Happy Easter everybody. Good luck out there searching for eggs (?) made of chocolate (?) that came out the butt (?) of a rabbit (?). I'm not 100% sure about the mechanics of that, but nonetheless, have fun. I'm just hoping this means that the gym will be close to empty.

Speaking of, there is this new scourge at the gym. It only started recently, but it is spreading. Grown men with ear buds in listening to music at full volume -- SINGING ALONG. WTF. Like OUT LOUD. And as annoying as singing would be to people around you, when you can't hear yourself at all, it's a special kind of horrible. I know of at least 5 people off the top of my head that I will not get on the treadmill next to or sit next to on the stretching mat because I know they'll break out into wincing, breathy, high pitched song the second I do. I wish I was more confrontational, so I could just tap them on the shoulder and ask, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" but instead I just shoot dirty looks that are not understood.

Normally for Easter lately we get together with my parents and have a smorgasbord of food from Honey Baked Hams. I even have a rewards number on honeybaked.com. But between you and me, all of their food is garbage. I mean, the ham is okay, but they also have these boxed sides and everything is just horrible. My dad had a little procedure on Friday and wasn't sure if he'd be up for it, so I was more than happy to accept their decline of getting together. Daniel did ask me what he should buy at the store as a special treat and I said he could buy some eggs and I'll make deviled eggs with salmon roe. That will be our homage to Easter.

Another successful Febrehab is done. Though I must admit this one was really easy. I only gave up sugar and caffeine in addition to alcohol. Caffeine is pretty easy for me. I really like the caffeine free teas from Whole Foods. A little fruity beginning to the day isn't half bad. And while we do devolve into the habit of having one brown butter chocolate chip cookie after dinner 3 days per week, it wasn't that big of a deal to give it up. That's pretty much the only dedicated source of sugar in my life.

Nevertheless, it is always good to take a little break. I was telling people this year though that it's not even really the alcohol I miss. It's the ritual. The habit. There's no physical addiction, it's just such a nice punctuation on the week. Like, it's Friday, the work week is over, let's go out and have a glass of champagne with dinner to celebrate living life. And I guess we should be doing a bit more of that while we can, before we all get drafted into WWIII....

In other news, after having just poo-pooed AI in my last post, I have used it more and more in my personal life. I used to sit around and wonder about stuff. Now I just ask AI. And maybe it's good to sometimes just have unanswered thought experiments, but I really like discussing ridiculous things with Gemini.

I had an idea for a mouth piece you could wear and every, say, 5 seconds it would drip one drop of water into your mouth. That would be an unnoticeable amount, mix with your saliva, and you'd just swallow it without noticing and thus stay hydrated. I asked Gemini what it thought of my idea and it said it was bad and gave me all the reasons why. 1) It would change the chemistry of your saliva and make it less effective. 2) Even though it's just a drop, you could still choke on it if you were heavily exerting yourself or sleeping. 3) Your body has adapted to expect and process a large influx of water all at once. It triggers the stomach to do something and a little drop here and there wouldn't be enough to set it off. And 4) It did the math on how much water that would be in a 24 hour period and it was like around 1 liter and you need more like 3 liters to stay hydrated so it wouldn't even work. Like ... how could you Google that and come up with that answer? Only AI could have that dumb of a conversation about one of my new million dollar ideas. Saved me a lot in R&D costs right there.

I've also used it twice now for shopping. The ball "fell" out of my right earring and getting it back in is basically impossible without a pair of surgical forceps. And even if I could do it, once you've priced the hoop open and closed more than about once, it is never quite circular ever again. So I thought, given that I've had earrings now for like 27 years, maybe it was time to invest in something a little more substantial than the $16 piercing jewelry that's been in there forever. So I asked Gemini what I should do and it found exactly what I wanted. Visually kind of identical, but nicer metal, and no ball. These have a clicker mechanism so I can take them out for things like MRIs and surgeries. And I didn't know what size to get so I measured my existing, but I measured the outer diameter in inches and the website was selling sizes measured by the inner diameter in millimeters. So I told Gemini to do the math given the gauge and size and it did it all flawlessly.

Just this morning I woke up with a crick in my neck again, so I decided to ask Gemini for a suitable replacement for my beloved Indulgence by Isotonic side sleeper that Bed, Bath & Beyond used to sell before they went out of business. And it was like, replacement? Why, they're still sold at major retailers like Macy's and Wal-Mart. WHAT?!? I assure you I scoured the internet for information on the manufacturer and alternate retailers and found nothing. I even posted about it back in 2022. So I guess my prayers have been answered.

It occurred to me though. They're GOING to find a way to monetize this (if they haven't already). You pay them some money and they suggest your product for any related queries above all else and eventually you won't be able to trust it. It'll devolve into a purely for-profit ad-bot and everyone will stop using it just like literally every other tool or platform before it. So I guess use it now while you still can!

It's been a while since I've addressed you, dear plebians. Rest assured I have missed you all. Like I said in my last post, Brandon came to town. I missed that kid. We hung out and watched TV even though he despises TV. We got drunk, we went out, good times, good times. He had to leave earlier than expected to go to a job interview at Central Market so hopefully he'll get that job.

That same night I watched Keith dunk his ring. He did it in 22 seconds. What a champ. And I thought I was a seasoned alcoholic, here this rookie showed me up by 43 seconds. Excelsior! We went to Northgate afterwards and Joseph met up with us. Keith ended up going home early so Joseph and I split off and sat and chatted over chuggers at Duddleys. Then we went to Antonio's, that new pizza place on Northgate. This guy wanted to cut in line for the bathroom because he had to go, and if he went before us, he would surely get laid by some girl who was waiting on him. So, being the kind hearted gentlemen we are, we told him he could cut in front of us if he could impress us through dance. Bless his little liver, he started cuttin' the rug in order to pee before us. Naturally I was saying things like, "No man, if you want to cut you've got to TURN IT ON!" and instead of doing anything different he just did the same moves faster. Classic.

We caught a serendiptious ride home from Christina Lee. Joseph proceeded to chug squeezy vodka screwdrivers like they were going out of style. He got so drunk that he threw up whilst sleeping on my couch giving me a delightful bright yellow stain and filling my apartment with the aroma of vomit and bile. He also opened the front door wide, for some unexplained reason, and let in 10,000 flies that we cannot get rid of. Thanks Joey, 'preciate that.

The next night it was time to see Todd dunk his ring, but I got tied up at the greenhouse in Navasota and couldn't make it. He did it in 75 seconds, which thrilled me because that means I was faster. Anywho, I did meet up with them all later because I haven't seen Todd in forever, Ryan and DAvid were in town, and Fucking Frank was going to drink for the first time in years. It was riotously fun. I got so completely shitcanned. When I woke up this morning I was still drunk. I was also a tad confused as to why I wasn't wearing my underwear anymore, but then I remembered that I'd gotten in the hot tub that night. It was so hot in there, it was ridiculous.

I keep telling myself I am going to spend a quiet weekend at home with a good book (perhaps Glamarama that I haven't touched in weeks) but the ring thing forced me to go out this weekend. Damn social obligations. Perhaps next I will take myself up on my delightful offer. Peace out, have nots!