Happy Easter everybody. Good luck out there searching for eggs (?) made of chocolate (?) that came out the butt (?) of a rabbit (?). I'm not 100% sure about the mechanics of that, but nonetheless, have fun. I'm just hoping this means that the gym will be close to empty.

Speaking of, there is this new scourge at the gym. It only started recently, but it is spreading. Grown men with ear buds in listening to music at full volume -- SINGING ALONG. WTF. Like OUT LOUD. And as annoying as singing would be to people around you, when you can't hear yourself at all, it's a special kind of horrible. I know of at least 5 people off the top of my head that I will not get on the treadmill next to or sit next to on the stretching mat because I know they'll break out into wincing, breathy, high pitched song the second I do. I wish I was more confrontational, so I could just tap them on the shoulder and ask, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" but instead I just shoot dirty looks that are not understood.

Normally for Easter lately we get together with my parents and have a smorgasbord of food from Honey Baked Hams. I even have a rewards number on honeybaked.com. But between you and me, all of their food is garbage. I mean, the ham is okay, but they also have these boxed sides and everything is just horrible. My dad had a little procedure on Friday and wasn't sure if he'd be up for it, so I was more than happy to accept their decline of getting together. Daniel did ask me what he should buy at the store as a special treat and I said he could buy some eggs and I'll make deviled eggs with salmon roe. That will be our homage to Easter.

Alright, look. I know why people do it. It's because I'm a bastard. I get it. Turnabout fair play blah blah blah. But look here to the right where I quote my little stabs at people's grammar and spelling. They're fucking hilarious. I take a typographical error within the context of the conversation and turn it into a joke. It's so different from what you people do to me.

I don't know how many times I have been having an IM conversation and I say some shit like, "I'm going to teh mall," and people will reply with, "TEH mall? What is TEH mall roflz!!!!1" Not funny. It's not that the comment in and of itself bothers me, but the fact that you are so fucking not funny. Correcting my spelling or my grammar or my word usage isn't cute, it's fucking obnoxious. People that do it are fucking obnoxious.

I'm not typing these things to you ever few days in some word processor with spell check. I write them in a format very similar to Notepad. I do this because as much as I write them in my head before I sit down, they always flow a little better and little differently when I type them out as fast as I possibly can. And that is unbelievably fast and usually with some sort of rythmn to the keys. I don't bother myself with spelling and grammar because it would be a detriment to the humor.

As dedicated as I am to being correct, and as much as I skim over the entries once before I post them, holy fucking shit, I occasionally make a mistake. Do you see how many words are on this fucking screen, how many entries I've typed in the past 3 years? What are the g*d damn odds that I would not know that stalactites aren't spelled the same as stalagmites. Or that a caveat isn't actually an exception to a rule, just a qualification or explanation of one. Give me a fucking break. And just be forewarned that if you find a mistake in this entry, it won't be the least bit amusing to point it out.

If you don't have something funny to say, don't say anything at all.

I called a maid today. But she didn't answer, nor did she call back. I'm not sure how professional that is. There was a flyer on my door today making similar claims to the last flyer that I had. Hey, remember that time that that girl running for class president gave me a flyer and I rolled it up and smoked it right in front of her?! Vote for Carrie! Or that girl that had misspelled her name on a stack of a few hundred flyers? Vote for Krisitna! Hahaha. Where was I?

Oh yeah, so another indication that this is not a super professional operation is that there were two numbers on the flyer that you could call -- either Lily or Joanna. I called Joanna because I figured she would be the easier of the two to haggle with, since Lily is the better looking one. How do I know that Lily is better looking? Let me ask you this. Have you ever met an ugly Lily? And have you ever met an ugly Joanna? Case closed.

Hopefully she'll call me back tomorrow. I left her a message. I have come to the fabulous conclusion that I am fundamentally incapable of taking care of myself. But what I am entirely capable of is throwing money at a problem until it goes away. In my defense though, I have been wholly dedicated to the sleep rules and it is really starting to pay off. So by the time I get off work (which has been later and later lately), come home and veg, get to the gym for my daily workout, and back home to finish eating, it is time to start the wind-down process before bed. It leaves me very little time to clean, and any time I have to clean is going to be spent drinking, believe you me. I haven't had a drink in almost a week and that is just unacceptable.

This weekend is Taste of Addison here at Addison Circle. That means one thing to me -- that I won't be able to get to my apartment for a few days. But Lindsay invited me to go with her and some coworkers on Saturday. And I think Will is going to join us. How fun is that? Stupid fun! Yay, czech you skillets later.

Free at last. Free at last. Thank g*d almighty, free at last.

I guess thats the last time I'll get to utter those words in response to the end of a semester. That's right kids, you heard me right. I am DONE with college. I just wrapped up my final doc for my final project. I need to go to Copy Corner when they open at 7am and have it printed and then turn it in and that's that. It's an odd feeling. Graduation is on Friday at 9am at Reed Arena, if anybody feels like coming.

I was pretty stoked about my plan to just be a bum and try to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my future. Then as luck would have it, I received this email from ■■■■■ (that company I interviewed with):

Dear David,

Good afternoon! As a follow up to the phone message I left today, I am writing to let you know that we are very interested in moving forward in our hiring for the project engineer position, and you are a top candidate we are strongly considering. Please let me know as soon as possible what your employment status is and if you are still available to be considered by ■■■. Thank you!

I told them I was still interested. We'll see what comes of that. They haven't made an offer or anything yet. Sigh, I am so tired but unable to go to bed just yet. I can't wait to be done so I can sleep all day. I slept all day yesterday but it didn't help much. By the time I went to bed I had been awake and working for roughly 80 hours. I took one final, gave a presentation, finished a project (well, Owen did), wrote 5 papers, and finished a takehome final in that time. Our presentation went wonderfully. Its looking like I'm really graduating.

Pretty soon I'll be leaving College Station. Seems like it will be for good. It's odd. For five years all I've wanted to do is leave. And now that I'm leaving, I'm not sure I'm ready. But I'll tell you what I am ready for. Tomorrow Allison and I are going to the Association of Former Students party to get stickers for our cars, and then we're getting all snazzy and having dinner at Mesina Hof. That was one of our other goals before we left ... eating at Christophers and Mesina Hof. It's going to be so good. I love rawkin' the Hof. Then its drinky drinky time. I hope I'm not too tired.

Can't think of what else I had to say, but I wanted to let you all know whats been going on. My whole family will be in town on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, but I'm hoping to sneak away for some just-graduated-college style partying, so hit me up if you want to join (and buy the first round whooaahh). Later you have-nots!

Okay, I've been sittin on this project for far too long now, I'm just going to unveil it, and then force myself to back it up with quality content. Some of you have become familiar with The Conduit by reading my easter editorial. Now, here for the first time for the public to view is the cover of the inaugural issue of The Conduit -- the greatest e-zine to ever exist. If you're one of the staff writers who agreed to be a part of this venture lo those many months ago, step to it, send me articles, lets do it. Anyway, sorry there aren't any articles for you to read yet, this is just to whet your lips with. The content behind the awesome cover will come soon enough, my pretties. Enjoy!

After claiming that I was all partied out, I found a second wind apparently last night. I went over to Ryan's apartment and Daniel and Joel came over too. Then Joel's roommates Clayton and Ward showed up. We were playing Go Drink all night. Go Drink is a helluva lot like Go Fish, but anytime anything happens you have to drink pretty much. But man was it ever fun. When you've just played too much 6-Cup, you ought to try Go Drink.

I created the coolest shirt ever to wear last night. Me and Keith went thrifting and I bought two Tshirts. Then I borrowed Allison's sewing machine. Cut the two shirts in half, and sewed their respective halves together. Thus creating the coolest shirt ever.

What else? Today I'm planning on taking the kitchen over to storage. But in order to do that I have to go over to Sam's to get some boxes for the dishes. But in order to do that I have to go take a shower and put on some clothes that don't reek. I think this blog may be rather scattered. Sorry about that. I'm just gonna go, I'll see you all later.