as soon as I'm done with this blog. Secondly, HOLY SHIT! Evel Knievel style tuck-and-rolls from moving vehicles? Scaling security fences?! Firing indiscriminately upon women and children?!?! Curse me for passing out!

Really my first reaction to all of this was concern for Karen. I know I'm not the most prudent fellow when it comes to picking friends whilst intoxicated, but I certainly don't want to put my friends in harm's way. I called Karen the first chance I got and she assured me that everything was cool. She said they stayed shortly at my apartment, the guys left, she followed close behind, heard them yelling and slipped out a different exit. She, also, was not privy to any acrobatics.

I guess the time has come to stop carrying business cards with me when I'm planning on doing some heavy drinking with anonymous strangers. Although, I guess it's not really fair to refer to ol' Jordan as anonymous. I think he's good people. I think Karen summed it up just perfectly in her comment, "......a night out with David is always an experience. Same time next week?" Whatagal!

Oh, and apparently she couldn't escape the inquisition at work Monday because Sean and Max had read my website. I was unaware they were keeping tabs on me, so I thought I'd holla at my peeps. You guys shouldn't be reading my website at work, it'll ruin your SPI and CPI.

So Maredsou me

Friday, March 25, 2005

Last night I got a call from my old friend Karen who has now moved to Dallas and lives just blocks away from me. I decided to take her to mine and Ryan Cloutier's special little place -- The New Amsterdam Coffeehaus. They have all kinds of fun beers. Unfortunately for me, they are all 8 or 9 percent alcohol so I wasn't quite in control of my consumption. When it was time to leave, we were talking to two guys that had a table next to ours. One of them had a cool jacket and he let me try it on.

As we were leaving, I had to pause briefly to throw up on the street, and consequently my shoes. How unbecoming. Then, the confusion begins. For some reason after this display of public intoxication, the four of us decided to go back to my apartment all the way in Addison. What's additionally confusing is that the guy whose jacket I wore drove me and followed Karen and his friend. Why wouldn't we have ridden with the people we knew? Who thinks to themselves, "This guy just douched out a planter, I think I'd like him in my truck!"

Alas, he paid for his affability. As we were cruising up Central Expressway, I had to roll down the window and puke out the side of a strangers truck going 70mph in the rain. When I was finished, I put a 10 dollar bill in the console of his car. He rather angrily said, "Don't insult me," and threw it back at me. "I'm not trying to buy your forgiveness," I replied, "I'm trying to buy you the super ultra deluxe car wash." He laughed and accepted my meager compensation.

When we got home, I emulated Lil Jarrod last weekend. Lil Jarrod just turned 21 and I had the esteemed honor of driving him to dinner and then to the bars where we met up with some friends. I also had the esteemed honor of bringing him home, which involved carrying him to my apartment, and holding his hair while he regurgitated the evening. So there I was, layin on the wonderfully cold tile next to the toilet. Who knows how long I was there. I woke up this morning in bed fully clothed, but not fully aware.

I wonder how long they all hung out in my apartment. I could call Karen but I'm a tad embarassed. Tonight I'm mosdef just takin it easy and cleaning. Although cleaning, combined with the flier attached to my door, have convinced me that it is time to hire a maid. It's unacceptable to clean every 3 months. Maria could do it once a week. I'll probably look into that when I get back from Europe. I'll be in Sweden in exactly a week, but I'll have internet access so it'll be like I'm not even gone.

One last random observation. I was driving through a school zone and I looked at the crosswalk sign. Isn't it odd that the man and woman are both carrying attaché cases? Who does that? And why hasn't some rednek complained that the man has a purse yet. Think about it. Peace.

Oh snap!

Saturday, March 19, 2005

I got my hair did today. It looks incredible. I am so excited. I will take a picture of it soon for all of you loyal Sidesho-viewers. It was by far the most expensive haircut I have ever gotten, and it was by far worth every penny. Money just can't buy the sheer extasy that I get from a killer haircut. I got it done by Xristopher at Pompeo ... he's the new Hannah.

While I was there, they were filming a reality TV show that is based around the salon, the stylists, and ~~exacerbates~~ emphasizes how shallow and pretentious Dallas is. A show about how shallow and pretentious Dallas is ... on the day I'm there having my hair highlighted. Fantastic. They interviewed Xristopher WHILE he was doing my hair, and asked him to please turn me more toward the camera. So I think I'm totally going to be on this new reality TV show on TLC. I forget what they were calling it, it's something like Chic Dallas or something stupid. How funnoying.

I just invented a new word. Did you notice?

Tonight is Brent and Levi's housewarming party. Last night Ryan S■■■ and I drank SO much straight vodka while dancing in our pj's to Neil Diamond that it would make you sick. I know it made me sick. So my body is really crying to stay home, but my liver says to go out ... and you should always listen to your liver. So much iron. I'm off! Czech you skillets on the flip side.

17 Comments

In vino veritas

Thursday, March 17, 2005

I can only assume I did not win the HGTV Dream Home. Alas. To console myself, I decided to beautify my own little space just a little bit. As you all know, I've been collecting wine bottles for some time now with this grand idea in my little head about how I would arrange them fabulously atop my kitchen cabinets. Today, I got the last two bottles I needed, and the gumption to git'erdone.

What do you think? Say nice things about it. And by "nice things" I don't mean "bitchy things followed by less-than-threes." I spent my entire afternoon and evening putting together my new decorations. I must say thank you, thank you, thank you to Ryan S■■■ for helping me buy those little pewter-inlayed shelves with my Pier 1 gift certificate he got me for x-mas. It just wouldn't have pulled together with out it.

Since I had my camera out, I took a quick pic of Tuna's new tank that I told you all about. It's just a little bit more sophistocated, a little bit more Tuna's taste. He was always a little bit patronized by the rainbow castle, so I could see his sigh of relief when I inserted this shroom-tastic rock. Literally. Little sigh bubbles. Then we high-fived.

I watched a really long special tonight on Prader-Willi Syndrome. It's this biological disorder where your brain will never tell you that you are full. In fact, you are in a state of constant starvation, not only mentally, but your body acts accordingly. It would be like if you were stuck on an island for 2 weeks starving and then someone walked by with a steak. You'd do anything to get that steak. That's how these people are every minute of every day. Can you imagine? This dude was like 400 lbs and he JUST got done eating and said that he was doing everything he could to not immediately eat again.

I don't know why I felt inclined to share that. I just thought it was fascinating. I rounded out the evening watching MRIs of people doing the dirrty on Discovery, and everything you never cared to know about booze on the History Channel. Best St. Patricia's Day EVER!1!!!

I’m moving to Tyler soon

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

My new niece could not have been cuter. She is so, so tiny. She has a full head of hair that is probably the softest thing I have ever felt. I got her a green outfit for her birthday because I didn't want her to get pinched next Thursday. She's just a baby, for g*d's sake. It's not nice to pinch babies. She's too young for beer, but maybe my sis will be festive and feed her green breast milk.

That was gross, sorry. Not much else of note going on over here. I'm counting the days until Sweden just trying not to get fired before then. Tomorrow is the day Home and Garden will call me and let me know that I've won this years 3.5 million dollar dream home in Tyler, TX, along with the new Chevy Denali (sp?) and the $250,000 in cash. I can't wait to move in. I mean I entered like 10 times, so I'm a total shoo-in.

This'll be like the time I won an enormous stuffed animal from the dentist named Kiki. One time, I said to my brother, "Let's play beat the Kiki! I get the stick!" and took one swing at the enormous koala bear with the dowel rod we used to protect us from someone opening our bedroom window. One swing and the eye broke in half and rolled away. I was so upset. I didn't hit a baseball in 4 seasons, but I can crack an eyeball with a dowel rod in one try.

Why is it that tomorrow is spelled t-o-m-o-r-r-o-w but I abbreviate it as "tomm?"

I think I've decided to get a tattoo. Which I probably shouldn't tell you all because my brother will read and tell my mother and she will go absolutely ape-shit. But as of yet, I don't know what I want or where. So I'll entertain your suggestions, as long as your suggestions entertain me.

Thanks for all the great comments on my new layout, bitches! *makes masturbatorial motion*

:::: Level 10

Saturday, March 12, 2005

So I ended up going out and getting hammered tonight. I share this with you only to inform you that the update of my webpage got severely interrupted by said drinking. I won't have a chance to fix it just yet because I am going to Oklahoma City to meet my new niece as soon as I wake up tomorrow (afternoon).

Everything still works even if it looks jacked. I promise to fix it as soon as I am back/sober. Thank you for your understanding. This is the shortest post ever.

I’m an uncle! (still)

Friday, March 11, 2005

I am twice the uncle I was yesterday morning. My second niece, Ann Marie, was born yesterday evening around 5:30pm. Maybe I should call her my "youngest" niece instead of my "second" niece. I really don't want to set up a hierarchy until they are old enough to do gymastics and spelling bees and such.

This is my sister's first baby. From what I hear all are doing well, and she is happy and healthy with 10 fingers, 10 toes, and a full head of black hair.

Black hair?! That's right. This kid is not a F■■■■. I am leaving bright and early tomorrow morning to go meet Ann Marie. Living equidistant from your two child-having siblings has its advantages. I need to go down and see my brother and Kaylyn (and Rachel) soon. Maybe I'll do that just as soon as I get back from Sweden.

So that means no craziness for me tonight. It gives me a convenient excuse to stay home and work on my new layout, which I would have done anyway, but now people won't judge me as harshly. I'm hoping to finish it tonight, but there's a chance I won't. Then I'll be in OKC all day tomorrow possibly returning tomorrow night to attend a very 1Miles birthday celebration. We'll see how it pans out. Hope you kids have a good weekend!

Children work in factories

Sunday, March 6, 2005

Last night was such a hoot. I tell ya. It was the official opening of the spring party season hosted by Brian and Jarrod. As double duty, Jarrod was also celebrating a birthday, so happy birthday to him! I began the evening by attending a party in Addison Circle that I had been "invited" to via a myspace.com bulletin board message from some guy named Dan Paul. It's so unlike me, but it was an art showing/party and it was right here. So I went and checked it out. Lindsay accompanied me. There was some cool shit there. One guy had a painting of Ziggy Stardust that was unreal. If it hadn't have been 650 dollars I would have bought it. I still might.

From there I went to the birthday party downtown. We drank, we laughed, we went to the bars. We drank more. I was just a shade light of shitcanned by the end of the night. I had a little bit of trouble walking but not too much. Ryan and I bought hotdogs from a street vendor who took credit cards. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Cheese and rice. Except he didn't have any rice.

This morning we eventually woke up. I felt/looked terrible. But we went to brunch with Adam. They have free mimosas with brunch. Shut up, I drank like 12. A good buzz sure took the edge off my hangover. I most definitely came home and went to bed.

Are you sitting down? It's been a while since I've said this, but ... some very exciting things are happening at SideshoViD.com and it's about fucking time. Expect an all new design sometime within the next week.

And lastly, have any of you ever been to The Perry Bible Fellowship's website? Click there to read some of the most hilarious comics you couldn't possibly imagine. This guy is my own personal cheese and rice. There is one cartoon (that was too wide for me to post here without messing up my columns) where the kid is wearing a shirt that says "UNICORN POWER." I was jealous of it, so I got on eBay to find myself my own unicorn shirt. That's what this picture is. It should be shipping tomorrow and I am way, way too excited.

Hope you all had a fab weekend. Take 'er easy, and if she's easy, take 'er twice. Laaaaaaate.

Whataengineer

Friday, March 4, 2005

This morning I was having a hard time getting anything done at work. My cubicle is smack dab in the middle of the office hustle and bustle. I have several high talkers in my immediate vicinity, people who check their voicemail on speaker phone, innumerable cell phones ringing with a myriad of different tones and diddies, and then on top of all that is the drone of business going on. The only way I can really concentrate on what I'm doing is to wear my headphones, but then I'm listening to music and that doesn't really help me program much either.

So I decided I would work at a library for the afternoon. First, I got a quick lunch at Whataburger. The guy who carries around the tray and asks you if you want more ketchup noticed my Aggie ring and asked about it. I told him what it was and he said, "Oh, I got an engineering degree. I was in the military for a while so I was 27 when I finally got my degree. I was working for WorldCom when we all got laid off. I was in California then and just moved here." I told him I worked as an engineer and he inquired if we were hiring. I told him we were always taking applications. You know, I learned something today from this man. I always look down on the help, but you never know their story. You really can't judge a book by its cover. Then again, this guy looked like a dirty, dirty liar.

Engineers don't work at Whataburger.

When I finally arrived at the library, I got down to business. I finally got a chance to familiarize myself with a new project properly by reading all the material I had and listing out what all I needed to program. Very productive. When I got to a stopping point, I let my eyes wander and ended up reading books for a while. There was a book called How to Read a Book. I wanted to go sit in a high traffic area and hold it upside down with my brow furrowed and see how many people might stop and help.

So once the productivity slipped, I decided to finish out the day at home, and that's where you find me now. I just thought I'd take a quick break to let you all know the 411. I hope you all enjoy your Freitag. You're either in or you're out. Auf Wiedersehen.

I had the most clever title 3 hours ago

Tuesday, March 1, 2005

I can count on one finger the number of times that I have updated my webpage drunk. For those of you a little slow on the uptake, that means that I've only done this once before. Kudos to anybody who can tell me the date of that entry. I say "kudos to anybody" but really all I mean is "kudos to Chevy" because she's the only one who would actually take the time to ascertain said information.

I went to happy hour tonight with Andy. We drank a lot of beer. I smoked a lot of cigarettes. I have got to quit smoking more often because nothing makes a cigarette taste better than the seasoning of unrequited lust. Oh my god it was delicious. My apartment aroma is making me wet at the moment because Andy is cooking us a couple of ribeyes while I sip red wine. Having a roommate has its perks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LESLIE. I am so random. Being drunk is like riding a bicycle. You never forget how much you need to get drunk ... and you never forget how much you want to get drunk. *takes sip of cheap red wine*

It's not just the title that used to be clever. I had at least 6 awesome stories to tell you all before I went to happy hour. One of them I remember was commentary on how good my mood was because I wasn't drinking. "It's impossible to be completely happy while ingesting that much of something called a depressant," I was going to say. But that was before the utter ecstacy I feel right now having had like 8 beers. YAY!

I love you all and I wish you could be as happy as I am right now. Oh shit, I was going to catalogue the results of Febrehabruary. That's right. I lost 11 pounds. 11 fucking pounds of alcoholic weight. I look good, I feel good ... I am good, g*d damnit. I love you all immensely. More info when I sober up (which may be never) HAAAAAAAAAAAA

Day 27: One more day to go

Sunday, February 27, 2005

I went out again last night despite vowing that I never would. Once again, I was rather annoyed by the drunk people and left early. You don't have to be drunk to have fun in a club, but I firmly believe you need a couple drinks just to take the edge off of what is an overwhelmingly obnoxious situation. I mean, look at it objectively. It's dimly lit except for a few neon and strobe lights, the music is so loud that conversation is virtually impossible, and people are packed in and stumbling over each other. You're going to want to have a few beers if you're going to last the whole night.

The thought had occured to me after Febrehabruary that I might invent Marehabch and Aprehabil. By the time I hit May, I would have no choice but to resume drinking until Septemberehab, and that's just not clever. Even though Febrehabruary was a great success and one of the best months of my life (I'll have a final tally for you when it's truly over) I don't feel the need to repeat it immediately. This could become a yearly ritual for me, though. If I've learned anything from a month of sobriety, and I like to think that I haven't, it's that drinking isn't bad or wrong, but moderation is key. In this spirit, I bought myself a nice bottle of wine to drink on Tuesday. I'm fucking retarded.

I don't think I ever announced this, but I am incorporating wine bottles into the decoration of my kitchen. If any of you drink wine often, or just happen to have an occasional bottle lying around, save it for me because I could use about 20 empty bottles, and that will take me DAYS to accumulate. Thanks.

Well, I think its just about time for me to go cook a dry chicken breast while living vicariously through Contessa With Her Shoes Off. Then I'll drink a few gallons of water so I can sweat it out in yoga. I am so v. busy and important. Check you skillets later.

Day 8: A much better day

Tuesday, February 8, 2005

This morning promised to put me in a fowl mood (quack! quack!) since I had to get up at the ass crack of dawn to go back to the pits of the ■■■ Airport. I have gotten rather surly about going on sites, so people know they damn well better be good and ready for me to be there before they ask me to go somewhere. If there is no power, or no communication lines run, then I can essentially do nothing. I could crawl up in the ceiling and run wires like Trey does ... but my jeans cost a lot more than his.

So I grudgingly obliged to be dragged back to what I have come to believe is my own personal hell under the veiled promises of EVERYTHING being wired. I was assured that the ONLY thing left to do was download my program and verify it. Pschah. I didn't believe it for a second. Sure enough, we get out there and power hasn't even been hooked up. To put a cherry on this clusterfuck, there were problems with the permits that might take two weeks to clear up. DFW can suck a nut.

So now I'm in a bad mood. I decided to try and apologize to myself for making me get up early and drag myself out to DFW with a taquito. So I left work and got a taquito and slowly enjoyed it. Luckily, I go pretty easy on me and decided to forgive myself. Soon after, it was time for lunch where I shoveled BBQ into my face like it was going out of style. Free Fried Pie Tuesdays in full effect, ya'll. I would tell you all a story about me, Michael McNeff, and fried pies, but it's much to long and will have to wait for another day. Anyway, since all pleasure in my life is now derived from food, I was thrilled when my mother called and asked me to go out to dinner with her since my dad was going to a Mavericks game. Score! Pan seared grouper with a citrus sauce and steamed vegetables at Fridays? Sign me up!

The real reason I'm so happy about all the good food that I ate is that when I went to go work out I weighed myself again and I lost another pound! w00t! That puts me at -3 from the starting gate. Things are looking up, kids. Oh, and also, my mom gave me my Valentine's Day present. It's her foot massager that she never uses, so I am now enjoying the most wonderful foot massage ever. All in all today was a good day. There were a few bumps here and there, and my mood has been erratic lately, but I'm doin alright.

Now, who wants some unflavored popsicles?!

Pumpkins and Poodles

Sunday, January 23, 2005

First things, first. Happy Birthday Ryan S■■■! So yay. We spent last night celebrating said birthday, which may be why I didn't wake up until 2pm today. Just a hunch. Ryan said that all he wanted was beer, pizza, and a few friends. So Sean, being the clever little devil that he is, organized a dinner down at the State and Allen Lounge consisting of discounted pizzas, domestics, and a whole slew of friends. It was a really nice time. After that we went to JRs for a smidge and then to S4.

When we went into S4, half of the No-Fun Room (aka the Non-Smoking Room) was all corded off with bouncers guarding the entrances. I thought maybe some big movie star like Richard Gere or Tom Cruise might be there. Turns out it was the cast of Bravo's new spin-off makeover show, Queer Girl for the Straight Lesbian. Mmmk, not only does this show not live up to its predecessor, but it takes dumpy nasty girls and has a lesbian give them fashion tips. It's just not good, sorry Bravo. And the cherry on top? It's been on the air for all of two weeks. I hardly think they needed to rope off an area for the 'stars.' If somebody hadn't pointed them out and had they not been sectioned off, I would have NEVER recognized them, and I've seen every episode.

That being said, we were standing in a group as they paraded into their "VIP" section, and I stood and watched each one walk by. That is, until the one I like walked by, so I stuck my hand out and introduced myself to him. I don't remember his name. Don't care. But he did say it was nice to meet me. You can see here in the artist's depiction of the scene what happened. I'm such a celebrity magnet its, like, not even funny.

The reason I am online is because I brought my work computer home for the weekend. I'm probably going to get in trouble for chatting and checking email and stuff on it. Then again, who am I kidding, I could burn down a building and get a slap on the wrist. This week I have to go out to ■■■ ■■■■■■ for a few days to install some controllers I programmed. I despise wearing a hard hat, but at least on this job site I get a bright orange vest as well. Ugh. The things I do for money. Speaking of money, I wonder if I have any left... Later skanks.

I’m watching Cocktail right now. Rawk!

Monday, December 13, 2004

What a week. What a weekend. What a time to be alive! This weekend I made the trek to College Station once again to celebrate Thanksgiving as well as Allison's graduation and bon voyage as she prepares to move to Australia. On the way down, I called Brandon to see how he was doing and he convinced me to swing through Austin and pick him up. That was a fuck load of driving in one weekend (with the traffic jams, I was in the car for 12.5 total hours this weekend). But, it was worth it to get to hang out with Brandon.

We arrived in CS on Friday around 10 and got ready to go out to Halo. Good times, good times. I had a completely empty stomach so I was trying to take it easy, which eventually didn't happen, but I did behave for an uncharacteristically long time. The next day we joined Allison as soon as the hangovers subsided and went to buy last minute supplies and a keg. I dropped even more money this weekend. Shit. Finances are in a dire situation. Dire meaning that I can't buy new jeans tomorrow if I want everyone to have a X-mas present, not dire I can't pay the rent. Even so, my lifestyle is compromised.

The party was a raging success, if I don't mind saying. We did a Trash Can Grab. This was new to me. We had a trash can full of ice and water and everyone brought a little something to throw into the trash can. Then you had to reach into the black abyss and drink whatever random alcohol you pulled out. At first, I thought our alcohol supply, which involved a plethora of wine from dinner, a keg, and the trashcan, was overkill, but we ended up drinking all of it. Thank you, thank you, thank you to Allison for being a most wonderful host, and thanks again to Dustin and Trey for putting me up for the weekend.

In other news HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY, #27!!!!1! Our little David27 is growing up, chronologically at least. This past Saturday, Dec. 11 was his 20th birthday. He's not a teenager any more. Congrats on surviving two decades. Mwah!

This week I have a Secret Santa party at Ryan S■■■'s and a ■■■■■ ■■■■■ office party with Ryan S■■■. Then I'm not doing anything. Nor am I ever going out of town again. If you ever want to see me again you'll have to come to Addison.

I hope I don't piss any one off with this next comment, but I can't help but think about everyone taking finals right now... and how stressed out they must be, and how tired, and overworked, and sick of it, and just wanting to be done. And then I kick back, stretch out, open another beer, and sigh audibly. It is so nice to not be in school. I can't believe it's been six months since graduation. Time sure flies when you're skipping work. Peace out, sluts!

Happy Bday, Thommi, Krystal’s Sucks!

Wednesday, December 1, 2004

About three weeks ago they put a Krystal Burger near my apartment. Since then, the lines to eat inside have wrapped around the interior of the restaurant repeatedly until it was solid people. The drive-thru line went so far beyond wrapping around the building that the entrance to join the line was about 2 blocks away from the restaurant. Talk about your word of mouth! You couldn't get this shit for any less than a 2 hour wait. I decided to wait until the lines died down to go try it. It is on the way to my gym, so I was able to monitor the popularity every single night when I work out ... every single night.

Tonight on the way home, I noticed there was no line inside, so a few evasive maneuvers through traffic later, I was ordering my Krystal Burger Combo #1. Four hamburgers, fries, and a drink. In case any of you aren't from up north (or Addison) and don't know what Krystal burgers are, they are tiny little hamburgers that you're supposed to eat a bunch of at once. Okay, now the verdict.

*cue that People's Court theme song*

These burgers made me want to technicolor yawn ... I'm talkin liquid laugh all over the table. They were GROSS! Fuck! Don't waste your time on this shit. These hamburger patties make McDonalds patties look like t-bone fucking steaks. I did not take the time to measure them, but I would estimate their thickness at around half of a centimeter. And to top it all off, they weren't even good. There was more onion and pickle than meat. Of course, that's no surprise when you make your burgers out of beef stationary. In short: KRYSTAL BURGERS SUCK!

Next order of business... HAPPY 21ST FUCKING BIRTHDAY, THOMMI!!1!!1 Yay! Thommi is a real boy! Now when we hang out we can both indulge equally in that sweet, sweet elixer of life called alcohol. I'm going to go to College Station this weekend with Sean W■■■■ to take Thommi out to celebrate. Friday I'm taking Sean to Halo but Saturday, we're gonna pick up Thommi and go out to Northgate. Nothing too ornate or elaborate, but should be fun nonetheless.

Last item of business... AllieD just told me a little story about her education major friend, Jennifer. The AllieD Times describes her as "smart and beautiful and witty." The first time Jennifer read my webpage, she decided she was in love with me, despite us having never met. The only things she really knows about me are what I post online and what AllieD has told her, which has been extensive, granted. She sent this picture to AllieD to show how she pictures me.

AllieD, we need to talk about what you've been telling this girl.

How many drunks does it take to play 3-Man?

Monday, November 22, 2004

This weekend Ryan H■■■■ came into town with his new girlfriend, Paula, her brother, Michael, and his girlfriend, Amanda. We were planning on playing 3-Man on account of the good memories dredged up by my last post, but it ended up being annoyingly difficult to figure out the rules, so we opted for the old standby, Suits. As an added bonus, our dear friend Princess called me early Saturday afternoon to talk when I managed to convince him to make the drive to Dallas to hang out. My first real company!

I spent all night Friday making sure my place would be presentable when everyone arrived. It was no small feat. Despite the rainstorm, Ryan and the gang showed up a little after 8:00 and we got some Pei Wei for dinner. Princess took a detour through Shreveport to get to Addison so he showed up a little later once the drinking had already commenced. We tore through a couple of cases of beer between us all. During the course of the night, I got a new welcome mat, compliments of one of my guests and one of my neighbors. By the morning they had taken their mat back. Fucking selfish bitches. I hate my neighbors now.

The next morning, Princess and I spent a whole day shopping. We were all over the metroplex seeking out the coolest shops. We didn't buy any clothes but we both added about 100 items to our wanted lists. Princess found a really cool coat that he needs 300 dollars for, and a pair of jeans that he needs 120 for. These are the most important items. I found an entire store that I need 10,000 dollars to clean out, but I have put a freeze on my wardrobe supplements until I get my apartment in working order. That's one thing this non-smoking thing is about. I will save roughly 20 bucks a week being smoke-free, which could add up to a few extras around the apartment.

This week I only have to work until Wednesday, and since no one is in the office, trust me when I say, I won't be working much. Rawk! I left so early today. But in my defense, it was raining, and we all know I don't like the rain. Then it's time for a five day weekend that includes A Very H■■■■■■ Thanksgiving, the Ryan Cabrera concert con Thommi, an appointment at MAC, and a lot of time spent with Kaylyn, the baby. Hurrah!

Footnote: Owen's webpage just had me in stitches. His posts have gotten increasingly better this semester and this one about McDonald's and Microsoft may just take the cake. Plus, my sexy 'stache pics are on the front: http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=noezoom.

College Station on my mind

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

My trip to College Station was a rousing success. I saw so many people that I haven't seen in forever. I met a bunch of new people too. And somewhere in the middle of those two experiences ... I met lots of people that I've known for years but never bothered to remember -- namely, ALL of Keiff's female friends. The drive down was a b-last. It's been so long since team Gill 'n Al have made a road trip. We rawked out the whole way. Trying to describe it in words will only fall short, but I'll just say that I almost passed out from singing the Moulin Rouge soundtrack too loud.

I don't want to go into too much narration about my weekend, but I did take a shower at Jason's, stop off at Dustin and Trey's, see Marshall at Hoblob (his hair is so hot now), check out Tommy's ultra chic downtown loft, visit Josh and Nelly, and attend Burns' and Lauren's ring dunking party. Burns was pretty optimistic about beating my modest 65 second mark, but he fell quite short. I think he came in at 94, which I say assuming he will correct me if I'm wrong. Lauren took several minutes, but I was still proud of her for finishing decently for a girl. Of course, chugging beer is what college ... nay, life ... is all about, but I suppose some congratulations are in order for even attaining the coveted Aggie Ring. So congrats, children, congrats.

After drinking all the free beer we could, Dustin, Trey, Jason, Tommy and I all ventured over to Halo. I saw so many people there. It was way too fun. I drank myself retarded, attempted to dance, had many conversations that are not catalogued in my ever decreasing memory banks. This was a fantastic trip to CS, I accomplished all of my goals of alcoholism.

In other exciting news, Allison got herself a job for when she graduates in December. She's been interning at HP for a while now and has decided to further that career professionally. The exciting part? She's been hired in Sydney fucking Australia. How awesome is that?! Major congrats to her! I am already saving up for my plane ticket to go visit her. Who knows ... if I like it there, I could always transfer to Sydney. Our three world headquarters are Sydney, Australia, Malmo, Sweden, and Carrollton, Texas (obviously). I'm way excited for her, even though it's a little depressing that she'll be on the other side of the world by the end of January. So our party on December 11th in College Station that you're all clearing your calendars for will now be a Thanksgiving/Graduation/Bon Voyage. Huzzah!

And finally, I've been inundated with the word 'insurgent' since this whole Fallujah thing, in conjunction with my NPR habit, started. I finally decided to look it up and find out what it actually means.
in·sur·gent (n-sûrjnt) adj. --
1. Rising in revolt against established authority, especially a government.
2. Rebelling against the leadership of a political party.

Turns out, I'm an insurgent.

The blog of a thousand topics

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

I have about a thousand things I want to talk about, we'll see how many of them stick in my memory by the time I really get into blogging mode. First off, I spent the weekend chillin in the OC ... the OKC, that is. I actually had a good time. On Saturday and Sunday, my impregnito sister and I painted her nursery. Pink on the walls, green on the ceiling. It was so, so cute. Now I'm rarin' to paint my apartment. Who wants to help? Prior to this, on Friday night, we went bowling.

I was bowling in Oklahoma on a Friday night.

It ended up being really fun though. My sister's husband made the comment, "There's no way I'm going to lose to my pregnant wife and a gay guy." So I annihilated him. He didn't know that I spent the better part of high school bowling obsessively, and then transferred that hobby to college with Kevin. By the end of the night, he had admitted defeat and encouraged me to join a gay bowling league, because I would be "the man" there. I'm not sure what the difference is between a gay bowling league and a bowling league. I guess we would use pink balls?

Speaking of Kevin, he's not going to be able to join me in College Station this weekend. What a fucking bummer. I was so stoked. I mean, I still am because I get to see Burns take longer than 65 seconds to chug a pitcher of beer and get shitcanned with the whole crew, but still... everyone knew I was just going to see Kevin. I'm actually going to drive down on Saturday morning, and give Allison a ride back.

Speaking of Allison, we are planning a Thanksgiving to end all Thanksgivings. The date we decided on is December 11th. The location: Allison's house in College Station. I am planning a detailed blog about it, but had too much to say to devote this entry to that. Look for details in the future, but for g*d's sake clear your fucking calendars. This is going to the put the last one to shame!

And finally, my new hobby is listening to NPR (National Public Radio). I feel like I'm already smarter for doing this. Many thanks to my brother who originally suggested it to me when I told him how annoyed I was with radio DJs and commercials. Today they were talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger possibly running for president. Of course, he's not a natural born citizen, so the constitution would have to be amended. We all know Bush has no problem amending it. They made a good argument that someone who has been in the country for 20+ years, obtained citizenship, understands the political system, and has obtained public office should be allowed to run for president. And Arnold was talking about how everything is more global these days so it makes sense. And I agree. Hell, at least he speaks two languages ... Bush doesn't even speak one.

Even though Arnie is a Republickin, he is not conservative on issues that educated people aren't conservative on -- stem cell research, gay marriage, abortion, to name a few. Conservative X-tian Republickins would fuckin hate him. But maybe there's enough political momentum behind the Republickins to get him in the White House. To me, this would present a win/win situation in 4 years. Either someone that agrees with me on issues I find important would be elected, or the Democratic party would win, and maybe even put Hillary in the White House, which would rawk. People who argue against this amendment say that the Constitution shouldn't be viewed as a totally maleable document, and certainly should never be amended with a certain individual in mind. One guy said go ahead and make the amendment but say that it doesn't take effect for 20 years. He makes a good point. Just thought I'd give my readers something to discuss at their next cocktail party.

Items of interest, just to recap: OKC was fun, I kick ass at bowling, I need help painting my apartment, College Station this Saturday, Thanksgiving December 11, listen to NPR and tell me what you think about the President-inator (lame). Peace out, sluts!

14 Comments

Nobody likes a bush

Thursday, November 4, 2004

Way to go, "Amer-ca," you really did it this time. My first go at American democracy has been met with sweeping defeat ... Bush was elected for the first time to serve his second term, and the Republickins have increased their influence in both the House and the Senate. So far, in the first two days of Bushito's second term, nothing of note has changed. Maybe it's because Jorge is on vacation at Camp David (big shocker there). I think if this trend of nothing changing or happening continues, that would be the best case scenario for the next four years. Any changes that Bush makes -- fiscal, political, legal, constitutional, moral, environmental, global, you-name-it-al, will certainly be a major step backward that will take time in the future to correct.

I think it's shrewd of him to reach out to Kerry supporters and call for a newfound unity in the country. Just about as shrewd as it was to couple votes on banning gay marriage to call out the evangelical voters in important state. Oh, that reminds me... to those voters who elected to ban gay marriage in those 11 states: Fuck you too!

Okay, after this picture, I'm done making commentary. I had an away message today that said something to the effect of, "What do you think? Canada or Australia?" It was by far the most responded to away message I've ever had. Looks like a lot of us are joining the hypothetical exodus. Keith gave the best arguments for Australia including cold Canadian weathers, fat Canadians, hot Australians, tanning, and American booze and cigarettes. True, we can get American booze and cigarettes in America, but we can also get them in Australia. I'm convinced! Edward sent me a link to this picture. I went ahead and linked back to the website where I stole it from just to be nice. Not that all of you wouldn't immediately recognize that I didn't make it since jebus is capitalized.

Tomorrow I'm going to the most worthless state in the union: Oklahoma! My sister is all impregnito and wants me to visit her. I've been promising for a long time that I would so I finally have to make good on it. I have to take my mom's car too so I can pick up a treadmill for my parents. I really don't like driving any car other than my own, especially on road trips, so I resisted the idea. My mom said, "Why? Because you can't smoke in my car?" and my response was, "Fuck, I didn't even think of that. Fuck." It should be a fun time though, my sister is pretty cool. Then next weekend its off to College Station to see Burns and Lauren dunk their rings. Plus, Kevin will be there! Yay! Later sluts, now go sit in the corner and think about what you've done ... for the next four years.

A plea to Beltline drivers

Friday, October 29, 2004

Beltline is the road here in Addison/Carrollton that I live/work on. Every day I drive its length once in the morning and once in the evening ... okay ... afternoon. I am the most well tempered driver that I know, but frankly, dear viewers, the way people drive on Beltline is starting to get to me. The way I see it, there are only three kinds of drivers on this road.

Unconcerned With The Speed Limit
This person does not care what the speed limit is on the road, they are not in a hurry. Despite the 40 mph speed limit, they choose to go anywhere from 30 to 20 mph, even when no cars are in front of them. I'd say this is the majority of Beltline drivers. I admire their lackadaisical approach to the passage of time, but when you're already 40 minutes late to work, they can be a bit frustrating.

In The Wrong Lane
Despite their best efforts, these drivers simply cannot get into the correct lane. If they're turning right, they stay in the left lane as long as possible. This requires them to make evasive maneuvers to get into the lane they need to be in, often decreasing their speed well below that of Unconcerned With The Speed Limit to get behind them. I don't have to tell you that this only complicates the problem.

Wife In Labor
Whenever someone is being a jackass, going too fast, and swerving between lanes, I always try to be understanding. I generally assume that their wife is in the passenger seat going into labor and they need to get to the hospital (or sometimes the mall or movie theater) as fast as possible. Residents of Addison must be fuckin like rabbits because there are tons of people driving around with wives in labor. It's not exactly easy for them with our other two personality types, but somehow they dangerously manage.

So this is my plea to anyone who drives on Beltline. Go the fucking speed limit and stay in the lane you need to be in and we can all get where we're going faster. While I was stuck in traffic, I was composing this blog in my head, so you'll have to bear with it's length. I was only going to talk about drivers until I heard a radio ad for free booze tonight. I got so excited. Until they went "BOO! There's one free!" Fuck me, they meant free 'boo's. Give me a break. Don't joke about free booze.

Then that reminded me of when those bible thumping dumb fucks in the dorm would post signs that said, "FREE BEER! Now that we've got your attention, come to bible study." It's just not cool. The bible, I mean.

Then that reminded me of when we had a couch burning at the dorm. Somebody found a loveseat and innocuously stored it outside the dorm during the day. Then around midnight Operation Hot Pocket torched that shit. The next day Allison and I hung up signs on all the doors that said, "Has anybody seen my couch? It was a brown loveseat. I left it outside the dorm last night." It was hilarious. Then that reminded me of when Allison and I hung signs in the MSC on the doors of the locked bathrooms that said, "Door not working properly. Push HARD!!!" That was even funnier.

Today on my way into work, I found two dollar bills laying on the ground. Chalk it up to good luck, I thought to myself. Not an hour after sitting down at my desk, a guy came by and gave me a check for 20 bucks to buy a Thanksgiving turkey -- a gift from the company. Score! Like an hour later, I find out that I got a bonus check for the third quarter. Big score! I was feeling so lucky that I bought like 5 scratch off tickets trying to capitalize on my newfound diety status. I lost on all of them. Oh well, I still came out ahead.

And that concludes my predetermined blog material. Thanks for reading, you have nots!

214-XXX-XXXX

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

I am truly a resident of Dallas now. Today, I changed my cell phone number to a Dallas area code. While I don't really want to give it out on my webpage, I will tell you that the area code is now 214. Before you scoff at my generosity, consider this: I just eliminated 9,990,000,000 possibilities for you.

Not that any of this really matters. The other day I downgraded my cell phone plan after I realized I wasn't using all of the minutes I was paying for. On my original plan, I was paying for 600 anytime minutes a month. So far this month... I have used 19.

I think I may shave soon. Possibly tonight. Without going into too much detail, I have developed an uncontrollably runny nose, and TRUST ME, having a beard doesn't help matters one bit. I was gonna wait til I got my haircut, but the guy who said he would cut my hair never called me back, and now I changed my number. I don't want to harass him, but I might have to call again.

Despite having bought the blue 2000 Flushes for my toilet, every time I come home, the water in the bowl is red. I flush it and it's blue. I see it a few hours later, and it's red. I cannot fathom how this is possible, but during my investigations, I have effectively tinted my hand blue... seemingly permanently.

And the final thought of the day: I hate buying cigarettes when I'm drunk because I slur the word 'Marlboro' when I'm dead sober.

Sam’s Boat!

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Holy fuck am I ever hungover. Last night was so awesome. So I video taped this wedding, right. My former daycare boss, Mary Ann, had asked me if I would. Her nephew Randy was getting married and they didn't want to spend the money on a real videographer, so they got the next best thing -- me! It actually ended up being really fun. I know both of Mary Ann's daughters pretty well so I kind of hung around them. But I was surprised how many people I knew, seeing as how it wasn't my family or anything. But Randy was marrying Heather, who is Dawn's sister and Dawn used to teach at the daycare.

There were three kids there that went to the daycare I worked at. I used to teach them swimming lessons, show them how to color outside the lines and play John Denver songs for them on the guitar. I hadn't seen any of them since they were 5 years old and they're all 10 or 11 now kickin ass in the 5th grade. Although in reality, only the brother of the groom, Chance, is even remotely cool. It took him a while to remember who I was, but he figured it out. He was dreadfully bored at the reception since he had decided not to drink so I was trying to help him out with things to do. First, I made him drink 10 glasses of water as fast as he could and build a pyramid with the empty glasses. Once he had accomplished that, I told him to get the disposable camera off of every table and waste the remaining pictures on people he didn't know. And finally, when I had to leave, I put him in charge of the video camera. Gosh, Mr. David is the coolest.

I ended up leaving the reception and meeting PlanoJay, the bartender, at BJ's Brewhouse. Had a red beer. Yum. Went across the street to meet up with his co-worker, Chad. Yum. I ordered like 3 pitchers on my tab, but I never paid. Go figure. Keith met me out there and I drunkenly introduced him to some hoes I'd been entertaining for a while. The drive home was interesting. It was literally two blocks, so no harm was done, but had it been any farther, it could have been trouble. The really interesting part was when I got back to my apartment, the streets were all but blocked with fire trucks. Hmmm. So I maneuvered around them and parked in the garage across the street from my building. Now, bear with me because this memory is hazy, but walking into my building I remember walking through smoke. And combined with the multiple fire engines this would have alarmed some people, but not me. I blissfully waited for the elevator amongst the clouds of smoke, went upstairs and went to sleep. I really hope the building didn't burn down, but I'm still alive so things are boding well.

I woke up this morning to find my away message saying, "This night was awesome... g'night" which are my sentiments exactly. Well, wait, I wrote them, so yeah. Today I'm going to Kaylyn's baptism. Pray for me that I don't look completely hungover. Peace!

I live in Addison now.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Big news, kids. I am officially an independently functioning member of society. This little bird has flexed his wings and gone out on his own. Granted, everything in my apartment was donated by my parents, but we'll ignore that fact from here on out. I will show you pictures of my apartment as soon as it is in a presentable condition. I moved in on Sunday instead of Saturday because it was raining too hard. Not to say it didn't rain all day Sunday, but we got it done. There's still a few things back in Plano that I need to go get, but there's no rush there.

In other news, I haven't had a haircut in many, many months, nor have I shaved in many, many weeks. Yes, I have a beard ... and this time, her name isn't Allison. Pa-zzzing! I'm not really sure how I feel about the look, but I'm going with it. I had originally dedicated myself to no haircuts before 2005, but that may have changed. Marc and I went over to his friend Chad's apartment last night. Chad and his friendgirl work at Toni and Guy and were watching videos about how to give fucking badass haircuts. I can maybe get a really badass free haircut. That's what I'm planning on doing. I mean like woah, badass haircut.

On the horizon is lots of tidying up around the apartment. I might have a housewarming get together sometime in late November. Nobody from College Station will attend, so none of you are invited. Unless you want to come, then you are. Something more anecdotal to follow. Peace out.

9 Comments

Moving day has finally come … almost

Saturday, October 9, 2004

Fine. I'll post. If I had a nickel for every time Ryan H■■■■ had left me a comment complaining about the frequency of my blogs ... well, I'd have like 30 cents, which really isn't a lot of money. I doubt I'd even make the hypothetical benefactor pay me that 30 cents, but still, to illustrate my point, that is a lot of times to make those comments. I haven't posted lately, but I have had some awesome ideas for new posts. I've since forgotten them all, but believe me, they would have been hilarious.

Today was supposed to be my moving day, but time conflicts have pushed that back until tomorrow. I am still going to take some of my stuff over there today but the furniture doesn't go until tomorrow. Which means you fuckers don't get to see it until at least tomorrow. But knowing me, it'll be more like next week.

My co-, Trey, is going to take care of moving me. I don't think I ever explained this on here. We have had a pool table in our garage for a long time. I think the last time it was used was like 5 years ago. Trey plays pool 6 nights out of the week in various leagues, tournaments, and pool halls. He has always wanted a pool table but couldn't ever afford one. The only thing we use our pool table for is to play ping pong on top of it like once a year. So I told my dad I would buy him a really nice, brand new ping pong table in exchange for that ratty old pool table we don't even use. I will, in turn, give that to Trey who will then enlist the help of his son and friends, all of the people who would use his new pool table. And in the end, I get more man power, with no time restrictions, for less money. It's what you call a win/win/win/win situation.

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick." I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D". I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary. This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... It's dirty.

Those are all Mitch Hedberg quotes, you can read more by clicking his name. I saw him and Stephen Lynch last weekend in Austin. Three words: hi-larious. I liked Mitch a lot better, but that is not to say that Stephen Lynch wasn't brilliant in his lyrics and guitar stylings. That paragraph above is pretty much how the show went. Mitch comes on stage drunk, stumbles a little, leans forward over the table where his sheets of paper with jokes written on them are, his hair falls forward over his face and he proceeds to read on after the other. I think we saw his face once. It's like he went to a school for how to become a comedian and then did the exact opposite. I'm always impressed when comedians with long stand-up acts can tie it all together, or use recurring jokes. Mitch did none of this. Didn't even try. I have a lot of respect for that. It was probably 2 of the 50 funniest hours of my life. Didn't get to go out because Stinky Pants got too drunk, but did manage to drink a whole lot (just not at breakfast).

I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do today besides move. I might go see Scott Mechlowicz's new movie, Mean Creek. I'm pretty sure it's out. And he's so dreamy. My internet will be up and running Monday in the apartment, so don't expect another post before then. But do keep checking back hourly just in case I post from home. Hey Ryan, happy now, fucker?

Buddy Commentary

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

I certainly couldn't go a week without blogging. I haven't done that in ages. Time's a little tight right now because it's midnight and I'm gonna be a wreck at work tomorrow. Big news! I worked 8 hours today. Like actually produced real programming that will be used in a real project for 8 hours. And I'm gonna do it again tomorrow. Things are looking up. So the job, while I still go on the public records as hating it, is looking up. My hair gets longer every day, it's quite shaggy. And I've decided to stop shaving yet again. If I ever hit puberty and the facial hair fills in, I'll let you all see it. My workout routine is going well. I am starting to regain my flexibility, and it feels so good to work out after work. I just need to find some goggles so I can start swimming again.

Went to College Station this weekend. It was pretty fun. Ryan H■■■■ drove and we went and watched Daniel dunk his ring (120 seconds). We "stayed" at Todd's even though I neglected to sleep there either night. We went to Margarita Rocks with Allison, Lindsay, her underage sisters, AllieD, Jennifer, and another pretty girl whose name escapes me. Then we went to a little keg get-together out in the country and Tommy showed up. I shocked Fucking Frank with my lighter. Everyone finally realized why I think it's so funny. From there we hit Northgate. Ran into Roper Joe, that was a blast from the past. Saw Brian and Justin. Owen walked over from campus and Keith was a horrible influence on me. Owen and I got split from the group and decided to take CARPOOL home but it was taking too fucking long so I woke up Marshall and made him take Owen home and then slept in his bed. I'm trying to drop every name possible. If I forgot you, leave a sassy comment and I'll insert you into the list and pretend like you were always there. It will be hilarious.

The next day I was hungover like the entire day. It sucked, but was pretty expected. Lunch with AllieD, back to sleep on Todd's couch the rest of the day. I woke up at 1:30am and had Dustin come pick me up and drank over at his place with Raul. Spent the night on the ground accidentally. Came home the next day. I breezed over a lot of details, obviously, but I had a really great time. Thanks for driving, Ryan!

Whenever I meet someone new, or get someone's screen name for the first time, I always ammend it with a buddy comment. I'm not sure if anyone else uses these but they're a g*dsend to me. I put people's names, jobs, home towns, physical descriptions ... anything I might want to know, or pretend I've remembered later. You should all be using them. Anyway, sometimes the descriptions of someone I've met for the first time, and later become close friends with, are a tad outdated. They tend to be on the insulting side from time to time, so I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by posting names, but one of them that I just edited the other day said, "that impudent little imp." If you want to know if you have a buddy comment, hit me up with an IM.

And in final news, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO TOPHER (known affectionately by some as Yale Boy). I meant to call him at midnight, but then I realized that I don't understand time zones, so I'd better just call him when he gets out of class tomorrow. But this is my proof that I've been thinking about him and did not forget. (And no, I didn't use a buddy comment to remember.) I love you, kid, have a wonderful birthday, a kick@ss summer, and stay cool.

Pride ‘n stuff

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Do you ever just have too much to say? So much so that you don't feel like writing it down. That's what happened to me this past weekend. I decided to just sit on my stories for a while, so details that once seemed monumental are now rather trivial. It will make my blog shorter, and the stories more compact.

First things first. My brothers Stephen and Michael, from Houston and Sacramento, respectively, both visited. Their wives came as well. Stephen brought Kaylyn around so Michael could meet her, to avoid having to introduce himself to her on her 13th birthday. I just loved this picture. I assure you, she was well nutured and attended to all weekend, but this picture is so something my fam would do. 'Ahh, just prop her up, she'll be alright.' It was cute though. It was really good to see everyone that came to dinner on Friday night. I supplied the dessert -- peach cobbler from Marshall's BBQ. Oh man, is it ever good. I made everyone try it, even if they didn't want to. I also passed around my shock lighter. That was some good entertainment there. By the end of the night, we had 11 people around the table holding hands, while Stephen and I grabbed the lighter simultaneously. Everyone around the circle felt the shock. It was hilarious.

That night I went out to the bars, but wasn't really having much fun. Ryan S■■■ and I decided to just go back to his place and go to sleep. When we got there, however, I coerced him into having one drink before bed. Which turned into two ... then three ... then we lost count. Much squeezy vodka was ingested despite Ryan's attempt to fall asleep. We watched Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, our favorite movie. Since the last time I saw it, I learned all the state capitals. So when they're at the reunion and Toby Dumbfuck asks them to name all the capitals and the Frinkazoid starts off with 'Albuquerque' I KNEW that was NOT the capital of New Mexico, because everyone knows that's Santa Fe. So we called everyone we knew to tell them that and even convinced Jason and Levi to come have a drink with us. We were beyond wasted, but obviously so much fun.

Saturday night I went out with Lil Jarrod. We had a blast. He is one of my new favs ... too funny. It was so damn crowded because this weekend was Pride. You could barely move and getting a drink was an impossibility. Ryan S■■■ got fed up with the crowds and left unannounced, so our plan to stay at his place overnight was soon liquidated. Bob and his brother and friends were in the bars too. Too good to see him! We had fun all night long and then set about trying to decide where to go. Even though I had like three Long Islands and about six beers, I was feeling adventurous so we turned toward Plano. But I can't go home because my parents set a big wake-up-the-neighborhood alarm when they go to bed. So we eventually ended up in Lewisville at Lil Jarrod's apartment. I slept on his couch and hope I didn't scare his sister in the morning. I don't think I did though because she was quite lovely and it was nice to meet her.

From there we went back downtown to the Pride Parade. I'm sorry, but I love Pride. I don't care how many people are too cool for school. It is my favorite holy day, second only to Thanksgiving. I fought for beads as best I could, and even caught some, a feat not to be overlooked. I got some sun -- so hot, saw tons of people I knew, hung out with Lil Jarrod and Marc, got to go to Hamburger Mary's for the first time and meet some new people. All in all it was a wonderful day. I was sunburned and exhausted when I got home, and since then I have been in the most inane training class at work. It is downright painful. But, persevere I will.

This weekend I am going to College Station with Ryan H■■■■. We are going to watch some ring dunkings. I'm not positive who it was but I wanna say Daniel. So I won't have my car but I will have my phone so call me and meet up with. Alright, sluts, I'm out of here. I gotta go work out because I'm morbidly obese. Peace!

Mercy me!

Thursday, September 16, 2004

I think happy hour may be the greatest invention of all time. Eat your heart out, Albert Einstein! I've endulged perhaps a bit too much in the 5:00 festivities this week, but it has been well worth it. The first night, I was coaxed out by Greg because Mercy Wine Bar in Addison was giving away a free glass of wine to all Addison Circle residents. Okay, I don't officially live there yet, but close enough. This place is fancy schmancy, I fell in love. And Greg is so fun and high class that the two just melded perfectly. We had some cheese that I didn't care for and a glass of red wine. It was tres chic, but we realized the flier said "Complimentary beverage." Emphasis on the singular nature of the offer. We drink to get drunk, so obviously we're not going to stop after one drink.

We walked next door to the Blue Mesa Grill and with a little prodding and hand holding I finally convinced Greg to go get a free quesadilla. We had a couple of Miller Light drafts, got sick of waiting on the dreadful service, threw some cash on the table and walked out. Never one to disappoint a loyal Sidesho-Viewer, I just felt I had to inform you all of how fun Greg is.

Luckily, I had already made plans for the following evening to meet up with Miles for a wine tasting Wednesday. You pay $35 and get to try six different wines. It was tres fab, tres chic, tres educational. We learned all kinds of great ways to describe a wine like 'earthy,' 'huge,' 'fruity,' 'acidic,' 'oakey,' 'peppery,' and 'smooth'. I may or may not have been able to come upon these flavors myself, but to date the most descriptive I've ever gotten with my wine was 'boxed.'

I think I learned a lot, though, and it was a total blast. We were admittedly novices to the game, but we weren't as bad as our new friend Kara who was sitting on the patio straight up reading a book titled Wine for Women. She was in from Minnesota on business and we struck up a conversation about wines. She ended up being the coolest chick ever. After our six wines were over and done, and she had finished what she'd ordered, the three of us split a bottle. A cabernet, if you must know. It was huge. So I drank a little more than I probably should have and opted to go back to Miles' apartment for a couple of glasses of water. I didn't know there would be entertainment too! Apparently our friend Miles is quite proficient on the piano and we shared a few tunes. We ran out of songs that we both knew eventually when I realized it was 12:30am. This is the latest and drunkest I have ever been on a school night. So I high tailed it home.

Boy did I pay for it this morning. I had to go through this training course that I've been in all week with a wine hangover. And I was operating on no sleep. I ended up sleeping away the afternoon and getting called out on it in front of everybody. Fuck. Oh well, luckily I couldn't care less. I have this feeling there were more stories for all of you, but they'll have to wait. It looks like I'm not going to Austin this weekend after all, but still want to wish Brandon a very, very, very happy 21st birthday. He turned 21 on Tuesday. I'm sorry I won't be able to attend his party, but I'll be down on Oct. 2nd for Mitch and Steve so it's all good. The moral of the story? Everybody, grab a friend and get out to Mercy Wine Bar in Addison.

And invite me, too.

Just a quick blog

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

Just a quick blog to inform you all of a couple goings-on in my life. I had to say goodbye to our dear friend, RyanC, on Sunday night. In general, I try to avoid posting anybody's full name without expressed written consent, but RyanC, otherwise known by his mother as Ryan Cloutier said that he wanted to be able to google himself. Since I am on the forefront of google technology (which Christine can vouch for), this will surely do the trick. Sidenote: My Google This! prank has TOTALLY worked. Somebody came to my site and searched for "Michael Phelps speedo." HA! Sucker! Anyway, Ryan Cloutier has moved back to Portland, Oregon (the capital of Oregon is Salem, btw). He's going to be a famous movie star and have his own page on IMDB.com ... kinda like Scott Mechlowicz. Scotty's new movie, Mean Creek, is coming out sometime soon, everybody be sure to see it. Anyway, I really didn't get a chance to hang out with Ryan Cloutier but a couple of times, but he was hella fun to go to New Amsterdam CoffeeHaus with and I will forever be in his debt for introducing me to Moudite.

In other news, I got to play with my niece today. She is such a crab apple. Never stops crying. So right before dinner tonight she went into a spell. My mom held her until she fell asleep while we all ate, so when we were done, I seized my opporitunity to hold her so my mom could grub. My niece was born on July 17th, for those of you just joining us. She slept in my arms for about 20 minutes, but I think she had grown accustomed to my mom's boob for a pillow and my collar bone just wasn't a suitable replacement so she eventually woke up. She started crying, but I bounced her around a little bit and she calmed down. She loves looking out the window so I sat in a rocking chair facing the windows in our family room and sat her up on my lap and hummed to her while she stared out the window. I was quite pleased with my performance, since so very little seems to calm her down for an extended period of time. It was really fun getting to see her. Makes me want a baby of my own, though rest assured, I am decidedly not willing to make one.

I just thought I'd throw a couple stories out there. I have too many backlogged, and I don't want them to go to waste. So I blogged before it turned midnight so I can blog again tomorrow. I've only blogged twice on the same day once in my illustrious career ... can anybody name that day? First person to answer correctly wins a free ticket to sit next to me and see Mitch Hedberg and Stephen Lynch at the Paramount in Austin on October 2nd. No joke. Catch you fuckers at a bad time?

... Also, name the movie that last line came from. Then you win. No joke.

TWIB: This Week in Booze

Sunday, August 29, 2004

I have had so many things to tell you all, but I have, regretably, been far too lazy to put them down in text. I've had a couple grand epiphanies. First, I met my new friend RyanC. He lives in Deep Ellum, an area of town I am completely unfamiliar with. When I told my mother that I was going to Deep Ellum she told me I was going to get shot. But then again, she tells me that about just about everywhere I go so I thought nothing of it. Well, after finally finding RyanC's loft, I parked and we walked to Angry Dog for dinner. On the way, we passed by an agitated truck full of African-American gentlemen angrily throwing their fists in the air and screaming, "Black Power!" I just knew that was a good sign that they would instantly take a liking to me. When they saw RyanC and I, they started yelling, "Fuck the white man. Fuck the facist caucasions. Fuck you, you fucking white devil, you caucasion homosexual facist!" Which, I naturally took offense to, as I am a practicing facist.

But they drove off without incident and we enjoyed a wonderful meal and then drove down to the New Amsterdam Coffeehaus. This is my new favorite bar in all of Dallas. It was all dimly lit with like 40 chandaliers and its all goth inside. I love it. The best part of it is that whatever you order, it comes in a glass specifically designed for that drink, usually provided by the vendor. Proper glassware is so important. RyanC introduced me to what may very well be my new favorite fancy beer -- Moudite. If you ever get a chance to try it, jumponit. My epiphany from this endeavor was that I am wasting my time here in Dallas spending every weekend at JRs, Roundup and TMC. I'm not saying I'll never go there again, but I am going to make a conscious effort to find the good here, so that if someone ever happens to visit me, I can show them the true hot spots.

Last night was Brian's birthday/housewarming party. It was tres chic. Ryan S■■■ and I went shopping during the day and I got a kickass new outfit. But since I wore it to Brian's party, now I need another new outfit for ULDE:IYDKYDG. I looked good though, when, not if, I do say so myself. Brian claimed his party was the social event of the century, naturally making ULDE:IYDKYDG the social event of the millennium. I shouldn't be too sassy about it though, since Brian has graciously offered us all of his alcoholic left overs to reuse at our party. So it looks like there will be some liquor there, folks. My friend Marc and his friend Filipe joined us at the party. Marc is multi-lingual and uses it to his advantage. Whenever he wanted to say something private to Filipe, he spoke in French, when he wanted to tell me something, he used German. And then when he introduced himself to Chris Jones, he used English, which floored Chris. He was unimpressed with foreign languages, but blown away that he could also speak our native tongue. It was funny.

After the party everyone went over the Minc. But I got a text message from RyanC saying that he was at New Amsterdam CoffeeHaus again, which is like 3 doors down from Minc, so I went there instead. Good times, good times. Had a couple beers there to supplement my already healthy BAC. Ryan S■■■ drove home, naturally.

I had to go to my physical assessment today. Oh yes, kids, I joined a gym finally. I think Burns summed up what I expect to be the general reaction when he responded to my workout away message.

BURNSofive: what are you doing there? is it happy hour?

That should save you all from having to make your sassy comments. At the gym they measured my weight, my body fat, my arm strength, my endurance, and all this shit. It was kinda cool. The computer says that I have the body of a 21 year old and gave me suggestions on how to get down to the body of an 18 year old. Of course, if I knew a surefire way to get to the body of an 18 year old, I wouldn't be here typing this for all of you. Zzzzzing! But I cannot tell you how good it felt to work out again. I think this is really going to make my life better. Even though I was sweating Moudite the entire time, I walked out there thinking to myself, "Damn, I am a healthnut," as I lit my cigarette.

One final note, I seem to have just contracted a computer virus that is putting up away messages for me, so don't click any links on my away messages. Thanks and gig this!

I’d do okay forever in blue jeans

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

There is nothing like Neil Diamond to make rush hour traffic an absolute joy. I am in the best mood now. I was jammin out on the way home from work to my new two disc set. I bought it because I was wearing my Neil Diamond concert T this weekend and got many comments on it, which made me start thinking about how I wanted to hear his music. One guy, as we were walking into Jason's apartment complex, accused me of not even knowing who Neil Diamond was, so I launched into a few drunken verses of Forever In Blue Jeans, Kentucky Woman, and Love on the Rocks, to name a few. Sure showed him. HA!

I bought the CD at the Borders in the West Village. Silly me, I never even knew the West Village existed, and Ryan S■■■ lives so close to there, and I used to work like right there. They have some of the best stores I've seen since I left Miami. I wanted to buy a whole bunch of stuff, but decided to save a little bit of money instead of blowing it all on clubbing clothes. I did buy one shirt for 40 bucks, though, because it's totally hot and it was half off. Half off, but I got a whole shirt. It's awesome. I can't wait to sport it this weekend when I'm in College Station, make all you bitches jealous.

Yes, that's right, this is probably your final reminder. I'll be pullin' into CS on Thursday night, depending on what time I can feasibly slip out of work on Thursday. Since I'm skipping Friday, it might not be such a hot idea to leave at noon again like I did last time. I can't wait to see everyone, but there are some things on my agenda. I have to hang out with Christopher before he trucks back off to Yale. I'll be spending as much time with him as I can. I have to go out with AllieD before she trucks off to Austin for the weekend. We have much to discuss ... and by 'discuss' I mean 'drink.' I have a party to go to with Brian and James, Allison's new crew. That's on Saturday night. Anyone and everyone can go with me if you'd like, I put myself down for 20 guests. I also need to see Tommy's new apartment ... now that I know he hasn't been ignoring me for the past few weeks. He hasn't even had internet, so someone else is on all of his accounts. If it's a Sidesho-Viewer, what you're doing isn't very nice and I think you should stop. It made me think Tommy hated me, as preposterous as that sounds.

I went apartment shopping this weekend with Ryan S■■■. I really want to live in Addison Circle, but they were at like a 98% lease rate when I went. That means that there are no good apartments left, and the ones that are left, they have absolutely no incentive to cut me any specials on. I was pretty gung ho about moving out but now my spirit has been crushed. I gave the lady my email address and told her to give me a heads up on any upcoming vacancies. I know I could go live somewhere else, but you know me. Once I decide I want something, I just can't settle for something else. Instant gratification, people, it's what makes the world go 'round. Rest assured, though, loyal viewers, I am fully intending to move out of my parents' house, perhaps in the near future, as my rent budget may swell.

Work goes on. Life goes on. Beers go down. Not much else to say. I love you all, and look forward to seeing everyone in CS this weekend. MWAH!

And I told you all this

Saturday, August 7, 2004

Last night was delightful. I got to go to Clay's house in this magical neighborhood surrounded by castlegates, drawbridges, magik and mystery. He had read my blog on having too many items in my pockets (07/24/2004: My daily inventory) and brought me a stylish euro man bag from Spain! How cool is that. Thank you, Clay, I copyright my new man bag. He also brought with him a bottle of the forbidden, therefore more desirable, Absinthe. The way we drank it was so cool. First you put some in a glass with ice. Then you take a spoonful of sugar, dip it into the alcohol, and then light the spoon on fire. As the sugar melts you let it drip back down into the glass. When it has sufficiently melted, you stir it all up until it's milky and add water. I really enjoyed my first experience. In a nutshell, it tasted exactly like liquid black licorice. Nothinkg to write home about ... but certain something to blog about.

Work today was so pointless. I know that my work ethic is a well known and often lamented fact of engineering lore, but I honestly believe I'm a hard worker. When I have something to do and it needs to get done, boy howdy, I'll get it done for you, and quick. I'll even work late or through the night or on the weekends if it needs be. What I don't do is show up early in the morning to the ghetto to sit on my hands for 5 hours pissing and moaning about the way things are run. I didn't do a fucking thing all day. Oh well, I guess things could have been worse. One thing I noticed today is that the number one goal of everyone on a jobsite is to pass the buck. It doesn't matter what hasn't been done or who was supposed to do it, "It ain't my job."

And a lot of times, people will use the phrase, "... and I told [insert name here] this ..." I heard that about 100 times today. Example: "What we were contracted to do ... and I told Andy this ... is not to run wires." As if having previously told some third party who is not present or involved suddenly adds credibility to your statement. I just think its stupid, and I told Trey this, that I had to wake my ass up at 6am every day this week, yeah I'm doin' the controls down in Oak Cliff.

Tomorrow is my father's birthday. I got him the Die Hard trilogy DVDs and a Winnie the Pooh DVD for when Kaylyn visits. They've been collecting Disney movies for years now in the event of a grandchild, but I don't think she's quite ready for an entire plot, and everybody loves Winnie the Pooh. I just wanted to get him something grandpa-ish (assuming he is going by grandpa and hasn't been renamed Paw-Paw or Pee-Pee or Poo-Poo or something). I also decorated his cake tonight after dinner. I watch Martha do it so much that I thought I would be good at it. I spun that cake around as I smoothed out the icing. Then I did a cool pattern with pecans on top and crushed up some pecans and stuck them to the side of the cake. I worked so hard on it and I was so proud of myself. When I stepped back to admire my work, it looked as though it had been done by a retarded third grader. I should just avoid entirely doing anything with my hands. Well...

Tonight should be fun. I'm ready for anything, and I told Ryan this, so we're going to go to a party. Catch you skillets on the flip side.

Sidesho Goes To Oakcliff

Friday, August 6, 2004

Fear not, faithful readers, I have returned unscathed from the depths of the Dallas ghetto. Today, I had to travel to Oakcliff to do some serious manual labor -- on rooftops and in un-air conditioned rooms -- on an air conditioning system for an elementary school that is supposed to open on Monday. I don't see how on earth it could possibly be ready since the fucking thing is severely under construction. Oh wait, I know one way they can expedite the progress ... MAKE ME WORK ALL WEEKEND! This is an unprecedented first. I have never in my life raised a finger to do an ounce of work on a weekend. But as always, before you reer back in laughter, there is an upside. I plan on tacking however much time I take off to the beginning of my August 20th venture to College Station. So I may be there sooner than you realize ... and get paid the whole time! Haha!

Some observations about my day: (1) Nobody speaks English. This is not a racial or cultural slur, as it applies to every shade of construction worker. Those I dealt with today were black, white and hispanic. None of them spoke English. The hispanic workers naturally spoke Spanish, the integrity of their grammar I am at a loss to express. The black workers spoke some true blue ebonics I could not begin to understand. And the white workers spoke with poor, broken English one can only accumulate after a lifetime of disregard for the rules of grammar. It was quite depressing. (2) Thank g*d I attended Plano schools. There were some teachers in another wing of the building getting classrooms ready and speaking amongst themselves. The fact that these fine people were the educators of young children spoke volumes for their poor test scores in the DISD. Also, there was a book in the "library" we sat in for most of the day called Jamie O'Rourke and the Big Potato which I could only assume was the cheaper, less culturally sensitive version of James and the Giant Peach that I used to love so much. (3) As I walked around, I casually commented to myself, "Thank jebus I went to college so I don't have to do this for a living." Then I paused, looked around, and realized ... this is what I do for a living.

On the way home I stopped off at Best Buy and spent another 100 bucks on DVDs. I had to reaffirm to myself why it is I put up with this shit. So this weekend will blow monkey ass, but it should pay off huge dividends in the future. I have to go take a shower now and head to Carrollton to see the prodigal friend, Clay, who has recently arrived in the US from Espania where he's been studying for a year. We're going to sip absynthe and wax nostalgic with the green fairy. I'm sure I'll have plenty more stories for you come Monday. Until then, my friends, Excelsior! Carpe diem! Haha!

Please, don’t give me the finger

Monday, July 26, 2004

Tell me if this is totally evil of me. My boss is a really nice guy. I honestly enjoy working for him. And on top of that, I think he's really smart ... maybe even smarter than me, which means I respect him. Plus, he's pretty lax about just about everything having to do with my work, which is of the utmost importance when you're trying to employ yours truly. The only problem I have with him is his hand. It is completely normal except for one finger that bends 90 degrees at the last knuckle. I hate to be so petty, but for some reason this really bothers me. When he demonstrates a concept with his hands, or uses gestures for emphasis, I feel the blood rush to my face and I get uneasy and queasy. It's awful. I end up making uncomfortably strong eye contact to avoid looking, or I look away, which is never good when you're boss is having a conversation with you. Should I get over it or would that bother anybody else? Not that your opinion matters.

In other news, I came across an old relic of my childhood the other day. It's my first stereo ever, the ol' Gerard. I used to listen to Lisa Loeb "Tails" (the first CD I ever owned) on repeat for weeks at a time on the ol' Gerard. This thing is so badass. The remote has a button for opening and closing the CD tray, but does not have a power button, nor volume control. Because there are many times when you would need to open and close the CD tray from across the room, but rarely if ever would you want to modulate the volume. I decided that instead of tucking it back away in the nether regions from whence it came, I would give it new life. I took a cue from David27 and put the stereo in my bathroom, so I can listen to music in the morning while I'm showering. I just tried it for the first time this morning and it is absolutely heavenly.

Also, it gives new meaning to the phrase, "Rock out with your cock out!" Excelsior!

I’m an UNCLE!

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Yay! My brother's wife had her baby today! I'm so excited. I don't know any of the time or weight or anything, but he said that she is just fine. Her name is Kaylyn Mary F■■■■. I might need to double check the spelling on that. My parents just left to go see her, but I didn't really want to go and I've already made my plans to go. So the weekend of July 30th I am going to drive down to College Station after work, party balls, get up and go to Humble, see the baby, drive back to CS, party balls, and then go home. It's the perfect plan.

I suppose I should get the baby a birthday present, but I usually just get my friends a fifth of vodka or a carton of cigarettes ... not sure what the infant equivalent of that is. Maybe I'll get her shoes. Babies with shoes on crack me up.

I wasn't sure what I was going to do last night since my go-to guy, Ryan S■■■, claimed he was going to stay home with mud butt. Then out of nowhere, Dustin and Trey IM me and say they wanna come to Dallas and party with me. So fun! We stayed in this Motel 6 down off Highway 30 and they had like mad security, so we asked about it. The parking attendant was like, "Ohhh yeah, they've had a lot of problems with prostitution around here lately." Haha, so we stayed in a whore house! Rad!

I gave them the grand tour of Dallas, and showed them all the pertinent sights: JR's, Round-Up, The Village, TMC. We had a blast. They drove to Ft. Worth today to help some girl move, not sure what thats all about. And tonight one of my co-s is celebrating his last weekend in Dallas cause he's being transferred to Kansas City. So I'll probably have to go to a straight bar to wish him well. I'm not sure what I am going to do the rest of the day. Maybe I'll swim, maybe I'll rent a movie, maybe I'll be on the computer and suddenly realize that its midnight. I'll be sure to let you know which one I choose. Peace out, have nots.

July 4th Weekend

Monday, July 5, 2004

I am back in Dallas now after my three day excursion to College Station. It was so good to go back. I knew this was going to happen, but in my defense that was probably the longest I had been away from that shitty little city since the summer that I had knee surgery. I spent the majority of the time with Marshall, but it was so good to see everyone else as well. I spent the second most time with Ryan and Josh, but also got to see Leslie, Josh, Raul, Justin, Justin, Tommy, Robby, and some others that I'm forgetting. If I've left you off of the list, just hit me up with a comment and then I'll cleverly add you and post a comment right after yours that says something to the effect of, "Try reading it again, I clearly see your name there." It is hilarious when I do that.

There's not a whole lot of news from my weekend. I got drunk all three nights, two of which were at Halo. I miss belonging like that. Knowing all the bartenders and owners and every patron of an establishment, and having them notice when you've been out of the loop for a while. I am coming to love going out in Dallas, but there's just nothing like the CS crew. Marshall and I got shitcanned on Friday night even though I told him that there was no way I was going to last past midnight cause I was so tired. I was practically falling asleep on the drive down there despite the fact that I slipped out the side door of work two hours early. Shhhh. My supervisor was out of town so I didn't see any reason for me to hang around.

So Friday night was a FUCKING BLAST ... just what I needed. Saturday was a big drag show that I didn't even look at once the whole night. I drank a lot of Jaeger before we went out to the bar so the entire night's activities are a tad blurry. But I know I had fun and only ran up a six dollar bar tab despite telling everyone I knew to put everything on my tab. Rock out with your cock out!

Sunday night Marshall and I went over to Chris's apartment to sit by the hot tub and play volleyball. Well, I read magazines while the other boys and girls played volleyball. Sports aren't exactly my style. Then we got some beer and I drank a bunch. I am so fun. Then today I said my goodbyes to Marshall at Hoblob, swung by Josh's to pick up some of my stuff he was still holding onto and drove home. Yippee skippy. Oh but I got my diploma from Marshall who was having it framed at Hoblob. The four hundred dollar framing job that I inexplicably paid nothing for. It looks so cool. I'll have to snap a picture for all of you and include it on the picture post that I've been promising frequently as of late.

One final note: Tomorrow is my 23rd birthday. Make my day.

This wicked little town

Saturday, June 26, 2004

I am now done with orientation at work. Friday was another good Friday. For the entire three weeks, they'd been telling us about our final exam at the end and how we should be studying a little bit here and there because it was really hard and comprehensive. And of course, none of us studied. In fact, we joked, "I'm not gonna study. I bet when we walk in the door, there's nothing but cake and punch." But in reality, we were all fully expecting a test.

Well, wouldn't ya know, as soon as we opened the door to take our tests, the Recruitment and Development Department yelled out "SURPRISE!" and clapped as they stood behind ... yup, cake and punch. So rad. And then we each had a little card congratulating us, a ■■■ pen, and a ■■■ like leather zipper folder thing. It was pretty cool. We had a good time. And then we all went to happy hour at Blue Mesa Grill. I had several beers and one guy bought a round of 16 shots of tequila. These people are all pretty fun. But they were going out and wanted me to join. Something to do on a Friday night? Rad!

The other night I got really sad about the fact that I was in Dallas. Poor Josh and Nelly Ryan had to talk to me while I was upset. I've really been kind of lonely since I've been back. I have my few friends here and I see them occasionally, but I miss all my friends in College Station. A lot. So to go hang out on a Friday night instead of sitting home and going to bed early was just what I needed. That, and more cowbell. I rawked the hawk for all my coworkers who had never seen it before. I met them all at this guy Keith's apartment and we went to Arriba's for margaritas and daqueries to start with.

There was a group of about eight of us, all heavy drinkers. I'm gonna toss some names around so don't get confused. Keith's stomach was upsetting him from his drink so he asked the waitress if she had any Tums. She didn't. And she was like 18 with a full set of braces. So when Willem's check came he wrote "No Tums, No Tip" and then blackened in a big '0' on the tip line. So as we're leaving this bitch is screaming out the back door, "Real fucking cool." And she obvious thinks it was Keith who wrote it ... who is now peeing behind the truck we rode in and thinks she's pissed that he's pissing. So we got out of there pretty quick and went to Suede. So weird. People just CRAMMED into a tiny bar, no dancing, just drinking. I don't see how people find that fun. But I managed to have an alright time talking to random people. I wish I'd taken my own car though, because when these guys get drunk, they look for a fight. They tried to pick a fight with some dude selling roses. I was like COME ON LET'S GO. It took forever to get back to my car.

When I finally did I was thinking, "Holy shit I don't want to drive back to Plano right now." So I start driving and recognized this street, Thomas, right away. And I'm like, "Oh, score, I am in Ryan S■■■'s neighborhood." So I called his roommate, David, and found his apartment and then fell asleep in his bed. Good thing he didn't come home. So to you, Ryan S■■■, I say thank you. HA!

I have a bunch of pictures that I need to put up on here from the Miami trip and from orientation when we went to the top of a 49 story building downtown, but that will have to wait for another blog. Laaaaaaaaaaaaate.

Mondays at Studio Movie Grill

Monday, June 21, 2004

I have to start with a few quick shoutouts as a part of the weekend wrap up. When you don't blog as often, things that were once really great blog fodder turn into stories on the way side. But I do want to mention that Friday night I went to Shuck and Jive with Maryann (my former daycare boss) and her daughter Ashley and then Keith met us up there. And then Saturday night I went to a party in Arlington at DAvid's house with Ryan H■■■■. Great times, great times.

But now there's more pressing news. I bought two new CDs yesterday and I have to tell you about them. I got The Calling's new CD (my favorite band) and while I was shopping around I saw and grabbed Ben Jelen's CD. Now, The Calling is just awesome. Their new CD is just as good if not better than their last, and that is a pretty huge compliment coming from me since I listened to their last CD on repeat for like years in a row.

But, the story is Ben Jelen. I liked his song "Come On" so I bought the CD. Cause if you know me well then you know that I've never burned a CD in my life. I'm a big advocate of supporting my favorite artists since music is a massive part of my life. Let me think how to phrase this.

Precious few of you have ever heard the full story of how important John Denver is to me ... or why. Long story short, the first time I ever heard Rocky Mountain High, I was in a particularly difficult period of my life around age 13, and the second I heard that song I had direction. I knew I wouldn't be happy until I could play guitar like that and sing like that. And that has been one of the most defining experiences of my life.

From the second I put on the Ben Jelen CD, I knew that he was something special. Let me put it this way. On a scale from one to John Denver, he ranks an 8. Most people don't even make it on the scale. Every song on this CD is so good that I don't ever want it to end. It's absolutely fucking amazing. Like beyond amazing. Go buy it now. I don't care if you don't get to eat for a month, buy this fucking CD. G*d, it's so good. Of course, he's also beautiful. And then there's the nostalgia factor ... if it wasn't for Ben Jelen I never would have met 27. The first time I met him at a party, I was talking to him because I thought looked like Ben Jelen. But even all of that aside, this whole album is fucking incredible. I cannot stress this enough.

The reason the title of this blog is "Mondays at Studio Movie Grill" is because my old friend Jay, better known to some as PlanoJay, is the bartender there on Monday nights. And he told me that any time I come in I can have whatever I want for free. So you know I'm there every Monday. I got kind of drunk tonight. And when I got home I wasn't hungry and I'd accidentally smoked like 5 cigarettes on the way home. So my mom was pissed that I got home way late, didn't want the food she'd saved for me, and smelled like an ashtray, but I think she'll get over it.

So ... go buy The Calling and Ben Jelen and then report back to me. TRUST ME, you won't be sorry on either account.

Last day of freedom

Sunday, June 6, 2004

The room was a haze, her steps heavy with drunken determination. She stood at the doorway and gazed out, seeing double. The rain fell in sheets outside, and not wanting to endure the downpour, she retreated back into the club. She looked left to read a poster, but abandoned such hope as the words melted together. She looked right with disgust at the lowly bartenders shooting disapproving leers. She should have been looking down, because unbeknownst to her, the floor ended in a cascade of stairs she had walked up and down a hundred times before.

The floor jumped up from out of nowhere, knocking her sideways as her purse regurgitated its belongings. She looked up to notice lights on the far wall, and soon realized she had hit the floor. Dazed, she felt herself lift up under the close watch of two of her friends. And then, it was time to leave.

Okay, enough with the narrative stylings of your favorite Sidesho attraction. I just promised Leslie that I would find a creative spin on the fact that she ate it hardcore in the middle of Boyz Cellar. That was the only way I could procure permission to even tell the story. Those of you who know her won't be surprised ... those of you who have met her won't be surprised ... those of you who know of her won't be surprised ... those of you who read this site a lot won't be surprised ... but everyone else will be fucking floored!

We had to leave early that night, but luckily our knight in shining armor, Brandon, was there to save the day and drive us back to Round Rock so we didn't have to wait in the rain for a taxi. "We" was Leslie, Jon S■■■ and yours truly. It was still relatively early and the rest of us were relatively sober so Jon and I sat up drinking beers and discussing politics. Lesbie Ann joined us for a spell but retired before we did. The next day we woke up and had lunch and then I hit the road for Brandon's house.

He fumbled about for a bit, not wanting to extend the good bye, just delay it. A furtive look about at his surroundings and he fixated on her. He was leaving her, and didn't know when he would see her again. A moment. Hugs and pleasantries exchanged, he strode to the car and waved a final time.

Ehh, I had to give my embarassing moment some granduer as well. It was then that our everyman realized he'd locked his fucking keys in his car. What happened was I put Tuna in the car in his Taco Bell traveling cup, but didn't want him to swelter while I was saying goodbye to Leslie so I reached in and cranked on the AC and then shut the door ... but not before remembering to lock it. So I stood outside of Leslie's for like 30 minutes as my gas ran out for 2 bucks a fucking gallon. Luckily, I had turned on the AC (although that was the problem in the first place) because Tuna would have died. So I remained calm.

I finally got on the road and made it to Brandon's house, and we went to the mall. I got to see where he works. Then we got all cute and headed out to the Pride Parade. I had no idea that it was pride, but whatever, I just go with the flow. Ran into my old pal Craig and my older pals Rossi and Brad, so that was cool. Danced the night away, but didn't get drunk. Today I drove back to Dallas amidst throngs of biking enthusiasts and it took almost 5 hours. Now its pouring rain and my first day of work is tomorrow. I'm nervous and should be in bed, but I wanted to fill everyone in on the last weekend of freedom I will ever experience ... well, until I get fired for going to work drunk. But hopefully that won't be for many days.

Wish me luck, I'm sure I'll update tomorrow with hilarious antics from the office ... Since now I have my degree, and I do engineering in my engineering office. Bah. Laaaaaaaaate you have nots.

Post-Miami Post

Saturday, May 29, 2004

The rest of our time in Miami was much like the first half: fucking incredible. Tuesday night we went to the bar that the clothing store girl suggested. It was like straight up velvet roped Sex and the City style club. The bouncer let us in free, which was cool, but once we got in we were like "oops." Then we had to suffer the indignity of turning around and walking back out. It was pretty obvious we were out of element, so we ran away. Everyone was in suits and it was very upscale. We're used to dead animals hanging on the walls.

So we went to a bar called Score. That was more our speed, for several reasons. I ended up getting shit canned and leaving all kinds of hilarious drunken voicemails on my friends' phones. On Josh's message I said something to the effect of, "OH shit I'm about to run into a phone poll." Good stuff. Wednesday night, we took it pretty easy, just had a nice dinner on Ocean Drive (lobster linguini - YUM) and then some wine with strange Columbian men. Thursday was a long day of traveling back to Dallas.

Friday we drove back to College Station. Traffic was HORRENDOUS. I have never seen it so bad on 45. It took us an hour and a half just to get through Corsicana where it goes down to one lane. So we made an executive decision to take Highway 14 through Mexia to try and avoid the congestion. Allison had to pee and wanted a drink so we took a tour of Mexia looking for the McDonalds or Sonic. I don't know how many of you are addicted to VH1 like I am, but surely a good lot of you have seen the biography of Anna Nichole Smith (aka Vicky Lynn). She grew up in Mexia with the most white trash family I've ever seen and worked at a fried chicken store. Well, as we were driving to Sonic we fucking found the chicken stand. I immediately pulled over, ordered a couple drumsticks and bicuits and Allison took a picture. Now that is the kind of sight seeing that I am interested in ... true American landmarks. We were laughing so hard the entire time.

That pretty much saved our 5 hour trip from Dallas to College Station and gave us something to giggle about the rest of the way. Last night was a glam Halo night with one of my new shirts that I bought. I looked awesome ... as usual. I got shit canned ... as usual. I crashed at Marshall's ... as usual. Good times had by all. I found out that Josh has internet so I'll probably be mooching off of him while I'm around. I will be sure to update you all if anything of interest happens. I will probably be back in Dallas around Tuesday or Wednesday. Or later. Who knows? Later kiddos.

Where have I been lately?

Friday, May 7, 2004

A limerick by my wonderfully creative and observant friend Justin B■■■■■■:

An Aggie named David was near
to the end of his college career.
He grew quite impatient from sleep deprivation,
and decided, at last, to cashier.

In other news, several of you have expressed your disappointment in my absence as of late. Oh okay, fine, I'm lying. Not one person has missed me. But during those long hours, I sit back, close my eyes, and imagine loyal Sidesho-Viewer after loyal Sidesho-Viewer logging on and getting this forlorn puppy dog look on their face when their Buddy List is devoid of the SideshoViD. Regardless, many of you know that I have been spending the majority of my time out at "the greenhouse." But what is the greenhouse? I am referring to ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ in Navasota, TX. You've probably driven by it on your way to Houston. Next time be on the lookout for the little grey Cavy.

Anyway, I thought if you couldn't be there with me, then perhaps you could be there in spirit. And in order for you to do that, you need to know what the place looks like. Or maybe you're just plum curious. I took my camera out there today to take pictures for our final documentation and presentation (rescheduled to Monday) and some of them are worth sharing. I didn't put up a lot of the pictures of boring valves, pipes, and switches, but chose some of the few cool ones.

CLICK HERE TO SEE MY PICTURES1!!!!1!!!11!!!

You happy, Owen, I switched up the 1's. And David27, I expect you to take a look at the circuit board I designed and leave me a comment identifying at least two of the components on the board. This is your final exam. So its 4:45am and I am up watching MacGuyver on TV Land. Why?

That was a rhetorical question.

Update: MacGuyver just beat up a guy who knew kung fu and had a chainsaw and a knife. And he did it all with his bare hands ... no MacGuyverish tricks. Fucking sweet. I wish I had a MacGuyver mullet.

So much to do

Thursday, April 29, 2004

Hey, I just wanted to drop you all a quick line to let you know that I'm alive. I've only recently realized the magnitude of what's left to do before the end of this semester -- in reality, within the next 7 days. I am basically going to be out of commission for the entire time, and then as soon as that's done it'll be time for finals and then graduation.

Let me give you all a piece of etiquette when dealing with a graduating senior. Every last person you talk to and mention graduation asks you, "So WhAt'S tHe PLaN fOr AfTeR yOu GrAdUaTe? GoT a JoB?! DerRrRrRr!" If a graduating senior does not offer up that information to you, then don't try to extract it from them. There's a chance, a good chance, that they don't fucking know what they're going to do. And NO, they don't have a job, so fuck off. This is all just hypothetical, of course.

I have several plans. I could live with my brother temporarily in Houston and hope to find a job there before his daughter is born and I have to be out of the house. I could move back home and leisurely search for a job in Dallas, and if I get one either get my own apt, or I just IMed Ryan S■■■ last night about moving in with him. I could move to OKC with my sister just to kinda get away from it all and see if I can't nab a job around there. I could stay in College Station for the summer looking for work to just party one last time before really applying myself to the search. I might give my other brother who lives in California and works for Intel my resume, and see if that won't work, but that would mean moving to Cali, Colorado or AZ. My only other idea is to cut myself to see how much it bleeds.

Today I am actually going to class. The fuckheads in my class decided on a take-home final while I wasn't around. Take-home finals are so much harder than real ones and are certainly more difficult than oral exams. I have to go get that final. Then I have to go to my last day of yoga ... tear. Then its directly to the greenhouse to meet with my team. I might change my oil first since that's highway driving, and I might stop by Best Buy to see if I can get a new battery since it is REALLY annoying that my laptop shuts off if you even jiggle the power cord. Like I said, so much to do.

I got a fish!!1!

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Today I woke up kinda early for me and had time to walk over to the pet store and look at their bettas. I found one that I thought would look really cool in my new tank. He serves two purposes though. First, he's my pet. Second, he's my guinea pig. If he dies then I know the tank is inhabitable and I shouldn't let Marshall bring me his fish until I get the water fixed. I would feel so bad if I killed Marshall's fish right off the bat. I still need to go to David27's and get his unused betta food so I can feed the little guy.

At first, the water level was kind of low to allow the water spilling in from the filter to make a water noise and produce lots of bubbles ... something to hear and see. As soon as I put the betta in, the force of the induced current shoved him up against the wall. I had to add more water to reduce the impact it has on his environment, but I think he still doesn't like it. I'm not sure, I don't speak Betta. But, I also know I don't want to clean this tank all the time, so he can just learn to deal with it.

Tonight, my friend Brandon is driving in from Austin to visit. He hasn't been back to College Station in a long, long time, so that is going to be fun. Idk what we're going to do but I'm sure we'll be able to find something. I just found out that I haven't been skipping class this week. My prof has been out and may be out for a while. So yay! No early classes! Excelsior!

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

I would be lying if I said that I was having the Best Week Ever (btw, I fucking love that show). But, ever the optimist, it's not impossible to put a positive spin on things. I will give you all twenty-seven guesses as to what's going on, but you'll only need one. Anyway, I don't want to talk about that now. What I do want to talk about is my new fish tank!!1!

Isn't it beautiful? I bought the tank at Wal-Mart. It was one of those all-in-one packages. I set it up last night and got the filter running after I forced Tommy to put it together for me. Then today I went to the pet store and got two colors of rocks and a couple fake plants. They didn't have any of the goofy shit I wanted though. You know what I mean, like a frog wearing overalls sitting on a log, or a diver and a chest of treasure that bubbles ... goofy shit. They did have a Squidward doll, but I wouldn't want to get him unless I also had Spongebob and they were all out of him. Before you ask, no I do not have any fish. Part of me is thinking I don't really need any. I like the way it looks and the sound of the filter spitting water is soothing. My betta from David27 was dead so there goes that option. Marshall might give me his two fish that he doesn't want anymore. That would be fun, but idk when he's going to bring them to their new home.

Other than that, not a lot has been going on. I've not really been eating or sleeping, because those are overrated. And I surely haven't been to class because that's a hassle. I did start walking a lot, good exercise. I like meandering. And in other news, my flowers are looking awesome, they're getting so big, but none of them have gotten a bud yet, so I will spare you a picture until that happens. Later, you have nots.

UPDATE: Marshall came over to work on some scrapbooking thing for one of Thomas's project, and shortly thereafter Owen came home from school and saw my tank decoration. There was an overwhelming sentiment that having a tank with no fish was a waste of time and money. So I shut their asses up by putting some fish in my tank. The first piece of goofy shit that I have planned. This is cool though because even if I do eventually get the fish from Marshall, now they will be forewarned not to fuck with me. I don't take shit from the help, no matter what the species. Swish out of line one time, and you'll end up in a can! Haaaaaaaa!!1!

Enter: 28

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

This weekend went by rather uneventfully, which was fine. I didn't go anywhere from Easter. Not that I had a lot to do in College Station, but I was still sick and having trouble breathing for extended periods of time so I decided to just waste my days away sitting on my favorite couch watching my favorite TV shows. It was a wonderful time. Almost everyone I knew went to their respective homes to celebrate the day with their family so I was a little bored.

Last night I went out to Northgate with Stino and the crew and had a few beers. I wasn't sure if it would be a good idea or not since I was sick and it was cold and rainy and there were no places open past 1:00. So we got kicked out of Duddley's at 1:00 with full chuggers of beer and nowhere to go. People were suggesting that we 'chance it' and drive home with our beers, but you know me and you know I wasn't down with that. We ended up on the porch of Gatsby's finishing up our beers before we could go in and drink their beer. We ended up pouring some out on their fabulously sodded back porch (all the grass is so dead, its extremely tacky and stupid). Anyway, in the end I decided it was a good idea to have gone drinking because I woke up this morning feeling much better than I have the past few mornings. That is a good thing.

David27 went to Houston to see his family. He just came home today and called me on his way to let me know that he had gotten me a present. I was decidedly excited. He couldn't drop by and give it to me but he did tell me what it was. He got me a fish! He had read my webpage saying that I wanted a fish but didn't know how to take care of one so he bought me a beta, since they require minimal upkeep. I've decided to name him 28 in honor of our good friend 27. I am going to love him and hug him and squeeze him. I think he's going to bring him over tomorrow and I can't wait. I'll take a picture of him and share it with you all when he does. Later you have nots!

My flowers are fucking sprouting!

Thursday, April 8, 2004

Oh I am so excited. My wildflowers have only been planted for like 4 days now and they're already starting to sprout. Can you believe it? I actually thought there was a good chance that they would not grow for me. You see, I don't exactly have a green thumb. In fact, everything I touch turns brown, even my beloved cactus. But not this time, my friends, not this time. I love my wildflowers and I am going to nurture them and love them and make them bloom. It's almost time to hit them with another batch of plant food.

In fact, maybe I should give my new friend a hit of plant food as well. He is a palm tree and he now lives behind my TV. I've been wanting to rearrange the living room for a while now but Owen has not been very keen on the idea. So I decided to do it in stages while he was out of the apartment. I put the TV in the corner but it looked stupid with the speakers turned all inward so I brought the TV out flush with them, which looks good but created a huge empty gap. Long story short (which I know is ridiculous to say after you've already told the long story) I bought the palm tree to go in that space.

In case you're wondering that's Ben Affleck on the TV screen. I was watching my new Best of Molly Shannon DVD from Time Life video. It's turning into quite a collection now, I wasn't even aware more were on their way. Joy! Easter is almost upon us and everyone is kind of meandering home to celebrate, but I think I will just stay in College Station. I dunno, maybe I'm just jealous of jebus. It would be so awesome to have two birthdays.

Fucked up dreams, flowers and fish

Monday, April 5, 2004

I had the most fucked up dream last night. This one really took the cake. It was so long and weird that when I finally woke up, I jumped right out of bed despite the fact I'd only been asleep for a minimal number of hours. It started off with me and my entire family together in a car, and my dad making a wrong turn on a high overpass. Unfortunately, the way we went had no road and we plummeted like a 1,000 feet to our gruesome deaths. I remember thinking on the way down, as my stomach dropped, "Well, this is it," and experience a moment of extreme curiosity for what would happen after I died.

We were all instantly transported to what I guess would be the afterlife. The sky alternated red and blue, there were heavy clouds and lots of lightning. At first it was scary but then I realized it was actually quite beautiful. There were all kinds of people all living in their own little quarters, and I was sharing a house with my family. We met all kinds of people who taught us things about what it was like to be dead. One of them was how to return to Earth, which basically involved sky diving with no parachute. Once I got the balls to do it I went and checked in on all of my friends.

They had created some kind of twisted memorial to me that everyone I'd ever known had signed with a message for me. And I cried while I read them. I tried to return every now and again to check in on people, but time stopped moving linearly, and when it did it was inconsistent. Sometimes it would be the past, sometimes the distant future, and sometimes no time had passed at all. I rather liked the afterlife. There was always something to do, people to meet, things to learn. This is the first time in a dream that I've actually died, and I must say it wasn't too bad.

But I did wake up a tad disturbed. I ran over this dream again and again in my head to preserve some of the details. I have got to stop smoking crack. In other news, yesterday I went to Wal-Mart with Marshall and purchased a planter, some soil, and wildflower seeds. As of right now it is just a bucket of dirt, but I will keep you all filled in on their progress. I put in a shitload of seeds, I hope it grows like crazy.

My new goal is to buy a fish. I wanted to buy one spur of the moment last night but realized that I knew nothing about how to care for one. I will have to do my research, buy some equipment and get it set up before I buy Nemo. Again, you will all be the first to know when I do so. Hope your week is off to a good start. Be safe, and don't do anybody I wouldn't do.

Why I hate this fucking school, by SideshoViD

I guess it comes with the territory

Thursday, April 1, 2004

I know you wouldn't guess it by the fact that there are comments on my website, but I really don't care about anyone's opinion ... on anything. But it sure doesn't stop everyone and their mom from putting their two cents in. I guess that's cool though, it's basically the same thing we were doing today. Any politics aside, what went on was a bunch of fun people getting together, listening to good music, and generally having a good time. I had to go when the group finally decided to go listen to Tom S■■■ again. I really can't handle that guy more than once in a week, so I went and finished up a project for the class I'm worried about. Well, "finished" is a relative term. I didn't actually "finish" as much as I "quit."

Now I'm supposed to be working on completing my documentation over the project. I would tell you all what the project is, but it wouldn't make any sense and it would bore you to tears if you happened to understand. I don't want to write a paper. I don't want to do anything. But I guess thats the whole point of college, right?

This weekend I'm supposed to go back to Dallas to see Clay who is in from Spain for the week to have his wisdom teeth removed, but I'm really not looking forward to another field trip. And I couldn't stay at home because I really don't care to hear my parents reaction to the new hair color. Anyway, I have no idea what I'm talking about ... I'm just stalling. Now back to Alton Brown...

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Today was just a rip roaring good time on campus. I had my weekly senior project meeting, which went flawlessly as always, and then met up with some of my friends who had gathered at the Straight Pride rally over by Rudder Fountain. Damned free speech areas. Has anyone noticed that not once have the free speech areas on campus been used to promote liberal, democratic, tolerant, or educated viewpoints? It's always a bunch of dumb fucking redneks abusing the power.

So we went and had a discussion with them all trying to inform them that every day on campus is Straight Pride day and to try and belittle Gay Awareness Week, no matter how good your intentions may be, will be misinterpreted by the less educated (i.e. most dangerous) members of our little society. We didn't have long to talk to them because they were closing down camp for the day, but promised they would be back tomorrow if we wanted to talk to them some more. So I think we're going to get a big group of sane people together, just to show that on this campus, for every idiot who thinks Straight Pride is funny, there are two people who realize the implications.

You might think we were out of fun after these idiots cleared out, but no, OH NO, our fun had just begun. Our beloved campus evangelist, the one and only, Mr. Tom S■■■ was back! Hoorah! Our friend Jon S■■■, like the leader of Aggie Democrats, and a Jew, no less, had quite a time talking to Mr. S■■■. I don't like to talk to him because I know that he is an accomplished speaker and the last time I talked to him he turned my words back around on me. I prefer to prey on his little minions that he positions throughout the crowds to talk to you as you bad mouth him under your breath. I got sucked into an argument when I overheard some guy proclaiming that g*d was obviously real ... just look at the tree ... how could you possibly explain the tree without g*d? So I pointed out that it could be explained with Horticulture, a subject that is taught at this very university! Shazam!

Then he tried to tell me that faith was logic. To which I countered that faith is the opposite of logic, at which point, a guy who is in my major, and an active BUc (Brother Under christ) jumped in. We talked for a long time much to the amusement of my friends who were sitting near by. I've never really been observed in one of these arguments even though I tend to have them WAY more often than I'd like. But they were all laughing because, apparently, I show no emotion ... big shocker there, I'm totally monotone all the time. But they said that the other guy would get worked up and I wouldn't give a shit, which is basically true. We had to stop arguing though because he wanted to go on forever when it was apparent to me that our beliefs were fundamentally opposite, and no common ground could be met. For every christian bullshit line he pulled out, I put it back on him. He said he was trying to spread g*d's word to help me, I told him I was trying to convince him otherwise to help him.

All in all it was the same argument I always have with these people. I always think that it must be such a treat for them to get to talk to me, and such a drag for me to talk to them. Because I formed my own opinions on everything and they're good and funny and logical, whereas they all read the same stupid fairytale book for their opinions, so I know exactly what they're going to say next. Fucking automatons. My favorite part of the discussion was when I informed him, "There is no heaven. There is no hell. There is no g*d. There is no jebus. There is no salvation. There is no sin. You've got to stop thinking in terms like that." Lovely, just lovely. I love myself.

I am God.

I took a picture of my brown hair but I don't like the self portrait thing with my camera, so you all have to wait until I get someone else to take my pictures before you can see it. I am totally styling it in 70's retro style, and everyone hates it but me. But it completely cracks me up so I'll probably keep it up for a while. In the mean time, if you'd like to meet us out at Rudder Fountain tomorrow to speak more with the bigots, do just that. We'd love to have you. Laaaaaaaaaate.

And the party continues …

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Once again, alcohol was involved in my night. What makes this even better than the party that was rockin on Sunday during the Britney concert, is that this was a Monday night. So fun. The occasion for last night's festivities was Brian's 21st birthday. Everyone together now, "Happy birthday, Brian!" It was quite an ordeal to finally decide that I would be in attendance. I got home from working out with Thommi and didn't feel like drinking or spending money, but 27 and Marshall wanted to go, so I went. Like it took a whole lot of convincing or something. And of course I got shitcanned and spent a bunch of money, but it was a blast. Kyle was there.

After hitting up Fitzwillies, Mad Hatters, and Gatsby's (the new bar on Northgate, very chill, I liked it) we headed back to Aaron's apartment. Aaron had recently busted out of jail, so I bought him several drinks. I kinda feel like I owe him for his superiour bartending skills. I don't think we did a whole lot at Aaron's but sit around and shoot the shit. At one point I was laying on the floor, and as I was too lazy to get up, Justin was kind enough to pour the remnants of a bottle of wine into my mouth. Now that's service!

By far the highlight of my evening was Big Jeff, who was waiting for us back at the apartment. A few people were chillin there when we arrived. Anyway, back to my story. He had everyone's attention in a large round table discussion and went to tell a story about some friends of his. Honest to g*d, the story went like this: "Jeff, Jeff, Jeff and I," said Jeff. I thought it was hilarious, as did Kyle. That was the first thing Kyle IMed me with this morning (or afternoon, for you sun dwelling people).

I have got to go to campus and work on this project that was due 2 weeks ago. I don't know what I'm gonna do but there's a bunch of people in the same boat so at least that's comforting. But instead, I think I'm going back to bed. Later, sluts. Later, Kyle.

A weekend in Dallas

Monday, March 29, 2004

In order to keep up with the foreign exchange program we've got going on, it was College Station's turn to go visit the Dallas kids. Everyone rearranged their work schedules (well, not me cause I have no job or responsibilities) and we decided to leave at noon on Saturday. The crew was comprised of 27, Marshall and Thommi. I said we were absolutely, positively leaving at noon, whether they were there or not, no questions asked, just leaving.

Around noon, I woke up and started getting ready. I had no intentions of leaving at noon, but I figured that setting an early, firm deadline was the only way to get there before midnight. We ended up arriving at Ryan S■■■'s loft around 5:00, which left us enough time to go to the Northpark Mall. I bought this shirt at Guess that is inside out. It's so me. Like, the shirts not inside out, but the material is. I'm in love with the shirt. We got back, visited the quaint little liquor store on the first floor, and then started getting ready. Two really loud girls ended up in tow with us, one was 27's best friend, the other I have no idea. Once we were ready we went to Ryan H■■■■■■'s party.

That was alright, but there sure were a lot of people in one small space and I think he forgot to pay his A/C bill that month cause it was toasty. And we could only smoke on the balcony that is the size of my coffee table. And the boy who was drinking an entire bottle of wine, from the bottle, was talking about his faith in his lord and saviour, jebus christ, and how he never tests him with more than he can handle. An excellent topic to have at a boozefest while endulging in far too much of the sacramental fluids. The cops showed up, shook things up. The plan was to go out to the Village anyway, so it hastened everyone's retreat. Chaos ensued. My clan hopped into someone else's car and were whisked away, leaving me and Ryan's roommate, David, to walk back to Ryan's apartment to get my car and drive ourselves to the club. Charming. To be fair, Ryan did offer us a ride back to the apt but since I was under the impression that we were all going to meet up back there, I said we would just walk. Turns out, that was also our ride to the club.

So I was a little nonplussed by the situation. When we got back to the apartment I saw Marshall walking out and said, 'Wait, where are you going?' 'To the club!' he gleefully replied as he walked out the door. I was drunk enough that I didn't really want to drive, I hate driving (and especially parking) downtown, and David did not want to go ... all of this culminated into this final straw and I proclaimed, 'Fuck 'em. I'm not going.' So I did just that. David and I went to the gas station to get some beer and cigarettes, and we sat and watched movies. David is really cool and has the same sense of humor that I do, and we are never afforded the opportunity to hang out just the two of us, so I had a blast.

I chugged beers all night until I passed out. I don't remember the rest of them getting home, but passing out on Ryan's bed worked out to my advantage cause I didn't have to sleep on the hardwood floors. The next day we went and got smoothies and sandwiches and then made the long drive home. All in all, it was an excellent weekend, and we can't wait to do it again. In fact, it may be next weekend since Clay is coming home from Spain to get his wisdom teeth out and has promised me a bottle of Absinthe. Oh yeah, and I'm off carbs and am no longer blonde.

Interviews and such

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Ugh, interviewing is so stupid. I drove to Dallas on Monday afternoon, to avoid having to drive in the dark, which you all know I hate to do. I got there in time to help my mom make dinner and then eat with my parents. I was so tired from waking up early to go to class that I fell asleep around 10:00. I was happy I went to class though because we got our midterms back. I set another curve. I am a genius.

I tried to sleep in since my interview was at 11:30 but I was unable to do so. I guess I was nervous even though once I got there I really wasn't. I was interviewing with another guy from my major. The first thing we did was go to lunch with two guys. They took us to Saltgrass and we ate steaks. Yum. They took our resumes with them and asked us questions about projects we'd worked on and stuff, but mostly just shot the shit. After lunch I met with 3 other men who were interviewing me. Although, it seemed like they were more just looking for someone to talk to than actually interviewing. They asked me a few stupid questions, but mostly let me talk about projects I've been involved in, and talked about themselves and projects that they've done.

The company is really cool and I've decided that I want the job. They do automation systems for buildings. They do a lot of school districts, but more glamorous jobs include the Rockerfeller Center in New York, the Sears Tower in Chicago, and some building over in Japan that is supposedly the tallest building in the world. I thought they just automated lights, HVAC and security, but they do so much more. For instance, a guy shows up to work at 5am, scans his card. His office immediately sets to his preferred temperature, the lights turn on, and the elevator is waiting at the lobby already set to take him to his floor. On top of that, if a laptop turns up missing, they can track his progress throughout the building to see if he was a suspect. Also, if the fire alarm goes off, they have a complete record of who got out of the building, and who was left inside ... as well as where they are. It seems like these are really advanced systems. Like you can't just set the temperature to 72 and go with it. They also would set up occupancy sensors to make sure that they aren't wasting money cooling a vacant room. And they would probably include a CO2 sensor to make sure that the room wasn't getting stuffy with recirculated air and mix in some outside air. It seems like a really cool job and I hope I get it. I will know by April 16th. Regardless, they paid me 32 cents a mile to come see them so I'm gonna get a check for about $130 in the mail soon. Yippee.

I still haven't worked on my big project. I stood up Christina Lee on accident this morning to work on it and now I have a presentation to prepare for in my senior design class. We really didn't do much over Spring Break so I dunno what we're gonna talk about. We'll figure it out though, we always do. Hope all is well with you sluts, catch you on the flip side. Laaaaaaate.

Spring Break is ovah

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Another Spring Break come and gone. My last Spring Break ever, as a matter of fact. How depressing. I had a pretty good time doing nothing even though I should have been doing a helluva lot. I'm worried about this one class because I still haven't finished the project that was due last week. They've extended the deadline another week, but I'm not going to be here for the first part of it. Tomorrow I have to drive home so I can go to my second interview with ■■■■■ on Tuesday morning. I'm not really excited about being interviewed. The whole process is somewhat retarded albeit necessary. I don't really want the job, but I'll take it if they offer. My brother said I could stay with him after graduation for a couple weeks if I wanted and my sister said I could move in indefinitely, so at least I won't be homeless ... and by "homeless" I mean "living at home."

I spent the weekend gettin drunk with the SideshoGang. We drank so much beer last night but we also ate a shitload of food so it was hard to catch a buzz. I think I fell asleep around 5, who knows. Now I'm just hanging over at my apartment with the AC on full blast. I always get so hot when I'm hungover, and my stupid hangover mask doesn't stay cold for very long against my hot forehead. 27 is on his way home finally, so that should keep me entertained until tomorrow. Ugh, I hate road trips. Peace out, sluts.

Humbly yours,

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Once again, I find myself in the unassuming little town of Humble, Texas. As I was saying before, my brother's wife went into preterm labor the other day and is now stuck on bed rest. I really came to help out but as it turns out, I'm not really going to have to do anything. Not that I thought I was going to be burdened anyway. My brother is going to work here in the morning allowing me to sleep in, and then one of his wife's friends is going to come in to hang out with her.

I might set up the hammock in the backyard if the weather is as nice as it was today and read my new book that Raul gave me, Glamarama by Bret Easton Ellis. You'll all recognize that name as the author of Rules of Attraction starring Dawson. I really liked that book, and I've been told I will like this one even more so I'm excited about that. David27 wants to read it too so I thought I could knock it out during the couple days that I'm here.

My brother's computer is really cool. He has cable internet and he can watch TV on his computer! How cool is that? I am sitting here watching MTV in the upper lefthand corner and updating my page at the same time. He said you can record TV too, so if a good video comes on, I'm going to record it. Oh, maybe that hilarious HEB commercial I've only seen once in my life will come on and I can record it for all of you. That's probably not going to happen, though. I just checked to see if he had Kazaa so I could update my songs but he does not. I wanted to get The Maps "Yeah, yeah, yeah." I think that's the correct name. Anyway, I'm just rambling cause I don't have a lot else to do and no one else to talk to. I guess I'll go whore around on melo or something now. I should be on IMs while I'm here so hit me up if I'm active. Laaaaaaaaaaaate.

Lazy days

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

I'm really only updating to benefit my dear friend, Allison, who is up in Virgina for Spring Break and is feeling out of the loop. Fact of the matter is, there's no loop to be out of. I have not done a damn thing for the past few days but slump over on the couch in a slightly catatonic state staring at home improvement and cooking shows.

I had another amalgamation of two of my favorite things in the world. If you'll recall, the first time this happened was when I found out that John Denver did duets with the Muppets. Then, only recently, Lisa Loeb got her own TV show on the Food Network. And now, Dean Johnson, host of PBS's Hometime, is doing infomercials!!1! I fucking love infomercials. I would rather watch a good infomercial than a 30 minute sit-com any day ... any day. And now one of my heroes is hocking the "Little Giant" fully adjustable ladder. Sure, it's a little more expensive than a discount store ladder, but can you really put a price on your safety?

I think I am going to depart today for Houston. My brother's wife recently had some complications with her pregnancy. She has to be on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy (which is hopefully going to be a full 4 months). Since I'm an old pro at being in bed 24 hours a day, I thought I might be able to help out a little while my brother's at work during the day. Or as his wife put it, "Help feed and water her." I'll probably be there until Friday and then its back to CS and Spring Break is over. It sure has flown by. I might need to take another one before graduation. Speaking of graduation, all of my siblings are going to come. I am really excited now. Alright, you sluts, I will catch you on Friday.

All my exes live in Texas

Sunday, March 14, 2004

The onset of Spring Break is upon us, my dear viewers. Shortay! We fend to go to the club and get krunk with Britney. I started off the break by taking a brief jaunt to Austin with some friends. Raul knew of a couple of birthday parties there that we could attend, so we did just that with Marshall (very much against his will) and David27 in tow. After a late start, we made really good time to Austin ... due in no small part to my superior navigation skills.

We stopped off at Jenny's apartment to get ready. It was her birthday party we would eventually end up at. She was very sweet to let us not only take over her bedroom and bathroom on her birthday evening, but spend the night on her floor. After primping, fighting over the hat, and a couple hearty belts of whiskey, we were on our way to our first destination. It was Tracy's 18th birthday, and it was being held at an apartment with a very large enclosure for around 30 mice/gerbil things. I don't know, but there were rodents in the living room ... and an injured baby squirrel in a box. Charming. Chris was there. And despite having called to make sure I was going to be in attendance, seemed less than enthused that I had come. The keg was Shiner but since Marshall doesn't drink beer, he was becoming increasingly despondent, so we had to act fast. Raul, the responsible driver, decided he wanted to get drunk, so 27 was at the helm.

Jenny's party was at a large house with two kitchens. There were green lights everywhere, and a person blowing fire and spinning large sticks on fire in the backyard. He never once caught the damn thing ... sub-par at best. But there was an ample supply of liquor, and we all partook in it greatly. 27 got drunk. It was the first time I'd ever seen him drink enough to get drunk, and let's just say it was interesting. Leslie is coming into town on Friday and he has promised to give us another show on that night. Brandon was party hopping around town during this time and was able to drop off at our party for a little bit to say hello. I haven't seen that kid in damn near a year. He seemed rather pleased to see me as well.

While Marshall, 27 and I got drunk, Raul sobered up to take us home. He would NOT take us to Whataburger on the way home even though it was totally on the way. If you know me, you know that I simply must have a bacon, egg 'n cheese taquito before bed when I'm drunk or heads roll. So 27 and I took the initiative, remembered where it was, and fucking walked there in the middle of the night. It was too much fun. We got a ride home though from two people who were also staying at Jenny's. When we woke up we ate at Macaroni Grill ... well, actually, Raul and Jenny ate. 27, Marshall and I just sat and drew on the table drinking water. I drew a delightful picture of me throwing up with my head in a toilet. I don't think the waitress liked me. The help never has a sense of humor, I swear!

Tonight we're taking it easy. I just woke up in time to watch Arrested Development, the best TV show every made. I think Marshall, Justin and Thommi are on their way over to 27's to watch some movie called Waking Life. I think its a fucked up movie, but who knows, there's a chance I would enjoy it. I'll keep you all posted. If anybody has something ultra fun to do this week, be sure to invite me (and pay for me). Thanks.

What really tans my hide…

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

As it turns out, I really don't know how to tan. In fact, I was going to attempt to photograph my ineptitude, but the problem seems to have faded, so I'll illustrate for you again. I got a membership at Total Tan for 25 bucks for a month. So far I've only been twice, but I've fucked it up twice now. Every time I get out of the bed, my body is a splotchy, nasty red, white and tan neopolitan mess. That's not sexy. Maybe one of these days I'll figure it out.

This morning I had a missed call at 8:10am from a private number. Only two people I know use private numbers. One of them is my old boss, but he knows better than anyone that this guy wouldn't be awake at 8:10am since thats when I was supposed to be at work every day and I'd roll in around noon usually. The other is our dear Yalie friend, Chris, whom I normally wouldn't suspect, but he is supposed to be coming home today for a few days. Again though, why would he call so early and not leave a message? More than likely what we have on our hands here is some sort of telemarketer riling up my imagination.

Got a lot to do this week. Have a couple projects due on friday. Spent 10 and a half hours in one chair yesterday working on a program. Normally I wouldn't have spent so long working on it but it was just one of those days where everything was just going right. I was really making great progress and didn't want to stop and come back on a day when everything would just be going wrong, because those certainly are easier to come by. I went and had a beer with Bo over at Fitzwilly's around 11:00. That was so delicious esp. since I hadn't eaten all day. I'm fasting this week. Anyway, I suppose I should go wash off this brown sugar and get headed to campus.

One last foot note. David27 found a zippo lighter in my couch cushions that says "TAMU OUTLAW '03 CORPS OF CADETS" on its sides. It's not that I desperately want to return this to its rightful owner, I'm just dying to know who the closet corps boy is, because if I'm gonna have a corps boy in my house I need to at least know who he is ahead of time. So if it's yours, fess up, soldier. Laaaaaaaaaate.

Best weekend ever

Monday, March 8, 2004

When last we left our intrepid hero, we found him in the throws of Keystone admidst strangers. Let us now discuss everything that has occurred ... from blackout to blackout. Ryan S■■■ left Dallas with three friends in tow -- Aaron, Aric and Brett. None of the three had ever been to College Station or anywhere nearly as cosmopolitan. They were expecting a cow town, and while we certainly are one, we did our best to restrict their visit to my apartment, HEB, Halo, and Johnny Carino's. In other words, no Dixie Chicken, Duddleys, Shadow Canyon, Chicken Oil Co. (or any Don Gainer owned, shotty wooden construction establishments).

I was over at 27's apartment when they arrived, but had left Owen with a phone number where I could be reached, since I had cleverly forgotten my phone at home. Once we arrived, we had a lot of fun ordering pizza, drinking beers (and Smirnoffs *shakes head disappointedly*), and inviting everyone we knew over. Even our dear friend Christina L■■■ from my major dropped by and ended up going to the club with us. My shirt from the Gap was still too big so I just wore the graphic T I had originally purchased as an undershirt. Many hours later, a large group of us were ready to get our drink on ... and we did just that. Aaron, the bartender, was very nice to us ... even giving us a free round of shots that I vaguely, vaguely remember. I had gone in with the vocalized goal of getting too drunk, a goal I never fail to meet. Several vodka tonics later, things get a little hazy. I know that we spent the night dancing erratically.

On the way home, we stopped off at Whataburger to get some taquitos. This is just a given for me, I always stop at Whataburger, but it has become a sort of College Station activity for Ryan S■■■, and he wanted to share it with his crew. And I guess us talking about it got everyone in the mood, as is evidenced by the many, many fast food bags strewn about my living room. I'm not entirely clear on the rest of the night's activities. I know I drank a few more beers and woke up with no bruises ... so it couldn't have been too crazy. Let's just say "the sun came up on us" because it did. Which I hate. Off to sleep in a massive heap on the floor because some party poopers had crashed early in my bed.

The next afternoon, the grogginess starts to fade as we're motivated to stand up and drive to Johnny Carinos (which is literally across the street, a stone's throw from my apartment). I wasn't quite ready to eat, so I got a box for mine -- so trashy, I love it. Dallas boys bid adieu, 27 and I immediately went back to bed. My sleeping schedule is so wiggity whack ya'll. And my apartment looks like a train wreck ... provided that train had been carrying an assortment of empty beer cans, bottles, and fast food wrappers. Maybe I'll remedy that today ... or maybe it'll still be here the next time the Dallas boys come party.

There is a tentative plan to make our own pilgrimage to Dallas to live it up with them. I've been out in Dallas with Ryan S■■■ many times, so I know that these country bumpkins from south Texas would absolutely love it. I will surely let you all know when that date is afoot. Until then, thanks to everyone who partied with me this weekend, you all uniquely enhanced my fun that had already runneth over. Later, have nots, have a good week.

Ohhhh emmmm geeee

Saturday, March 6, 2004

I got that outfit I wanted, but when I got home the shirt was fucking huge so I couldn't wear it. We got ready anyway and went to see Starsky and Hutch. I didn't bust out crazy laugh at all but I did laugh constantly through the whole movie. I would suggest it to all of you. The movie ran a little late so we had to call Christopher's to push our reservation back about 20 minutes. We went home and freshened up and then it was off to the restaurant.

Ohhhh emmmm geeee. We started off at the bar enjoying a couple glasses of wine while we waited for our table to be ready. There was a live jazz trio that was pretty cool. Our table was ready after only a short wait so we took a seat. We were so prim and proper all sitting up with correct posture and everything. It was so fun. Allison ordered the mediterranean salmon and I had a duck breast in a blueberry sauce. Holy fuck. You can't imagine how wonderful the food was. It came with all kinds of vegetable sides -- mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, some kind of greens, rice, and these little sweet potato crispy things. That's all I can remember. Needless to say it was fucking decadent. We also treated ourselves to a bottle of 2000 Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon. It was definitely not the cheapest bottle available, but not nearly the most expensive either. Delicious! Just when we thought we couldn't eat another byte, they had to bring around the dessert cart. A raspberry chocolate truffle?! Give me a break. I will do anything for raspberries. It was incredible. Allison's said "Happy Birthday from Christopher's" in chocolate around the edge of the plate. Very classy. Thank you for taking me, Allison!

We could barely move after the meal was over. Allison was out for the count, going home to go to bed, but I had social obligations. I was supposed to go that concert with Marshall. Unfortunately, I was too full to do anything. David27 came over and I slowly but surely got ready to go out. Sometime after midnight we finally ended up at Halo, had a few drinks, met up with Marshall, Sonia and Chevy, and then went home.

When we got home Owen was complaining that someone in the parking lot was playing Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" entirely too loud, so me and 27 went to tell them to shut up. It was two girls jammin out in a car after coming from Northgate. As it turned out, it was Erin, the girl that I got into an accident with in my parking lot. She was with her friend Courtney and they invited us to go back to Erin's apartment to party with them. She lives in the apartment like next to mine but upstairs. It was so close. We took some beer with us and sat on her porch drinking and smoking cigarettes and bullshitting. They were so cute and fun. They said they want to go out with us tonight to Halo and I'm totally going to invite them. I will have to let you all know how that turns out. Ryan S■■■ is currently en route to College Station with 3 Dallas boys in tow. Tonight is sure to be crazy. More on that, after this....

It’s fuckin’ Friday!

Friday, March 5, 2004

This Friday is uber special. First off, I didn't go to class this morning. While there may be ramifications dealing with this oversight at a later date, it sure did make today more fun. So I just rolled out of bed at like 2pm and took a bubble bath. I spoil myself so. Now that I'm all clean, Thommi just asked me to go work out with him. Whatev, just an excuse to take another bath. Then we're gonna go to the mall and get me this new outfit I want that was out of my size when I last looked. So I'll be lookin fly tonight because ...

Tonight is my date with Allison for her birthday. She got her hair did and got a new outfit to wear. So we're both gonna be lookin spiffy. And we're going to Christopher's on someone else's tab. Wahoo. But before we go to dinner, we're going to go see Starsky and Hutch. Oh shit, I just realized I'm gonna be cuttin it close here with the time. Oh well. After the movie we're going to the Groove with Marshall to see Skyler Blue ... some local band that a guy he works with is in. They're supposed to be pretty good. Good enough for me to waste a cover charge to go see them, thats for sure.

Anyway, I hope you are all having as wonderful of a day as I am. It's not easy bein the Sidesho ... but somebody's gotta do it. Peace out, have nots!

Twenty-Seven of my favorite things

Thursday, March 4, 2004

I am so lucky. I'll give you twenty-seven guesses as to why but you'll only need one. These past couple weeks have been some of the best in recent memory. It's nice to have a constant partner in crime who likes to sit and watch home improvement shows and smoke too many cigarettes. I'll rip your face off and chop it in a million pieces.

In other news, Allison made reservations for us to eat at Christopher's on Friday. For those of you from out of town, Christopher's is the only nice restaurant in like a 100 mile radius. I'm really excited cause I've never eaten there before. Her parents said we could go eat there as a birthday present. Get excited! Then she bought tickets for us to see Starsky and Hutch but I already promised Marshall I would go see this band play at the Groove. We're gonna have to remedy that situation. I talked to Marshall and he was cool with it even though he said he wouldn't be if I tried to back out. But whateryagonnado? For my graduation Allisons parents are gonna pay for us to eat at Messina Hof. How fun is that? Maybe I should remind my parents that they didn't get Allison a graduation present and see if we can go to P.F. Changs in Houston or something.

I really want to go shopping before all the boys from Dallas get here on Saturday but I doubt I'm gonna have a chance. Ryan S■■■ had so much fun during his night here out at Halo that he convinced like 10 of his friends from Dallas to come down and stay in a motel and get shitcanned College Station style. We're gonna be sure to show them how we do. Chevy is coming into town on unrelated business so I'm sure she (and hopefully Ms. Sonia as well) will join us in our revelry. If anybody else wants to join in just let me know. I'm planning on drinking on Saturday from about 7pm until about 5am. Which means this one will be on beer all night as to monitor my alcohol intake, since Aaron always tries to kill me and almost always nearly succeeds.

It's like 5am and Im just now starting to get to bed. Shouldn't have taken that nap tonight after waking up at 2pm. Oh well, I had fun doing it ... SO fun. Catch you sluts lata.

My name is Zoon and I live on the moon

Tuesday, March 2, 2004

Hey, Allison. It's your birthday. Hey, Allison. It's your birthday ... today! Happy 23rd Allison, I love you!

In other news, I was crusin around today with the birthday girl. We went to eat lunch at Souper Salad. Took us a good hour, which you know was trouble with the all-you-can-eat buffet. Then we decided to go to Wal-Mart to see if they had little shelves we could put in our bathrooms since Bed Bath & Beyond only had like 40 dollar chrome ones. Well, first we stopped off at Total Tan so I could get a membership but the girl was a bitch so I left without filling out the paper work. The big news though is that George Bush East is OPEN! Omega this is going to make it so much easier to get EVERYWHERE from my apartment. I am so completely stoked.

I have this vague feeling that I was the first car to drive on the newly opened road. They had just moved the baracades and there were still DoT cars on either side of it. And as we drove down, people who live on that street were out in front of their houses jumping up and down and cheering. We cheered, honked, and waved. It was too much fun.

Tonight I have a lab to attend. Blech. I'm kind of giving myself this week off as much as I can on account of having to do shit last week. But then Allison and gang are going out to Ninfa's. Even though I loathe Ninfa's and enjoy it even less on Tuesday nights when all the second rate frat boys and girls overtake the place, I am totally going. I'll just have to down a few drinks right when I get there to soothe myself. Then who knows what will happen. Do you ask where a shooting star will fall? Peace out, you have nots.

Mercy me

Monday, March 1, 2004

This is more of a pity update than anything. I realize that I haven't been very dedicated to the SVC this week even though a lot has happened. I have much to break down for you, but for now let's just hit the highlights. First, and foremost, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LESLIE! I tried to call her today and see how she was durrin, but she didn't answer. Hope it was wonderful. Tomorrow is Allison's birthday which will have me occupied for the whole night, if not the whole day as well.

The symphony was pretty cool. They played selections from Tchaikovsky and Chopin. The piano was beautiful. I dunno though... she was called the 'Nora Jones' of classical piano. I think that was completely inaccurate. She was just a really accomplished pianist ... and was impregnito at the same time. Now that takes talent.

This weekend was all about mixing business and pleasure. We had our mid-term presentation for my senior project today. We really weren't prepared for it so I spent almost every waking hour of the weekend working on designing a couple of printed circuit boards for our project. I managed to slip out in time to get drunk both Friday and Saturday, which was a blessing. I even kept myself under control, which I got a lot of props for ... getting props for not falling down drunk ... sign #236 you are an alcoholic.

Anyway, I won't keep you in suspense. Our presentation went really well. It's over now. My head hurts. My shoulders hurt. Yet I have a beer and 27 is on his way. Things are definitely looking up. More on that ... after this.

SideshoViD vs. Mothra

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

I'm sick as a dog. The idiots at the quack shack said it was some kind of throat infection and gave me the same generic medicine they always do. Oh well, maybe it will help. Might as well take it. I didn't sleep a wink last night. I ended up taking a bath at like 5am cause I was so achy and sweating. Today's not much better. Enough pissing and moaning though. Pity me!

I was laying on the couch before my 12:45 yesterday and I noticed a moth on the wall near me. I thought nothing of it. He's welcome to chill there. But then when I came home after my lab at like 8:00 he was still in the exact same spot. I don't mind moths but I hate lazy moths. So I decided to capture him.

I put a cup on the wall, tapped him into it and then placed a coaster over the opening. Then I had a flash of evil genius. I decided to set up a Bond-esque death trap. I opened the lid just enough to allow a drop of water through it and placed it under the faucet. It was dripping slow enough to allow him time to escape, but he was going to have to time it just right. He waited until the last possible moment, the water was encroaching his wings, and then made a break for it. I attempted to squash him but he got away, so I let him go. Owen, Marshall, and I were enthralled. Okay, I was, but they also watched. Then Marshall took me to the mall and bought me some chinese food and ice cream. Rad!

In other news, my brother found out that his unborn baby is a girl. I tried to help him out and give some good suggestions for names. They were thinking about Kaylynn Elizabeth. I figured since she is going to be my brother's daughter, that she's already gonna be the whitest little girl on the planet. It might be a good idea to spice her up a little with an ethnic moniker. My suggestions were:
1. Reshawnda
2. Wei Le (but we would call her Jenny)
3. Consuala
I like them all but I think Consuala might be my favorite. And as an added bonus, it might help her get scholarships later. You never knows. Tonight Thommi and I are going to see some Russian chick play piano with the Russian symphony orchestra. I'll let you you all know how that goes. Peace.

Mardi Gras? More like Mardi Ivre

Monday, February 23, 2004

I'm sitting in my apartment listening to my heart attempt to jump out of my chest. I'm pretty freaked out because someone just tried to open my front door. I never lock the door, but just so happened to do it tonight. Thank jebus. Justin is on his way over here so I can get some peace of mind and have a looksee outside. As it stands right now I'm too scared to look. I thought blogging might put my mind at ease. There is much to talk about, and I shall type it in between paranoid perceptions of twigs snapping beneath imagined burgler's boots.

Friday night was Boys 'n Beads, the Mardi Gras party. Marshall had spent the few previous days making masks out of stolen supplies from Hobby Lobby. I knew Marshall was crafty, but damn, I was impressed with his skills with the feathers and glue. The one I made looked like a retarded 3rd grader had done it. He fixed it a little bit for me. I still looked like Ms. Finch from Follow That Bird. It all paid off cause Marshall won 3rd place in the costume contest and was awarded a 50 dollar bar tab, which you just know I was all over. I ended up getting way too drunk, as I always do. Excess is my middle name. There was much dancing, much revelry, much too much vodka in my drinks. Sometimes I think Aaron, the bartender, derives some sick pleasure from watching me get wasted. Luckily our pal David#27 was there, and sober, and driving, and took care of me. I passed out as soon as I got home and woke up hungover like a muthafucka. It's all good though because I got to wear my new hangover mask from Bed, Bath & Beyond. It's this gel mask that you put in the fridge. Omega, it was heavenly. Made my hangover an absolutely enjoyable experience.

Skip ahead to Saturday. Marshall's bar tab awaited us, so we got dolled up and went out again. Why on earth do I drink like I do? It's so stupid. I'm drinking double vodka and vodkas and accepting shot after shot. We had to pull over again this weekend so yours truly could nearly roll out of the car whilst vomiting. Again, I passed out as soon as I got home. In other news, someone had spread the word that the afterparty was at my place. Wrong. Owen got woken up and had to tell them all to leave. I felt bad about that, even though it kind of in a way wasn't my fault. Moderation. Someday I will learn it.

Justin just left after we made sure no one was outside my apartment. I still have the door locked and the chain on. Seeing as how its almost 3 and I'm never gonna get up for class tomorrow, I don't think I'll even set my alarm. I'm just gonna read and then fall asleep. I've decided to re-read Clan of the Cave Bear for the umpteenth time. Watching the movie just totally put me in the mood. You should all get a copy and read it cause it's the best story ever. Alright, peace out, you have-nots, and stop fucking trying to open my front door.

Fuck a bunch of marriage

Friday, February 20, 2004

Sonia was writing an article for the Battalion today (our school newspaper) over gay marriage, so naturally she wanted my opinion on the issue. I think my initial quote was, "Fuck a bunch of marriage," but since that doesn't exactly translate well to print without the inflections, we worked to reword it a tad. This is what it came out as:

David F■■■■, a senior electrical engineering technology major, said he believes same-sex marriages should be legalized. He believes the constitution grants the right, and also doesn't believe that marriage is sacred anymore.

"If marriage (between a man and a woman) is so sacred then explain the high divorce rates," F■■■■ said.

I'm in print! Now all that's left to do is get my picture on the front. With friends like Sonia, I think I can see that happening. She's an absolute doll and I love her. RAWK!

Crazy Campus Characters

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

I always try to turn people I see on campus into internet celebrities. Usually I save them in my back pocket for slow days when I have very little to talk about. However, they've accumulated over time, so I need to introduce you all to four of my favorite new people...

The Bus Talker: This delightful fellow sports acne scarred skin, buzzed hair, and a lazy eye. He wears slacks that are 4 inches too short, and always sports some sort of free T-shirt. A real ladies' man. And as the name suggests, he never, ever shuts the fuck up on the bus. The worst part is, he tells the same story ... every day. I've now heard this story like 5 times. And he always sits next to the hottest girl on the bus and strikes up this conversation with her. He saved up for two years to earn $3,000 to go to Italy. While he was there he stayed at all 4 and 5 star hotels and ate in only the fanciest restaurants. He especially liked the shopping because he's a-really into-a the-a Versace. Oh yeah, he does it all with a fake accent deserving of a performance on Loony Tunes.

Medieval Friar: When I first saw this guy, I thought perhaps we should try to hook him up with cape girl, but upon second viewing and further inspection, I realized what he has on isn't at all a cape. It is indeed something you might expect to see an extra in the B version of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves wearing. He was also wearing a bandana on his head which just completed the look. I kind of wanted to engage him in a bow fight in the middle of a river. "There was a rich man from Nottingham..."

Bluehawk: I just saw this guy today for the first time and fell instantly in love. He's not really someone I want to make fun of, I more want to shake his hand. He has the best mohawk I have ever seen, and it is tall, and real, and blue. I thought he might be easy for you people with camera phones to spot.

Nerf Herder: This guy is better suited to be an extra on the digitally remastered Star Wars than a student at A&M. I wouldn't make fun of him if he hadn't made my morning a living hell. He is short, mentally and physically handicapped, only uses one arm, has the mange, and always hobbles around with a suitcase on wheels. This morning when the bus was completely packed shoulder to shoulder, he decided to stand facing me instead of the front of the bus. And he decided to stare at my face the entire time. Oh yeah, he also decided to not brush his teeth this morning and breathe on me the whole way. Luke, use the force, run to Degoba.

As with our previous characters Cape Girl and Padawan Boy ... neither of whom have been capture on film yet, I will pay cold hard cash to anyone who sends me any pictures of any of these people. This is not a bluff, I will totally pay you for pictures. Get out there and snap photos! Easy money! AAAHHH!

Fucking Leeches: Blood Sucking Tow Trucks

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Omega, I fucking hate tow trucks. What fucking purpose do they serve? There are 40 empty parking spaces in a row and they have the nerve to come and try to tow the one guy who is here visiting me. They are the lowest of the low, the modern day untouchables. If I saw a towfuck crossing the street I wouldn't brake. To hear about my past personal experience with getting towed, please revisit Monday, September 9, 2002: "Got fucking towed".

So anyway, David#27 came over because we were highlighting Allison's hair (which turned out great despite her zero confidence in my abilities with all things hair). We were chilling on the couch when he was like, "Is that my alarm?" He looked through my window and then sprinted out the door. I followed soon after with his sandals to find him talking to my most hated enemy, my hyena, the tow truck driver. The guy said if we gave him 40 dollars in cash that he would put the car back on the ground. I think thats extortion and I'm pretty sure its against the rules, but fuck it, its better than driving halfway across the state to pay 100 bucks. And since I didn't have my gun (I believe its legal to shoot him in Texas to protect property) we gave him 40 bucks.

I just doesn't seem fair. But I don't want to go further into that rant again. I just hate tow trucks, omega, I hate tow trucks. I complained to the management but they looked at me like I was crazy. I'd rather hike a mile in the snow to my apartment because all the spots are gone than to contribute one dirty fucking dollar towards feeding anyone low enough to drive a tow truck.

On a lighter note, I just got an AOL trial CD in the mail. Allison and I have always loved the random word combination passwords they give you. The two I got today (which I think Alfie would probably list as band names for the day) are NEPHEW-GNAWER and EARFUL-EXAM. Wonderful. Well I'm off to build a Digital to Analog Converter, design an Equipment Interface PC Board, polish off the Internet-Based System User Interface, and prepare for our Technical Advisory Team presentation tomorrow. Busy, busy, busy... HA!

Valentine’s Day ’04 style

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Shut the fuck up. I'm going to punch you in the face. I just wanna rip your face off and step on it, squeeze you til your head pops off. These are all compliments if you happen to hear them come from D27's mouth. I learned that, some people haven't. Last night was fun. I wore red because I don't hate Valentine's Day, and I don't refer to it as 'Singles Awareness Day,' because people who do are pathetic. It's a Hallmark holiday. It's just another reason to dress a certain way and get tanked ... like easter, St. Patrick's Day, or christmas.

I just cleaned out some trash from my bedroom. There were two cups of iced tea on my nightstand that Josh and Ryan left there like 3 weeks ago. They had grown their own civilizations while I left them unattended. I'm surprised I haven't gotten sick from just sleeping near them. When I emptied them out in the sink, I almost hurled. I can't handle rotten stuff, weird huh? But the sight of fungus flowing out made me ill. And the smell. God it smelled like pestilence ... pestilence with a twist of lemon.

I just took a couple of loads of clothes (a fraction of what I need to wash) to the laundry room. Someone had rearranged the letters on those little black and white signs. Now instead of describing the prices and specials on certain times of the week, it reads: SMOKE WEED EFERIDAY. I'm not sure why I laughed out loud when I saw it. People can be so clever sometimes. That's all I've got.

Leslie’s homeless person experience

Saturday, February 14, 2004

I'm not sure how it happens, but week after week I manage to find myself in hilarious situations that always involve mass consumption of alcoholic beverages. Last night I found myself shitcanned at Halo once again. Aaron was working downstairs and I guess he was bored or something. He was making my cape cods completely out of vodka. I only had 3 drinks the whole time we were there and I was fall-down drunk. He also made us some shots just to pass the time. I played two games of pool with Surge. I haven't played pool in so long. I scratched on the 8 ball in the first game, and won the second. Not too shabby.

I'm not real clear on the details of leaving the club, but I know that Leslie, Marshall, and I all went to David#27's house. He drove my car with Leslie in the backseat. After a brief stop on the side of the road for yours truly to regurgitate the evening, we arrived at our destination. Now I remember Marshall and Leslie being with us, but when I woke up this morning the apt was empty. I asked David#27 where they were and he said, "Well, Marshall is in my roommate's bed and Leslie slept in your car." WHAT?! It was like 11:00 by this point and Leslie always wakes up earlier. The kicker was that David#27 had brought her purse in so no one would steal it, so she had no keys, no phone, and no idea which apt we were in. Hilarious.

As soon as I figured out what had happened, I rushed downstairs to get her. She was sitting ever so calmly in the backseat. When I tapped on the window her only response was to turn and flick me off. She was freezing even though David#27 (after desperately trying to convince her to come inside, and making a meager attempt to drag her ass out of the car) had given her a pillow and a blanket. Hilarious. I laughed so hard this morning as we rehashed the events leading up to it. That's really the best thing that happened all night, even though a lot else happened.

Happy Valentine's Day, sluts. Take your date to the Olive Garden.

Hair today, gone tomorrow

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Ahh, what a week this has been. I haven't been to class all week. I place the blame squarely on jesus. I did make it to yoga today though, because as you all know, I do not miss yoga for any reason. Now I'm back on my signiture couch vegging out. I'm watching T3 again. I watched it last night with Raul, Tommy and David, but we didn't really pay attention. It has been out from Blockbuster for SO long now, but it's on Tommy's account so no worries here. I really should get it back at some point. We also watched Circuit. Believe it or not, I didn't like this movie despite the title. There wasn't one integrated circuit, resistive network, soldering iron, or pc board in the entire movie.

Today after yoga this girl came up to me and said, 'Hey do you ever hang out at Revolutions.' And by god, I do. She said she recognized my hair from the other weekend and wanted to tell me that she liked it. I hawked it today for the first time since the bleach incident. I've been kind of scared to put a flat iron to it in fear that it would just melt off.

Since the incident I've been doing just about everything I can to get my hair back to ... well, hair status. First I bought some shampoo and conditioner specifically designed for bleached, fried hair. That's helping a little bit. Then I did a protein pack on it, that was really good, I might need to buy a couple more of those. Finally, I got some Infusium leave in conditioner. All of this together, Pesci willing, will give me back the hair I once had. Wish me luck, have-nots. Back to T3...

Skunk stripe? Try bald spot…

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

So I decided tonight that my skunk stripe isn't what it used to be. The roots had started growing in and the blonde was severely faded, giving my hair almost a natural look ... which you all know I hate. So I decided to get my stylist, Ryan, back over here to bleach out my skunk stripe again. Only this time I decided I wanted it fucking WHITE. To achieve this, I left the bleach in my hair for a solid 45 minutes. And this is the Frost 'n Glow of yesteryears for dark brown hair.

Well there it is. I achieved my goal of getting it white, however, I'm afraid that it might be falling out. My friend David (WHO IS SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME, YOU HALF WITS!) is over here monitoring the drying process and keeps telling me that its falling out. Then he tells me that its fine. Then he says its falling out. I'm freaking out.

If it holds together, it will look really cool. If it all falls out I'm going to have to shave my head. This could be catastrophic to the fox hawk. I will certainly keep you all posted. Pray for me (in Keith's case, that will be to Joe Pesci ... but whoever you pray to works). Thanks, you have-nots, catch you on the flip side.

Ryan S Day

Sunday, February 8, 2004

I'm not sure where to begin this blog. There is much to say about the past 24 hours. The first thing I did was take an ultra long time getting ready. The SideshoGang was all out at Margarita Rocks and wanted me to join them but I opted for a cucumber melon bubble bath instead. After a really long soak and getting my hair delightfully hawked, I stopped off at Allison's for her dessert & wine soiree. I stayed long enough for some strawberry cheesecake and a glass of merlot.

From there, I headed over to David's to get dressed, Tommy's to pick up some clothes I left there, Mosher Circle to pick up Sonia, and back home to get some shoes and wait for the arrival of my dear friend Ryan S■■■. He drove in from Dallas and arrived around 11 o'clock raring to go out on the town. Of course, we dropped by Allison's one more time so she could see Ryan and then headed out to Halo. Ryan came just short of his goal of dropping 100 bucks at the bar, which meant many beers and shots for the two of us, as well as anyone in the immediate vicinity.

After sufficient intoxication and dancing resulting in bruises, we headed back to James's for more of the same. I had a blast last night, and I know Ryan S■■■ did too. We went to Fazoli's today to eat and go to witness a car jump the median, run over a tree, and speed through the parking lot. It was very random.

Oh, and the big news of the hour: The Olive Garden burned down. Information PLEASE.

Update: Now the fucking train derailed over by Tommy's apartment. WTF is going on in College Station today?

Extree! Extree!

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Pertinent information for everyone to know? Let's see. I backed into my neighbor in the parking lot. Or we backed into each other, rather. Her name is Erin. She was a delightful girl with a scratched up, cracked bumper. I bought the Nelly Fruit-ado CD because I want to be like Marshall. I saw Flock of Seagulls reunite. They weren't as good as they used to be and their hair is nowhere near its former radness. I almost went out like that the other night. Ryan S■■■ gets to meet Cameron F■■■ in 4 weeks and I am jealous. Tommy and I started working out, my chest and triceps are very sore. And I haven't smoked in three days. I lost my job at the space center, damn politics. But I already scored a new profession in the web design business once I learn how to do what these rich old men want. My new songs of the day all fucking rawk. I talked to Steve-o last night for the first time in months. He works at Central Market in Austin and has a mohawk. My professor sent out an email to have an impromptu class period today. Is he allowed to do that? I'm already tired of school even though I've only been to about 1.5 total hours of class. I can't stay awake for more than 30 minutes. My wonderful yoga teacher from last semester forced me back into her class. She is lovely. Peace, I'm outta here.

And the party must stop

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

School starts tomorrow afternoon. I have one class and a lab, and I guess I'm gonna go back to work. I dunno, I sure do hate work, but I am so fucking broke its not even funny. Let me see if I can even remember all of the shit that has gone down in the past few days. First off, my cell phone has been working for a while now. I stole a charger from Aaron's apartment while he was out of town. I think it may have been mine though, but either way, I'm back in business and hating it as usual. I know I've said this far too many times before, but based on the conversations I've had in the past few days, I'm just going to briefly reiterate ... I fucking hate talking on the phone. It makes me want to cut my eyes out with a spoon. Because its dull, you twit, it'll hurt more! So if you're just calling to see 'whassup' then don't. And if you're calling for a reason, keep it short and to the point. I would really, really appreciate it.

So anyway, back to the narration. Thursday and Friday, we went out to Halo as usual. Despite my announcement that I was completely partied out and most definitely not going to drink, I got shitcanned both nights. There was much vodka consumed, and much dancing. Nothing severely out of the ordinary. Saturday, I had promised Tommy weeks ago that I would go to Houston with him. I don't usually leave town, and if I do, I need like some serious emotional preparation in order to do so. I mean, despite the fact that my wallet is almost rotted in two, I still haven't gotten a new one because I'm not emotionally ready to commit to a new wallet. Thats the kind of person I am. Very much about the rut, and any deviation from said rut is stressful. But Tommy gave me ample time to prepare so to Houston we went. It was quite traumatic, I'm not gonna lie. We went to South Beach with Todd and I managed to have fun once I got a few drinks in me. They spray liquid nitrogen onto the dance floor in this huge cloud so thick you can't see two inches in front of your face and its really cold. And when you're hot from dancing it feels so good.

We finally got home around 4am. I slept the whole next day, never even made it home. By the time I woke up, Tommy had come home from work and was ready to go get something to eat. And then Aaron called me and said everyone was staying at his cousin's house in Houston and going to South Beach again. So despite the fact that by this point my body was REALLY beggin for rest, I agreed. So Tommy and I turned back around and got back on the road for Houston this time with Allison in tow. It was a blast again, especially because everyone from College Station was in attendance. Much fun, much alcohol, much dancing. Aaron's cousin lives in a mansion. It was too much fun. I didn't go to sleep until like 6am. I spent the day today cleaning up a little around the apartment and doing some laundry. Its time to stop having fun, go to school and work every day, and then graduate and the fun is REALLY over. Sigh. Good night, fuckers, hope everyone has a good first day. Leave me a comment letting me know how it went.

Be careful what you wish for

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

I cured that whole problem with sobriety last night. Leslie and I went to dinner at the Outback. My steak was so rare and delicious. I'm getting misty thinking about it again. Anyway, we had a bottle of wine with dinner and it was so good that Leslie decided we needed to drink wine. Since 'moderation' is a word that exists in none of our vocabularies, we went ahead and bought 18 bottles of wine, and then set about trying to finish them off. We got on the horn and invited a few people over. According to eye witness testimony, I passed out around 2am. I know that somewhere around 5, I randomly awoke, popped up off the floor, drank some more with the people who were still around, and then went to bed around 7.

For my alcoholic apptitude, I was awarded with a massive wine hangover. Tommy, Leslie, and I went to lunch at Olive Garden and it was all I could do to keep from hurling as my lasagna sat on a plate in front of me. To make it even worse, Leslie was drinking wine. We only polished off 12 bottles the night before, so when we got home, her and Tommy set to drinking again. I couldn't. I had to fall asleep in the recliner for a while. Then we watched Uptown Girls. You have got to see this movie, it was so excellent. I fucking loved it. I'm gonna watch it again tomorrow. Well then people came over and brought with them ... you guessed it ... 10 bottles of wine. Omega. I could not bring myself to drink, and stayed sober the entire night. All I had was 2 glasses of water.

In other news, if you have tried to call me in the past couple of days you might have noticed that my phone is dead. It ran out of battery like two days ago, and I left my charger over at Aaron's apartment when we were getting ready one night, and now he left town until Thursday. I was able to break into his apartment and get a shirt I left over there, but I forgot to grab my phone charger. Long story short, I hate my phone so much anyway, and I'm not gonna miss any important calls, so I'm not worried about the charger. I'll get it when I get it. Hope it hasn't been too much of a hassle for anyone. If it is, you should have been IMing me anyway. It is way past time for bed now. Peace out home fries.

Sobriety sucks

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Remind me never to go out sober again. God, what a dumb thing to do. It was still fun, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't like riotous fun like usual. And all my friends were drunk, which is fine by me, I'm hardly one to complain, but motivating drunk people to do anything (i.e. leave the bar) is next to impossible. So we didn't end up getting home until like 3am and then we watched Splash. What a good movie.

In other news, I had the most delightful email the other day that truly made me feel special. It was from none other than our good friend Dennis DiClaudio. You might recognize his name from the Grammar Cop section of my website. I don't know how he found me, but he did and he sent me this message:

hi,
just wanted to email you quickly and let you know how honored i am that you've quoted me on your website. when i found that, i went around smiling for three days straight.
thanks a lot,
dennis diclaudio

How cool is that? I would email him back and let him know, but I still don't have outgoing email. I could totally get my outgoing POP server information from the people who do our internet here, but I am far too lazy and they are far too inept to even deal with. I hate email anyway. I think Leslie and I are going to go to the mall and return some shit and then meet up with Justino to chaw on some steaks. You all wish you were me. Ciao suckers.

Way too many stories to tell

Saturday, January 10, 2004

I don't even know where to begin. I had intended to make a large post detailing the cruise, but instead I'm just going to say that it was a total blast. 5 days was enough for me to be on a boat though. Cozumel and Calica, the two places we got off the boat, were both beautiful and warm. I drank a lot. Surprise!

Then I came home for a couple of days, and then had to hop in the Cavy and drive back to Dallas for my dentist appointment. I hadn't been to the dentist in over two years so I was sure there was going to be a cavity or something, but I was wrong. My teeth were perfect. They took like an assload of x-rays though. I met up with Chevy while I was in Plano cause I was at Starbucks by myself and I was bored. She was kind enough to keep me company. I've only met her in person once before, so all of our communication has been via the internet, mostly from my webpage. She's an avid reader. So she decided to ask me if I wear the 'foxhawk' a lot. Foxhawk. She saw fauxhawk and read it foxhawk. I was aghast. Just so everyone is clear on this issue, it's pronounced 'fo-hawk' like 'mo-hawk' but fake. Makes a lot more sense, doesn't it? Foxhawk ... Then, I came home to College Station after having dinner with my parents at the Cheesecake Factory. Yum.

Since then I've been doing a lot of drinking. Leslie and I have been the best looking people at the club two nights in a row, and its about to be three. On Thursday night we gave her a foxhawk like a picture of Carmen Electra that she has. I put a handful of pomade in her hair to make it all dirty. It was so cool. And then she went and got her hair cut in this stair step chop cut thing. Its hard to explain, but it is so cool and original. We got new outfits to accompany her new hair. I found some badass shirts at Express that were on clearance. Bonus. I showed up to lunch today with James since he was kind enough to carry me home last night and give me a couch to sleep on. What a good friend. I'm supposed to be out with friends right now but I feel like ass and I'm probably just gonna lay on the couch instead. Hope all is going well for all of you. Ciao.

A thousand pardons

Monday, January 5, 2004

Welcome loyal Sidesho-Viewers. I know that I haven't been very quick with the cruise, new years, travelling, etc. updates, but I assure that a long blog none of you will finish is on its way. It's just that so much has happened in the past week that its daunting to sit down and try to fit it into a few paragraphs.

The cruise was a blast. I have pictures to show you, but didn't get a chance to post them yet. I was finally honest. New Years was a blast. We drank free champagne and smoked Cuban cigars. Happy 2004 to all of you, resolve to check my webpage more often. Coming back to College Station was tumultous. I learned that despite my best efforts, maybe I am actually a mature and caring person, and managed to avoid what would have probably been one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

Now its time to return to Dallas. There's no reason for me to hang around here. It's not like I went to work today anyway. I have a dentist appointment on Tuesday and a possible cavity, so I don't want to miss that. Think of me often in the next few days, I know not when I will return. Thank you, and good night.

Merry Crima

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Well I'm back in College Station for a couple of days taking a sabatical from the holiday cheer of Plano. I was there for 3 days and that was enough for me. The first thing I did was put in my fake lip ring for when I first arrived. My mother went absolutely ballistic over it so I immediately had to reveal the joke whereas I had planned on wearing it all day. That kinda let some of the air out of my balloons, but it was still funny.

The next big fight was when I dared to walk down the stairs with my fauxhawk rawkin. My mother blew another gasket. She sure doesn't know how to pick her battles. Its not like we had company or anything, I was just going to sit around the house. So that was fun. I went upstairs and played guitar until my brother came home and took me with him to B&N. Oh speaking, the big news, I am going to be an uncle. Rachel, Stephen's wife, produced a couple sonogram pictures of the baby in her tummy. Thats exciting for us, even though she won't be able to participate in the booze cruise.

On Christmas we didn't exchange gifts, which, I gotta tell you, was the best Christmas I ever had. No shopping, no worrying, no wrapping, no fighting crowds ... just a family gettin together to play cards and drink liquor. I had my first taste of Courvoisier, and second, third, fourth, and fifth. I'd have to say I was a big fan. We played some Oh, Hell with everybody, ate some desserts with family friends and then went to bed.

The next day I went to see JennyC■■■ and her family. That's always fun. Then I went downtown to hang out with Ryan S■■■. We rode the rails to the Angelika Theater ... a new experience for me, v. classy. Then we ate at the cafe and saw 21 Grams. Worst movie ever ... don't go see it. Even though the movie was awful, I had a wonderful time. The next morning I woke up and drove home. And here I am. I spent last night drinking Coronas and Keystones with Josh 'n Tommy cause there was nothing else to do and nowhere else to go. It was fun.

Just thought I would fill you all in since I've been rather sparse in the updates in comparison to usual. I will be leaving tomorrow for the cruise and you won't hear from me until after the new year, so I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful new year full of drunken spirits and sloven kisses. Cheers!

Have a Dweezil & Lisa Holiday

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Well I hope everyone had a wonderful Solstice. I know I did. Now that my holiday season has come to a close, I would like to wish everyone celebrating Kwanzaa this year a wonderful time, as well as all my Jews in da house hittin up Channukah. I can't think of any other celebrations during the holidays, so if I forgot one, it must not count!

I am laying in bed right now. I woke up kinda early in comparison to recent days because I kept having horrible dreams. I had one that I don't remember, but I know I woke myself up by screaming. Then I had one where the Texas A&M Diving team was recruiting me, but they were gonna make me do a fancy dive off the top platform, and for some reason I agreed. Then I had one that I was lost in a school and every room I went into was more fucked up then the next. So I figured fuck it, I'll just stay awake.

As soon as I get off my ass, I am going to get in the car and drive back to Plano. I'll be there for a few days, and then back in CS for a couple days, and then its off to Galveston to get on the boat. Weeee.

I have some wonderful news for all of you. I am so excited I can barely sit still. I was watching the Food Network last night and there was a promo for a new show called Dweezil & Lisa. As if I had to clarify which Dweezil & Lisa they were referring to, its Dweezil Zappa and Lisa Loeb. They've been dating for some time now, and now they're going to host their own show on FoodTV! Holy crap! In case some of you don't know, I have been Lisa Loeb's biggest fan since like the 7th grade. There hasn't been this big of a merger of my interests since I found out John Denver played with the Muppets. It starts in January and you better believe I'll be watching every episode. Its a Solstice miracle. I love you all and I see you soon!

Gallleria (the extra L is for Leslie)

Friday, December 19, 2003

So I was supposed to go to Houston on Thursday to take pictures of furniture for my uncle, but he never got around to telling me when or where I needed to be. And Leslie had purchased a new outfit for the occasion at eluxury, but they fucked up her expressed shipping so that got ruined as well. I woke and messaged her to see if she still wanted to go to Houston just for the hell of it, and she totally did. So we stopped off at McAllisters (If you haven't tried this place yet, you are missing out. Make sure you get the tea, its incredible) for a quick lunch and then hit the highways for H-town.

We probably got to the Galleria around 4, I don't really remember. I only say that because I think we left around 3. Regardless, the first thing we did was go to Niemans to try and find the outfit that Les had tried to order online. Tweeds are so in right now, but I didn't really care for any of them. We never found the exact outfit she wanted, and while it was a different kind of tweed, I still think she might not have liked it in person when she got it. So we decided to hell with that. She ended up getting a sassy black dress with some flowers patterned onto it ... and a black shawl. She was looking gooood last night.

I went to Saks because I was bound and determined to buy myself an appropriate pair of jeans. Les told me that Sevens were the way to go, and she couldn't have been more right. These jeans are so comfortable and look so good on me. Then I bought a shirt and a sweater at Express to round out the outfit. I also spent some time on my hair, something I haven't done since I got it cut. I was afraid that all the fun had been cut out of it, but I managed to get it into a really good fauxhawk. Needless to say, Leslie and I were the two best looking bitches in Halo. I was really happy that a lot of people commented on the outfit, since I am an attention whore.

Then afterwards we all went to Tommy's apartment. I had the goal of getting shitcanned and succeeded. I have no idea what time I fell asleep but I know that it was with my head on a table, and I woke up on the floor next to the chair. Thomas was sleepin on the ground so I went to his bed, and passed out whenever I realized I was on the floor. I guess everyone else left and Thomas went to work and stuff, who knows. I woke up when he got home from work like 12 hours later. It felt so good to just sleep and sleep and sleep as much as I fuckin wanted to. I am totally refreshed. I think I may go Goth tonight.

the email…

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Welcome Sidesho-Viewers. Today I greet you all from the interior of Club 511, my new home away from home. I've been all about the firsts lately, so I thought I would give Ms. Leslie B■■■■■ the honor of watching me whilst I update. She is, naturally, one of my most loyal viewers, and most deserving of this. We are closing out my 32nd hour of being awake. It's been a long ass time since I've been awake for this long, and I can't say that its entirely enjoyable. However, the many beers of Leslie's that I've drank and the 'martin-ay' that I drank at Chili's are helping to take the edge off just a tad.

This is the second time this week that I have stayed awake to watch the sun rise due to school. I fuckin hate school, but its over now and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I was totally supposed to go to work today but hahahahaha. So when I finally finished my paper this afternoon around 12:30 I decided to check my email. After that, it was most definitely time to get drunk with Leslie so I woke her ass up and invited myself over.

Now I find myself nestled on the most comfortable couch with far too many people. I vowed to LESLIE, Rick, and Ty, that I would stay up and party until we go to Northgate to watch Aaron dunk his ring and Josh re-dunk his right (What? who does that?). I will do my best, and I'm a total trooper. Ms. B■■■■■ and I (who together comprise B■■■■■'s Photogrizzaphs) are supposed to sojourn to Houston tomorrow to take some pictures of office furniture. My uncle resales the shit, but me being the artist I am totally have an idea to, like, sell the shit out of this stuff. We're gonna have Leslie pose erotically on top of all the furniture. It's GOLD!

Leslie totally has a wireless router inside her apartment which has totally allowed me the mobility to continue updating despite the fact that we have travelled outside the confines of Club 511. I am now smoking while updating ... Another first! I completely feel (and look, as was confirmed by Leslie) like Carrie Bradshaw. Is it really our inner selves that dictate our relationships or are we all just playing the inner child?

I have to go now before I have any more fun, because there is much more to be had as the night progresses. Hopefully, I'll be awake and cognizant for all of it. Catch you sluts on the flip side. Peace out, have nots.

Lead footed speed demon — Beware

Wednesday, December 3, 2003

I was trying to update my webpage today, but I was at a complete loss for something to say. My notepad file full of future blog ideas has been destroyed (more on that later) so I was just kind of sitting around waiting for something blogworthy to happen to me. I was at a little get together last night over at Aaron's apartment drinkin some beers. Leslie, Ryan B., Josh, Rick, Josh, Thomas, Bob and Kyle were all there. These are the bitches who call me "Sidesho" in real life, so if I hang out with them and don't mention them, I know I'm gonna hear about it.

Anyway, it was good times, but left me feeling less than motivated today. Not hungover, just blah. So I didn't go to work. Instead I decided to go get my laptop fixed by the good people at Best Buy. Unfortunately, they told me what I already knew. I had to reformat. I am not really losing any precious data since everything I've done is backed up, I am losing some pictures and things I wanted, but no big deal, being a digital packrat is one of my least desirable qualities. What I am losing is hours worth of installation on a myriad of software, all of which I used very regularly both in school and work. That is going to be the worst part.

So my sick little laptop is lying in bed right now getting some AC power and reformatting himself. Poor thing, I hope he feels better once we get him up and running again. Dear god, I hope I can find my Windows XP CD. Anyway, now the serendipitous part of the story. I'm driving home on the backroads because I despise left turns ... so I'm taking Lincoln over to Munson. I knew they were residential streets so I was going like 30. Well, it turns out Munson's speed limit is actually 25, and there is a cop sitting there obviously waiting for people like me to drive by. I really wasn't surprised when I saw him turn around and come after me. I like never intentionally speed, but I seem to get pulled over a lot more than a person should. But I never get in trouble so whatever.

So I pulled over, and he was very nice. He asked for my license and registration. My registration was like a year expired, so I was like, "Oh god no, I have a current one, I'm sorry." And I hand him another without looking and he goes, "This one is two years expired." So we kind of laughed and I said, "Well I know for a fact there is a current one in here, just lemme find it." I eventually did. He issued me a formal warning for going 34 in a 25 ... which granted was over the ridiculously slow speed limit, but the cop was like, "I need you to slow it down out there, Mr. F■■■■." But if I slowed it down any more, I'd be idling.

Death of a laptop

Tuesday, December 2, 2003

Last night I was sitting on the couch, as usual, watching FoodTV, as usual, and chatting with a few friends, as usual. My computer blue screened out of nowhere and started dumping physical memory, as it has done a few times in the past. No big deal. I stood on my head while I waited for it to reboot. When I could stand it no longer I came out of the headstand and checked on my computer. It was taking an exorbitant amount of time to scan files or something. No bother, I went and did a modified Scorpion against the wall. When I came back again, it was telling me that Windows no longer works. I couldn't get it to boot up in any way, shape or form last night. Luckily I still have my PC so I don't have to unplug, but it is going to be a colossal head ache to get that fixed, especially because I have no clue what the problem might be.

I'm making meager, albeit real, progress on some of my goals. Today for lunch, I had a salad. And I haven't had a drink or smoke yet. I got one lab completed and made progress on two final projects. The promiscuous behavior and heroin addiction will have to wait until the Solstice Break.

Don't you hate it when you spray cologne on and you mistakenly inhale and bring the vapor deep into your mouth? I have a new hobby to go along with blogging. When something happens that I want to blog about, but I've already blogged for that day or I'm not in the mood, I jot a reminder down on a text file on my laptop (which is now kaput). Anyway, I had a note that said 'cologne in mouth.' I thought of this because it happened to me the other day, and I realized that cologne, much like vanilla extract, tastes nothing like it smells. Not that there are many colognes that I especially want to eat (welll...). Anyway, this was brought back to my attention when Marshall and I pulled up to the club and he sprayed on some cologne in the car and then started bitching about it getting in his mouth. I figured it must be an epidemic and I should address the issue the next chance I got. I dunno, just an observation. I got nothing left.

Game over

Monday, December 1, 2003

I've been having a lot of fun lately. I like having fun. But if I don't stop, there are going to be dire consequences ... dire like I haven't seen since my freshman year. It seems like a lot of the blogs around me have been delineating their goals for the rest of the year, and I realized it was time for me to do the same. If I don't figure out what I want to do with my life, how will I ever know when I fail?

So here goes my list of goals for the remainder of 2003:

Get whiter teeth
Tan the hide
Lose 10lbs of fat
Gain 15lbs of muscle
Touch nose to knee
Do the Scorpion
Stop spending money
Stop drinking
Stop smoking
Clean car
Clean house
Finish schoolwork
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving

Well I got a little carried away. I didn't realize there were so many unsatisfactory points of my life until I sat down to make a list. I guess I'll go wash some dishes .....

Fuck MJ, maybe I’m jesus

Saturday, November 29, 2003

I went out last night. Nothing unexpected. Marshall didn't have anything better to do so he went with me. I decided it was a Jack on the rocks night. Yum. We stayed til almost 3 and then Marshall dropped me off at Raul's for an after party. Oh man, it was fun as always. All the usual suspects were there. Well, pardon me for yadda yadda-ing, but yadda yadda yadda I haven't been to bed yet. But, as I was getting a ride home from Nick this morning around 8, I had a voicemail from Leslie's phone. Her friend was desperately searching for his keys because he had to be in Houston or something. He didn't know what to do because everyone was passed out, he was keyless and upset, so he started goin down the call list. Apparently he had left his keys in a dark brown jacket, the very jacket I had happened to comment on on my way out of Raul's.

I was nice, and I called him back and left a message saying that the coat was there, no worries. And he called back as soon as I got home, got some meat 'n cheese in my belly and took a shower. He was pretty distraught about the whole situation and called his situation 'dire' so I rose to the occasion. Despite the fact that I was about to lay down to a much anticipated slumber, I got in my car and drove over to Leslie's to pick up a perfect stranger and drive him back from whence I'd come. When we got there, his jacket was sitting right where I'd seen it, complete with a set of keys. He was overjoyed; however, Raul was now distraught. Apparently, when I'd left this morning, I hadn't quite closed the door and Terysa's prized cat had escaped and was nowhere to be found. I felt pretty bad since I was the last person to leave so it obviously had to be my fault.

My passenger was not concerned in the least, having developed an unhealthy affinity for yours truly. "Just let him go look for 5 minutes and he'll find him," he boasted about me. I was like, no no no, I am definitely not looking for any cat right now, let's go. So, I opened the door, and out the corner of my eye, downstairs, I saw the fucking cat. I was overjoyed. "There's the cat," I stated matter-of-factly. It took zero effort to coax the cat to run full speed into the apartment, and I had two awestruck compatriots throwing their praise at me. Sometimes it ain't so bad playin' the nice guy. Now, it is WAY past due for me to go to sleep. Ciao bellas.

jesus Jackson and Tgiving prep

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

I'm watching this interview with Michael Jackson. It's pretty unreal. I don't know, though. I kinda feel bad for the guy because he's obviously out of touch with reality, and you can't really blame him for being insane. Although, as I'm watching how people react to his presence everywhere he goes around the entire world, I can't help but think that he might be jesus. I mean, how many people do you know that can reduce a person to tears just by being 50 feet away? I'm sure most of you won't agree with me, especially based on the recent events. Just don't forget: jesus loved the little children.

I didn't really do anything today. I was out last night drinkin' some beers with Leslie, Josh, Rick and Steve when I got a call from Raul saying that Chris was over at Terysa's (how is that for some name dropping). So I went to chill with Chris since he left town this morning and won't be back until the Christmas break. That was a good time. When I got home, my stomach was kind of queasy, so I took a phenergin. That was a bad idea, since you're not supposed to mix it with alcohol, really. But that's just a suggestion. So, I ended up catching roughly 15 hours of sleep while missing class and work today. Whoopsadaisy. I spent the evening cooking some meat 'n cheese for me and Ryan and then preparing the mac 'n cheese for Thanksgiving at AllieD's tomorrow. Not sure what else I'm gonna do tonight. Thomas might come over and watch a DVD. I should buy a boat.

Milk of Modern Art

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Today, I was riding the bus home from my morning class. This guy sitting across from me had left his uncapped bottle of milk sitting on the seat next to him. When we took a sharp left, the milk fell off of the seat and onto the floor where the contents exuded. There was a rather large puddle of white milk on the dark grey floor of the bus. And then we started turning, and long horizontal lines were painted. We stopped short, and then accelerated creating a grid. The more we traversed the route home, the more complex the milk painting got. By the time I got off the bus, I thought it was rather beautiful.

I wanted to find you all some kind of painting online that looked like the serendipitious modern art I was treated to, but instead I ended up looking at the Museum of Modern Art webpage for like an hour. You have got to see this exhibit called Tempo. I was very inspired. I especially liked the augmenter hammers and the chick laying on oranges. "Hold your breath and think of Spinoza." Wonderful. I think its about time for me to make a hair nest and start doing speed. (Name that allusion.)

I'm sorry you all couldn't have seen it. Maybe I'll make a painting. Probably not. I'm going to go have coffee with Topher.

My so called hangover

Sunday, November 23, 2003

My life is a perpetual hangover. I would go into more detail on that statement and get philosophical, but you all know that is not what this webpage is about. What is it about?

Well, last night Dustin and Trey came over for an ice cream party. I had a craving the other night for raspberries. I may or may not have revealed this little fact before, but I will do anything for raspberries. If you're ever at the bargaining table with me, money's not very effective ... bring raspberries. I knew they were out of season, so they were a tad expensive, but they were sooo worth it. I brought them home and threw a handfull of sugar on top of them, and they just melt into this raspberry sludge that made me giddy. So, I bought some ice cream and put the berries on top.

Dustin, being Dustin, brought a bottle of wine with him and we sipped on that til it was gone, and then decided to go out. I got drunk and ended up leaving with Raul and Terysa and partying back at Terysa's crib. It was a lot of fun, but I woke up hungover again and my throat is on fire. I hadn't smoked all last week and it is amazing how quickly your throat gets acclimated to not being singed every hour. I met a bunch of people last night. Raul mentioned SideshoViD.com. Anytime people find out that I have a webpage, they immediately want to be on it. Even if they've never seen it and don't know the url. This was the case with Brandon, but I promised him, nonetheless, that I would mention him. Ryan Byrd showed up at the shindig as well. It's never a party without him. And Josh Sievers seems to think I don't talk about him enough, which is probably true. And naturally, if I mention Josh I don't want Leslie to get jealous. They were both out at the club last night, and its always a pleasure to run into them (don't worry, they're okay).

On another note, the money is still up for grabs. The picture that Sean got was of a guy with a really long braided rat tail. The guy deserves our derision, but he is not Padawan Boy. So keep snapping pictures! I didn't want Sean to feel bad, so I thought I would include his picture anyway. Nice shot, btw, especially considering it was taken with a phone.

Last little note: Thanksgiving is set for December 10th. That is the Wednesday in two weeks, aka the first day of the Dead Days this semester. You are all invited, however, I would appreciate it if you would let me know if you want to come. And in order to get in the door you have to contribute something to the feast. If you don't cook, a loaf of bread, a bottle of wine, a case of beer ... all these are appropriate. I might also need another fold-out table or some chairs. That would depend on who is coming. I just can't make as many sides this year because I have a small crappy kitchen, whereas this summer we had a big kitchen and 3 of them right next to each other to use. It will still rule though because my turkeys are the best. Hope to see most of you there!

Disease, TV, Padawan, and Diversity

Friday, November 21, 2003

I'm still not feeling well, which I am using as my excuse for the sparse updates as of late. In fact, I'm feeling so crappy that I didn't even go out last night. The last time I didn't go out on a Thursday was because I had an exam at 8am on Friday ... which, btw, I just got back today and I made a strong A on it. Boo yah. Going to class is overrated.

I am talking to Jellienuts right now about several things. One of which being his webpage coming back online. That's very exciting for me, and I'm sure you'll all agree once he unveils the new creation. I'll keep you posted. I also must congratulate our dear friend Jellienuts on his graduation from puppet school. Today was his last day of puppet school ever. Congrats! We also had a lengthy conversation concerning the Food Network and a a couple other cable shows. He said judging from my blog he would guess that I don't watch a lot of TV, but I want to assure you all, that I do, indeed, watch many, many hours a day.

Next order of business ... if you're looking to collect on my freelance photography opporitunity you had better hurry. Sean informed me today that he is in possession of a digital picture of the young padawan. He apparently rides the same bus as Sean, and he was sneaky in snapping a picture of him with his picture phone. He still has to find a way to download the picture so he can send it to me, but once he does, that chance for fast cash will be gone, and it'll be down to cape girl. Just food for thought.

Lastly, I went to the third annual Diversity Symposium last night. It was pretty cool, but not as good as last year (see Friday, November 22, 2002). Of course, there were no celebrities from Real World, so it was as good as you can expect. We did get to listen to the new director of diversity at A&M speak. That was cool. Keith met up with me to go to the symposium and had some good points about it. He felt like everyone was really pussy footing around the issues. In an attempt to be sensitive to all people, they kind of missed the problems all together. I dunno, I think its still a step in the right direction. Anything that is the opposite of what the Young Conservatives of Texas would do is A-OK with me. I hate those fucks. </irony>

Medicine head

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

I woke up yesterday feeling like absolute crap. I haven't felt like a dozen roses in a while, but this time it was especially bad. I tried to take a shower and get dressed, but I had this nagging feeling that I wasn't going anywhere. I took my temperature with the thermometer that Chris bought for me, and it registered a whopping 100.5. My nominal temperature is usually around 96, a little lower than most people, which sucks because Beautal will never acknowledge that I am running a fever. But this time, they couldn't deny it. So I decided I would go in and see if maybe they could tell me accurately this time what I've got.

I had the best doctor I've ever had at the Health Center. He was so cool. He actually looked at me, did a throat culture, spent a little time with me. The last time I went the lady didn't look or touch me, just asked my symptoms and said 'its probably strep here's some penicillin.' Well that didnt' really help. Now the guy said I still have strep, but that I've contracted the flu on top of it. So he prescribed me something for the strep, and something for the flu ... since one is bacterial and the other is viral. Then he told me to alternate between tylenol and advil every 3 hours.

Then we got to talking about drugs. I asked him for some hydrocodone and he laughed and called me a drug addict and then said 'you seriously want some? do you think you need it?' And I was like 'hmmm well its just that my throat hurts so bad.' And he was like 'well if you want it, you can have it, but i think what you really want is some cough syrup with codeine in it ... how have you been sleeping?' to which I replied, 'not well at all.' So he hands me a prescription for phenergin, which I had last April when I was having problems eating and sleeping. He prescribed it to me solely for the side effects. I have so many jars of pills that i want to buy one of those old people pill organizers.

And here just a while ago I was arguing that everyone gets the good prescriptions and I never get jack shit. I know who my new physician is. The only downside is that I have been completely out of it for the past 24 hours. When I do manage to wake up from my drug induced haze, I can barely function beyond laying on the couch. The only reason I am reaching out to now is that I just woke up from sleeping 14 hours last night, so my mind is the slightest bit clear. I'm about to go eat a handful of pills again though, so I'll catch you all the next time I come down.

Studying savvy for the slackassed student

Monday, November 17, 2003

I had to get up early this morning in order to take my exam in my networking class. I hate getting up early. It makes me physically ill (see Tuesday, September 30, 2003). I really think I should be able to register with the Students with Disabilities and be granted another test time. But, in the end, I just decided to go to bed at 11:30 and woke up with minor difficulties.

The test was going to be interesting. I knew nothing of it. In fact, I didn't even know there was a test until Thursday of last week, and it was agreed with little hesitation that none of us were going to study until Sunday. And then, I forgot all about it until I was laying in agony on the couch, suffering through a hangover, and Eric IMed me asking what time we were meeting to study. So it was time to employ the time honored tradition of cramming.

I find, though, that if you're going to take an exam in a class that you haven't attended since the last exam, sometimes studying can be detrimental to your grade. I went over all the slides and worked through a few example problems -- all told I spent a little under 2 hours studying. And then I quit, went home, and went to bed. I was among the first finished with my test yet again. There are two ways to finish a test first. Either you know everything, or you know nothing. Both of them accelerate your test taking time. It is only when you exist in that netherworld between knowing the answer, and forgetting what you've learned that you agonize over every answer, desperately wracking your brain to squeeze the last bit of information from its dark and unused dungeons. I prefer to stay blissfully unawares, and answer "D" to every question I don't know, because my name starts with "D." It's such a load off.

Anyway, this is my PSA to all of my beloved viewers. Next time you have a test, try not studying, instead of studying, and see how much your grade improves. Of course, you may want to wait until I get my grade back on this test to see how effective my methods have actually been.

Campus Crusader

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

I have another installment for you all in the "Have you seen this person on campus before" files. Joseph actually suggested this one to me, which was funny because I'd already planned on blogging about this girl previously. But, since I always have my pulse on the heartbeat of my viewers, I upped this blog in the precedence of future blogs. So let us begin to paint the picture...

She's not a particularly beautiful girl, but I wouldn't say wholely unattractive. She is a slightly overweight African American. She doesn't really wear weird clothing, nor does she act in any inappropriate ways, but I bet you've all seen her before.

You would recognize her by the massive cape she wears. I mean a big ass medieval-style cloak. Its huge and appears to be some sort of purple crushed velvet. My favorite part about her is that she wears her backpack underneath the monstrocity, so when she walks by, it appears as though she has a massive ass, and it always makes me giggle.

So, if you have seen this girl on campus, talked to her, run into her, thrown something at her, etc, whatever, just hit me up with a comment and let me know about your experience. If you've seen her eating lunch with the Jedi padawan, you win double secret bonus points.

UPDATE: This was Joseph's idea and I liked it so much I had to post this addendum. If anyone can snap a picture of either cape girl or padawan boy and send it to me I will give you $50. Start up your freelance photography job at SideshoViD.com. With all the picture phones out there, I'm sure this can happen. Say CHEESE!

Feeeeeeed meeeeee

Thursday, November 6, 2003

I just ate lunch down in Hullabaloo in the MSC and there was this camera crew following a guy around. I asked them what they were doing and they said they were doing a documentary on a student. The whole thing seemed fishy. It reeked of either christianity or fraternities ... or worse yet, a christian fraternity. So I uncharacteristically tried to stay out of the camera shot. I was totally in the background for a good while, so I held up my newspaper so that I would avoid appearing on any inspirational reality shows on EWTN.

In other news, I've been tweaking the ol' webpage just a little bit here and there. You'll notice that on the comments page of any of my entries, at the end of the entry there are now links to the previous and next posts. You can certainly utilize this feature, but I mostly added it on there because I'm a megalomaniac who likes to flip through all of my old posts in an effort to take my way-back machine to any time in the last year and eight months. Of course, as I did this I found that I could no longer just hit the 'back' button to get back to the main screen, so I made the SiDESHO graphic in the upper left hand corner always return you to the main screen, as was suggested by many around the release date of version 9.

I hope this will encourage everyone to visit more often, view more pages, and stick around longer. Right now, over the entire course of my webpage as it exists today (ie Greymatter) I have had 45,825 visitors, averaging 114 per day. The average length of visit is 188 seconds. That means that over the past 630 days, and 269 posts, you people have spent just around 100 days reading my webpage. I'm capitalizing on roughly 16% of your collective consciousness. Not too shabby, but it could be better....

I'm not sure how this post degenerated in to an evil plot for world domination. I apologize, Pinky.

Blue and yellow purple pills

Tuesday, November 4, 2003

Is it just me or does everyone I know now have a prescription to something? Allison has her injured back that awarded her muscle relaxers and hydrocodone. Sean just tore something in his knee and was awarded some hydrocodone. Owen has his speed 'prescription' and he stayed home sick from school today so he'll probably win some more pills for that. He's gonna try to claim that I got him sick, when in reality, its some Austinian disease he brought back from his Halloween adventures.

I got strep and was awarded Penicillin. Which I didn't think was very cool until my brother just informed me I could tell people I was "chillin' like a villain on penicillin" and not be lying. Rawk! The only thing that isn't cool about my booty is that it doesn't really make a very good bargaining chip. On the black market of pill pushers and poppers, there's no way anyone is going to vie for an antibiotic. They have no side effects and are so easy to come by. Looks like I'm going to have to sweeten the deal if I'm going to get my paws on any of those hydrocodone circulating around. And to top it all off, I didn't even get molested by the doctor this time. What a rip off!

Tonight we have to go to Navasota to ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ to pitch our project proposal to the owner out there hoping that he'll fund our little operation next semester. That means I have to dress up and act polite, my two favorite things to do. But if all goes well, we could be sittin pretty next semester, and that ... is a good thing. Peace out, skillets.

Streptococcal anyone?

Monday, November 3, 2003

"The most common symptoms of a strep throat infection are sudden, severe sore throat; pain or difficulty swallowing; fever over 101°F (38.33°C); swollen tonsils and lymph nodes and white or yellow spots on the back of a bright red throat."
-- www.webmd.com

I thought I would let WebMD tell you about my morning and spare you any gory details. I couldn't sleep at all last night, which I attributed to my sleep sched becoming a tad wonky from the weekend, but it turns out, I was just pitching a fever fervor. I finally gave up trying to sleep around 6am, a solid 4 hours after I'd retired. I thought I might go to my 8 oclock and go about my day, but instead ventured to the health center.

I was there for like 4 hours even though I only saw a doctor for a good 30 seconds. She decided it was probably strep and subscribed me some Penicillin. She didn't exactly instill a large amount of confidence in her hippocratic intentions, but if there's one thing I do trust, it's pills. So hopefully I'll be on the up and up soon.

In the meantime, my offer is still on the table for anyone that wants/needs strep throat. It can have its benefits including, but not limited to, sympathy from friends, prescriptions to drugs, and excuses from tests. Think about it. If you decide this is for you, contact me and we will make out.

Halloween on a dime

Sunday, November 2, 2003

I managed to make it through the entire weekend only spending $3 on ground chuck and frozen broccoli. I can make a mean meal with that and a handful of salt. I still need to go to the grocery store, but I'm allowed to now since I made it the entire week without spending any money. This was made possible in no small way by all of the generous friends I have. I have to thank Danny, Mark, and LESLIE (who specifically requested that her name appear in all caps). I also told Rick that I would mention him, and he claimed I would forget. But since I remembered, I think that should mean he owes me a drink.

That was on Thursday night. The same night that I decided to tote along my jug of tequila just in case I didn't get drunk enough. God, I love tequila, and tequila loves me. Which worked out for the best because I was still a little hungover on Friday night, and didn't feel the need to drink anything but club soda. Besides, I had that damn Santa beard on again, and its pretty hard to drink with. There were so many people out at Halo tho that it got unseasonably warm in there and I eventually ditched the wig and beard. Craig and I were hangin out together that night and we ended up going to a party at Arash's with Mark, but we didn't get over there until about 3am at which point everyone was pretty much passing out.

Last night Ryan had promised me that he would buy the beer, and then Trey called me and told me he'd bought Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit DVD Edition, so we transplanted our party over to Treys. It was a lot of fun to play. Its not something I'm used to to play a game of Trivial Pursuit and actually know the answer to some of the questions. That makes it a lot more fun and it makes the game go a lot faster.

I feel like maybe I forgot to do something this weekend since it was so much fun. I mean I skipped class and work and all that good stuff, but that doesn't usually nag me. Maybe I'm just feeling withdrawls of spending. Well anyway, I hope everyone else had a wonderful Halloween as well. If you've got a funny story to share, please do. Peace out, you have-nots.

Happy birthday, Adrian! I feel like I know you already.

Hate is never great

Thursday, October 30, 2003

Walking back from Yoga I saw a large crowd of people gathered around the Sul Ross statue outside of the Academic Building. My curiosity piqued, I ventured closer to find out which insane right wing christian group was starting shit. The only reason I did so is because occasionally someone will be out there yelling the word "VAGINA!" and I love playing Vagina Day games. As I got closer, I recognized the all too familiar foul stench of Tom S■■■, nationally known campus speaker. My natural instincts are to turn and run from this man, not because I'm intimidated (although I've witnessed first hand his ability to talk his way out of any logical situation) but because I think the only way to send a message to him that he's not wanted is to ignore him, not argue with him. Arguing with him is just what he wants.

Against my better jugement, I decided to see if Owen was sitting out there listening to him. Owen has some sick fascination with Tom S■■■, as well as Mormons and his friend Adrian. Alas, he was not out there, but I made the mistake of coming within earshot long enough to hear him say something about homosexuals. Then I was stuck. Here's his story pretty ver batim (that means 'word for word,' Joseph).

"I was talking up at the University of Maryland one day and a young man who identified as gay said, Tom, do you think we should kill all the homosexuals? And I said we need to save them. And he said again, Tom, do you think we should kill all of the homosexuals? And again, I said that if they found Jesus etc, he said TOM, do you think we should kill all the homosexuals?

"And this went on for about a half an hour before I finally decided to address this young man's question directly. And I said yes, I think we should kill all of the homosexuals. But first, why don't we start with the young man that corrupted and perverted you, the one who made you think you were gay. And he stopped, and his face softened, and he said, you know, Tom, you're right."

WHAT?!?! WHO THE FUCK WOULD AGREE WITH THAT?! My god this man is a fucking idiot. I don't mind so much that one guy is a fucking worthless piece of shit beyond all reason and so entrenched in a 2000 year old fairy tale praying to Mother Goose that he should be fed to the lions, but I can't believe he is allowed to spread hate throughout the nation.

This man needs to learn that what he is doing is wrong. But since he knows how to work the free speech areas, we can't exactly silence him. So this is what I uncharacteristically suggest. If you see him, lets teach him that ignorance breeds intolerance, intolerance breeds hatred, hate begets hate, and hate begets violence. So if you see him, pick up a rock or something and throw it at his face. The more adamantly you know he's wrong, the bigger the rock should be. I gotta go now, I have some bricks to throw.

Operation “Get Your Shit Together”

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Day 1. Operation "Get Your Shit Together." The premise behind the new operation is the fact that my life is in disarray. The catalyst, of course being the fact that I have no money.

So it's time to stop fucking around and get my life back together. Day 1 was pretty successful. I didn't spend a single penny all day long except for some quarters for laundry. I know this will come as a huge surprise but my room is an absolute disaster. You can't even walk in it. So first I washed all of my clothes. And when I say all of my clothes I mean all of my clothes.

The next phase was to try to eliminate the cockaroach problem by cleaning the sink full of dirrty dishes. I fit all I could into the dishwasher and finished off the rest by hand. It smells much better in here. Maybe also because I took the trash out too, finally.

Okay, so those uninterrupted hours of brainless television watching ... well, they're not going away, but the are now going to be associated with something productive. I can vacuum while I watch TV. Or put away dirty clothes. I don't have to alter my entire life, just those hours during the day where I'm completely unproductive. I really think this could work. Wish me luck, you dirrty, dirrty sluts.

Poverty and chastity

Monday, October 27, 2003

So remember how I told you all that I had overdrawn my account $750? My dad wasn't very happy about that. He called me on Friday night but I declined the phone call in favor of having a good time one last night. But I talked to him on Saturday. It was the usual speech about how I don't have unlimited resources and credit cards were not free money, yadda yadda yadda. I think he was more upset about the fact that I wasn't upset than he was about the money. But in reality, I realize the errors of my way.

Anyway, being the loving father that he is, he decided he would temporarily help me out with my financial woes under one condition: I am not allowed to spend another dime.

For those of you that know me, hang out with me, eat with me, shop with me, or are present while I surf the web, you will know that poverty is not the life for me. I spend money constantly. If it's not a new 60 dollar shirt, it's a Time Life DVD collection. If it's not a clever trinket from eBay, it's a decadent midafternoon meal. If it's not a 70 dollar bar tab, it's another freaking pair of shoes.

No more. From now on I am living the life of a poor college student. I've vowed to not spend so much as an extra penny beyond what is absolutely necessary to live. So far today I haven't spent any money. And it's not been easy. I drove to campus to eat lunch, and then took my leftovers home in a box to eat for dinner. I also took my ATM card, check card, and credit card out of my wallet, so I can only use them when I really seriously need it. I have 3 dollars in cash and a semi-full change bucket to see me through. On the plus side, though, this means I'm automatically on a diet, can't smoke, and can't drink. Maybe poverty is the key to healthy living.

Oh and about the chastity thing... I just figure nobody wants to fuck a poor guy.

The new quintro turbo

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Have you all seen this commercial for the new Quatro razor? Two blades is better than one. And three blades is better than two. And thats as good as it gets, right? Wrong. Introducing the new Quatro razor.

I laugh every, every time I see that commercial. Did any of you ever see that SNL commercial for the razor that had like 21 blades. The first blade cuts the hair. The second cuts it even closer. The third? Even closer. Then an amazing fourth blade cuts EVEN closer. Out of nowhere ... a fifth blade to cut even closer. The sixth blade usually completely misses the hair, but the seventh? EVEN closer.

God it was so funny. So I've decided to invent the quintro turbo razor. 5 fucking blades. Can you imagine? I'll completely trump this Quatro piece of shit.

Its almost time to get to Kyle Field to watch the Aggie beat the hell out of OSU. Deauxcheck is in town to go to the game. And then tonight is the big costume party. Ho ho ho. My prediction for the game? Aggies 69, OSU 6.

Post Script from OClay66: FYI David: I tried to find this new "quatro" you spoke of but had no luck. Then I realized it was because your miss spelled it. Its quattro no quatro (2 ´T´s). I am sure all you other international readers would appreciated the clarification and perhaps a website reference in the future. Thanks doll

Puntastic

Friday, October 24, 2003

I don't often take requests, but this one was just far too precious to ignore. I was out at the club last night, having some drinkie drinkies, when I run into Leslie (don't worry, she's okay). We got to talking and she was telling me how she didn't want me to think she's psychotic since I really don't know her, but that she really does read my website every morning. I'm like a low fat vanilla soy latte. So anyway, I told her I would mention her again since she got so giddy the first time.

So I woke up this morning at James's apartment. Motherfucker did not drive home last night. I went over to Dustin and Trey's to try and find a way back to my car. Dustin ran me over there (yeah, it would have been faster to drive). So I picked up my car (I'm pretty strong) and came home. And now I'm about to hop in the shower (which is so dangerous). I'll see you bitches later. Costume par-tay tomorrow whooo.

Oh yeah, and just as a footnote ... any of you who were jealous of me for paying off my credit cards in full last month can have the last laugh now that my account is overdrawn nearly $750. Whoopsadaisy.

Typer Shark

Thursday, October 23, 2003

I have a new game that I am completely obsessed with. This is of Minesweeper, Spider Solitaire, and Text Twist proportions. This particular game is called Typer Shark. If you go to yahoo.com and click on GAMES and then over on the right under Arcade games is this thing called Typer Shark. You have all got to try it.

When I was in the sixth grade we had a game where this race car would race around the track and you had to type the words in front of him before he crashed into them. I have been looking for that game for a while now because I believe I could really kick the shit out of it these days. Well, I couldn't find it, but Typer Shark is the same basic concept. You are a diver and you have to type the word on the sharks before they eat you. Only some of the sharks require two or three words before they die. Some of them have the letters backwards, and some of them mutate as you're typing to random letters and numbers and symbols.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that I am a Sea Titan. That's the highest rank I can achieve with 1.9 million points. My best round was 99% accurate at 119 wpm. Not too shabby if I do say so myself although I average around 95% accuracy at 90 wpm.

So I challenge all of you to go hone your touch typing skills with Typer Shark and report back here. If any of you can beat me, we may have to have a showdown of epic proportions. Until then, you have-nots. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaate.

Kill Bill et al

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

I saw Kill Bill (vol 1). This is the movie where Britney Spears dresses up like Bruce Lee and fights with swords. I have yet to enjoy a "Quintin Tarrentino" movie that I've seen, so it shouldn't surprise me that I didn't appreciate Kill Bill. However, I will say that there were many, many redeeming qualities that I hope and pray some filmmaker I enjoy will steal and use. Fighting in the dark with nothing but shadows -- very cool. Excellent wire effects. Great soundtrack, all fights should be set to cool music. On the negative side: ridiculous amounts of gore ... I got a little queasy at a couple parts. Anime is not cool, not even when you try to be artsy about it. That's my official review. It was worth the money, but just barely.

I spent yesterday running around town putting together my Halloween costume with Allison. We're doing the themed thing again. As soon as I'm done sewing, we'll take a picture and I'll throw it up here. Until then, hold your breath.

Have I said lately how much I enjoy Martha Stewart. She is so great. And truth.com ads drive me to smoke more. Not surprising that they are funded by Phillip-Morris. Smart people working there. Evil, but smart.

Lastly, I got a shoutout from the past today that absolutely made my day. Anytime people tell me they read my webpage (which has been happening a lot lately, I'm starting to blush) it makes my day, but this one was from my old elementary school flame.

MissyHo12: i just had to give a shout out to my boyfriend for 3-5th grade. wanted to let you know that i frequent your website and find it laugh out loud hysterical! thought i'd say and let you know that! take care

I took a midterm today that I think I bombed. That sucked and it was very stressful. My boss is in China for a week now so I have yet to make it to work this week. And I'm broke. Like absolutely broke. That is all I have to update you on for now. Viva la vid.

Getting plowed

Thursday, October 16, 2003

So today I thought I would share a bit of yoga progress with you all. Since it would be hard to explain the insanity of the Plow Position in words, I thought I would include a little picture. I did this posture today. Me. Ouch. Keep the comments g-rated.

In other news, I have a test tomorrow in my LAN/MAN class that I am completely unprepared for. And on top of that, its at 8am, so there is no way in hell I can go out tonight. That's very upsetting to me. But I just ran into Dustin on campus (don't worry, he's okay) and he said he's not going out tonight either, so we'll both be rarin' to go on Friday night. It's going to be nice to be able to just lay around for a weekend ... what a change. Owen is going to Dallas after our exam at 8, so I'll have the place all to myself. Maybe I should throw a par-tay. We'll see. For one thing, I have GOT to clean my house. I just did an emergency load of laundry at Harvey Gangbangers yesterday since I've been recycling for the past two weeks. Feels good to be clean.

I dunno, not a whole lot to port or report. Hope everything is going well for everybody. Catch you on the flip slide, you have-nots.

A little too ironic

Thursday, October 9, 2003

Rain is not fun. Rain is not soothing. Rain is not romantic. Rain is wet. Rain is cold. Rain is a hassle. Today it rained. I got wet despite my jacket and umbrella. But I found a good solution to the problem. We have a heat gun in our lab. It is designed to shrink shrink-wrap, but we use it to dry off circuit boards after they've been electro-plated. Today I used them to heat my shoes to a toasty 100 degrees before I slipped them back on. Instant comfort. Took them off and repeated the process. Its the little things that make life worth living.

Today I went to yoga again. I forgot that we were supposed to turn in our yoga journals today so now I have to turn it in to the front office tomorrow. Not too happy about that cause it means I definitely have to go to school tomorrow and I am not in the practice of going to class on Fridays. We practiced our shoulder stands, where you essentially (to point out the obvious) stand on your shoulders with your entire body up in the air. If you do it incorrectly, your butt will jut out and it is hard to balance. I got another compliment from the teacher cause she walked by me and said I was "very straight."

Grasping at straws

Tuesday, October 7, 2003

I've been desperately trying to observe or overhear something funny today so I could relate it to all of you, but as of yet, I've got nothing. I haven't even seen something that I thought to myself, "That would have been a lot funnier if ..." and then could be related to you all as if that had happened. I'd even go so far as to say, I've not even spent any time daydreaming where I've thought "You know what's funny, ViD?" and answered myself, and then completely lied to you all and said it happened. My life is that boring.

But do you know what is funny? When monkeys ride dogs like horses. Not in and of itself, but if you put a saddle on the dog and a little vest and cowboy hat on the monkey, holy shit. You will get me every time with that shit. The other thing that is funny is the Joe Schmoe Show on the Spike Network, the first network for men. It comes on Tuesday nights at 8, so if you haven't been watching, start now. And if you want to watch it with me tonight, just let me know. HE THINKS IT'S ALL REAL!

I dunno, maybe something will happen to me on the way home, but I doubt it. This place is so blase, so passe, so cliche, so predictable. More on that, after this....

10 letter word for slacker … ends in ‘vid’

Monday, October 6, 2003

I got my happy ass up this morning at 7am, got ready, and went to school. I haven't been to my 8 o'clock in so long, so I was overjoyed to find that I had arrived on the very day that we were having our first quiz. Hurrah! Not so fast, my overzealous readers... As it turns out, I didn't have the first clue how to answer either of the 5 point questions. Nonplussed as ever about this situation that I've found myself in many times before, I busted out the crossword and proceeded to work on that instead. While I may have gotten a zero on the quiz, I am happy to say that I finished the entire crossword during the time allotted. I almost turned it in to see if I could get any credit for my shrewd lexi-skills, but in the end, just opted for running out the back door and catching the bus home.

I'm still at work despite it being past 5, but don't cry for me. Not only did I show up late, but I fell asleep in my recliner over my lunch break and extended it an extra hour. Whoopsadaisy. I don't think anyone noticed though. I got a new space to work in that is quiet, secluded, and right next to the coffee pot. Things are on the up and up, although I'll only have this area for another week. My boss wants to set up a temporary lab. We're fast approaching our deadlines and I have to quickly become productive, while managing to also attend school and keep up with that. My life is so hard [note sarcasm].

In other news, I paid off my credit card in full this month. That's always exciting because it never ever happens. Fret not though, loyal viewers, I still have that outstanding balance at Best Buy for all the cool shit I bought this summer.

I have got to get back to the gym. Yoga is not exactly shedding pounds of beer gut.

Mamma Mia!

Sunday, October 5, 2003

Mamma Mia! Here I go again. Why, why did I ever let you go? Mamma Mia! Does it show again? My, my just how much I missed you?

Oh man, if you ever get the chance to see Mamma Mia!, the musical based on the music of ABBA, promise me you'll go. It was so damn good. They had all the best hits in there but like done up a little bit for the stage, not that they needed to be tweaked very much. There was singing, dancing, huge musical numbers, and a kickback to the insane costumes ABBA used to wear. So good. So good. I had a blast.

And we got to go to the fair, since the show was at the fairgrounds, and the state fair is going on right now. Never, ever in my life, have I ever desired to go to the fair, and this weekend I finally got the opportunity. I've never seen so many poor people huddled together spending so much money on such crap. I mean, don't get me wrong, the fair is great ... if you like crap. Crap to eat, crap to win, crap to buy. Not exactly my cup of tea. Me and my mom did go see a cheap-o free version of Lord of the Dance though, while my dad and sister rode the ferris wheel. That was kind of neat. Other than that, walking out of there, I fulfilled my dream of one day being in a rap video. There was no music or cameras, but there were plenty of big black guys walkin around in the jersey's of other citys' teams.

But I'm home now and I just went to the mall with AllieD, very good times. A boy on a motorcycle did a wheelie for us. Tres impressive. Holla back, yungin'!

I surely cannot be held accountable

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Given: On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, my first class is at 8:00. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my first class is at 9:35.

Observations: If I go to bed at 12:00 and wake up at 7:00, I am a completely unfunctioning wreck. Half the time I can't even drag my ass out of bed despite my best efforts. However, on the other days, I generally go to bed at 1:00 and get up at 8:00. There is never any problem. I hop right out of bed, take a refreshing shower and am productive all day.

Hypothesis: I have decided, based partly on my control systems class, party on my readings of string theory, and party on absolutely nothing, that it is not my fault. The earth and sun are a closed system, for our purposes here, and that sun oscilates around the earth a set frequency, generally every 24 hours. I, being something of a physical body, also have a natural frequency ... if it weren't for all the factors around me, I would oscillate at this undamped natural frequency, we will call omega. I have decided that most people's omegas are probably in tune with the sun ... this is why even if you don't sleep, you will naturally feel more awake when the sun comes up after an all nighter. I, however, have experienced a phase shift. I decided it was probably around 15 degrees from everyone else.

Conclusion: It is completely unrealistic, and a bit discriminatory actually, to expect me to perform in an 8:00 class when it is apparent that I am unable, physically, to do so. Your thoughts?

Steaks, Flags, Softmores, and Jesus

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Last night I decided I needed a proper meal, so I coerced Owen into going to Outback Steakhouse with me. Holy shit, it was the best meal I've ever had. I got this $25 steak, and it was rare, and fatty, and bloody ... and oh my god. I still get happy when I think about it now. It was dead on what I was looking for. It reminded me of the scene in the Matrix where Cypher is meeting with Agent Smith and has the red wine, and red steak, and cigar. Only I had a bigass Coors light, red steak and a cigarette. It was absolutely incredible. Some day I will eat like that every day.

In other news, I have a few humorous stories that I should probably spread over the next few days when I run out of things to talk about, but I just can't wait and I don't want to forget them.

The other day I saw an American flag bumper sticker that said, "These colors don't run. Never have. Never will." And it was completely faded by the sun.

This sorority bitch on the bus this morning was talking on her cell phone entirely too loud (like they always do) and said to her friend, "I don't know how half the people got into this university much less to the point they are at. Charles was a softmore in college and didn't know how to do a bibliography. Can you believe it? A SOFTMORE! A SOFTMORE in college and he didn't know." And no, children, I'm not the idiot here, I'm typing it exactly how she was saying it. Very clear with the T.

I was walking behind two girls on campus today after yoga, and eavesdropping as I often do. And they were talking about Jesus. Only it was the weirdest conversation about Jesus I had ever heard before. They were saying things like, "We had Jesus at our party," and, "Jesus everywhere." So I kept listening trying to figure out what kind of whacko Christians these were. It wasn't until I overheard her say, "Yeah, we had them all ... Cheddar, Provolone, Swiss..." that I realized I was an idiot with a hearing problem.

A Dallas weekend to remember

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

I've been putting off this blog because its going to be pretty long and I haven't really had the time to sit down and type it since I've been home. As you may know, I went home to Dallas this weekend. There's no need for pretense so we'll just jump right into the story. I got home on Friday evening and saw my mother briefly. My parents were going to Oktoberfest in Addison Friday evening and then leaving for my cousin's wedding in Denver, CO the next morning, so I really didn't get to see them. No bother though, it actually worked out better that way.

So Friday night I met up with Clay and we went to a housewarming party in Highland Park. It was the coolest house I've ever been in. It was three stories tall with four bathrooms, a huge backyard deck, beautifully decorated, a media room upstairs, and a room with some really expensive X-Men comics in it, which I appreciated. I got a little bit drunk, but we left early because we knew we were going to be getting up early on Saturday to go to Six Flags. And thats just what we did.

I woke up around 10 on Saturday and showered and got ready and Clay came and picked me up. We met up with 4 of his friends downtown and headed out to Six Flags. Has anybody been there recently? We got this thing called a Q-Bot which essentially allows you to wait in line electronically. It cost us like 60 bucks between the 6 of us, and you take this little thing around with you and you lock into rides. And it saves your spot and beeps you when its your turn to ride the ride. And then you just walk right up to the front and get on, while all the have-nots look on in disgust. It was SO fun! We got to ride every ride in the park without once waiting in line. Its actually genius on so many levels though, because if you're standing in a line for 2 hours, thats 2 hours that you're not spending money. The Q-Bot freed us up to walk around and buy shit all day long. I really only spent money on water the entire time, so I didn't lose too much. I did get my knife confiscated at the door though, that was pretty funny.

Anyway, then everyone was planning on going out, but I, naturally, had to go home and shower. I was exhausted by the time I was ready to head back to Dallas, but being the trooper I am, I managed somehow. I called up Ryan S■■■ to see if he was going out and he was, so instead of going back out with the group of new friends I'd just made, I called and left them a message saying maybe I'd see them out and went to Ryan's. Good thing I didn't rely on them, too, cause apparently they went home and fell asleep for the entire night. Anyway, Ryan and I got ready and picked up his friend David S■■■■■■ and went out downtown. We started out at JR's and the beers were not really making me feel well, so by the time we went into the Village, I was ready to just sit down. I was really falling asleep. So I did just that. I have no qualms, people probably just thought I was rolling to hard anyway. But I wasn't a total drag the whole night, I got up and danced a little bit although I didn't drink anymore. By the time we ended up at a late night restaurant watching these two scarf down chinese food, I was about to fall asleep on the table. We finally got back to Ryan's around 4 and I just crashed there because I was too tired to do anything else.

The next morning Ryan made some delicious pancakes, I borrowed a shirt (it says Texas is for Lovers and I liked it so much that Ryan gave it to me -- THANKS!), and we went back downtown for the parade. It was so much fun. We were catching beads and stuff. Ryan took an assload of pictures, but he took them with film (who does that). So as soon as he gets some scanned in, I can put them up here for you to enjoy. The parade was nuts, we ate some lunch. After the parade there was like a political rally and the people for Howard Dean were there. I got a button for my bag. It looks quite striking next to my peace propaganda. After that we took a nap and then I hit the road bound for College Station.

All in all it was one of the most fun weekends of my life. I really needed that. Thanks to everyone who was influential in making it happen. In other news, I pulled some handi-capable tickets to the game on Saturday against Pittsburg. Allison and I are going to be on the front row of the second deck for a game that is going to be televised on ABC. We want to wear T-shirts that spell something out, but so far all I can think of it either "GO" or "TX" or "AM". Any ideas? I'll tell you one thing though, it'll be nice to be sitting through all of those damn TV timeouts. I predict we will win 67 to 12.

And in international news, I've decided to leave the country. I'm not sure when, but lets just say ASAP. My new dream in life is to move to Germany and get a job writing technical documentation for German companies auf Englisch. I guess in reality it would be better if I could be a straight up translator, but I'm probably at least a year away from that. I used to be almost fluent, but not so much these days. Anyway, I think that's about enough blog for now, thank you for your patience, you have-nots. Laaaaaaaaaate.

Homeward Bound

Friday, September 19, 2003

Man, I had saved up so many choice stories for the blog this week, but at the moment I just can't remember any of them. I guess its true that beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that place where our beds and TV is. I got a little bit tipsy last night, which has facilitated my skipping of class and dodging of phone calls from the man ... and my mother.

My mother is calling because I told her I was coming home today. I need to pack up some dirty laundry because all of my good clothes are in the hamper. Now that i don't have a washing machine I will actually do it at home. I am going home for a number of reasons. For one, I haven't been back in a while so I need to see the rentals. My friend Ashlee from high school is in town and has been partying with Ryan S■■■ and I feel left out, so I need to do that. And Clay is leaving for Spain a couple of days so I'm gonna go hang with him.

Not that I feel the need to justify myself to all of you. Did anybody watch the game last night? Cody Scates is a badass.

Flexible and frost-bitten

Monday, September 15, 2003

I have a couple of things to report. The first is news from the eRECt Center that I just returned from. I spent about an hour there, and never really got around to lifting any weights. Instead, I sat in the corner and stretched and stretched and stretched. My yoga teacher is going to be proud of me. Anyway, I tried desperately to touch my nose to my knee and I came ever so close, but no cigar. The way I see it, though, I'm only about two weeks away from it being effortless.

I bought my yoga book today and read part of it. Frankly, there were chapters in there that just plum made me blush. This yoga shit is going to be the best thing for my sex life since accidental tantra.

In other news, I was over at Josh's watching some TV, and his friend Kyle or Carl was there. I didn't really listen to his name the 100 times I heard it. I hope he doesn't somehow read this and get offended. Anyway, Josh brings up the fact that if you put salt on an ice cube and hold it in your hand that it will burn you. Ky(Car)l(e) claims that is bullshit. They bicker back and forth, eventually daring each other to try it. When they both wouldn't, I stepped forward as the guinea pig.

It's not uncommon for me to test theories out on myself. One time I stuck a 9V battery to my braces ... that felt like god had donkey kicked me in the face. Another time, I opened my eye right on a camera flash and set it off to see what would happen. I couldn't open my eye for about 2 hours and when I finally could, everything was red. Anyway, back to my story.

So Josh hands me an ice cube and pours a moderate amount of salt on. "Don't be shy," I prodded. More salt. After doing some research on the internet, the best explanation I've found of what happens is this. Pouring salt on ice is an endothermic reaction. That means it must draw heat into the reaction from the surrounding environment. This plunges the ice (normally around 32-33 degrees) to much, much lower. So when you hold it in your hand while this reaction is going on, it draws heat, not from the air, but from your hand. End result: frost-bite.

It was quite painful at the time, but not excruciating. Today, however, I have an ice cube shaped red mark on my hand that hurts pretty bad. Most people would encourage you to not make the same mistake, but I'm not most people. I want you to try this right now, and then leave me a comment letting me know how it went for you. Until then, my little plebeians. Peace out!

The rain in Spain…

Friday, September 12, 2003

As a general rule, for those of you not currently aware of the situation, if it is raining outside, I'm not in a good mood. I appreciate the fact that some people find the rain romantic, or like curling up inside their dry, warm beds and listening to the rain hit the roof and somehow derive pleasure from this. But I am not one of those people. Rain is a hassle. For starters, it gets everything wet, including me ... at 7:30am. That's never cool. I also don't appreciate auxiliary noises and lights. If I want to fall asleep to the sound of rain, I will buy a noise machine, thank you very much.

I was supposed to go over to Clay's house last night to watch Chicago. I only bought the damn thing a month ago and I still haven't broken the cellophane. But, then it started raining, which puts a hold on every plan imaginable, unless my plan is to get wet and cold and muddy, then rain is a good thing. I ended up opting to lay on the couch and drink a beer while watching The Daily Show. Which led to passing out hardcore while laying on the couch drinking a beer while watching the Daily Show. I woke up somewhere around midnight and then went to bed.

I'm attempting to get Dustin and Trey to go out with me tonight. I always have a good time when I hang out with those two. We'll see what happens. Now I'm going to go employ my yoga techniques and try to exhale some of this animosity to avoid being a malcontent towards the weather. Laaaaaaaate.

eRECt Center Antics

Tuesday, September 9, 2003

A lot of people seemed to enjoy my character profile of the sorority bitches, so I've got another one for ya. This person that bothers me lives in the rec center weight room. Now I'm sure there are a number of people in the rec center weight room that get on your nerves, but strangely, only one gets my goat.

I go to get a drink of water from the fountain, and naturally, there's a line. I mean I usually go during peak hours, so its not uncommon to have as many as 5 or 6 people in line for each water fountain. No problem. And when its finally my turn to take a swig, the asshole in front of me who has just finished slaking his thirst, stands up, turns 180 and bumps into me. He's not trying to be rude. One look into his eyes and you will know that the utter shock of there being someone behind him is genuine. But come on people, lets try to remain mildly cognizant of our surroundings out there, okay?

On a side note, I am venturing into my 37th hour of no smoking. There are a couple of reasons for my little experiment none of which deal with health issues. For one, its pure masochism. Translate emotional unrest to physical discomfort and watch it all dissipate. Secondly, my yoga teacher made us each come up with three long term goals for the semester and one of mine was to reduce the frequency and amount of smoking. I've been in the corporate game all summer, I know better than to word a goal so there aren't any loopholes. Anyway, if this is met with any amount of success then I'll keep you all posted; otherwise, I'll just let it fall by the wayside. I'm outtie.

Sorority girls are dumb

Monday, September 8, 2003

This morning I hit the ol' snooze button one too many times. Next thing I knew, I was laying in bed at 7:30 when I have class at 8:00. So I did what I had to do. I omitted certain things from my morning ritual. One of these was showering. When you're going to be late again (batting 1000 on being late to the 8) hygeine takes a back seat to speed. Also, grooming is out the window. Fashion is a non-issue. To sum it all up, I woke up, pulled some pants on over my boxers, threw on some flip flops and was pulling a shirt over my geezy, messed up hair as I ran to the bus stop. And since I was running late, everyone around me was running late as well, and looked the part ... or did they ...

As some of you know, I live on or near Sorority Row, the row of worthless houses containing worthless people. Two of these pillars of society got on the bus one stop after me. At first glance, they appeared to have rolled out of bed and gotten onto the bus. The pajamas were a dead give away. But as I continued to look at them, passing in and out of consciousness, I started noticing that they had clearly not rolled out of bed. This was a carefully crafted look.

Her makeup was impeccable, her hair quite styled. The pj's matched the baby T she was wearing and she was bright eyed despite the hour. Anyone who gets up early in order to achieve an unfinished 'look' and spends time trying to look cutesy for an 8:00 class should be hit on the head with a tack hammer.

Ergo, sorority girls are dumb. QED.

Audacious in Humble

Sunday, September 7, 2003

Exit Weekend. Time to put the ol' nose to the grindstone once again tomorrow ... y'know for 50 minutes since thats all the school that I have on Monday. Man, school sucks. The only class I like is Yoga, and I really, really like it. If you have the opportunity to take it as a kineseology, I would highly suggest it. I will report more on that after I go to it a few more times, but its only once a week so that might take a while.

So I went to Humble, TX this weekend for my brother's housewarming party. Owen went with me, as did the famed fog machine. It was quite a hit once people got used to the haze. Deauxcheck was there, but Boozer and Tim, two of my brothers friends who probably read my website religiously totally bailed. It was a pretty good party considering how many people showed up and stayed late. I took on the single handed responsibility of floating an entire keg. And while I wasn't technically successful, I did end up hurling in the backyard with only a vague sense of what was going on around me. That was pretty cool. And I woke up with very little hangover. Always a bonus. Anyway, my bro's been living in this house for a longass time so I don't know why this was a housewarming party, but whatever. I know he put the pictures up on imagestation but I can't seem to find his albums, so I'll update that later. Enjoy your week, you havenots. Laaaaaaate.

When will it all stop

Saturday, September 6, 2003

So I'm lounging around my house feeling delightfully hungover (I say delightfully because its such a nice damn day outside and that always feels good) trying to think of something to blog about. Nothing of note has really happened to me lately, so I'd almost abandoned the notion until I decided to check my logs again. Once again, dear viewers, the numbers were staggering. Last week I averaged around 50 visitors a day, and then on Monday I shot up to 2,500. Fearing a resurgence of the shaven Jeffcoats picture, I checked the referrals for where all of these hits were coming from. And here they are:

texags.com -- 1,562
tiderinsider.com -- 725
tidefans.com -- 120
gatorcountry.com -- 94
elite-sports.com/soonerfans -- 89
big12warzone.com -- 50
drunkenbuffoonery.com -- 28
gatorinsider.com -- 23

And there were several other sports related forums linking to my site but they only generated one or two hits. I think drunkenbuffoonery.com is my favorite. I haven't investigated all of these sites, but I'm assuming its the picture of Jeffcoats thats doing it since nothing on this site is in the least bit sports related. And what opinions I have about Aggie football are severely uneducated. Speaking of, my prediction for the game today against Utah is Aggies - 87, Utah - 3. Mormons can't play football. Mormons can't do anything but pilot space ships to heaven.

So there you have it. I won't be at the game to cheer them on, because I am traveling to Humble, Texas soon to attend my brother's house warming party. So long, you have nots, see you next week.

First day of school

Monday, September 1, 2003

Happy September, dear viewers. How was everybody's first day of school? Mine was suckfuckingtastic. I'm not sure what that word really entails, but I think it describes my day.

I had to get up for an 8am class, and that was my only class. Turns out the prof didn't show up, and the TA only handed out a syllabus. So I got up for nothing, basically. And then I started working on a circuit board. About 13 hours later I determined that I had irreparably fucked up the circuit board and threw it in the trash.

I started again because I'm a trooper, so now in my 15th hour of labor (how appropriate for Labour Day) I am almost ready to go home. I'm waiting for the presser to heat up to 175 degrees celcius, then I throw my board in and go the fuck home. Then I come back early so I can get some things done on this board before class, go to class, work on the board, go to class, work on the board, and maybe, just maybe get home at a decent hour. So much for being more dedicated to myself this semester, that lasted long.

Hit me up with a comment letting me know how your first day was, provided you are actually enrolled in school. Fuckers.

Beat the hell outta Arkansas State

Sunday, August 31, 2003

The first homegame of the Aggie season is under our belts. Coach Fran is off to a good start. I was really excited about winning. But I was also excited about pulling 'courtesy tickets' and getting to sit down through the entire game. Standing sucks ... like, just in general. I can't wait til I get a Rascal to ride around on all day.

I have called in twice now about my internet not working and though they swear they're going to fix it, they have yet to do so. I really want to get my webcam back up cause that picture has been up there for like 2 fucking weeks now. I'm sitting up at work again just to check my emails, IMs and update the old webpage.

Tomorrow class begins. I only have one class on Mondays but its at 8am. I thought it was my senior project management class, that I could not in a million years skip, and I wasn't too psyched about that. But it turns out, that its my network class with the prof that likes me. So while I don't plan on skipping, if I ever needed to ... say on a Friday morning ... I could. So I have to get up to go to class for 50 minutes, then I guess I'll work for the rest of the day. I mean I don't have shit else to do. My Tuesdays and Thursdays are little more spread out, and little more full. But as a whole, it doesn't look like I'll be too terribly busy this semester. Unless you count considering graduate programs and looking for a full time position after May. I'm not excited about working in the real world, but I think I could be stoked about getting lots of money.

Not that I like money. I hate it. That's why I'm always getting rid of it in droves.

Last Day of Summer

Friday, August 29, 2003

Welcome to the last Friday of the summer, dear viewers. Another chapter of our unacademic career has come to a close. I would muse upon the experiences gained this summer, but in reality, that wouldn't take very long. I didn't do a fucking thing this summer. I went to work (fairly regularly) and drank at bars. I didn't take any vacations. I didn't go anywhere fun.

I don't mean to sound like a negative nancy though ... I count this among the best summers of my life. While in retrospect I usually regret it, I am a total home body, and I like staying home and doing nothing. Plus, I spent a LOT of money this summer, even by my standards. After all the extravagant meals, tabs at bars, a new laptop with all the fixin's, a new digital camera, a new cell phone ... christ, despite my healthy salary, I'm going into this next semester several G's in debt. How much does that fucking rawk?

I also should take into account all the friends I met this summer. I don't know what it is about summers in College Station, but people are just nicer. I wasn't even taking summer school this year and I made tons of friends (by my standards, tons is around 5 or 6). And most of them I'll probably stay in contact with throughout the school year. I have an idea, why don't each of you leave me a musings about your summer in a comment.

I decided that I wanted my blog to take on a more Jerry Seinfeld-esque observational approach to the entries. As you all may have noticed, I've become increasingly tired of narrating the goings-on of my life. I mean, if the only things you ever did were eat, sleep and drink, you'd run out of interesting ways to phrase it as well. I'm always inspired by people like Maddox or Alfie, both of whom have web pages better than mine. I've had lots of great ideas, sudden inspiration laying in bed or throughout the day, for really great blogs. Problem is, I forget them all before I sit down. Maybe once school starts and I constantly have a notebook in my possession, I'll start being able to remember things.

Anyway, I'm gonna go pretend to work now. I'm comin in on Saturday to help re-mill a board, so I don't feel like I even need to be here today. Holy shit ... fuck that, I'm leaving. I'm going home. Whoo hoo. I am so nice to myself. I love you all, laaaaaaaaaaaaate.

Lilliputian Lavatory

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

When you walk into my bathroom at the new apartment, it feels akin to a carnival fun house. The mirror is a good 6 inches too low to fix my hair. The ceiling is less than a foot above my head. And the shower sprays directly onto my chest. Just getting ready in the morning has become a bit of an acrobatic adventure.

I decided I didn't like my new hair cut last night, so I gave myself a new one. I think it looks pretty good, and the hair in the sink looked as though I'd opened my own barber shop (on account that it was 4 different naturally occuring colors). I'm gonna get Todd to thin out the sides and back for me some time. I trust him, though I don't know why. He gave me one good haircut about 3 years ago ... which makes him the most experienced of any of my friends.

Owen came back in town last night, plugged in his computer and got on the internet without any problems whatsoever. We troubleshot and determined that my wall jack is jacked. Typical. Chris leaves for Yale tomorrow so we're gonna go out and party one last time. And then tomorrow is Ryan's birfday, and we're gonna party like its his birfday. More on that, after this ...

New Do

Friday, August 22, 2003

Man, I wish I had internet at home. As soon as I do, I will take a picture of my new haircut and show it to all of you. It is wild. My mother would hate it, which means that I really, really like it. I got sections of black, brown, and bleach done today and then she cut it REALLY uneven and its spikey all over. I am so conceited that I've spent most of the day trying to find a door or a window or a mirror to look at myself. Whoo. I'm excited. Okay, thats all I had to say, see you all this weekend on the floor.

New space to live

Monday, August 18, 2003

I am updating you all from my laptop in the International Space Station because my internet at the new place is not working yet. I was hoping that I would plug in my computer and it would just fucking work, but of course, that was too much to ask for. I didn't want to mess with the the connection or the settings or anything, I just wanted, once, to plug it in and have it work. So it didn't, end of story.

Moving sucks, by the way. I forgot how bad it sucks. I do want to thank everyone who helped me move this weekend though, it really helped out.... I'm not entirely sure the sarcasm came through on that last statement. Nobody helped. Just Owen and his parents. And of course, thank you to the old roomies who left, not only everything for me to clean, everything in the pantry, everything in the refrigerator, everything in the laundry room, everything they didn't want, not to mention a huge pile of trash in the kitchen that ended up filling 10 fullsized garbage bags. No problem. I'm happy to help. No, really, seriously, I was happy to do it.

But its over now. Everything I own is in my new place, albeit in piles around the place. I'm hoping to have it all put away within a week. Owen is out of town for the week in Dallas and I'm trying to have it rearranged by the time he gets back. If anybody wants to help me arrange furniture let me know (that'll happen).

The polls are in

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

And speaking of polls, thats what this site needs. I'll have to look into that. Several people also suggested that the SiDESHO always direct you back to the main page. That can be arranged and probably will be soon as soon as I take a moment to work on some upkeep. I have tried to remain dedicated to updating the word of the day by suggestion, as well as the IM Quotes and Convo. There is also a new digital camera pic up above. This ass-to-the-ceiling thing is really catching on. You know you secretly tried to do it while you were at home. Fess up.

Enough with the bizznazz aspect of this blog. Here's the scoop. I am moving out of my duplex on Friday. Or rather, I want to. I have access to a truck from my new roommate, Owen, on Saturday, but I would like to get some of it done on Friday. So if you are in the Bryan/College Station area ... AND you own a truck ... AND you like beer (or wine or liquor or cigarettes (or whatever your fancy is that I could possibly bribe you with (provided its not too illegal))) let me know. I have a shitload of furniture to move. And I mean a shitload. I think it'll be too hard to do all in one day. I don't have to be out of the duplex officially until Sunday, but knowing me, its going to take all 3 days to get it done. I'm lazy... and fat.

Go Junior, Go Senior

Friday, August 8, 2003

This post is to inform you all of a new band on the scene: Junior Senior. Now if you've been in my car in the past few months, you might have already heard them courtesy of the demo CD that Steve-o burned for me after he saw them in Austin. Anyway, their new CD, "D-D-Don't Don't Stop the Beat" is in stores now. And it rawks.

For your listening pleasure, I have included my favorite track on the website today as the Song of the Day. It's called Move Your Feet. They also have a couple of videos on their CD and the music video for this song is so fukken rad its not even funny. I couldn't wait to share it with you all. This will probably up my bandwidth usage but who cares, just d-d-don't stop the beat. To view the video, click here.

Today I spent the day plating a copper board to be milled tomorrow. It was a riot. I think tonight I'm goin out with Ryan and Todd and some of their out of town compatriots. If you would like to join in the festivities, hit me up before then. Otherwise, I'll just see you have nots on the flip side.

Keith’s 21st Birthday et al

Saturday, August 2, 2003

Today is the first go at a photojournalistic approach to my website. When Keith came in town for his 21st birthday I made sure to drag my camera along for the ride. I joined Keith and his friends over at Mad Hatters for starters. I'm not much for casual drinking on a 21st so we quickly adjourned to the only logical bar on Northgate -- Dry Bean. This is where our first pictures are from.

Then Keith wanted to go to the Dixie Chicken. I don't know what the fuck was up with that, but it was his birthday which means he can do whatever the fuck he wants. So we went to the chicken.

The caption on that picture reads "Fuckin A." Anyway, the next exciting thing that happened was running into Christine. I haven't seen her since she moved out of her duplex next to mine. She was in town for some work thing or something. She obliged to pose for this pic.

Isn't she the cutest. These pictures sure to make my blog long without me having to say much. I guess its true what they say -- you can't squeeze blood from a dead horse, but you can make him drink. Last night was a total blast. BJ had a keg so me and the crew dropped by and drank all his beer and then went back to Dustin's for deeelicious margaritas. I ended up spending the night over there. Today I'm totally hungover. But thats what life is all about. I do need to do my laundry, though, since James totally pushed me down in the mud last night when he dropped his wallet and I tried to steal his money. It was a lot of fun. You had to be there. Okay, its time to rejoin society now, catch you all later.

An experiment: Anorexercise

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Well now that the 3,000+ hits days are starting to waver (although I'm still around 10X the number of hits I'm used to ... over 8,000 this week!) I am fast trying to think of some schtick to keep people interested in my site. I've tried many things in the past: a 24 hour webcam, rampant egocentricism, guest bloggers, The Conduit E-Zine. Yet, for some reason, this blog keeps taking on a purely narrative approach. I talk about being late to work, and drinking beer on weekends. Thats Boring with a capital B.

So, I've been searching for inspiration as of late and I think a combination of sources have come together to form a great idea. First, the last time I was home, I was reading some Reader's Digest and came across an article about eating disorders, and how young girls find support groups online that help them maintain their anorexia or bulemia. I looked one up and it was sick. It had such advice as, "Any time you feel like eating, go for a run." Wow. Also, the guy who did the journalistic approach towards Stinky Feet and Date My Sister (thespark.com) inspired me to take notes on something people can engage in, not just my boring life. Finally, the Conduit article I titled but never wrote will now be put into practice. I would like to welcome you all to Day 1 of the Anorexercise Experiment.

My coworker, Karen, and I have decided on 4 factors to track my progress on the diet plan that promises to help you shed pounds faster than your "doctor" recommends. These are Last Meal, Anorexercise, Feeling, and Waist Size. Without further ado, here are the stats for Day 1 of the Anorexercise Experiment:

Last Meal: Dinner yesterday at On the Border. I had two soft chicken tacos.
Anorexercise: Moderate yoga and a brisk morning walk.
Feeling: Light headed and hungry.
Waist Size: 32"

If you looked at yourself in the mirror today and didn't like what you saw, think about the weight loss benefits of anorexia, and the overall benefits of exercise, and try to imagine what anorexercise can do for you! Weight loss squared!

Holy Fuck: 3,000 hits later

Friday, July 25, 2003

Well first, I'd like to welcome every last fuck who ever went to Texas A&M or t.u. to my personal website. Much like the 3,000 of you who have visited my site in the past two days (about 30 times the number of hits I'm used to) I'm assuming you've found my site by following the url on the picture of the overzealous Aggie shaving the school eblem into his chest. If you're not familiar with it, you can see it below for the time being.

Its incredible to me that 3,000 people were so enthralled with a picture of a man shaving himself that you felt obliged to look up the url and follow it to my site in hopes that you might find more pictures. In fact, I've gotten so many hits from the Austin area that we're planning an entire calendar that will be available for sale later this year called "Aggie Bears Bare It All." If you want an advanced copy, send me $20, idiot.

In short, if somebody wants to shave their damn chest, then thats his prerogative. I thought it was pretty hilarious, as would you if you didn't spend your days on internet forums discussing body types of people you've never met before. Mother fuckers.

500 miles later…

Sunday, July 20, 2003

500 more miles on the car, 500 more P-town memories. Lets recap, shall we? The whole reason that I even decided to go home was because my brother from California was in town and I haven't seen him in a long time. But as it turned out, I didn't get to see him even once the whole time I was home because he was busy with one of his best friends marrying his wife's little sister. It all sounded a little incestual if you ask me.

So Friday night I dropped in on Simply Fondue to see my friend Blake that I haven't seen in a while. We chit chatted for a while and then I went home. Saturday I was woken up by JennyC■■■ who wanted me to go to Stonebriar mall with her. And I did just that. We shopped for new clothes for her for a while with her mom and then I decided that I needed to find a new outfit to go out in since I had made some plans so I went to Willowbend. I walked around for a long time and didn't find jack shit to wear. It was pathetic. I was getting frustrated and had an entire day to kill since my family was all at the wedding, so I stopped into Toni & Guy and asked if they had any appointments available. They had one open but it was with the top designer guy so it was more expensive. Sounded good to me. An hour and a half later, I walked out of there looking and feeling like a million bucks.

I went to Coach then because my friend Clay that I was going out with works there and I needed to discuss our plans. He got off at 9:30 and then came to pick me up. We ended up at a bar called Minc around 11:00. We had one drink there but it was really dead because there was some huge $40 cover charge party going on elsewhere that everyone was supposedly at. So we decided to go downtown to the Village. I'd never been there before, and after skipping out on the line and the cover charge by darting in the ajar "Re-entry Only" door, we made our rounds. Not 10 minutes after being there, who do I run into but my old pal Ryan S■■■. I didn't even know he was going to be there. That was too much fun. We caught up on all the pertinent gossip. The cool thing about every other fucking city on the face of the planet besides College Station, Texas is that when the bars stop serving alcohol they don't turn on all the lights and kick you out.

I started noticing though that Clay, who had driven to the club, was almost doubling my alcohol intake, so I decided to switch to water in anticipation of having to drive home. Its a good thing I did too. We ended up staying until about 3:30 in the morning dancing to the best remixes of today's hottest hits. I was completely drenched when we left. It was so much fun. Clay had to crash at my house for the night, but since we had 4 empty bedrooms that wasn't a problem.

Today I woke up and went swimming for a while, got my first taste of the sun this summer. I got packed and ready to go and then met Chevy at Starbucks to share some smokes and stories, just like in the days of yore. Now I'm back home in College Station and I'm really rarin' to go for this next week of work. Hope you all had as much fun as I did this weekend and I will see you on the ol' flip side.

On the road again

Friday, July 18, 2003

I'm headed back to Plano right now. My brother, Michael, is in town from California, and since I never get to see him I thought I would mosey on over. His wife's little sister is marrying one of his best friends. I don't care for weddings, especially of people who aren't immediate family, so I've forgone the invitation, but I am sure I'll see everyone involved over at mi casa.

A couple of shoutouts before I go. This blogging thing must be contagious. I see friends' blog popping up everywhere ... and not like Keiff's adventures in blogging that lasted two days, I mean real ones. So, if you ever get bored of mine, you should check out [Owen] and [Ryan S■■■].

That's all for now, folks. Have a wonderful weekend and I shall return on Sunday.

O-Dawg’s O-Ratory

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Holy crap. I've just been inside the mind of a genius. My soon-to-be-roommate, Owen, is enrolled in SCOM (Speech Communications to the layperson) this summer. His first assignment was to write a speech comparing him to a famous person. In the end, the famous person he chose was ... the common household lightbulb. I thought it was pretty cool that he'd chosen a person invented by the late, great American-extraordinaire, Albert Einstein. But I had no idea how cool it was until he sent me a copy of his speech. My favorite part of it wasn't even a part of the speech, just his notes at the top. And now, I invite you all to take a taste of the sheer madness that is Owen:

Light bulb: bright. internal circuitry. pale white. 60W(use power). give off heat(how much heat?). / incandescant. 120VAC(call someone at the electric company[ants crawling up arm]). canada(ask mom[how do i know this? i asked the one person that would know.). thomas edison. tungsten(what is that, and what is it made of?)

That is all, thank you.

Day 7 of withdrawl

Friday, June 20, 2003

Still no word on when the internet will be fixed at my house. The reason there is no word is because I haven't gotten around to calling Cox to tell them that my internet has been down now for 7 days. I don't think my roommate would call either because that probably constitutes a "boy's job." So I have to spend more and more time at work chatting just to keep up to date with the goings on of my online compatriots. Sad, I know, but so very, very true.

This weekend I'm heading up to Dallas. JennyC■■■ is having a house warming party that I may or may not make it to. Its supposably tonight but who knows what time I'll hit the road, and make it to Plano. I have a few friends I'm planning on hanging out with whilst in Dallas, so it should keep me busy the whole time that I'm there. Clay lives in Plano now with his parents, so I'm sure he'll be one of the first I call. And my old friend Blake just moved into a fat loft downtown, so I might just have to go check that out. Other than that I plan on doing some shopping in a proper mall because Post Oak is a sorry excuse for a great shopping place. I'll be back on Sunday night and I will see you all then. Peace.

In need pof a new keybpoard

Saturday, May 24, 2003

.:Let'\s see if this wi;l;l even wpork Npot rea;l;ly, spo this may be a shport b;lpog I apo;lpogize fpor the ;lack pof cporrect pounctuatipon, but it reads in the poeripod as bpoth a poeripod and a carriage . return Ypou see, ;last night my friend James came in tpo tpown spo he came pover tpo watch spome . mpovies and drink a ;litt;le bit He decided tpo use the rest pof my margarita mix tpo make a cpoup;le . pof de;licipous margaritas pon the rpocks Tpoday, my keybpoard is sticky and ma;lfunctiponing I ca;l;led James tpo see if he had spoi;l;led his margarita pon my keybpoard and I'\m fai;lry certain that he did because his stporey poropgressed ;like this "|Npo i didn'\t use ypour cpompouter ;last night'\ tpo '\yeah i did check my emai;l'\ tpo '\i think i might have gpotten a ;litt;le bit pon there'\ ;litt;le bit . my ass, this this is fucked upo tpo high heaven,i have tpo get a new pone npow the mpost annpoying thing abpout it is that the vpo;lume buttpon is fused with teh standby, the directipon keys are tied in . with the de;letes and c;lear screens I basica;l;lycan'\t dpo anything I want But I sti;l;l upodated my . webpoage, because I ;lpove ypou a;l;l Take care kiddpos, I'\;l;l seeypou again when I get a new .keybpoard

Lots of new news

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Man, a lot has happened since I visited you last. I apologize for the hiatus, but I've been keeping pretty busy at work. Yes, I have a job. I'm doing some work for this company called NASA. They're like an aerospace company based out of Houston or something. The important thing is that they're giving me money! And its to do what I love doing best ... reading technical documentation and designing real time control systems. Yay! So that takes up my 8 to 5's. I'm about to start bucklin down and really churning out some results.

I had also planned this summer to work out every day. But as it turns out, the fucking rec center closes at 8pm every day, a time that is not convenient for yours truly. I already paid for the summer though, so whenever I get a free chance during their regular business hours, I'm going to sneak over there and argue with them and try to get my money back and take my business over to Gold's so I can actually get started on this workout routine. I did get my haircut though, that was another part of my plan, so check out the new webcam shot and compliment me.

I did manage to have some fun last week in between working. Like on Wednesday, Brandon called me in the morning to tell me that all of his hours got cut from work so he had the day off. Just then, my boss told me he was heading to Dallas for the day ... coincidence? I think not. So I hopped in the car and drove to Austin. Brandon's family just got a new house thats right on some river that feeds off of (or into?) Lake Travis. So it was like a 5 minute drive over to the Lake where we spend the day swimming and laying out in the sun in this field. I really felt like I was in a Country Time Lemonade commercial. It was much more fun than working, I'll tell you that much. I ended up leaving the next day cause I was too tired and lazy to drive home in the dark. Fantastic time.

I also managed to sneak over to Northgate a couple of times. It's been rather mundane what with everyone being out of town, but its still fun to sit and drink and chit chat with friends and strangers. In fact, I might try to find someone to go out with me tonight. I'm in the mood for a good hangover.

But, my friends, most importantly, lets talk about a little flick we call The Matrix: Reloaded. I'm not evil enough to divulge any of the plot on this website, but I am able to tell you that if I were to choose two words to describe it, they would be infuckingcredible and unfuckingbelievable. This movie is so damn good, just like I always knew it would be. I saw it last night for the first time with Ryan. And then today me and Owen were looking for an apartment. First we got hungry, so we ate, and then I started talking about the movie so we went to go see it. So we didn't find a place to live, but we did get to see the Matrix, so that makes it all worth while. I might go see it again tonight if no one will go out drinking with me. Oh my god its so fucking good. Go see it now so we can talk about it. And if you've seen it, IM me and we'll discuss. Okay, hope everyone's having a great summer, don't forget to check in with me from time to time. Laaaaaaaaaaaate.

Free at Last

Friday, May 9, 2003

In the words of the great Albert Einstein, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank god almighty, free at last!" Boy if the words of the greatest American ever don't just sum it up, I don't know what does. I am done with finals, done with grading, done with it all. Now its on to the summer. I will tell you all about it, but first I wanted to introduce something my good buddy Joseph sent me called the Shizzolator. It will translate any page into how Snoop Dogg would say it. (http://www.asksnoop.com) The rest of the blog I am going to write in Shizzolator style.

So I'm pretty sho that I gots A's in izzall of my major courses this semester n' shit. It's chemistry that's really going fuck me up n' shit. I don't think there's any way I could has gotten lower than a C in there but I would really rather has a B. I doubt there's any way I can make an A either n' shit. Regardless of what happens, that shiznit is really over this time." None of this hard work over da summer shit n' shit. I am getting an internship wit da space center in College Station, though, 'n that's going take up a lot of my time, methinks, know what I'm sayin'? I am bound 'n determined start my workout program on Monday though n' shit. I also need stretch a lot this summer so I won't be completely embarassed in my yoga class next semester, know what I'm sayin'?

Oh yeah, 'n Keith moved out 'n some brizzle moved in n' shit. I came crib one day 'n Keith's room is izzall girly 'n there brizzle wuz n' shit. She like hosted a dinner party tonight, I dunno, know what I'm sayin'? I wuz too busy seeing X-Fools 2, which wuz fucking badass, just in case yo' ass wanted know n' shit. I recommed everyone go see X-Fools now! I also seen da fucking trailer fo' The Matrix n' shit. Thus far I've avoided that shiznit, but that shiznit wuz right there in front of me 'n I couldn't look away, know what I'm sayin'? I had scream a few expletives during that shiznit, know what I'm sayin'? That move is going change my life forever, 'n I'm frightened by da prospect, know what I'm sayin'?

So this week I really don't has anything lined up." If yo' ass're staying in town fo' da summer, hit me up 'n we can arrange some weekly boozing sessions or something." Oh, one a footnote, happy birthday Eric G■■■■ two turned da big ass 23 this Wednesday n' shit. Always nice celebrate a bday wit a fellow Northgate regular n' shit. Excelsior! I'll see yo' ass izzall on da flip siiiiide n' shit.

Great week for ENTC

Sunday, April 27, 2003

First, lets flash back to Thursday where our story begins. We had the IEEE-Tech golf tournament, which is like a big deal in my major. All these dudes from industry come down and they each get put into a team of 4 with 3 students. Its like a networking thing, and everyone plays golf. Well, I don't play golf, nor do I walk around on an 18 hole course, so I asked if there was anything I could do to help that didn't involve golfing. So I got to drive the beverage cart. It was so damn fun. I spent all day cruising around the Bryan golf course handing out drinks to the golfer. Those golf carts are like big go-karts and it was totally fun for like 5 hours. And I got to drink beer and be outside on a beautiful day. I had such a blast. After that, we all went to Rudy's for a free dinner and one of the industry guys started a tab and called an open bar. Open bar, dude! Then, me and a few others reconveined at Fox and Hound to drink some more. And THEN, AllieD met up with me there and we went to Mad Hatters for the rest of the day. It was such a great day of reckless abandon and boozing.

The next day I only had one class at 3:00, thank jebus. I managed to make it to that class and all he did was give up back our grades for our calculators. We spent all semester making our calculators and I got a 91 on mine, which was fine with me. If I do well on the final I can make an A in that class, no problem. That night was also my neighbor, Breezy's, birthday party. So we just had a keg in our backyard. Not many people showed up at first, but people started trickling in later and it was also a total blast. Just shootin the shit and drinkin some beers.

Then Saturday I had to get up kinda early to go to Zachry for the MPX. In another class of mine we've been studying wireless technology by controlling these mobile platforms (MPIII's). And we had organized this race amongst all the teams. It had all kinds of tricky parts in it, like a section that was blacked out so you had to use a light and a camera to navigate it. It had a figure 8, a hairpin turn, and a section where you had to drive backwards. Anyway, me and my team MARS (Sean, Owen and Max) got first place with a time of 2:50. Second place came in at 2:51, which was really exciting. So we got little trophies and the highest grade on that semester project as well. Like I said, it was a great week to be ENTC.

Today I already went to the Rec and laid out by the pool. Gotta get back into the swing of laying out for this summer. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do this summer, but I'm not too worried about it. I know it'll be fun. This coming week I have presentations to sit through, projects to work on, a webpage to make, and a shitload of documentation to write. So I'm gonna be staying busy, that's for sure. Soon enough, my friends, soon enough, this semester will be over and we'll all have a chance to regain our composure and get ready for the next. I have two more semesters before graduation and then I'm really going to have to decide what I want to do with my life. How freaky is that. I try not to think about it too much. Anyway, I hope everyone has a good week, fun during dead days and does well on finals. I'll see you all on the other side.

The End is Near

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

I would be lying if I said that this past week has been the best ever, but things are starting to look up. Its nothing a little Tums and some prescription drugs creatively acquired from Beutal can't fix. I put up a new song of the day by the Goo Goo Dolls. It's pretty descriptive of how I've felt lately. Check it out even if you hate the Goo Goo Dolls. The downside is that whenever I get down, I get apathetic. So its been really hard for me to get excited about spending my days at Thompson getting shit done. I wouldn't say that I'm behind, but I'm definitely not as on top of my game as I used to be. I needed a break though. Hopefully I'll be rarin' to go by the time finals come around.

Speaking of, my god, finals are right around the corner. I didn't realize that this semester was so close to over. There's like 2 weeks left or something. Its almost time to start sitting around reminicing over everything that's happened this semester, but I'll save that for a later blog.

I still don't know what I'm going to be doing this summer. I turned down an internship at NASA that would have required me moving to Houston for 10 weeks. I like can't break my lease and don't feel like finding storage and a moving truck and everything that would be required. So I'm gonna be stayin here on Medina. Speaking of, if you are looking for a summer lease, we need to sublease two rooms so let me know. The price is good, and you can't beat the location.

I just talked to my lab partner, Owen, and we are going to live together next semester. Soon enough his title will change from 'lab partner' to 'roommate' which is a pretty substantial promotion. So look forward to his name being in this blog more often. Well, I'm gonna go reheat some more of my massive stash of Olive Garden leftovers and then hit the hay. I'm driving the refreshments cart at the IEEE-Tech Golf tournament tomorrow and I want to be up and alert. Rawk!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmk

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

So I guess all I have to do if I want a lot of comments to be posted by anonymous well wishers, all I have to do is post controversial depictions of history. I didn't mean to slight Scott's beer chugging abilities in the least, I was merely unaware that he had finished first. So congratufuckinglations to him. Indeed, a job well done. Everyone else, as always, can gig this. It is, however, flattering to know so many people frequent my website.

How fun was that power outtage, eh? I was sittin in Thompson working on my calculator user manual when everything went down. We decided to call it a lunch break, but it turned out that nowhere could serve food. Talk about sucking. There was absolutely nothing to do. So many times that day I was like "Oh I'll go do ... no, can't ... but I could ... no wait ... I'll just go home and ... no, no I won't." Man, I love electricity and miss it when its gone. I ended up making the best of the bad situation though. Despite the fact that I had a shitload of studying on the internet to do, as well as finishing up some programs and writing some papers, I managed to relax based on the fact that I could not possibly do any of them. So I rode the bus over to Brandon's apartment and we sat out on his patio and chilled in the nice weather just waiting it out. That was really fun until the bubbles came on in the hot tub, and we realized the power was back. I had to go back to school and he got called back into work, so we walked over to my house and I gave him a ride to work.

In other news, today I took a chemistry test that was pretty hard. I think I did alright on it though. All I need is a C so I can pass this stupid class and be done with it, and I'm pretty sure that I got it. I don't want to be presumptious though. Anywho, I gotta run, my little break is over.

Travel plans: I'm heading to Austin tomorrow to present some projects to the good folks at National Instruments. And then Saturday I'm going to Houston to have easter with my brother. But I will definitely see you all on the flip siiiide.

Grammar Deputies

Sunday, April 6, 2003

Alright, alright, alright, children. Enough with the nitpicking of each other's posts. As the Grammar Sheriff, I can only hope you Grammar Deputies will start behaving yourselves. Nobody is proofreading here (well, I don't have to, thats why I don't) so it's stupid to disect each other. Jebus, sometimes I feel like the focus of this webpage is drifting away from its original purpose: the unadulterated adoration of me. The CTRJFS.C may be inadvertantly destroying its beloved SVC. Just something to think about.

In all honesty though, that would be impossible, because I rule and I'm the master of my own domain, so to speak. If you can't tell by my demeanor, I've been spending a little bit too much time recently reading over Maddox's webpage. If you don't know who Maddox is immediately, then you suck, really hard. And you need to go his website STAT and read all of his posts. Its the best webpage in the universe. http://maddox.xmission.com/

So for the more day-to-day update. I did not go out to Northgate this Thursday because I had a hair appt early on Friday morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, say what you will, but it was the only time I could get and I did not want to be hung over for a haircut. And lord knows, I refuse to party in moderation. Anyway, my hair looks sabulous. I think I'll snap a pic of it on the webcam as soon as I take a shower and fix it cause right now it looks like that Indian chief guy from Dances with Wolves. If any of you in College Station need a good haircut and are sick of the bullshit you get from EVERY dumb whore with a pair of scissors and want, just once, for someone to understand what you want and make your hair look good like you want it ... then you have got to go to Cutler2 and ask for Hannah. If you need the phone number, hit me with an IM and I'll give it to you. She's incredible.

So since I didn't go out Thursday, and I was looking so good Friday, I decided to hit the Northgate with AllieD and Jamie. Jamie still isn't drinking because of his whole lenten thing. Hopefully it will help him get into heaven. Anyway, this weekend all of the kids got their Aggie Rings, so Northgate was insane with people dunking at the Chicken (an absolutely attrocious idea). So we get there and there is this throng of people out back. I'd estimate at least 250 people. And you know me, I can't handle crowds, so I'm like "oh shit." But being the trooper I am, I got some cash and we headed for the Library. Mmmk, we walk in and there are like 8 people in there. Wonderful! People came and went all night, but it never got crowded because all the people that were outback were dirty locals and inbred rednecks who wouldn't be allowed in the Library even if they wanted to. Oh yeah, and the power went out. That was so exciting. All of Northgate lost power. Actually, it wasn't that exciting. It was just a little darker. Luckily, we already had drinks, so we continued to sit and drink and chat unphased by the lack of light and AC. I was tempted to steal this really kickass painting off the wall and escape out the back door, but alas, my conscience won out once again.

So thats my update for now. Everything else is pretty fabulous. School's going good. I probably shouldn't post this on my website, but my ring dunking is next Saturday. Its going to be a pretty big party. I won't disclose the location tho, but if you feel like you should have been invited and weren't hit me up with an IM. Just a hint: If you weren't invited, that was probably on purpose. But its worth a shot right? Ha. Well, I gotta run, I'm meeting Joseph for lunch. Peace out, you have fucking nots!

To CTRJFSV.C

Friday, April 4, 2003

Note: This blog was part of a short-lived experiment involving a guest blogger, my friend, Joseph W.

I want to directly address the CTRJFS.C and their despicable use of the english language in replies to my last post. In particular, their most recent "comment" begs us to question not only their intelligence, but their belief in principles which ViD himself holds close to his heart. I dare say, would a true SVC fan desecrate the rules of grammar as you have CTRJFSV.C? For all the viewers who haven't yet read the comment, let me post it now,

"Ok now, I know that my idea to create the CTRJFS.C was creative, funny, and a damn good idea so that we don't have to listen to joseph's crap any longer. But, someone that's hard up for material(cough, cough joseph) creates this psydo-committee. I mean what kind of loser suggests that we eliminate the VID in sideshovid.com Obviously, joseph and his funny self, thought it would be a good idea. Sadly, like his blogs, joseph has gone down in flames. DOWN WITH joseph DOWN WITH joseph!!!!"

First off, what the hell are you talking about? Who said to get rid of ViD? Secondly, can we say "sentence fragment?" Furthermore, I'm pretty sure you meant pseudo (sue-do), not psydo (side-oh). As I'm sure most viewers can see, we could go on and on here picking apart the obvious fallacies found within this short, poorly functioning comment.

That must wait until later though, because now I must head out for the night. Take it easy folks.

Dissention amongs the ranks

Thursday, April 3, 2003

I turn my back on my beloved Sidesho-Viewers for a couple days and all hell has broken loose. Its absolute anarchy at SideshoViD.com. I took the time the other day to discuss with Joseph the goings on as of late, namely the CTRJFS.C. I wanted to get his feedback on the whole issue. He put on a brave face, but I could tell through his IMs that deep down inside lay a broken man. Hopefully, it won't discourage him from his post.

The thing we noticed that struck me as odd was that all of the comments from CTRJFS.C came from an ip address that was traced back to Carrollton, TX. I dare say, I do not know anyone from such a hole as Carrollton. I used to know people from there, but thankfully they have all moved away, allowing them to remain friends despite their upbringing. Long story short, if CTRJFS.C wishes their identity to be known (publicly or just by me) let me know because I'm mildly interested.

Other than the drama in the LBC things have been going great. I think I have a sleeping disorder, but thats nothing a little nightcap can't take care of. Life is good, life is grand. Catch you sluts on the flip siiiide.

Funniest Video Ever

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

So I looked at my friend Matt P■■■'s buddy profile and saw a link called "FUNNIEST VIDEO EVER." I clicked it cause I'm bored, and I was rewarded with what was, indeed, the funniest video ever. I hope he doesn't mind me linking to him. If its a problem with the bandwidth or something, just let me know.
MEOW!

Also, I saw another magic special with David Blaine today. I am convinced that this man is Jesus. I saw him bite a quarter in half and then spit it back into once piece. Its fucking incredible. I've seen him levitate too. If that isn't evidence I don't know what is.

And on a final note, check out the new Beastie Boy's song. Its really good ... and my first comment on this war on SideshoViD.com thus far.

Committee to Remove Joseph from SideshoViD.com

Sunday, March 23, 2003

This message is for the Committee to Remove Joseph from SideshoViD.com, which I still think is fucking hilarious. Poor Joseph. Its never fun to have an organization formed for the specific purpose of being against you. Trust me, dude, I know from experience if you know what I'm saying.

As far as actually removing Joseph, I say we give him another chance. More than likely he'll be around at least until the end of summer. If he continues to not meet your standards, continue posting comments against him. We here at SideshoViD.com love our loyal viewers.

But then again, I love myself even more and I want to make me happy. And Joseph amuses me. So as long as he continues to do so he'll probably be around.

scrofulous (SKROF-yuh-luhs) adjective
1. Of or pertaining to or affected with scrofula.
2. Morally corrupt.

Back from the Texas Tour

Thursday, March 13, 2003

I am back in College Station, folks, and I have to say ... it appears as though nothing has changed. I had a good time on my impromptu semi-annual Spring Break tour of Texas. I'd like to take you on a journey now, if I might. A journey through my week.

I arrived in Austin on Sunday evening and first went to JennyC■■■'s friend's house. Her name was Lindsey and she actually lived up in Pfluggerville, just north of Austin. Its not half as fun to be there as it is to say the name. We ended up playing Speed Scrabble for half the night. Pearl and Matt P■■■, two friends from high school, were supposed to be in town to take me out and show me a good time in Austin, but when I called them to see what the dillyo, they were in Houston and not coming back anytime soon. So I was stranded in Pfluggerville. Believe it or not, with very little prodding, I actually convinced JennyC■■■ to go to 6th Street with me. Several things about this make it amazing. First, Jenny doesn't drink or party and had never even been to 6th street despite being a t-sip. Secondly, Jenny is a staunch Mormon these days and generally separates herself from situations ... situations that I call "my life," for instance. Thirdly, this was a Sunday night, the day that should be spent feeling shame and remorse, not having fun.

However I did it, though, I managed to cajole her out to the bars. First we headed to Shadow Lounge or something to that effect. We went there because Steve-o was hanging out in Austin and I was gonna hang out with him. When we walked in though, there was a shadow of a girl dancing suggestively and loud heavy rock music blaring. This proved too much for Jenny's fragile defenses toward all things carnal, so after I said my brief hellos to Steve-o, we had to split. We ended up finding a nice little bar that was all green on the inside and had trees and shit. Tres chic. I had a couple drinks and Jenny got served for free, since her drinks had no alcohol in them. And when I say no alcohol, I mean no alcohol. Alcohol free!

We stayed that night at Jenny's friend Fabian's house. So I wanted to thank him for his warm hospitality and comfy drop cloth to sleep on. The next day we went shopping on the drag but art majors don't generally shop ... or eat or drink or listen or watch or associate ... with anything trendy, so I was basically shopping by myself. I called up Brandon and he met me out there so I would have someone to actually venture into the stores with me. Our final destination of the evening was the movie theater where we saw The Hours. I don't feel like I'm exaggerating when I say The Hours is the worst movie ever made. Under no circumstances should it be viewed by anyone. In fact, I left the theater once to have a cigarette because I was so fucking bored, and again at the end to catch the last 15 minutes of Shanghai Knights. The Hours was horrible. Worst movie ever. Thats what you get for going to the theater with art majors.

After that rousing viewing experience, I decided to hop in the car and drive to San Antonio. It was already around 10:30 but the prospect of another night on the floor of a painty apartment prompted me to make the midnight trek. I hung out with Kevin for about an hour before we went home and went to bed. His Spring Break is next week so he still had class to go to early in the morning. Tuesday night we went to this badass bar called Cheerleaders. And when I say "badass" I mean "totally lame." I pissed and moaned until we left and went back to Todd's house to drink. I ended up drinking all night long while debating political and social issues with people who were turned a little bit backwards and needed a good smack upside the head, although to do so would have negated my entire point. It was still fun though.

I opted to stay and extra day since I was hungover the next day until dusk and didn't feel much like driving home in the dark. So I got up this morning at like 7 when Kevin was getting ready for school and I hit the open road. Now, I find myself back in College Station. I have plenty to do in the remainder of my week. I have a document/presentation due Tuesday. Thats my most pressing concern. I would also like to work out, do my laundry and clean my room. We'll see if that ever actually happens.

Now, each of you, don't leave me hanging. Hit me back with a comment instead of an IM to let me know how your Spring Break is going/went. Hope you had as much fun as me. Peace, I'm outta here.

Stephen Hawking

Sunday, March 9, 2003

Yesterday I went to see Dr. Stephen Hawking give a lecture on Gödel and the end of Physics. It was really cool. I was surprised at how many jokes he threw into his lecture. For instance, he started off by apologizing for his voice, since he knew his accent was not exactly Texan. Then he went on to say something about how he holds the same prestigious chair in physics once held by Isaac Newton, only back then, the chair was not motorized. That guy can really cut it up, I tell you. I also got to be like 2 feet away from him before the show cause he kinda mingled in the lobby for a while. Now that Einstein is gone, I find comfort in other great minds to console me.

I went to the lecture with Keith, Burns, Joseph, AllieD, Jamie, and my friend JennyC■■■ from Plano. She just flew in that day to see Stephen Hawking cause she's like his biggest groupie. Anyway, the lecture was really interesting, he's an incredible speaker despite not having a voice. He really knows how to explain these abstract, incredibly involved and difficult concepts so the layperson can at least begin to understand them. I'm really glad I got to go.

Since Jenny flew here, she really has no way to get back to Plano. I said I would take her but since my parents are out of town anyway, there's really no point in going there. So instead, I'm taking her to Austin today. We're gonna hang out for a couple of days and then she's going to Greyhound it home. It should be fun since I've only been to Austin twice, and never really gotten to hang out in the city. Pearl and Matt P■■■ from high school said they would take me out tonite to have real fun since Jenny doesn't do anything fun like clubbing or drinking. Should be interesting. Anyway, I'll be back Tuesday, but will have my cell if you need to get a hold of me. Hope you're all having a terrific Spring Break.

Disgruntle my nutz

Thursday, March 6, 2003

Too bad disgruntled reader won't be around to read this. Something new! And just for all my loyal Sidesho-Viewers. A lot has happened, but I am going to try and summarize it into just a few paragraphs. First, we have to start off with Ms Allison's 22nd birthday! Happy Birthday Allison! We had such a crazy night that night. We started off partying at home and then went to Northgate, where I realized I did not have my ID because I gave it to Ryan the night before to buy drinks for 2 people. So I was SOL until Ryan could make it up to Northgate. So I chilled at and had a sub from New York Sub. Tres good. That night was the night of chuggin, I dare say. We started off at home with Flaming Dr Peppers and Jäger Bombs, and proceeded to Northgate for a massive amount of shots, Flaming Dr Peppers and Saki Bombs. After the Saki Bombs they gave us some raw crab to munch on. It was so damned good that I had to go get some for lunch the other day.

Other than that, school is going well. I had a big test today that I wasn't all too happy with. I knew everything there was to know, but just fucked up and forgot some stuff on the test. And it wasn't like I was sitting there wracking my brain trying to remember, I just straight up forgot to include it. Thats what sucks about it. I left the test thinking I had a 100 and the more I think about it, now I'm expecting like an 80. Ohh well, at least I have an A in chemistry. Boo yah. I'm making an A in a freshman level course ... something I've never ever done before.

So I have one meeting tomorrow and then Spring Break is upon us. I think I'll spend most of my time lounging about and working on projects. On Saturday I am going to listen to Stephen Hawking give a lecture on campus. I'm really stoked about that. My friend JennyC■■■ from Plano is coming up to see him. She's the biggest Hawking fan ever. I don't think she ever misquotes him, but she does like him. I was also supposably gettting a ticket to Peter Paul & Mary from mi padre, but he just called tonight and said the show was totally sold out. He's gonna see if he can't get a couple tickets on cancellations, but I'm not getting my hopes up. That totally sucks, that concert would have rawked.

Anyway, I'll be in College Station for the majority of the Spring Break. Jenny is flying here, and I may give her a ride home, even though my parents are like gone for the week or something. And I might go see Kevin again if I can't convince him to come here. Other than that, its calculators, mobile platforms, and DUT test plans for yours truly. Hope everyone has a crazier Spring Break than I!

indite (in-DYT) verb tr.

To write or to compose.

One Year Anniversary

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Happy Birthday to SideshoViD.com! You all may not realize it since the website, the domain, and the legend have been around much longer, but it has been almost exactly one year since SideshoViD.com as we know it today came into existence. I would have blogged on the exact day that my blog turned the big 01, but I fell asleep and woke up after midnight. I meant to go to lab tonight, but damned if it wasn't just too fucking cold to go back to campus once I got home.

My weekend with Kevin was a blast. I got some killer new shoes from Steve Madden. I snapped a picture of them on the webcam even though they're hard to see. They're just all black tenny's. Tres chic. We also went bowling and cheated and got really high scores. I haven't bowled in so long and I sucked so bad that we played 7 Pin No Tap to make me feel better. I ended up with a 211. We went and saw Old School as well. Oh man, was it hilarious. I highly recommend the flick to everyone. One night we also went to watch his sister, Laura, play in some like basketball game. They totally dominated, I was impressed. That was about the extent of everything productive that we did.

The rest of the weekend was spent sitting outside of the local smoothie shop where Kevin's friend Andrew works drinking free smoothies and basically trashing the place. We also went to a couple parties at Todd's house which I'm still laughing about. I swear everyone there besides Todd, Kevin, me and a few others were like 18 and below. I got asked several times what grade I was in to which I responded, "the sixteenth." I also made a habit of asking people who their homeroom teacher was. I felt kinda special though because it was my first real high school party. I didn't go to high school parties when I was in high school mostly cause I didn't know when and where they were happening. And now, here I am, not 4 years later and not only am I AT the party, but i'm TOO COOL for the party. Sweet vindication, dear friends. So sweet.

Anyway, it was a really great time. I may go back to see Kevin over Spring Break, he may come here, I dunno, I dunno, its all really up in the air. Anyway, wish a Happy Birthday to my blog and I'll catch you sluts on the flip side.

The once and future plans

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

Ahhh, the joys of a dual blog. I can always rely on ol' Joseph to fill in the parts of my stories that I conveniently forget to include. No harm done though, I doubt anyone was met with any amount of resounding shock at the implications of Joseph's last blog concerning me.

This weekend I am going to be going to San Antonio to visit Kevin. I haven't seen him since our birthday (which is July 6th, write it down). The catalyst to this decision is this gift certificate thats been burning a hole in my pocket. My parents got me a gift certificate to Steve Madden shoes for Christmas, but in the post-Christmas shopping madness, their entire stock was wiped out. So rather than settle for something I didn't want, I decided to hang onto the gift certificate to order online at a later date. Well it turns out that you can only redeem this gift IN the store. Also, it turns out there are only 3 Madden outlets in the state of Texas. Two are in Plano and one is in San Antonio about 15 minutes from Kevin's house. So wahlah, there was my decision. Earlier today I told my buddies in lab that I was gonna go to San Antonio and when queried as to the reason, I prompted them to guess. Eerily, Owen's first guess was to buy shoes. He swears he didn't over hear me saying it earlier, which just means that I have GOT to get out of the lab and stop spending so much time with him.

My brother informed me that he's going to be in College Station on Saturday which kinda sucks that I'll be out of town, but the wheels of destiny have already been set in motion and I fear the inertia is too great to reverse. So I won't get to hang out with him.

Joseph's been sending me some emails and IMs about some pretty exciting things that he would like to go on at SideshoViD.com. I don't want to reveal anything at this point, but lets just say that SideshoViD.com might be coming to a theater near you ... Okay thats a complete lie. But do look forward to some new innovations. Czech you skillets on the flip side. Laaaaaaate.

sobriquet (SOO-bri-kay) noun, also soubriquet
- A fancy nickname or a humorous name.

Howdy!

Monday, February 17, 2003

Note: This blog was part of a short-lived experiment involving a guest blogger, my friend, Joseph W.

Howdy folks, I just saw the conclusion to "Joe Millionaire" and let me just say I was pretty disappointed. First off, I was disappointed because when he told them he had been lying he didn't laugh and tell them they were on tv. Second, and this issue is more general, I don't feel like he really extorted everything he could out of these gold-diggers. He allowed the women to leave the show with their morality and dignity intact, and as far as I'm concerned, that breaks rule #1 of reality television.

Instead, I think the show should have been entitled something to the effect of "What will she do for $50,000,000?", with each episode chocked full of Evan forcing the girls to perform humiliating and degrading tasks in order to move on. At the very least, this would have been more entertaining than having to listen to the guy cry about the moral dilemma he found himself in. Wah wah, now get your ass out in front of those cameras and make these women earn their money.

Well thats it for right now, I know it was short, but I have to get back to studying for a test. As soon as I can I'd like to post about my eventful Valentines Day as well as my Thursday night on Northgate with ViD. Later.

Let me introduce myself

Sunday, February 9, 2003

Note: This blog was part of a short-lived experiment involving a guest blogger, my friend, Joseph W.

Thank you very much David, I appreciate the opportunity to collaborate with you on this wonderful version of SideshoViD.com! As always folks, I feel some really exciting things are happening around here, but before we get to all that, why don't I let you know a little bit more about me.

As ViD mentioned, I have managed my own blog for over six months now, and I'm a junior economics major at Texas A&M University. That's really all you need to know about me at this point.

I first met SideshoViD my freshman year, when I had the ungodly fortune of living with him for my first semester in college. He and his cronies managed to make my life a virtual hell that semester, although the excessive drinking, sleep deprivation, and psychotic girlfriend did nothing to contribute to a peaceful state of mind. All in all though, I carry some fond memories from my time in Moore Hall.

Later that year, I moved in with my friend "Stinky." For those of you who don't know the story, the name Stinky wasn't just an affectionate nickname given to that big teddy bear. Literally, a pungant odor followed him wherever he went, even after he would take a shower. Haha, As I remember, ViD used to claim that by the time he hit the stairs in the dorm, he could "call" whether or not Stinky was in our room, which was about 10 doors down from the stairs. Anyway, soon after I moved in with Stinky, he got kicked out of the university for some schoolboy stunt he pulled in the quad outside our dorm.

Sometime after that, ViD and I began to repair the broken down friendship that was a remnant of our time as roommates, and I began to learn html.

I guess you could say the rest is history, and I'm very excited about being a part of such an exciting webpage. People all across the internet are IMing me and, they're all excited, that's what they are. So I hope you'll sit back and enjoy the next few months that will hopefully be full of some funny stories. Also, we plan to occasionally post a "Point-Counterpoint," where we face off on some of today's most controversial issues. It promises to be very exciting, as long as nobody comes along and throws a monkey wrench in the whole process. That's all I've got for now. Talk to you later.

What a boring night

Saturday, February 8, 2003

Note: This blog was part of a short-lived experiment involving a guest blogger, my friend, Joseph W.

Well I went and studied tonight. Yeah, yeah, I know, but David is sick apparently, and we all know, if David is sick, Joseph doesn't come out to play. Yeah, NOT really.

Ok well I'm just seeing how this works so far. All I can say is Some Very Exciting Things Are Happening.

Weekly Update

Saturday, February 1, 2003

It seems that this has become a bit of a weekly occurence these days. I'm sorry to all of my loyal Sidesho-Viewers ... I just don't ever feel like blogging anymore. I've been really busy and enjoying that fact. I do my best to have a list of things to do every day and get them done. So far my system has been flawless, but I just know that one little monkey wrench will cause the whole thing to self destruct.

Last night I went to Ptar's with my neighbor, Breezy. We met up with Ryan and Todd and their friend Sam. Sam was insistent on buying everyone shots. Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't complaining, and I certainly wasn't declining ... but I got real drunk on Thursday so i was trying to take it easy last night. Well then I get a call from my lab partner, Owen, and he's at Northgate. It had totally slipped my mind that it was his 21st birthday. So congrats to Owen, Happy Birthday.

Now, some people at the Ptarmigan were a tad perplexed that I would leave them to go to Northgate to hang out with my lab partner. But if you know me at all you know that me and my lab partners spend more time together than me and my roommates do. Plus Owen never drinks so it was a special occasion. Me and Breezy met up with Owen at Northgate and headed right for Dry Bean. I knew that I had to buy him a Royal Fuck, the best shot on the menu. That was fun, then I decide we need another. So we took a Sex with an Alligator. Good stuff. Then K■■■ came in and he was having a round of Jäger Bombs. So I threw in for Owen to join us. Immediately following that Owen claims that he's always wanted to try a Saki Bomb from Kyoto Sushi. What a champ. So we went and took a Saki Bomb. Needless to say, it was Carpool for the ride home. I ended up seeing Allison and Christine out at Northgate so we rode together. I know that I drank a few more beers, ate some frozen Mexican food and then passed out on Allison's couch.

It was a great night. Man, these weekend posts are consisting of nothing but a drink menu from my night before. Oh well, its more exciting to talk about than digital outputs needed to control an SM-E040 stepper motor. I called Owen today and he said he threw up in Chevron and then at home, for any of those that were wondering. The story wouldn't be complete without that. So I hope everyone else had as good a weekend as I did. Leave a comment some time this week if ANY of you have the time. Peace out, have nots.

Partyin’ with Duwan and Cody

Saturday, January 25, 2003

Sigh, its that time again. That time when I have nothing better to do than sit down and update my webpage. You're in luck though because I have a really good story for you all. Well, actually, its just a good story to me, you might hate it, but I don't care.

So Joseph came over last night to get drunk with me. We had some Coors and Stones and sat around bullshitting. We went outside for a smoke and there were two girls standing outside my house, so we started talking to them. It turned out that one of them used to live in my neighbor's duplex, and they were just visiting. They were attending a party in the next building down from me and invited us to go over there with them. Aight, so we went.

We walk in and every guy there is like 8 feet tall and 250 lbs, and every girl is skinny, blonde, and huge-breasted. I was wearing a sweatshirt and a tennis head band. Me and Joseph, Matt and Suds ... mosdef stood out like sore thumbs. So the party starts dying down and Joseph recognizes all of these guys as being A&M football players. He sees Duwan Gentry, who plays corner back, and in his drunken state decides to go talk to him. Joseph's all "Hey whatsup Duwan, how do you like Franchionne?" and this guy does NOT want to talk to Joseph, he's all flipping thru his cell phone numbers looking for an out. And then Cody Scates walks in and Duwan was like "What'd you say Cody, hold on I'll be right there" and makes his escape. I guarantee you that Cody didn't say a word to him. It was so funny.

So that's my story. I love crashing parties, it is so hilarious especially when you really don't belong there. At least I don't have purple hair anymore, that always threw a monkey wrench in the crashing process. Oh well, I'm sick of blogging, czech you skillets later.

First week of school

Sunday, January 19, 2003

Okay, fine, I'll update. Obviously there's a lot to talk about ... something in the order of 7 blogs worth, but I'm just gonna try and pick the creme de la creme for you all to read about. The first week of school wasn't so bad. In fact, it was downright okay. I taught two lab sections. That was actually pretty fun. The first lab was really easy and everyone got it done in lab. Next week I start having to do help desk hours Tuesday morning, and open lab hours Thursday nights. Its gonna suck, but whatev.

My classes that I'm taking all have really cool professors. One of them just got tenure recently so he no longer cares about grades and evaluations and stuff. In that class we're going to be working with a $2 million dollar Teradyne chip tester. Its the same one they use in industry, but someone donated one to us so we could learn how to use it before we graduate. Then they spend less training us monkeys to work for them. I could maybe see myself doing that. Maybe not. That class is called Mixed Signal Testing. I think I'm going to like it. My other professor that teaches Mobile Platforms is just the coolest man alive. He carries his cell phone in his boot. I don't really think I have to say anything else about him. I really enjoy his lectures. They've been informative and incredibly entertaining thus far. My team in that class are all guys who are working for the department, so we don't have any trouble meeting. I worked up a formal resume, and then we all edited it with input from a lot of people, and then we all went to Kinko's to print it. Don't ever go to Kinko's I hate those bastards. Anyways, its looks incredible. I have to work on a website for us soon. My final class is some software programming class. I'm not really sure. But we have a brand new prof for it. He's never taught at A&M before. The first day, he walks in and hands out hte syllabus ... and he's this little asian guy. And he says "herro i be yo professa thees semesta" and he's got the thickest accent ever. And he continues on this way through the whole syllabus until he finally says "can you aw undastand me? if you no can undastand then would it help if I talked normally?" Right, so the whole accent was completely fake. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. So I immediately liked him. I think its shaping up to be an incredibly busy, but really good semester. We'll have to see if I share those sentiments a couple months down the road. But hopefully I will. I hope everyone else had a great first week. Share with us any stories you might have.

Spring 2003

Sunday, January 12, 2003

Well kids, tomorrow school starts. The end of my free time is upon us. You know what that means ... no more daily updation of SideshoViD.com. Of course, when's the last time it was truly daily anyway? I will do my best to keep you all informed on the goings on of our favorite internet celeb. I'll be sure to let you know how teaching my first lab session goes tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous, but I'm sure it'll be no big thang. I'm still kind of iffy on my schedule. I would like to have a concrete schedule for each day but as of now I've just been kind of doing what needs to be done. Hopefully it'll be more structured when school starts.

But you know how I am when school's afoot. If you need to talk to me I live at Thompson. Just come there and ask someone for me. Ha. Its funny and true ... and sad. Okay, I gotta get ready for bed now, cause I wanna be studious for at least the first day. Peace out, you have nots. Leave a comment talking about your first day!

Workin 9 to 5

Thursday, January 9, 2003

I'm officially a workin' man. I've been going to work from 9-5 the past two days. What a way to make a livin'. Its actually been kind of fun. Its all stuff I'm used to doing except this time I'm getting paid to do it. We'll see how 'fun' my responsibilities are when school starts and I start having my own shit to take care of. You might have noticed the little design change here. I decided its time for a little bit of anonymity. Because I use my website to store files for class, and had two classes each with teams, it ends up that my url is in the history of every computer in Thompson. That makes it likely someone will stumble upon it. Since I don't talk about the most academic topics every day, at least this way it won't be blaringly obvious that its my page.

Speaking of academic, last night I stopped off at Ryan and Todd's to see Todd cause he just got home. They were going to Northgate and I decided to go along. It was also Steve-o's 21st birthday, Happy Birthday, Steve-o!, so I hung out with him too. We started out at the Library but ended up at Mad Hatters. I really didn't drink much cause I knew I had to get up early this morning for work. Steve-o on the other hand ... well, lets just say he did it right. I don't think there was a single person on Northgate who didn't hear him say, 'It'sss mah birtthhh... day..." Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to work again and then its just a matter of time until school starts, at which time I will disappear from the face of the earth. I shall miss you all though. End of Line.

Songs of the Day

Monday, January 6, 2003

Howdy all, how does the day find you. Not a lot has been happening to me. I was really concerned that I was going to be completely bored the whole time that I was in College Station before school started because I have literally nothing to do. Sometimes it seems like the only things I do are eat, sleep, and poop. On the contrary though, I have been having a blast. I wake up when I want. I eat when I want. I poop when I want, and it doesn't really have any adverse effects. What a life, I tell ya.

Last night me and Ryan went to the Dry Bean Saloon and then back to his place. We tried to call people to come party with us but ultimately it was just me and him for the majority of the night. We watched Dave Chapelle's stand up routine. OMG, it was the funniest thing I've ever seen and it was not because I was drunk. I was laughing convulsively throughout the whole thing. It was way better than Chris Rock. Good times, good times.

Next, the new word of the day, dysphemism ... I couldn't fit all I wanted to into that little post-it note. So here's some additional information for you.
dysphemism (DIS-fuh-miz-em) noun - The substitution of a harsher, deprecating or offensive term in place of a relatively neutral term; antonym: euphemism

Finally, I would like to give a shout out to Kevin's little sister, Laura over there in San Antone. She told me to download the Song of the Day today. So far she is the third person to have her song posted as the song of the day. If you have a song that you like, and think I would like, and would like to share with the Sidesho-World, don't hesitate to send it to me or tell me to download it and chances are I'll post it. Just make sure its not Staind or Creed or, god forbid, Puddle of Mudd. God those bands suck. Aight, I'm out.

Crazy McDonalds Drive Thru Experience

Friday, January 3, 2003

I'm sure more important things have happened to me in the past two days, but there is only one thing that I want to talk about and I am absolutely dying to tell you all this story. It starts off with Allison getting home for her hour long break from work. She said she wanted ice-cream but didn't have a lot of time, so we went right over to 32 Degrees on Southwest. The lady working there was so nice, she really made our selection process a joy. I got a raspberry cheesecake shake. Yeah, it wasn't very good, but thats my fault ... the ice cream by itself was incredible. Anywho, we decide to sit outside on the bench since it was a nice day ... the bench facing McDonalds.

Ok this is where the story really gets good. We see this fat old woman dressed from head to toe in all white walking away from the shopping strip into the parking lot. Her cart is just filled with bags and shit and we both kinda laughed at just the sight of her ... because we're evil. Anyway, then she almost gets hit by a car and we laugh again ... again, because we're evil. Then she stops in the middle of the parking lot and we are like 'Where is she going?' cause she's nowhere near a car. And she rearranges the contents of her cart so that these two plants wrapped in shiny shit are up on top. I'm thinking she's gonna walk herself all the way home with that cart ... but I was wrong.

She makes a turn and pulls into the McDonalds drive-thru HAHAHAHAHAHA. By this time we're laughing uncontrollably. Allison even busted out crazy laugh and she almost never does that. The crazy old lady was behind like two cars just calmly waiting her turn at the window ... it was so damn funny. I'm laughing right now just thinking about it. Then she finally gets up to the window and I guess she just asked them a question cause she didn't order anything, and she pulled onto the sidewalk and walked out of our lives but not before brightening both of our days. So to you, crazy lady, I say thank you.

Anyway, it was one of those situations where I was like 'Damn, I wish I had a digital camera right now so I could share this on the blog.' But since I do not have a digital camera, friends, I went to the trouble of recreating the scene in photoshop. This is a pretty accurate representation but NOWHERE near as funny as the real deal.

New Years Day 2003

Wednesday, January 1, 2003

Happy New Year! Welcome to the year 2003, WHOOP! Today is an absolutely gorgeous day outside so I thought I'd waste it by playing Grand Theft Auto all day. I'm getting pretty far in the game, and its so damn addictive. So you wanna know what happened last night? Well I'll tell you. First I went and actually bought alcohol. That almost never happens, and wouldn't you know it, we barely touched it. I had a beer before we left and I think Ryan had a beer and that was it. So I'm set for a while. First I went to Northgate with Brandon, Allison, and Ryan. We started at 315. We saw the guy make some flaming Dr Peppers. It was incredible. He had the shot resting on top of the rim of the beer glasses, and then he took a lighter and a mouthful of 151 and sprayed this massive fireball and lit all three shots and then knocked them into the glasses. It was tres cool. Then we tried MadHatters but it basically sucked.

So we decided around 11:00 to try Hurricane Harry's. I have not been there since my freshman year, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. They were playing good music, not kicker shit. They had free champagne and a free buffet, so we partook in both of those. At midnight they played the Fight Song, which was pretty cool. We ended up leaving without Allison who found her own ride home. I'm sorry, but you'll have to hear that story from her, its not really mine to share. *WINK*

In other news, I talked to my professor about that unexplained C that I got in his class and he said it was a straight up mistake, it was supposed to be an A, so that's taken care of. Then I asked him if he needed a webpage guy next semester and he said he would rather I was a TA. Its kind of flattering for him to tell me he wants me to work for him, so naturally I did not decline. I have an appointment with him tomorrow to talk it over and see which class I want to TA for. I just need to make sure my chemistry class doesn't conflict with either of them. Hopefully it won't. Anywho, Happy New Year again. Your homework assignment today is to post your New Years Resolutions on the comment board. Mine is the same as it is every year: to be more open and honest with my opinion. Haaaa. I know its not the most noetic resolution, but its worked for me thus far. End of Line.

Nites out

Monday, December 30, 2002

Aaaaaaaand scene! Well that puts a close to my first night out in College Station since I've been back. We organized a little group to go out to the ol' Northgate. I was accompanied by Allison, Ryan, Cappy, Brandon and Elizabeth. Turns out like half of Northgate was closed down for the holidays so our options were a tad limited, so we limited ourselves to just Dry Bean (of course), Hole in the Wall, and Fitzwilly's. It was a good time had by all. I ended up getting vury drunk as usual. But not as drunk as Ryan. Ha.

We were really excited because Shadow Canyon was advertising a New Years Eve costume party where the first prize was $1000. We were gonna brainstorm and come up with really great costumes and try to win it cause that's a helluva lot of money. But when I went to go pick up my car this morning I saw that the sign said New Years Party Cancelled. Those bastards. Oh well, now we're going to have to find something new to do and I do hate having to think, as you well know. Hmm. I'm hungry. And I need to go talk to one of my profs, and I should probably go to Best Buy and try to spend some of these gift certificates I just got. Okay, that settles it, I'm outta here. Peace out.

Merry Christmas

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

Well I just wanted to take a moment to wish all of you and yours a happy Solstace and a very drunken New Year. I've been in Plano for a couple days now. We went to church this afternoon, and tomorrow we're going to open presents. My parents let me open one tonight and it was Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Whoo hoo. I've been playing it all night. I probably won't be updating much until I get back to College Station on Friday. I've got a whole new layout just screaming to be finished and released. I'll see you all then. Laaaaaaate.

Tron Party

Saturday, December 21, 2002

Yesterday, I decided to cook a turkey. It was one of those spur of the moment decisions. I had a turkey in my fridge that was gonna go bad if I didn't cook it in the next couple of days, and since I'm going home to Plano tomorrow, last night was about my last chance to cook it. Not that there's anything to it. I just tossed it in an over bag, threw it in at 350 degrees and came back about 3 hours later to eat it. I knew I wasn't going to be able to eat it alone so I took it over to Sean's house cause he was throwing a Tron party for our 349 team. We were celebrating the semester being over. We ended up eating turkey, stuffing, green beans and peas. And polishing off about 4 bottles of champagne. It was a good time.

In other news, I got my new phone today. Currently it has no phone numbers on it. It had some left on the SIM card from my old phone, but rather than going thru and finding out which ones I needed to add, I just deleted them all. I can enter them into my phone via the internet like 20 at a time as opposed to typing each one in, so I'm not worried about it taking too long. Earlier today I copied them all to an excel file. I thought I was gonna hate this phone but its really not too bad. It could use a new face plate or something, but nothing too urgent. Plus, its hella louder than my old phone that I could never hear on.

Anyway, for my last bit of news, I just thought you all might like to know that some very exciting things are happening at SideshoViD.com. You know me, as soon as I get a little time on my hands, I start getting antsy. I think you're all gonna really like what I'm cooking up now. No tellin' when it'll be up. Either by tomorrow or it'll have to be after Christmas. See you all then!

Infinite Toothpaste

Thursday, December 19, 2002

Hey, thanks to my friends and teammates for the abundance of comments. I'm not used to such a rousing response to a blog, but then, most of my blogs really suck. Today I took a final. I completely waxed it. I have this feeling that I got a 105 on it since there was a bonus, but you all know how modest I am, so I'm just gonna count on a 100. Then we worked on our fucking digital thermometer for like 12 hours. UGH! PS, thank you to EVERYONE who called me from Northgate to ask where I was and inform me that the semester was supposed to be over. Preciate that guys (and girls). We did sneak across for one beer just before last call, so that was the highlight of my fuckin night.

Anyway, I have another question to pose to you, loyal Sidesho-Viewers. Really, its more of an observation that might incite some thought. I think it is impossible to empty a tube of toothpaste. Its something I've always joked about, but this time around I decided to tempt fate and actually forgo buying a new tube of toothpaste despite the fact that mine was clearly 'empty.' Since I determined that my toothpaste was 'gone' 3 weeks have passed. And yes, I have been brushing my teeth twice a day on this tube of toothpaste. I think the relationship of toothpaste to time is asymptotic. I believe that it will never reach zero because there's always that last little bit you can squeeze out of the bottom. I'm not sure how to explain this phenomena ... perhaps a rift in the spacetime continuum?

I thought maybe you could share your thoughts. If you agree, or just mildly agree, or have experienced the same thing in your life. Also, any theories as to why this is so indisputably true. Thanks for your comments in advance. Laaaaaaaaate.

Finally, an update

Thursday, December 12, 2002

Where to begin, where to begin. So much has happened since I last posted, this may end up being a long blog. So go get something warm to drink, perhaps a blanket to wrap up in whilst you read, and lets begin. First off, why haven't I posted? Well, the end of the semester was a really busy time for me. I had exams, presentations, and projects to work on. I still have one exam to take and two projects to work on, but the deadlines are further away for those.

The first project was our closed loop controlled dc motor supply. Me and my group, the Users, had been working on it all semester. We had to finish it up and debug it and do all kinds of crap. I was in charge of the documentation for the project. Basically you have to document every little thing you do all semester long. The final product was 100 pages, front and back. My obsessive compulsive anal retentive nature came out while working on this document. Everything about it had to be absolutely perfect. In the end, it was. Its the most gorgeous comprehensive thing I've ever made. My professor was very impressed and even said he couldn't wait to read it. And I don't doubt that he meant it with all sincerity. We also had to put together a powerpoint presentation to show to the prof. We did our presentation pretty quick the night before it was due. We had plenty of time though since the last day, we started working on it at 10:00am and didn't finish until 9:00am the next day. I was bound and determined to have the thing finished before I went to sleep. And I did. Our presentation went well even though we got absolutely grilled on the Q&A. Our prof wanted to give us questions that were a cut above the normal question, and they were hard. I think I answered one completely right, and the other one I had to say "I don't know." I wasn't too happy about admitting defeat, but I had no choice.

After the presentation we all went over to the Chicken to relax, drink beer, and play pool. Our professor even joined us, and helped us close the bar down. I paid the pool guy 10 bucks to take the door off of the pool table, so we got unlimited pool the whole night. Because I did that, I didn't have to buy any beer the whole night cause everyone felt indebted to me. That was pretty cool. I got pretty stupid that night but I had a great time just hanging out with everyone from my major. We spend so much time together up in lab, it was nice to kick back with them and just talk about things not related to a 68332 microcontroller. Turns out, my classmates are fun people. Ryan and Todd showed up to Northgate and I was supposed to go home with them, but they ended up ditching my ass when I went inside MadHatters to find Allison. That was cool ... NOT. But whatever, me and Allison ended up getting a ride home from two guys she had met 2 seconds before I showed up. I was under the impression that she knew them, but it turned out that she didn't. Their names were Buck and Kix ... wtf? Why she was talking to a couple of guys named Buck and Kix, I'll never know, but we got home safe and thats all that matters.

Another thing I had to be doing this past weekend, in between my 14 hour stints at the keyboard working on documentation was attend concerts for symphony extra credit. I was concerned that I wouldn't be passing the class. Turns out I was right. Its a good thing I did that extra credit cause it bumped my grade up to a D. A D will really fuck my GPA this semester (which would have been a 4.0 otherwise) but at least I get credit for the class and my fine arts are out of the way. An interesting turn of events though. Our prof in symphony informed us that being a 300 level course, there were prerequisites to get into the course, which only a handful of people knew about. They messed up in the catalogue and allowed us all to sign up for an upperlevel music major course. So depending on the grades, he may curve the whole class, which could potentially bump me up to a C. That would be nice. I'm not counting on it though.

Another project I'm working on is a digital thermometer. We designed the circuit, built it, and tested it and it worked. But for any extra credit points, we have to have it etched onto a pc board. So we frantically designed a pc board, something none of us had ever done before. It was hard, but we got it done and verified by the prof before sending it off to be fab'ed. Turns out it's gonna take way more than the estimated 3 days leaving us with 24 hours to test and debug our system. Sucks. So I don't know what were going to do. Soldering the parts on alone would take that long. We'll see what happens, it may not be possible. I have an A locked down, so I couldn't care less, but my teammates could use the points. We bargained on so many added features (7-segment displays, dual celsius and fahrenheit capabilities, mounting it in a remote control car, and wireless capabilities) that we could earn as many as 10 points to our final final grade. That's so out of control.

Finally having time to relax is weird. At first I was having trouble sleeping. I would wake up every couple of hours and jump out of bed constantly thinking I was either late for something, or wasting time not working on anything. I'm better now though. I slip back into my slothfully prefered mode quite easily. All in all this was a pretty good semester, though I'm not sorry to see it go. Making the highest grade on every test in every class was pretty funny.

I've run out of things to talk about even though I'm sure I've forgotten some things. If I remember I'll post again. Anyways, I'm back now, so fear not. Updates will commence. Peace out, you HAVE NOTS!

Happy Thanksgiving

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

Welcome, loyal Sidesho-Viewers ... and a happy Turkey Day to all of you. I hope you're all enjoying your Thanksgiving break, and I do hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving meal tomorrow. I am back in Plano right now chillin at the ol' casa de la Rentas. Today I woke up and went into lab for a while. I talked to my professor about the grade I made on the last test. If you want to know what it was, IM me and I'll tell you, since I don't want anyone in my class reading this and knowing what I made. We worked on our pcboard for the thermometer for a while. And then I ate and packed and got in the car with Allison to make the trek back to Plano. We actually made pretty good time thanks to a daring (albeit illegal) off-road maneuver by Allison to avert about an hours worth of traffic thru Corsicana. It was good stuff.

I went out to eat with my parents at Mac's Grill, which we all assumed was like a burger joint. But in reality it was this fancy-schmancy restaurant where I ordered one of the best filet mignon's I've ever had. Then I went to the mall with Colleen for a little bit, and then to Starbucks. Then I rushed home because my sister was supposed to be reporting live on the Dallas NBC news about a plane crash in Oklahoma, but they never cut to her, so I'm not sure what the deal is with that.

In other news, THE COMMENTS ARE FIXED ... SO LEAVE ONE. Thanks, and again, happy holidays.

Webpage problems

Monday, November 25, 2002

Well, I finally figured out why no one was leaving comments. Not that any of you probably noticed, but the "Leave a comment" and "read the comments" links are not working. I screwed something up when I was messing around with Greymatter. I'm sure its a quick fix, but I've not had the time to date necessary to investigate and fix it. So for now, you're all off the hook on leaving comments.

Not a lots been goin on. I've been in lab a lot working on projects. I finally started on the final documentation on one project by making myself a template in word. I didn't actually write anything though. Maybe I'll do some of that tomorrow. I also need to map out and order some PCboards to mount our thermometer on. And I have a test in O■■■'s 349 class on Tuesday. I'm pretty damn prepared for it, but I like to make 100's on his tests, so I'm going to study balls tomorrow. Then Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I'm going home to Plano, so if anyone else is too, let me know, we'll meet up.

Sorry to cut this short, but my bed is calling to me. In a Spanish accent no less ... that's weird. I'm sleep deprived. Laaaaaate.

Druuuuunken update

Friday, November 22, 2002

Omega, I don't usually update when I'm drunk but there are TOO many stories from tonight for this to wait until tomorrow (or according to the date on this blog, I guess that would be today). Okay lets start from the beginning. The day begins at 2:25pm, which is when I woke up. This is significant because I had a test at 2:20 today. The deal was that I was up on campus until 4am the night before studying with friends and then I came home and set my alarm but forgot to TURN THE FUCKER ON. Deerrrrrrrr. I freeeeked out and ran to all of my neighbors looking for a ride. I ended up offering a perfect stranger 'anything she wanted' to take me to campus but as she was getting her keys Allison called me and she took me to my class. THANK YOU ALLISON I LOVE YOU. It totally saved my ass. Ahhh, Abba just came on my MP3's, they rule. Anyway, I took the test and trust me, I didn't set any curves. But I did alright.

So I got home, finally showered and got ready to go to this review session. So I went to that and then right to this Diversity Symposium on campus. It was SO cool. There was a panel of one A&M guy, one lady from HEB, some other lady and then Danny from the Real World New Orleans. They just talked about stuff in general, most of it concerning diversity both as a notion and as a specific reference on campus. It was really really refreshing to just listen to people talk who share the same opinions as me. As you might have guessed this doesn't happen very often on this campus. Long story short, I really enjoed just being in the audience listening.

Then it was time for some fucking beer. But first I had to eat, since I hadn't had a chance to do that before. So I called Joseph and we went over to Fitzwilly's for some Fitz Favorites. We bullshitted for a while and made plans for tomorrow. Its his 21st birthday. That'll be really fun. Then I went over to Ryan's and chilled until we were ready to hit Northgate. We started out at the Library, but it was fucking dead. No one was there, so we went to Mad Hatters. There we ran into Humpty and Paco, guys I went to high school with and lived in Moore with but NEVER see anymore. Humpty said he still reads my blog so I wanted to give him a big ol' Shout Out. Leave a comment fucker. Anyway, from there we went to Duddley's, and then home.

I just got home and my neighbor Colette gave me a beer. Then the other next door neighbor's boyfriend Kevin came over and brought me beer after beer while we shot the shit on the porch. Now it is way past time for me to go to bed. I hope you all had as good a time tonight as I did. I love you all ... especially YOU. Laaaaaaaaaate

Circuit Test

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

Oy veh, I am so sick of school. But now is not really the time to be feeling that way. I've got a big circuit test tomorrow that I am 100% unprepared for. I would really like to set the curve again just to be annoying, but I'm sorry kids, thats not gonna happen this time. Granted, I don't know many people who feel confident in their ability to identify op-amps and work with h-parameters on small signal analysis of bipolar junction transistors ... but still, I'm so far behind its not even funny. I studied for 7 hours last night with a big group of people and then a few hours earlier today. Except I get so disgusted that I just can't go on. So I took a break, got some dinner with Keith at The Max, and now I'm getting ready to head back up to campus to meet a big group of people. Its disgusting how much I study these days.

I made a really cool website for my team in one class. I wish I could show it to you all, but its completely passworded so that random people from our class can't go in there and steal stuff from us. If you're really curious, and have nothing to do with Engineering Technologies, then you can IM me and I'll give you a user name and password to look at it. Otherwise, no way Jose. (Jose just being a general term for all of you Sidesho-Viewers, not an actual person.)

Anyway, on Friday, its my good bud Joseph's big 21st birthday. Because of this, I think I'll refrain from going out on Thursday so I'll be good and thirsty to celebrate with the birthday boy. When that day rolls around, I'll put up a link for you all to IM him.

I fell asleep in my Symphony Class today and the prof yelled at me. But he kept calling me Mr. Quea or something like that ... it totally wasn't my name. He kept going 'GOOD MORNING MR. QUEA' and I was like 'yes, okay, I was asleep I'm sorry move on' and he'd be like 'yes, sir, GOOD MORNING.' Sheeeesh. If you get offended when people sleep in your class don't teach a really boring subject that I don't give a fuck about ... that plays classical music to lull me to sleep. Whatever, I'm not worried about it. I don't go to that class often enough for him to remember who I am.

Anyway, its about that time to go back to campus and hit the books again when all I really wanna do is hit the sheets. Such is life. Laaaaaaaaaate.

Enlarged Uvula

Monday, November 18, 2002

It's time for Monday again ... my favorite day of the week. It signals an entire school week ahead during which I'll be able to further my knowledge (and love) of digital and analog circuitry. This week is an especially exciting one since I'll be able to take a test on Thursday over a bunch of stuff that I really don't understand. Anyway, I don't really like talking about school. You know what I really like talking about.

Last night Colette and Brianne (the girls next door) both dunked their rings. It was really fun to watch. Brianne came in around 150 seconds and Colette followed shortly thereafter. And then, of course, there was a whole keg of beer left that had to be drank. I did my best to drink as much of it as I possibly could. It was a really good time. Todd, Ryan, and Sam showed up later, but I don't really remember even talking to them much. Allison swung by for a while. Matt and Keith both came as well as John and Courtney. Basically it was a good night of just sitting around doing what we do best.

I do have one misgiving about the whole weekend though. This morning (Sunday) I woke up with an enlarged uvula. For those of you who are not aware, thats the thing that hangs in the back of your throat. The only time this has ever happened to me was when I had my second knee surgery and my uvula got stretched out by the tube being shoved down my throat. Allison found something on the internet that said it could be caused by stress or an infection or something so we'll have to see what that's all about. It is SO annoying because its just resting right on my gag reflex. Yes its that long right now. I'm hoping beyond hope that I'll wake up and it'll be back to normal. Anyway, thats totally gross. I'm going to try to take a picture of it. Check you sluts later.

UPDATE: I just woke up this morning, and while my uvula isn't back to its original size, I think it is definitely smaller than it was last night.

Hump Day

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

I just thought I would take a moment to fill you all in on the goings on as of late. Yesterday was a pretty good day. I had two people tell me they saw me on the JumboTron at the game. One was this kid Ryan that I shoot with in Archery, and the other was my dear Nancy. That made me happy since NONE of the people I hang out with regularly bothered to see me. Oh well, no hard feelings. In Archery I shot pretty well, got the second highest score I've ever gotten. I also scratched the shit out of hand. It doesn't hurt but it doesn't look very attractive either.

Nothing too exciting has been going on. We got the analog portion of our digital thermometer designed, tested, protyped, and built. It works, folks! My professor held an Aim 'n' Flame up to it today to see if it could react to the high temperatures and it performed exactly as we'd hoped. We have some minor tweaks to do, but basically all thats left to do for this portion of the circuit is to lay it out and order a pc board that we can solder it to. Then we have to get started on programming the digital logic side of it so that it actually outputs a number you can read to a couple of 7-segment displays. Wheee. I love circuits.

I hate my life.

Beat the HELL outta OU

Sunday, November 10, 2002

Oh man, did we ever beat the ever livin', ever lovin' HELL outta OU yesterday?! WHOOP! That was one of the greatest Aggie football games that has even been played within the hallowed walls of Kyle Field. In my book it was the #2 greatest game ever, second only to t.u. in '99. Reggie McNeal is a god. He ran through the OU defense like it was tissue paper ... and when he couldn't, he would just make 40 yard touchdown passes. It was so damn exciting. And we won 30-26 for those of you who don't follow Aggie football very close.

Another exciting aspect of the game was when me and Allison went down on the field at halftime for Boot Line. We got right up front on the gate. It was really fun, I was about 2 feet away from Cardo, the yell leader. Then after that me and Allison were TOTALLY on the jumbotron for like a good 30 seconds. So far Lindsay is the only one who saw us. If you happened to see me or Allison on the jumbotron at halftime, please leave a comment. I know for a fact we were on there. That has been one of my goals at this university for a long time. Now, if only I could get on the cover of the Battalion ...

So everyone in this whole damn town was in the best mood ever last night after our stunning upset on the #1 ranked team in the conference. So naturally it was time to party. Me, Todd, Ryan, David, and two of David's friends from Southwest went to Concepts ... the place that used to be Tonix ... the place that used to be Charlie's ... the place that used to be Epi-Center. It was pretty cool except that there was a $5 cover for over 21 and a $10 cover for under 21. It wasn't $5 cover great. But since we were already there we paid and went in. I got completely faded and danced my ass off. It was a good time had by all. Then we woke up today and ate at Chicken Express. It was yummy.

So in summary, this has been like the best Aggie week of my life. Now next week's REALLY gonna suck. I'll see you all there (on the flip side I mean). Peace out.

Happy Drunken Halloween

Friday, November 1, 2002

God I love Halloween. That is, like, my favorite holiday all year long. The day started off pretty sucky, but it got so much better once I mixed in some drinks. I went to class around 9 and did that whole thing. Then I had to talk to my prof about the presentation I'm going to have to give to a class next week. He said we're going to shoot for Wednesday. I really don't want to do this, but its going to change my D to a B, so its definitely worth it.

After that I had to walk to archery. We had our form test, which means we didn't even shoot. Each person took turns having the prof watch us. You had to shoot two arrows at a target that was like 5 feet away, cause he didn't care if you could aim, just your form. I got 14/15 points. He said my form was really good, but I didn't pull the bow back the same distance both times, which I'm sure is true cause I'm not very good.

Then I went to my circuit design class. That was business as usual. That gets out at 3:30 and I decided to get ahead of the game and figure out my schedule for next semester. Turns out my department has a new lady whose only job is to be an advisor. We have a real live advisor now! Like someone who actually knows what she's talking about and gives a shit. Its nice. We used to just talk to professors who had way more important things to do. Anyway, I got my sched for next semester kinda figured out. I might take chemistry at Blinn, but I don't know how to do that, so we'll see.

After that I went to the computer lab to work on my presentation a little bit, but that didn't end up happening. Instead me and my lab partner, Owen, ended up on Yahoo! games playing pool against each other. I lost twice and won once. It was really fun. Then at 5 it was up to the lab to work on our multi-channel pulse width modulator. Fun stuff, it never ended up working. Then I left to go to my car and realized I never went home so I didn't have a car. That's always a fun feeling. So I started making calls.

Keith was in Fort Worth. I swear I need to start listening to him sometimes. Then I called Allison and she was too drunk to drive ... at 9 oclock. Halloween rules. So I called Brandon and he gave me a ride home. Then he came in while I made myself some leftovers and he ended up falling asleep on my couch, and he slept there all night. Didn't bother me. So I got ready to go out and did just that. I had my neighbor Brianne paint my face with eyeshadow so I looked like really sickly. I tried to snap a pic of it, but most of it rubbed off last night. So I went and picked up Ryan and we hit Northgate.

We started out at 315, the place that used to be the Reef. Then we ran into Allison and we went to the Library. That was pretty hopping. We spent the rest of the night there. Halloween on Northgate is too much fun. Everyone's in costumes and just getting CRA-ZAY. God I can't wait for next year. So then we went to Stev-o's house. It was fun. There were drinks and I think there was some oregano going on in the back room, but I'm too innocent to know. Well I ended up passing out on the couch in blissful slumber. I was rudely awakened a while later cause I guess Stev-o's roommate came home and it was his weed everyone was smoking or something, I don't know. I was just told we had to leave 'now!' So then Justin gave me and Ryan a ride home. Thanks for that, that was cool.

Today, I might go to class, but probably not. I hate my Symphony class, its so stupid. I do need to take a quiz I missed on Monday cause I was sick tho. Ehhh, I dunno. Then I need to go to the parking garage and get my car. Its so cool that you can just leave it there overnight. Very good call on the part of College Station. They usually just do stupid shit, but this makes sense. Then I don't know what else is on the slate.

One more quick note, sorry this blog is too long. There are some very exciting things happening at SideshoViD.com. This time ... he's not alone...

Stomach Flu

Sunday, October 27, 2002

I'd have to say that everything about yesterday sucked. There was nothing good about it. Not one thing. I woke up around 9:00. I don't want to go into too much detail or get too graphic, but lets just say that my body was trying to expel fluids as rapidly as possible. There are 3 ways for your body to do this, and mine was doing all 3 at once. This continued all damn day. For the first 9 hours or so I couldn't so much as take a sip of water without violently dry heaving it back up. At one point I passed out in the bathroom cause I was so hungry and dehydrated and throwing up took a whole lot out of me. I was in bed for a total of 27 hours. I just woke up and I think I'm feeling better. You should see these darkass circles around my eyes, its kind of scary. But really I haven't eaten anything in about 40 hours. I might give that a try soon. Hopefully it will stay down.

Thats why I didn't update in a timely fashion. I was busy with other more important things. But I do have stories from Friday night. I went to a party at Arash's place with Ryan and Brandon. It was like a Halloween party. It was really fun. But thats not the story I'm telling. A few of us were out on the porch and I hear this truck completely revving the engine, so I look and I think to myself, "Damn, that truck is going REALLY fast." I'm not a good judge of this, but I'd say it was doing at least 40mph thru the parking lot. Next thing you know, this truck has jumped a curb and run into a parked car full speed. It not only destroys one car, but nails it into a second car which also gets fucked up. It was so crazy. Doesn't end there though. This truck throws it into reverse and PEELS out of there and they are gone. It was a frickin DWI hit and run. I'm not sure if anyone got the license number, but I hope so. Those guys are bastards. It really broke up the party too, which sucked. Since the cops were obviously going to be there soon and there was all sorts of underage drinking going on, everyone just kinda meandered home. I took Brandon home cause he was going to Austin for an early appointment, and then I went back to the party for a while. Believe it or not, I didn't drink the whole night, so those of you who would blame my stomach flu on a hangover are dead wrong. I wish I had drank though, maybe it would have killed whatever disease was floating around in my body. Thats the update for tonight. I will talk to you have nots later.

Lose Yourself

Monday, October 21, 2002

I took my symphony class this morning. It was so stupid. It was like "True or False, Beethoven composed his last 8 concertos entitled the Brandenberg Concertos while living in London." And my reaction was "derrrrrrrrrrrr." Like I really care about that crap. Knowing where Beethoven lived doesn't enhance my understanding or pleasure in the music. But alas, it was a multiple choice test. I haven't taken since like the 3rd grade, so maybe I'll still do alright. And even if I don't, there's so much freaking extra credit in that class that I'm sure I could still make above a 100.

Here's a fun sidesho-tidbit. I get this IM last night from some girl named Faith who says "Hey this is going to sound really stupid." And she procedes to explain to me that she got my screen name off of her friend's buddy list last November and has been visiting my website ever since. She doesn't live in College Station but was in town visiting a friend and they went out to Northgate. She told me that on her visit to CS, she had to rare honor of seeing yours truly out at that sushi bar on Northgate. She was understandably excited about the whole situation. I hated to explain to her that I was in Dallas on Friday night and I don't eat sushi. So then she felt even stupider about the whole situation. Yay, I have a stalker!

Then it set me thinking. What if someone else sees this apparent stunt-double that I have out somewhere. How will they differentiate me from him? More importantly ... how on earth is there someone as good looking as me walking the streets of College Station. Anyway, if any of you stalkers out there that I don't know think you see me somewhere in town, here's what I've decided you should do. Come within ear shot of me or my stunt double and say "Sidesho." Its sad, but I will respond ... and no other sane person will. So there you go. I hope to hear some of you hollarin at me soon, you freaking psychos.

Nothing else is really new. My life is a major bore. I missed out on my usual heavy drinking this weekend so I can just tell that this week is going to drag on forever! Just remember, Jesus loves you ... and so does the Easter Bunny.

Back home

Sunday, October 20, 2002

Good to be back, folks. I had an uneventful, typical Plano weekend. First I got home and ate a leftover calzone from the fridge while I chilled with the parentals. Then they went to bed, and I watched TV until I fell asleep. The next day I went to see my friend Jenny C■■■. She just had knee surgery, and as you all know, I am especially sensitive to that fact, so I hung out with her all day. She was the reason that I went home in the first place, although other reasons (like getting my winter coat) came up too. We went to Wal-Mart to buy her a new CD player and then to the movies. We saw Tuck Everlasting. Keep in mind, dear readers, that Tuck Everlasting was not my first choice. However, you would have to know Jenny C■■■ in order to realize how impossible it was for us to find a movie the both of us wanted to see. It was a strange flick, but overall I wasn't disappointed that I spent money to see it. I won't be rushing the theater to see it again any time soon though.

After that, we both went out to dinner with my parents. We went to BD's Mongolian BBQ. It was a strange place. You went thru this line and picked out raw meat and vegetables, and then poured oil and sauce on these raw ingredients, and then waited in line for them to cook it. And when they were done they handed it back to you. It was all you could eat for $12.99. All in all it was pretty good once we figured out what the hell was going on. I stuffed myself on way too much food in order to screw the restaurants out of any profit they might have tried to make. After that I took Jenny home and she taught me how to play gin, and I was really good at it. I was glad to go entertain her since she came to see my crippled ass a lot two summers ago when I went under the knife. At least she only had one knee done so she can get around pretty well with crutches. Then today I went to church, gag me, and then to the mall with my parents. We ate at Chili's, bought a VCR, realized there was no Structure for me to buy pants at, and then went home. Then I drove back to College Station and I just walked in the door. Oh how I love my loyal viewers. Hope you all had a good weekend that was as relaxing as mine.

As for me, I have a symphony test tomorrow as well as a lab due, so I must depart and get started on all the shit that I've got left to do. Catch you have nots on the flip side. Peace.

Long, long Thursday

Thursday, October 17, 2002

Oh my gawrsh, today was so long, and its not near over. I started out with a test at 9:30. It was rough, dude. It took the whole class period and I think only one person left before he told us to go ahead and turn in what we'd finished. I think I did alright. Not great, but alright. Probably get a B, maybe better if he curves, which he won't. After that, me and Sean decided it was time to go to Fitzwilly's for a burger and a beer. That was nice after that damned test. Then I went to archery. We got to bring in a picture of something to shoot arrows at, to help us concentrate on the bullseye. I brought a picture of a bottle of vodka out of a magazine. Those of you who were there last Thursday or heard about it could probably surmise why I chose that. Then I went to my circuit design class where we talked about this digital thermo-meter we're supposed to be designing. Turns out I have no fucking clue what is going on. I'm so lost and that is so depressing.

Right now I'm going to try and take a nap for like an hour, so I can get up and go to open lab hours. We got our lab working ... all this thing does is read in a character from the keyboard and spit it back out to the monitor. Kind of like what your computer does anyway, but we actually wrote a program that will take care of that function. Kinda neat, kinda unnecessary. Anywho, we have to demo it to the TA and then start on the documentation. Typically a one page program will yield somewhere around 20-30 pages of documentation. Its ridiculous. I'm so tired though, I have GOT to get to sleep if I'm ever going to make it out to Northgate tonight. So I will see you all later. I'm also going home to Plano this weekend, so if you want to hang out with me, it'll have to be either tonight or a week from tonight. Okay? OKAY? Peace out, you have nots.

Business as Usual

Monday, October 14, 2002

Another weekend has drawn to a close. This was a particularly fun one, and if you're lucky I might tell you why. Okay, you're lucky. Lets see, last night me and Allison spent the better part of the night together. We took it slow though, no sense in chugging beers when you've got all night to drink. *WINK* Yeah so we were drinking like champs, what can I say? After got a little toasted we made some calls and my friend Stev-o came over to do a little drinking of his own. Then my neighbor Brianne came over to party with us and Keith came home. Before you knew it we had a little party goin'. Drinkin' some beers, telling some stories. Good times had by all. Then Matt came home with one of his friends, and it was just an all around good time.

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed. Okay, there's two lies in that sentence. I didn't wake up this morning, it was more like 2:30 in the afternoon, and I was surprisingly un-refreshed. Alas, it was worth it. I showered and got ready and went to the Brazos Valley Symphony Orchestra concert. I was a little bit disappointed. I knew what to expect, so I wasn't surprised, but my god could Baroque music BE anymore repeatative. I don't think so. Me and Keith both fell asleep in alternative intervals. Now I have to write a paper about it, which I'm not too thrilled to do, but whatever, it won't be hard. I don't have anything else due tomorrow since we got assigned a 2 week lab last week in my 349 lab. So thats a nice load off for a Sunday night. So in other words, no plans for tomorrow, just business as usual.

I hope you all had a good weekend too, and good luck with everything goin on this week. Keep checkin' in to keep up with yours truely. Laaaaaaaaaaate.

Wasted Friday

Friday, October 11, 2002

Well hey there, good to see you again. Since the last post, I took a big test in my Circuit Design class. Everyone thought it was pretty hard, but I came out of there thinking that I had aced it. I realized just a little while ago that I forgot to put a resistor in series with my diodes in the clipper circuit I designed, so the whole thing would instantly burn up ... oops! Other than that I think I got everything right. So in order to celebrate, I decided to go get drunk at Northgate.

Me and AllieD went to Hole in the Wall and had a couple of pitchers. Then we went over to the Library after like 2 hours of just sippin beers and chit chatting. At the library I had a couple Cosmopolitans and she had a couple of Jack and Cokes in martini glasses ... tres chic. We ran into Travis there and shared a table with him and his friend Vicky. It was a good time. At 1:00 they stop serving alcohol which sucks, but I decided I wasn't drunk enough, so we all ended up going back to Travis's place to drink some more. He made some nauseating lemonade and vodka drink and I gladly slurped it up. Then I had another drink. And that, my friends, is where the story has to end, because I don't remember anything else. Oops! It happens though. It seems that whenever I get it in my head to get really drunk, I always succeed. Just chalk it up to the maturity that is SLOWLY slowly, growing. Until next time, folks. Take it easy. And if its easy, take it twice.

Random update

Wednesday, October 9, 2002

Hey everyone, thanks for all the great comments on the new layout. I think its really working out good. There's still some things I need to do. One request that I'm working on is to make the comments link tell you how many comments have been left. That will require some more scanning and as of right now, all of the scanners in the SCC are occupado. Of course, we have a scanner at home, but Keith is "going to hook it up soon" so I'm not allowed to have it. There's something else I want to scan to show all of you. Something incredibly creepy that was brought to my attention last night. If you look at the coupons in the coupon books they hand out on campus, and take a peek at the Fitzwilly's coupon, you might notice something scary. Of course, you would have to also know my friend Jay. Turns out, whoever drew the cowboy guy for the logo was using Jay as their model. It looks exactly like him. I'm gonna scan that in and put it up here soon. Damn, I wish all the scanners weren't taken.

I'm also working on a website for the PRSSA here on campus. They haven't hired me yet, but I'm gonna make them a 'sample' to decide if they want me to redesign their site or not. I'm not sure if they can afford me, but maybe they can. Its the Public Relations Student Society of America. Their current site is at prssa.tamu.edu. You can check it out and see how much it sucks. As soon as I get something working, I'll let you all see how I've revamped. Its quite impressive, methinks.

Anyway, sorry about not updating right away, my internet at home has been down now for like 2 days. Its really starting to upset me, but I really don't know what I can do about it. Hopefully it'll be working when I get home in a little bit. On the sched for this week is studying all night tonight, and then a big test tomorrow, to be followed by lots and lots of drinking. Thats about it. Have a great day, or not. The choice is yours.

Just a skotch…

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

Boy today was a long one, and its about to get longer. I don't have a lot of time to fill you in, but I'll take just a moment to hit the highlights. This mornign I woke up after about 7 hours of sleep. I don't know what the deal is, but if I get 5 hours or 9 hours I feel fine. Seems like anything in between just exhausts me. Anyway, I made it through class rather uneventfully, and then me and Sean decided to skip out on lunch and hit the earlier section of 250 so we could go home early. So with little break, I went right into my next class. After which, I had to truck it to the rec center for my archery class. I didn't want to be late because we got to shoot for the first time today.

I keep telling people I'm going to be a natural at archery. I was semi-correct. I was very consistent in my firing. He said as long as we were hitting the foam, we didn't have to worry about aiming, as long as our arrows landed close to each other. He even said out loud in front of the whole class that my arrows looked great. I was like "Thats me, those are mine" to everyone around me. I actually made some friends in class today, cause I was in a really good mood. If I could have taken my arrows and just moved them down a skotch, they all would have been on target. So I'll spend some time on Thursday perfecting my aim. What I really need to perfect is to keep the string from hitting my arm. Fucking OW! I have these bruises and cuts and shit all over my bow arm right now cause the string kept nailing me. I'm really going to have to practice to get it to stop too. You have to turn your arm just a skotch from what's natural and comfortable in order to avoid it and that'll just take practice to always remember to check that.

After archery I decided to go order my ring. So I hopped on Bonfire, fully knowing that the Clayton Williams building was like just the previous stop from the rec center. But I didn't feel like walking and I had nowhere in particular I needed to be. So I sat on that bus for 20 minutes while it went all the way around the whole route. And when it finally got to my stop I was pushin past people going for the open door. I was like "Excuse me please excuse me sorry" but these bitches wouldn't move. So I get to the door when it closes and the bus takes off. And where did it take me? Yooouuuu guessed it! Right back to the rec center where I'd stood lo those 30 minutes prior. So I was like "Fuck this I'll walk" and I walked to the Former Students building. My ring is officially on they way WHOOP! I'll get it on November 7th. I'm not sure when I'm dunking it. It could very well not be until like April so I can dunk it with some friends. That'll take some of the pressure off. Anyway, enough about me, how are you doing?

Rainy Monday

Monday, September 16, 2002

Hey all. I'm about to run out to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding with Allison and skip out on open lab hours. Me and Owen (my lab partner) got a lot more done today than anyone else, so its time for another break. I had a fairly productive day despite the rain. I went and pulled a couple football tickets for Vergina Tech on Saturday. Me and Allison are just going together. Its too hard to coordinate a big group for us. Then I went and cut the sleeves off my Harley Davidson shirt cause they were bothering me. Then I ran into both Justin and Arash each on opposite sides of the campus (both of whom you'll remember from the towing blog). So that was fun. Then I had my Symphony class where I fell asleep, and then my lab, which I already discussed. Which brings me to the now.

This is off the topic, but me and Keith watched Wayne's World last night while we ate, and I made a comment about how much of that movie is in my regular rotation of phrases. And as we watched it, i kept count of how many lines from the movie I use on a daily, semi-daily (or even hourly) basis. The count got way into the double digits. Lets just put it that way. It made me kind of sad.

On another note, I told you all I would let you know how Jay's endeavor in the ToughMan competition turned out. This thing went against everything I believe in, but I found myself being very entertained. Jay 'Soda Popinski' did not advance past the first round. He lost after 3 one-minute rounds in a unanimous decision. It wasn't all for naught though, because he made the front page of our school newspaper today. And I felt obliged to share it with all of you. Gotta run, check you all latah.

Weekend Update

Sunday, September 15, 2002

I love weekends. This one was a great one. Friday I all went to class and stuff, which is really studious for me. That night my friend Serge was having a party over at his place. I showed up around 11 and ended up being the first person there. People eventually showed up though and it ended up being a great time. I ended up catching a ride home with a friend and leaving my car there. Always the responsible one. The next day my parents showed up around noon. Luckily I just happened to wake up early and shower and drink some water (and get my car). My parents brought me a new kitchen table for my place, its totally sweet. Then we sat and chatted for a while. We went out for lunch at Texas Roadhouse, and then they took me grocery shopping. When we got back from Krogers they left for Houston to visit my brother, Stephen. It was a nice little visit.

Last night I went over to Ryan and Todd's place. David was in town yet again with their friend Sam. Frank and Stoner showed up and we started off the night with a little bit of 6-cup. Once the majority of us were sufficiently toasted, we busted out the drunken Pictionary. That is such a fun game. Me and Frank completely dominate when we're partners. We won the first game by more than half the board. Its pretty ridiculous, to be honest. I ended up not drinking for the rest of the night and driving myself home around 3am. Good times. Today I didn't do shit, but I'm about to go look at some homework and get it done. But right now I'm watching Pleasantville and really enjoying it. So I'll talk to you all later.

Catching up

Friday, September 13, 2002

I think I have a lot to talk about. I haven't blogged in a couple of days. So sit back, relax, and strap yourself in for this fast paced eye popping blog of all blogs. Okay thats a total lie. Anyway, what's been goin on? Wednesday passed like any other day, not much to talk about there. Thursday a lot of little things happened.

In my archery class we got to select bows. I chose a left handed 26 pound bow. I am left eye dominant so I'm taking the instructor's advice and firing left handed. He said initially it will be harder, but a better idea in the long run. And since I'm going to be a complete natural at archery, I want to be as good as I can be down the road. On Tuesday we actually get to fire arrows. I'm so excited.

On my way back to main campus from archery, my friend Nadia called me just to see what was up. I have a large break in between classes so I met up with her outside of the Bright Building just to say hi and bullshit. On the way, I ran into Adam, the guy who was in our speech class with us. We chit chatted for a little while and then parted our separate ways. The rest of the day was a total bore of class and stuff. But I did not go to open labs for the first time this week. It was a nice break. Instead, AllieD invited me over for dinner. She made beef strogonoff (if anyone knows how to spell this word I would greatly appreciate it). It was so damn good. She made a LOT tho, and it was just the two of us, so we ended up completely gorging ourselves while we watched Van Wilder (an excellent flick, I highly recommend).

After that I wanted to come home, get ready and go out. Turns out Allison was (a) in a good mood and (b) wanting to go out. So we actually went to Northgate just the two of us. That doesn't happen too much. We had a friggin blast. Well I know for sure I did, and I'm pretty sure Al did too. We started off at the library. I ran into some of my friends and we all shared a table. Allison had a Cosmopolitan cause she was already looking fabulous so she wanted to accentuate the obvious. I had a Jack and coke cause I'm a simple man with simple tastes. After that we went to Duddley's and drank some beers until they kicked us out. I completely forgot that we had parked in the garage, so I was thinking that Moore Hall was on the way to my car, so I made Allison go all the way over there cause I had to piss like a racehorse and everywhere on Northgate was locked. Burns let me in, and we chilled for a minute. Some guy was riding around on a skateboard, so Allison told him she had a phone call for him. It was the 80's and they wanted their skateboard back. Needless to say, she wasn't making friends. So we split. I got home, drank a few beers, chatted for a while, and then went to bed.

Today I woke up at like noon, didn't bother showering, went to my Symphony class. Then I did this assignment for my 349 class and turned it in, and now I am home. End of story basically. Tonight, me and Keith are going to the Toughman Competition. Our friend Jay has decided that it was necessary to gain like 7 pounds in order to be able to fight in the lowest weight division. He's going to get in the ring, hit somebody he doesn't even know as many times as he can, and I suppose its gonna prove something. Whatever the motivation though, we're so there. I know I shouldn't complain about the idiocy of such a contest when I'm funding it with my ticket price, so I'll try to keep an open mind going in. We'll see though. I'll let you all know how it goes. Til then ... be cool, stay in school.

Got fucking towed

Monday, September 9, 2002

I don't give a shit. You can call it "towing" all you want. It doesn't change the fact that I just got my car stolen. It doesn't belong to these fucks but they go ahead and load it up on the back of their truck and steal it. And then to add gravy, they hold it ransom and tell me I can't have it back until I give them $86.25, and if I leave it there until tomorrow, oh! its gonna be $104.50!

So here's the story. I have to warn you though, its a really short story since I was only parked in non-visitor for 45 MINUTES. My friend Arash called me to come watch a movie over at Justin's house. I had just gotten back from swimming at the rec so I was like "aight." So I go over to the University Commons and Arash tells me to just go ahead and park right next to him, which I do. We didn't even end up watching a movie cause it was kinda late so we watched TV for a little while, ate some ice cream, and then me and Arash excused ourselves. We get out to the parking lot and he's like, "I thought you parked next to me," and I'm like, "You gotta be fucking kidding me."

So we call the number and the guy has my car, and we have to drive like halfway to fucking Huntsville to find this Body Shop place. And then the guy tells me that its gonna be $86.25 in cash in exact change in order to get my car back. There's no ATMs within a radius of this place out in the middle of nowhere so we drive back to Harvey & Hwy 6. I get 80 bucks out of the ATM and Arash loans me $6.25 and we drive all the way back to the Body Shop. I suppose the guy was nice enough about it, and I thought I was rather level headed about the whole proposition considering I'd just gotten my car stolen. I paid him, he gave me my car, and I drove home. Its now 1:30am. The only plus is that my first class tomorrow isn't until 12:40 so the extra hour and a half tacked onto my night won't be that big of a deal. That is such freaking bullshit.

Apparently they're always lenient about visitor parking at University Commons. I mean, hell, Arash was parked right next to me and he didn't get towed. But the guy said a lot of residents on this particular night had been complaining about not being able to park. So he went out and started pullin' cars. It was especially neat how the first 10 spots on the row were visitor, then there were like 6 non-visitor, and then the rest of them were, again, visitor. So its like they're trying to bait people into getting their cars stolen. The whole thing is just a load of horse shit.

Naturally, I have to thank Arash for both the $6.25 and for the ride out to BFE. He was complaining about not being mentioned on my webpage, but I assured him, this would cement him a place in Sideshovid.com history. Needless to say, IF I ever go back to University Commons, I'll be extra careful about where I park. Now all I have to do is call my Dad and tell him about this, which will be fun since he's just informed me that I now owe him hundreds of dollars I don't have. Ugh. Money sucks. Please send your donations c/o SideshoViD. Thanks and GIG THIS!

Rallying the troops

Saturday, September 7, 2002

Last night I decided I wanted to go out. I had my out-fit on. So I went over to Allison's to discuss the proposition. To make a long story I don't wanna tell into a short story, two and a half hours later, it was decided that we would indeed, go to Northgate. This was around 11:30, which means we didn't step foot into a bar until midnight. By 'we' I mean 'me, Allison, and Katie.' There was a line for The Library (where I really wanted to go) so we opted for the new MadHatter's ... since none of us had been in there yet. It was pretty neat. They played nothing but 80's music the whole time, so I guess its kinda fun to have a themed bar on Northgate. Their drink specials were chocolate martinis for $2.50. That really didn't sound appetizing to me, but I didn't want to be left out, so I opted for an apple martini for a couple bucks more. Mmmk, if by 'apple martini' they meant 'a big glass of sour apple pucker.' Needless to say, I didn't really enjoy my drink much. Allison and Katie didn't much appreciate their chocolate/alcohol concoctions either. It was a little disappointing. We did run into some of our neighbors there, though, and talked to them for a while. And I saw one of my friends from elementary school and said hi to him for a while. All in all, I had a lot more fun that if I had just gone to bed.

I don't know about Princess tho, she was about as sour as my drink. We got home and she went to bed pretty much. I drank a couple beers and watched an episode of Cheers and then went home and drank my last beer. I was all alone and bored and getting drunk and I needed some company, some conversation, and another beer. So who did I call? Naturally, I called Holly. What a class act. She drove over to my place with 2 beers so we could sit and chat and share a drink. She's too cool. After that I called Keith to make sure he was alright cause it was like 4am and he's usually home before that. Turns out this kid decides to drive to Austin with Burns last night just spur of the moment cause they were bored. Whaaaatever. So then I went to bed and woke up today hearing a howling pouring rainstorm. So I rolled over and went back to sleep. I hate rain.

I heard my Aggies won 14-12 against Pitt. That's good news. Too bad I didn't get up to actually watch the thing, but oh well. Not sure what's on the plate for tonight, but I know I wanna get out of the house at least and mingle a little bit. We'll see what happens and I'll keep you all posted.

Clase and stuff

Wednesday, September 4, 2002

What's been up? Mostly just clase and stuff. I've found that my Symphony clase is really hard to stay awake through. I go in there tired and then they turn on classical music. Thats a deadly combination. I've zonked out in there both times now. And I've been getting like 9 hours of sleep a night. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Tonight I had to go to an IEEE-Tech meeting. Its this club thats really all about my major and I should really be a member but I don't feel like paying 50 bucks to have a magazine delivered to me once a month. I suppose its resume fodder, which I'm sure I need so I'll see about joining it at a later date. I'm in no hurry whatsoeva. I really don't have much exciting to talk about. I think I may spend some time updating the cast page now. I've started getting some political heat from the people who should be on there and aren't yet. Again, if you are on there and want to have a picture next to you, be sure to email me a pic: SideshoViD@sideshovid.com

Oh yeah, and Burns wanted me to tell you all that he has loads of porn and mp3's available for download at his site http://www.burns.tk. Laaaaaate.

First days of class

Tuesday, September 3, 2002

It begins. Class has officially begun here at Texas A&M University. In case some of you out there do not go to a communist school, you wouldn't assume that we started on Labor Day ... but we did. I started off the day trying to get my schedule together. I first went and talked to my prof about my summer project. I told him about my progress, which was substantial, and he decided that it would best serve me if I was in 349, the next level class. Which was really, really, really good news. I may actually graduate now. Of course, I have to prepare a 30 minute presentation/demonstration of my summer project within the next 4 weeks to prove that I've actually done what I say I've done. And I plan on starting on that ... tomorrow. D'oh!

Anyway, once I got that squared away, I dropped my 395 class that Diffeq subbed for, and had 4 hours I had to fill. I eventually did this with 3 hours of Symphony appreciation or something like that, and 1 hour of beginning archery, which I'm really excited about. My symphony class looks like its gonna be a breeze, but difficult to stay away through. I already know the names of all the instruments and what families they're in etc. So thats a cinch. My archery prof said we don't get to shoot an arrow until like the 4th week. Which sucks. I wanna get started.

My other classes are going to be challenging like always, because they're my upperlevel curriculum stuff. I dunno, I'm really thinking about doing good this semester. Each semester I get a little bit better about my study habits so I should be just about par with most incoming freshmen by now. We'll see how it goes. I'm so tired and I need to go to Best Buy so I can stop using Keith's computer. So I'll talk to you cats later.

First Football Game

Sunday, September 1, 2002

So much to say, so much to say. Let me start with our first football game. As many of you know, there are very few things that I love so much as Aggie football, so naturally I was pretty excited about the game. My sports pass wasn't renewed like I thought, so I had to wait in this long line in order to get it renewed. The point of telling you that, is that I couldn't pull with my friends so I just had a single ticket. So did Lindsay, so we decided to sneak in somewhere and sit together. I called Todd's cell phone and made him come down from his seats with two tickets so that we could sneak into his section, and then we ended up standing on his row since there was room. We had to move a couple times and Lindsay stood in the aisle for a while (I'm such a gentleman) but in the end we had plenty of room.

The girls behind me were pissing me off though. They were 3 ugly wenches and they kept talkin shit about every single play. They'd be like "Oh boy here comes our offense, this outta be good ... of course our defense is nothing great either" or "Oh great catch, I can't believe how bad we're going to be this year" and it was just constant. I mean they didn't shut up for the whole first quarter. So finally I turned around and I said, "Hi there. Excuse me. I was just wondering if you came to watch my Aggies play or if you just came to criticize every damn play. Can we please get a little team spirit back there?" And they kind of ignored me, but they shut up for a while. It was really sappin my fun though, so I had to say something. The game was great, I rank it #3 all time behind t.u. my freshman year and Notre Dame last year. We may not have played all that great, but thats not really how I rank football games. I really like turnovers, and there were more than enough to keep me jumping up and down the whole game. I'm not sure what the final count was, but there were seriously like 8 interceptions. And we won 31-7, which always makes for a good game. Anyway, I thought it was great. And thats the name of that tune.

When we got home, my neighbors Vinny and Cheyney (sp?) had gotten a couple of kegs, so the whole neighborhood came out again. Ryan and Todd showed up too and ended up spending the night here because we all got a little bit toasty. There were some people in the next building that were having a party too and theirs was much bigger than ours. They had to have had a good 60 people just in back by the keg. And every guy there was massive. I went inside their party for a while and I was absolutely dwarfed by everyone there. It was kinda weird. I don't know if they were football players or what. I met my other next door neighbor last night too and she was pretty cool. Her name is Brianne. She made us some fucking good mashed potatoes from scratch at like 4 in the morning. We know so many people in our neighborhood now, I'm gonna need to start jotting down names on a map to remember everyone. Its so great ... so incredibly different from the Enclave last year where we didn't see, let alone meet, a single neighbor in an entire year. Except for Candy, who we met once and then totally fabricated a personality for her until she was this fictional Kramer-esque 2-dimensional comedy schtick character. Whoo-ahhh!

So anyway, the parties were a little off the heezy so like 6 cops showed up and started IDing everybody. They never IDed me though, oh well. Apparently its illegal to drink in public after 1am, and the area between our duplexes is considered public. I was not aware of that. I didn't get any tickets but both of the people hosting the parties got slammed. Like $500 or something big like that. I'm not sure of the exact figure, I haven't ventured out of the house yet today to see the damage. Anyway, I'm gonna get back to the Food Network now. I just finished up a Good Eats with Alton Brown marathon (thanks for letting me know it was on Allison). I'll catch you skids on the flip slide.

Thursday Nights in College Station

Thursday, August 29, 2002

Not a whole lot has changed recently, dear friends. My room is still in disarray, though the living room is starting to come together. I've had a bit to drink. There was a keg out back one night, and that was a good time had by all. We know everyone on our street it seems. Lots of cool neighbors. Turns out the girl that shares our wall is a girl I've known for like 2 years. So thats a load off, no cranky neighbors.

I'm rather distracted right now, I'm trying to blog and watch Gone in 60 Seconds at the same time and its not really working. Unfortunately, you all lose. I'm gonna concentrate on the movie. Peace out kids, if anything exciting happens, I'll let you know.

100th Blog

Tuesday, August 27, 2002

Well this is a bit of a momentous occasion, dear Sidesho-Viewers. Welcome one and all to my 100th blog. I didn't actually realize that this moment was upon us until I saw that the archive address for my last blog was like 0000099. Its pretty exciting. I've enjoyed writing all 100 and look forward to 100 more. I know you all can't get enough of me.

Anyway, my computer still doesn't work. I'm on Keith's computer again. I spent a good portion of my night last night on the phone with the Cox cable lady and she had all kinds of things for me to do to our modem, the router, and my computer, none of which worked. Matt said that DJ has an extra network card that he's not using, so I'm going to try that and see if it fixes my problem. Other than the computer not working, I also don't have all of my furniture, which has made putting my room together kind of hard. I need my dresser so that I can put away my clothes and start arranging everything how I want it. As of right now everything is in a bit of disarray. All the stuff isn't out of storage yet either, so the living room is a mess too. I hate moving. But I love my new place so far.

Today I got up around 2 and went to get a sports pass. I apparently forgot to put that on my fee statement, so I had to wait in a line for an hour and a half for them to turn it on. All of my friends already pulled tickets to the first game so I pulled a solo ticket and I'm going to sneak down and sit with somebody I know. Not sure who yet. After that I went and saw my advisor so he could tell me some classes I have left to take. The list is dwindling. Unfortunately most of what I have to take is in my major, which requires pre-req's that I don't have. But there's still a few classes that I need to take, so I'll take some of them whenever add/drop week comes around. After that I went to the dorm to see Burns and check out where my roommates have been spending their nights this week. I've been trying to be responsible so I've been staying home and just watching TV. Tonight I drank some really good wine. Suds got it from Olive Garden cause he works there and they were getting rid of one of their vintages, so I bought a bottle for 10 bucks. Which was a steal. It was really tasty. I actually saved most of the bottle instead of drinking it all like I usually do, so I'll be able to enjoy it for a few more days to come.

I would like to go out tonight, but I shouldn't, so I don't think I'm going to. However, if somebody reads this and has something fun planned, definitely let me know. Otherwise, I'll spend my night chatting and watching MTV, which is AOK with me. Until then...

Wedding/New Duplex

Monday, August 26, 2002

Well, I was planning on waiting to make another post until I got my internet up and running, but it turned out that I just couldn't wait that long. I am using Keith's computer right now. His works just fine, yet mine two rooms over will not even find a connection. Its very frustrating. I've been on hold with Cox Cable for about 30 minutes now. I just moved in yesterday with my roommates for the next year Keith (who we all remember from last year) and Matt. We got ourselves a nice little duplex. If you wanna know where it is, send me and IM and I'll probably tell you. I just don't want to broadcast that information. Anyway, moving in has gone semi-well. I made myself a curtain today out of heavy canvas material because the sunlight was coming directly into my window this morning and I couldn't sleep past 8am, which is insanely early for me, as you know.

But enough about me. Lets talk about my weekend. I left around 9:30am on Friday with Allison to head back to Plano because my brother, Michael, got married. Friday night was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal was nothing. It took like 10 minutes to tell us all where to stand (I was a groomsman) and then it was off to the Radison hotel in Richardson for the dinner. It was a pretty good dinner, some chicken with this sauce on it and rice and a torte for dessert. There was also an open bar. That was pretty cool. I didn't much care for the country and western DJ until he put on some Eminem. It really flooded the dance floor, and I think it was the only rap song he had, so he just played it over again to keep everyone out there. As a gift for all of his groomsmen and ushers, my brother got us headlights. They're these 3 really bright LEDs that are attached to a headband and they can either produce a steady stream of intense light or you can make them blink or dim it or anything. They're really cool. So everyone out on the dance floor had these blinking lights attached to their foreheads. It was pretty cool. I was driving so I had to stay semi-in-control. I did a good job though. Even though after the dinner party me and Allison joined some of Michael's friends across the street at the Fox and the Hound for another drink.

The next day I just chilled around with the fam. Almost everyone went off the take a nap, but I wasn't tired cause I stayed in bed until well into the afternoon. So as everyone retired, I called my friend Jay in Plano and went over to his house. I haven't seen him in like a year. We ended up going to Bennigan's for a beer and he bought me a shot. Let me tell you, it was exactly what I wanted right before the wedding, but it didn't end up being an issue. The ceremony was at 7:30 at night. It was a nice wedding. Krista, my new sister in law, looked great. And, more importantly, so did I. Everything there went off without a hitch. They flew back to Sacremento, CA yesterday and left for Maui today. They're going to be there for 8 days. Fun stuff. The party after the wedding was another fun one with another bad DJ. It was the same DJ that did my brother, Stephen's wedding. He said his name was DJ Brian. I told him he was really clever. He played all the greatest hits of 20-30 years ago. Kind of sucked, but there was free beer, so we managed to have a good time. It was good to see all the family and old family friends and stuff. Even though I really only got to talk to each person for about 5 minutes. The next day I was moving into my new place so I got up, had brunch with Allison's family and then we hit the road for College Station. I ended up giving Kari (Krista's little sister) a ride back too, so it was the fullest car I've ever driven to school.

Now here I am in my new duplex, just chillin waiting for somebody, anybody, from Cox to pick up and tell me how to get my computer connected to the internet so I can get my AIM running 24/7 and my webcam too. Hopefully that'll happen in the next couple of days. If not, I'll be contacting you all from Keith's computer at a later date. Excelsior!

Dirty Vegas

Wednesday, August 21, 2002

Hello again, dear friends. I have returned unscathed from Sin City. My wallet, however, did not escape the inevitable. All said I lost exactly $300. The same amount that I went there with in my wallet intending to lose, so you could say I did alright. I didn't lose anymore than I wanted to, like I thought I might be tempted to do. In actuality, I won a lot of money over the course of the trip, I was even ahead at one point, but whats the fun in being in Vegas if you aren't going to gamble? Hence, I lost it back to the casinos. Dirty Vegas. So my apologies to everyone who commented on the last blog. None of you get the $100 I promised.

Recap -- The long story.

Sunday: 1:40am, Me, Ryan, Todd and David all pile into Ryan's car to drive to Austin where our flight departs from. We all did our best to nap a little before that, but it didn't ever really happen. We arrive at Ryan's sister's house in Austin about 2 hours later and she drives us to the airport. We got there plenty early since our flight didn't leave until 6am. We first flew to luxurious DFW airport ... which was kind of a bummer since we've all been there countless times, but we weren't there for long. We actually had like this 4 mile trek to get to our next gate, but luckily were able to flag down one of those motorized carts.
We arrived in Vegas around 8 in the morning due to the time difference and took a cab to our hotel. We stayed at the Aladdin. Our rooms weren't ready yet cause it wasn't 11, so we checked our bags and went to gamble. The first thing I did was put some money into a dollar slot and win 40 bucks. That was pretty exciting. I then proceeded to hop from slot machine to slot machine to find my favorite. And boy did I. Turns out I'm not only good at Wheel of Fortune in real life, but also dominate the slot machine version. That was probably my best game. We hit up a few casinos that day, one of which being the Golden Nugget. There we had the coolest dealer named Graham at the $5 blackjack. He taught us how to play better ... when to hit when to stay and he was fun to talk to. I ended up being at that table for a good 3 hours off of the same 40 bucks. At one point I was up another 40 on top of that, but ended up leaving the table dead even. At that point, I was even on the trip.
We then went back to the hotel, got all cleaned up, ate at PF Changs (our first meal in about 24 hours) and got ready for our limo ride. I was wearing a shirt I had purchased earlier in the evening, so in actuality I didn't leave Vegas completely empty handed. Our limo took us up and down the strip ... and then a tour of all the seedy strip establishments in Vegas, but we didn't actually go inside any of them. Our final destination was the Hard Rock. That place was pretty damn sweet. However, the smallest tables they had were $10. So I start off all confident and play $50 worth of blackjack and lose it very quickly. I was kind of upset about that since I didn't even get to play more than 10 minutes, so I went and found Wheel of Fortune. It wasn't as nice to me at Hard Rock, so I lost 40 bucks. I did however get to see Chris Kattan walk right by me. That made my damn night.
Since you only get free alcohol when you're gambling in a casino, I essentially spent 90 bucks for 2 beers, which was ridiculous. Todd was also way down on the day, so we decided that instead of paying 45 bucks for a beer, we might as well sit at the bar and pay 4 bucks per beer, which we did for a while. It was a much better time than throwing away your money for nothing. So that was the first day.

Monday: Discouraged by our loses the day before, me and Todd decided to hit up the pool the next day when we woke up, so as to delay our inevitable next loss. David joined us and we sun bathed for a while. The air in Vegas is so dry though that it'll sap your eyes of any moisture they have ever had. My eyes were almost completely colored in blood red. Scared me pretty good, so I bought some Clear Eyes and they returned to normal. I had to rewet them several times a day though. Then we went to a couple of casinos. I don't really need to name them all, if you're really that curious, just let me know. One I will talk about is Excalibur, cause we robbed that place blind. All of us came out of there ahead ... something that only happened at Excalibur.
We first hit up the horse races. It was this game that had 5 little horses in this little race track and you'd bet on which 2 horses would come in first, and each combination had different odds for each race. And you have like 30 seconds to place your bets (a quarter each) and then it takes another 30 seconds at least for the horses to get around the track. And you can yell at them like 'GO 3 GO!' and its funny cause they're mechanical. I liked that game cause it took a long time to lose your money if you were only better a quarter at a time. Everyone else got bored with it after a while, but I didn't. Plus it was getting me a plethora of free drinks ... all of which were Pina Coladas. I decided to see how many I could drink in one day, which may sound unhealthy, but they give you very, very, very weak ass drinks if you're playing cheap games, so I didn't even get drunk despite the 8 pinas I had. The moral of this story though, is that I put a quarter on horses 3 and 4 to win with 162 to 1 odds, and it fucking hit. I was so excited. Me and the guy next to me were high fiving and yelling. He bet 10 on it so he won nearly 400 dollars. I only bet 1 so I got around 40 dollars. But it was still exhilerating. I left after that and robbed the Excalibur.
Man, my fingers are getting tired. Almost done though, bear with me. After that we went to Casino Royale and I pissed away all of my winnings at the craps table. Turns out that I don't really like craps. I lost at it almost every time I played. Casino Royale was lame. We went back to our hotel and got ready to go out that night then. Me and Todd sat down at Wheel of Fortune before we left, and on my first pull I got a spin and won 200 quarters. Cha-ching. On Todd's third pull he got a spin and won 100 quarters. I then decided to play some more dollar slots and won 10 more dollars. Then we both played Monopoly on the nickle slots and I won 6 and Todd won 5 bucks. I was on a roll and so was Todd. We were feeling good as we left to go out that night.
First we stopped by Bellagio to see the water show. It was set to Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On." It was pretty impressive. After that we went downtown. That was a bad night for almost all of us. We went into Fitzgerald's to play some $5 blackjack. I threw down $60 to have it changed into $5 chips. Over the course, then, of 12 hands, I won once, and promptly lost that 5 bucks. So in effect, I really lost like 13 hands in a row, and I was so pissed. The dealer sucked too, she wasn't fun to talk to or lose to. It was probably the only time on the trip that I actually got upset about losing. I got up and took a walk around the casino. Everyone else got robbed by this bitch too. I swear she had so many blackjacks and stuff. It was absolutely ridiculous. Needless to say my winning streak was over. We went back to Aladdin and drank some more beers that I went ahead and just paid for.

Tuesday: The next day we had to wake up a little bit early to check out of our hotel rooms. By a little bit early I mean 11:00. We checked our bags and went to get some last minute gambling in at the Aladdin. I had 70 dollars left over and not much time so I decided to go balls to the wall on dollar slots. First thing I did was play some San Francisco game and win 50 bucks right off the bat. Then I hit Wheel of Fortune. I decided to put all of my dollar coins (80 dollars worth) into the machine and not cash out my credits. So if I lost, I lose, if I won, I won. I wasn't going to play anymore credits. Well, I put in 80 and I took out 80. Big deal, so I found a different Wheel of Fortune game that I was feeling good about. I hit the spin a few times and won 50 bucks, 30 bucks, 30 bucks, 20 bucks. In the end I was left with a bucket totaling around 150 dollars.
I didn't have much time left, but enough to still be gambling. And I could have left with 150 in my pocket, but I still would have been down and I hadn't hit it big yet. And it really takes some startup capital to hit it big, so I decided to go for it. I sat down at a few more dollar slots and slowly pissed away all of my winnings until I was left with nothing. And thats how you find me here today. Completely broke. Shit. Dirty Vegas. Oh well, it was a completely friggin blast.
We caught our plane then to LA, which didn't make much sense, but oh well. We got into LAX late and our flight to Austin was about to leave. So we had to literally sprint the entire length of LAX to get there on time. Needless to say it was a little bit painful for your arthritic, crippled author. We made it though and got to Austin around 10:something. Time zones really mess with me. We ended up in College Station around 2am and went to bed.

And that, my friends is the end of my Vegas Vacation story. Though you might not believe me, I didn't document every event on this blog, so if you still want to know more, just let me know, I'll talk your ear off. If you read this whole thing, consider yourself among the most loyal of Sidesho-Viewers. Thanks ... and gig this.

Vegas BABY

Saturday, August 17, 2002

The time is upon us, dear Sidesho-Viewers. In about 12 hours I will be on a plane to Las Vegas, Nevada for 3 days of glorious sinful fun. I'm starting to get really excited as I pack my bags and make last minute errands and purchases for things I might want. Hey, I know. I'll tell you what. If I win more than, say, $5,000 at the craps table (which is fairly likely) I will give anyone that leaves a comment a crisp, new $100 dollar bill. Yes my friends, the Sidesho-Bribery is back!

I will return to College Station on Tuesday. I'm going to chill and relax until Friday to go home for my brother's wedding. I would leave sooner but Allison is my date to the wedding and she only got off work for the weekend. Then (as I think I've stated several times) I will rush back to College Station to move into my new duplex. Then, of course, its time for the house-warming par-tay ... ooowwww! I'll let you all know when that's gonna be, cause I KNOW you all wanna be there. Anywho, I'm gonna go eat, take a nap (our sleep schedule's gonna be all screwy with the 6am flight and losing 2 hours) and then pack my bags and be on my way. Wish me luck...

Viva Las Vegas!

Random Trip to SA

Monday, August 12, 2002

So Thursday I decided I needed to get out of College Station, packed my things, and headed to San Antonio. It only took me 2.5 hours to get there, which is a new record by far. Kevin was supposed to meet me over at his apartment when I was getting close to being in town, but I actually beat him there. The door was unlocked though, so I let myself in. Whoops. His roommate, Todd from SA, was trying to bone some chick. It was behind closed doors, thank jebus, but I still interrupted what I'm sure was a very romantical moment between him and whats-her-face. Kevin arrived soon after and then the rest of the crew showed up. I swear there ought to be at least 10 people paying rent at that apartment for how much they hang out there. I would have a serious problem with it if it were my place, but its not, so its whateeeever.

The first night we bought some beers and sat around watching movies and drinkin beers. That was all well and good. The next day I was a tad hungover, which was compounded by the fact that there was absolutely nothing non-alcoholic to drink in the entire apartment. Even the water out of the faucet is bad. So I attempted to block out the headache until we could go get something to drink. We went to McDonalds but I couldn't stomach it so we went to see Andrew at the smoothie place where he works. He made me a free smoothie that really hit the spot. I felt a lot better after that. Apparently the smoothie place Andrew works at is kind of like a Starbucks in Plano. Thats what I gathered anyway. Anytime they don't have anything to do people go sit outside this place. Damn, I wish I could remember what its called. Arctic Freeze or something to that effect? It was coo though.

The next night we just took it easy. I fucked up Andrew's hair, but it was not my fault. He got some negative feedback which he promptly blamed on me. And he got some compliments on it (I thought it was cool) which he promptly took credit for. So it goes I suppose. The next day we went bowling and Kevin won. I did the worst I've probably ever done since I was old enough to use a big ball. Its was embarrassing. After that we sat around some more. That's really all I wanted to do and I got to do plenty of it.

I came home on Sunday and worked out since I hadn't gone in over a week and then went to bed. Today I went to class and then spent 5 hours in the lab working on my project. I met with my professor and he informed me that it was an all-or-nothing arrangement, so I either get it all working or I get nothing. Nevermind the work I've put into it, but I knew he was going to say that. I wouldn't mind except that I don't really feel like its my fault that I'm not done considering the computers crash on me every time I try to compile something and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm attempting to pinpoint the problem so I can at least assess whats going wrong, but as of yet I've found no reason, or even pattern to why certain files crash and some don't. Hopefully I'll have some luck tomorrow since time is fucking running out. I also need to meet with my advisor but he's harder to get a hold of than this other professor. They've all got their own shit going on during the summer which definitely doesn't involve helping me out. Such is life. Daniel's here to watch the Cubs vs. Astros game, so I have no TV now for the next 6 hours. Baseball is so fascinating. I'll catch you sluts on the flip side.

In San Antonio

Saturday, August 10, 2002

Sorry for the hiatus, kiddies. I just wanted to leave a quick note to let you all know that I am in San Antonio right now. I up and decided pretty spur of the moment to come see Kevin. So that's where I am and that's what I'm doing. I'll be back tomorrow and then I have a final on Tuesday and then I'm done with summer school. Score. After that, all that's on the calendar is the Vegas trip, Michael's wedding (my bro) and moving into my new place. Czech you skillets later.

1000 hits

Wednesday, August 7, 2002

Ugh, thank you very much to my retarded brother for getting my hit count up to 1000 'single handedly' as he put it. So now it totally skews everything. He's a real doll. I'm glad they're keeping him busy up at work.

In other news: Monday morning I had my second exam in PoliSci. I didn't study a terribly long time for it, but I think I did okay. We have two text books and the majority of the questions were from the good text, that reads like a human is writing it. I knew all of those. The other text is nothing but facts and figures and inane statistics at the end of which he goes, "So we can conclude nothing." Long story short (which is pretty worthless once I've already told the long story, sigh), I think I did well.

The best part of having a test one day is not going to class the next. So Monday night I rallied up the roommates for a par-tay or Milton Bradley proportions. Earlier in the day me and Todd went to Wal-Mart and purchased Yahtzee and Pictionary. We then invited Doug and Nicole, as well as our friend Fucking Frank to play some drunken Pictionary. Frank doesn't drink anymore and Nicole wasn't drinking that night, so it wasn't completely drunken, but it was completely fun. We played for hours. Whenever somebody won, we'd just start over. Me and Frank ended up winning, technically, since we won 2/4 games, but I'd have to say there were no losers that night. We all had a very good time.

After everyone left, me and Todd sat up playing some Drinking Yahtzee. Then I decided I was hungry so I called Clay and made him come pick me up and take me Taco Cabana. I think it was around 1am and he was working on a paper or something, but that wasn't important. What was important was my two chicken soft tacos. Damn skippy. Anyway, I didn't go to class on Tuesday (or today, shhh) because its completely worthless to go, and I just sat around all day. Did nothing spectacular.

Today I went to Texadelphia for Christine's 21st birthday ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINE!!! If you haven't got anything better to do, click there and send her a friendly birthday IM. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear from a loyal Sidesho-Viewer.

Anyway, that's all to report. Sorry for the massive amounts of paragraphs. I'm gonna go meet Justin for some coffee. Peace out, you have nots.

Home again home again

Sunday, August 4, 2002

Home again, home again, jiggety jig. Hola mi amigos, tu es muy tente! I have returned unscathed from the weekend. My drives there and back were both uneventful, which is always a good thing when you're driving on the highway. When I got first got to my house in Plano on Friday night, I ate dinner with the parents. We had these fatass ribs that were so good. I brought some home with me and just ate them for dinner tonight. After dinner I played my dad at ping-pong, but I totally forgot my paddle at home so I was trying to use one that was WAY cushier than I was accustomed to and I lost. I didn't get romped or anything, I even won a couple games. But overall he still beat me, even though I'm still convinced it was because of the paddle and not anything due to my physical short-comings. Although it didn't take him long to figure out that my forehand is unstoppable and my backhand is non-existent. (Shh, don't tell anyone.) After that we went swimming to cool down, and then Paw was ready for bed, and I was ready to go out. So I met up with Colleen at the mall because they had extended hours for Tax-Free weekend. We were only there a little while before I declared that it was time to go to Friday's to get a drink. We did that and it was very tame, we got there just before last call and then went home.

The next day I woke up around noon and went shopping myself. I ran into Colleen at Willowbend, I was halfway meeting her there, and halfway just looking around. I didn't shop with her though. I tried to win a 1000 dollar shopping spree but that didn't happen, unfortunately. I coulda spent the shit out of it on some Diesel apparel. Then I went to Stonebriar cause I was still in the shopping mood, but couldn't find anything there either. It was fun to people watch though. I'm starting to feel old cause I was definitely not up to date on the current fashion trends half these kids at the mall were partaking in. And I'm sorry, but I still hate the front-tuck on shirts. I will never do that. Anyway, I wasn't there long and I went home. My parents went to go see Stomp so it was up to me to find dinner. But I had a project.

I've decided that my job is going to be playing guitar at daycares. There's good money to be had in that profession and I'm damn good at it. I can play, sing, interact with kids, and I have a shitload of experience. So I printed up a flier for myself. Maybe I'll post it up here once I get it all done. I did make a rough draft though and I took it over to MaryAnn's house to peruse it. She would know about that shit. She gave me some good advice on it and how to go about getting into the business. As an added bonus, she also fed me this badass meal of fried chicken, noodles, and brownies. It was "the bomb," as the children say. After that I met up with Steve at the ol' Starbucks and had a citrus smoothie type drink. It was really good. It tasted like a liquefied Dreamsicle. And we all know how much I love Dreamsicles. To cap off the evening I went down to Carabbas to hang out with Ryan S■■■. He's the head waiter there, and I had to wait around for forever for him to close out the registers or some shit like that. But I got to sit back in the office, so that was cool. Then we went to some guys house that he knows down in Dallas. It sucked though cause everyone there had gone to the lake earlier in the day and were already asleep by the time we showed up. So it was basically just me and Ryan playin pool and hangin out, which we really could have done at my house. Ryan's going to LA soon though to be a movie writer or something, so this may have been one of my last times to get to see him conveniently. I may go home one more time or he may come to College Station, its still very much up in the air. I'll fill you all in on that. Anyway, this should clue you into what happened this weekend. Anything else, or anyone else I talked to is insignificant. So ha! Adios, ninos.

Goin home

Friday, August 2, 2002

This is just a quick note to inform everyone that I am on my way home to Plano now. I'm gonna spend the weekend with the rentals and relax. I may or may not be posting while I'm home so if you don't hear from me until Sunday, fear not, I am still alive. Well, probably. Laaaaaaaate.

Rut

Thursday, August 1, 2002

All I ever do: class, study, sleep, class, study, sleep, class, study, sleep. And if you believe that, I've got some ocean-front property in Arizona I'd like to sell you. But seriously folks, I do feel like I'm stuck in a bit of a rut, although it includes a lot less "class, study, sleep" and a lot more "beer, shots, wells." So I decided to go home to Plano tomorrow. That way, I can hang out with the parents, go swimming, tanning and play some ping pong. I can use some of my free time to study for my polisci test on Monday, and I can catch up and hang out with some old friends I haven't seen all summer. I think its a flawless plan. There's really not much else to report at this time.

Oh, and Joseph, try reading the damn blog. My email address doesn't work because its changed. It's now SideshoViD@sideshovid.com. Is anyone else confused?

Day o’ Allison

Tuesday, July 30, 2002

I spent almost all of yesterday with Allison. She called and woke me up to come eat lunch with her at the Cotton Snatch, where she works. So I got up, threw on a clean shirt and headed out there. I had Brocorri Cheese soup and a salad. Allison had a glass of water and a crouton. Then we went to Kroger and did some brief grocery shopping and went back to Allison's pad. We hung out there for just a little bit and then headed over to the mmmovie theater to see Austin Power's in Goldmember. I really enjoyed the movie. At times it was slow and at times it was the opposite of funny. But it was overall generally entertaining at all times. The real key was that when it was funny, ohmigod, it was hilarious. So I was either looking at my watch wondering when it would end or having a groin grabbingly good laugh. I would definitely recommend seeing this movie.

After AP, Allison wanted to stop by Academy sports and outdoors, the right stuff the right price. So we did just that. Turns out, all their summer stuff was on sale. And I've been wanting a new beach towel cause my Darth Maul towel from like 2 or 3 years ago just isn't doing it for me anymore out poolside. So I got a new towel for like 6 bucks. I've also wanted a new suit cause I had swimming laps in board shorts. So I got a more sensible lap swimming suit for like 5 bucks. Its ugly as hell, but the only one left in my size. Then I bought a sleeveless workout shirt for about 6 bucks and a pair of A&M workout shorts. I have a new workoutfit, which I unveiled last night to RAVE reviews, I'm sure. I also bought a pack of undershirts, because all of mine seem to say FUCK on them in one fashion or another. What a dirty little habit of mine. Anyway, after that we decided to slurge once again and go to On the Border for dinner. I got some chicken enchiladas and Allison had a light salad with dressing on the side. After that I came home and slept until I woke up around 10:30 and went to go work out. I just woke up today and nothing has happened yet so I'll have to tell you about it tomorrow. Excelsior!

Another weekend come and gone

Sunday, July 28, 2002

Friday night was a right proper blast. It ended up that we decided to stay home and drink some beer. We had a pretty good turnout too considering we didn't really intend on having a party. Maddou came over early on in the evening to start sipping on a few brewskis. Later on then John showed up with one of his female friends. Jennifer drove in from Houston, also with a female friend. Doug and Nicole showed their faces once more and managed to convince a couple people to play drinking games (not me though, I always heed my own advice -- never play Doug's drinking games). There was some other guy there that I think came with Doug, I'm not sure. He had really cool tattoos. I'm sure was a little too interested in them, but I was drunk and they were really intricate. To top off the guestlist, Allison made a semi-surprise visit. We had such a blast. Me and Allison haven't gotten a chance to party together in forever. I don't think we stopped laughing hysterically the entire night. Everything was funny to us. Funny because it was true -- it was funny and true.

If you can imagine, I may have had just a little too much fun on Friday night, though I don't regret it one bit. So last night I took it pretty easy. We watched a bunch of TV and that was just about it. Maddou invited me out to Northgate but I honestly don't have any money. I have like 12 dollars in the bank right now but you need at least $20 to get it out of the ATM ... cause I ain't paying the service fee on the $5 ATM they have on Northgate. Anyway, it turned out to be a right bore, but I think I needed it. Oh yeah, this is off topic, but I talked to Stuart the other night. He finally called me back. You all remember Stuart from Moore Hall, right? He lives in Nashville, Tennessee now. Talk about fucking random. Whatever floats his boat though, I'm sure its better than Fort Worth.

Alright, I think today I'm gonna go to the rec and work out since I have such a fabulouso body now. My weight hovers right around 150 still, I haven't gained a damn pound in so long. The other day I was 152 a new high, and then yesterday I was back down to 149. I don't get it. I can't gain weight for the life of me. And that creatine was giving me heart palpitations so I quit taking it. Anyway, then I'm gonna lay out. So my day is full. You all be good ... and don't forget to tip your waitress.

Just another Manic Monday

Monday, July 22, 2002

Monday has passed once again, folks. Let me start from where the last blog left off, though. Saturday night me and the roomies went to Ptar's again. Its so chill there and it didn't even get crowded. Good times had by all. Me and Todd got home after last call and weren't quite finished so we inadvertently stayed up to watch the sun rise. I think I went to bed around 7am. I sure do say "I think I went to bed around ... " a lot in the blogs. Maybe JellieNuts was right. Maybe I do have a drinking solution, I mean problem. Alas. Sunday me and Todd both awoke with no hangovers. Incrediblé! Ryan and Todd left to go to the horse races in Houston, and unbeknownst to me were going to be gone ALL day. I'm not complaining though. I got the whole house to myself for once. I got to watch my TV shows, put the damn dog outside, and I got a lot of studying done on and off between excellent programming on the Food Network. I couldn't believe that Iron Chef Harauki Sakai pulled it off in battle #33 - Uni (Sea Urchin Roe). That guy is unstoppable. Anyway, back to my story. I spent the whole day studying for that PoliSci test that I had ...

This morning. I tried to wake up early but I just kept snoozing. I got to campus just in time to buy myself a scantron and get to the test with like 10 minutes to peruse my notes one last time. I didn't think the test was that hard, but I'm not sure I did awesome on it. For instance, the first question was something to the effect of "According to Luttenberg, what is the best state in the union? (A) Texas (B) Mississippi (C) California (D) Due to the inconsistencies in the measuring qualities, it is hard to claim one state in the union is better than other if personal preferences are not taken into account." That's not ver batim but it is just as easy as the question we got. If you're unsure of the answer, pop me and IM and I'll let you in on the joke. So anyway, I got done with that pretty damn fast. 50 multiple choice questions. Then I ran and got lunch with my speech friend, Nadia at Duddleys were I almost ran into Dr. O■■■ (if you'll recall he is the professor that owns me). But we managed to slip out unseen, hopefully. Although after today I'm no longer afraid to see him cause I spent several hours in the lab and got so much done on my project. About 50% of the commands I had to program into the CPU are fully operational. Its amazing how much faster it goes when you understand what you're doing and take a logical, organized approach to solving the problems. Ahh, is there anything algorithms can't do?

On that note, I'm gonna get the hell out of here. I was planning on playing open mic night at Ptar's tonight but it appears my roommates didn't think I was serious, and have no desire to go. Maybe next week. If I do, I'll let you know in advance so you can all come. Laaaaaaaate.

Back from Houston

Saturday, July 20, 2002

I am back from Houston and my brother's 24th birthday. Boy did I have a good time. First we went to a restaurant called Floridito's. As many of you well know, I hate seafood and refuse to eat it. But Stephen wanted seafood for his birthday so I agreed to try it. I had something like a grilled banana leaf mahi-mahi. It was so good. It wasn't like any fish I've had before. It had a different taste and texture than I was used to and had all kinds of carribean stuff like mango on it. That was delish. His wife, Rachel, bought us each a drink called a Rum Runner. It was also very good, though very alcoholic.

From there we went to Dave n Busters. Rachel was funding the little operation and bought us each a Water Moccasin shot. I had one at Shadow Canyon the other night and it was a light, easy shot and a very tasty treat. Rachel wanted a shot that wouldn't be hard to take so we each had a birthday shot for Stephen. Then we told the bartender that it was his birthday so he bought Stephen a shot too. It was called a Tiger's Tail. I'm not sure what all was in it, I know there was some Jäger in there. He said it was good. A beer later a group of Stephen's friends showed up. It was a semi-surprise semi-party for him. When there were 6 people, Rachel once again stepped up to the plate and this time ordered 6 shots. These were called a 'Buzz.' They were huge shots, filled to the top. Everyone was joking we needed a straw for them. I took mine like I thought everyone else would but I ended up being the only one to shoot it, the rest took half and half or just drank it. I guess I'm still in that 21st birthday mode, but I thought it was a really good shot.

After that we spent the night in the arcade playing skee-ball, driving games, etc and always giving our tickets to this little black kid who never once said thanks. He just stared at us like we were crazy. He musta been about 4. It was funny. We did end up spending some of our own tickets. They weigh them and print you off a little voucher, so we tried to put our finger on the scale to up the count. Apparently the thing is pretty sensitive, cause when I really had 24 tickets, it printed out a voucher for 829. I got busted, but naturally argued with the guy acting offended that he would accuse me of such a thing. Stephen bought a couple big bouncy balls with the tickets. It was a fun night, I think we left around midnight. It was kind of weird though to be walking around with a beer fairly drunk while little kids are running around you playing video games and cashin in tickets. But it was a hella good time. Then we went home and went to bed. That was the extent. Tonight I think I'm gonna study for my government exam on Monday. I'm so studious. My roommates are both gone right now but their cars are here so I don't know whats up with that. I guess I'll give them a call in a minute. Peace out, sluts, have a good Saturday night.

Recap

Friday, July 19, 2002

YESTERDAY: Yesterday was a hella good time. I skipped class because I was exhausted from the Austin trip and just bummed around the duplex all day long. For dinner I met up with Allison and her mother, Delilah, at Wings N More. The whole Allison gang was there, her roommates, neighbors, and fratdaddy friends. It was so great to see Delilah, not only is she the coolest mom ever, but she's one of the (if not THE) most loyal Sidesho-Viewers. Gotta love that. After a wonderful dinner of chicken tenders, fries, and toast, all soaked into way too much ranch, I went back home to get ready to go to Karaoke Night at Shadow Canyon. We got there around 10 to take advantage of the $3 pitchers until 11. It was around 11 that Allison, in tote with Christine, Katie and the rest of the Dexter gang showed up to Hole in the Wall. For those of you not from College Station, Hole in the Wall is connected to Shadow Canyon. So Allison called me and I met them down there for a couple more pitchers of some Coors Light. We swear it was Coors Light and not Natty. Shadow was Shadow for the rest of the night, a few pitchers and couple chuggers later and we adjourned over at Doug's house (if you'll recall, Doug is the guy who taught us the vicious drinking game last weekend). At Doug's we played a game of 42. Me and Todd completely wiped the floor with Ryan and Doug, and I don't have a clue how to play really. So that was lucky. We finally came home and went to bed, but there was a good time had by all.

TODAY: Today I was forced to skip class again. Big shocker there. I'm going tomorrow (err, today technically) if I ever get to bed. Today I just bummed around again. I did start on the coolest pair of pants ever though. I am cutting up a pair of jeans and stitching them back together with thick ass twine. It looks so cool thus far. Hopefully it will continue in that trend.

TOMORROW: Tomorrow I'm going to class, and then coming home for lunch and stuff. Ryan's parents should be here around 3, and I've never met them so I'm going to wait around for that. Then I am departing for Houston because it is my brother, Stephen's, 24th birthday. I'm going to stay there over night and then come home on Saturday because I have a polisci test on Monday that I'm not too sure about. I did read 3 chapters today though and the test shouldn't be too terribly difficult if the guy gives like 40% A's on pickaprof. Alas, now it is time to hit the proverbial hay. I'll catch you have nots later (incidentally one of the gov. chapters I read tonight was on the concept of haves and have nots. Pretty cool huh?)

Howie Day

Wednesday, July 17, 2002

Good morning everybody. What you say? Its 2pm? Ah well, my bad. I just woke up. Actually, I woke up at 10 and decided that I really needed the day off so after snoozing a couple of times I just turned the fucker off. I'm not sorry either. Why was I so tired? Well, allow me to tell you about yesterday.

My friend Justin had introduced me to a singer named Howie Day. And Howie Day was playing yesterday in Austin, once at 5 at a record store, and then a small venue concert at 8. He wanted to attend both, so I said I was down, and we left for the land of t-sips around 1:30. Though it was raining pretty much the whole way, we got there without a hitch in time to grab some lunch, a spot of tea (hey, when in Rome), and head over to the record store. We hit some serious Austin traffic and didn't get to the place until ike 5:30 and walked in to hear the very end of his last song, which sucked. But Justin got his CD autographed and I got to meet him. I lied and said I really enjoyed the show, even though I hadn't seen any of it.

So we bummed around town for a little while longer, took a look at the campus, and then decided to get in line to buy tickets around 7:00. We got to the Cactus Cafe and there was already a huge line, composed mostly of people we recognized from the record store earlier. They were true to their word and didn't start selling tickets until they openned their doors. It got down to like 8 people before us and they announced that they were letting in anyone who had prepurchased their tickets online go first to make sure they all fit and we would just have to wait and see. We were very lucky because they took the next 10 paying customers ... making us the last two. Although, they eventually let in a few more to standing-room-only, we still felt lucky to be among the first let through. Standing the whole time sucked and I did have to take a few small sitting breaks, but it was totally worth it.

This man can do things that I had never imagined possible. He's a great singer, he's pretty good at guitar, but that isn't the half of it. I never really for sure figured out how he did it, something with pedals at his feet, but he was sampling himself live and managed to loop it. I don't know how many tracks he could get going at once, but at times there were at least 8. He would bang on his guitar in different spots and it would sound like a base drum and some bongos and he'd loop that. Then he'd rake on his strings and it would sound remotely like a snare drum. He would crank up the base on his acoustic/electric and start slapping out a baseline, all the while adding to what he'd already gotten going. Then he'd strum something, pick out a solo, and quite often be singing 3 and 4 part harmonies ... with himself! Live! Oh it was incredible. If I had one of those machines, whatever they are, I would be so incredibly popular. I've never seen or heard of anything like this, thus I was completely mesmerized and totally impressed. If you hear of Howie Day playing anywhere near you, GO! That is my advice.

On a side note, my AOL still seems to be working today even though its a day past when they said they were going to shut it off. Maybe that was a bluff to get me to start paying and their really not going to do anything about it. I dunno. I still need to get a new email address regardless so I don't have to deal with this shit again. Earthlink's help center sucks my left nut though and its hard to get any info out of them unless you call, and I'm not in the mood to call them. We'll keep you updated on that situation. Until then, I hope everyone had as lazy a day as I did. If you want to bump into me tonight, you best be at Shadow Canyon for Karaoke Night. Whoop!

Recovery

Monday, July 15, 2002

Last night turned out to be rather interesting. We hosted a small gathering at our duplex. It was me, Todd, Ryan, Jennifer, Daniel (until about 10) and a friend of Ryan's from work and his girlfriend. Doug and Nicole (respectively) brought with them a brand new drinking game none of us had played before. It was called Spades, and it was one of the most vicious drinking games I'd ever seen. One person calls out a suit, and cards are dealt to each person until a card of that suit appears. The person that received that card then has to drink the number of the card 2-14 (Aces being 14). The trick is, the timer is everyone else. The person to their immediate left starts 1, then the next person says 2, and so on. So basically you can count as fast or as slow as you want. And there are a few other funny rules. Like, you have to say another suit before you set your drink down. If you set your beer down before you say it, you have to repeat the card that you messed up on. Also if you miscount when someone else is drinking, they stop drinking, and you must take their card. The most fun rule, in my opinion, is that if the person drinking finishes their beer before the count is up, they can slam it on the table and whoever was supposed to say the next number, again, takes their card. So if you have just a little left in your can you can totally screw somebody. This also keeps someone from waiting too long to say their number. Basically, the game was totally fun and I wanted to put the rules up here for anyone that wanted to give it a go. But be forewarned ... we were all maxing out the breathalizer pretty early on in the night.

I think we passed out early. I'm not sure. I do remember getting online briefly, but don't remember any of the conversations I was having. If it was with you, help me piece that part of the night together. I didn't wake up today until about 3:30. I would have gotten up sooner but a storm knocked out the power last night so I had no idea what time it was until I got up and put my watch on. But that took care of the hangover, which I'm sure I would have had if I'd gotten up earlier. It was worth it though, we all had a blast. And as an added bonus, I have no desire to drink for a long time now ... so I'll be able to hold off until next weekend.

Speaking of next weekend, its my brother, Stephen's, 24th birthday. At least I think its 24. So I'm gonna drive to Houston to attend his little shindig in honor of the mediocre occasion. Fun stuff, I always love driving to Houston. Anyway, I think its time to retire, got an early day tomorrow as always. Peace out, have nots.

New Summer Session

Tuesday, July 9, 2002

Today was the first day of the new summer session. I'm only taking one class: PoliSci 207, State and Local Government. My professor seems like a nice enough guy, he gives lots of A's. But he also believes in engaging the classroom in discussions, which I'm not really into, especially in a class of 300 people. He spends a lot of time just waiting for someone in the room to respond to his (what I consider) rhetorical questions. It shouldn't be too bad though, its only one class and its at 10:00 so I'm done early.

I tried to start working on my summer long project, finally. I've already pissed away half the summer. I went into the lab and downloaded all the files I need, but my computer ended up crashing 3 times and it pissed me off. They also keep it like 30 degrees in the lab, and since I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt I froze my ass off. I decided to just come home instead, like I knew I would anyway. I'm going to dress warmer tomorrow, which will be fun because I can sweat my ass off the rest of the day.

I inadvertently omitted Todd from San Antonio from the last blog. He's Kevin's roommate. He paid for mad drinks for us on our birthday and I am, of course, very much obliged. I like it when people buy me alchohol. I'm not sure what's on the slate for tonight. Allison usually goes to Ninfa's for the Ninfaritas and I'm supposed to accompany her sometime, but I think she said she doesn't want to go today. If that's the case I'll probably sit at home watching movies and drinking some beers. My life is too exciting.

I found out today that AOL finally figured out that I haven't given them a penny in like 7 years. I got an email from them saying that since I no longer work for them that I have until July 16 to either start paying or have my account canceled. That totally sucks. I have so much stuff coming to my email address regularly ... I mean I've had it for so long. I'm going to have to transfer it all over to somewhere else. My webpage comes with like 30 email addresses, but I can't figure out how to set them up. Once I do my email will be SideshoViD@sideshovid.com, which is cooler anyway. I'm still not happy about the whole arrangement.

I laid out in the sun yesterday for like an hour and a half. I got some good sun, but only on half of my body. Serves me right for going out there late in the day. I need to remember to turn my chair, I guess. My legs itch. I'm out.

I’m 21 now

Sunday, July 7, 2002

Greetings from the land of 21. First let me thank everyone who attempted to call me on my birthday. If you forgot, good news: I'll never know. My cell phone, apparently, was telling everyone that, "This VoiceStream customer is no longer in service." My feelings got progressively more hurt as the day went on because NO ONE had called me. So around 10:00 I decide to call my parents to find out what the dillyo, and they were like "DAVID! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WE'VE BEEN CALLING ALL DAY!" And then I called Ms. Allison and got about the same reaction, so that made me feel better. Like I said, if you didn't call, just say you did and make me feel special.

So what did I do this weekend. Well first, me and Todd drove to Kevin's apartment. We had to take two detours on our way there because of the severe flooding all around San Antonio. You should have seen the Guadalupe River. My god, the thing was beyond swollen, it was crazy. We eventually made it to Kevin's, and he worked until about 10 that night. And as soon as he got home and we all got ready we went out to a pool hall called Bradley's. There were a bunch of Kevin's friends there as well as Todd and my friend Will from College Station. We got there around 11:00 and the door girl said she couldn't count me and Kevin as over cause it wasn't midnight yet. So we got big black X's marked on our hands. At midnight, we went back to the door and some guy in charge told us it would be okay if we went to the bathroom and washed the X's off our hands and then served us a free beer. The drinks then ensued. I had a load of beers, and one shot, which naturally, was a Four Horsemen. Thats a damn stout shot. I can get sufficiently drunk off just that. We tried to play a little pool, but that proved difficult. Kevin could hardly hit the cue ball. And this is all by 2:00 cause that was closing time.

Then we went back to Kevin's pad and had a little party with everyone. I don't know exactly what happened, but I know I was drinking all night, and I somehow out lasted everyone at the apartment. I was so drunk but I was up and watching a movie and everyone else was asleep or had gone home. So I went to bed and got around 4 hours of sleep before I got up on Saturday. I was so damn hungover it wasn't even funny. And it was one of those wonderful 24 hour kind of hangovers. So I felt like shit all day long. Saturday night we went to Fox and Hound and had a couple beers, nothing too fancy. Everyone had already kicked off the party that night back at Kevins. When we got there, I had no choice but to take a nap. My head was pounding and all the lights and noise was too much. So I fell asleep for a couple hours and then rejoined the party. It was kinda fun cause they were t-rashed and I wasn't drunk. And as an added bonus, I wasn't hungover this morning when I had to drive home.

This morning we woke up and got ready to come back to College Station. We said our goodbyes and left San Antonio around 3 after we had a little lunch. We decided to take some new and improved way home, I'm not sure what possessed us. But we ended up in Austin, and I called Will and asked him how the hell to get back to CS from there. Thank god we finally got here, and just a shade over 4 hours later. Oy! But I am back, and thanks again to everyone who left a comment or tried to call. You're all beautiful. It was especially good to hear from Joseph, who has been AWOL all summer. He'd best be keeping in touch if he knows whats good for him. And that's the name of that tune. Peace out, you have nots, stay in school.

Weekend drunken fun

Saturday, June 29, 2002

God, what a hangover that was. I'm not sorry to see it go. I decided to sleep it off this time instead of dealing with it. I just woke up and its like 3:00pm. Gotta love the weekends. Last night we hosted a little get together at the Green Monster. Allison Delerie and her boyfriend Jamie came over as well as Todd and Ryan's friend David from Arlington. Later in the night my friend Allison came over after she got off work. And the final two guests were Erica and Zach. Erica is from Ryan's logic class and Zach was visiting her from Austin. It was a grand ol' time. All I know now is that I spent the morning in bed drinking water to alleviate a splitting headache and there must be about 100 bottles strewn about the apartment tonight. I ain't sorry though, like I said, it was a blast. I'm not sure whats on the menu for tonight, but I'll let you all know about it later. Peace out.

Speech 3

Thursday, June 27, 2002

I gave my third speech today. I decided to do it over stem cell research ... it was a little more specific than cloning, and easier to research because of that. If you're at all interested in reading it (I'm kind of proud of it) you can do so here. I accidentally went thru it a little bit fast in class though and might have come in under time. I tried to stall the conclusion a little bit so I would be within time. If I didn't quite make it, thats an automatic 5 points off, aside from the 'probable inadequecies of a short speech.' Lets just hope for the best.

I decided then that since I gave a speech today it was okay for me to skip statistics. Oh my god, that class is so boring. You have absolutely no idea how dry and sleep enducing this man is. I didn't figure I would last another day, much less stay awake to reap the benefits of being present, so I just came home and took a fat nap.

Tomorrow I have some stat homework due and a few speeches to evaluate in my speech class, which sucks, I'd rather skip the whole day. And then tomorrow night I think Allison Delerie is gonna come over with her boyfriend and get sloppy. This is my last weekend as a minor, don't forget, so you know I'll be hittin it up minor style. Boo yah!

Oh boy

Tuesday, June 18, 2002

I need to check the syllabi to my classes more often. I come to find out today that I have a speech due tomorrow in SCOM and a huge homework due in STAT. We'll see how much of each one of those I can get done. I'll certainly work on the speech first since its worth gobs more than a homework assignment.

The speech has to be over a concept or a process dealing with my major. I'm not sure. I was thinking of doing cell phones, but they're not really a concept nor a process. My major kind of sucks for this particular speech because everything we do is highly technical and very jargon-based. And those are two things we're supposed to shy away from when giving a speech. We'll see. I've already accumulated 22/25 points available thus far, so if I can get another good grade on this speech, I'll be sitting pretty.

In other news, living with a dog is really starting to get on my nerves. It was obnoxious at first, then got tolerable, and has now been upgraded to disgusting. This dog sheds everywhere, stinks like hell, and lays wherever the fuck he wants, including my bed. And I get shit when I kick him off my bed, because I generally literally kick him off my bed. I sprayed some carpet deodorizer yesterday but it doesn't help much if you're laying on a pillow that smells like dog. That is definitely on thing I will NOT miss when I move into Medina.

Oh and btw, Medina RULES!

Travis and Micki’s Wedding

Sunday, June 16, 2002

I just returned from Conroe where I attended Allison's step brother's wedding. I had so much fun last night, but boy am I paying for it today. Let me start from the beginning though. We started out the first night by going to the rehearsal dinner at the Macaroni Grill. The food was so good and I was so fetted and full by the time we were done. That night was pretty moderate on the partying. I we had some beers with dinner and then went over to Chili's for a little after party. I ordered a big ol' blue margarita, didn't even get carded. After that me and Allison each got a 24 oz beer at the gas station and drank that back at the hotel and just hung out by the pool chatting.

On Saturday I didn't have jack to do all day but everyone I knew was in a frenzy. It allowed me some time to just sleep late, lay out by the pool, and read my book that I still haven't finished. I got kind of tan though, I need to be laying out every day, when I can find the time. Anyway, then all I had to do was be ready to go to the wedding at 7:00. It was an outdoor wedding and it was really pretty. It was a fairly short wedding, and the minister-type dude made it all rhyme. Needless to say it was nothing like a Catholic wedding. It was at this quaint little bed and breakfast with white picket fences and shit. We stayed there drinkin and then went back to the hotel pool for the after party. I ended up staying up drinking until 5am. I was more than a little intoxicated. It was the really good kind of long periods of slow drinking saturated drunk. Which more than explains my splitting headache, aching body, and queasy stomach today. But it was worth it, I had a really good time.

On the calendar is a Speech test tomorrow morning and a Stats test on Friday. Nothing too strenuous. And I need to start on that damn microcontroller project. Catch you kids tomorrow.

Speech Grade

Wednesday, June 12, 2002

I got the grade for my speech today. I got an 85 on it. Its not that great, but it was the highest grade in the class. He said with a little effort I could be much better. I suppose I can't argue with that since I did the speech in less than a day. Once again, I got the comment that I am too monotone. If I had a nickel for every time I'd heard that in my life ... well, I'd have a shitload of nickels.

Today was a good day though. I slept in late. And by late I mean 9:20, but it still felt good. I went to class but nothing was due, so all I had to do was show up. Then I walked my happy ass over to Burger Boy for lunch. I felt like I needed it. After that I met Allison, Christine and Katie over at the Rec Center pool to lay out in the sun. Summer can be so rough sometimes. After that, I came home and Ryan cooked steaks. Yum. Gotta love protein.

I think tonight I'm going to do my stats homework and try to get to bed at a reasonable hour, after I watch the first half of Costa Rica vs. Brazil, of course. That is, if we decide to not go to Shadow Canyon for karaoke night. I don't think we're going to though. I also have to get my workout in, so I'll be heading back to the Rec Center again tonight. Right now I'm weighing in at 150 lbs straight up. My target weight is 165. I'll keep you all posted. I may have already gained a pound, but its hard to tell on that scale, so maybe I'll just report every 5 pounds I gain. Either way I look damn good. Boo yah. Czech you later, skillets.

John Lennon Speech

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

Well today was fun. About a week ago we were assigned a speech for my SCOM203 class. If you'll recall, it was supposed to be over a significant historical event. I pissed away my time trying to think of a really stellar topic until it became the day before it was due. I finally had to just pick a topic, any topic, and start writing the speech. I chose the murder of John Lennon. Not that I'm a huge Lennon fan, nor did I particularly care for the Beatles, but I wanted to do something with music, I respect the man and his work, and there weren't any good sources over John Denver's death.

I feel it necessary to give thanks to a couple of people. First Ryan S■■■ for helping me get started, figure out a killer intro, teaching me about ethos, pathos, and logos, and telling me to just shut up and write the speech. Also to Allison who let me come over at like 11:30 to help/encourage me to finish my speech and then listen to me read it a few times. I ended up finishing writing the speech and the outline I used to speak from around 2am. And I got up this morning at about 8 to get to school, print it out, and practice it. In fact, that reminds me that I used my ftp to transport the files, so if you would like to read my speech you can do so here.

I managed to memorize the thing in a little over an hour this morning and was feelin good when I got to class. There were 8 people speaking today and I was fifth. Some of them were clever, a couple were well written and a couple were even pretty good speakers, but all of them before did nothing but bolster my confidence that I was going to do fine. And I did. I didn't studder or mess up or anything. I'm pretty confident that it went well, I'm just hoping my outlines and stuff are in the proper format so I can get full credit there.

My friends in my class were very supportive of my speech, which was flattering. And we all know I do like to be flattered. My friend Adam leaned forward after I sat down and said, "And you hadn't even picked a topic until last night? You bastard." And I made a new friend today, Nadia. She volunteered to work the camera so she was sitting right next to me. I think I like summer school, everyone's so much friendlier, I think. Or maybe just I am. Oh well. Catch you skids later. Give peace a chance.

KISS Party

Saturday, June 8, 2002

I made it home once again. I'm only going to be here until tomorrow morning. I'll probably leave shortly after my parents force me to go to church. I got to my house around 2. It only took me 3 hours even to get here, which is a new record for me because I usually don't speed but today I couldn't keep it under 85mph. I had excellent timing because I showed up to find the tilers just finishing up. Everything is in disarray and there's a thick layer of dust covering the entire house, but at least the floor is done. And I'll be gone before they start laying the new carpet, so no workers around while I'm here.

I am getting ready to go get ready to go to KISS Party. I'm really excited. I saw Music in High Places, some program on TV, and the star of it was The Calling. They were playing live and acoustic in Italy. It was really cool, so now I'm even more excited to see them in person. I'll let you all know how it is. And if I meet Michelle Branch, I'm going to have her call Ryan. Later.

Summer Place

Saturday, June 1, 2002

Well I am officially moved into my summer place. I am living with Ryan and Todd, you might remember them from my old friends pages. Incidentally, I'm thinking about bringing something similar to a Friends Page back. But instead, it would be a cast page. That way, when I blog about somebody, you could click on their name to view their vital stats so no one is ever left in the dark. Its such a good idea, and it eliminates all the politics of a friends page, since you would have to interact with me in a meaningful way in order to join the cast page, as opposed to just feeling like you deserve to be called my friend.

Anyway, I'm way off topic. Our new pad is totally sweet. Everyone thats in College Station for the summer should totally come check it out. Its down in Bryan right around Welborn and Villa Maria. I still need to get my computer and a bunch of other crap from over at Allison's but she's working right now so I'm not able. Once I get my computer hooked up here and we get our DSL rollin, I'll be back to updating the page once a day and getting a new Song of the Day.

On one other little note, my cell phone gets absolutely no signal anywhere near my house. I'm not sure why, I think the house is made of lead. But it doesn't work outside either. So if you need to get a hold of me, call my cell and leave a message. I will call you back as soon as I venture out. Or if you want you can email me and I'll send you our apt number. Aight, back to watching our new DirecTV. Boo yah.

College Station

Wednesday, May 29, 2002

Well, I made it. Here I am in sweet College Station hangin out with my good friend Allison. I thought I'd fill you all in on the recent events since Kevin didn't have internet ... whaddup with that? I stayed in San Antonio at Kevin's for 3 days. I had a lot of fun there. We didn't do a whole lot. We went bowling once, we shot pool for a couple hours, got drunk once, and I played NBA Street a LOT. Its my new favorite PS2 game and if I ever get some money, I'm totally gonna buy it cause i'm so damn good at this game.

My road tripping days are pretty much over. I've put about a 1000 miles on my car in the past week and a half, but I'm stickin here for like a week. Then I'm going home again for KISS Party. I can't wait, The Calling is the greatest band ever.

Check you have nots later.

The Skinny

Saturday, May 25, 2002

So here's the skinny. I've decided to leave Plano because I'm bored. Tomorrow morning I am heading to San Antonio to see Kevin. I haven't seen him in FOREVER so that should be tonz of fun. It's ONLY LIKE A 5 HOUR DRIVE, so I'm not skurred. Plus, the whole way is on I35, so whassup. I'm going to stay there until Tuesday or Wednesday and then I'm heading back to sweet home College Station.

I'm moving in with Ryan and Todd into their new duplex on the 30th. Classes start June 3rd. KISS party is June 8 (Does anyone want to go, btw ... Colleen got 3 tickets and only two of us are going. Let me know.) So thats my sched for now.

Is anyone even reading this? If you are, give me a shoutout sometime. Laaaaaaate.

Bored in Plano

Thursday, May 23, 2002

Well the dinner was a raging success. Everything turned out wonderful. Except for the fact that I was supposed to bake cookies but never got around to it. So I was supposed to bake cookies today but again didn't get around to it. I'm just lazy, I didn't feel like doing it. Maybe I will tomorrow when Allison gets here. She loves to bake.

Can I please tell you how bored I am to be in Plano. The only reason I don't go back to College Station like right now is that I know its not going to be much better there either. There's just not a damn thing to do all day long. And my dad has the AC programmed to go off during the day when no one's home ... nevermind the fact that I AM. Its so hot and boring. If anyone is in Plano and also bored, email me or IM me or use your detective stalker skills to find out my cell phone number and call me. I'm bored off my rocker.

Peace out, you have nots.

Home, sweet, home

Tuesday, May 21, 2002

I am back in one piece. I ended up spending an extra day in Oklahoma City. When my sister asked me to come visit her, I assumed it was going to be just to visit mostly. But since she was just moving into her new house, I ended up getting worked pretty hard. I brought some stools from my parents to her, but they were too tall for her little bar area. So I hacked off the bottom of the legs and attached little foam pads to them. They ended up being the perfect height. Then I treated her whole floor with Murphy's oil since she has hardwood floors throughout the house. Then we randomly decided to sponge paint her whole kitchen and dining room area. I felt very Trading Spaces. I had to stay an extra day to finish up the painting. I'm exhausted now. I just wanna lay around for a while.

Tonight I really wanna see Star Wars but I can't find anyone in this town to go with me. So if you're in Plano and want to go see Star Wars tonight give me a call on my cell. Check you cats later.

Oklahoma

Sunday, May 19, 2002

Well, in a random act of spontaneity (is that redundant?) I've decided to go to the most exciting state in the Union, Oklahoma! My sister called last night and I talked to her for a little while and she said, "When are you going to come visit us [her and her husband] and see our new house?" To which I replied, "How about tomorrow?" So I have my little bag packed and I'm leaving as soon as I get done typing this to go to somewhere near downtown OKC. I dunno why, I'm just gonna be put to work as soon as I get there cause they're still in the process of moving.

Alas, it will give me a little bit of a change from the rut I've already managed to get myself into in Plano. This town is so BORING. My god, I can't wait to get back to CS, I just wish I had a place to live. Whoo ahhhh, see you cats later.

Home, Sweet Home

Friday, May 17, 2002

Hello everyone. So good to see you again. As I type this, I am sitting in my parents' room on their computer. I made it home alive. I ended up leaving College Station around 1pm because me and Allison (that makes 6) stayed up late drinking wine and watching Sex and the City season 2. It was a fabulous time. I made one stop in Fairfield to grab something to eat at the Jack in the Box there. Traffic thru Dallas was fucking awful, but I finally made it. I think my mother is ordering in pizza ... so much for that homecooked meal.

I haven't decided what I want to do first whilst in Plano. My brother is coming in tonight with his wife. I could hang out and wait for them, but I think instead I'll call some peeps and see whats goin down in P-town. I'm sure I'll be ultra bored soon, but for now I need to unload my car. Adios, you have nots I will catch you on the flip side.

No more DSL

Wednesday, May 15, 2002

God, I am so sick of moving. I have like two more car loads and this place will be deserted. I just keep taking car loads to the storage unit and the pile I need to take out isn't diminishing. I am moving everything over to Allison's tonight because the damn storage unit closes at 9pm and I want to be out of this apartment tonight so I don't have to worry about it and can check out. But tonight I am unplugging my computer which means no more being online 24/7. If you need to get ahold of me, email me and ask me for my cell phone number.

I am going to leave on Thursday for Plano and will be there until the 30th. Thats the plan anyway, I may come home to CS sooner than that.

Tomorrow I am meeting with Dr. O■■■, the professor who owned me last semester. I seem to have gotten a D in his class and I'm not quite sure why. I'm also wanting to do his webpage next semester so we already had a meeting set up. So I get to go talk to him about that and then slip in there about why I got a D. While a D is certainly passing, it sure as hell doesn't count to get me to the next round of classes, and it will royally screw my career plan if I have to take this course over again. So we'll see. I'm in the worst mood right now. And while I won't be online as much, I am going to try to update the page at least every 3 days. So do keep checking back. Thanks and gig this.

Moving Day

Tuesday, May 14, 2002

Today is the day that I move everything I own into a storage unit. I'm going to stay in College Station until Thursday just chillin. I'm also taking care of my friend Clay's birds and fish and he's getting back Thursday. I was thinking that I'd stay in Plano for a good while, but now Allison had a revelation and canceled her summer school to support herself in College Station. I still have some people to see and hang out with in Plano but there's a chance I won't be staying as long as I had planned. Plus, my parents are having new carpet and tile put in. I don't remember exactly when that's happening but I will definitely be gone for that.

There isn't much else to say, I have been such a waste of space this past week. But I think I deserved it. I did add the 'Song of the Day' to the left there. Click it to download and listen to whatever song I happen to be obsessing over at this very moment. The title 'of the Day' may be a big seficious since I'll be damned if I'm updating it every day. I may rig up some JavaScript to rotate it or something, but for now, just check out Strange Relationship. Its pretty cool. I think its the guy from Savage Garden. I suppose I could look up his name and see if its Darren Hayes, but it sounds like him so that's why I think it. Aight kiddos, time to load up the truck.
There is no spoon.

Moving out

Saturday, May 11, 2002

Four days left for me to be in my apartment. I think today I'll start making trips over to the storage unit with everything I can carry myself. Keith & Family are in his room right now getting the last of his things and taking him home. Allison's away message says she's packing to go home today too. So sad, everyone's leaving. Oh well, I'll be gone soon too.

I should be getting to Plano like Thursday I think. I'm just gonna chill while I'm there. I'm gonna watch TV and let my mom cook for me. It'll be great. There are some people I need to see, but I'm just gonna let that happen of its own accord. Then summer school starts June 3 so I'll be back in College Station on May 30 to help Ryan and Todd move into their new duplex, where I'll be staying for the duration of summer school. Then, of course, its back to Plano for KISS Party on June 8 where I'll be seeing The Calling. Whoo hoo. So that's the layout for this summer. Whenever my schedule coincides with yours, you best be callin on me. Holla!

Update

Sunday, May 5, 2002

Well, not much has changed IRL, but as far as my website goes, some things are new. I'm kind of trying to tweak the site and try some things out in anticipation of the new site I've got planned. If everything goes as I've planned it should be really cool, I think you'll all enjoy it a whole lot.

Okay, so some changes that I've made. For one, there's a calendar there to the left. Theoretically, it should allow you to view a blog from whatever day you choose to click on. However, right now all it allows you to do is view the comments that were posted on that day. It was giving me a headache earlier today so I decided to scrap that and read some more (my book is so good).

Another change is on the webcam page. Shout outs to Burns who figured out for me how to automatically refresh a page. So now, provided my webcam(s) is on, you can just sit back and watch me, having the page refresh for you automatically every 30 seconds. Pretty cool stuff, I'm definitely going to need to exploit that at a later date.

Anyway, tomorrow its time to start studying for finals. I have one at 8am on Monday and another at 1pm on Wednesday, and then, my friend, school is ovah! Whoop! Late.

Shelters of Stone

Saturday, May 4, 2002

Well the weekend is upon us. I'm not drinking or being crazy this weekend though. Not so much because I don't have the time to do it, but I don't want to be hungover when I suddenly get my second wind and decide to study. I spent last night at home curled up with a good book.

Yes my friends, Shelters of Stone, the fifth installment in the Earth's Children series by Jean M. Auel (author of Clan of the Cave Bear) has finally arrived. I've been waiting for this book to come out since the sixth grade. I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself. I'm on Chapter 5 now and its been really good so far. The only downside is that I've read the first four books (Clan of the Cave Bear, Valley of Horses, Mammoth Hunters, Plains of Passage) each 13 times. Now this fifth book is just in its infancy. Its gonna take a while to even out the playing field. I may like it so much that I just start it right back over as soon as I finish it. Thats been known to happen. Surprised, anyone?

I had a great new idea for the new SideshoViD.com. Not that one was planned, but I had a great idea so now I'm planning one. This new one will be less red, and more me. There's some equipment and preparation I need to do first though. Unfortunately I'm not quite sure how to do it. But if anyone has a digital camera they can loan me for a while, that would help a little. Lets just put it this way: Some very exciting things are happening at SideshoViD.com. Stick around to see what they are!

Oh and vote in the new poll (bout damn time).

Haitus

Friday, April 19, 2002

My apologies for the blog haitus. Most of them extended toward Allison who, against her morals, went to my site TWICE and didn't find a new blog. Well, Allison, my name is Zoon and I live on the moon, and I'm here to give you a blog. And without further adieu...

Not much new. Sorry, rather anticlimactic, I know. I've been working a lot on school and usually just don't feel like sharing boring information with you all. Oh, I do have one story though.

On Wednesday, I went to campus for open lab hours (5-9) and afterward I didn't feel like riding the bus home. So I was gonna call Keith to pick me up but he was, unbeknownst to me despite constant reminders, at the Tenacious D concert in Houston. So I ended up sitting on the benches waiting for him to pick up for like an hour. I started bitching about being stranded so this girl that I'd just met turns to her friend, whom I'd just met, and says, "Wanna go with me to take Gilligan home?" To which another guy responds "Hey, you didn't ask me if I wanted to go!" Long story short, 3 semi-random complete strangers are getting up for the expressed purpose of taking my ass home.

But the story doesn't end there. When we get to the car, this girl hands me her keys and says "It'd probably be faster if you just drove." I said, "You don't even know me." She replied, "Well you know how to drive don't you?" So in the end, I drove myself home in a car that wasn't mine with 3 people I didn't know. When I got to my apartment I just hopped out, said thanks, and went inside. It was odd, but fun in a way. There aren't many opportunities to be spontaneous in circuit design, y'know what I mean. It was a nice vacation from the norm. Anyway, tonight I'm going to Allison's to drink the bubbly and I'll see you cats laaaaater.

New Scrollbars

Wednesday, April 17, 2002

If you'll look to the right you'll notice a new scroll bar. I have to thank both Slim Jim for pointing out the problem, and Burns for solving the problem. My old scrollbars had some error on it. I never cared cause it doesn't pop a window on my browser, but Slim's asked him to debug the error every time he visted the page. Sorry to anyone else who experienced this problem.

This morning I got up at 8 for my 8 o'clock. Yeah, I know, I missed it. Oh well, it was probably pointless. I hate that class and the bitch who teaches it. I took a test at 9:10. We get a notecard for these tests, which I think makes it ridiculously easy but people keep failing so I don't open my mouth. This test was really easy except one of the things we needed to prove wasn't exactly true, so everyone was confused. But as long as everyone was confused then we can get him to throw it out.

One last thing, who was that left that last comment on my page for Tuesday? Send me an IM cause I can't for the life of me figure out who it was, though they had a good point. Sorry Joseph. Hahaha. LAAAAATE.

Tonix

Sunday, April 14, 2002

Fuckin' A did I have a good time last night. Ryan and Todd convinced me to go clubbing with them, which, if you know me, you know I hate to do. I'm more of a stay at home and chill kind of person, so you'd be hard pressed to get my ass in a club. But Todd laid one of his guilt trips so I said I'd go, but promised that I would embarass him. So me and Keith set out to coming up with a character for me to be.

I started by shaving my week's worth of stubble into a respectable mustache. I liked the look it gave me, but it was decidedly white-trash. So next I worked on the hair. I ended up with it all greased back with way too much gel in it. I left a curl down in front though for that special 'fuckin a' touch. We experimented with a bunch of different outfits but were having a hard time getting something to perfectly match the hair. Keith, being the kind soul he is, donated his Harley Davidson tshirt to the cause. I promptly cut the sleeves off. We finished out with black sketchers and a pair of jeans with my big shiny belt buckle. Oh yeah, and a white wristband on my right arm.

Now this alone was pretty funny, but it wasn't until Keith went out to his car and brought me back a pair of aviator sunglasses that I really slipped into character. It was a priceless look, dead on white trash. And I went to Tonix like that, and it was awesome. A few shots later I was on the dance floor and didn't go to bed until the wee hours of the morn. I leave you today with these short words of wisdom, "Talk shit, get hit. Whoooweee"

Ear Candling

Monday, April 8, 2002

To start this blog, let me explain a process to you. Its kind of strange, so try to keep up. First, a person lays down on the ground and covers their face and hair with a wet towel. Next, a hollow tube of wax about a foot long is inserted into the ear. Once it is comfortably seated in the ear, with a helper holding it in place, the opposite end of the tube is lit on fire. As it burns down, a third person makes sure the ashes fall into a bowl of water. When the tube has burned down to about 4" long, it is removed from the ear and extinguished. The process is called "Ear candling."

Why on earth would I be telling you about this, you may be asking right now. In short, because thats what I did on Saturday night. I was over at Allison's with Katie and Kelley and I brought some ear candles with me. Its supposed to be really soothing, so we turned down the lights and lit some candles and stuff. And the instructions come with a step by step process for a face massage. So we really got into it. Once we started going though, it turned out to be more humorous than relaxing. It was an odd sensation and it clogged my left ear for like 2 days, but they're back to normal now. If you would like to learn more about the process, you can visit Wally's All Natural Supplements for Your Health.

Keith is now standing in my room in his workout clothes being a bitch and hurrying me along, so that's where the story will have to end. I guess I'll fill you all in on the rest of the goings on at a later time.
End of line.

Crazy Friday

Saturday, April 6, 2002

What a crazy and fun Friday night. That's how they should all be. The evening began at Fazoli's with Keith to get some dinner. I had the lasagna with broccoli. It looked gross but tasted great. The breadstick girl gave me attitude because I made fun of her for flirting with Keith. I was chewing on a lemon and she came by to tell me that she used to eat lemons when she was little. So I said, "Yeah, well I used to be fat when I was little." No I'm kidding, but that's what the old immature me would have said. I didn't really retaliate except by making her throw my trash away.

After I was fetted and full, I went to Ryan and Todd's to commence the binge drinking session. We played 6-Cup, our favorite drinking game. Its a lot like Power Hour in that you don't ever have to really drink all that much at once, but after you've been playing a while, it hits you pretty hard. I was playing with Ryan, Todd, David, and Joseph. Sometime around 3am everyone started passing out, but me and Joseph were still wide awake. I got a call from Allison telling me she was at a killer party and that I should stop by. So I called Keith and had him drive me and Joseph over to Allisons.

When we got there, there was no alcohol except for some Skyy drinks that belonged to some girl. So we drank those, but we weren't supposed to so we had to disguise the fact that we were drinking these bright blue bottles. I put mine in a Keebler's Crackers box, and Joseph hid his in a neon yellow fanny pack. Soon after we got there, everyone started going home or passing out, which sucked. We could have passed out on the floor of Allison's duplex, but I really wanted my bed and Joseph was gonna sleep on my couch. There was only one way to make it home though ... and that was to walk.

For those of you who are familiar with College Station, we walked from Welsh & Southwest Pkwy to Texas & Holleman. Its pretty damn far and it was a little chilly. We ran into one guy who was sitting on his porch smoking a cigarette so we stopped and had a smoke with him. I don't remember if he was cool, but we'll just say he was. By then it was probably around 4am. We happened to be walking right by Leslie's apartment, and despite the fact I hardly ever talk to her anymore, I decided I would like to see her so I called her cell phone. She didn't answer but I left a message that said "Hey it's David. I'm just about to walk by your apartment and thought I'd stop by but you must be sleeping," And we continued on.

A couple minutes later, we're a ways down the sidewalk and I hear this faint "DAAAAAVIIIIID!" Turns out Leslie had just listened to my message, so I yelled back and ran back to her apartment. We stopped in there and chilled for a while though all we had to drink was water, since we were a bit parched from the walk. I saw this guy I went to school with from like K-8 grade and he didn't remember me which offended me. I mean, I probably haven't seen him in like 8 years, but still. I remember everyone from my elementary school. Well, around 4:30, I think, we left Leslies to finish off the walk home.

When we got back to my apartment, we made some Easy Mac and drank a bunch of water. Keith came home and was enjoying our drunken antics as Joseph tried to make some tuna concoction to eat. It was pretty funny. I think we went to bed around 5 or 5:30am.

To sum up the evening, it was exactly "how I do." Every Friday night should be as adventurous. I woke up around 2:30 today and went to Wal-Mart with Allison and Keith. I didn't buy anything, but we did stop by GNC and get some of those candles that you burn in your ears. Its odd, look 'em up, I'll let you know if they work. Oh, also, in Wal-Mart I kicked a ball into this toddler's face. It was hilarious. Tonight I'm gonna go to Allison's to eat lasagna and watch Life as a House, which is an EXCELLENT movie. So, I'll catch you kids later. Excelsior!

Weekend

Friday, April 5, 2002

Friday again, FINALLY. I need this Friday like the crops need rain. This has been a stressful but productive week. I was really stressed about that microcontroller, so I dedicated this week to getting as much done on it as we could as a team. I was really proud of everyone, we made some great progress on some stuff. Hopefully we'll get on track if we apply ourselves like this for the next 4 weeks. But if that happens, you KNOW i'm gonna be waaaasted on Friday night. Its just one of those things I need to do.

Next week doesn't look too bad. I've got a couple tests, and one of them is in the class that consumes my life, but it hopefully shouldn't be too bad. We'll find out more about whats on it on Tuesday. I have a circuit analysis test coming up soon, but that's gonna be an easy hundred. I've been paying attention in class just to ensure that fact. Other than that I haven't had a chance to do much. I'm pretty sure I'm going to Ryan and Todd's tomorrow to drink, like always. Lord knows I don't have anything or anyone better to do on a Friday night. Not a soul worth the least bit of my attention. Certainly, though, if you would like to join me, let me know. I doubt they'll mind.

I call Thompson home

Wednesday, April 3, 2002

Wow, does school suck or what? Can I get an, "AMEN?" My tech writing teacher seems to think we are all REALLY interested in what she has to say. I always thought she was really obnoxious and prepared these little lectures for every day, but today I had my book out studying for a quiz, and realized that EVERYthing she says is straight from our text book. She follows the headings and bullets, even her little side comments ... all right from the text. What a lazy bitch in a pantsuit.

Other than that, the class that consumes my life is consuming my life even more. And it probably will until the end of the semester. We have like 2 weeks to get every component working and then like 2 weeks to integrate it all into one thing. Just to give you a small taste of what has to be done here's a little break down:

baud rate generator
transmitter
receiver
SCCR, SCSR, and UART integration with loopback mode enable
parallel port
addressing unit
data unit
CPU control with final integration of everything

Basically we're fucked. Ah well, it'll be a lot easier when I take it over next semester. Ugh.

A day later

Monday, April 1, 2002

Thanks to everyone who has come to my new site in the past day and either left me a comment, voted 5 stars (you bastards), or IMed me to tell me about the site. Although most of you said the red was too much, the binary numbers were obnoxious and my hair looked stupid. My viewers are so damn critical, but I guess that's cause they've come to expect so much from me.

There is something new, that I'm sure I told most of you about 3 times already. The webcam section now has dualing webcams. You can stare at my sweet ass from two different angles. Let's hope Keith doesn't mind that I stole the camera from him that he's had in the box for like a month now. I'm actually sitting around waiting for him to get back in town so we can go eat. I called him at like 11 and told him to start driving home cause I wanted to go to Taco Cabana. I guess he did too cause he started on his way here. He should be here in like a half hour. He needs to hurry cause i'm about to raid that bag of Lay's. Anyway, peace out you have nots ... and keep your hands to yourselves.

Version 3

Sunday, March 31, 2002

Well, here it is ... SideshoViD.com version 3. I'm so excited. I am really happy with the way it turned out. Be sure to vote in the poll for how you think this page relates to SideshoViD.com's of the past. Also, the pics, bio, links and webcam are basically the same, but please check out the downloads cause i made all new buddy icons. Also, leave me a comment, that would be so awesome. Alright, you guys, its 5 oclock in the morning, I've been working on this site for like 16 hours just today. Its way past time for me to catch some shut eye. Hope you like the new site!

American Pasttime

Thursday, March 28, 2002

3 Day Weekend. Ah, the old American pasttime. Ain't nothing like it. Big shout outs to Jebus for bringin' us the Good Friday holiday. Tonight I'm just going to relax. And naturally, by "relax" I mean "get drunk." Tonight's festivities will commence around 7 with watching some Friends. Allison's getting some wine for us, since we're all wino's now. From there, I'm gonna go to Ryan and Todd's and play some 6-cup.

Tomorrow I'm planning on being productive since no one will be in town. Everyone I know is going to home to celebrate the resurrection and eternal life of their lord and savior Jebus Christ by finding chocolate eggs left in the night by an enormous bunny rabbit (circa Bill Hicks). That should give me some time to get caught up on school and just chill in the apartment by myself ... something I don't get to do nearly enough.

Anyway, if you are staying in town, be sure to give me a call cause I'll have lots of free time and no one to spend it with. On a footnote, thanks to everyone who has already written me in for senior yell leader. If you haven't already, be sure to go to http://vote.tamu.edu and write me in. Thanks and gig this.

12 Hours to Save Them All

Tuesday, March 26, 2002

First, let me apologize to Joseph for not blogging recently. There have been a couple factors keeping me away from the ol' Grey Matter. First was school. I recently decided that I am behind, and consistently not getting my work done. How could this be? Time management ... or lack thereof. So I came up with a simple solution. On Mondays I get out of class at noon, and generally go to bed at midnight. That is 12 solid hours with which to accomplish all my goals.

While I did not accomplish everything on my To-Do List, I got a big chunk of it done. Tomorrow I have a Circuit Analysis Test and Thursday I have an Economics test. Neither of these should be too hard, but they will require some studying. Basically, I'm set on "GO MODE" for the rest of the week, and then probably will reset to "DRINK MODE" this weekend. We'll see, I may use the 3 days to get ahead. Hahahaha.

The second factor keeping me from the blog is SVCv3. For those of you not up to date on my lingo, that stands for SideshoViD.com version 3. Yeah, I've begun work on it. Initially, I'm pleased, but I'm probably a good 40 manhours away from releasing it, so no telling when it'll be done. I will keep you updated. PLH.

Moore Hall Nati Light

Sunday, March 24, 2002

Moore Hall, Nati Light, put 'em together, what a hell of a night! That was pretty much the theme of my night last night. First I went to Allison's and it was her friend Scott's 21st birthday. They were going to Salty Dog and I didn't feel like going, so I called Keith to find out what he was doing. He picked me up and we went to a Moses party. Burns rode with us, and when we got there, the whole gang was there -- Slim Jim, Maddou, Schu, John, Marcellus, Kevin. Well the cops busted that up pretty soon after we got there, so Keith and I left.

Then we went over to another Moore Hall-ish party. It was over at Blinkie and Grover's pad and all the big names were there -- Cody, Jay, Horatio, Bread, Tye, Humpty. Naturally, we played the Lean-Fro song from the original parchment that we made a year ago outside of G Rollie. In short, Gilligan was resurrected for a night, and it was fun. Moore Hall Truckers, Bad Mother Fuckers ... whoop.

DAVID FOR SR. YELL

Friday, March 22, 2002

WRITE IN DAVID F■■■■ FOR SENIOR YELL! Howdy-dee Ags, got a little campaign update for you. This are going really well, the support I've felt has been incredible. I never expected to be so popular a candidate. If you look to your left, you'll see my new campaign poster. You have to put your mouse over it to see the rest of the image. That's my campaign slogan, "GIG THIS" and it is accompanied by a lude thumbs down toward the crotch. If you see your friends on campus, give them a friendly "GIG THIS."

Also, thanks to everyone who has placed a link to my website (which is fast becoming campaign headquarters). Especially CalfRoper777. If you would like to support my campaign on your website, please cut and paste the following code into your site:

<a href="http://www.sideshovid.com"><img src="http://www.sideshovid.com/main_election.gif" width=234 height=302 border=0 alt="WRITE IN DAVID F■■■■ FOR SENIOR YELL!"></a>

If you would like to help but don't have a website (or even if you do) here's what I'm asking everyone to do. Anytime another candidate or their supporters campaigns to you, ie tries to give you a flier, yells at you across campus, has a sign on their car or even shoe polish, if they're wearing a tshirt or have a button on their bag ... give them a big THUMBS DOWN.

Thanks, and GIG THIS!

Roommate search

Thursday, March 21, 2002

So Keith had a good idea last night. We are looking for a third roommate to move into a duplex over on Dexter and he suggested I advertise that on my webpage. So if you are looking for two roommates, are not psycho and would be interested in paying $350/mo for a duplex on Dexter, please IM me or email me and let me know. Serious inquiries only please :)

Other than that, school's been kicking my ass, but its all good. Tonight is Thursday, I'm just gonna relax, and I might, JUST might, take a Day-O-Fun tomorrow since I only have one class, but I don't want to get back into that habit. We'll see. LAAAATE

Another lazy day

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

I know all of you have been waiting on the edge of your seats for the result of my ENTC249 test. Alas, I did not make a 100. I did, however, make a 99. He took off one point on my diagram of the UART because I didn't box in the components of the Baud Rate Generator and label them as a whole. He didn't take off for that on anyone else's test but mine. I think he's just too proud to give a 100 even though I knew EVERYTHING. I am the smartest man alive.

I am so exhausted. I woke my happy ass up at 8am this morning for lab, and then worked on the crossword and Econ homework for a long time. Then I went and sat outside Moore on the benches like old times for a while. Then I had class, then important TV, and now its 1am and I'm about to start working on a resume for Tech Writing. I haven't even looked at the assignment. I hope I get to sleep tonight. Maybe not. I'll keep you posted. Over and out.

Home at last

Sunday, March 17, 2002

I am finally back in College Station. I woke up this morning around 4:30am (California time) to leave for the airport in San Francisco. I think we got into Dallas around 4:00 CST. Then I hopped in the car and set out for Aggieland. Being stuck in traffic for over an hour extended my car trip to 4 and a half hours. I am so sick of travelling. And I have a migraine now, but anyway...

My week was fun. I went to San Francisco with my parents. We spent 2 days there doing the whole tourist thing. We went to Fisherman's Wharf, Alcatraz, Coit Tower, rode the trolley car, drove over the Golden Gate, etc, etc. Then we went to Sacramento to visit my brother. There we went to one of his softball and one of his soccer games. We also went wine tasting, but I was the DD.

All in all the week was a little more hectic than I prefer. But it was really fun. If you need more detail than this, you can always IM me. Now let's play a little game. Everyone who cares to share, Post a Comment on this blog and give us a little soundbite about how your Spring Break went.

Fare thee well

Monday, March 11, 2002

Sadly, I don't have a lot to update you on. I think Plano exists directly under an anomaly in the space-time continuum which allows time to move at like a third the rate it does everywhere else.

But that will all change soon because I am leaving for San Francisco at around 6:30am tomorrow. Well, thats when we're leaving for the airport. We're taking off at like 10:30 and landing around 11. Time zones are so weird. It should be fun, and you, the loyal Sidesho-Viewer, will be the first to hear about it.

In the meantime, I've been hanging out at the mall. I got the new Kylie Minogue CD. It's pretty good, I haven't listened to the whole thing yet. That's what road trips are for. I have also seen some of my P-town friends. I went to Martinez Cafe with Ryan tonight, just like we used to EVERY day in high school. It was fun. I won't be posting for a couple days, but you can still visit my page if you like. Laaaaate.

I’m alive

Saturday, March 9, 2002

This is just a quick message to those of you who are concerned. I'm in Plano now. I made it home alive. The drive was rather uneventful, even though it was so damn windy that i had to drive with two hands on the wheel the entire way to avoid being blown off the road. I'm sure I'll be blogging in the next couple of days since I've been here for 30 minutes and I'm already bored. Til then...

Spring Break, BABY

Friday, March 8, 2002

Well, Spring Break is officially here for yours truly. I had one quiz this morning that I think I aced and now I'm home. I got up early, got dressed, went to campus, and class was like 20 minutes long. That's alright though, I almost prefer it that way.

I have a shitload to do today before I leave for P-town tomorrow. I've gotta do ALL of my laundry. I typically do laundry 2 maybe 3 times a semester. So when I do its a massive undertaking. Then I'm going to go tanning and possibly work out. I can tan while I do laundry though cause I do it at Harvey Gangbangers. Then I've got to drive out and get some leasing information on a duplex for next year. Sometime today I've got to clean the apartment. I think thats about it. But still, its a full plate.

I decided to take my computer home with me so I can do some work during the 3 days I'll be in town. I still have a lot left to do for some classes, which sucks, but oh well. I figure I'll be bored enough at home to maybe try to get something accomplished. We'll see. I hope everyone has a great Spring Break, and stays safe and drunk. Laaaaate.

Soon enough, my friends

Thursday, March 7, 2002

Sooo close to Spring Break. I can't wait. I don't know if I ever blogged about my plans, so I will now. I'm going home on Saturday to good ol' Plano. Then I'm gonna hang out there for a few days and see some people. Then on Tuesday it's off to California to see my brother, Michael. He just recently got engaged, as you well know, and I've never been to Cali, much less seen his place so it should be fun. Plus its completely free. Thats the best part of it.

I finally posted some new pictures in on the Pics section. Its been a while since I promised I would. All of them are from over Christmas when my brother, Stephen got married. I think they're all pretty good. I'll probably add captions some day, but not today. Other than that, not much has happened. Keep up the good work, kiddos.

Bonzi Buddy

Wednesday, March 6, 2002

Have you guys seen this shit? Its called a BonziBuddy, and its the most obnoxious thing on the internet. But for some reason, that I honestly can't discern, I love it. You download this little purple monkey, and he sits on top of everything you do, and randomly starts talking in this computer generated voice telling you jokes and interesting facts. I think the only reason that I can put up with him is that I programmed in my name was "Master" so every time he talks to me, I have to smile. Cause I do love having my computer call me Master. And my computer already says, outloud, the name of whoever signs onto my buddy list, so it might as well be forming sentences. Anyway, I just had to share my BonziBuddy with everyone, cause he's too cool.

On a different subject, my brother Michael got engaged last weekend to his girlfriend, Krista. I just wanted to congratulate them on that. They think the wedding will be in about 6 months. That's all. Power to the people.

Its not worth it

Tuesday, March 5, 2002

Man, I just got out of my 8:00 lab today for Circuit Analysis. Our prof dropped by to show us our averages. I have a 99 test average and a 73 average in the class. Now that takes skill. I am doing so well in all my classes, but it isn't worth jack because they all give us immense amounts of daily work, quizzes, homework, and labs until exams aren't worth shit. It pisses me off. If I'm acin tests I should get an automatic A.

But I did have one lab on there that was a 0 and should have been a 100, that will help some, but not a lot since I have two other zeroes on labs and 2 zeroes on quizzes. Ugh, I despise these little daily grades. It's so high school.

I also want to make a shout out to Pho John. If you guys in College Station haven't tried Pho John's Vietnamese Noodle Soup out on Texas Ave by the new Petsmart, you need to get out there stat. I am addicted to the stuff. Its so damn good. Aight, peace.

Recovery Day

Sunday, March 3, 2002

Well, as was expected, last night was crazy. There was a massive amount of alcohol consumed. We started off gathering at Allison's duplex. Everyone that was going rode in two cars. It was Allison, me, Katie, Jeffrey, Christine, Ed, DVL, Pool, Virant and some chick named Coony.

We started off at Cheyney's party drinkin some beers. But it was still relatively early, like 8:00, so the party was not hopping, to put it mildly. So we decided to head to Northgate so Al could order herself some shots. We started at Fitzwillies, then went to Hole in the Wall. Allison headed to the Dry Bean Saloon before coming to Hole in the Wall. Then she took a little trip to the Crooked Path while we were there. Needless to say she had a whole lot of shots in a minimal amount of time.

So we decide that we need more to drink. But I hate drinking at bars, although I managed to surpress that and polish off a good third of a pitcher at Hole in the Wall. So we all go back to Cheyney's and hang out for a good while. By then the party was rocking. There are lots of funny stories, but not really any that I feel like posting on this webpage. If you wanna know them you can IM me.

The night ended ... well, wait, I don't really remember that. I know that we all accomplished our goals of getting real real drunk. And I had a most excellent time. Can't wait to do it again next year (or weekend).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLISON

Saturday, March 2, 2002

ATTENTION: Today is Allison's birthday. I've probably shut down the entire site in reverence of the occasion, but just in case I didn't get around to it, be sure to tell her happy birthday. She's 21 and will be buying me lots and lots of drinks tonight. WHOO HOO.

Ace in the hole

Thursday, February 28, 2002

I know I said I didn't want to get cocky, but the time for being cocky has arrived. I am so certain I aced that test. I normally don't say that because then I make 50's, but I had so much time to check it over that I'm certain its 100% correct. In fact, I even told my professor, Dr. O■■■, afterwards that I'd bet him a soda I aced it. He said if I made a 100, we'd talk. Boo yah.

On a 'side' note, you'll see the new Sidesho-Pic to the side here. There's no deeper meaning. Its just the amalgamation of my webpage and the Matrix. Its COOL. Why don't you people get it?

Miss Cleo says

Thursday, February 28, 2002

Heyo, this blog right now is only to post my predictions for tomorrow. (It might be fun to see how my attitude changes in about 16 hours.) I have this big test in ENTC249, or as I've dubbed it, "The Class That Consumes My Life." Anyway, I'm kind of confident in it, but I don't want to get cocky. I've gone over everything like 10 times. So I'm gonna call it right here, right now, for all of you to bear witness.

I will make an A on my ENTC249 test.

Late Night

Wednesday, February 27, 2002

Man, its going to be another late night. I am such a procrastinator. Tonight's late night is brought to you by the letters ENGL and the numbers 210. I have to do an audience profile on the job that I'm going to be "applying" for. I was supposed to have already turned in the job advertisement I'm going to use, I just found out, so I went on Monster.com and found some web designing position for Travelocity.com. I like to use computer based subjects for my papers because its easier to bullshit since my prof doesn't know anything about the internet, I've gathered. My last memo proposal about creating a new layout for the company website got me an 82 cause she couldn't tell that 80% of what I said didn't even make any sense. Ah the perks of random jargon. Hopefully I can churn this out in about 30 minutes and be in bed by 2am. I have class tomorrow at 8, and then at 9:10. Then I have an Intel Training course from 12:40 to 2:40. Then I'm meeting with Bob to teach him more about making a website (the prof I'm working for now). Then I have like an hour or two to chill before open lab hours start for ENTC249 (the class that consumes my life). On the plus side though, I've reassessed our progress and decided that my team is ahead of schedule. Thats a first and it feels good. I hate to be an asshole, but every time I hear another team bitching about not having something done, it makes me feel really really good ... provided we have ours working. Oh well, I suppose I've stalled long enough, time to start working.

On a side note, everyone click here to send Steve a shoutout. Today is his 20th birthday, and I just know he'd love to have some well wishes from loyal Sidesho-Viewers. Thanks!

Brrr

Tuesday, February 26, 2002

Hey, thanks for all the great comments yesterday *makes masturbatorial motion* Anywho, some people grasped the concept, the rest of you, I'll have to have a talkin to. So, to everyone in Aggieland, is it fucking cold enough for you today? My God, I don't know what the temperature is, but the wind chill must be below freezing. I wasn't wearing a single article of clothing today that could block the wind. Today sucks. And I have to go back out in it in a couple of hours. I'm gonna maybe take a nap or watch some TV for a couple minutes. Then I'm gonna go get Lisa Loeb's new album. It's gonna be most excellent. If you want to hear her new single, Someone You Should Know, on Real Player, you can click there. Then I'm gonna go get some tickets for me and Keith to Thursday's showing of The Vagina Monologues. Then its off to class for the rest of the day. It should be a fun and exciting, albeit subfreezing, day.