Tomorrow we are heading to Spain. This is our big family vacation we do each year, so all 19 of us will converge in Barcelona for 5 nights. Daniel and I are going one night early so we can beat jetlag and be prepared to help everyone else on arrival day. Stephen went early with his family to London and Paris and will end in Barcelona. My parents will be in and out, and everyone else disperses at the end of the trip. Daniel and I head south to Seville, Grenada, Andalusia area, then up to Madrid then home.

I'm pretty excited. I've been trying to kick this stupid cough for like 4 weeks now. Originally I had a sore throat, cough, stuffy nose after traveling to California for Megan's graduation. And that went on so long that I finally went to a doctor who said I probably had the flu, but now it was like a pneumonia bacterial infection, so I did a round of antibiotics. I'm still not 100% better so I went back to the doctor and she said it was just post-infectious lingering cough. She gave me steroids to help kick it faster, so now I'm roid raging. Better than coughing on an airplane for 10 hours. I have cough drops, a cough suppressant pill, and a mask if that should become a problem, but I'm feeling better today finally.

I try not to make my blogs just a recounting of every medical malady I encounter. But that's pretty much the narrative now. While we are away I will be turning 45 years old. I am not bringing my book of secrets with me because it would be a little heavy, so I'll have to read my 1, 5, and 10 year predictions when we get home. The 10 year predictions have been pretty wildly inaccurate. I couldn't begin to predict what will be going on 10 years from now so I stopped trying. I filled the book and that will be the only volume in existence. It was a fun activity for a decade or so.

Okay, who knows, I might even take a picture when I'm in Spain and post it here. I try to take at least one picture per day when I'm traveling, that's my goal. I also said I was going to try to take a picture of as many obscure locations as possible for maximum views on Google Maps so maybe I'll remember to do that. Wish me luck and I'll czech you all on the flip side!

I wasn't going to blog today since I already posted a picture of our new faucet locks. But then I realized what today is. Today is the 22nd anniversary of when I started working at my job. It's an odd anniversary to take special note of but this one seems poignant because I was 22 years old when I started working there. Okay, technically I was like 22 years and 11 months old, but still, this marks the year when I have worked there just as long as I haven't. That's wild.

What could I go back and tell that kid after his first day? I'll never forget getting there in my recently purchased Sears suit, and sitting in a conference room all day learning the most pointless orientation facts. They let us go early, but suggested we all go sit at our desks, set up our new laptops, and fill out some HR paperwork. I had neither a laptop nor a desk to sit at, so I said, "Should I just sit in the bathroom until 5?" Then I laughed and walked out the door and went home.

When my mom got home I was doing the backstroke in the pool and she screamed, "Did you get fired on your first day?!" And I said no, I just ... left. Ha. Although, I just went back to 2004 to read my first blog after starting my job and I said that my parents were out of town and would be until Friday, which kept me from having to answer a million questions when I get home. So either my parents left on a Tuesday or my memory of that day is entirely fabricated. Oh well, I'm certain that exchange took place at some point. But alas, I never did get fired and 22 years later I'm still going strong.

I guess I wouldn't really have any solid advice for me at age 22. I pretty much did it my way and it worked out. That's half charm, half privilege. And it got me where I wanted to be, so I guess I would just give the same advice I always say I'd give if I could time travel, "It all turns out okay."

I keep telling myself I need to be more narrative on my refreshed blog. I used to document the most meaningless things but they are more fun to read years later than anything monumental that I might otherwise remember. So here we go.

Two weekends ago, we drove my parents up to Oklahoma City for our niece Ann Marie's college graduation. She got her undergrad in 3 years with a 4.0 average. That apple fell nowhere near my tree! She is immediately going back to get her masters. So impressed. We stopped at Winstar on the way home and all pooled our money into a high stakes slot machine. I think it was like $30 per pull. After a few pulls, we hit a mildly good reward, doubled our money, and cashed out. I was happy to stop there but after lunch my mom wanted to gamble just a little bit more, so Daniel and I each put a hundy into a nearby machine and promptly frittered away not only our winnings but as much in losses. C'est la view.

Then last weekend, we hung out with the Allistralian. We had a great time getting to know her daughter who is gregarious to say the least. Her husband is addicted to AI, on a level far beyond what I've described. And he only uses it with the microphone like a conversation. And he always adds a ton of extra info. "I am sitting here with my wife and she is giving me a dirty look because she thinks I use AI too much, anyway, how do I heat up a chicken breast?" So funny.

Now we're sitting here wasting time until we can head to DFW for a flight to Sacramento. Now Michael's daughter Megan is graduating high school. We did have a super early flight but then AA moved it several hours later, so we won't have a huge buffer to get there and get situated, but should still have plenty of time without rushing -- IFFF our flight takes off on time. The last time we did this a couple years ago we just sat and sat and sat in the airport until we missed Kelsey's graduation and arrived at like 10pm. So we'll see.

Oh, in other news, we THINK we saw Muffin with a baby. At least we for sure saw her touching noses and letting a baby squirrel climb all over her. If it wasn't her baby then I don't think she would be doing that. We whistled at her to come get a treat, and the baby noped the fuck out of here, and Muffin sauntered over and enjoyed lunch. I wish she was training her babies to come to us so we could get some generational squirrel insurance.

I just got done wiring up my new programmable thermostat in my apartment. I know it's not like me to do shit ... but I did! I took the old ghetto Johnson Controls (blech) mechanical thing off the wall, like the one we all have. Then I unwired it, removed the baseplate, replaced it with my baseplate, rewired everything, found some batteries for the display, mounted it, programmed it ... we are in business my friends. No longer will I accidentally leave my apartment at a frosty 65 degrees while I'm away at work.

Speaking of Frosty, I got my pictures back from Cameron F■■■ a while ago. I didn't really make a hoopla about it or really show them to many people. It's not that I didn't like them, quite the opposite, in fact. I like them a great deal. I just don't care what anybody else's opinion on them is. But, I have gotten lots of requests recently, so to satiate the insane lust for all things Sidesho, I've decided to post you one picture here to look at. I know, it's sex. You don't have to tell me.

Dear Justin, Thank you for my belt. I have never felt like more of a rockstar than this weekend when I got to wear it out and hang out with you at the same time. Dear everyone else, this belt was revolutionary. It's blue LEDs that scroll messages across your crotch. Mine said "JUSTIN GAVE ME THIS!" "THIS IS SO TRASHY!!1!" "BUY ME A DRINK" "BLING! BLING!" and then had some scrolling hearts. But the best message was my phone number. I got a lot of laughs for it, but only two phone calls the whole night. All in all it was a major hit, and while I'm not gonna Sean-W■■■■ the thing, I think I won't retire it as diligently as I often do with kickass articles of clothing. We shall see.

Dear Allison, I'm sorry that I'm not coming to see you next month. I know we had joked about which one of us would flake out first, but I just wanted you to know that my delaying of the trip is entirely financial. I had really been looking forward to seeing you. In fact, I can proove it. I was so stoked about getting to hang out with you, that I devised a little gift-of-sorts. For the past 3 months I did not shave my upper lip. I kept my chin trimmed and the sides of my face shorn into something I dubbed the "three-tier beard," but the stache just grew and grew. You see, I thought it would be really funny if after having not seen me since January, I stepped off the airplane to greet you with the biggest, bushiest, best mustache I have ever grown in my life. It was heart wrenching to finally shave it off, but I just couldn't keep it going until February. So, dear Allison ... enjoy: