I keep telling myself I need to be more narrative on my refreshed blog. I used to document the most meaningless things but they are more fun to read years later than anything monumental that I might otherwise remember. So here we go.

Two weekends ago, we drove my parents up to Oklahoma City for our niece Ann Marie's college graduation. She got her undergrad in 3 years with a 4.0 average. That apple fell nowhere near my tree! She is immediately going back to get her masters. So impressed. We stopped at Winstar on the way home and all pooled our money into a high stakes slot machine. I think it was like $30 per pull. After a few pulls, we hit a mildly good reward, doubled our money, and cashed out. I was happy to stop there but after lunch my mom wanted to gamble just a little bit more, so Daniel and I each put a hundy into a nearby machine and promptly frittered away not only our winnings but as much in losses. C'est la view.

Then last weekend, we hung out with the Allistralian. We had a great time getting to know her daughter who is gregarious to say the least. Her husband is addicted to AI, on a level far beyond what I've described. And he only uses it with the microphone like a conversation. And he always adds a ton of extra info. "I am sitting here with my wife and she is giving me a dirty look because she thinks I use AI too much, anyway, how do I heat up a chicken breast?" So funny.

Now we're sitting here wasting time until we can head to DFW for a flight to Sacramento. Now Michael's daughter Megan is graduating high school. We did have a super early flight but then AA moved it several hours later, so we won't have a huge buffer to get there and get situated, but should still have plenty of time without rushing -- IFFF our flight takes off on time. The last time we did this a couple years ago we just sat and sat and sat in the airport until we missed Kelsey's graduation and arrived at like 10pm. So we'll see.

Oh, in other news, we THINK we saw Muffin with a baby. At least we for sure saw her touching noses and letting a baby squirrel climb all over her. If it wasn't her baby then I don't think she would be doing that. We whistled at her to come get a treat, and the baby noped the fuck out of here, and Muffin sauntered over and enjoyed lunch. I wish she was training her babies to come to us so we could get some generational squirrel insurance.

Happy Easter everybody. Good luck out there searching for eggs (?) made of chocolate (?) that came out the butt (?) of a rabbit (?). I'm not 100% sure about the mechanics of that, but nonetheless, have fun. I'm just hoping this means that the gym will be close to empty.

Speaking of, there is this new scourge at the gym. It only started recently, but it is spreading. Grown men with ear buds in listening to music at full volume -- SINGING ALONG. WTF. Like OUT LOUD. And as annoying as singing would be to people around you, when you can't hear yourself at all, it's a special kind of horrible. I know of at least 5 people off the top of my head that I will not get on the treadmill next to or sit next to on the stretching mat because I know they'll break out into wincing, breathy, high pitched song the second I do. I wish I was more confrontational, so I could just tap them on the shoulder and ask, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" but instead I just shoot dirty looks that are not understood.

Normally for Easter lately we get together with my parents and have a smorgasbord of food from Honey Baked Hams. I even have a rewards number on honeybaked.com. But between you and me, all of their food is garbage. I mean, the ham is okay, but they also have these boxed sides and everything is just horrible. My dad had a little procedure on Friday and wasn't sure if he'd be up for it, so I was more than happy to accept their decline of getting together. Daniel did ask me what he should buy at the store as a special treat and I said he could buy some eggs and I'll make deviled eggs with salmon roe. That will be our homage to Easter.

This past weekend, Daniel and I set about painting the master bedroom. We had originally thought that maybe we should just redo the bedroom I had in my old apartment since that was so badass. Toot! Toot! But what a horrendous waste of a opportunity that would be! Am I right? Ultimately, we decided to go with a variation on the theme of vertical stripes.

I'm really obsessed with Kenneth Brown. He's an interior designer who stars on reDesign. Every room he does turns out absolutely badass. He always puts this "spa-like feel" in every room and I wanted a piece of that. So I went a little bit out there and chose a nice soothing green for the walls. For the stripes, we masked off some that were much wider than my old ones. Then we painted them a light shade of yellow, let it dry, and painted this muddy matte brown on top. Before the brown dried, I scraped it off with a wire bristled brush to achieve a really cool fox finish. It's got great texture and almost ended up looking kind of safari. So we're gonna get some bamboo for the corner and maybe a zebra skin rug or something. We're still working out the details. Anywho, in the meantime, I wanted you all to see it. I hope this picture comes up okay on your screens cause it didn't look great on my camera, but it should give you a good idea.

I'm pretty sure I've used that title before, but I'm too lazy to check. Tonight I finally got around to filling my new subscription to Nexium, the little purple pill. They really are pretty. It's for acid reflux. I really don't think I have acid reflux, being as I never experience acid refluxing. But, my doctor seems to think the elongated uvula (yes, that's what this is about) may be a sign of night time acid regurgitation. They said it would be expected if it was longer in the morning and shrunk throughout the course of the day, because snoring can do that. But since it's just fucking long, and always is, I thought I'd give this a try. C■■■■ confirmed for me tonight that the uvula is disturbingly long when viewed in person. So next time we hang out, ask me if you can see it. I do love showing it off.

I caught myself just short tonight of saying, "Man, ever since I started going to doctors, it seems like I take a lot more pills." Stoopid, I know. But it's true, dude. Sometimes I feel like a bit of a hypochondriac desperately trying to treat all these problems I may or may not have. My new philosophy though is, if it dudn't hurt, then I'll try it.

I spent most of the day today running around town with C■■■■. We met up with Kelly and Alexander for an evening of yachting. I think you'll all be pleased to know that my skills at driving a yacht have greatly increased. I finally learned how to negotiate the waves in front of you to keep the boat from jumping all over the place and causing bottles, flip-flops, and people to fly off the back. A little more practice should do the trick. That's why we're going back out tomorrow. I smell like the damn lake right now, I gotta take a shower. The water was so warm that we actually swam for a while. I dominated Kelly in a swimming race. I stiiiiilllllll got it.

Kelly told me they were gonna get some jet skis soon. I told her, "I am gonna drive that jet ski SO slow. Totally reasonable. You're gonna believe it!"

It's been a pretty good weekend thus far. Too bad it's almost over. I need a damn vacation. Nothing of the sorts on the horizon, so I'll just have to make [do? due?]. HA! I just said doodoo. Hilarious. Peace out, sluts!

So I wake in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs, "What's goin' on?" g*d, remember what a kickass song that was? Well, I'm not blonde anymore ... not entirely anyway. The whole perimeter of my hairline is dark brown and then the top is a more muted blonde with some of the dark weaved in. I absolutely love it. I went to see Xristopher on a whim and told him to surprise me. It's nice to have someone that you can say that to and know that the surprise will be good. I always walk out of Pompeo looking like a rawkstar. And I went out that night, naturally, and got a million compliments from friends and strangers, so that always makes it worth while.

I worked from home all last week. I know you all think that means that I didn't work, but you're wrong. I got a lot done. But I did massage my schedule just a bit. You see, Cameron F■■■ ended up extending his stay through Thursday. We went bowling one night ... I've got to start bowling more. I sucked it up at the bowling alley. Kevin, you would be ashamed of me. I could NOT get a strike, I kept getting 9. So after the game was over and there were like 3 minutes left on our lane, I would attempt a strike, fail, and then Cameron F■■■ would go for the spare. All this as fast as we possibly could, allowing me another 4 or 5 attempts at a strike, none of which were successful. How depressing.

To clarify this next portion, you would have to know that Cameron F■■■ is a photographer out in L.A. He does really nice work, too. You can check out some of his folio at www.cameronf■■■.com. Pretty cool, huh? So when I got an email from him asking if I would like to do a photoshoot I was understandably excited and flattered. But my hair! It was an overgrown tangled mess. So I called Xristopher and made an appointment to have it fixed. We went out to the strip that night and had a b-last. The next day I went and picked up Cameron F■■■ and we came back to my apartment. We sat and chatted for a while while he enjoyed his last Sonic burger (a delicacy that is apparently unavailable in L.A.). Then we picked out an outfit and got to shooting. I never in a million years thought I would be a model-of-sorts in an hours-long photoshoot. Definitely a selfesteem boost. I haven't seen any of the pictures yet, but I already feel beautiful.

The rest of the day we hung out with Hag and Junior and then said our fare-thee-wells to Cameron F■■■. I was sad to see him go. It's so rare that you hit it off so well with someone so instantly. It reminded me of hanging out with Chris A■■■■ in Berlin. Maybe there's not anything wrong with me like I was beginning to assume. Maybe I'm just in the wrong city. Cameron F■■■ is moving to Copenhagen for a few months and I am so jealous. He'll be a 15 minute train ride from where I was staying in Malmo. I still wish I was there. But my life is here, for the time being, and the next few years.

So there you have it, that's what I've been up to. My question to you is: When is the last time you did something you've never done before? If you can't think of one, then it's time to get crazy with the Cheeze Wiz. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate.