Joseph W is mentioned in 28 posts, which ranks #15 overall for people. They are most often associated with these...

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I'm really diggin' this ClustrMaps thing I have going on. I want to thank Joseph for emailing me about it. Looks like the Sidesho is a lot more popular on the east coast than the west. Should I mold my brand of humor to benefit my already strong demographic? You know, make jokes about the Atlantic ocean n stuff. Or maybe I should be focusing on trying to bring up the readership in states I don't already have an uncompromising strong-hold on. Perhaps I'll start with Utah. Haha, fucking Mormons. They're all insane, did you know that? It's like the perfect blend of xristianity and Scientology. They think jebus will fly them a spaceship and drop their asses off on their own planet where they'll be free to engage in secret handshakes and secret tacky underwear without being under the watchful eye of rational people. joey smith bless 'em, they're all fucking mad!

Well that was tangential. My hungover posts tend to be a bit more random than the sober ones. My brother's wife's brother was supposed to come get my old couch, oh, 6 weeks ago. I was going to donate it but as a personal favor to him, I held onto it. It's totally cluttering my apartment. He couldn't find a truck so I gave him 3 weeks to do so, after which my brother's wife had to go to the hospital for a bit and her brother went to Houston to help out. So then I felt bad and had to give him an extension on picking it up. But that was like 3 weeks ago, so I've had this shit for a WHILE. On Thursday, the Salvation Army is coming by to get it. I can't wait to get my entryway back.

Went out on the yacht again on Thursday. I left work early and met the troops. They pulled into port to pick me up and were just gonna swing by the dock, I'd make a running leap onto the boat and we'd speed out of there. No need to park or any of that nonsense. So they pulled up, I jumped on and we sped off ... right into a sandbar. Luckily the lake was deserted, because we were fucking stuck. It was pretty funny but we couldn't laugh because Alexander was getting pissed. After about 20 minutes of revving the engines in reverse and kicking up a ton of dirt in the water, we finally got out on the lake. They had blown up a little 3-seater raft and were dragging it behind the boat. I rode it for a while. It was hella fun but I'm not much of a thrill seeker so I got back on the boat and let Kelly take my place. Next time we do that, I'm gonna go ahead and suggest we all have life vests on. As much as I'd hate a life vest tan, Jordan almost died. We hit this huge wave, Daniel threw up, and Jordan went limp, airborn, and under. It was scary and funny. He said he didn't remember falling out and woke up in the lake. Luckily he was okay. Not too much else happened -- oh, except that I can officially say I've been skinny dipping in Lake Lewisville. No details!

So I haven't worked out in like a month. Don't know why, I'm just lazy and can't get back into it. I was really concerned when I went the other day (isolated incident) that I would have gained back all that weight I worked so hard to lose. But I weighed myself ... and I lost three more pounds!!!1! Do you believe that shit? This "eating right" malarky must really work. g*d, I eat so much more than I used to. I usually have at least 6 meals a day and they're all packed with nutritional goodness. That makes a grand total of 21 pounds lost from the time I started eating right. I don't think you could have looked at me a few months ago and said "hey fatty mcfatfatfat fuckfat, lose some weight." Like I don't think I looked that fat, but fuck me, I look good now. I don't even think I weighed this little when I graduated college. Rawk.

Let's see, let's see, what else can I brag about. Oh! I think I might be an amazing cook. The other day I was in the grocery store and randomly decided to cook dinner for Daniel. I think all he ever eats is fast food junk food, and he's been having problems with his stomach so I thought a home cooked meal would be good for him. I roasted a g*ddamned chicken! Do you believe that shit? I like stuffed it with onions and celery and put a dry rub on it of salt, pepper, all spice, and cinnamon. And I baked it for 2 hours, and basted it every 20 minutes. It was so insane. I'm a masterbaster. It came out like perfect. Its the best chicken I've ever had. And on top of that, the whole bird was 6 dollars, and I got two very large dinner portions and a whole heaping plate of leftovers. I'm going to roast a bird once a week from now on. If we'd stop going out for oysters and wood fired lobster maybe I'd actually get a chance to eat some of my chicken delight.

I think that should be enough for now. I'm heading to my parents' house to watch World Cup Soccer with my brother Michael. He is in from California. His daughter Kelsey is THE cutest thing on Earth (perfectly tied with Kaylyn and Ann Marie). Then I get to have dinner with Miss Allison "Google" H■■■■■■. What a great day. Oh and my sister called. She is having a boy! Two nephews coming soon! Later skillets.

Well hello there, everybody. This is Sidesho reporting to you live from Ryan S■■■'s fabulously newly painted apartment ... oh, and also drunk as hail. He was supposed to wake up and drink more with me when I got home but that has proven unpossible. Me fail English?

So tonight I had planned on going out on account that I do not have to work tomorrow. RAWK! But then, lo and behold, I get a call from the callbox of my apartment and it is JennyC■■■ and her mother. They had been at the Kaboom Town hoopla hosted by my gracious landlord and wanted to cool off. Okay, no problem. But then they managed to convince me to join them for the fireworks. More and more, as the years pass, I have found myself less and less interested in the traditional festivities dictacted by every holiday. I couldn't have cared less whether or not I saw fireworks. (Although fireworks do hold a special place in my heart since when I was little my parents used to tell me that the fireworks were in honor of my birthday.) So, I find myself on the top floor of a parking garage watching fireworks. In their defense, it was the best finale I have ever seen in my life. Probably 5 fireworks a second for about 5 minutes. RAD!

After that, we eat at a piss-poor restaurant inside Addison Circle and then I go home. Turns out, every fucking road in Addison is a parking lot. At this point, I've resolved myself to not go out, on account that I cannot leave the parking garage. A few IMs with Ryan S■■■ later, I am on the road bound for downtown Dallas. It was rigoddamndiculous getting to the Tollway, but when I finally did, we were en route to JRs. Keith and Lauren and some girl named Katie that I met for the first time tonight (?) joined us. I managed to get drunk as hail between 12:30 and 2:00am. But that couldn't possibly be enough for me, right? Right?!

So I took Ryan S■■■ home to his beatiful and newly painted apartment and proceeded to drink some more when disaster struck. We are out of cigarettes! Unacceptable when plastered. So he goes to bed and I walk my happy ass to the 24-7 Wally Mart nearby to get some. I talked to my lover Marshall the whole way there. That was fun since I haven't talked to him in 4-eva, and he claims to have blonde hair now. So anyway, I bought some squares, as Joseph would call them, and then walked home to find Ryan - surprise - passed the fuck out and me drinking alone.

So there we are. By my records, I have made zero grammatical mistakes. You're more than welcome to double check that assertion. You'll notice that when I'm drunk I just ramble; I don't skimp on the important stuff. Please don't forget that my birthday is on Wednesday. No one that I know of has made any plans for me, so I think I'm going to take Thursday off of work and go out Wednesday with Andrew. I'll definitely keep you all posted on that. Later sk8ers!

It's been a while since I've addressed you, dear plebians. Rest assured I have missed you all. Like I said in my last post, Brandon came to town. I missed that kid. We hung out and watched TV even though he despises TV. We got drunk, we went out, good times, good times. He had to leave earlier than expected to go to a job interview at Central Market so hopefully he'll get that job.

That same night I watched Keith dunk his ring. He did it in 22 seconds. What a champ. And I thought I was a seasoned alcoholic, here this rookie showed mjoe up by 43 seconds. Excelsior! We went to Northgate afterwards and Joseph met up with us. Keith ended up going home early so Joseph and I split off and sat and chatted over chuggers at Duddleys. Then we went to Antonio's, that new pizza place on Northgate. This guy wanted to cut in line for the bathroom because he had to go, and if he went before us, he would surely get laid by some girl who was waiting on him. So, being the kind hearted gentlemen we are, we told him he could cut in front of us if he could impress us through dance. Bless his little liver, he started cuttin' the rug in order to pee before us. Naturally I was saying things like, "No man, if you want to cut you've got to TURN IT ON!" and instead of doing anything different he just did the same moves faster. Classic.

We caught a serendiptious ride home from Christina Lee. Joseph proceeded to chug squeezy vodka screwdrivers like they were going out of style. He got so drunk that he threw up whilst sleeping on my couch giving me a delightful bright yellow stain and filling my apartment with the aroma of vomit and bile. He also opened the front door wide, for some unexplained reason, and let in 10,000 flies that we cannot get rid of. Thanks Joey, 'preciate that.

The next night it was time to see Todd dunk his ring, but I got tied up at the greenhouse in Navasota and couldn't make it. He did it in 75 seconds, which thrilled me because that means I was faster. Anywho, I did meet up with them all later because I haven't seen Todd in forever, Ryan and DAvid were in town, and Fucking Frank was going to drink for the first time in years. It was riotously fun. I got so completely shitcanned. When I woke up this morning I was still drunk. I was also a tad confused as to why I wasn't wearing my underwear anymore, but then I remembered that I'd gotten in the hot tub that night. It was so hot in there, it was ridiculous.

I keep telling myself I am going to spend a quiet weekend at home with a good book (perhaps Glamarama that I haven't touched in weeks) but the ring thing forced me to go out this weekend. Damn social obligations. Perhaps next I will take myself up on my delightful offer. Peace out, have nots!

I have another installment for you all in the "Have you seen this person on campus before" files. Joseph actually suggested this one to me, which was funny because I'd already planned on blogging about this girl previously. But, since I always have my pulse on the heartbeat of my viewers, I upped this blog in the precedence of future blogs. So let us begin to paint the picture...

She's not a particularly beautiful girl, but I wouldn't say wholely unattractive. She is a slightly overweight African American. She doesn't really wear weird clothing, nor does she act in any inappropriate ways, but I bet you've all seen her before.

You would recognize her by the massive cape she wears. I mean a big ass medieval-style cloak. Its huge and appears to be some sort of purple crushed velvet. My favorite part about her is that she wears her backpack underneath the monstrocity, so when she walks by, it appears as though she has a massive ass, and it always makes me giggle.

So, if you have seen this girl on campus, talked to her, run into her, thrown something at her, etc, whatever, just hit me up with a comment and let me know about your experience. If you've seen her eating lunch with the Jedi padawan, you win double secret bonus points.

UPDATE: This was Joseph's idea and I liked it so much I had to post this addendum. If anyone can snap a picture of either cape girl or padawan boy and send it to me I will give you $50. Start up your freelance photography job at SideshoViD.com. With all the picture phones out there, I'm sure this can happen. Say CHEESE!

Walking back from Yoga I saw a large crowd of people gathered around the Sul Ross statue outside of the Academic Building. My curiosity piqued, I ventured closer to find out which insane right wing christian group was starting shit. The only reason I did so is because occasionally someone will be out there yelling the word "VAGINA!" and I love playing Vagina Day games. As I got closer, I recognized the all too familiar foul stench of Tom S■■■, nationally known campus speaker. My natural instincts are to turn and run from this man, not because I'm intimidated (although I've witnessed first hand his ability to talk his way out of any logical situation) but because I think the only way to send a message to him that he's not wanted is to ignore him, not argue with him. Arguing with him is just what he wants.

Against my better jugement, I decided to see if Owen was sitting out there listening to him. Owen has some sick fascination with Tom S■■■, as well as Mormons and his friend Adrian. Alas, he was not out there, but I made the mistake of coming within earshot long enough to hear him say something about homosexuals. Then I was stuck. Here's his story pretty ver batim (that means 'word for word,' Joseph).

"I was talking up at the University of Maryland one day and a young man who identified as gay said, Tom, do you think we should kill all the homosexuals? And I said we need to save them. And he said again, Tom, do you think we should kill all of the homosexuals? And again, I said that if they found Jesus etc, he said TOM, do you think we should kill all the homosexuals?

"And this went on for about a half an hour before I finally decided to address this young man's question directly. And I said yes, I think we should kill all of the homosexuals. But first, why don't we start with the young man that corrupted and perverted you, the one who made you think you were gay. And he stopped, and his face softened, and he said, you know, Tom, you're right."

WHAT?!?! WHO THE FUCK WOULD AGREE WITH THAT?! My god this man is a fucking idiot. I don't mind so much that one guy is a fucking worthless piece of shit beyond all reason and so entrenched in a 2000 year old fairy tale praying to Mother Goose that he should be fed to the lions, but I can't believe he is allowed to spread hate throughout the nation.

This man needs to learn that what he is doing is wrong. But since he knows how to work the free speech areas, we can't exactly silence him. So this is what I uncharacteristically suggest. If you see him, lets teach him that ignorance breeds intolerance, intolerance breeds hatred, hate begets hate, and hate begets violence. So if you see him, pick up a rock or something and throw it at his face. The more adamantly you know he's wrong, the bigger the rock should be. I gotta go now, I have some bricks to throw.

Hello esteemed colleagues, lesser-thans, and have nots. I would have loved to have updated you all sooner, but unfortunately, Cox Sux. These guys can't keep an internet connection going for more than a day. Every time I come home from work my AIM says I've lost my connection. And now, its been off for like 3 days. We had a pretty significant storm here the other night and since then the internet hasn't worked. To my understanding, some of my neighbors are having similar problems, so maybe this is something that affects more than just me, but I've never really given a shit about stuff like that. I need to have the internet or I will wither away. In fact, thats why I'm staying late at work tonight, just so I can abuse the ethernet connection.

Not much out of the ordinary has been happening to me. I'm going to pay off my credit card debt this month, which is exciting. I didn't think I'd be able to do that so fast this summer. In other words, money is good and I am back to the life of excess that I used to know and love. A lot of that money has gone towards alcohol, I am ashamed to admit, but it has been an absolute blast on Medina these days, nights, and wee hours of the morning.

The other night I invited a bunch of people over because we had a random hankering for some Pictionary. There is nothing more fun than drinking beers and playing Pictionary. Todd, Allison, Joseph, Will, and Cappy all came over to partake. Scooter and his friend Tony stopped in for a spell later on in the evening as well. I kicked ass as usual, though I don't think we ever ended up finishing an entire game. Despite this fact, we managed to play until about 6am, as well as polishing off around 60 beers. Good times, good times. And there's plenty more of that to come.

Future bashes may include a study session for Brandon who is training to become a bartender. He said he could benefit from some practice, I said I could benefit from a live-in bartender. Wallah. You know I'll be inviting the whole neighborhood for that one. I'll keep you all posted on any other bashes that may sporatically spring up.

I haven't gotten a comment in 23 days...

Oh man, was Thanksgiving ever delicious. It turned out to be an awesome meal and even better company. Lets recap. I came home early from work to prepare the turkey and get it in the oven. Allisons stayed at my house to keep an eye (and a nose) on it while I went back to work to finish up for the day. When I got home, I smelled the turkey and got prepared for the other dishes. I was also responsible for the scratch macaroni and cheese. Its an old favorite of mine that my mom makes, so you know it contains mostly Velveeta. I also made the salad. And by "made" I mean I cut the bag open.

Allison was the champion of the evening being responsible for the most dishes. She made green bean casserole, candied yams, boxed mashed potatoes, gravy, and pumpkin pie. They were all delicious. Will showed up with a fancy schmancy loaf of bread that was enjoyed by all. Owen contributed a bottle of cabernet saviougne (or however the hell you spell that, I just tried to make it look French). The wine was a big success and his job of seasoning the mashed potatoes was not overlooked, even though the potatoes would have been better suited as an industrial strength adhesive than a side dish. Joseph also contributed a bottle of wine -- he was rawkin' the Hof. Once he decided to share we all enjoyed it very much. AllieD beefed up the dessert with some homemade brownies that I am still enjoying on a regular basis. She made way too many, but as long as I've got milk, I'm not complaining. Finally, there was Cappy who brought the cranberry sauce at the last minute to save the day after Joseph really dropped the ball.

After we all stuffed ourselves to excess, discussed our favorite pies, and finished off the wine, I headed up to Kroger with Owen to get another 30 Stones. When we got back, Allison popped in Old School and we drank and watched the movie. Next thing you know, the fuckin fridge is empty and I'm drunk. Who woulda thought. The crowd dispersed and I passed out ready to face another day hungover. I would have to say that last night was a blast and I can't wait to do it again the next time Thanksgiving rolls around (and who knows when that will be). Thank you to everyone who brought something and I will see the rest of you have nots ... on the flip side.

In the words of the great Albert Einstein, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank god almighty, free at last!" Boy if the words of the greatest American ever don't just sum it up, I don't know what does. I am done with finals, done with grading, done with it all. Now its on to the summer. I will tell you all about it, but first I wanted to introduce something my good buddy Joseph sent me called the Shizzolator. It will translate any page into how Snoop Dogg would say it. (http://www.asksnoop.com) The rest of the blog I am going to write in Shizzolator style.

So I'm pretty sho that I gots A's in izzall of my major courses this semester n' shit. It's chemistry that's really going fuck me up n' shit. I don't think there's any way I could has gotten lower than a C in there but I would really rather has a B. I doubt there's any way I can make an A either n' shit. Regardless of what happens, that shiznit is really over this time." None of this hard work over da summer shit n' shit. I am getting an internship wit da space center in College Station, though, 'n that's going take up a lot of my time, methinks, know what I'm sayin'? I am bound 'n determined start my workout program on Monday though n' shit. I also need stretch a lot this summer so I won't be completely embarassed in my yoga class next semester, know what I'm sayin'?

Oh yeah, 'n Keith moved out 'n some brizzle moved in n' shit. I came crib one day 'n Keith's room is izzall girly 'n there brizzle wuz n' shit. She like hosted a dinner party tonight, I dunno, know what I'm sayin'? I wuz too busy seeing X-Fools 2, which wuz fucking badass, just in case yo' ass wanted know n' shit. I recommed everyone go see X-Fools now! I also seen da fucking trailer fo' The Matrix n' shit. Thus far I've avoided that shiznit, but that shiznit wuz right there in front of me 'n I couldn't look away, know what I'm sayin'? I had scream a few expletives during that shiznit, know what I'm sayin'? That move is going change my life forever, 'n I'm frightened by da prospect, know what I'm sayin'?

So this week I really don't has anything lined up." If yo' ass're staying in town fo' da summer, hit me up 'n we can arrange some weekly boozing sessions or something." Oh, one a footnote, happy birthday Eric G■■■■ two turned da big ass 23 this Wednesday n' shit. Always nice celebrate a bday wit a fellow Northgate regular n' shit. Excelsior! I'll see yo' ass izzall on da flip siiiiide n' shit.

Alright, alright, alright, children. Enough with the nitpicking of each other's posts. As the Grammar Sheriff, I can only hope you Grammar Deputies will start behaving yourselves. Nobody is proofreading here (well, I don't have to, thats why I don't) so it's stupid to disect each other. Jebus, sometimes I feel like the focus of this webpage is drifting away from its original purpose: the unadulterated adoration of me. The CTRJFS.C may be inadvertantly destroying its beloved SVC. Just something to think about.

In all honesty though, that would be impossible, because I rule and I'm the master of my own domain, so to speak. If you can't tell by my demeanor, I've been spending a little bit too much time recently reading over Maddox's webpage. If you don't know who Maddox is immediately, then you suck, really hard. And you need to go his website STAT and read all of his posts. Its the best webpage in the universe. http://maddox.xmission.com/

So for the more day-to-day update. I did not go out to Northgate this Thursday because I had a hair appt early on Friday morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, say what you will, but it was the only time I could get and I did not want to be hung over for a haircut. And lord knows, I refuse to party in moderation. Anyway, my hair looks sabulous. I think I'll snap a pic of it on the webcam as soon as I take a shower and fix it cause right now it looks like that Indian chief guy from Dances with Wolves. If any of you in College Station need a good haircut and are sick of the bullshit you get from EVERY dumb whore with a pair of scissors and want, just once, for someone to understand what you want and make your hair look good like you want it ... then you have got to go to Cutler2 and ask for Hannah. If you need the phone number, hit me with an IM and I'll give it to you. She's incredible.

So since I didn't go out Thursday, and I was looking so good Friday, I decided to hit the Northgate with AllieD and Jamie. Jamie still isn't drinking because of his whole lenten thing. Hopefully it will help him get into heaven. Anyway, this weekend all of the kids got their Aggie Rings, so Northgate was insane with people dunking at the Chicken (an absolutely attrocious idea). So we get there and there is this throng of people out back. I'd estimate at least 250 people. And you know me, I can't handle crowds, so I'm like "oh shit." But being the trooper I am, I got some cash and we headed for the Library. Mmmk, we walk in and there are like 8 people in there. Wonderful! People came and went all night, but it never got crowded because all the people that were outback were dirty locals and inbred rednecks who wouldn't be allowed in the Library even if they wanted to. Oh yeah, and the power went out. That was so exciting. All of Northgate lost power. Actually, it wasn't that exciting. It was just a little darker. Luckily, we already had drinks, so we continued to sit and drink and chat unphased by the lack of light and AC. I was tempted to steal this really kickass painting off the wall and escape out the back door, but alas, my conscience won out once again.

So thats my update for now. Everything else is pretty fabulous. School's going good. I probably shouldn't post this on my website, but my ring dunking is next Saturday. Its going to be a pretty big party. I won't disclose the location tho, but if you feel like you should have been invited and weren't hit me up with an IM. Just a hint: If you weren't invited, that was probably on purpose. But its worth a shot right? Ha. Well, I gotta run, I'm meeting Joseph for lunch. Peace out, you have fucking nots!

I turn my back on my beloved Sidesho-Viewers for a couple days and all hell has broken loose. Its absolute anarchy at SideshoViD.com. I took the time the other day to discuss with Joseph the goings on as of late, namely the CTRJFS.C. I wanted to get his feedback on the whole issue. He put on a brave face, but I could tell through his IMs that deep down inside lay a broken man. Hopefully, it won't discourage him from his post.

The thing we noticed that struck me as odd was that all of the comments from CTRJFS.C came from an ip address that was traced back to Carrollton, TX. I dare say, I do not know anyone from such a hole as Carrollton. I used to know people from there, but thankfully they have all moved away, allowing them to remain friends despite their upbringing. Long story short, if CTRJFS.C wishes their identity to be known (publicly or just by me) let me know because I'm mildly interested.

Other than the drama in the LBC things have been going great. I think I have a sleeping disorder, but thats nothing a little nightcap can't take care of. Life is good, life is grand. Catch you sluts on the flip siiiide.

This message is for the Committee to Remove Joseph from SideshoViD.com, which I still think is fucking hilarious. Poor Joseph. Its never fun to have an organization formed for the specific purpose of being against you. Trust me, dude, I know from experience if you know what I'm saying.

As far as actually removing Joseph, I say we give him another chance. More than likely he'll be around at least until the end of summer. If he continues to not meet your standards, continue posting comments against him. We here at SideshoViD.com love our loyal viewers.

But then again, I love myself even more and I want to make me happy. And Joseph amuses me. So as long as he continues to do so he'll probably be around.

scrofulous (SKROF-yuh-luhs) adjective
1. Of or pertaining to or affected with scrofula.
2. Morally corrupt.

Yesterday I went to see Dr. Stephen Hawking give a lecture on Gödel and the end of Physics. It was really cool. I was surprised at how many jokes he threw into his lecture. For instance, he started off by apologizing for his voice, since he knew his accent was not exactly Texan. Then he went on to say something about how he holds the same prestigious chair in physics once held by Isaac Newton, only back then, the chair was not motorized. That guy can really cut it up, I tell you. I also got to be like 2 feet away from him before the show cause he kinda mingled in the lobby for a while. Now that Einstein is gone, I find comfort in other great minds to console me.

I went to the lecture with Keith, Burns, Joseph, AllieD, Jamie, and my friend JennyC■■■ from Plano. She just flew in that day to see Stephen Hawking cause she's like his biggest groupie. Anyway, the lecture was really interesting, he's an incredible speaker despite not having a voice. He really knows how to explain these abstract, incredibly involved and difficult concepts so the layperson can at least begin to understand them. I'm really glad I got to go.

Since Jenny flew here, she really has no way to get back to Plano. I said I would take her but since my parents are out of town anyway, there's really no point in going there. So instead, I'm taking her to Austin today. We're gonna hang out for a couple of days and then she's going to Greyhound it home. It should be fun since I've only been to Austin twice, and never really gotten to hang out in the city. Pearl and Matt P■■■ from high school said they would take me out tonite to have real fun since Jenny doesn't do anything fun like clubbing or drinking. Should be interesting. Anyway, I'll be back Tuesday, but will have my cell if you need to get a hold of me. Hope you're all having a terrific Spring Break.

Ahhh, the joys of a dual blog. I can always rely on ol' Joseph to fill in the parts of my stories that I conveniently forget to include. No harm done though, I doubt anyone was met with any amount of resounding shock at the implications of Joseph's last blog concerning me.

This weekend I am going to be going to San Antonio to visit Kevin. I haven't seen him since our birthday (which is July 6th, write it down). The catalyst to this decision is this gift certificate thats been burning a hole in my pocket. My parents got me a gift certificate to Steve Madden shoes for Christmas, but in the post-Christmas shopping madness, their entire stock was wiped out. So rather than settle for something I didn't want, I decided to hang onto the gift certificate to order online at a later date. Well it turns out that you can only redeem this gift IN the store. Also, it turns out there are only 3 Madden outlets in the state of Texas. Two are in Plano and one is in San Antonio about 15 minutes from Kevin's house. So wahlah, there was my decision. Earlier today I told my buddies in lab that I was gonna go to San Antonio and when queried as to the reason, I prompted them to guess. Eerily, Owen's first guess was to buy shoes. He swears he didn't over hear me saying it earlier, which just means that I have GOT to get out of the lab and stop spending so much time with him.

My brother informed me that he's going to be in College Station on Saturday which kinda sucks that I'll be out of town, but the wheels of destiny have already been set in motion and I fear the inertia is too great to reverse. So I won't get to hang out with him.

Joseph's been sending me some emails and IMs about some pretty exciting things that he would like to go on at SideshoViD.com. I don't want to reveal anything at this point, but lets just say that SideshoViD.com might be coming to a theater near you ... Okay thats a complete lie. But do look forward to some new innovations. Czech you skillets on the flip side. Laaaaaaate.

sobriquet (SOO-bri-kay) noun, also soubriquet
- A fancy nickname or a humorous name.

Welcome one and all to the fabulous new SideshoViD.com -- Version 7. I'd first and foremost like to take this opportunity to welcome my friend, Joseph, to SideshoViD.com. For years now we've talked about him becoming part of this operation. After maintaining his own successful blog for many months now, and always managing to make me laugh, I decided it was time to get him on SVC to blog about his day. I hope you all will enjoy his posts as much as I always do and will take the time to click on the buddy list to the right to send him a welcoming message.

Speaking of that buddy list over there, that is not just to contact Joseph and me. That is there for you to have your screen name on. If you would like to be on the SideshoViD.com buddy list, just send me a quick IM expressing that desire and we will have your name up there within 24 hours. Hopefully, it will grow very large very fast.

There's still a little bit of work to do on this page, but I was just so excited that I had to release it STAT. Joseph's webcam link doesn't work yet, but mine does. Its a really boring story as to how that happened, so I won't share it. If you want to download the Song of the Day just click on the mp3 icon to the right. Today is 50 Cent - In da Club. He's my new favorite rapper. Go Shorty, its yo birfday!

The comments page is still kind of ghetto. I need some inspiration as to what the comment form should look like. If you have any idea on how to attractively package it, let me know. Other than that, click around and reacquaint yourself with all the trappings of an SVC. Thanks for coming back. EoL\n

Sigh, its that time again. That time when I have nothing better to do than sit down and update my webpage. You're in luck though because I have a really good story for you all. Well, actually, its just a good story to me, you might hate it, but I don't care.

So Joseph came over last night to get drunk with me. We had some Coors and Stones and sat around bullshitting. We went outside for a smoke and there were two girls standing outside my house, so we started talking to them. It turned out that one of them used to live in my neighbor's duplex, and they were just visiting. They were attending a party in the next building down from me and invited us to go over there with them. Aight, so we went.

We walk in and every guy there is like 8 feet tall and 250 lbs, and every girl is skinny, blonde, and huge-breasted. I was wearing a sweatshirt and a tennis head band. Me and Joseph, Matt and Suds ... mosdef stood out like sore thumbs. So the party starts dying down and Joseph recognizes all of these guys as being A&M football players. He sees Duwan Gentry, who plays corner back, and in his drunken state decides to go talk to him. Joseph's all "Hey whatsup Duwan, how do you like Franchionne?" and this guy does NOT want to talk to Joseph, he's all flipping thru his cell phone numbers looking for an out. And then Cody Scates walks in and Duwan was like "What'd you say Cody, hold on I'll be right there" and makes his escape. I guarantee you that Cody didn't say a word to him. It was so funny.

So that's my story. I love crashing parties, it is so hilarious especially when you really don't belong there. At least I don't have purple hair anymore, that always threw a monkey wrench in the crashing process. Oh well, I'm sick of blogging, czech you skillets later.

Omega, I don't usually update when I'm drunk but there are TOO many stories from tonight for this to wait until tomorrow (or according to the date on this blog, I guess that would be today). Okay lets start from the beginning. The day begins at 2:25pm, which is when I woke up. This is significant because I had a test at 2:20 today. The deal was that I was up on campus until 4am the night before studying with friends and then I came home and set my alarm but forgot to TURN THE FUCKER ON. Deerrrrrrrr. I freeeeked out and ran to all of my neighbors looking for a ride. I ended up offering a perfect stranger 'anything she wanted' to take me to campus but as she was getting her keys Allison called me and she took me to my class. THANK YOU ALLISON I LOVE YOU. It totally saved my ass. Ahhh, Abba just came on my MP3's, they rule. Anyway, I took the test and trust me, I didn't set any curves. But I did alright.

So I got home, finally showered and got ready to go to this review session. So I went to that and then right to this Diversity Symposium on campus. It was SO cool. There was a panel of one A&M guy, one lady from HEB, some other lady and then Danny from the Real World New Orleans. They just talked about stuff in general, most of it concerning diversity both as a notion and as a specific reference on campus. It was really really refreshing to just listen to people talk who share the same opinions as me. As you might have guessed this doesn't happen very often on this campus. Long story short, I really enjoed just being in the audience listening.

Then it was time for some fucking beer. But first I had to eat, since I hadn't had a chance to do that before. So I called Joseph and we went over to Fitzwilly's for some Fitz Favorites. We bullshitted for a while and made plans for tomorrow. Its his 21st birthday. That'll be really fun. Then I went over to Ryan's and chilled until we were ready to hit Northgate. We started out at the Library, but it was fucking dead. No one was there, so we went to Mad Hatters. There we ran into Humpty and Paco, guys I went to high school with and lived in Moore with but NEVER see anymore. Humpty said he still reads my blog so I wanted to give him a big ol' Shout Out. Leave a comment fucker. Anyway, from there we went to Duddley's, and then home.

I just got home and my neighbor Colette gave me a beer. Then the other next door neighbor's boyfriend Kevin came over and brought me beer after beer while we shot the shit on the porch. Now it is way past time for me to go to bed. I hope you all had as good a time tonight as I did. I love you all ... especially YOU. Laaaaaaaaaate

Oy veh, I am so sick of school. But now is not really the time to be feeling that way. I've got a big circuit test tomorrow that I am 100% unprepared for. I would really like to set the curve again just to be annoying, but I'm sorry kids, thats not gonna happen this time. Granted, I don't know many people who feel confident in their ability to identify op-amps and work with h-parameters on small signal analysis of bipolar junction transistors ... but still, I'm so far behind its not even funny. I studied for 7 hours last night with a big group of people and then a few hours earlier today. Except I get so disgusted that I just can't go on. So I took a break, got some dinner with Keith at The Max, and now I'm getting ready to head back up to campus to meet a big group of people. Its disgusting how much I study these days.

I made a really cool website for my team in one class. I wish I could show it to you all, but its completely passworded so that random people from our class can't go in there and steal stuff from us. If you're really curious, and have nothing to do with Engineering Technologies, then you can IM me and I'll give you a user name and password to look at it. Otherwise, no way Jose. (Jose just being a general term for all of you Sidesho-Viewers, not an actual person.)

Anyway, on Friday, its my good bud Joseph's big 21st birthday. Because of this, I think I'll refrain from going out on Thursday so I'll be good and thirsty to celebrate with the birthday boy. When that day rolls around, I'll put up a link for you all to IM him.

I fell asleep in my Symphony Class today and the prof yelled at me. But he kept calling me Mr. Quea or something like that ... it totally wasn't my name. He kept going 'GOOD MORNING MR. QUEA' and I was like 'yes, okay, I was asleep I'm sorry move on' and he'd be like 'yes, sir, GOOD MORNING.' Sheeeesh. If you get offended when people sleep in your class don't teach a really boring subject that I don't give a fuck about ... that plays classical music to lull me to sleep. Whatever, I'm not worried about it. I don't go to that class often enough for him to remember who I am.

Anyway, its about that time to go back to campus and hit the books again when all I really wanna do is hit the sheets. Such is life. Laaaaaaaaaate.

Oops, I did it again. We just got our tests back today in 349, the class that consumes my life ... and yours truly got the high score once again. I made an 88, which was really good for the amount of time allotted. So now everyone is going to have their score normalized to an 88. Basically you get your grade out of my 88 instead out of 100. So that should help everyone ... I mean, I get a 100 on it, so that helps me too, but I didn't really NEED help. HAAAAAA. It cracks me up. 2 for 2 this semester. Now I have a reputation to uphold.

If you haven't seen it on my away message, you have GOT to play this game. Its this online putt-putt thing that is extremely addictive. Joseph's friend Doug had it on his profile and I'm hooked now. My low score is 13 under par. If you beat me let me know. I'm sure it can be done, but it'll take practice.

Tomorrow I'm going with my friend Brandon to find a Halloween costume. I think I'm going to try to construct a party belt like my brother's roommate Jan used to have. Only with new technology maybe it won't have to be so bulky. A lot of my costume ideas hinge on my ability to construct said party belt. If you don't know what a party belt is, you suck. IM me and find out. That is all. End transmission.

All I ever do: class, study, sleep, class, study, sleep, class, study, sleep. And if you believe that, I've got some ocean-front property in Arizona I'd like to sell you. But seriously folks, I do feel like I'm stuck in a bit of a rut, although it includes a lot less "class, study, sleep" and a lot more "beer, shots, wells." So I decided to go home to Plano tomorrow. That way, I can hang out with the parents, go swimming, tanning and play some ping pong. I can use some of my free time to study for my polisci test on Monday, and I can catch up and hang out with some old friends I haven't seen all summer. I think its a flawless plan. There's really not much else to report at this time.

Oh, and Joseph, try reading the damn blog. My email address doesn't work because its changed. It's now SideshoViD@sideshovid.com. Is anyone else confused?

Greetings from the land of 21. First let me thank everyone who attempted to call me on my birthday. If you forgot, good news: I'll never know. My cell phone, apparently, was telling everyone that, "This VoiceStream customer is no longer in service." My feelings got progressively more hurt as the day went on because NO ONE had called me. So around 10:00 I decide to call my parents to find out what the dillyo, and they were like "DAVID! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WE'VE BEEN CALLING ALL DAY!" And then I called Ms. Allison and got about the same reaction, so that made me feel better. Like I said, if you didn't call, just say you did and make me feel special.

So what did I do this weekend. Well first, me and Todd drove to Kevin's apartment. We had to take two detours on our way there because of the severe flooding all around San Antonio. You should have seen the Guadalupe River. My god, the thing was beyond swollen, it was crazy. We eventually made it to Kevin's, and he worked until about 10 that night. And as soon as he got home and we all got ready we went out to a pool hall called Bradley's. There were a bunch of Kevin's friends there as well as Todd and my friend Will from College Station. We got there around 11:00 and the door girl said she couldn't count me and Kevin as over cause it wasn't midnight yet. So we got big black X's marked on our hands. At midnight, we went back to the door and some guy in charge told us it would be okay if we went to the bathroom and washed the X's off our hands and then served us a free beer. The drinks then ensued. I had a load of beers, and one shot, which naturally, was a Four Horsemen. Thats a damn stout shot. I can get sufficiently drunk off just that. We tried to play a little pool, but that proved difficult. Kevin could hardly hit the cue ball. And this is all by 2:00 cause that was closing time.

Then we went back to Kevin's pad and had a little party with everyone. I don't know exactly what happened, but I know I was drinking all night, and I somehow out lasted everyone at the apartment. I was so drunk but I was up and watching a movie and everyone else was asleep or had gone home. So I went to bed and got around 4 hours of sleep before I got up on Saturday. I was so damn hungover it wasn't even funny. And it was one of those wonderful 24 hour kind of hangovers. So I felt like shit all day long. Saturday night we went to Fox and Hound and had a couple beers, nothing too fancy. Everyone had already kicked off the party that night back at Kevins. When we got there, I had no choice but to take a nap. My head was pounding and all the lights and noise was too much. So I fell asleep for a couple hours and then rejoined the party. It was kinda fun cause they were t-rashed and I wasn't drunk. And as an added bonus, I wasn't hungover this morning when I had to drive home.

This morning we woke up and got ready to come back to College Station. We said our goodbyes and left San Antonio around 3 after we had a little lunch. We decided to take some new and improved way home, I'm not sure what possessed us. But we ended up in Austin, and I called Will and asked him how the hell to get back to CS from there. Thank god we finally got here, and just a shade over 4 hours later. Oy! But I am back, and thanks again to everyone who left a comment or tried to call. You're all beautiful. It was especially good to hear from Joseph, who has been AWOL all summer. He'd best be keeping in touch if he knows whats good for him. And that's the name of that tune. Peace out, you have nots, stay in school.

If you'll look to the right you'll notice a new scroll bar. I have to thank both Slim Jim for pointing out the problem, and Burns for solving the problem. My old scrollbars had some error on it. I never cared cause it doesn't pop a window on my browser, but Slim's asked him to debug the error every time he visted the page. Sorry to anyone else who experienced this problem.

This morning I got up at 8 for my 8 o'clock. Yeah, I know, I missed it. Oh well, it was probably pointless. I hate that class and the bitch who teaches it. I took a test at 9:10. We get a notecard for these tests, which I think makes it ridiculously easy but people keep failing so I don't open my mouth. This test was really easy except one of the things we needed to prove wasn't exactly true, so everyone was confused. But as long as everyone was confused then we can get him to throw it out.

One last thing, who was that left that last comment on my page for Tuesday? Send me an IM cause I can't for the life of me figure out who it was, though they had a good point. Sorry Joseph. Hahaha. LAAAAATE.

What a crazy and fun Friday night. That's how they should all be. The evening began at Fazoli's with Keith to get some dinner. I had the lasagna with broccoli. It looked gross but tasted great. The breadstick girl gave me attitude because I made fun of her for flirting with Keith. I was chewing on a lemon and she came by to tell me that she used to eat lemons when she was little. So I said, "Yeah, well I used to be fat when I was little." No I'm kidding, but that's what the old immature me would have said. I didn't really retaliate except by making her throw my trash away.

After I was fetted and full, I went to Ryan and Todd's to commence the binge drinking session. We played 6-Cup, our favorite drinking game. Its a lot like Power Hour in that you don't ever have to really drink all that much at once, but after you've been playing a while, it hits you pretty hard. I was playing with Ryan, Todd, David, and Joseph. Sometime around 3am everyone started passing out, but me and Joseph were still wide awake. I got a call from Allison telling me she was at a killer party and that I should stop by. So I called Keith and had him drive me and Joseph over to Allisons.

When we got there, there was no alcohol except for some Skyy drinks that belonged to some girl. So we drank those, but we weren't supposed to so we had to disguise the fact that we were drinking these bright blue bottles. I put mine in a Keebler's Crackers box, and Joseph hid his in a neon yellow fanny pack. Soon after we got there, everyone started going home or passing out, which sucked. We could have passed out on the floor of Allison's duplex, but I really wanted my bed and Joseph was gonna sleep on my couch. There was only one way to make it home though ... and that was to walk.

For those of you who are familiar with College Station, we walked from Welsh & Southwest Pkwy to Texas & Holleman. Its pretty damn far and it was a little chilly. We ran into one guy who was sitting on his porch smoking a cigarette so we stopped and had a smoke with him. I don't remember if he was cool, but we'll just say he was. By then it was probably around 4am. We happened to be walking right by Leslie's apartment, and despite the fact I hardly ever talk to her anymore, I decided I would like to see her so I called her cell phone. She didn't answer but I left a message that said "Hey it's David. I'm just about to walk by your apartment and thought I'd stop by but you must be sleeping," And we continued on.

A couple minutes later, we're a ways down the sidewalk and I hear this faint "DAAAAAVIIIIID!" Turns out Leslie had just listened to my message, so I yelled back and ran back to her apartment. We stopped in there and chilled for a while though all we had to drink was water, since we were a bit parched from the walk. I saw this guy I went to school with from like K-8 grade and he didn't remember me which offended me. I mean, I probably haven't seen him in like 8 years, but still. I remember everyone from my elementary school. Well, around 4:30, I think, we left Leslies to finish off the walk home.

When we got back to my apartment, we made some Easy Mac and drank a bunch of water. Keith came home and was enjoying our drunken antics as Joseph tried to make some tuna concoction to eat. It was pretty funny. I think we went to bed around 5 or 5:30am.

To sum up the evening, it was exactly "how I do." Every Friday night should be as adventurous. I woke up around 2:30 today and went to Wal-Mart with Allison and Keith. I didn't buy anything, but we did stop by GNC and get some of those candles that you burn in your ears. Its odd, look 'em up, I'll let you know if they work. Oh, also, in Wal-Mart I kicked a ball into this toddler's face. It was hilarious. Tonight I'm gonna go to Allison's to eat lasagna and watch Life as a House, which is an EXCELLENT movie. So, I'll catch you kids later. Excelsior!

First, let me apologize to Joseph for not blogging recently. There have been a couple factors keeping me away from the ol' Grey Matter. First was school. I recently decided that I am behind, and consistently not getting my work done. How could this be? Time management ... or lack thereof. So I came up with a simple solution. On Mondays I get out of class at noon, and generally go to bed at midnight. That is 12 solid hours with which to accomplish all my goals.

While I did not accomplish everything on my To-Do List, I got a big chunk of it done. Tomorrow I have a Circuit Analysis Test and Thursday I have an Economics test. Neither of these should be too hard, but they will require some studying. Basically, I'm set on "GO MODE" for the rest of the week, and then probably will reset to "DRINK MODE" this weekend. We'll see, I may use the 3 days to get ahead. Hahahaha.

The second factor keeping me from the blog is SVCv3. For those of you not up to date on my lingo, that stands for SideshoViD.com version 3. Yeah, I've begun work on it. Initially, I'm pleased, but I'm probably a good 40 manhours away from releasing it, so no telling when it'll be done. I will keep you updated. PLH.