Beware of those in need

Sunday, November 6, 2005

This was another fabulous weekend spent on the stoop. We all just kind of hung out, watched movies, and drank a whole bunch. Last night, around 4am, we had the bright idea to go to J's Hamburgers and Breakfast for a post-evening meal. Usually when I say something was a "bright idea" I mean it sarcastically, but in this sense, it truly was a delight. I had some sausage patties and a few too many cups of coffee. Daniel, Miles and I rode back (the 3 blocks) to our little stretch of Addison circle and were prepared to drink a little more and then turn in when we heard the most pathetic little, "Excuse me. Excuse me."

We turned to find this woman -- drunk and crying -- wandering the streets of Addison with no shoes on. She explained to us in between sobs how her friend and her had gotten into a fight over a man, and she was now locked out with no phone, no keys, and no shoes. We offered to let her in the building and walk her up to her friend's apartment (for moral support). When we got to the fourth floor, she wandered around aimlessly, sobbing some more, claiming she couldn't remember which apartment belonged to her friend. She sat there helplessly, and then in a fit of rage the likes of which I haven't seen since I shared a bedroom with my brother, she randomly decided that the door nearest to her was the one she was looking for and began beating it down screaming, "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR YOU BITCH!" I didn't have the time to take a picture of her, so I illustrated it all for you:

Since we're such rock steady moral support for all vagrants and vagabonds north of 635, the second she hit that random stranger's door with all her might, we exited stage right. We took the elevator down to my floor and then sprinted back to my apartment. We slammed the door, laughed for a minute, and then watched the Magic Bullet infomercial. I hope that chick is okay and didn't have to sleep in the hallway. Actually, wait, no, I don't care.

What I did have my camera for was the sign that Miles, Lindy and I were looking at outside of Daniel's building while we waited for everyone to join us. Here's a quick snapshot of it. We were trying to decipher it's meaning. Lindy decided that it was a message to all handicapped people to "just get up." Just get up. I thought that was so funny ... after many, many longnecks. I just had to share it with you all.

I had too much fun once again within the confines of Addison Circle. I find less and less reason to go downtown these days. I hope my friends south of 635 know that they are always welcome to the stoop. Just FYI. Okay, that's all I have for today. Now let's all get out there, hustle and have a grood week. *slap on the butt*

Daniel T

Addison, Texas, USA

booze

food

infomercials

#27

haha i love that magic bullet infomerical… that bitch w. the fake cigg.. lol and the drunk…. i bet that shit tase so nasty…. love both the pics… the drunken bitch and the handy cap sign… remember the time we herd tiny dancer outside yer window and i went out there to yell at the bitches and we ended up hanging out w/ them… lol i use to see them out all the time.. whatever happend to yer upstairs friends… lol this was a great blog….

Matt

P.S. I think you should devote a small blurb about the recent consturction and the ‘handi-capable dotted lane lines’
I figure that we should dress up as cops and wait for a wheelchair to swerve out of their designated lane, and write them a ticket for wreckless endangerment with a battery-operated vehicle. ‘License and registration please.’

Chris from Shepard

I would assume that the sign means “wheelchair lift”. When there are stairs present, but no elevator, a common solution for the handicapped is to provide a wheelchair lift that might resemble something you’d see on the back of a van that’s been modified for handicapped usage. I saw a really funny Family Guy episode that utilized such a contraption.