Australia is mentioned in 11 posts. It is most often associated with these...

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I am home again. After another full day of travel I finally landed back in Dallas a whole 3 hours earlier than I was supposed to. As was the theme of the traveling this time, my original flight home was canceled by the time I was ready to get on it. I got to see Daniel and I gave him his new pants (underwear) and lounge pants (pajama pants) from Peter Alexander, a poncy (fancy) little underwear shop in downtown Sydney. He looks awful smart in them. And my brother was in town for his last day of a business conference, so he took me to Kenny's! What a welcome home!

During my last week in Sydney, Al and I had some fun adventures. First we both went to get our hair did. I love the chick that cut my hair. She went to town on it. Allison called it classic Aussie metro. Then she got her hair dyed back to her natural color and got a real sassy short do. She's traveling for the next 13 months through lots of countries that don't appreciate blondes to any degree, so this haircut should last her through it. After we got all dolled up, we went to Al's leaving do (party) at the Fire House Hotel (pub (bar)) in North Sydney. She has lots of wonderful friends. But it was weird how they want back and forth and around the table and every single one of them was like "Well, it's just like when I lived in the UK for 6 months prior to my year of traveling around southeast Asia." And another would chime in, "Oh yeah, when I lived in the Carribean, I spent a year touring before I got my residency in Australia." And I'm just like who are you transient people? All of them have been all over the world, lived all over the world, and I'm just like Addison! rules!

But it was a really fun party. Two of the girls were especially fun and they called Daniel early in the morning while he was at work and tried to convince him they were Kylie and Danni Minogue. Even tho the accents were pretty authentic, he didn't fall for it. Shucks.

My last day there we took a guided tour of the Hunter Valley (the Aussie Napa Valley). We went to like 5 or 6 different cellar doors and drank some very good wine. I ended up buying 4 bottles, I think, but we drank some before I left. I brought home 3 bottles and some aged goat cheese from some Hunter Valley goats. So ridiculously good. And the Shiraz is just ... huge. I can't even explain it. That was major fun. So we did that, picked up Noodle Star take away (to go) and ate it with the shiraz. And then the next day I left.

So here I am. I do not work until next Tuesday, nor do I intend to check my work email or answer my work phone until then. So if anybody wants to hang out and tan or something, let me know. It's summer again for me and I intend to take advantage this week. Laaaaaaaaate.

They say you don't know a city until you walk it. "They" being the one and only travel book I've ever read that was left here for me by Erin and Jezza. So when Allison needed a day to herself to get some stuff accomplished, I decided to set out on foot. Armed with only a basic layout map of the city, I set out heading south. Allison lives in North Sydney and I wanted to go to South Sydney, the separation being the harbour. So I got to walk over the Harbour Bridge. That was one of my goals before leaving. It only took me about 45 minutes to get to Circular Quay where the Operahouse and all the touristy stuff is. My original plan was then to figure out the bus system and see the rest of the city. But I am just not cut out for buses. The first one I wanted flew by because I didn't know you had to flag them down. And the only other one I tried the guy yelled at me because he wasn't going where I wanted to go. So I was like fuck that and hopped in a cab.

He took me down to Oxford Street in Paddington. It's where all the fancy boutique shopping is. I walked up and down the street, stopped to have some lunch, but never really shopped. Everything was really expensive but not necessarily Aussie by nature. And if I ever feel like purchasing some expensive clothes, I can just do that in Dallas when I don't have to carry it through customs. So then at the complete opposite end of Oxford Street are all the gay bars, so I decided to just hoof it over there and check it out. And then Hyde Park was just on the other side, so I walked through there. And then Circular Quay was just up the street from there. And then just over the bridge. So I ended up walking an obscene distance, nearly 5 hours of walking minus the cab ride. But it's true what they say, I totally feel like I know the city now.

That night Allison and I revisited Oxford Street and got shitcanned. But on the way I told her, "Yeah I found a couple nice places we could go to. But it seems like all the places I thought looked good were actually hotel bars." And she laughed. Apparently in Australia a "hotel" is a bar. Some law forever ago said that if you served alcohol you also had to have places to sleep, so they became one in the same long ago and now it doesn't mean hotel anymore, it's just synonymous with bar. Before we went out, we stopped for some dinner and I said, "This place is awesome. It's so nice but the entrees are so cheap." And she laughed again. Apparently in Australia an "entree" is an appetizer and a "main" is an entree. That's what's so fun about being here. It's all in English so I'm not totally lost, but it's just wrong enough to keep me guessing.

After walking around Sydney for an entire day, visiting several museums, landmarks, botanical gardens, hotels and restaurants, I really felt like I knew a lot about the city. And it made me realize how pitifully little I know about my own town. I couldn't begin to name one restaurant in the West End. I've just always assumed I didn't want to. But it's stupid that I know more about every city I've visited in the world than I do about Dallas. So I made a decision. When I get back, I'm going to take a tour of Dallas. I'm going to buy a travel book, get a hotel downtown, walk all over the place, see the grassy knoll. All that shit. I'm not even sure I know what the travel books will say to do! It won't be easy convincing locals to join me in my wide eyed camera toting tour of downtown Dallas, but we're going to do it by g*d. Who's with me?!

I'll probably curse the day I bought the PedEgg soon enough. Each night when I'm finished using it, I marvel at how soft my feet are. And then the next morning I think to myself, "I could just run it over them one more time to be sure." And wouldn't you know it? They get even softer. I can see somewhere in the near future of both soles of my feet being one massive abbrasion. But it's so worth it. Daniel won't let me use it on him because he claims his hard earned calloused feet are the reason he is able to wear uncomfortable shoes. But I just know I could take a good quarter of an inch off.

In other news, I went to visit my motorcycle accident havin' coworker at his house. He's home from the hospital. All the scary stuff about fluid in lungs and broken ribs is past him. His color has returned and he's in generally good spirits. He has a titanium rod in one leg and then he had two broken ankles, one of which was operated on and still has no feeling. But he just has two boots on and has to use a wheelchair to get around. So all in all, not too bad. I try to cheer him up with stories of own infirmary and give him hints on how to keep from getting bored. But he refuses to take pain medication of any kind, so my top 3 ideas were just shot to hell. I wish there was more I could do to help but it'll just take time.

Speaking of motorcycles, I took the Vespa in AGAIN. They're going to look at it AGAIN. This time they think they know what's wrong. They called Vespa and described the symptoms and they were quite sure this is the only bike in the world that has ever exhibited these characteristics. Yeeeaaahhh, custom baby. They said if I dropped it off before I went to Australia that they would have it fixed by the time I got home. I don't believe them, but it's worth a shot. So I took it to them on Saturday morning. Man, was it a beautiful morning to ride. I was sorry to drop it off.

And lastly, I'm going to Australia. OMG. It's coming to fast. Since I'm not very good at planning a trip in advance, I encourage you all to leave me a comment with something you think I should do while I'm there. So far all I've thought of is getting a picture of me in front of the Sydney Operahouse. So that's already covered. Also, any advice for how to survive a 14 hour flight would also be appreciated. Thaaaaaanks.

It's been a while since I've updated. My apologies. I just returned from Las Vegas celebrating my brother Stephen's 30th birthday. It was a pretty big deal. The entire trip was kept a secret from him up until I took him and his wife to the airport. And then on top of that, it was another secret that me and my other brother, Michael, were on our way to the airport separately to meet and surprise him with our presence. It was pretty fun sneaking up behind him in the casino while he played video poker. After so many months of preparation, it was such a relief for the big reveal.

So we spent two days gambling, drinking, laying out by the pool, having some very fine high dollar meals, and seeing the Beatles LOVE show. Highly recommend. Also highly recommend Planet Hollywood. It's recently been redone and it is so nice. Nicer than the Bellagio, in my humble opinion. Crazy times.

His birthday was a little bigger deal than mine. I tried to keep the invite casual (I wanted to type "cas" as in short for "casual" there but I'm not sure how to spell it). I didn't even have a place for people to RSVP because I didn't want to get excited that anyone was coming. Daniel was kind of annoyed with me as we got ready to go out to the bar because he was hurrying me along and I was saying what's the point, no one's coming. He was like you always get this way on your birthday. So we got there, and DJ iMernex had reserved us a table. And then we sat. And sat. And sat. And no one came. Daniel was frantically texting people trying to get them to come to no avail. Finally before I called it quits I texted Keiff cause he had said he would try to make it after moving all day and he was on his way over. So hurray! Saved the day. Then we blew that hot dog stand and invited Lindsey over like we should have all along. Lesson learned. Next year, no party ... he said again.

My Harley riding coworker got in a really bad motorcycle accident this weekend. He has two broken ankles, a broken femur, broken ribs, and road rash. I think I need to go get some safety gear before I ride anymore. I'm paranoid now. Not that I wasn't before, but you get the point.

So good times, not much to report from the real world. Gearing up for Australia, dreading the 14 hour flight. But definitely excited. I'll keep you posted.

After having lived in Covington, Kentucky and traveling back and forth from Ohio for two weeks, I think I can safely say that I know what it's like to live in America's Heartland. We residents of Northern Kentucky/Ohio are a simple people. We like Jesus and basketball and White Castle burgers. Said another way, I can't wait to go home!

I am going to fly back to Austin tomorrow night. I was thinking about going to College Station immediately upon arriving but those plans are in the air right now. We'll just have to see. I am so ready to get home, especially since my on-again-off-again roommate Andy will be there waiting to stay with me for a few days. And I've got that night to spend wired up to electrodes in the sleep clinic. But a part of me will miss Cincinnati ... a part of Cincinnati anyway, his name is Mikey. But Mikey is moving to Dallas in about a month, so no worries there. *WINK*

I didn't spend much time sitting in my hotel room alone. I really think I probably have as many friends in Cincy as I do in Dallas. That's either a really cool display of my social skills, or a blaring example of my lack thereof.

So I apologize for not updating the entire time I was here, but this social butterfly was too busy flapping his wings. I would probably come back here if they asked me to, but only for a week. Two weeks was just too long. That expense check I'm about to get should assuage any feelings of homesickness I ever had though. I'm gonna be rolling in it, people. I can put so much into savings for my Australia trip this month. Or I could buy that leather jacket at Source Paris. Yeah, I'll probably go for the jacket.

Hope all is well with all of you and to my Dallas crew and Addison Circle, I will see you all sooooon. Late.

And now we run into the age-old blogging problem of having nothing to say. I don't often fall victim to the inspiration hiatus that kills so many virgin blogs (and burns.tk) but lately I have. Not that the actual excitement level of my life has changed per se, i'm just not expending as much energy trying to jazz it up. I kept waiting for something obviously bloggable to happen, but when that never came to be, I decided to give you one of these apologetic posts.

I have a new friend. He hates me. He's a long time Sidesho-viewer whose distaste for the Sidesho began with an innocuous LJ comment where I determined his use of the word "ironic" needed a little dictionary.com help. It was innocent enough, I thought. Anyway, long story short, he IMed me to tell me that he hated me, I naturally invited him out for a beer, and now we're friends. Yay!

It's pretty much a sure thing now that I won't be going to Australia in July. My debt, coupled with the higher-than-anticipated costs of airfare, have motivated me to follow Delilah's advice and postpone the trek until February. Plus, February is Gay Pride Month on that kooky island. That's something you don't want to go through life without experiencing. I am still sorely disappointed that I'm not going, though, y'know? Say lah vee.

Perhaps this next week will be a non-stop roller coaster ride of thrills, chills and nunchuck skillz. Peace out, skillets.

Is it weird that after I get done tanning, the smell eminating from my skin makes me hungry? Somebody back me up on this one.

I got carded on the way home buying cigarettes at the discount tobacco store, and then the old Indian man went on like a 5 minute explanation of how I have a baby face and that means that I am a good person inside because a good person's features never change. I was like, "Thanks, Vishnu, can I have my smokes now?"

So I've decided to push back my Australia trip to July 7th through the 15th. That means that I will be here on July 4th and my birthday July 6th. Tomorrow is Justin's birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN. Hurry up and come to Dallas and bring me my belt. I saw a chick in a bar wearing one, and I simply must be the first to have one in my social circle or else the novelty will wear off.

This Saturday Ryan and Todd are coming over from Arlington to play drinking games with me. Thommi might come up. Lesbie Ann might come. I'm going to invite Will and Lindsay too to make it a royal college reunion. Ryan S■■■ is bringing Robert and I'm going to see if Lil Jarrod wants to come. Party at the 735 square feet of fun! Damnit, now I have to clean. Anyway, if you want to come, let me know.

I almost forgot, today at work I switched my keyboard to Dvorak. I'll let you all know how that works out for me.

Nothing else to report. My days blend into each other as I drudge through the monotony of a job well done. Czech you skillets later.

Taste of Addison might be more appropriately titled if it were called "Rednek White Trash Bash Carnie Festival Early 90s Rock Fair." Rest assured, dear readers, I will not be attending RWTBCFE9RF next year. No way no how. However, I would be remiss to not mention the silver lining on my clouded demeanor, Miss Lindsay Stone. She pretty much forced me against my will to have a good time. We had some laughs at my unknowingly evil glances at fat people with cottage cheese butts in tube tops and hot pants. She fed me beers that we snuck in with her big purse. *Clink!* And she didn't make me sit in the grass ... puhlease, I was wearing BRAND NEW jeans.

Other highlight of the evening? Mister Will Pendleton was in attendance. I made him hug me when he got there and he said I had "a whole lot of hair going on" and that I had "bulked up." We like Will. Will also bought me beers TWO AT A TIME. We really like Will. After I was good and toasted, we ran over to Duke's in Addison where I tried to make it up to my two patrons with an open tab and a few pitchers of beers. Deelish. What a way to spend an evening.

In other news, I had spent the earlier part of the evening having the most fabulous shopping date with our dear friend Ryan S■■■. We went to the West Village where we visited the new Octane store and I just had to get some new jeans that I could not afford. My Sevens that I bought with Leslie a little over a year ago and then proceeded to wear every single day of my life are almost at the end of theirs. The minute hole in the crotch grows bigger every day. The real reason for telling this story? Ryan S■■■ told me what he's planning on getting me for my birthday and I just CANNOT keep it in any longer. He's going to take me to see NEIL DIAMOND IN CONCERT! AAAAAAHHHH! That is the best fucking present anyone has ever given me! I bet none of you can top that! Omega omega omega SWEEEEEEEEEEET CAROLINE! BA DUH DUH DUH! I can not wait. The concert's not til later this summer and hopefully it won't be when I'm in Australia. But fucking Neil Diamond?! Can you imagine?! I love you Ryan S■■■!

The only present I can think of that's better than that is this belt I saw in the Post Oak Mall (it's a great shopping place). It's from that ghetto belt buckle store where they can carve you one that says BLING or something. But these ones are little screens that scroll words across it. I wanted one soo bad but I was too embarassed to buy one. I told Justin M■■■ to get me one for my birthday but he didn't sound like he was actually going to, so check with him to make sure before you buy me one. I don't want two in the same color. I also tried to buy myself a programmable thermostat for my apartment on eBay today. I bid with 6 hours left and then had to go to work and I lost. But there were like a 100 of them on there, so I'm gonna go bid on some more. I work in the damn controls industry, I don't need to be manually setting the temperature in my own apartment. Gosh!

And that ugly fucking maid never called me back neither.

Dear all you bitches who said I would get fired,
I got a raise today.
Har dee har fucking har.
Love,
Sidesho

In fact, my year-end review said that I was doing "outstanding," had "exceeded all expectations," and had "received praise from co-workers both in and out of [my] department." It's kind of hard to argue with that. And that's in print, bold-faced, and in my permanent record. So to everyone who scoffed at me going in late 6 months in a row, everyone who turned their nose up at my mid-day naps, anyone who thought noon was too early to call it a day, and the nay-sayers who thought skipping a day was grounds for immediate termination, I say sit on it. I'm doing an outstanding job. Besides, you can't hold it against me that I'm as much as three times more productive than the average human.

The only thing my boss said he was worried about, concerning yours truly, is that I would be quitting relatively soon. He said I have too much education and potential for this job to hold me longer than 4 years. He doesn't know I was planning on quitting Tuesday. But, he does make a good point. I am terribly bored with work. But you just can't deny how sweet it is to land yet another job where I do what I want, and the allure of making that into a career.

Oh goodness, look at me going on and on about myself. How dreadful. You all KNOW how I hate to toot my own horn.

My workouts are going well even though Mr. K■■■■■■ has fallen "ill" and I've been flying solo every day this week. Except this time I'm being literal; I have gone every day this week. Even though I am still morbidly obese, at least my arms are muscular enough to lift my fat ass off the ground. Hopefully Febrehabruary will take care of that. (I changed the name from Frehabruary to Febrehabruary. While they both look fine in print, the latter is definitely easier to speak aloud.)

Did you notice my grammatically correct usage of the semi-colon in the paragraph above? My grammar book (Eats, Shoots & Leaves) is positively fascinating. I am learning so much from it. And its fuuunnnnny.

Allison left for Australia yesterday. I hope she likes lederhosen and wienerschnitzel, ja. JKJK. I'm not much for sloven goodbyes, but I did get her a picture frame that said "Best Friends" along the top and then "Sydney July 2005" along the bottom. When I saw it on the shelf, I thought it was so appropriate and definitely freaky that they were mass producing them. JKJK again! I had it engraved. That's my new thing. You're nobody unless you get an engraved gift from me. Except for Ryan S■■■ who got a kickass DVD stand. That was from the heart. Anyway, back to Allison. She'll be gone for a year but I'll see her this summer, so that's not too bad. I wish her the best ... shrimp on the barbie.

I bought a big bottle of pomegranite juice. It's called Pom. Much like every other juice ever produced, it claims to be really good for you. I'll tell you one thing: it's fucking delicious. If you are just joining us and aren't familiar with the fruit, search my site for it. I have a great explanation somewhere in the past. The only downside of the juice is that it was 10 bucks for something the size of a cranberry cocktail. That's too expensive to have it on my permanent online shopping list, but a definite treat now and again.

I think I'll end on that note because I'm rambling a tad. I miss you all and apologize for my continued unpluggedness. We'll all get through this soon enough. Peace out, my little have nots. I love you all.

My trip to College Station was a rousing success. I saw so many people that I haven't seen in forever. I met a bunch of new people too. And somewhere in the middle of those two experiences ... I met lots of people that I've known for years but never bothered to remember -- namely, ALL of Keiff's female friends. The drive down was a b-last. It's been so long since team Gill 'n Al have made a road trip. We rawked out the whole way. Trying to describe it in words will only fall short, but I'll just say that I almost passed out from singing the Moulin Rouge soundtrack too loud.

I don't want to go into too much narration about my weekend, but I did take a shower at Jason's, stop off at Dustin and Trey's, see Marshall at Hoblob (his hair is so hot now), check out Tommy's ultra chic downtown loft, visit Josh and Nelly, and attend Burns' and Lauren's ring dunking party. Burns was pretty optimistic about beating my modest 65 second mark, but he fell quite short. I think he came in at 94, which I say assuming he will correct me if I'm wrong. Lauren took several minutes, but I was still proud of her for finishing decently for a girl. Of course, chugging beer is what college ... nay, life ... is all about, but I suppose some congratulations are in order for even attaining the coveted Aggie Ring. So congrats, children, congrats.

After drinking all the free beer we could, Dustin, Trey, Jason, Tommy and I all ventured over to Halo. I saw so many people there. It was way too fun. I drank myself retarded, attempted to dance, had many conversations that are not catalogued in my ever decreasing memory banks. This was a fantastic trip to CS, I accomplished all of my goals of alcoholism.

In other exciting news, Allison got herself a job for when she graduates in December. She's been interning at HP for a while now and has decided to further that career professionally. The exciting part? She's been hired in Sydney fucking Australia. How awesome is that?! Major congrats to her! I am already saving up for my plane ticket to go visit her. Who knows ... if I like it there, I could always transfer to Sydney. Our three world headquarters are Sydney, Australia, Malmo, Sweden, and Carrollton, Texas (obviously). I'm way excited for her, even though it's a little depressing that she'll be on the other side of the world by the end of January. So our party on December 11th in College Station that you're all clearing your calendars for will now be a Thanksgiving/Graduation/Bon Voyage. Huzzah!

And finally, I've been inundated with the word 'insurgent' since this whole Fallujah thing, in conjunction with my NPR habit, started. I finally decided to look it up and find out what it actually means.
in·sur·gent (n-sûrjnt) adj. --
1. Rising in revolt against established authority, especially a government.
2. Rebelling against the leadership of a political party.

Turns out, I'm an insurgent.