The ear infection did indeed clear up and I am back on solid ground. Lately it seems like I can't go one full day without getting vertigo, or my knee giving out, or my back spasming, or my throat getting sore, or missing out on a good night of sleep. Daniel suggested that I might be a hypochondriac to which I replied, "Oh g*d! Do you think so? Should I go see a doctor?!" Instead, I've decided to cut out that middle man and reach the same conclusion with no muss, no fuss. From now on, I am ignoring my body.

I'm not sure how I got out of the habit of ignoring problems until they go away, but I'm back in it now. It's especially helpful at the gym when my heart is racing and my head is swimming, my knees are burning, but I just keep going. Because really what's harm?

I was pretty shocked though when I got my bill for the two trips to the ER. Not including the $100 copay I have to pay each time, my total bill was $0.00. I was unaware this was possible. I thought that trips to the ER were a financial death sentence. I never knew there was insurance that actually covered anything. I thought the purpose of insurance was to take all of your money and then find reasons to not cover you later. Maybe my new corporate insurance is designed to take care of its employees? I don't know what happened, but I feel like all the money I feared I would have to spend is now free to be blown in Vegas.

Vegas trip is less than a month away. I can't wait. Then we're trying to get a game plan together of whether we're vacationing anywhere over the holidays. We're thinking maybe Denver or New Orleans. More to come on that.

I cannot tell you how much satisfaction my new job brings me. I feel like I have actual responsibilities with actual challenges being "managed" by an actual manager. It's pretty fun to look forward to work every day for a change. And to only work 8 hours a day. And to ride the Vespa every day since I won't be required on any construction sites. I just couldn't be happier.

It's also freed up my weekends completely for revelry. I always love it when drunken meandering leads you to random fun. Last weekend Daniel and I found ourselves in the back of a horse-drawn carriage, surrounded by xmas lights, drinking red wine. We went all around the neighborhood zig zagging through buildings, even stopping off at a bar to get topped off with some wine to-go. I must admit we were merely along for the ride while our crazy neighbors made it all happen, but still it was good to be out and about every so slightly breaking the law to turn a good time into a great time. I wanted Daniel to take off on the horse bareback through the park after we watched him get unsaddled, but that probably wasn't as good of an idea as I thought it was right at that moment.

I also have signed on with a new personal trainer at the gym. He's this guy we kind of know from the neighborhood who is giving us a really good deal so we're gonna train 2 or 3 times a week depending on how we like it. Gotta get in shape for St. Thomas.

Did you know we are going to St. Thomas in June -- which is going to be amazing. Then it's off to San Diego in August to watch Owen get married. EEEEEEEE!!1! Then in October we're going to Vegas because we have floor seats to Kylie Minogue's first every North American tour. Couldn't be more excited about that. My dad even got us two free hotel rooms in Vegas with his timeshare for me and my friends. Suck on that.

Sorry about the lack of updates. It'll probably stay this way for a while, I'm completely unmotivated to blog. Maybe I should start twittling or whatever.

I am home again. After another full day of travel I finally landed back in Dallas a whole 3 hours earlier than I was supposed to. As was the theme of the traveling this time, my original flight home was canceled by the time I was ready to get on it. I got to see Daniel and I gave him his new pants (underwear) and lounge pants (pajama pants) from Peter Alexander, a poncy (fancy) little underwear shop in downtown Sydney. He looks awful smart in them. And my brother was in town for his last day of a business conference, so he took me to Kenny's! What a welcome home!

During my last week in Sydney, Al and I had some fun adventures. First we both went to get our hair did. I love the chick that cut my hair. She went to town on it. Allison called it classic Aussie metro. Then she got her hair dyed back to her natural color and got a real sassy short do. She's traveling for the next 13 months through lots of countries that don't appreciate blondes to any degree, so this haircut should last her through it. After we got all dolled up, we went to Al's leaving do (party) at the Fire House Hotel (pub (bar)) in North Sydney. She has lots of wonderful friends. But it was weird how they want back and forth and around the table and every single one of them was like "Well, it's just like when I lived in the UK for 6 months prior to my year of traveling around southeast Asia." And another would chime in, "Oh yeah, when I lived in the Carribean, I spent a year touring before I got my residency in Australia." And I'm just like who are you transient people? All of them have been all over the world, lived all over the world, and I'm just like Addison! rules!

But it was a really fun party. Two of the girls were especially fun and they called Daniel early in the morning while he was at work and tried to convince him they were Kylie and Danni Minogue. Even tho the accents were pretty authentic, he didn't fall for it. Shucks.

My last day there we took a guided tour of the Hunter Valley (the Aussie Napa Valley). We went to like 5 or 6 different cellar doors and drank some very good wine. I ended up buying 4 bottles, I think, but we drank some before I left. I brought home 3 bottles and some aged goat cheese from some Hunter Valley goats. So ridiculously good. And the Shiraz is just ... huge. I can't even explain it. That was major fun. So we did that, picked up Noodle Star take away (to go) and ate it with the shiraz. And then the next day I left.

So here I am. I do not work until next Tuesday, nor do I intend to check my work email or answer my work phone until then. So if anybody wants to hang out and tan or something, let me know. It's summer again for me and I intend to take advantage this week. Laaaaaaaaate.

They say you don't know a city until you walk it. "They" being the one and only travel book I've ever read that was left here for me by Erin and Jezza. So when Allison needed a day to herself to get some stuff accomplished, I decided to set out on foot. Armed with only a basic layout map of the city, I set out heading south. Allison lives in North Sydney and I wanted to go to South Sydney, the separation being the harbour. So I got to walk over the Harbour Bridge. That was one of my goals before leaving. It only took me about 45 minutes to get to Circular Quay where the Operahouse and all the touristy stuff is. My original plan was then to figure out the bus system and see the rest of the city. But I am just not cut out for buses. The first one I wanted flew by because I didn't know you had to flag them down. And the only other one I tried the guy yelled at me because he wasn't going where I wanted to go. So I was like fuck that and hopped in a cab.

He took me down to Oxford Street in Paddington. It's where all the fancy boutique shopping is. I walked up and down the street, stopped to have some lunch, but never really shopped. Everything was really expensive but not necessarily Aussie by nature. And if I ever feel like purchasing some expensive clothes, I can just do that in Dallas when I don't have to carry it through customs. So then at the complete opposite end of Oxford Street are all the gay bars, so I decided to just hoof it over there and check it out. And then Hyde Park was just on the other side, so I walked through there. And then Circular Quay was just up the street from there. And then just over the bridge. So I ended up walking an obscene distance, nearly 5 hours of walking minus the cab ride. But it's true what they say, I totally feel like I know the city now.

That night Allison and I revisited Oxford Street and got shitcanned. But on the way I told her, "Yeah I found a couple nice places we could go to. But it seems like all the places I thought looked good were actually hotel bars." And she laughed. Apparently in Australia a "hotel" is a bar. Some law forever ago said that if you served alcohol you also had to have places to sleep, so they became one in the same long ago and now it doesn't mean hotel anymore, it's just synonymous with bar. Before we went out, we stopped for some dinner and I said, "This place is awesome. It's so nice but the entrees are so cheap." And she laughed again. Apparently in Australia an "entree" is an appetizer and a "main" is an entree. That's what's so fun about being here. It's all in English so I'm not totally lost, but it's just wrong enough to keep me guessing.

After walking around Sydney for an entire day, visiting several museums, landmarks, botanical gardens, hotels and restaurants, I really felt like I knew a lot about the city. And it made me realize how pitifully little I know about my own town. I couldn't begin to name one restaurant in the West End. I've just always assumed I didn't want to. But it's stupid that I know more about every city I've visited in the world than I do about Dallas. So I made a decision. When I get back, I'm going to take a tour of Dallas. I'm going to buy a travel book, get a hotel downtown, walk all over the place, see the grassy knoll. All that shit. I'm not even sure I know what the travel books will say to do! It won't be easy convincing locals to join me in my wide eyed camera toting tour of downtown Dallas, but we're going to do it by g*d. Who's with me?!

The first time that I experienced jet lag was in Sweden 3 years ago. No matter what I did, every night I would lay awake through the night staring at the ceiling wide awake. I wouldn't start to get tired until about 6am, which was right around when I had to get up and go to work. It was awful. No matter how tired I was or how much I attempted to exhaust myself -- either through exercise or booze, I couldn't sleep at night. It took a full week for me to adjust.

I'm experiencing it again. Only this time, the opposite. Every night here around 8pm, I get excessively tired. A few nights I've managed to stay up until 10 or 11, but not past that. A couple nights I've fallen asleep at like 8. I tried taking one of my sleeping pills to encourage me to sleep in a little bit thinking that would help. That night I slept 13 hours and stayed in bed until 10, but it didn't help. It's just so completely independent of how much sleep I'm getting. I'm just prone to this anomaly known as jet lag. I'm hoping it will clear up soon. I'm going to try a power nap today. Because we have going away parties to attend this weekend and it won't be very good if I'm sleeping in the corner.

But I've still had plenty of time during the day to do some really fun stuff. Yesterday we went to the zoo and saw kangaroos, wallabies, koalas and dingos. But maybe my favorite part wasn't the animals, but the expansive view of Sydney Harbor from across the water. It really is a beautiful city. After the zoo we took a ferry over to the opera house. It was pretty crazy to be standing on the steps touching this super iconic landmark. The whole white part of it is actually like regular sized white tiles. I had no idea. So Allison and I sat at the opera house bar, had a cocktail, and watched the sunset. It was so wonderful.

The best part about coming and staying with Allison is that I'm getting a good balance between touristy activities and the locals. One night we went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of ingredients to cook a traditional Paesta. It's actually something we made up on our car trip home from Jervis Bay, but we decided to make it a reality. I remember when my grandmother used to make us a paesta on the holidays. The best thing about a paesta, though, is how it brings together family and friends. It ended up being a terrifying blend of vegetables, pasta, bacon, chicken, heaps of ancho chili sauce, and a few spoonfuls of an Aussie blend of Ranch dressing. It's a good thing that everything goes with ranch. Despite the improvisational nature of the dish, it actually turned out pretty good. So good that Dom had 4 servings -- and nobody is THAT polite, so I think he really enjoyed it.

I think today we're going to take it easy. We are going to get some acupuncture done because neither one of us have ever done it and Daniel always tells me how amazing it is. Aw, the only thing that could make this trip better is if Daniel was here with me. I miss him. Anyway, we're resting up today because tomorrow we're going on a vineyard tour of the Hunter Valley. So it's going to be a helluva day and we want 24 hours of sobriety prior to that. Should be interesting.

Well I made it to Australia. Let me tell you something. If you are planning on coming here, make damn sure that it is something you really want to do because it is not an easy trip. After my flight out of LAX was delayed 5 hours in the middle of the night, my total travel time was 27 hours. And then as soon as I landed Allison and Dom (Allison's fiance) and Erin and Jeremy (friends from America who are leaving on Monday) were all waiting for me. We were supposed to go to Jervis Bay at 7:30am when I landed, but instead I got in around 12:30. So immediately after getting through customs we hopped in the car and drove 3 hours south. Brutal.

As we were piling into the car Allison was like "You can sit up front." And I kind of paused, assessed the situation, and then said, "I really don't think you want me to drive." I'm an idiot. First time I've ever been in a country where they drive backwards cars. It was really weird. I couldn't quite get used to it. Every time we went around a bend in the road and I saw traffic coming toward us in what my brain was perceiving to be our lane, I would tense up for a split second thinking a head on collision was imminent. I was already a little shaky from no sleep.

But we finally got here. I knew it wouldn't be hot since we're in the souther hemisphere and we went so far south, but it's even colder than I thought it was. And there's not really a beach here. We're going to drive out today and find some beaches. But we got this really cute little 3 bedroom place right near the water. I fought and fought to stay away last night. We stopped at a grocery store and bought all kinds of meat and then bbq'ed it last night. I got a picture of myself throwing some shrimp on the barbie! Then we ate, explored, drank some beers. Finally around 10, I think my eyes closed for the last night and Allison took me to bed. So I woke up around 6am. I got up and turned on the radiators to warm up the place. And then I made a cup of tea and went out on the patio to just kind of look out over the water. And right then four bigass kangaroos hopped right in front of me. We saw some kangaroos over where we got the keys to this place. Like 15 of em. And then we saw two in the neighborhood eating out of a bowl someone had put out on their front lawn. And then this morning I saw those four. So I've already seen like 20 kangaroos. We were joking that it was working out so well that next we'd see a koala riding on the back of a platypus.

It was really fun out here. I loved doing something mundane like going to an Aussie grocery store. I read the ingredients for Vegemite -- yeast. Gross. I'm going to eat some when we get back to Sydney. I can't wait to see the big city but it sure was fun to be out here. I'll be back with more exciting stories soon. Peace.

I'll probably curse the day I bought the PedEgg soon enough. Each night when I'm finished using it, I marvel at how soft my feet are. And then the next morning I think to myself, "I could just run it over them one more time to be sure." And wouldn't you know it? They get even softer. I can see somewhere in the near future of both soles of my feet being one massive abbrasion. But it's so worth it. Daniel won't let me use it on him because he claims his hard earned calloused feet are the reason he is able to wear uncomfortable shoes. But I just know I could take a good quarter of an inch off.

In other news, I went to visit my motorcycle accident havin' coworker at his house. He's home from the hospital. All the scary stuff about fluid in lungs and broken ribs is past him. His color has returned and he's in generally good spirits. He has a titanium rod in one leg and then he had two broken ankles, one of which was operated on and still has no feeling. But he just has two boots on and has to use a wheelchair to get around. So all in all, not too bad. I try to cheer him up with stories of own infirmary and give him hints on how to keep from getting bored. But he refuses to take pain medication of any kind, so my top 3 ideas were just shot to hell. I wish there was more I could do to help but it'll just take time.

Speaking of motorcycles, I took the Vespa in AGAIN. They're going to look at it AGAIN. This time they think they know what's wrong. They called Vespa and described the symptoms and they were quite sure this is the only bike in the world that has ever exhibited these characteristics. Yeeeaaahhh, custom baby. They said if I dropped it off before I went to Australia that they would have it fixed by the time I got home. I don't believe them, but it's worth a shot. So I took it to them on Saturday morning. Man, was it a beautiful morning to ride. I was sorry to drop it off.

And lastly, I'm going to Australia. OMG. It's coming to fast. Since I'm not very good at planning a trip in advance, I encourage you all to leave me a comment with something you think I should do while I'm there. So far all I've thought of is getting a picture of me in front of the Sydney Operahouse. So that's already covered. Also, any advice for how to survive a 14 hour flight would also be appreciated. Thaaaaaanks.

It's been a while since I've updated. My apologies. I just returned from Las Vegas celebrating my brother Stephen's 30th birthday. It was a pretty big deal. The entire trip was kept a secret from him up until I took him and his wife to the airport. And then on top of that, it was another secret that me and my other brother, Michael, were on our way to the airport separately to meet and surprise him with our presence. It was pretty fun sneaking up behind him in the casino while he played video poker. After so many months of preparation, it was such a relief for the big reveal.

So we spent two days gambling, drinking, laying out by the pool, having some very fine high dollar meals, and seeing the Beatles LOVE show. Highly recommend. Also highly recommend Planet Hollywood. It's recently been redone and it is so nice. Nicer than the Bellagio, in my humble opinion. Crazy times.

His birthday was a little bigger deal than mine. I tried to keep the invite casual (I wanted to type "cas" as in short for "casual" there but I'm not sure how to spell it). I didn't even have a place for people to RSVP because I didn't want to get excited that anyone was coming. Daniel was kind of annoyed with me as we got ready to go out to the bar because he was hurrying me along and I was saying what's the point, no one's coming. He was like you always get this way on your birthday. So we got there, and DJ iMernex had reserved us a table. And then we sat. And sat. And sat. And no one came. Daniel was frantically texting people trying to get them to come to no avail. Finally before I called it quits I texted Keiff cause he had said he would try to make it after moving all day and he was on his way over. So hurray! Saved the day. Then we blew that hot dog stand and invited Lindsey over like we should have all along. Lesson learned. Next year, no party ... he said again.

My Harley riding coworker got in a really bad motorcycle accident this weekend. He has two broken ankles, a broken femur, broken ribs, and road rash. I think I need to go get some safety gear before I ride anymore. I'm paranoid now. Not that I wasn't before, but you get the point.

So good times, not much to report from the real world. Gearing up for Australia, dreading the 14 hour flight. But definitely excited. I'll keep you posted.

After 3+ years of all talk, I am finally going to do it. I just booked my non-refundable 22 hour trip to the land of Oz. On August 14th, I will lift off from Dallas ... and on August 16th touch down in Sydney, Australia. I wonder what TV is like on the other side of the planet. I can't WAIT to find out. Do you think they have DVR? Do you think they call it DVR? Do you think it records backwards?! This is going to be so fun. Oh and I might hit up a wine tasting or a zoo or an opera house while I'm in the neighborhood. But best of all, I get to see my lovely friend, the Allistralian on her home turf. I will be gone for two weeks returning on August 27th. Best part of the flight home is I touch down almost before I take off. I will bring news from the future.

After booking my ticket, I was kind of on a roll. Like you do. So I went and ordered my KitchenAid copper stand mixer for my birthday. Really it's a birthday present from Daniel, but we used my credit card to get it. It's going to take a week to get here, but I really excited about it. I'm going to whip cream to stiff peaks.

Man, I'm more excited right now than Evan on American Gladiators. Rocket is the best Gladiator. And he's my friend on Facebook. I love TV.

We just went to listen to Salsa in the park here in our neighborhood. Turns out I really don't like salsa music. I had fun last week but the band was much better. Oh and I was waaha-hay-hay-hay-sted. So it was sounding good. Tonight I exited early. I basically woke up in time to go listen and it's hot and the band was terrible and I wanted I wanted to sit on the TV and watch beers. So I came home.

Oh, last bit of news. KaboomTown is next week. Everyone's invited. This year we will serve various skewered meats and vegetables. As well as skewered pound cake and strawberries to dip in chocolate. I call it ... Shish-Ka-Boom. You should come. And then the 6th is my birthday again. But this year it falls on a Sunday, so on Saturday July 5th, I am having a little gathering at a bar here in Addison! if you would like to join me. That would be awesome. Czech you all on the flip side.

I just got back from a week in San Antonio. I was there to take a training class for work. It was from 8-5 every day in the hotel I was staying at next to the airport. Needless to say I was bored out of my gourd. I took this picture as I was checking out of my hotel room because I thought it rather succinctly summed up my entire trip. People in my training course were kind of laughing at me because I was eating each night at places like Papadeaux's and Applebee's. They thought I should get out and experience the local fare. But I was just like, c'mon, I'm from Dallas. It's not like San Antonio is a foreign country. If I managed to find something uniquely San Antonio it would just be a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place with meat, cheese, and tortillas combined in a variety of ways. So I opted to eat at places I liked, albethem chain restaurants, because it was free. And that made it special.

So I made it through the week with little incident. Last night Daniel and I went with JennyCole to see the new Sex and the City movie. It was fantastic. If you haven't seen it yet, you definitely should. We went to the Studio Movie Grill to watch it so we could get loaded at the same time. But ultimately, the same thing happened to me that always happens there. I end up having to pee so bad by the time the movie's over that I have a hard time sitting still. But I made it through. There was one thing about the movie that pissed me off. And it's not a spoiler, but if you don't want to know anything about the movie don't read this next part. So Charlotte adopted that little Chinese girl, right? And what did she name her? Lily. How many times have I said that I'm adopting a little Asian girl and naming her Lily because I want violin music while I eat? But I also always said that if I had another little girl, I would name her Rose. Not so much because of the obvious floral reference, but because I like the really old-timey names. Okay, so Charlottle has a baby and they name it Rose. So now if I ever by some fluke of nature have two daughters, and name them Lily and Rose, people will be like, oh yeah from Sex and the City. And that will piss me off. So I'm having my tubes tied.

In other news, the Allistralian came back to the states for a visit. She is leaving Australia soon and convinced me that it's now or never if I want to go visit her. So Daniel and I are going to Australia. For REAL this time. No joke. It'll probably be somewhere in the August range. It's gonna be a pretty baller ass vacation, but that's okay because those are the kinds of vacations we need to be taking. I'll keep you all posted on details of that. If anyone would like to go with, the more people we have the easier that 12 hour flight will be. Lemme know. Peace out.

I successfully rode the Vespa to work this week. It was a little unnerving at first, but once I got going, it was pretty comfortable. It did highlight the fact that I need to buy some gloves. 50 degrees doesn't sound cold until you're moving through it at 45mph. My hands hurt by the time I got to work. But I did it. On the way home it was so windy that I had a hard time balancing, so I found an alternate route home that took me entirely through residential streets. It took nearly 45 minutes, but it was way preferrable to braving the high winds on a major thoroughfare. I only did it one day because there has been questionable weather and high winds predicted every day this week, but I think it could become my main transportation throughout the summer months.

Daniel has been in Atlanta all week. Sunday was his birthday and he had to fly out for some training for his new job. Unfortunately, by the time his flight landed he was sick. He's had to miss out on most of the activities and just lie in bed. Being in a different city for work is bad enough. Not being able to drink must make it near unbearable. He comes home tomorrow though, which I'm pretty excited about. TV isn't any fun to watch when no one is there to hear your snide remarks.

Speaking of TV, I made another as-seen-on-TV purchase! Stephen's daughter's birthday is coming up in July and he said she would really like the Roll 'n Grow. The commercial shows a green foam pad that you roll out, water, and then an insane amount of flowers bloom from it. I hate to disappoint her this early in life by her finding out that not everything works like they show in the commercials, but I also hate to disappoint myself by not buying it for her. So I had to get it. She'll be excited to open it I'm sure. And as with every stupid purchase I make -- who knows? -- maybe it does work. We got on the topic because 20/20 did a big scientific study of Kinoki Pads. The bastards must have been reading my blog and stealing ideas. They couldn't get the company to produce any lab results to back up their claims. But I think the most telling demonstration was when they put distilled water on the pads and they turned brown. No labs could find any traces of toxins or heavy metals or whatever else they claim. Too bad, I was really hoping this would be a cure all for the human race. I guess the hunt is still on.

So I need another suggestion for TV purchases. The AeroGarden that Thommi suggested it a wonderful idea. It's a little expensive for an impulse buy, but then again, my birthday is just around the corner and I do love getting myself a little something special.

I need to go clean the apartment. As I guessed would happen, my intentions to keep the apartment pristine while Daniel was away failed miserably and now I have to make up for it within the next few hours. Late.

Las Vegas was a blast, just like I knew it would be. Daniel knew that we were staying at the Bellagio for his graduation gift, but what he didn't know is that we had a deluxe lakeview suite on the corner and that chocolate covered strawberries and champagne were waiting for us when we got there. So that was a fun arrival. We looked out our windows and played with the electric drapes for a while before hitting the town. We mostly played Wheel of Fortune and Monte Carlo slot machines -- the two most popular ones with bonus spins possible. Neither of us lost as much money as we had planned on losing, so in that regard, we won. One night I even drank until I was wasted and the casino paid me $10 dollars to do it. If that isn't winning big, I don't know what is.

So that was our strategy. To try to drink all night and pay less than what we would have paid at the bar. Since a beer was anywhere from $6 to $8 at most bars, that really wasn't hard to do. Here's a couple helpful hints for any of you heading over to the desert. The first time the waitress comes around, tip her something good. $5 should do it, $10 if you're looking to get wasted. Then they'll take care of you by replacing every empty bottle with a full one. You might have to fuel the fire every few rounds with a few ones, just to keep her thinking she might get more money out of you once you get drunk. The other key factor is to make your money last a long time at the slot. The only effective way to do this is to not play. We would put money in, pull it once, light a cigarette, smoke the entire thing, talk to the waitress and the people next to us, finish a round, use the bathroom ... and then pull it again. Of course, naturally, you're going to get faster and faster as drink goes on, but that's where teamwork comes in and your partner should tell you to stop. We usually took turns, so one of us could slow the other down if we were getting low on our beer to gambling ratio.

One night Daniel took me out to a fancy dinner at Le Cirque. That's French for The Cirque. It's in the Bellagio and it's probably the nicest restaurant I've ever been to. Only 16 tables in a small room swaddled in tapestries and rich mohogany, and a view of the fountains. Tres chic. I had the rabbit symphony. A plate with a bunch of different preparations of rabbit. I am the worst vegan ever. The fun part was that when you walked in there was a huge terrarium with all the rabbits in it and I got to pick the one I wanted. (No, not really, but isn't it weird that it's acceptable to do with lobsters but the thought of doing it with bunnies is kind of offensive?) I was completely stuffed after a seafood medley, rabbit symphony, and a mango sorbet with coconut foam extravaganza for desert. It was an incredible meal, I highly recommend. Especially if you can get someone else to pay for you.

We also saw Blue Man Group, which was incredible. The first hour or so was just them staring wide eyed at each other and audience members while people laughed uncomfortably. Could have done without that. But the last 45 minutes were so badass that it totally made up for it. I would also highly recommend Blue Man Group. I'd tell you more, but I don't want to spoil it. If you're really curious, I'll tell you about it in person.

Our flight home was canceled and our new flight was about 6 hours later (during which I won $80, so not all bad) and then that flight was delayed about an hour. So getting home was a bit arduous. Especially since we were both ready to come home. Vegas is magickal and riotously fun, but I wouldn't recommend any more than 3 nights at a time. It gets tiresome of everyone you meet doing whatever they can to get their hands on your money. But we finally arrived home with little incident and promptly laid on the couch. And that concludes story time.

I've spent the past couple of days at my parents' house playing Wii and opening presents. I got a navigation system and an Art of Shaving kit and a mango slicer. Not a bad haul. I gave Daniel the T-qualizer shirt and he gave me Planet Earth, the entire season, AS narrated by Sigourney Weaver, the true version. I have some more to open on xristmas with Daniel's family so more on that after this. Peace.

Last night I went to a work party. After eating some dinner and socializing for a few minutes, it was right up stairs to play Wii. I think the Wii will probably affect adult parties more than childrens. Bowling and tennis are just too much damn fun. I'm kind of surprised my Wii arm isn't sore. Good thing because that also happens to be my slots arm. I'm leaving for Vegas in a few hours, and I'm not going to lie to you. I'm feeling awfully slotty.

Real quick, though, I gotta tell you what's even better than the Wii. Rock Band. I think it's only out on the XBox 360, or at least it's not out on the Wii. I went to a Rock Band birthday party and we played all night. It is so much fun. There are vocals, guitar, bass guitar, and drums. And the drums are like a massive controller. And then it's just like Guitar Hero where you follow the little colored bars on the screen. Except the vocals, all you have to do with that is stay on pitch at the right time. I feel like such a loser because I've never liked video games before, save Tony Hawk, but now I find myself getting obsessed. Not obsessed enough to buy my own, that costs money, but totally into it, for sure.

Last bit of news, have you all heard that American Gladiators is coming back?! It's hosted by Hulk Hogan and Muhammad Ali's daughter. I think her name is Tatiana. You can go look at all the new gladiators if you google their website. My brother, Stephen, sent me the link and said his favorite one is Fury and I found myself agreeing. You just can't beat a pony tail coming straight up out of a grown woman's head. I was frankly a bit surprised that Wesley "Two Scoops" Barry didn't come back as a gladiator. Anyway, I decided that when I'm a gladiator my name will be Maui, an hommage to Malibu, the greatest gladiator of all time. Stephen said his name would be Laser Beam because he wouldn't be comfortable leaving it at just Laser. So your homework assignment is to leave a comment with your American Gladiator name and why.

If I don't win millions, I'll be back on Wednesday. Peace.

I always tease Daniel about date night because the entire concept is so ridiculous and reserved only for married couples in strained relationships who really don't like being around each other, but once a week go out together and get sauced up enough to copulate. So any time we go out to dinner or a movie I like to scream, "Date night!" But in all seriousness, tonight we had a date night. Dinner for two at Halfshells in Plano. We got a crab and shrimp and andoiulle sausage platter and a couple beers. Then we went to see August Rush. Srsly, go see it. Read my review to the right for more on that. It was just perfect. We should really try to do this once a week.

One more week and I'll be Vegas bound. I can't wait. Daniel really can't wait. The Vegas trip is to celebrate his graduation, which will also occur in one week. He's already finished with several of his classes and I just couldn't be more proud of him. He's kind of a big deal. It's going to be a hectic week for me and then I have like 10 days in a row away from work, and you'd better believe me, I'm going to forget alllll about it.

One last thing about August Rush and then I'm done. I really want my brother to go see it because on those late nights when we were up recording Brother Band songs, and he would man the guitar, he always played it like August does. Two hands on the neck of the guitar ... bangin' ... making beautiful music. Only his was a fraction of a second long and had to be looped in order to sound cool. But still, same effect. I'm heading off to lay on the couch some more, my home in my home. Czech you skillets on the flip side.

I am so bad at updating these days. If I have any Sidesho-Viewers left, I want to apologize to all of you for my absence. It's not that I don't want to update, it's just that 9 times out of 10, I'm fresh out of ideas. I hate it when I get too many narrative blogs in a row. It seems rather self indulgent to think you care what I'm doing without having something funny to say. Speaking of self indulging...

We have a new hangout here in Addison! Circle. It's called Astoria and it is our new favorite place. The owners could not be nicer. We had a long term goal of getting to know them on a first name basis so we would feel at home there. They greatly accelerated our schedule into the first night we were there. They couldn't be nicer. Tonight it started raining on us, so they brought us inside, set up a smoking section, and brought us lots of fresh menu ideas for us to try and give feedback on. We really want them to be hugely successful, so the next time you come to visit, let's go have a coffee or a drink or something to eat.

They also have flat screen TVs around with DVD players. So they encouraged us to bring in a movie, have some friends, they'll set up a viewing area for us, serve us drinks and watch the movie. Sounds like too much fun. We want to try that asap. We ran into our favorite Addison! celebrities tonight and they told the owners that I was an amazing guitar player. In reality, they were just amazingly drunk the night I played for them. Drunk ... and huge John Denver fans. So you know I blew their socks off. The owners want to try to get an open mic type thing going on there so they asked if I would ever be interested in starting things off. One of my biggest goals in life, back when I was young and stupid and had goals, was to play an open mic night before my 18th birthday. I missed that mark by a good 8 years, but I could make amends with my younger self by doing it at Astoria. I only know a handful of songs, but it would be fun to go play them in a corner. Someone might listen, but probably not, and that would rock. I really hope I go through with it.

I have made good progress on the bar. It is now grouted and sealed and looks amazing. All that's left to do is put some drawer fronts and cabinet doors, stain them, and then paint the back wall. Oh, and line the drawers with foam and velvet. And then we are open for business. Realistically, we're probably looking at a cold weather unveiling, but you know for a fact that I'll be keeping you updated.

A few new projects on the horizon. The first is a dress for Lindsey that I've been promising ever since I finished Katie's dress back in April. Daniel was just in New York for 5 days and found time to steal over to Mood, our favorite Project Runway endorsed fabric store. He got me a beautiful black and white silk print (I can't sew silk) and some black silk to go with the sketches I came up with. If I can pull this off, it just might be an attractive garment.

I was also in Barneys last weekend and found a fur lined hoodie. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about an article of clothing. But, needless to say, I was not $675 excited. So Daniel also picked up some faux chinchilla fur from Mood and I'm going to line my own hoodie. I also intend to run headphones up into the hood that will hook into an iPod that will rest in a custom iPod pocket. And I want all of the pockets to have magnets in them so they will stay shut. It's going to be rad. I want to start that first, but Lindsey wants her dress. Hopefully they'll be enough time to do them simultaneously. I need this hoodie yesterday... but I suppose I can wait until it isn't 100.

Much love to everyone getting hit by tropical storms and hurricanes right now. Hope your houses aren't flooding, or if they are, that you have good insurance. Cha ching. Later sluts.

Well then. As most of you already know, I've been back from Mexico for quite some time now. Just haven't found the motivation to update. You know how it is. Mexico was a blast. Not quite the unmitigated boozefest you might have imagined since we had 5 children under the age of 3 in tow. But it was very relaxing to spend the day by the pool or by the beach indulging in way too much delicious all-included food and the occasional drink. I would highly recommend and all inclusive Mexico package. The only excursion I took outside of the resort aside from a little light shopping was snorkeling out on some reefs about an hour away near Cozumel. It was pretty cool in the shallow water. I was about 4 feet away from a shark that was as tall as me. I don't think he could have killed me but he probably could have eaten my leg before I was able to gouge out his eyes, so that was exhilarating. By the end of the trip though I was feeling quite sea sick and had "maintain" for about 30 minutes until we hit the shore. But I was successful, so that was good. My nieces are all adorable and a trip and I think everyone had as much fun as me ... even if they didn't get the opportunity to take as many naps as I did.

Since I've been back I haven't done much in the way of excitement. But that's all about to change. My birthday weekened extravaganza begins tomorrow after work. Then it's time for Kaboomtown fireworks and I have the rest of the week off to just lounge around and work on my bar. Believe it or not, progress has been made. I got the supports up on the wall and the plywood base cut out and put on the supports. A lot of planning has been done at work to figure out what comes next. Near as I can figure it, I'm going to put the middle "legs" that will encase the trash can in next followed by the wooden lighting encasement for the back. Then it's time to tile and cut trash holes and cutting board holes. Then just staining and trimming everything out to hide the many, many, many mistakes I have made and likely will make before I'm done. If I work on it throughout my time off, there is a good chance that this bitch could be done before the end of summer. And then it's time to have a party to show off the bar.

My birthday party on Friday was canceled because Metro Retro won't be open. After I found out they would be closed, I just kind of said fuck it. I'm going to dinner with my parents and then I'm just gonna hang out at home. If anybody wants to come over and drink beer with me and shower me with gifts, you are all invited to do just that. I'll let you know if plans change, but I'm 99.34% sure they won't. So get shopping because you only have 4 more days left to make your purchases. Thaaaaaanks.

I started work on the bar this weekend. I think I'm going to extend my original construction schedule from two years to three. I went and bought a couple 8' sections of 2x2 pieces of wood (although I was already confused since the actual dimensions seemed like 1x1 to me). I managed to cut it to length using this big, mean looking power saw that my coworker lent to me. And I managed to get it up against the wall, level it out, and drill a pilot hole through it. I even got a screw into the wall to hold it up. I was feeling pretty good about myself. Until I started drilling a second hole and managed to rip the whole thing down. Apparently the screws I got were only long enough to go through the wood and about halfway through the drywall. So I guess I need longer screws.

I also got this stupid stud finder that beeps in different places and is indicating to me that the studs are about a half inch thick and spaced randomly anywhere from 6" to 12" apart. My little instruction booklet suggests that studs are always 1.5" thick and spaced 16" or 24". So I'm confused and worried that I'm going to drill through an electrical wire or a pipe or something. So I put everything back in the closet and shut the doors. I'll worry about it some other time. But seriously, does anybody know anything about this that could help me?

I would resume work next weekend, but I'll be in beautiful Playa del Carmen, Mex-i-co. My whole family is taking a five day all inclusive trip together. It should be really fun taking all the nieces and nephews to the beach. We only have two confirmed cases of serious distaste for sand ... and one that allegedly really likes the taste of sand. So it should keep us all moderately sober for some of the time. Too bad my base tan is hovering somewhere around eggshell right now, so I'm going to be employing some serious SPF the whole time.

The rest of this weekend was punctuated by drinking and downloading the entire Ace of Base album and dancing and laughing at Daniel for knowing every single word to every single song. I have this theory that everyone on earth likes Ace of Base. There are only varying degrees of how much you admit it. But you know and I know that when you're alone in your car and "The Sign" comes on, you be rockin and singing along. Wouldn't it just feel better to admit it?

I just went and looked at the gym here in Addison! Circle. It looks pretty nice and has the free weights I've been missing. I think I'm going to join but I have to see what Daniel thinks about it first. I might sign up anyway and just go there on days when he is in class late. My company will pay for me anyway. They invited me to come back and work out today and I should really take them up on it, but methinks I am too lazy. We shall see.

Last order of business, I sent out a MySpace invitation to my birthday party on Friday, July 6th. If you didn't get it or you aren't on MySpace, shoot me an email (sideshovid@sideshovid.com) and I'll give you the wheres and whens you so desperately desire.

We did it. We moved. It only took about 12 grueling hours to finish. I can only imagine how long it would have taken were it not for the help of my father and our dear friend, DJ iMernex. I have been working long hours at work and I'm getting ready to go back to Seattle on Sunday (for one day) so I've been very little help in putting anything away. Plus, you all know me. I'd keep shit in boxes indefinitely if it were up to me. But not Daniel. Boy howdy, everything is done. It looks amazing. This place is so fucking huge it's ridonkulous.

I'll be gone Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and then after that I should be home for a while. I say this because everyone I like needs to drop by as soon as you can to see the pad. I can't wait for Kaboom Town this year. I think we're gonna do a Kaboom Town/My Birthday/Housewarming Party thing. Whatever will we call it? Kaboothdarming? I am pretty sure that's a city in Iraq. Anyway, come up with some ideas and I'll pick the second best one.

The only downside to living here (and I'm not sure it's even a downside) is that there's ample parking on the streets over here. Whereas before I was usually forced to park in the garage, here I can always find a spot right by my door. Which means that birds poop all over my car every day. And it's an unbearable amount. So tonight I begin Operation Shine Lasers Under Trees. Every night around dusk, I am going to walk underneath every tree on the street and put a laser in the eye of every bird settling down for the night. After a few nights, they should be discouraged from ever staying there again. And I'll just keep on until my car is always clean. If it doesn't work, I'll just get a BB gun.

And that concludes my post. Having Daniel's computer here all set up is really nice and will hopefully equate to more frequent blogs. So don't delete me from your favorites list just yet. There's plenty more where this came from.

If you haven't ever seen Dave Chapelle's Block Party, I suggest you go rent it immediately and bask in it. Just bask. I rented it last night when Blockbuster didn't have Stangers with Candy (so lame). So now I'm sitting home alone with a bottle of Patrón chilling in the freezer thoroughly enjoying myself. I got dressed up for no reason, fried some dinner in butter and life is good.

I remember the first time I saw Block Party. It was when the ever lovely Miss Lesbie Ann Bizzell was in my hizzell and we wanted a drizzell in the mornizzle, like you do. After drinking breakfast at the Gecko we went to Studio Movie Grill and laughed our asses off at this movie in between martinays. Loves it.

On Monday I have to get up at 4am. I have a 6am flight to Manassas, VA. Well, there's no airport in Manassas, obviously, but it is right near Washingtown, DC. I have to be there for a week with work. I would be lying if I didn't say I was looking forward to it. I've gotten in a rut lately, if you haven't noticed. I hardly ever leave my apartment. I never go anywhere or do anything. That is one downfall to dating. You just get comfortable and stop trying to look around for fun things to do. So now I'm going to Manassas. If I weren't dating Daniel then I'd say I looked forward to getting some asses in Manassas, but it's just a tag line now.

I got my sister's name in our annual xmas gift exchange. She's a 30-something news anchor, soon-to-be-mother of two with a brand new house. Give me gift ideas. I am not having any ideas pop into my head.

Like I said, not too many hilarious stories to tell from the couch unless you want me to recount my favorite episodes of Family Guy.... No? Then FUCK YOU. I'm out. Peace.

I am back in Addison! once again. I have managed to finagle a way out of going back to Seattle, at least for the immediate future. I wouldn't be half surprised if I spent at least one more week there. And that's okay. I don't mind occasional travel, it's just this trickery and moving of one's permanent residence that rubs me raw.

So anyway, you know how I'm like full of million-dollar ideas? I've been tossing this one around for a while and I finally figured it out. There hasn't been one plane ride in the recent future that I've not been near a screaming child. Why so many children commute between Seattle and Dallas I will never know. And I must reiterate to you parents, no one thinks your child is cute but you. Don't give me a chuckle and a shake of the head when your deformed looking twins shit their pants on descent and I have to smell it for 30 minutes. That's when I came up with my new airline. Ladies and gentiles, I present to you -- 21+ Airlines!

Just imagine the possibilities. Business travelers wouldn't have to put with with white trash parents that overcrowd the overhead bins with their strollers and rockers. You could actually sleep on the way home after a long week in another city. Boarding and unboarding of the plane would be quick and painless. Yes, 21+ Airlines is a fantastic idea. It might even be a cabin full of first class. And there is a two drink minimum. I'm going to be so fucking rich.

On my flight to L.A. (for my layover, those bastards) I was sitting next to a mother and her 5 year old daughter. The daughter would not stop screaming, kicking the chair in front of her, and crying because her ears were popping. And in between that she was overly excited because she was on her way to Disneyland. She told everyone on the plane she was going. She screeched to her dad a few rows up, "Thanks for taking me to Disneyland, daddy!" All would have been cute in the proper context ... say, a preschool. Or a playground. But on a plane, annoying. So I tried to sleep through the whole flight and when we landed, she siezed the opportunity to tell me she was going to Disneyland. And I said, "Really? Hmm, I don't think it's open this time of year." And the mom laughed, hit me, and said, "Oh, COME ON." But I don't even think the little girl heard me so we had a good laugh over it.

I brought the SkyMall magazine home with me from the plane. I want to order just about everything in there. I think I'm going to finally get some houseplants and then buy an automatic waterer so they might actually stay alive. And I want a hydroponic herb grower. And a gentle wake alarm clock. And a massage chair. And damn, I'm lucky I have no money otherwise it'd be gone.

I think first on my to-do list is to get my windows taken care of. I can't take that sun in my bedroom anymore. It won't be cheap but I think if I just get some heavy fabric, fold it to make it look kind of like vertical blinds, and just nail it to the wall behind the vertical blinds, no one will see it from the inside and no one will notice it from the outside. Unfortunately there's some "rule" against aluminum foil. Jerks.

I felt obliged to update right away because my brother said he was going to remove me from his Favorites list on account that I don't update much lately. I want you all to know that I am not going gentle into that good night, I've just been out of town so fucking much. So bear with me and keep coming back for more.

Where to begin? I guess, first, I should mention that I'm reaching out to you all from a two-story Starbucks in Seattle, WA. Not three days after I returned home from my DC/NYC vacation, I boarded a plane for a four-hour flight to the great northwest.

When I was sitting in the terminal waiting for my flight, I noticed a particularly ill-behaved toddler screaming his head off. I just knew he would be sitting near me. And I was right. This little fucker was directly across the aisle from me ... and he did not shut the fuck up the entire flight. He was screaming for the sake of screaming. Now here's what really bothers me. His mother catches my glare, smiles, chuckles, shakes her head ... like she's expecting me to be the same, like, "Eh! What'reyagonnado?!" and ruffle the kid's hair. I'll tell you what you should do. You should smack that kid so fucking hard that the next time he ever thinks about screaming on a crowded airplane, the resulting Pavlovian headache is crippling enough to quell that impulse. Good lord, people, it's bad enough you decided to breed, then decided to do a poor job in raising your children, but at least have the foresight not to bring them in public. No one thinks your kid is cute but you.

Except my nieces. They're all adorable.

So Seattle kinda sucks. The weather is pretty kickass, but I'm bored out of my gourd. I don't know anyone here and my room doesn't have internet access until I move hotels on Thursday. I really just want to be home, but that won't happen until September 1. Somebody call the whambulance.

My trip to DC was spectacular. Daniel and I got along famously, something that had mildly concerned me before our departure. While we spend nearly every hour outside of school and work together, that doesn't always give you a good indication of how you'll handle 24/7 with a person. But it was not even an issue. We spent every night in DC gay bar hopping. We got to meet up with Mr. Kenderdine and my dear friend JonSteed. DC is a pretty cool city, but it's missing that essential pretentious attitude that makes going out really fun. Nobody dresses up. They wear flip-flops and cameo shorts and sleeveless Ts out the bar. What's the fun in that? Daniel and I had to get all fancied up and go out with our sunglasses on to show em how we do. Daniel's dad had a nice apartment in Dupont Circle with a huge terrace. The terrace was surrounded on three sides by a tall brick wall, and the fourth side was a rod iron fence. So every night when we were smashed and getting home, we'd climb the rod iron fence to sit on top of the brick wall and smoke cigarettes. Every single night one of us got hurt. Daniel tore his foot open. I have a puncture wound on each knee. You'd think we would learn our lesson after a few nights, but we managed to avoid any lessons learned.

New York was a b-last. I still don't like the city, but I definitely like the time I had there. We stayed with Daniel's friend David (so bear with me during this story, I'm not speaking in the third person). David showed us as much as he could in the short weekend we were there. We went to some good bars, but they were all so fucking packed. I can't imagine paying 8 times as much for an apartment 1/4 the size just to spend every night packed into bars so tightly that it's hard to even drink. And if you go to New York, make sure you take a lot of cash. IF places even took credit cards, they all had minimums. 5 dollars at most stores, 50 at some bars, and one bar even said they wouldn't swipe my card more than once when I told them to just run it. I suppose if you're marking up alcohol 800% customer service isn't at the forefront of your concerns. But like I said, we still managed to have a blast. One day we went on a Project Runway tour of the city. We went to Bryant Park, and Parsons New School for Design, and the Red Lobster that Santino made fun of Tim Gunn and Andre about. We went to Mood, the fabric store they always shop at and had a fabric scavenger hunt. We managed to find 3 of the fabrics that they've used on the show this season. Too exciting. We also went to the flagship Macy's and they had a window display with all of the winning outfits so far this season. It was fun to look at them up close. By far one of my favorite parts of the vacation. The other day we just kind of strolled around Central Park. Thank you thank you thank you to our most gracious host and newest Sidesho-Viewer, David. Can't wait to see you again soon!

We did so much walking on our trip. I really felt like my legs got a good workout, since they haven't had any recently. We also took a train from DC to NYC. That was a first for me. I like the train. The train is kind of like what I assume airplanes would be like if there weren't assholes trying to blow them up all the time. You just kind of get on where you need to get on and then get off when you need to get off. It just made a lot of sense to me.

I have to apologize for the length of this blog. I had a lot to say and nothing else to do in this fucking city. I'm bored. If anybody knows somebody who lives in Seattle, or knows somebody who knows somebody PLEASE get in contact with me. I would kill for some company. Alright, I'll update more when I have internet in my room. Later, bitches.

I'm off tomorrow for my week long vacation to Washington, D.C. and New York City with Daniel. I can't imagine that I'll have internet access readily available (or that Daniel will tolerate me updating my website when there are so many things to do). So this is my farewell to you all. I will update when I get home and let you know how it went. Laaaaaaater bitches!

This pain is bordering on unbearable. I've already burned through my first prescription for painkillers and my attempts to ration the lone refill aren't going so well. I pretty much have to take one every 4 hours. I haven't been able to stay a full day at work yet because of the pain. My throat is so swollen that my tonsils are nearly touching. It's probably infected because it's so bright red. If you're thinking about having a uvulectomy, I suggest you plan ahead and take a week off of work. The only relief I get is after a pill kicks in and I sleep for a few hours. If I sleep much more than that, it's really painful when I wake up, so I'm going to try to spend the weekend doing nothing but healing and sleeping.

It hurts so much to eat, well, swallow. I am supposed to drink ice water in small sips to try and take the swelling down, but the cold hurts on top of swallowing. I eat a lot at each meal to try and space them out as much as possible. I have a huge, gaping open wound directly in the path of all food and liquids on their path to my stomach. Since I don't have an IV, I don't know much choice but to keep doing it, but I dread the thought.

My wishlist hasn't turned out exactly like I thought it would. It was intended to help me plan far in advance for the purchases I wanted to make. Instead, it's become a grocery list for the past few days. Whenever I'm hurting, I find that spending large sums of money always brings a smile to my face. Today I got a couple new pillows and all new pillowcases for every pillow I have. It's not enough to just put one pillowcase per pillow though, because then sometimes the case folds back and you can see the pillow. Unacceptable, so we put two on each pillow. Not exactly cheap when you're dealing with DaMask Stripe sheets, which also happens to be the product placement for today. These sheets are so comfy and stylish. Pick your favorite color and then pick yourself up a set. I have the chocolate brown to match my ceiling and wall stripes and then I got red for the pillows that I keep on the couch. Rawk!

Oh, Daniel and I will be in Washington D.C. August 8th through the 16th with an excursion up to NYC the 11th through the 14th. Yes, I'm returning to New York despite my vow to never do that. I have a feeling this trip will be exponentially better than the last. Anyway, if you reside in either of these cities, let's plan a get-together. Til then!

Have you seen this Colgate commercial? They're implying that if your gums bleed a little bit when you brush that it could be a sign of gingivitis and that brushing with Colgate will fix that. But what gets me every time is the chick who says "When I saw a little pink in the sink...." You cannot tell me I'm the only one who hears "two in the pink, one in the stink" and looks up expecting to see the shocker.

I have a new goal. Well, actually, it's an old goal, but I'm going to go for it now. I want to own everything as seen on TV. I'm talking everything. I'm going to begin with the Faraday Flashlight. It's a flashlight that charges itself based on the electromagnetic principles discovered by English chemist and physicist Michael Faraday. I'm really impressed they named it after him too. I also like that you have to shake it in a masturbatorial motion in order to get it to work.

How was Vegas? Oh, I'm glad you asked. I won about 700 bucks. Yay! Unfortunately, I lost about 850. It was pretty fun though. I hit a couple of big pots on the slots. I was just in such a mood for slots. You know how it is, when you get all slotty, put on your slottiest outfit. I got to see the Allistralian! She is back in the contiguous United States. We were in Vegas together for her last night and my first night. Good times. I need to call her now that she's in Dallas. The rest of my trip was resignation fodder, but the odds of that blossoming beyond an idle threat are small. I used to have ambition. Sigh.

I don't have to work tomorrow. Rawk! Oh, I almost forgot it was still Febrehabruarii and I have to comment on it. I didn't crack whilst in Sin City. It was a huuuuuge challenge, but no problemo for yours truly. I've been having a lot of sober fun with my fellow rehabruaers, Daniel and Brett Sabulous. Oh, and in closing, let me just save you all 8 bucks -- do NOT go see Date Movie. Laaaaaaaaaate.

In a twist of irony, I will be in Sin City next week Tuesday through Friday. I will be working in a hotel right near The Strip. It just sucks that this had to happen during Febrehabruarii. I have decided that there is a Vegas caveat in the rule book. If at any time during February I am sent to Vegas for a week for free, I will allow myself 300 dollars to try and win enough money to quit my job. Still, though, no smoking and no drinking. The office in Vegas had offered to take me out and show me a good time and have me stay through the weekend on their dime. I had to decline the majority of that. I'll be home on Friday. Plus, Allison will be here. To add to suckiness, she'll have left Vegas the day before I arrive. Oh fate, why must you mock me!

In other news, everything else has been going well. I think a lot of weak people are mad at me, but there's very little I can do about that. So we trudge on. I'm really starting to look forward to March 1st, even though I think I won't break the rehabruarii until March 3rd because I'm running some training courses the 1st and 2nd and don't really need to be hungover for that. Start brainstorming what we're going to do that weekend to celebrate. I want it to be something fun. Laaaaaaaate.

I'm not going to stand here in front of all of you and claim that my life is any more amusing, entertaining, or spectacular than yours. When I get up in the morning, I put my pants on one leg at a time. HOWEVER, you would not guess it from the life I've led recently.

Our story begins last Friday. I was sitting at work when I received a phone call from Daniel. He had gone to Galveston for the weekend and was upgraded to the Palladian Suite at the Treemont. He said I should come check it out. I shut down my PC, walked out the door, and drove straight to Love Field. I bought a plane ticket to Hobby and got on the plane. We had so much fun tearin up the mean streets of Galveston. Oh, Galveston, you poor, poor shitty little town. We walked all around trying out every bar in town, meeting all of the club owners and DJs, and making friends on the streets. We ended up going to an after party at a really nice loft one night and a really fun beach house the second night. There are too many funny stories from that weekend, you'll just have to hear them in person, as most of you have.

Then last night, I was invited by Brett Sabulous to accompany him to his company party. He works for a major hotel. I don't want to get him in any trouble with his company through my webpage, since his father googled him and read about our first night on the stoop. Anyway, I don't really have anything incriminating to say about our sandy and gritty friend this time. We just had too much fun. There was a casino at the hotel with fake money, and then you could purchase raffle tickets. I had $4,000 to start with and managed to piss away half of it when I decided to bet the rest on one hand and get back to even. This is why we do not take Sidesho to Vegas. I ended up betting everything I had left on the next hand and winning, and then continued to scream "LET IT RIDE" for the next few hands. A few wins and a blackjack later, I found myself with 16,000 dollars. We didn't win any raffles, but still had a blast. A few drinks and a few bars later, we were back in our palacial suite at the hotel in Addison!. Way, way too much fun. We got on the internet through the TV and were completely stupid. (After some taquitos, naturally).

I started this blog like 24 hours ago and just now got around to finishing it. There are a few more stories I need to tell but I'll save them for the next blog. Laaaaaaaaaaate.

Today was the best trip of my vacation thus far, and it has nothing to do with the fact that it's my last day in New Jersey. We had to do a lot of work in a high school that involved going into classrooms. Since we couldn't do the work while class was in session, we planned on working from 2-11 today. My coworker, insistent that I not leave New Jersey without having at least a little bit of fun, decided to include me on his trip to the beach in Seaside Heights.

It was too much fun. It looks like a Coney Island or something. There's a boardwalk with shops and restaurants and bars and arcades all up and down the beach. It was absolutely dead since it was a Thursday morning and it's after Labor Day, but it was still fun. I want to come back here on vacation some summer to see it rawkin'. The beach was really nice. It was 80 degrees and sunny and just a gorgeous day to spend sunning. We even went down into the water and body surfed on these enormous waves. I got my ass so kicked. I was riding some waves that were way too big to be riding. I drank enough sea water to last me for the rest of my life.

I rode this one particular wave that was too big. When I stood up, I gasped for breath and immediately got hit by another wave. When I finally came up for air, I was stumbling through the rip current and stepped down right on top of something sharp. I kind of hop-skipped and then looked at my foot. There was a little dot of blood, so I was pissed that I'd scraped my heel. That led me to take a break from body surfing. The blood kind of ran out and formed a blood/sand cover for the wound, so I wasn't worried about it. We laid out a while longer and then drove back to my hotel.

I decided I should probably clean my scrape, but when I was washing it in the tub, there were two little piece of sand that wouldn't wash off. And it hurt like hell when I touched it. I realized they were stuck in my foot. No biggie. I went to get my tweezers and pull them out. I grabbed a hold of the first one and started pulling. Oh, it came out. It came out a little bit, then a little more, then some more, and then some more. It was a long ass little piece of some kind of crustaceon. It hurt like a fucking bitch to pull it out and then started bleeding profusely. Then I turned to the next one. It was even bigger and hurt so bad when I tried to pull it out that I stopped. My coworker tried to pull it out but he couldn't. After calling around to find out where the nearest hospital was, I decided to just giterdone myself. So I grabbed it with the tweezers, bit down, and pulled. It was like a good inch long and completely inside my foot. This one hurt even worse and bled even more. In fact, it spurted out blood. So gross.

Anyway, I'm okay now. It doesn't appear to be infected. I've been limping all day, but really the only reason I told you about this is because I used my camera phone to take a picture of it and I wanted you all to see it. Kthanks.

This has turned into the weekend from hell. They pulled what they glibly described as "the ol' bait and switch." My "3 day all expenses paid weekend in New York City" has turned into "working 18 hours a day in Queens while commuting from South Jersey all over Labor Day weekend." I'd have to say I rarely if ever get this pissed. It has just been a disaster. My boss and boss's boss and boss's boss's boss aren't happy about how things went down either, so without divulging anything that would get me dooced, they've promised to make it up to me. And I know they will. And while I'm here I'm working hard. I've just never been so slighted before.

It's all thankless too, that's the best part. So just in case any of you were jealous, which I know some of you were, because quite honestly, I'm awesome, this is one of those times when you can lean your lawn chair way back as you bask in the simplicity of your own living room. I'm having no fun at all.

So I won't even get to see New York City, besides what I see from the highways as I traverse my way from Jersey to NYC through toll roads, turn pikes, and bridges. The bridges here have tolls as high as 9 dollars. Insanity. I am making my way pretty well though. Today I was chatting with my sister on the drive home and took a wrong split in the highway and ended up in Williamsburg. With my limited knowledge of the city I was able to make it back to Queens and then start my trip over again. I kinda love the city itself. It's rather sexy. I just wish I could enjoy it.

Enough complaining though. I was supposed to come home the 16th and I just changed my flight to the 9th. They can eat me if they don't like it. I informed my boss that I was coming home early and he encouraged me to do so. It's so nice to have management that really and truly backs you up and is understanding and respectful. That's what's lacking here.

No NYC for me, but yay I'm coming home. I can't wait to be home. In two weeks I go back to the sleep clinic to get my Constant Positive Air Pressure (CPAP) machine calibrated. Another night in the sleep lab, ugh! The last one wasn't as bad as I thought. You know how I said I didn't sleep at all? Well I did. I slept for six and a half hours. I just didn't realize it because I rarely made it out of the first stage of sleep. I only hit REM for 20 minutes, so I basically have been getting about 20 minutes of sleep a night for the past decade. It's nice to know I'm not crazy.

The apnea though. Lordy, lordy! A normal 24 year old probably wakes up during the course of the night about 5 times for any range of reasons. I, on the other hand, again, because I'm awesome, wake up 70 fucking times an HOUR!1!! They classify that as "severe." No shit. And every time I wake up it is because I've stopped breathing. So I stop breathing 70 times per hour. I'll spare you the hassle of pulling up your desktop calculator -- That's roughly every 51 seconds. Not exactly conducive to sleep. But this CPAP stops that from happening, meaning I could hit REM for 8 hours in one night. Holy shit, can you imagine what a difference that would make in my life?!

A few people have separately expressed the same concern. What if my personality changes on account of this? Think about it. How much more easy going are you after you've just pulled an all-nighter? Just kinda lazily making through the day. Miles even commented that when he's really tired he gets loopy and funny. I'm like that all the time. What if when I'm well rested I'm a really serious asshole? Hard to imagine, I know, I know.

Anyway, I gotta go piss and moan a little more to my parents, I just wanted you all to know that I'm miserable, so you could at least feel a little better about your own Labor Day weekend. An ULDE:IYDKYDG this is not. THIS time when I get back I'm not going nowhere, no how. So all those parties I've promised you all, we're gonna have. Unfortunately medical costs have bankrupted me, but I still have enough $$$ to get bombed. So this weekend, Ryan Short specifically, it's on!

Two weeks later, I have finally arrived back home. Getting from Cincinnati to Austin was an ordeal. It took right around 12 hours total. First my plane from Cincinnati to Chicago was delayed by the hurricane. When it finally arrived, we were delayed by a problem at O'Hare. By the time I got to Chicago, my connecting flight was long gone. My new flight was then canceled and I ended up getting to Austin-Bergstrom at 1am. A long cab ride later I was finally at Leslie's.

Leslie's apt was low-key and fun. We sat around drinkin' wine and brewskis and watching Food Network and Napoleon Dynamite. Leslie just bought a house! Yay! Her housewarming party should be sometime around October and I cannot wait. We drove by the house and it is too cute. Even though the street name is dirrty.

I drove back to Dallas today and finally got to see my buddy, Tuna. I'm a little disconcerted by the fact that he no longer has a tail fin. I'm not sure what happened there, but he is a uniplegic now. Poor guy. He is not in a good mood. Thanks to Mr. Kenderdine for taking such doting care of my fish.

I went and had coffee with Mikey since he's staying up in Plano while he interviews here in Dallas. Good times, good times. Alright, I gotta go to bed, but I wanted to let you all know that I made it back alive. I'm not really looking forward to returning to work tomorrow, but I'm going to the sleep clinic tomorrow night, so I have something to look forward to. Here's to my last night of apnea ridden sleep. Huzzah!

I did it. I fucking did it. I traversed the globe from Austin, TX to Cincinnati, OH without a single hitch. I even rented my first car and followed directions to my hotel. From my balcony, I overlook a White Castle. I might have to try that tomorrow for dinner and see if it sucks even worse than Krystals does. The lady at the front desk here is super cool. She gave me a smoking room with a balcony, and had a fridge sent up to my room so I could keep the beers cold that she gave me. Who knows if she's this nice to everyone, but it sure does feel special.

I know Brandon had requested a big long blog all about my weekend in Austin, but that may have to wait a couple of days, which in effect means I will never get around to it. It is now midnight and I have to meet some dude in the lobby at 7am to go to the UC campus. So far I'm having a good time. Thanks jebus there's free internet access in my room. The workout facilities leave a lot to be desired, but it should be sufficient. But anyway, my weekend in Austin was awesome. Congratufuckinglations to Dr. and Mrs. Jamey Dent. Bang up job getting married, kids. The wedding was cathlick, the reception was fun, the nap I took after the reception was a fucking blast. I went out with Brandon and some of his friends. It was so, so good to see Brandon, not, not so good to see his friends. But, we all managed to make it though the weekend being painfully polite to each other. There's a whole sordid inside story to why that I don't feel like getting into. Let's just say his new boyfriend has every reason to hate me.

Beer #2 is now open.

So getting to Cincinnati (or Sin-sin-naughty, as I hope to come to call it) wasn't too bad. Lester took me to the airport and let me park my car at her apartment, so thanks for that, L.Bizzle said D.Fizzle. I scheduled myself a 4 hour layover in Chicago hoping that one of my two friends would be able to meet up with me for a while. Turned out that neither of them could, which was totally cool, I knew that when I scheduled the layover without asking that I was rolling the dice. So I had plenty of time to sit and eat a leisurely (free) dinner and then play Spider Solitaire for 2 hours while listening to John Denver's greatest hits.

My flight from Chicago to Cincinnati wasn't on a big American Airlines plane. It was on a smaller sub-airline, I guess, called American Eagle. I don't know about you, but visions of a flight crew dressed in tattered jeans and board shorts did not instill much confidence. But we made it on one piece with only minor turbulence, and then I masterfully navigated my (upgraded) rental car to my pimpass hotel. The fucking end.

Got a busy couple of weeks ahead of me, but so far I'm rather liking this travel thing. Now, to close, an homage to Drew Carey ... OHIO!!!1!!

I thought I could squeeze a few more aliases out of you, since I was enjoying them so terribly much, but I guess not. If you think of one later, please feel free to share it whenever it comes together.

I couldn't possibly wait to update, though the time that has passed, and the beers that have passed through my urethra since then may convolute the stories. Sorry, was that gross? Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that the Addison Circle is coming together. Premier new members? Namely Miles, Brett Sandy and Todd (although Todd's application is still under geographical review). Then there was Daniel and Kelly (?). They are my neighbors across the street.

So the story. Brett Sandy and I have been wanting to hang out ever since I got back from Sweden and just now decided to carpe the diem and giterdone. He came over under the premise that we would drink and watch movies and see what happened. Well, what happened is that Miles and Todd were enjoying the Dallas Wind Symphony (which ended up being a 5 piece brass band) down in the Circle. We joined them for a bit, listened to the Sousa, and then I went to get some liquor and beer. When we were walking into my apartment to enjoy said booze, we got whistled at. Who does that? There were two boys and a girl sitting on the stoop across the street, so Todd yelled at them, "Which one of ya'll whistled." Well it turned out to be Jordan, who came up to say hello and invite us to come across to join their party at Daniel's. Gay neighbor a stone's throw away? Huzzah.

So we went and drank and chatted and then they brought out the Roor. I'm not sure I can adequately describe the Roor. It was the biggest, most intricate bong ever constructed. I swear to g*d, they all but brought out the welding torch to put this thing together. It had like 3 water reservoirs in it. I've never seen anything like it. This coming from the guy who uses a bong as a flower vase -- and nothing but a flower vase -- go figure.

It's not often that SideshoViD.com delves into the seedy underbelly of drug consumption, and it won't be through my own personal experience that we go there, but we do have to talk a bit about Mr. Sandy. As you might expect, Brett Sandy is SABULOUS. He is both Sandy and gritty. He decided to puff-puff-pass for the first time given the circumstances. The combination of boxed wine, 100% agave tequila, vodka, beer and Mary Jane prooved too much for our fearless partier. Miles and I walked him home around midnight and put him in my bed. We could have just left him alone, but instead decided to interview him on video with Miles' digital camera to hilarious results. Can I get a copy of that, btw, Miles?

We rounded out the night just having a grand old time with about 6 of their friends and it must, must occur again. BUT, first I have to go to Cincinnati for 2 weeks following my trip to Austin this weekend. So I will be gone for 3 weekends in a row. Just as the Circle is rounding out! DAMNIT! I am going to find a hotel that definitely has high speed internet access (so I can work from the hotel room, duh) so I will surely be updating you all from the WONderous land of Ohio. I have a feeling it's the Oklahoma of the north. Ugh. But a change of scenery is a change of scenery. It's time to get horizontal. Peace, bitches.

I think I might need to start a Sleep Files of sorts. This will be last installment in that epic saga for a while. I went to the clinic today. They asked a lot of intelligent questions. They said I definitely need to come back and spend a night in their sleep lab. If anybody wants to go with me, we can totally spoon ... though I'm not sure if that's allowed.

The doctor was also kind enough to point out the two physical features I am probably the most self conscious about (although that term is just relative since I'm not really self conscious). He asked me if I'd ever broken my nose and then seemed to think I was lying to him when I said no. He said I have a deviated septum that could be contributing to my problem. He also commented on my overbite and said that my lower mandible being farther back could be pressing my tongue against the back of my throat as I sleep. Both of these could be corrected with very painful surgery, but I know a thing our two about blindingly painful surgeries, so I'd be willing to go along with it if they thought I needed it. That's kind of a last resort and they're not even sure it would come to that until I complete the sleep test. Still, if I did do that, I'd totally have a cosmetic surgeon come along for the ride to make the pain and suffering and rehabilitation worth it.

That sleep test won't be happening until I return from Cincinnati, though, so we can close this chapter for a while. I was quite tired at my appointment today due to breaking the sleep rules last night to go downtown for a couple glasses of wine with JD. Definitely need to make a habit of that.

Today at work, my body builder coworker delivered my 10 POUND BAG of whey protein that I told him I wanted. I am now supplementing my diet. But seriously, 10 pounds is sooo much more than I thought it was. Picture like a bag of dog food, only completely filled with powder. I laughed so hard when I saw it. It's going to last me well past its 2007 expiration date. So I came home from the workout, drank my shake, and then cleaned Tuna's tank. It was way past due. He seems rather pleased that I finally got around to it. I set him next to the laptop while I was in the bathtub scrubbin his rocks. When I came back out he was surfing around Friendster. Did he add you?

Finally, at lunch today somebody made a mention of an alias. All three of us in rapid succession offered up our aliases, mine being Donovan Blankenship. Then that made me think of Joey and Phoebe being Ken Adams and Regina Philange. And naturally that led me to think about how Allison adopted Fionula Flannigan as hers. Having a cool alias is a MUST. So I ask you, dear viewers, to post your pseudonym here on a comment. And with that, I bid you adieu.

I'd like to thank you all for coming on such short notice. The reason I called you here is to take care of a few items of business.

First, I will be in Austin (Round Rock) on August 12. I am going to AllieD's wedding, remember? Well then my boss comes to tell me that I will be in Cincinnati for two weeks ... the two weeks that would put that wedding smack dab in the middle. I'm not sure, smack dab may be kind of strong, but in the middle nonetheless. I gave them two options, since I am an uppity little shit. I said they could either pay for me to go to Austin that weekend or delay my trip one week. They opted for the latter. Disaster! Nobody wants to attend a wedding reception and then wake up early the next day to drive three hours and get on a plane. So now, I am going to fly out of Austin on the 14th, the details of which aren't entirely worked out. I'll be on the campus of the University of Cincinnati for two weeks and then I will fly back into Austin. Then I'll party one more weekend in that fair city before I return to Dallas. Should be fun.

Secondly, I made an appointment with a doctor for Monday. I am going to go in and repeat back to him the symptoms of sleep apnea that I read on the internet. Please, it won't be the first time I've lied to a doctor to get what I want. Although, usually that is prescription medication. This time, it will be my golden ticket. You see, in order to go to the sleep clinic that I want to go to, you need a referral from a general practitioner. So I'm going to do what it takes to get that referral. Then I get to go to a sleep clinic and spend the night wired up with electrodes and monitors and shit and they will see that I'm waking up 1,000 times a night. I also know from eye witness accounts that I stop breathing for long periods of time and then gasp for air. It's so sleep apnea; it has to be. We're gonna get that taken care of though, don't you worry.

Those were the two action items I wanted to address today. If anybody knows anyone in or anything about Cincinnati please hit me up. Laaaaaaaaaate.

Is it weird that after I get done tanning, the smell eminating from my skin makes me hungry? Somebody back me up on this one.

I got carded on the way home buying cigarettes at the discount tobacco store, and then the old Indian man went on like a 5 minute explanation of how I have a baby face and that means that I am a good person inside because a good person's features never change. I was like, "Thanks, Vishnu, can I have my smokes now?"

So I've decided to push back my Australia trip to July 7th through the 15th. That means that I will be here on July 4th and my birthday July 6th. Tomorrow is Justin's birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN. Hurry up and come to Dallas and bring me my belt. I saw a chick in a bar wearing one, and I simply must be the first to have one in my social circle or else the novelty will wear off.

This Saturday Ryan and Todd are coming over from Arlington to play drinking games with me. Thommi might come up. Lesbie Ann might come. I'm going to invite Will and Lindsay too to make it a royal college reunion. Ryan Short is bringing Robert and I'm going to see if Lil Jarrod wants to come. Party at the 735 square feet of fun! Damnit, now I have to clean. Anyway, if you want to come, let me know.

I almost forgot, today at work I switched my keyboard to Dvorak. I'll let you all know how that works out for me.

Nothing else to report. My days blend into each other as I drudge through the monotony of a job well done. Czech you skillets later.

This past weekend, I was in beautiful Oshkosh, Wisconsin for the Fisher Family Reunion. We had matching T-shirts and everything. I was there from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon. Rather than say anything negative about my own flesh and blood, I'd like to recount some of the highlights of my weekend.

By far the best part of it was my immediate family all getting together. It was the first time that all 11 of us had been together (the 11 being comprised of the 6 in my original family, 3 spouses, and two nieces). The big news of the weekend? Pretty soon it'll be 12. My brother Michael told us all that his wife, Krouton, is pregnant. This'll be their first baby and my third niecephew. So exciting.

My two existing nieces could not be any cuter. Ann Marie finally let me hold her for any period of time without screaming bloody murder. We got to hang out quite a bit. Kaylyn is absolutely hilarious. She's to the age where she's almost walking and almost talking. She really likes kitties and puppies. I think for her birthday in July, I'll get her 3 of each. And a drumset.

The reunion was alright. I didn't remember everybody's names, which was a tad embarassing. But I got to see my grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and the newest generation of great-grand children. There were some interesting characters that have managed to marry their way into my lineage. The best part was ... all blonde hair, all blue eyes. It's like the Children of the Corn.

And I'm still single, so if you wanna get in on this, I'm your last chance. HA!

I arrived in Paris late, and feeling a tad under the weather. I'm not sure if it was the travelling, it being the end of a long week, or perhaps the hangover that was beginning to fester, but I felt like crap. I had written the address of my hotel on a piece of paper as one website suggested since none of the cab drivers speak English there. I managed to make it into my room around 10pm.

All I wanted to do was go to bed, but first I forced myself to walk out and get a picture of the Eiffel Tower all lit up at night. Then I took a shower and fell asleep. I was a tad obsessed with the Eiffel, I took about 30 pictures of it from various angles and times. Maybe because it's so phallic, I don't know. But that was the only thing I really wanted to see in Paris.

The next day I didn't feel much better but I thought a brisk walk might help, so off I went to the Eiffel. There were long, long lines waiting to go up each of the four elevators so I nixed that from my plans. Instead I walked up to the Arc de Triumph and snapped a picture. I'm such a horrible tourist. All I could think is that it looked exactly like the pictures I'd seen. I felt nothing toward it. This, coupled with feeling like crap, had forced me to a new low. I couldn't even appreciate history, I didn't need to be there, I should just go home.

But before I did I walked down a street with a bunch of people on it. Hello?! Shopping! I bought some really cool, really Euro stuff. And then I felt much better. I knew the key to happiness was dropping a few hundred Euro. I can't wait to debut it all here. It was like my favorite store here in Dallas: Source Paris, only like one after another after another after another. I was in heaven.

That's really all I did in Paris was take pictures of the Eiffel, walk around briskly, and shop. I found stereotypes about the French to generally be true. Waiting in line for McDonald's this woman shoved me out of the way and then stood in line in front of me. Whathefuck? And the receptionist at the hotel was a fucking bitch. Some guy came in around 11 to check in and she said, "Check in is at 2pm, Aur Revoir!" And he was like, "Well could I just leave my bags or ..." She turns and says louder, "Aur Revoir!" and then turns away. I was like omega I would fucking slam her face against the desk if she did that to me.

I was all too happy to leave Paris. It's a big stinky city full of rude people. But I do love the Eiffel. I liked sitting and eating lunch in its shadow just like I've always wanted to do. I also took a long walk along the Seine, another thing I've always wanted to do. And why? Duh, because I want my life to be like an ABBA lyric:

I've decided to kind of split up the next few blogs into a few different entries. If I were to try and tell you all about my week in one, it would be far, far too long. I'll try to do it in under 5 though, so they can all remain on the main page. Hopefully you've scrolled to the end so you can read them in order.

So Thursday night we decided to treat ourselves to a last-night-in-Malmo type of party. Keith and I went to the Pickwick, the only pub we found that had a true "Happy Hour" as we understand it. I brought my camera with me because I had failed to take a single picture the entire two weeks. I felt so stupid stopping and taking pictures of stuff we'd passed a hundred times before. There is nothing to transform yourself into the perfect tourist like a few Heine pints. We were snapping pictures of everything and everyone and laughing our asses off. So now it's time for dinner.

We would meet Paul the Englishman and the Dweeb in the lobby every night at 7 before we walked to dinner. So around 7 Paul comes down before the Dweeb and we all kind of looked at each other and at the same time said, "Let's go!" Well, really, Paul said, "Shall we?" but same idea. We decided that for our last meal we would enjoy some free time from the Dweeb and it was a great time. We had many more beers with dinner before heading to our favorite little Irish pub for some darts. I was so on fire the first round. They were both like, "Damn, you did learn a lot the other night." But trust me, friends, as the time went on and the beers went down, I started having trouble even hitting the fucking board. It was getting sad so I had to excuse myself.

The next day I was so hungover and tired. I was pretty much just blatantly sleeping at my desk without trying to hide it. What were they gonna do about it? Around 2 I split a cab with Paul the Englishman and we went to the Copenhagen airport at Kastrup. We said our goodbyes and split ways to find our gates. I had a couple hours to kill so I decided to exchange some money into Euros when a familiar voice said, "Better yet, why don't you waste those Kroner on pints?" Oh, Paul the Englishman! He'd found me as we both waited for our flights so we sat and got drunk one last time. It was pretty good for my nerves because I had no fucking idea what I was doing or why. Just going to Paris for the fuck of it. Tres not my style. So off I went into the great unknown. I still miss Sweden, but as you'll see ... it was not the best part of my vacation afterall....

For once, I am going to make good on a future-blog promise and tell you all about the dweeb we are here with. He has a lot of names, actually. Dweeb, Poindexter, Imp, and Alfred E. Newman. I wasn't aware of this fact, but apparently Alfred E. Newman is the name of the character on the front of MAD Magazine. This kid looks EXACTLY like him; I'm so not even kidding. Buckteeth, big ears, and stupid butt-cut hairdo. Normally I wouldn't make fun of someone for the way they look, but after two weeks, this kid is on my last fucking nerve. And you all know what a nice guy I am. Right? ... Right? Fuck you.

Everything I describe is probably going to sound really petty, but it's just one of those things where it wears on you and wears on you until he can do no right. I find myself disagreeing what whatever he says, just for the sake of disagreeing. So far on this trip, we have been doing a lot of drinking. I mean a lot of drinking, and yet, I have only been drunk once (Friday night). They just have a wealth of great beers and we've been stopping into a pub to enjoy a beer or two with Paul the Englishman. We knew we were in trouble the first night when Poindexter ordered water at the bar. "I'm not much of a drinker." He stared as us the entire time we were there until he finally excused himself early. He does that every night now, always in bed by 8. What a waste of a vacation. "Fancy that," Paul said, "Not even being able to enjoy one beer when he's in a pub."

We've made sure everyone here knows he's not a typical American. "He's not a typical anything," seems to be the common response. So he don't drink, he don't smoke, and he goes to bed early every night. Aight, whatever. He'd also never played pool before in his life. Now I'm no pool shark. Being as I grew up with a table maybe I should be, but I still warn people before I play them that I am "no good." So when he warned us he was "no good" I thought he meant he would miss some of the long shots, or suck at banking, or not really know how to use English on the cue ball. HA! If he knew HOW TO USE THE CUE BALL. This fool steps up to the table, grabs the cue stick about halfway down the shaft leaving a huge dead weight behind him he can barely control and takes aim at the 12 ball. Unfathomable. No matter how bad you are, you should at least know to hit the white ball.

Aight, whatev. Maybe biljards aren't his thing. So we play darts another night. Kid has never thrown a dart in his life nor does he have any concept of how to play. Incidentally, I am pretty good at darts now after playing almost every night with Keith and Paul. The other night we were at our favorite little bar here and this guy came in and asked if maybe he could play with us on teams. Sure, what the hell. This dude ends up being ranked like #8 in all of Scandinavia. It was the most incredible thing I've ever seen. We were playing cricket and he would close out like 3 numbers each turn. The guy could tell you where his dart was gonna go and it would go there. I can tell you which quadrant of the board I'll land in, not much more. Keith and Paul headed back to the hotel but I wanted to play more darts so I stayed out late learning from this guy. I improved my game like 100 fold. I was nailing 1 or 2 triple 20's every throw. It was fun.

This is going to be the longest blog ever. Bear with me. So now he's not much of a drinker, not much of a smoker, not much of a pool player, and not much of a darts player. These are starting to add up. But I guess that's cool that he likes to be responsible during the week. That's understandable. The weekends, though, that's when the fun begins. Foreign country, dude! What happens in Sverige, stays in Sverige, right? There's a casino here that I suggested maybe we could check out. Unfortunately, he's "not much of a gambler." Good fuckin' xrist. So I invited him out to Étage with me. He's "not much of a club goer." On Monday when he asked me how my weekend was I said, "Omega, crazy fun. You?" "Well... I don't know how crazy it was [ed: all condescending like] but I saw some parks and canals and really interesting stuff." The only thing homeboy did all weekend was walk around town like we've done a thousand times before. The parks are just empty squares scattered around town, and the canal is just a canal. Nothing to see there.

I don't care if somebody is a nerd, though, as long as they're cool. This guy is nothing of the sort. We went out pretty late on Thursday and that Friday I was a little late to breakfast, a little achy, and a little dehydrated and he says to me, "Heh, that's what you get for starting your weekend on Thursday," a reference to my earlier description of how often I drink which goes: "Monday is Funday, Tuesday is Boozeday, Wednesday is Humpday and Thursday starts the weekend!" If my head hadn't been swimming, I would have jumped over the table and beat him. Then the other day walking back from lunch, Keith and I were enjoying our post-meal cigarettes. He gets this smirk on his face. That's how you can tell he's about to say something that will inevitably be fucking stupid, but he thinks it's clever. He turns to us and says, "You know, I hear that lung cancer is a painful way to die." And I said, "You know, I hear running your fucking mouth is a painful way to die." ... Okay, I didn't say that but I did think of it later.

The four of us go to dinner together every night. It's the most painful part of the day because we have to sit there with the dweeb. He is such a conversation killer. Anything we talk about he kills by saying something retarded, so we generally eat in silence waiting for him to go back to the hotel and then we talk about our days. And we've all kind of taken a turn picking up the tab. We are expensing our meals so it's all free, and if you pick up the tab for a co-worker, that can go under entertainment expenses. And since the only things we really have to talk about are work-related, that's totally kosher. And since I've only paid for dinner about every third night, accounting will certainly notice that I've had my tab picked up other people enough to further justify my reciprocation. Right now you should be thinking to yourself, every third night? Didn't you say there were four of you?" Man, I can't get anything by you. Poindexter refuses to pick up a tab. We started noticing the pattern after the first week and talked about it after he left. We agreed he was OBVIOUSLY the most socially inept person alive so he probably didn't realize he needed to pick one up. So we blatantly said, "Alright dude, it's your turn tonight." And he refused!

He is afraid that he won't be able to expense it since it's entertainment, although I suspect he just has moral conflicts with paying for beer. But still, come on, we all work for the same fucking company, they WILL reimburse it. Especially if you haven't paid for a since dinner yet since you've been to Sweden. g*d, this kid pisses me off. He's just one of those people that when you catch him looking at you, you just kinda wanna smash his face in. But you don't because you are a pacifist.

You should see him at breakfast. It's one of the oddest things I've ever seen. Dude will get about 12 slices of bread ... all different kinds. And he'll proceed to eat them... dry... with nothing to drink. And when he's done with that, he gets up and gets a bowl full of this granola-nut-muesli cluster concoction. It's very hearty, European cereal. He proceeds to eat the whole bowl ... dry. I like it just fine, but I soak mine with milk for a while before I eat it or else I just feel like a horse. And when he's done with that, he gets up and gets a plate full of crackers... and eats them dry. He is so fucking weird.

He actually reminds me a lot of my fourth college roommate, Clark. He's got that same irritating manner about him, which leads me to suspect this kid is a hardcore x-tian. Thank jebus I only have to see him one more day, and then with any luck, never, never again.

I hope everyone had a vurry murry Xmas. I know I did ... and I don't even believe in jebus! My preggers sister and her hubby and my brother, his wife and baby daughter all came to town. My other brother in California couldn't make it this year. It was a blast opening presents, especially watching Kaylyn open hers. I got some pretty good booty, and since everyone else is doing booty posts right now, I wanted my own booty post. (I think it's stupid to call it booty.)

I wanted to make it easy for you all to skim and see what I got so I made this kickass picture of my stuff. What you see here is:

1. trashcan for my bathroom
2. proper wine opener
3. silly bottles of peppers for my kitchen
4. wine from the Sierra Foothills
5. three sizes of cookie sheets and a pizza sheet
6. space heater WITH remote control ha!
7. little wooden rubber band powered airplane?

All that and a bag of chips. And by "bag of chips" I mean a "fat check from my parents that will pay for half of a plane ticket to Australia and cements the fact that I am really going." So exciting. The greatest gift was my family going to church without hassling me, guilt tripping me, or even inviting me. I was overwhelmed by that gesture.

I'm not sure what's on the slate for New Years but I'm pretty sure I am going to run around Dallas with Ryan Short. If anybody would like to join hit me up before then. Ugh, I have to work this week. That's going to suck. Czech you sluts later.

HAPPY SOLSTICE!!!!!1! Today it was 70 degrees and the forecast for tomorrow is snow.

Here are some things I've probably told all you at one time or another, but I need to get them out there, because it will make future blogs easier to write.

First, I am giving up drinking for an entire month. I have selected February as my dry month, for the obvious reason that it is the shortest month and I'm concerned that this will be next to impossible for me. There are several reasons that I am doing this. The first of which is that I'm concerned that this wil be next to impossible for me. It's that whole, "I can quit anytime," mentality that gets people into trouble. So I want to make sure I can still quit anytime. I have also been disturbingly unproductive since I moved here. I need to finish decorating and painting and everything. But the biggest reason is that I need money. I am going to see Allison is Australia in July and one alcohol free month will pay for the entire thing. Yeah, its that out of hand.

The fun thing is, February is 28 days long. So I am going recreate Sandra Bullocks commanding performance in 28 Days (not to be confused with its sequel, 28 Days Later).

In foreign news, I might get to go to Sweden for two weeks for work. I don't care if they make me do fucking manual labor in Sweden, it will fucking rawk. It's not certain in the least that I will get to go but I really, really, really hope I do. I've been pretty pushy about it at work, vying for the opportunity.

Lastly, I am never cutting my hair again. Never. Every day that I don't cut my hair, I am happier than the day before. This counteracts the fact that every day that I go to work is worse than the day before. So I am flatlined right now.

I think that's all that I had to report. I've had about 15 conversations during the time that I was typing this so I got a little sidetracked. Time to go to the gym for a cardio day. Whoo hoo. Later, sluts.

My trip to College Station was a rousing success. I saw so many people that I haven't seen in forever. I met a bunch of new people too. And somewhere in the middle of those two experiences ... I met lots of people that I've known for years but never bothered to remember -- namely, ALL of Keiff's female friends. The drive down was a b-last. It's been so long since team Gill 'n Al have made a road trip. We rawked out the whole way. Trying to describe it in words will only fall short, but I'll just say that I almost passed out from singing the Moulin Rouge soundtrack too loud.

I don't want to go into too much narration about my weekend, but I did take a shower at Jason's, stop off at Dustin and Trey's, see Marshall at Hoblob (his hair is so hot now), check out Tommy's ultra chic downtown loft, visit Josh and Nely, and attend Burns' and Lauren's ring dunking party. Burns was pretty optimistic about beating my modest 65 second mark, but he fell quite short. I think he came in at 94, which I say assuming he will correct me if I'm wrong. Lauren took several minutes, but I was still proud of her for finishing decently for a girl. Of course, chugging beer is what college ... nay, life ... is all about, but I suppose some congratulations are in order for even attaining the coveted Aggie Ring. So congrats, children, congrats.

After drinking all the free beer we could, Dustin, Trey, Jason, Tommy and I all ventured over to Halo. I saw so many people there. It was way too fun. I drank myself retarded, attempted to dance, had many conversations that are not catalogued in my ever decreasing memory banks. This was a fantastic trip to CS, I accomplished all of my goals of alcoholism.

In other exciting news, Allison got herself a job for when she graduates in December. She's been interning at HP for a while now and has decided to further that career professionally. The exciting part? She's been hired in Sydney fucking Australia. How awesome is that?! Major congrats to her! I am already saving up for my plane ticket to go visit her. Who knows ... if I like it there, I could always transfer to Sydney. Our three world headquarters are Sydney, Australia, Malmo, Sweden, and Carrollton, Texas (obviously). I'm way excited for her, even though it's a little depressing that she'll be on the other side of the world by the end of January. So our party on December 11th in College Station that you're all clearing your calendars for will now be a Thanksgiving/Graduation/Bon Voyage. Huzzah!

And finally, I've been inundated with the word 'insurgent' since this whole Fallujah thing, in conjunction with my NPR habit, started. I finally decided to look it up and find out what it actually means.
in·sur·gent (n-sûrjnt) adj. --
1. Rising in revolt against established authority, especially a government.
2. Rebelling against the leadership of a political party.

Turns out, I'm an insurgent.

Welcome to June, everybody. The date of my departure is nigh. I'm thinking I'm gonna go to Austin on Friday to stay with Leslie and hang out with Brandon and then head back to Dallas to await my start date. I have to be at work at 8am. This is going to be quite a challenge. The only way its going to possibly happen is if I'm in bed by 10pm. I'm not sure I'm ready for that lifestyle, though if you asked my body it would probably disagree. Who knows, though. Maybe work will just be a blast. I'm getting to do design instead of installation so that is good news.

Two nights ago, Allison and I got krunk on Coors and sat out back of Northgate drinking our free beer. On the way home, I was absolutely starving, as I've been saving money by only eating once a day whilst in College Station. We decided to stop through Whataburger (duh!). I just wanted to let you all know that this is a possibility, in case it had not occured to you previously. We got four bacon, egg and cheese AND sausage AND potato taquitos. Omega, get excited. They were incredible. And when I saw my friend who now recognizes me at Whataburger, I told her, "Oh yeah and also throw in a handful of fries for free." And she did! How fucking rad is that. I love her. I had to tell this story since there was a request for it on the last post.

You know what I was thinking about the other day? When you just kind of meet someone one day but don't really know them ... but every time you run into them you're obliged to say hello. And we call these people "Hi" buddies. Well when I'm online, I have "Hey. Sup? NM. Coo." buddies. Chew on that.

Hello all I am updating you from an ultra shady tour company that also has computers available for increments of 15 minutes online. Don't you feel special. Really, I just wanted to sit down. We have been walking up and down the beach and through the streets of South Beach all fucking day and I am more tired that I have been in a long time.

In short, I am home. I fucking love this place. As soon as we got here I knew that I was going to have a good time. Every club we've been to has been absolutely bumping. Every person we've seen has been beautiful. And the shopping! OMG. I can't tell you how awesome the stores are here. I dropped 150 bucks today in a shop called Scorch, and it was all I could do to not empty out my bank account and charge the rest to my credit card. The clothes here were out of this world. Well, out of this country, actually. She said one of the shirts I got was from Spain, not sure about the others. The sales girl was so nice though. She said any time I want I can call them up and she'll take some digital photos of new clothes and send them to me if I want them. I will definitely take her up on this. 27, you are going to be so jealous of one shirt I got.

The beach here is also beautiful. We spent the morning getting over hangovers and basking in the sun, even though I was wearing SPF 48. Hahaha, my white ass is not going out to a club with a lobster burn. Last night we cruised up and down Ocean Drive, which is like the most happening street I've ever bar hopped on. Then we ended up at this gay club called Twist. It was out of control. Allison and I earned free drinks by getting on stage with the emcee, who just happened to be a large Columbian drag queen. Whatever, you know us, we'll do anything for a free drink.

Not sure whats up for tonight. We already spent the afternoon people watching at Wet Willie's -- this bar where all they serve are frozen drinks, but they have like 30 flavors. We're big fans ... but we didn't tip today so we don't feel like we can really go back in good conscience. I think we're gonna go to a club on Lincoln Street (the best shopping street I've ever been on). The girl from Scorch suggested it to us. She was so helpful. Thank god we finally got the scoop from a true hip local. This is truly paradise, kids. I am not playing. If I could find a job here in the next two days, I would honestly not come home. Now I know what Will was talking about when he called Miami his second home. Definite vacation spot in the future.

I guess I should go now, I only have a little bit of time left on my 15 minute interval and I don't want to pay anymore money. I would share pictures but my camera is out of batteries, damnit. Don't worry about me though, just in case you were, cause ITS ALL GOOD. Laaaaaaaaate.

Allison and I eventually did nail down our plans. I am reaching out to you all from the comforts of Plano at my parents' house (soon to be my residence as well). We drove up here today when I woke up from my drunken stupor and are departing tomorrow at 8am for Miami, Florida. I hear the rainstorms ain't nothin' to mess with, but I can't feel a drip on the strip.

We got a combo flight and hotel deal, so that's all taken care of. But I definitely had to go buy a whole new wardrobe for going out in South Beach. Ain't no surprise in the club to see Sly Stalone. I didn't want to look out of place so I spent $200 at Express. I needed to do that anyway. I even bought a pair of shorts -- my first in years and years. I've heard temperatures can reach 500 degrees on the Carribean Seas with the hot mommies screaming, "Aiy, Papi!" So I didn't want to get too hot.

Not sure how we're gonna get around so much. Hundred thousand dollar cars, e'erybody got'em, but we're too young to rent a car so we're just gonna try to walk everywhere. At least our hotel is right on the beach so that won't be a problem. We should be back on Thursday. I only came for two days of playin', but every time I come I always wind up stayin'. This the type of town I could spend a few days in. And then its back to College Station for my swan song ... then real life begins.

I'll be sure to update you all just as soon as I return to the land of peon, wanna-be, have-nots. Can ya'll feel me? All ages and races ...

So much has happened since last we met, faithful Sidesho-Viewers. I apologize half-heartedly for the impromptu hiatus from the blog. Since last we met, a couple of very exciting and life-altering things have taken place in my life. Let's discuss, shall we?

First things first, I graduated from Texas A&M with a Bachelor of Science degree in Engineering Technology. Whoop. This might just be a piece of paper with my name on it, but it is also my ticket out of here. You see, that company that finally called me back have made their official offer and I have accepted. It's off to the Big D for yours truly. Any of you that have followed my webpage have only ever read about my many adventures while living in College Station (unless you are a VERY long time viewer and remember Chicken Cherry Cola or If I Had My Own Domain, It'd Be Vid.com). Now we're all going to have to make this move together as I transplant my life back to Dallas. Ironic, isn't it ... that the one child that probably wanted to get away the most has traveled the least, as the crow flies.

At the onset, I am going to move back in with my parents. This will keep me from having to go and find an apartment right away. I'm not sure if I want to live in Carrollton right close to the office, or if I might like to live downtown, or somewhere else. So this will give me an opportunity to see if I have a social life in Dallas and where the epicenter of that is. It also keeps me from having to pay rent. Which is a good thing. As long as I am staying at home, every dime I make is pure profit. So I want to save up for at least a couple of months just to have some money to stand on before I try to move out on my own and start accumulating nice things.

Since graduation all I've done is eat, sleep and drink. And its surprising how having NOTHING to do can keep you so busy. I am moving out of my apartment on Thursday. So I'll no longer live here. I think Friday, Allison and I are going to float the Guadalupe again, and then Monday, maybe flying to Miami. Our plans have changed slightly and may no longer include California. We shall see.

And last but not least ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARSHALL!!!!1!!!!!

OUCH, my head hurts. It's 3:30 in the am ... I woke up a couple hours ago completely disoriented and confused as to what time it was, where I was, etc. Owen was watching TV and I was sleeping on the couch and the shows he was watching kept ending up in my dreams. It took me a few minutes to realize I wasn't the general of an army throwing people from a moving vehicle. God, why do I always have such murderous dreams.

Anyway, the reason my sleep schedule is so fucked up is because I pulled an all-nighter last night to finish a project. I did a piss poor job. I'm concerned I won't pass this class. Hopefully there will be a large curve. But I was already so tired to begin with, I couldn't believe I made it through the night and into the next afternoon. It was not without the help of coffee and cigarettes. I finally got to bed around 1pm and woke up at like 6. I thought perhaps I could stay up and be normal but after Owen and I ate at Fitz's, I crashed again, hardcore. This is not good because I have an assload to do by Thursday, but once again my stupid body is requiring food and sleep. It is so annoying like that.

The schedule for the next two weeks or so: Thursday, user manuals, installation guides, trouble shooting guides etc are due as well as the technical presentation and demonstration of our greenhouse project we've been working on for the past year. Probably the biggest hurdle. Friday-Saturday, feverishly finishing final documentation for that project, studying for a final in the class that I'm concerned about passing. Monday, take that final. Monday through Wednesday, work on a program that will test parameters of an Analog to Digital Converter that Owen and I haven't started yet. That is due Wednesday at noon along with our take home final. Wednesday night -- drink lots and lots, pray that grades go through. Friday at 9am, my graduation. After that, I will move all my stuff out of my apartment back home to Dallas. May 20th my lease is up and somewhere in there, I am going to California with Allison. Very hectic. Cannot wait to be done.

So if I don't update, please don't hate me. And for those of you moving back home for the summer and stuff, don't forget to bookmark SideshoViD.com and keep in contact with me. Where ever I go and whatever I do SVC will remain a constant way to see what I've been up to. I love you all, in spite of the fact that you are all a bunch of have-nots.

The time is upon us, dear Sidesho-Viewers. In about 12 hours I will be on a plane to Las Vegas, Nevada for 3 days of glorious sinful fun. I'm starting to get really excited as I pack my bags and make last minute errands and purchases for things I might want. Hey, I know. I'll tell you what. If I win more than, say, $5,000 at the craps table (which is fairly likely) I will give anyone that leaves a comment a crisp, new $100 dollar bill. Yes my friends, the Sidesho-Bribery is back!

I will return to College Station on Tuesday. I'm going to chill and relax until Friday to go home for my brother's wedding. I would leave sooner but Allison is my date to the wedding and she only got off work for the weekend. Then (as I think I've stated several times) I will rush back to College Station to move into my new duplex. Then, of course, its time for the house-warming par-tay ... ooowwww! I'll let you all know when that's gonna be, cause I KNOW you all wanna be there. Anywho, I'm gonna go eat, take a nap (our sleep schedule's gonna be all screwy with the 6am flight and losing 2 hours) and then pack my bags and be on my way. Wish me luck...

Viva Las Vegas!

I am finally back in College Station. I woke up this morning around 4:30am (California time) to leave for the airport in San Francisco. I think we got into Dallas around 4:00 CST. Then I hopped in the car and set out for Aggieland. Being stuck in traffic for over an hour extended my car trip to 4 and a half hours. I am so sick of travelling. And I have a migraine now, but anyway...

My week was fun. I went to San Francisco with my parents. We spent 2 days there doing the whole tourist thing. We went to Fisherman's Wharf, Alcatraz, Coit Tower, rode the trolley car, drove over the Golden Gate, etc, etc. Then we went to Sacremento to visit my brother. There we went to one of his softball and one of his soccer games. We also went wine tasting, but I was the DD.

All in all the week was a little more hectic than I prefer. But it was really fun. If you need more detail than this, you can always IM me. Now let's play a little game. Everyone who cares to share, Post a Comment on this blog and give us a little soundbite about how your Spring Break went.

Sadly, I don't have a lot to update you on. I think Plano exists directly under an anomaly in the space-time continuum which allows time to move at like a third the rate it does everywhere else.

But that will all change soon because I am leaving for San Francisco at around 6:30am tomorrow. Well, thats when we're leaving for the airport. We're taking off at like 10:30 and landing around 11. Time zones are so weird. It should be fun, and you, the loyal Sidesho-Viewer, will be the first to hear about it.

In the meantime, I've been hanging out at the mall. I got the new Kylie Minogue CD. It's pretty good, I haven't listened to the whole thing yet. That's what road trips are for. I have also seen some of my P-town friends. I went to Martinez Cafe with Ryan tonight, just like we used to EVERY day in high school. It was fun. I won't be posting for a couple days, but you can still visit my page if you like. Laaaaate.