Leslie B is mentioned in 31 posts, which ranks #12 overall for people. They are most often associated with these...

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If you haven't ever seen Dave Chapelle's Block Party, I suggest you go rent it immediately and bask in it. Just bask. I rented it last night when Blockbuster didn't have Strangers with Candy (so lame). So now I'm sitting home alone with a bottle of Patrón chilling in the freezer thoroughly enjoying myself. I got dressed up for no reason, fried some dinner in butter and life is good.

I remember the first time I saw Block Party. It was when the ever lovely Miss Lesbie Ann B■■■■■ was in my hizzell and we wanted a drizzell in the mornizzle, like you do. After drinking breakfast at the Gecko we went to Studio Movie Grill and laughed our asses off at this movie in between martinays. Loves it.

On Monday I have to get up at 4am. I have a 6am flight to Manassas, VA. Well, there's no airport in Manassas, obviously, but it is right near Washingtown, DC. I have to be there for a week with work. I would be lying if I didn't say I was looking forward to it. I've gotten in a rut lately, if you haven't noticed. I hardly ever leave my apartment. I never go anywhere or do anything. That is one downfall to dating. You just get comfortable and stop trying to look around for fun things to do. So now I'm going to Manassas. If I weren't dating Daniel then I'd say I looked forward to getting some asses in Manassas, but it's just a tag line now.

I got my sister's name in our annual xmas gift exchange. She's a 30-something news anchor, soon-to-be-mother of two with a brand new house. Give me gift ideas. I am not having any ideas pop into my head.

Like I said, not too many hilarious stories to tell from the couch unless you want me to recount my favorite episodes of Family Guy.... No? Then FUCK YOU. I'm out. Peace.

I wanted to make sure I informed everybody that I will be in Austin from March 20th to the 28th. I'm supposed to drive down tomorrow morning, but my plan was to drive down tonight instead. I could stay at Lesbie's tonight and then go to work really late in the morning (under the guise that I'd just driven into town). The weather is really suckin' ass, though, so I might actually wait until the morning.

I always make a little extra cash when I travel -- especially when I drive -- so I decided to go on a little shopping spree. I got some new jeans, a new shirt, and a new pair of these sweet pink and brown plaid pants. I just wish I had purchased a shirt I could wear with them as well. I'm not sure when I'll get to debut them, but I might take them to Austin with me since I'm sure I'll be hitting up the Barton Creek mall a few times. I'm also going to take my sewing machine with me and work on my shirt because I imagine I'll have some free time. Maybe I should make myself a shirt to match my pants. I just really want a hat like Santino. If anyone knows where I can get one, please let me know or buy it for me.

I also feel like I should apologize for never updating anymore. It's not that I don't love you, and I assure you, my webpage is not going the way of the burns.tks of the world. I've just had someone better to do lately, and it's hard to pull away to update the ol' webpage. I should be updating more over the next 10 days to keep you informed of the hilarity of my Austin Adventure. Until then, take care of yourselves ... and each other. Huzzah!

It's great to be back. I gotta tell you. Boy, I missed beer. And liquor. Liquor? I hardly even know her. My glorious return to drinking was shared with a couple of birthdays. First, to the Allistralian. She flew halfway around the world and I had to fuckin miss her bbq. I was stuck in Funkytown until like 7:30pm for work, and then by the time I arrived back at the office, I already had some friends from out of town waiting for me. So my apologies, but I do hope you had the best birthday ever.

Next, was Miss Lesbie Ann. She drove up from Austin to celebrate turning into 27. Oh wait, I mean, turning 27, my mistake. She had been to Dallas plenty of times, but she had never been to Addison! I assumed I would have to show her all that Addison! had to offer, but instead, she showed me ....

Friday night we sat around drinkin beers like I do most weekends. I wanted her to meet everyone and see how we do. Saturday morning we woke up and went to Cafe Gecko for Bloody Marys and breakfast (since when are those different things). From there, we went and bought tickets for Dave Chappelle's Block Party. Really, we just wanted to drink more and figured a movie without a solid plot might allow for breaks to the bathroom. A few margaritas and martinis later we retired for a respite in my apartment until it was time for our appointments at the spa. Unfortunately, they couldn't find anyone to massage me on such short notice, but Lester did have a diamond scrub facial with allllll the trimmings. I met her at Zen Bar to celebrate and we threw back a few brewskis, brah. Then we met up with Daniel to go to Shuck and Jive where we ate more oysters than you would normally assume three people would eat and drank a lot more brews, dude. Our plans to get fancied up and go south of 635 were interrupted by our inability to drive. So we wrapped up the evening drinking at Daniel's until we both passed out. What a fabulous weekend. Thank you so much to my host, Leslie!

Last bit of business. Who watched Project Runway? Who else is incensed at the finale? Chloe?!?! Give me a fucking break. Her collection was a bunch of shiny GEM monstrocities. I thought they were going to tear her a new one. I was a Dan Fan through the whole season but had just recently switched to voting for Santino. I wasn't blown away by any one collection, but I thought that Santino would win. Daniel's was too plain Jane store shelf looking. I don't wanna look at anything too conceptual but I also don't want to look at something I probably could have thought of. Blech, what a disappointment. I can't wait until Jay McCarroll's line comes out. I'm gonna wear the shit out of it.

This weekend. Out of town. Niece's 1st birthday in OKC. Can't wait. See you all when I get back.

I've had a couple of stories up my sleeve for about a week now. Usually if I'm too lazy (hungover) to blog right away, the story never gets told. Who knows what awesome parties went unblogged and have since been forgotten. Well, not this one. Not Miss Lesbie Ann's Housewarming Party!

It was so grood to have the old gang all back together. It was Leslie, Rick, Josh, Bob, Raul, Tyresa, Aaron. So not the entire gang, but certainly some key players. We had planned on two days of merriment, getting drunk and retelling old stories. It made me miss the days of Halo when you just knew each weekend was going to be more interesting than the last. But back to my story, Leslie's house is just beautiful. I'm a tad jealous, but we Addison folk don't long for equity. Josh got her a delicious candle. Aaron got her a golden blanket. But Bob ... oh, Bob ... Bob got her cocknballs.

As soon as Leslie unwrapped the rather sizeable frame, Josh said, "That's BOB!" And indeed it was. This bit of expressionism is titled "Señor Humps." If you'll look closely, you'll see that Bob has painted his anterior and posterior with different colors of paint and then sacrificed his body for his art. There's really a lot of emotion in it. Emotion and pubic hair.

Thanks for the killer party, Lester!

Story #2. The other day, my most sabulous friend Brett texted me and invited me out to dinner. We decided to take up Smith and Wollensky (one of my all time fav steakhouses) on their "eat your age" offer. Every day after 8:30pm, you can go in and get an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert and pay a dollar for every year you've managed to survive (minimum $25, maximum $65). I'm not sure why they do this, possibly because we were just about the only people in there that late, but surely they're taking a loss on it. But who cares, everything that I ordered totalled $60-70 easily, and I paid $25. It's an amazing deal, everyone go check it out.

There are very few exceptions to the offer. There's some seafood boquet appetizer for 100 bucks that's off limits. And the live Maine lobster and like a 30lb. lobster tail. Pretty much anything over 100 bucks you can't get but anything else you want. So when I was asked if I'd like the 8oz. filet mignon or the 14oz. I replied, "Derrrrrrrrr." Not to be outdone, Mr. Sabulous ordered himself the 28oz. prime rib. And of course, we're connoisseurs, so we got it all rare. So there are 42 fucking ounces of raw meat on our table, as well as some potatoes (as shown), creamed spinach, and a wonderful bottle of wine. It was a fight to fit it all in, but we certainly ate until we could eat no more. g*d, I love gluttony. We had to save room for dessert, too. So we had all that plus crab meat and fried calamari appetizers, six shooter sorbets and the trio of creme brulees, and we got out of there spending next to nothing. What a wonderful way to spend an evening, thanks Brett!

I'm fresh out of stories now, until next time, same Sidesho-channel. Peace.

I go to the sleep doctor tomorrow morning. From the research I've done, I have a feeling my life is going to consist of a little bit more of this than anything else. There is no mechanized cure for whatever it is that afflicts me; it's all chemical from this point on. I'm just crossing my fingers that I get a subscription to some kind of medication with a street value. *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* Y'get what I'm sayin? Open up shop, beeyotch.

I'm actually pretty nervous. I make a lot of jokes about not sleeping, mostly because it's my favorite defense mechanism. The last time that I went to the doctor and they told me that I should stop using the CPAP because it wasn't the cure and that we'd have to do more testing, I sat in the parking lot for a while and cried. It's not so much that I care that I have to do all of this. I mean, I've gone through enough geriatric treatment for arthritic knees that I'm not hung up on wanting to be normal. Let's be honest, normal is just a synonym for average. But the utter frustration of the whole experience did get to me. That coupled with being exhausted, tends to weaken your barriers. But, fear not, dear viewers, for my optimism knows no bounds. I just know that tomorrow I'm gonna get some good news. Ooh, I hope they subscribe me some vicadin; I love that shit.

Tonight I got to see Miles' fabulous new residence. We are all very excited about the time that will be spent there together. Congrats Miles! Even though Mr. Sabulous and I were the only two people you forgot to mention on your website! This weekend I'm going to Round Rock to attend Miss Lesbie Ann's housewarming party. If any of you are in the area, give me a call and you can come to the party. I RSVP'ed to the e-vite with +46 guests just to throw off the guest count. Also, if anyone from Dallas would like to go with me, I'd more than welcome the company. Thanks and gig this. Later bitches.

I did it. I fucking did it. I traversed the globe from Austin, TX to Cincinnati, OH without a single hitch. I even rented my first car and followed directions to my hotel. From my balcony, I overlook a White Castle. I might have to try that tomorrow for dinner and see if it sucks even worse than Krystals does. The lady at the front desk here is super cool. She gave me a smoking room with a balcony, and had a fridge sent up to my room so I could keep the beers cold that she gave me. Who knows if she's this nice to everyone, but it sure does feel special.

I know Brandon had requested a big long blog all about my weekend in Austin, but that may have to wait a couple of days, which in effect means I will never get around to it. It is now midnight and I have to meet some dude in the lobby at 7am to go to the UC campus. So far I'm having a good time. Thanks jebus there's free internet access in my room. The workout facilities leave a lot to be desired, but it should be sufficient. But anyway, my weekend in Austin was awesome. Congratufuckinglations to Dr. and Mrs. Jamey Dent. Bang up job getting married, kids. The wedding was cathlick, the reception was fun, the nap I took after the reception was a fucking blast. I went out with Brandon and some of his friends. It was so, so good to see Brandon, not, not so good to see his friends. But, we all managed to make it though the weekend being painfully polite to each other. There's a whole sordid inside story to why that I don't feel like getting into. Let's just say his new boyfriend has every reason to hate me.

Beer #2 is now open.

So getting to Cincinnati (or Sin-sin-naughty, as I hope to come to call it) wasn't too bad. Lester took me to the airport and let me park my car at her apartment, so thanks for that, L.Bizzle said D.Fizzle. I scheduled myself a 4 hour layover in Chicago hoping that one of my two friends would be able to meet up with me for a while. Turned out that neither of them could, which was totally cool, I knew that when I scheduled the layover without asking that I was rolling the dice. So I had plenty of time to sit and eat a leisurely (free) dinner and then play Spider Solitaire for 2 hours while listening to John Denver's greatest hits.

My flight from Chicago to Cincinnati wasn't on a big American Airlines plane. It was on a smaller sub-airline, I guess, called American Eagle. I don't know about you, but visions of a flight crew dressed in tattered jeans and board shorts did not instill much confidence. But we made it on one piece with only minor turbulence, and then I masterfully navigated my (upgraded) rental car to my pimpass hotel. The fucking end.

Got a busy couple of weeks ahead of me, but so far I'm rather liking this travel thing. Now, to close, an homage to Drew Carey ... OHIO!!!1!!

Is it weird that after I get done tanning, the smell eminating from my skin makes me hungry? Somebody back me up on this one.

I got carded on the way home buying cigarettes at the discount tobacco store, and then the old Indian man went on like a 5 minute explanation of how I have a baby face and that means that I am a good person inside because a good person's features never change. I was like, "Thanks, Vishnu, can I have my smokes now?"

So I've decided to push back my Australia trip to July 7th through the 15th. That means that I will be here on July 4th and my birthday July 6th. Tomorrow is Justin's birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN. Hurry up and come to Dallas and bring me my belt. I saw a chick in a bar wearing one, and I simply must be the first to have one in my social circle or else the novelty will wear off.

This Saturday Ryan and Todd are coming over from Arlington to play drinking games with me. Thommi might come up. Lesbie Ann might come. I'm going to invite Will and Lindsay too to make it a royal college reunion. Ryan S■■■ is bringing Robert and I'm going to see if Lil Jarrod wants to come. Party at the 735 square feet of fun! Damnit, now I have to clean. Anyway, if you want to come, let me know.

I almost forgot, today at work I switched my keyboard to Dvorak. I'll let you all know how that works out for me.

Nothing else to report. My days blend into each other as I drudge through the monotony of a job well done. Czech you skillets later.

Taste of Addison might be more appropriately titled if it were called "Rednek White Trash Bash Carnie Festival Early 90s Rock Fair." Rest assured, dear readers, I will not be attending RWTBCFE9RF next year. No way no how. However, I would be remiss to not mention the silver lining on my clouded demeanor, Miss Lindsay Stone. She pretty much forced me against my will to have a good time. We had some laughs at my unknowingly evil glances at fat people with cottage cheese butts in tube tops and hot pants. She fed me beers that we snuck in with her big purse. *Clink!* And she didn't make me sit in the grass ... puhlease, I was wearing BRAND NEW jeans.

Other highlight of the evening? Mister Will Pendleton was in attendance. I made him hug me when he got there and he said I had "a whole lot of hair going on" and that I had "bulked up." We like Will. Will also bought me beers TWO AT A TIME. We really like Will. After I was good and toasted, we ran over to Duke's in Addison where I tried to make it up to my two patrons with an open tab and a few pitchers of beers. Deelish. What a way to spend an evening.

In other news, I had spent the earlier part of the evening having the most fabulous shopping date with our dear friend Ryan S■■■. We went to the West Village where we visited the new Octane store and I just had to get some new jeans that I could not afford. My Sevens that I bought with Leslie a little over a year ago and then proceeded to wear every single day of my life are almost at the end of theirs. The minute hole in the crotch grows bigger every day. The real reason for telling this story? Ryan S■■■ told me what he's planning on getting me for my birthday and I just CANNOT keep it in any longer. He's going to take me to see NEIL DIAMOND IN CONCERT! AAAAAAHHHH! That is the best fucking present anyone has ever given me! I bet none of you can top that! Omega omega omega SWEEEEEEEEEEET CAROLINE! BA DUH DUH DUH! I can not wait. The concert's not til later this summer and hopefully it won't be when I'm in Australia. But fucking Neil Diamond?! Can you imagine?! I love you Ryan S■■■!

The only present I can think of that's better than that is this belt I saw in the Post Oak Mall (it's a great shopping place). It's from that ghetto belt buckle store where they can carve you one that says BLING or something. But these ones are little screens that scroll words across it. I wanted one soo bad but I was too embarassed to buy one. I told Justin M■■■ to get me one for my birthday but he didn't sound like he was actually going to, so check with him to make sure before you buy me one. I don't want two in the same color. I also tried to buy myself a programmable thermostat for my apartment on eBay today. I bid with 6 hours left and then had to go to work and I lost. But there were like a 100 of them on there, so I'm gonna go bid on some more. I work in the damn controls industry, I don't need to be manually setting the temperature in my own apartment. Gosh!

And that ugly fucking maid never called me back neither.

I can count on one finger the number of times that I have updated my webpage drunk. For those of you a little slow on the uptake, that means that I've only done this once before. Kudos to anybody who can tell me the date of that entry. I say "kudos to anybody" but really all I mean is "kudos to Chevy" because she's the only one who would actually take the time to ascertain said information.

I went to happy hour tonight with Andy. We drank a lot of beer. I smoked a lot of cigarettes. I have got to quit smoking more often because nothing makes a cigarette taste better than the seasoning of unrequited lust. Oh my god it was delicious. My apartment aroma is making me wet at the moment because Andy is cooking us a couple of ribeyes while I sip red wine. Having a roommate has its perks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LESLIE. I am so random. Being drunk is like riding a bicycle. You never forget how much you need to get drunk ... and you never forget how much you want to get drunk. *takes sip of cheap red wine*

It's not just the title that used to be clever. I had at least 6 awesome stories to tell you all before I went to happy hour. One of them I remember was commentary on how good my mood was because I wasn't drinking. "It's impossible to be completely happy while ingesting that much of something called a depressant," I was going to say. But that was before the utter ecstacy I feel right now having had like 8 beers. YAY!

I love you all and I wish you could be as happy as I am right now. Oh shit, I was going to catalogue the results of Febrehabruary. That's right. I lost 11 pounds. 11 fucking pounds of alcoholic weight. I look good, I feel good ... I am good, g*d damnit. I love you all immensely. More info when I sober up (which may be never) HAAAAAAAAAAAA

Fine. I'll post. If I had a nickel for every time Ryan H■■■■ had left me a comment complaining about the frequency of my blogs ... well, I'd have like 30 cents, which really isn't a lot of money. I doubt I'd even make the hypothetical benefactor pay me that 30 cents, but still, to illustrate my point, that is a lot of times to make those comments. I haven't posted lately, but I have had some awesome ideas for new posts. I've since forgotten them all, but believe me, they would have been hilarious.

Today was supposed to be my moving day, but time conflicts have pushed that back until tomorrow. I am still going to take some of my stuff over there today but the furniture doesn't go until tomorrow. Which means you fuckers don't get to see it until at least tomorrow. But knowing me, it'll be more like next week.

My co-, Trey, is going to take care of moving me. I don't think I ever explained this on here. We have had a pool table in our garage for a long time. I think the last time it was used was like 5 years ago. Trey plays pool 6 nights out of the week in various leagues, tournaments, and pool halls. He has always wanted a pool table but couldn't ever afford one. The only thing we use our pool table for is to play ping pong on top of it like once a year. So I told my dad I would buy him a really nice, brand new ping pong table in exchange for that ratty old pool table we don't even use. I will, in turn, give that to Trey who will then enlist the help of his son and friends, all of the people who would use his new pool table. And in the end, I get more man power, with no time restrictions, for less money. It's what you call a win/win/win/win situation.

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick." I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D". I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary. This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... It's dirty.

Those are all Mitch Hedberg quotes, you can read more by clicking his name. I saw him and Stephen Lynch last weekend in Austin. Three words: hi-larious. I liked Mitch a lot better, but that is not to say that Stephen Lynch wasn't brilliant in his lyrics and guitar stylings. That paragraph above is pretty much how the show went. Mitch comes on stage drunk, stumbles a little, leans forward over the table where his sheets of paper with jokes written on them are, his hair falls forward over his face and he proceeds to read on after the other. I think we saw his face once. It's like he went to a school for how to become a comedian and then did the exact opposite. I'm always impressed when comedians with long stand-up acts can tie it all together, or use recurring jokes. Mitch did none of this. Didn't even try. I have a lot of respect for that. It was probably 2 of the 50 funniest hours of my life. Didn't get to go out because Stinky Pants got too drunk, but did manage to drink a whole lot (just not at breakfast).

I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do today besides move. I might go see Scott Mechlowicz's new movie, Mean Creek. I'm pretty sure it's out. And he's so dreamy. My internet will be up and running Monday in the apartment, so don't expect another post before then. But do keep checking back hourly just in case I post from home. Hey Ryan, happy now, fucker?

I just got back from the gym. My heart is still pounding. I am really attacking this workout thing with renewed vigor. I have started swimming again and that feels so good. I swim until I can't breathe and then as punishment for being weak, I swim some more. It's just annoying that every time I go under my cigarette keeps going out. But seriously folks, I swam for about an hour tonight, dried off, donned my workout gear and headed upstairs to run on a treadmill. I'm going to have to find an alternative to this because it is tearing up my knees, but damned if jogging isn't the easiest way to maintain my 180 heartbeats per minute. The ol' vision got a little spotty tonight, but I pushed through it.

As I'm doing this, I can't help but be reminded of the episode of Full House where Deej thinks she's fat and has a swim party to go. So she starts giving away her lunches and Steph catches her and forces her to eat. But really she feeds her sandwich to Comet when she thinks Steph isn't looking. But she did see, only she didn't want to betray the trust of her sister when she made her pinky swear she wouldn't tell anybody. But really she should have because later on at the gym, Deej pushed herself too hard on the cardio equipment and had a black out.

I think we can all learn a lesson from this episode: It is inexcusable to be over weight, and if you are ... just stop eating!

Although, if the writers had had sufficient foresight, they would have made baby Michelle the one with the eating disorder.

Disaster! Co-worker Yue found my webpage. I deleted a few choice entries now that my url is on the office server somewhere deep in the cache. Will have to remain more cognizant of what I write (why do I keep stealing Ryan S■■■'s subjectless sentence style? V. not me).

I'm going to Austin tomorrow to see Stephen Lynch and Mitch Hedberg with the lovely Miss Lesbie Ann, Justin M■■■ (the one who introduced me to Howie Day in that very city), and hopefully my Brandon, who has yet to get off of work. The show is Saturday night, but I'm gonna go stay with Leslie for an extra day to get some partying out of the way.

Next week ... the move!

The room was a haze, her steps heavy with drunken determination. She stood at the doorway and gazed out, seeing double. The rain fell in sheets outside, and not wanting to endure the downpour, she retreated back into the club. She looked left to read a poster, but abandoned such hope as the words melted together. She looked right with disgust at the lowly bartenders shooting disapproving leers. She should have been looking down, because unbeknownst to her, the floor ended in a cascade of stairs she had walked up and down a hundred times before.

The floor jumped up from out of nowhere, knocking her sideways as her purse regurgitated its belongings. She looked up to notice lights on the far wall, and soon realized she had hit the floor. Dazed, she felt herself lift up under the close watch of two of her friends. And then, it was time to leave.

Okay, enough with the narrative stylings of your favorite Sidesho attraction. I just promised Leslie that I would find a creative spin on the fact that she ate it hardcore in the middle of Boyz Cellar. That was the only way I could procure permission to even tell the story. Those of you who know her won't be surprised ... those of you who have met her won't be surprised ... those of you who know of her won't be surprised ... those of you who read this site a lot won't be surprised ... but everyone else will be fucking floored!

We had to leave early that night, but luckily our knight in shining armor, Brandon, was there to save the day and drive us back to Round Rock so we didn't have to wait in the rain for a taxi. "We" was Leslie, Jon S■■■ and yours truly. It was still relatively early and the rest of us were relatively sober so Jon and I sat up drinking beers and discussing politics. Lesbie Ann joined us for a spell but retired before we did. The next day we woke up and had lunch and then I hit the road for Brandon's house.

He fumbled about for a bit, not wanting to extend the good bye, just delay it. A furtive look about at his surroundings and he fixated on her. He was leaving her, and didn't know when he would see her again. A moment. Hugs and pleasantries exchanged, he strode to the car and waved a final time.

Ehh, I had to give my embarassing moment some granduer as well. It was then that our everyman realized he'd locked his fucking keys in his car. What happened was I put Tuna in the car in his Taco Bell traveling cup, but didn't want him to swelter while I was saying goodbye to Leslie so I reached in and cranked on the AC and then shut the door ... but not before remembering to lock it. So I stood outside of Leslie's for like 30 minutes as my gas ran out for 2 bucks a fucking gallon. Luckily, I had turned on the AC (although that was the problem in the first place) because Tuna would have died. So I remained calm.

I finally got on the road and made it to Brandon's house, and we went to the mall. I got to see where he works. Then we got all cute and headed out to the Pride Parade. I had no idea that it was pride, but whatever, I just go with the flow. Ran into my old pal Craig and my older pals Rossi and Brad, so that was cool. Danced the night away, but didn't get drunk. Today I drove back to Dallas amidst throngs of biking enthusiasts and it took almost 5 hours. Now its pouring rain and my first day of work is tomorrow. I'm nervous and should be in bed, but I wanted to fill everyone in on the last weekend of freedom I will ever experience ... well, until I get fired for going to work drunk. But hopefully that won't be for many days.

Wish me luck, I'm sure I'll update tomorrow with hilarious antics from the office ... Since now I have my degree, and I do engineering in my engineering office. Bah. Laaaaaaaaate you have nots.

Welcome to June, everybody. The date of my departure is nigh. I'm thinking I'm gonna go to Austin on Friday to stay with Leslie and hang out with Brandon and then head back to Dallas to await my start date. I have to be at work at 8am. This is going to be quite a challenge. The only way its going to possibly happen is if I'm in bed by 10pm. I'm not sure I'm ready for that lifestyle, though if you asked my body it would probably disagree. Who knows, though. Maybe work will just be a blast. I'm getting to do design instead of installation so that is good news.

Two nights ago, Allison and I got krunk on Coors and sat out back of Northgate drinking our free beer. On the way home, I was absolutely starving, as I've been saving money by only eating once a day whilst in College Station. We decided to stop through Whataburger (duh!). I just wanted to let you all know that this is a possibility, in case it had not occured to you previously. We got four bacon, egg and cheese AND sausage AND potato taquitos. Omega, get excited. They were incredible. And when I saw my friend who now recognizes me at Whataburger, I told her, "Oh yeah and also throw in a handful of fries for free." And she did! How fucking rad is that. I love her. I had to tell this story since there was a request for it on the last post.

You know what I was thinking about the other day? When you just kind of meet someone one day but don't really know them ... but every time you run into them you're obliged to say hello. And we call these people "Hi" buddies. Well when I'm online, I have "Hey. Sup? NM. Coo." buddies. Chew on that.

I just got back from my free hour and a half long full body massage, and I have to tell you, it was the best. I was so hungover this morning so I spent the day laying around waiting for my massage, and it just took care of every lingering symptom of hungoveredness. I got to do it because my friend Rob's mother works for the Austin School of Massage Therapy and they needed volunteers for students to practice on. Shit, sign me up. It was awesome, and totally free.

I've also been snacking on tons of free barbeque that Allison and I stole from a picnic she was invited to. The professor she TA's for does the study abroad program and was having a meeting since it's Parents' Weekend. After spending about 20 minutes driving around looking for the park that it was at, we realized that it was being held at the park that my apartment faces, a stone's throw away. That was kind of embarassing but we soon lost inhibitions as the beer was free. And we'd already spent our afternoon at Bourbon Street Bar and Grill drinking martinis for a dollar a pop. What an awesome day. So there we were with a cooler full of beer and three plates full of meat walking back to my apartment giggling.

Then it was off to the drag show, which was awesome. Brian did such a good job as Britney dancing to Slave. Good stuff. I was already drunk so I didn't spend any money on booze ... I maintained by buzz by sipping off of other people's drinks when they weren't looking. And yes, they were all people I know. I'm not that big of an alchy. Anyway, Lesbie Ann is still in town so I'm gonna follow her tonight, more than likely ending up at Halo. Good times. Czech you all later.

The onset of Spring Break is upon us, my dear viewers. Shortay! We fend to go to the club and get krunk with Britney. I started off the break by taking a brief jaunt to Austin with some friends. Raul knew of a couple of birthday parties there that we could attend, so we did just that with Marshall (very much against his will) and David27 in tow. After a late start, we made really good time to Austin ... due in no small part to my superior navigation skills.

We stopped off at Jenny's apartment to get ready. It was her birthday party we would eventually end up at. She was very sweet to let us not only take over her bedroom and bathroom on her birthday evening, but spend the night on her floor. After primping, fighting over the hat, and a couple hearty belts of whiskey, we were on our way to our first destination. It was Tracy's 18th birthday, and it was being held at an apartment with a very large enclosure for around 30 mice/gerbil things. I don't know, but there were rodents in the living room ... and an injured baby squirrel in a box. Charming. Chris was there. And despite having called to make sure I was going to be in attendance, seemed less than enthused that I had come. The keg was Shiner but since Marshall doesn't drink beer, he was becoming increasingly despondent, so we had to act fast. Raul, the responsible driver, decided he wanted to get drunk, so 27 was at the helm.

Jenny's party was at a large house with two kitchens. There were green lights everywhere, and a person blowing fire and spinning large sticks on fire in the backyard. He never once caught the damn thing ... sub-par at best. But there was an ample supply of liquor, and we all partook in it greatly. 27 got drunk. It was the first time I'd ever seen him drink enough to get drunk, and let's just say it was interesting. Leslie is coming into town on Friday and he has promised to give us another show on that night. Brandon was party hopping around town during this time and was able to drop off at our party for a little bit to say hello. I haven't seen that kid in damn near a year. He seemed rather pleased to see me as well.

While Marshall, 27 and I got drunk, Raul sobered up to take us home. He would NOT take us to Whataburger on the way home even though it was totally on the way. If you know me, you know that I simply must have a bacon, egg 'n cheese taquito before bed when I'm drunk or heads roll. So 27 and I took the initiative, remembered where it was, and fucking walked there in the middle of the night. It was too much fun. We got a ride home though from two people who were also staying at Jenny's. When we woke up we ate at Macaroni Grill ... well, actually, Raul and Jenny ate. 27, Marshall and I just sat and drew on the table drinking water. I drew a delightful picture of me throwing up with my head in a toilet. I don't think the waitress liked me. The help never has a sense of humor, I swear!

Tonight we're taking it easy. I just woke up in time to watch Arrested Development, the best TV show every made. I think Marshall, Justin and Thommi are on their way over to 27's to watch some movie called Waking Life. I think its a fucked up movie, but who knows, there's a chance I would enjoy it. I'll keep you all posted. If anybody has something ultra fun to do this week, be sure to invite me (and pay for me). Thanks.

This is more of a pity update than anything. I realize that I haven't been very dedicated to the SVC this week even though a lot has happened. I have much to break down for you, but for now let's just hit the highlights. First, and foremost, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LESLIE! I tried to call her today and see how she was durrin, but she didn't answer. Hope it was wonderful. Tomorrow is Allison's birthday which will have me occupied for the whole night, if not the whole day as well.

The symphony was pretty cool. They played selections from Tchaikovsky and Chopin. The piano was beautiful. I dunno though... she was called the 'Nora Jones' of classical piano. I think that was completely inaccurate. She was just a really accomplished pianist ... and was impregnito at the same time. Now that takes talent.

This weekend was all about mixing business and pleasure. We had our mid-term presentation for my senior project today. We really weren't prepared for it so I spent almost every waking hour of the weekend working on designing a couple of printed circuit boards for our project. I managed to slip out in time to get drunk both Friday and Saturday, which was a blessing. I even kept myself under control, which I got a lot of props for ... getting props for not falling down drunk ... sign #236 you are an alcoholic.

Anyway, I won't keep you in suspense. Our presentation went really well. It's over now. My head hurts. My shoulders hurt. Yet I have a beer and 27 is on his way. Things are definitely looking up. More on that ... after this.

I'm not sure how it happens, but week after week I manage to find myself in hilarious situations that always involve mass consumption of alcoholic beverages. Last night I found myself shitcanned at Halo once again. Aaron was working downstairs and I guess he was bored or something. He was making my cape cods completely out of vodka. I only had 3 drinks the whole time we were there and I was fall-down drunk. He also made us some shots just to pass the time. I played two games of pool with Surge. I haven't played pool in so long. I scratched on the 8 ball in the first game, and won the second. Not too shabby.

I'm not real clear on the details of leaving the club, but I know that Leslie, Marshall, and I all went to David#27's house. He drove my car with Leslie in the backseat. After a brief stop on the side of the road for yours truly to regurgitate the evening, we arrived at our destination. Now I remember Marshall and Leslie being with us, but when I woke up this morning the apt was empty. I asked David#27 where they were and he said, "Well, Marshall is in my roommate's bed and Leslie slept in your car." WHAT?! It was like 11:00 by this point and Leslie always wakes up earlier. The kicker was that David#27 had brought her purse in so no one would steal it, so she had no keys, no phone, and no idea which apt we were in. Hilarious.

As soon as I figured out what had happened, I rushed downstairs to get her. She was sitting ever so calmly in the backseat. When I tapped on the window her only response was to turn and flick me off. She was freezing even though David#27 (after desperately trying to convince her to come inside, and making a meager attempt to drag her ass out of the car) had given her a pillow and a blanket. Hilarious. I laughed so hard this morning as we rehashed the events leading up to it. That's really the best thing that happened all night, even though a lot else happened.

Happy Valentine's Day, sluts. Take your date to the Olive Garden.

I cured that whole problem with sobriety last night. Leslie and I went to dinner at the Outback. My steak was so rare and delicious. I'm getting misty thinking about it again. Anyway, we had a bottle of wine with dinner and it was so good that Leslie decided we needed to drink wine. Since 'moderation' is a word that exists in none of our vocabularies, we went ahead and bought 18 bottles of wine, and then set about trying to finish them off. We got on the horn and invited a few people over. According to eye witness testimony, I passed out around 2am. I know that somewhere around 5, I randomly awoke, popped up off the floor, drank some more with the people who were still around, and then went to bed around 7.

For my alcoholic apptitude, I was awarded with a massive wine hangover. Tommy, Leslie, and I went to lunch at Olive Garden and it was all I could do to keep from hurling as my lasagna sat on a plate in front of me. To make it even worse, Leslie was drinking wine. We only polished off 12 bottles the night before, so when we got home, her and Tommy set to drinking again. I couldn't. I had to fall asleep in the recliner for a while. Then we watched Uptown Girls. You have got to see this movie, it was so excellent. I fucking loved it. I'm gonna watch it again tomorrow. Well then people came over and brought with them ... you guessed it ... 10 bottles of wine. Omega. I could not bring myself to drink, and stayed sober the entire night. All I had was 2 glasses of water.

In other news, if you have tried to call me in the past couple of days you might have noticed that my phone is dead. It ran out of battery like two days ago, and I left my charger over at Aaron's apartment when we were getting ready one night, and now he left town until Thursday. I was able to break into his apartment and get a shirt I left over there, but I forgot to grab my phone charger. Long story short, I hate my phone so much anyway, and I'm not gonna miss any important calls, so I'm not worried about the charger. I'll get it when I get it. Hope it hasn't been too much of a hassle for anyone. If it is, you should have been IMing me anyway. It is way past time for bed now. Peace out home fries.

Remind me never to go out sober again. God, what a dumb thing to do. It was still fun, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't like riotous fun like usual. And all my friends were drunk, which is fine by me, I'm hardly one to complain, but motivating drunk people to do anything (i.e. leave the bar) is next to impossible. So we didn't end up getting home until like 3am and then we watched Splash. What a good movie.

In other news, I had the most delightful email the other day that truly made me feel special. It was from none other than our good friend Dennis DiClaudio. You might recognize his name from the Grammar Cop section of my website. I don't know how he found me, but he did and he sent me this message:

hi,
just wanted to email you quickly and let you know how honored i am that you've quoted me on your website. when i found that, i went around smiling for three days straight.
thanks a lot,
dennis diclaudio

How cool is that? I would email him back and let him know, but I still don't have outgoing email. I could totally get my outgoing POP server information from the people who do our internet here, but I am far too lazy and they are far too inept to even deal with. I hate email anyway. I think Leslie and I are going to go to the mall and return some shit and then meet up with Justino to chaw on some steaks. You all wish you were me. Ciao suckers.

I don't even know where to begin. I had intended to make a large post detailing the cruise, but instead I'm just going to say that it was a total blast. 5 days was enough for me to be on a boat though. Cozumel and Calica, the two places we got off the boat, were both beautiful and warm. I drank a lot. Surprise!

Then I came home for a couple of days, and then had to hop in the Cavy and drive back to Dallas for my dentist appointment. I hadn't been to the dentist in over two years so I was sure there was going to be a cavity or something, but I was wrong. My teeth were perfect. They took like an assload of x-rays though. I met up with Chevy while I was in Plano cause I was at Starbucks by myself and I was bored. She was kind enough to keep me company. I've only met her in person once before, so all of our communication has been via the internet, mostly from my webpage. She's an avid reader. So she decided to ask me if I wear the 'foxhawk' a lot. Foxhawk. She saw fauxhawk and read it foxhawk. I was aghast. Just so everyone is clear on this issue, it's pronounced 'fo-hawk' like 'mo-hawk' but fake. Makes a lot more sense, doesn't it? Foxhawk ... Then, I came home to College Station after having dinner with my parents at the Cheesecake Factory. Yum.

Since then I've been doing a lot of drinking. Leslie and I have been the best looking people at the club two nights in a row, and its about to be three. On Thursday night we gave her a foxhawk like a picture of Carmen Electra that she has. I put a handful of pomade in her hair to make it all dirty. It was so cool. And then she went and got her hair cut in this stair step chop cut thing. Its hard to explain, but it is so cool and original. We got new outfits to accompany her new hair. I found some badass shirts at Express that were on clearance. Bonus. I showed up to lunch today with James since he was kind enough to carry me home last night and give me a couch to sleep on. What a good friend. I'm supposed to be out with friends right now but I feel like ass and I'm probably just gonna lay on the couch instead. Hope all is going well for all of you. Ciao.

So I was supposed to go to Houston on Thursday to take pictures of furniture for my uncle, but he never got around to telling me when or where I needed to be. And Leslie had purchased a new outfit for the occasion at eluxury, but they fucked up her expressed shipping so that got ruined as well. I woke and messaged her to see if she still wanted to go to Houston just for the hell of it, and she totally did. So we stopped off at McAllisters (If you haven't tried this place yet, you are missing out. Make sure you get the tea, its incredible) for a quick lunch and then hit the highways for H-town.

We probably got to the Galleria around 4, I don't really remember. I only say that because I think we left around 3. Regardless, the first thing we did was go to Niemans to try and find the outfit that Les had tried to order online. Tweeds are so in right now, but I didn't really care for any of them. We never found the exact outfit she wanted, and while it was a different kind of tweed, I still think she might not have liked it in person when she got it. So we decided to hell with that. She ended up getting a sassy black dress with some flowers patterned onto it ... and a black shawl. She was looking gooood last night.

I went to Saks because I was bound and determined to buy myself an appropriate pair of jeans. Les told me that Sevens were the way to go, and she couldn't have been more right. These jeans are so comfortable and look so good on me. Then I bought a shirt and a sweater at Express to round out the outfit. I also spent some time on my hair, something I haven't done since I got it cut. I was afraid that all the fun had been cut out of it, but I managed to get it into a really good fauxhawk. Needless to say, Leslie and I were the two best looking bitches in Halo. I was really happy that a lot of people commented on the outfit, since I am an attention whore.

Then afterwards we all went to Tommy's apartment. I had the goal of getting shitcanned and succeeded. I have no idea what time I fell asleep but I know that it was with my head on a table, and I woke up on the floor next to the chair. Thomas was sleepin on the ground so I went to his bed, and passed out whenever I realized I was on the floor. I guess everyone else left and Thomas went to work and stuff, who knows. I woke up when he got home from work like 12 hours later. It felt so good to just sleep and sleep and sleep as much as I fuckin wanted to. I am totally refreshed. I think I may go Goth tonight.

Welcome Sidesho-Viewers. Today I greet you all from the interior of Club 511, my new home away from home. I've been all about the firsts lately, so I thought I would give Ms. Leslie B■■■■■ the honor of watching me whilst I update. She is, naturally, one of my most loyal viewers, and most deserving of this. We are closing out my 32nd hour of being awake. It's been a long ass time since I've been awake for this long, and I can't say that its entirely enjoyable. However, the many beers of Leslie's that I've drank and the 'martin-ay' that I drank at Chili's are helping to take the edge off just a tad.

This is the second time this week that I have stayed awake to watch the sun rise due to school. I fuckin hate school, but its over now and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I was totally supposed to go to work today but hahahahaha. So when I finally finished my paper this afternoon around 12:30 I decided to check my email. After that, it was most definitely time to get drunk with Leslie so I woke her ass up and invited myself over.

Now I find myself nestled on the most comfortable couch with far too many people. I vowed to LESLIE, Rick, and Ty, that I would stay up and party until we go to Northgate to watch Aaron dunk his ring and Josh re-dunk his right (What? who does that?). I will do my best, and I'm a total trooper. Ms. B■■■■■ and I (who together comprise B■■■■■'s Photogrizzaphs) are supposed to sojourn to Houston tomorrow to take some pictures of office furniture. My uncle resales the shit, but me being the artist I am totally have an idea to, like, sell the shit out of this stuff. We're gonna have Leslie pose erotically on top of all the furniture. It's GOLD!

Leslie totally has a wireless router inside her apartment which has totally allowed me the mobility to continue updating despite the fact that we have travelled outside the confines of Club 511. I am now smoking while updating ... Another first! I completely feel (and look, as was confirmed by Leslie) like Carrie Bradshaw. Is it really our inner selves that dictate our relationships or are we all just playing the inner child?

I have to go now before I have any more fun, because there is much more to be had as the night progresses. Hopefully, I'll be awake and cognizant for all of it. Catch you sluts on the flip side. Peace out, have nots.

I have been putting off this blog for some time now. I have to talk about Thanksgiving. Part of the reason I was stalling was because I had to find out all that happened that night. I couldn't remember the last part of the celebration. Whoops. Anyway, it was quite riotous and out of control, just the way the holidays should be.

I cleaned my house all day long in between preparing the turkey, and had it spotless by the time AllieD, the first guest arrived. Shortly thereafter, Ryan and Todd came. By the end of the night, the meal consisted of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, bread, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole ... and taco salad. Ha! Gotta love pot luck. Let me see if I can run down the guest list without forgetting anyone and irrepairably damaging our relationship: AllieD, Jamey, Allison, Ryan, Todd, Leslie, Josh, Ryan, Josh, Kyle, Aaron, Ty, Rick, Bob, Antwat, Trey and Thomas. That's the best my faded memory can do. It was a lot of people. Then there were the 14 other guests ... each one a different empty bottle of wine. Yeah, we drank 14 bottles of wine ... as well as a box of Franzia ... and a 30 pack of Stones ... and a couple cases of Bud ... and a bottle of expensive scotch.

Needless to say it was a whole helluva a lot of fun. The next morning I woke up feeling wonderful, but soon discovered I was just still drunk. Later on the hangover hit me and I spent the day throwing up. But it did wonders for my abs. You should have seen the kitchen. It totally should have been deemed a bio hazard and demolished. We're talkin food everywhere, like turkey grease and shit. Wine stains on everything. Dishes piled high all filled with leftovers. Broken glass galore.

We broke 2 glasses and one bottle of wine. I only saw one glass get broken ... the other two must have happened outside since there are shards of proof. Aaron and Trey got towed. Aaron got hit in the face with a wine bottle? Antwat got taken advantage of in the back room. Somebody stuck novelty fingernails on my right hand ... and there's a pair of handcuffs on my bathroom sink. My toe is all but broken. I woke up next to Allison wearing more clothes than I had remembered. Somebody stole some DVDs from me.

I will never drink wine again. Thanksgiving was absolutely insane but totally fun. Can't wait to do it again whenever that holiday happens to roll around. Then I had to get serious cause I had two finals on Friday. I bombed the first one and did alright on the second one. The second one was Control Systems, and it was only two questions, but took me the full 2.5 hours and I didn't finish. Cra-zy. Then I went home for a spell, got dinner with Kyle at Rumors since he's goin home in a couple days, and then started working on documentation. We have huge documents due on Monday. Sucks. I should be working on them right now, but I didn't want to leave you all in suspense any longer. I'll be so much happier when all of this is done.

Last night was pretty tame. I sat around most of the night not really doing anything. You'd never guess by my behavior that finals are right around the corner. There was a party going on over at Julius's apartment last night that a lot of my friends were at. So my phone was ringing off the hook with people telling me to get over there. Which is flattering, but you all know how I feel about my phone ringing. Eventually Dustin and Trey came to get me, because I kept stalling.

I didn't go out earlier because I was over at Allison's looking at her new baby dog, Colby, whom I call Winky. This dog is cute and nice, but has a gimp eye, and a crazy streak. He kept spinning full speed and barking at the ceiling and then ramming his nose into the ground. And he sleeps with his head propped up on his nose. Too funny. I'm sure she'll be thrilled that I'm making fun of her new dawg.

So anyway, I eventually ended up at Julius's around the time the alcohol ran out. I had one cup of punch ... just enough to turn my tongue blue so I would fit in with everyone else. Naturally, I ran into Leslie, Rick, Ryan, Thomas, KYLE, Josh and Josh, among others, and have to mention them. However, I decided to put a little twist on their sudden SVC fame. Since I talk about them so much and there are so many names to remember, they will henceforth be referred to as The SideshoGang.

So I was standin outside talking with the SideshoGang when Leslie decided to tell me that my story about my first time on the internet wasn't funny. I don't know where she got the idea that this was an open forum, but nonetheless, she offered up her negative feedback. She redeemed herself only by laughing at my interpretation of Britney Spears "Me Against the Music" where I wonder why she's always singing about getting a p'zone. Speaking of, that does sound kind of delicious. But back to my story. Josh and Ryan scored points for the SideshoGang by saying the story was, indeed, funny, so they're back to a collective par. Way to go, gang!

I got woken up this morning at 4:00pm by Josh and Ryan telling me to open my front door. So I did and they shared gossip and stories from last night. One of the stories was that Ryan had spilled a big coke on his lap on the drive home, and had drenched his phone in soda. So it was not functioning today. He had a Nokia phone from T-Mobile, so I went into my room and got my old Nokia phone and said he could have it if he wanted. Because all you have to do is insert your memory card into a phone and it works as yours. His away message right now said that he was so excited about his new phone that he's going to name it SideshoViD. I wonder if that has anything to do with the front screen already displaying SideshoViD. Either way, I'm still flattered. Its like I gave birth to my own baby boy, only he's a gigantic baby boy who smokes and says 'shit' a lot. Y'know?

I was trying to update my webpage today, but I was at a complete loss for something to say. My notepad file full of future blog ideas has been destroyed (more on that later) so I was just kind of sitting around waiting for something blogworthy to happen to me. I was at a little get together last night over at Aaron's apartment drinkin some beers. Leslie, Ryan B., Josh, Rick, Josh, Thomas, Bob and Kyle were all there. These are the bitches who call me "Sidesho" in real life, so if I hang out with them and don't mention them, I know I'm gonna hear about it.

Anyway, it was good times, but left me feeling less than motivated today. Not hungover, just blah. So I didn't go to work. Instead I decided to go get my laptop fixed by the good people at Best Buy. Unfortunately, they told me what I already knew. I had to reformat. I am not really losing any precious data since everything I've done is backed up, I am losing some pictures and things I wanted, but no big deal, being a digital packrat is one of my least desirable qualities. What I am losing is hours worth of installation on a myriad of software, all of which I used very regularly both in school and work. That is going to be the worst part.

So my sick little laptop is lying in bed right now getting some AC power and reformatting himself. Poor thing, I hope he feels better once we get him up and running again. Dear god, I hope I can find my Windows XP CD. Anyway, now the serendipitous part of the story. I'm driving home on the backroads because I despise left turns ... so I'm taking Lincoln over to Munson. I knew they were residential streets so I was going like 30. Well, it turns out Munson's speed limit is actually 25, and there is a cop sitting there obviously waiting for people like me to drive by. I really wasn't surprised when I saw him turn around and come after me. I like never intentionally speed, but I seem to get pulled over a lot more than a person should. But I never get in trouble so whatever.

So I pulled over, and he was very nice. He asked for my license and registration. My registration was like a year expired, so I was like, "Oh god no, I have a current one, I'm sorry." And I hand him another without looking and he goes, "This one is two years expired." So we kind of laughed and I said, "Well I know for a fact there is a current one in here, just lemme find it." I eventually did. He issued me a formal warning for going 34 in a 25 ... which granted was over the ridiculously slow speed limit, but the cop was like, "I need you to slow it down out there, Mr. F■■■■." But if I slowed it down any more, I'd be idling.

I went out last night. Nothing unexpected. Marshall didn't have anything better to do so he went with me. I decided it was a Jack on the rocks night. Yum. We stayed til almost 3 and then Marshall dropped me off at Raul's for an after party. Oh man, it was fun as always. All the usual suspects were there. Well, pardon me for yadda yadda-ing, but yadda yadda yadda I haven't been to bed yet. But, as I was getting a ride home from Nick this morning around 8, I had a voicemail from Leslie's phone. Her friend was desperately searching for his keys because he had to be in Houston or something. He didn't know what to do because everyone was passed out, he was keyless and upset, so he started goin down the call list. Apparently he had left his keys in a dark brown jacket, the very jacket I had happened to comment on on my way out of Raul's.

I was nice, and I called him back and left a message saying that the coat was there, no worries. And he called back as soon as I got home, got some meat 'n cheese in my belly and took a shower. He was pretty distraught about the whole situation and called his situation 'dire' so I rose to the occasion. Despite the fact that I was about to lay down to a much anticipated slumber, I got in my car and drove over to Leslie's to pick up a perfect stranger and drive him back from whence I'd come. When we got there, his jacket was sitting right where I'd seen it, complete with a set of keys. He was overjoyed; however, Raul was now distraught. Apparently, when I'd left this morning, I hadn't quite closed the door and Terysa's prized cat had escaped and was nowhere to be found. I felt pretty bad since I was the last person to leave so it obviously had to be my fault.

My passenger was not concerned in the least, having developed an unhealthy affinity for yours truly. "Just let him go look for 5 minutes and he'll find him," he boasted about me. I was like, no no no, I am definitely not looking for any cat right now, let's go. So, I opened the door, and out the corner of my eye, downstairs, I saw the fucking cat. I was overjoyed. "There's the cat," I stated matter-of-factly. It took zero effort to coax the cat to run full speed into the apartment, and I had two awestruck compatriots throwing their praise at me. Sometimes it ain't so bad playin' the nice guy. Now, it is WAY past due for me to go to sleep. Ciao bellas.

I'm watching this interview with Michael Jackson. It's pretty unreal. I don't know, though. I kinda feel bad for the guy because he's obviously out of touch with reality, and you can't really blame him for being insane. Although, as I'm watching how people react to his presence everywhere he goes around the entire world, I can't help but think that he might be jesus. I mean, how many people do you know that can reduce a person to tears just by being 50 feet away? I'm sure most of you won't agree with me, especially based on the recent events. Just don't forget: jesus loved the little children.

I didn't really do anything today. I was out last night drinkin' some beers with Leslie, Josh, Rick and Steve when I got a call from Raul saying that Chris was over at Terysa's (how is that for some name dropping). So I went to chill with Chris since he left town this morning and won't be back until the Christmas break. That was a good time. When I got home, my stomach was kind of queasy, so I took a phenergin. That was a bad idea, since you're not supposed to mix it with alcohol, really. But that's just a suggestion. So, I ended up catching roughly 15 hours of sleep while missing class and work today. Whoopsadaisy. I spent the evening cooking some meat 'n cheese for me and Ryan and then preparing the mac 'n cheese for Thanksgiving at AllieD's tomorrow. Not sure what else I'm gonna do tonight. Thomas might come over and watch a DVD. I should buy a boat.

My life is a perpetual hangover. I would go into more detail on that statement and get philosophical, but you all know that is not what this webpage is about. What is it about?

Well, last night Dustin and Trey came over for an ice cream party. I had a craving the other night for raspberries. I may or may not have revealed this little fact before, but I will do anything for raspberries. If you're ever at the bargaining table with me, money's not very effective ... bring raspberries. I knew they were out of season, so they were a tad expensive, but they were sooo worth it. I brought them home and threw a handfull of sugar on top of them, and they just melt into this raspberry sludge that made me giddy. So, I bought some ice cream and put the berries on top.

Dustin, being Dustin, brought a bottle of wine with him and we sipped on that til it was gone, and then decided to go out. I got drunk and ended up leaving with Raul and Terysa and partying back at Terysa's crib. It was a lot of fun, but I woke up hungover again and my throat is on fire. I hadn't smoked all last week and it is amazing how quickly your throat gets acclimated to not being singed every hour. I met a bunch of people last night. Raul mentioned SideshoViD.com. Anytime people find out that I have a webpage, they immediately want to be on it. Even if they've never seen it and don't know the url. This was the case with Brandon, but I promised him, nonetheless, that I would mention him. Ryan Byrd showed up at the shindig as well. It's never a party without him. And Josh Sievers seems to think I don't talk about him enough, which is probably true. And naturally, if I mention Josh I don't want Leslie to get jealous. They were both out at the club last night, and its always a pleasure to run into them (don't worry, they're okay).

On another note, the money is still up for grabs. The picture that Sean got was of a guy with a really long braided rat tail. The guy deserves our derision, but he is not Padawan Boy. So keep snapping pictures! I didn't want Sean to feel bad, so I thought I would include his picture anyway. Nice shot, btw, especially considering it was taken with a phone.

Last little note: Thanksgiving is set for December 10th. That is the Wednesday in two weeks, aka the first day of the Dead Days this semester. You are all invited, however, I would appreciate it if you would let me know if you want to come. And in order to get in the door you have to contribute something to the feast. If you don't cook, a loaf of bread, a bottle of wine, a case of beer ... all these are appropriate. I might also need another fold-out table or some chairs. That would depend on who is coming. I just can't make as many sides this year because I have a small crappy kitchen, whereas this summer we had a big kitchen and 3 of them right next to each other to use. It will still rule though because my turkeys are the best. Hope to see most of you there!

I managed to make it through the entire weekend only spending $3 on ground chuck and frozen broccoli. I can make a mean meal with that and a handful of salt. I still need to go to the grocery store, but I'm allowed to now since I made it the entire week without spending any money. This was made possible in no small way by all of the generous friends I have. I have to thank Danny, Mark, and LESLIE (who specifically requested that her name appear in all caps). I also told Rick that I would mention him, and he claimed I would forget. But since I remembered, I think that should mean he owes me a drink.

That was on Thursday night. The same night that I decided to tote along my jug of tequila just in case I didn't get drunk enough. God, I love tequila, and tequila loves me. Which worked out for the best because I was still a little hungover on Friday night, and didn't feel the need to drink anything but club soda. Besides, I had that damn Santa beard on again, and its pretty hard to drink with. There were so many people out at Halo tho that it got unseasonably warm in there and I eventually ditched the wig and beard. Craig and I were hangin out together that night and we ended up going to a party at Arash's with Mark, but we didn't get over there until about 3am at which point everyone was pretty much passing out.

Last night Ryan had promised me that he would buy the beer, and then Trey called me and told me he'd bought Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit DVD Edition, so we transplanted our party over to Treys. It was a lot of fun to play. Its not something I'm used to to play a game of Trivial Pursuit and actually know the answer to some of the questions. That makes it a lot more fun and it makes the game go a lot faster.

I feel like maybe I forgot to do something this weekend since it was so much fun. I mean I skipped class and work and all that good stuff, but that doesn't usually nag me. Maybe I'm just feeling withdrawls of spending. Well anyway, I hope everyone else had a wonderful Halloween as well. If you've got a funny story to share, please do. Peace out, you have-nots.

Happy birthday, Adrian! I feel like I know you already.

I don't often take requests, but this one was just far too precious to ignore. I was out at the club last night, having some drinkie drinkies, when I run into Leslie (don't worry, she's okay). We got to talking and she was telling me how she didn't want me to think she's psychotic since I really don't know her, but that she really does read my website every morning. I'm like a low fat vanilla soy latte. So anyway, I told her I would mention her again since she got so giddy the first time.

So I woke up this morning at James's apartment. Motherfucker did not drive home last night. I went over to Dustin and Trey's to try and find a way back to my car. Dustin ran me over there (yeah, it would have been faster to drive). So I picked up my car (I'm pretty strong) and came home. And now I'm about to hop in the shower (which is so dangerous). I'll see you bitches later. Costume par-tay tomorrow whooo.

Oh yeah, and just as a footnote ... any of you who were jealous of me for paying off my credit cards in full last month can have the last laugh now that my account is overdrawn nearly $750. Whoopsadaisy.

Just a quick note to let you all know that I am going to Dallas ... again. This time it is for Allison's brother's wedding. I'm not real big on weddings, but I sure do like free booze. I should actually be on the road already, but I'll be there soon enough. I might have to speed cause the weddings at 4. Shit happens.

I went out again last night with Dustin and Trey and their friend Josh. It was a lot of fun. The reason I mention this is because ended up back at their place and our friend Ryan Byrd came over. (This is a new Ryan, I gotta quit making new Ryans.) Anyway, he got a phone call and says "I'm over here with Dustin, and Trey, and David ... I mean SideshoViD." So naturally my ears perk up and I ask who's on the other end that would recognize me as SideshoViD. It was his friend Leslie whom I've met a couple of times. She said she goes to my website "every five minutes." So to thank her, a loyal Sidesho-Viewer, I thought I'd give her a shoutout. Big ups, Les.

Beat the hell outta Baylor. My prediction: Aggies 38 Baptists -7.