It's becoming apparent that my blog is dying. After almost 9 years of recorded history, the relevance is starting to wear thin. I'm trying to think of some fitting way to say goodbye, but for now it'll probably just sit and stagnate for a while since I still use the FTP associated with my account. Maybe I'll print out every blog and bind it in a big book that can be relived time and again. Maybe some day one of my ancestors will say, I wonder what David was like in college. And then read it and be like oh dear god I wish I'd never known. Then again, I won't have any ancestors, but y'know ... children of my nieces and nephews grandchildren. People like that.

So sorry if any of you are still checking. I think I might be checking out for realz this time, but you never know. If I change my mind you'll be the first to know.

I think Facebook is to blame for the decline in the number of posts that I make on SVC. It used to be that I'd save up every little thought and occasionally combine them into a blog. But now that I essentially tweet, those little thoughts leak out until I have nothing left to say when a blog comes around. Even todays post has generally been addressed already on Facebook. I already posted this picture. But I think it is badass enough to warrant showing it to my Sidesho Viewers who may not be avid social networkers.

So we paid painters to come in and paint every last inch of wall space in the condo. And they did an amazing job. If you ever need painters, let me know and I'll recommend them to you. But in the bedroom we knew that we wanted to do something funky, something with stripes, and we wanted to do it ourselves. After the base coat of regal plum went down, I was already in love with the palette. The white trim really pops out against the dark, dark purple. And since the lights are rarely very high in this space, it's not really purple, it's just rich and dark. But I wanted to kind of vomit color on it, make it a little cacophonous. And the design I came up with was a technicolor barcode. It cost a lot of money for a bunch of little cans of paint, and took two solid days of taping and painting and taping and painting, but we finally arrived at this final result:

And I love it. I think its the best bedroom I've done so far. Now you KNOW I don't like to toot my own horn, but just this once, in this special situation, I think it's well deserved. TOOT! TOOT!

Today I accepted a job offer. After about 2 years of frustration in my current position, I will be transitioning over to tech support for my company. It's a big move and one I think will result in crazy amounts of job satisfaction. The only downside is that I won't be sitting next to all of my friends, but I'll still be in the same building and we can still go to lunch together, so hopefully that won't be a very big deal. It's been a long time coming and I can't wait to get started. But I don't make the move until May 15.

I don't normally talk about work, but I thought that was at least worthy of a mention. In other news, damn I haven't updated in a while. I'm falling back into that mindset of maybe I should let SideshoViD.com join the annals of history. It doesn't do me any harm to keep it going other than 19 dollars a month, but I just hate stagnant blogs and mine never has been one before. We'll see.

We've had a little bit of fun since the jury duty episode. For one thing, the Allistralian and her then fiance Dom stopped through town. I had them help me hatch an elaborate birthday scheme for Daniel's 25th. A few days prior I had gone and purchased the new Dyson DC25 vacuum as a present, but rather than just giving it to Daniel, I concocted a script with Dom. He came over on a Saturday because Allison was busy at a wedding shower or something. And he brought with him a birthday potted plant. I think it went over so well just because he's British and when he says, "Everyone needs a pot plant," Daniel just took it as normal. Then he said, "But don't water it because it's already been watered." I had asked him to throw that in there because the plan was to knock the dirt on the ground and I really didn't want it to be mud.

So we were spending the day in and out of the apartment by the pool. And when we got back before Daniel, Dom spooned some of the dirt onto the carpet and then exclaimed, "Oh shit Daniel sorry," right as he was coming back in. And just as planned, he ran to get the vacuum. Only our vacuum was gone and replaced with the Dyson. It was pretty classic. He seems to really like his birthday present. Derrr. Wouldn't you? On a sadder note, Allison and Dom have decided to go their separate ways starting right meow. You can read about that on their travel blog whileyouwereworking.com.

Not much else to report at this time. If I think of something, I'm going to try to update a little more going forward. Later, skillets.

It has occurred to me recently that I don't really update my webpage all that often. And when I do, I don't really feel as though I have those golden nuggets of wisdom nearly as often as I used to. And I'm going to be honest with you. I thought about ending SideshoViD.com. As much as I try to entertain my loyal Sidesho Viewers, its really more just a journal for me. I thought I could save it to my hard drive and just call that a chapter of life.

Then SideshoViD.com went away.

I thought at first that it was Earthlink's problem. My website and my email were both broken so I shrugged it off and ignored it as I so often do with life's little problems. But after 3 days of consecutive down time I started to get worried. So I checked to make sure they were still billing me. And they were not. I hadn't paid for my website since November. Oops. So I called them and asked them why I wasn't notified that my payment was past due and they said they tried to contact me at @aol.com and at my parent's old house phone number. So I was like yeah, maybe its time to update my account information. 24 hours later, we are back in business.

My first reaction to learning that my website had been canceled for non-payment was to blog about it and complain. And I couldn't. So then I thought, ooh, that would be a good blog too, about how I want to blog and I can't. But I couldn't. It was like when the electricity goes out in your house, but you still flick every light switch in every room and are momentarily surprised and upset that the lights don't come on before you remember the electricity's out. Yeah. That. That's the metaphor for how I felt about no longer having this outlet. Sudden bursts of panic.

So even though I'm not funny any more. Even though I don't have any readers any more. Even though I can't get comments anymore because of spam. SideshoViD.com isn't going ANYWHERE.

Since I know you've all been waiting with baited breath (if you've been eating anchovies), I've come to share the results of my experiment. I left a sacrificial beer out over night until it reached room temperature (which, oddly enough, when it's cold outside is around 75, although during the summer hovers closer to 65 ... must be the dew point). Parenthetical interjections aside, I am proud to announce that my digital thermometer plunged from 75 to 32 (as low as the thermometer goes -- d'oh, sorry I'll stop interrupting) in under 2 minutes. And that was with the beer not fully submerged so I could measure it!

I can now rest easy knowing that so long as I leave my largest tupperware container filled with salt water in the freezer, i can always have ice cold beer in under a minute. Whew! One less thing to worry about.

In other news, some fuck head screwed up my webpage the other night. Unfortunately for him, I check my comments about every 2 to 3 minutes. Jonny was his name. Whatever html code he had posted in my comments section automatically redirected me to some website that I had to click to enter. I was too scared to do it, though, because no good comes from that. But you, my faithful viewers, are inevitably braver than I (or on the library computer so who cares?). So I need you to go to http://usuc.us/j.php and tell me what it is. It even fucked up the inner workings of my webpage, so I had to go thru each entry with comments still open, open it in notepad, erase his damage, and then resync everything. It was quite a pain in the ass. Oh, and now, no html allowed in comments any more ('cept bold, italic and links). Fucker.

Also, just for the record, if you are ever redirected off of my website, then just shut down Internet Explorer. I never, under any circumstances, allow you to leave my website. All of my links always open in a new window. Just, y'know, in case this is an identity theft thing.

Whailp, I guess that's all I have to say. Fuck you, Jonny. The rest of you are cool. Peace out.

Als ich mein kleines Diagramm heute morgen saege, beachtete ich, daß mein Punkt über Deutschland gewachsen war. Das bedeutet, daß ich mehr als zehn Besucher von dort gehabt habe. Da ich nur eine Person in Deutschland kenne, muß es mein Freund Marc sein, die meine Web site liest. So wollte ich erklären ihm hallo.

I'm takin over the world, baby. In fact, on BBC.com, they just had an article about the happiest countries in the world. Denmark came in first place. The U.S. was 23rd. This little map shows happiness in the world with red being the most happy and yellow being the most African. I took the liberty of overlaying my ClustrMap dots on top of this map. If you'll notice you'll see that the highest concentration of my dots are all over the happiest countries of the world. Coincidence? I think not. I am the light.

I made Daniel go out to Antonio's with me last night because I wanted to attempt to have a cocktail. I wasn't sure if the alcohol would sting my throat, or if alcohol would go right up my nose as water as been doing. (Did I already mention that the uvula is responsible for closing off the nasal passage when swallowing?) Well, I am happy to report that I had two "very, very dirty Absolut martinis," my drink of choice these days, and had absolut-ly no problems. I'm back, baby! Although, I did have a problem that maybe you alchys can help me with....

My first martini was delicious. And really, there's so much olive brine in my glass that it's hard to taste much of anything but that. However, I thought I detected an overbearingness of vermouth. When the waiter came to see if I wanted a refill I said, "Yes, oh and I think I forgot to mention, I also wanted it dry." And he said, "Oh, I'm sorry. So, more vermouth? You got it."

I was under the impression that a "dry martini" -- or a "dry vodka martini" for you purists -- would contain less vermouth than a regular martini. The research I've done online this morning suggests I'm correct. Wikipedia says, "A dry martini uses less dry vermouth than normal, perhaps a dash or lace of the glass." That makes no sense that a dry martini would use less dry vermouth, but it matches up with my original assumption. Am I right or am I retarded? What I want is a martini glass filled with equal parts of olive juice and ice cold vodka. How would one go about ordering this?

I'm really diggin' this ClustrMaps thing I have going on. I want to thank Joseph for emailing me about it. Looks like the Sidesho is a lot more popular on the east coast than the west. Should I mold my brand of humor to benefit my already strong demographic? You know, make jokes about the Atlantic ocean n stuff. Or maybe I should be focusing on trying to bring up the readership in states I don't already have an uncompromising strong-hold on. Perhaps I'll start with Utah. Haha, fucking Mormons. They're all insane, did you know that? It's like the perfect blend of xristianity and Scientology. They think jebus will fly them a spaceship and drop their asses off on their own planet where they'll be free to engage in secret handshakes and secret tacky underwear without being under the watchful eye of rational people. joey smith bless 'em, they're all fucking mad!

Well that was tangential. My hungover posts tend to be a bit more random than the sober ones. My brother's wife's brother was supposed to come get my old couch, oh, 6 weeks ago. I was going to donate it but as a personal favor to him, I held onto it. It's totally cluttering my apartment. He couldn't find a truck so I gave him 3 weeks to do so, after which my brother's wife had to go to the hospital for a bit and her brother went to Houston to help out. So then I felt bad and had to give him an extension on picking it up. But that was like 3 weeks ago, so I've had this shit for a WHILE. On Thursday, the Salvation Army is coming by to get it. I can't wait to get my entryway back.

Went out on the yacht again on Thursday. I left work early and met the troops. They pulled into port to pick me up and were just gonna swing by the dock, I'd make a running leap onto the boat and we'd speed out of there. No need to park or any of that nonsense. So they pulled up, I jumped on and we sped off ... right into a sandbar. Luckily the lake was deserted, because we were fucking stuck. It was pretty funny but we couldn't laugh because Alexander was getting pissed. After about 20 minutes of revving the engines in reverse and kicking up a ton of dirt in the water, we finally got out on the lake. They had blown up a little 3-seater raft and were dragging it behind the boat. I rode it for a while. It was hella fun but I'm not much of a thrill seeker so I got back on the boat and let Kelly take my place. Next time we do that, I'm gonna go ahead and suggest we all have life vests on. As much as I'd hate a life vest tan, Jordan almost died. We hit this huge wave, Daniel threw up, and Jordan went limp, airborn, and under. It was scary and funny. He said he didn't remember falling out and woke up in the lake. Luckily he was okay. Not too much else happened -- oh, except that I can officially say I've been skinny dipping in Lake Lewisville. No details!

So I haven't worked out in like a month. Don't know why, I'm just lazy and can't get back into it. I was really concerned when I went the other day (isolated incident) that I would have gained back all that weight I worked so hard to lose. But I weighed myself ... and I lost three more pounds!!!1! Do you believe that shit? This "eating right" malarky must really work. g*d, I eat so much more than I used to. I usually have at least 6 meals a day and they're all packed with nutritional goodness. That makes a grand total of 21 pounds lost from the time I started eating right. I don't think you could have looked at me a few months ago and said "hey fatty mcfatfatfat fuckfat, lose some weight." Like I don't think I looked that fat, but fuck me, I look good now. I don't even think I weighed this little when I graduated college. Rawk.

Let's see, let's see, what else can I brag about. Oh! I think I might be an amazing cook. The other day I was in the grocery store and randomly decided to cook dinner for Daniel. I think all he ever eats is fast food junk food, and he's been having problems with his stomach so I thought a home cooked meal would be good for him. I roasted a g*ddamned chicken! Do you believe that shit? I like stuffed it with onions and celery and put a dry rub on it of salt, pepper, all spice, and cinnamon. And I baked it for 2 hours, and basted it every 20 minutes. It was so insane. I'm a masterbaster. It came out like perfect. Its the best chicken I've ever had. And on top of that, the whole bird was 6 dollars, and I got two very large dinner portions and a whole heaping plate of leftovers. I'm going to roast a bird once a week from now on. If we'd stop going out for oysters and wood fired lobster maybe I'd actually get a chance to eat some of my chicken delight.

I think that should be enough for now. I'm heading to my parents' house to watch World Cup Soccer with my brother Michael. He is in from California. His daughter Kelsey is THE cutest thing on Earth (perfectly tied with Kaylyn and Ann Marie). Then I get to have dinner with Miss Allison "Google" Hoffmann. What a great day. Oh and my sister called. She is having a boy! Two nephews coming soon! Later skillets.

Alright, look. I know why people do it. It's because I'm a bastard. I get it. Turnabout fair play blah blah blah. But look here to the right where I quote my little stabs at people's grammar and spelling. They're fucking hilarious. I take a typographical error within the context of the conversation and turn it into a joke. It's so different from what you people do to me.

I don't know how many times I have been having an IM conversation and I say some shit like, "I'm going to teh mall," and people will reply with, "TEH mall? What is TEH mall roflz!!!!1" Not funny. It's not that the comment in and of itself bothers me, but the fact that you are so fucking not funny. Correcting my spelling or my grammar or my word usage isn't cute, it's fucking obnoxious. People that do it are fucking obnoxious.

I'm not typing these things to you ever few days in some word processor with spell check. I write them in a format very similar to Notepad. I do this because as much as I write them in my head before I sit down, they always flow a little better and little differently when I type them out as fast as I possibly can. And that is unbelievably fast and usually with some sort of rythmn to the keys. I don't bother myself with spelling and grammar because it would be a detriment to the humor.

As dedicated as I am to being correct, and as much as I skim over the entries once before I post them, holy fucking shit, I occasionally make a mistake. Do you see how many words are on this fucking screen, how many entries I've typed in the past 3 years? What are the g*d damn odds that I would not know that stalactites aren't spelled the same as stalagmites. Or that a caveat isn't actually an exception to a rule, just a qualification or explanation of one. Give me a fucking break. And just be forewarned that if you find a mistake in this entry, it won't be the least bit amusing to point it out.

If you don't have something funny to say, don't say anything at all.

My blog affects my life immensely. It can manifest in two ways. Either I alter my usual patterns hoping to generate a blog-worthy story, or the things that I've said on my website are read by people who then affect my life. That's why I do shit like ear candling and enrolling in the art institute. The other night, I ran into Ryan Short and he started hitting me because I said he always disagrees with me. Those are just a few examples of a constant whirlwind. SideshoViD.com is never far from my mind.

I tell you this, because I don't want you to think I've left you hanging. 90% of the day, I am writing blogs in my head. And I've written this one again, and again, and again, and again. If I write something happy-go-lucky, it will appear to others that I am flighty and disengaged. If I write something too honest, I'll betray my own self, and won't stand to entertain any of you, which is always one of my goals. I don't know what I'm really trying to say, just basically informing you that I'm going to just try to pick and choose humorous anecdotes from my day and highlight those, but I am, in no way, belittling anything that has happened recently.

I got a new noise machine for my bedroom -- The Sound Soother 50. It was really expensive, but it came with a remote control, I can plug my iPod into it and use it as a speaker, and the sounds are incredibly real. I've been sleeping with "downpour" a lot and I like to nap with "bamboo chimes." Another favorite of mine is "clothes dyer." There are a few questionable ones like "pasture" and "buggy ride," like who the fuck wants to fall asleep to cows mooing. You'd have to be a country-ass bumpkin. "Heartbeat" is also kinda creepy, but I think that's supposed to be good for babies. I just had to get some sort of background noise to block out anything ambient. My brain has started taking sounds it hears while I'm sleeping, creating a terrifying story to explain the sound, and overlaying it on top of my actual sights and sounds as I sleepwalk. Technically, they're not nightmares, since nightmares are types of dreams, dreams only occur during REM, and my brain does not go into REM. Their official name is night terrors. Hahaha. Fucking great.

I've stopped taking Provigil. While the doctor said that it had nothing to do with my heart rate, I found myself with a resting heart rate of 145bpm. Just to put that in perspective, it should be less than 80bpm ... the only reason your heart should beat 145 times per minute is if you have just sprinted a 5k. That was a concern for me so I stopped the Provigil. It's been hard, but I'm feuling my body now with complex carbohydrates and natural fructose to offset the ill effects of ideopathic hypersomnia (aka excessive sleepiness, but ideopathic hypersomnia sounds more medical). A high resting heart rate is known as tachycardia. Fuck me sideways, I knew I was broken-hearted, but I didn't know I had a broken heart.

I'm looking forward to several appointments with doctors in the following weeks. I'm probably going to be having lots of surgeries and procedures to aid me in my breathing, and then we can shift focus to addressing these K-alpha complex waves my brain produces for no reason. Yippee.

I hung out last night with my most sabulous friend, Brett. We had a lot of fun. He said his father still reads my website. He was concerned about me and had wanted to put a comment on my comment-less post a couple back. He also said he had left me a comment once but wouldn't ever tell Brett which one. It took me all of half a second to say, "I bet he was the one who left me that 'Stone Age to the Space Age and still no follow up on what bar was first' comment after Febrehabruarii." He just spoke with him and sure enough, I was right. I know my website way too well. Like I said, I am both it's unforgiving master, and it's unwitting slave.

Next week I am meeting three days with my new personal trainer. We've set up a program for me that should have me around 15% body fat before summer. I'm refocusing my negative, self-destructive energy as of late into a rather obsessive dedication to self-improvement. I've already lost 12 pounds, but that was mostly from an unintentional anorexia, but I was pleased that I didn't rebound at all. I'm viewing eating now, not as an enjoyable social experience, but as a necessity to feul my body. I have been eating SO well for the past few days and I already feel infinitely better. Just wait, people, I'll come out the other end of this better for it. I fucking guarantee.

Have a good week at work, and I'll be trying to find things to talk about throughout the week. Laaaaaaaaaaaate.

I am twice the uncle I was yesterday morning. My second niece, Ann Marie, was born yesterday evening around 5:30pm. Maybe I should call her my "youngest" niece instead of my "second" niece. I really don't want to set up a hierarchy until they are old enough to do gymastics and spelling bees and such.

This is my sister's first baby. From what I hear all are doing well, and she is happy and healthy with 10 fingers, 10 toes, and a full head of black hair.

Black hair?! That's right. This kid is not a Fisher. I am leaving bright and early tomorrow morning to go meet Ann Marie. Living equadistant from your two child-having siblings has its advantages. I need to go down and see my brother and Kaylyn (and Rachel) soon. Maybe I'll do that just as soon as I get back from Sweden.

So that means no craziness for me tonight. It gives me a convenient excuse to stay home and work on my new layout, which I would have done anyway, but now people won't judge me as harshly. I'm hoping to finish it tonight, but there's a chance I won't. Then I'll be in OKC all day tomorrow possibly returning tomorrow night to attend a very 1Miles birthday celebration. We'll see how it pans out. Hope you kids have a good weekend!

Last night was such a hoot. I tell ya. It was the official opening of the spring party season hosted by Brian and Jarrod. As double duty, Jarrod was also celebrating a birthday, so happy birthday to him! I began the evening by attending a party in Addison Circle that I had been "invited" to via a myspace.com bulletin board message from some guy named Dan Paul. It's so unlike me, but it was an art showing/party and it was right here. So I went and checked it out. Lindsay accompanied me. There was some cool shit there. One guy had a painting of Ziggy Stardust that was unreal. If it hadn't have been 650 dollars I would have bought it. I still might.

From there I went to the birthday party downtown. We drank, we laughed, we went to the bars. We drank more. I was just a shade light of shitcanned by the end of the night. I had a little bit of trouble walking but not too much. Ryan and I bought hotdogs from a street vendor who took credit cards. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Cheese and rice. Except he didn't have any rice.

This morning we eventually woke up. I felt/looked terrible. But we went to brunch with Adam. They have free mimosas with brunch. Shut up, I drank like 12. A good buzz sure took the edge off my hangover. I most definitely came home and went to bed.

Are you sitting down? It's been a while since I've said this, but ... some very exciting things are happening at SideshoViD.com and it's about fucking time. Expect an all new design sometime within the next week.

And lastly, have any of you ever been to The Perry Bible Fellowship's website? Click there to read some of the most hilarious comics you couldn't possibly imagine. This guy is my own personal cheese and rice. There is one cartoon (that was too wide for me to post here without messing up my columns) where the kid is wearing a shirt that says "UNICORN POWER." I was jealous of it, so I got on eBay to find myself my own unicorn shirt. That's what this picture is. It should be shipping tomorrow and I am way, way too excited.

Hope you all had a fab weekend. Take 'er easy, and if she's easy, take 'er twice. Laaaaaaate.

OUCH, my head hurts. It's 3:30 in the am ... I woke up a couple hours ago completely disoriented and confused as to what time it was, where I was, etc. Owen was watching TV and I was sleeping on the couch and the shows he was watching kept ending up in my dreams. It took me a few minutes to realize I wasn't the general of an army throwing people from a moving vehicle. God, why do I always have such murderous dreams.

Anyway, the reason my sleep schedule is so fucked up is because I pulled an all-nighter last night to finish a project. I did a piss poor job. I'm concerned I won't pass this class. Hopefully there will be a large curve. But I was already so tired to begin with, I couldn't believe I made it through the night and into the next afternoon. It was not without the help of coffee and cigarettes. I finally got to bed around 1pm and woke up at like 6. I thought perhaps I could stay up and be normal but after Owen and I ate at Fitz's, I crashed again, hardcore. This is not good because I have an assload to do by Thursday, but once again my stupid body is requiring food and sleep. It is so annoying like that.

The schedule for the next two weeks or so: Thursday, user manuals, installation guides, trouble shooting guides etc are due as well as the technical presentation and demonstration of our greenhouse project we've been working on for the past year. Probably the biggest hurdle. Friday-Saturday, feverishly finishing final documentation for that project, studying for a final in the class that I'm concerned about passing. Monday, take that final. Monday through Wednesday, work on a program that will test parameters of an Analog to Digital Converter that Owen and I haven't started yet. That is due Wednesday at noon along with our take home final. Wednesday night -- drink lots and lots, pray that grades go through. Friday at 9am, my graduation. After that, I will move all my stuff out of my apartment back home to Dallas. May 20th my lease is up and somewhere in there, I am going to California with Allison. Very hectic. Cannot wait to be done.

So if I don't update, please don't hate me. And for those of you moving back home for the summer and stuff, don't forget to bookmark SideshoViD.com and keep in contact with me. Where ever I go and whatever I do SVC will remain a constant way to see what I've been up to. I love you all, in spite of the fact that you are all a bunch of have-nots.

This is more of a pity update than anything. I realize that I haven't been very dedicated to the SVC this week even though a lot has happened. I have much to break down for you, but for now let's just hit the highlights. First, and foremost, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LESLIE! I tried to call her today and see how she was durrin, but she didn't answer. Hope it was wonderful. Tomorrow is Allison's birthday which will have me occupied for the whole night, if not the whole day as well.

The symphony was pretty cool. They played selections from Tchaikovsky and Chopin. The piano was beautiful. I dunno though... she was called the 'Nora Jones' of classical piano. I think that was completely inaccurate. She was just a really accomplished pianist ... and was impregnito at the same time. Now that takes talent.

This weekend was all about mixing business and pleasure. We had our mid-term presentation for my senior project today. We really weren't prepared for it so I spent almost every waking hour of the weekend working on designing a couple of printed circuit boards for our project. I managed to slip out in time to get drunk both Friday and Saturday, which was a blessing. I even kept myself under control, which I got a lot of props for ... getting props for not falling down drunk ... sign #236 you are an alcoholic.

Anyway, I won't keep you in suspense. Our presentation went really well. It's over now. My head hurts. My shoulders hurt. Yet I have a beer and 27 is on his way. Things are definitely looking up. More on that ... after this.

Well, here it is, without warning ... a little something I like to call SideshoViD.com Version 8. I woke up this morning, decided I didn't want to go to work but that instead I wanted to redo my webpage, and I did just that. Its almost midnight now and I'm just finishing up. So far this layout has been met with mixed reviews, but I don't care, I like it. SVC has always been about metamorphoses and reinvention. Who wants the same old webpage version after version just in different colors? I always try to take a radical departure from each of my old layouts.

Anyway, hopefully some of you find this one at least the smallest bit amusing. Leave me some comments and let me know what you think. I'm about to go watch a movie with Allison now but she is already drunk because she graduated college today. Yay. Congrats to her. Later, have nots.

Alright, alright, alright, children. Enough with the nitpicking of each other's posts. As the Grammar Sheriff, I can only hope you Grammar Deputies will start behaving yourselves. Nobody is proofreading here (well, I don't have to, thats why I don't) so it's stupid to disect each other. Jebus, sometimes I feel like the focus of this webpage is drifting away from its original purpose: the unadulterated adoration of me. The CTRJFS.C may be inadvertantly destroying its beloved SVC. Just something to think about.

In all honesty though, that would be impossible, because I rule and I'm the master of my own domain, so to speak. If you can't tell by my demeanor, I've been spending a little bit too much time recently reading over Maddox's webpage. If you don't know who Maddox is immediately, then you suck, really hard. And you need to go his website STAT and read all of his posts. Its the best webpage in the universe. http://maddox.xmission.com/

So for the more day-to-day update. I did not go out to Northgate this Thursday because I had a hair appt early on Friday morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, say what you will, but it was the only time I could get and I did not want to be hung over for a haircut. And lord knows, I refuse to party in moderation. Anyway, my hair looks sabulous. I think I'll snap a pic of it on the webcam as soon as I take a shower and fix it cause right now it looks like that Indian chief guy from Dances with Wolves. If any of you in College Station need a good haircut and are sick of the bullshit you get from EVERY dumb whore with a pair of scissors and want, just once, for someone to understand what you want and make your hair look good like you want it ... then you have got to go to Cutler2 and ask for Hannah. If you need the phone number, hit me with an IM and I'll give it to you. She's incredible.

So since I didn't go out Thursday, and I was looking so good Friday, I decided to hit the Northgate with AllieD and Jamie. Jamie still isn't drinking because of his whole lenten thing. Hopefully it will help him get into heaven. Anyway, this weekend all of the kids got their Aggie Rings, so Northgate was insane with people dunking at the Chicken (an absolutely attrocious idea). So we get there and there is this throng of people out back. I'd estimate at least 250 people. And you know me, I can't handle crowds, so I'm like "oh shit." But being the trooper I am, I got some cash and we headed for the Library. Mmmk, we walk in and there are like 8 people in there. Wonderful! People came and went all night, but it never got crowded because all the people that were outback were dirty locals and inbred rednecks who wouldn't be allowed in the Library even if they wanted to. Oh yeah, and the power went out. That was so exciting. All of Northgate lost power. Actually, it wasn't that exciting. It was just a little darker. Luckily, we already had drinks, so we continued to sit and drink and chat unphased by the lack of light and AC. I was tempted to steal this really kickass painting off the wall and escape out the back door, but alas, my conscience won out once again.

So thats my update for now. Everything else is pretty fabulous. School's going good. I probably shouldn't post this on my website, but my ring dunking is next Saturday. Its going to be a pretty big party. I won't disclose the location tho, but if you feel like you should have been invited and weren't hit me up with an IM. Just a hint: If you weren't invited, that was probably on purpose. But its worth a shot right? Ha. Well, I gotta run, I'm meeting Joseph for lunch. Peace out, you have fucking nots!

This message is for the Committee to Remove Joseph from SideshoViD.com, which I still think is fucking hilarious. Poor Joseph. Its never fun to have an organization formed for the specific purpose of being against you. Trust me, dude, I know from experience if you know what I'm saying.

As far as actually removing Joseph, I say we give him another chance. More than likely he'll be around at least until the end of summer. If he continues to not meet your standards, continue posting comments against him. We here at SideshoViD.com love our loyal viewers.

But then again, I love myself even more and I want to make me happy. And Joseph amuses me. So as long as he continues to do so he'll probably be around.

scrofulous (SKROF-yuh-luhs) adjective
1. Of or pertaining to or affected with scrofula.
2. Morally corrupt.

Welcome dear Sidesho-Viewers to SideshoViD.com VersionSiX. I'm very excited about this one. I really think it turned out well. If you wouldn't mind, do leave a comment letting me know that you like it. One new thing is the Word of the Day. I've been getting AWAD (A Word A Day) emails every day now for like 3 years. So I thought it only made sense to share them with you. The trick is to use them 3 times in a sentence the day that you read the new word. It will then become a permanent part of your vocabulary. Isn't that sabulous?!

Well, going home was fun. I got pretty good stuff for Christmas. I got Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, a Bond playstation game, a wireless mouse, undershirts, the new Armani cologne, a gift certificate to Steve Madden, a sweatshirt, new razor heads, gift certificates to Best Buy, and if I'm forgetting any I'm sorry to the person that gave it to me. I was severely satisfied though, needless to say.

I am back in College Station now, probably for good, but there is a slight chance I'll head back to Plano once more before school starts. Not sure what the New Years plans are. Really, the only thing I wanted to do for New Years was get VersionSiX up for you all. I will be doing some heavy drinking, I know that much. Probably hanging out with anyone and everyone who's in town ... so if you're going to be here, hit me up with an IM or an email, or a comment so you can join in on the festivities. Thanks and gig this. Peace out, have nots.

Unfortunately, nothing exciting is happening at SideshoViD.com. I am still alive, however, I'm not really enjoying life much right now. I am seriously busier than I've ever been in my life. If you don't like that, you know what you can do. This page is now on hiatus until at least Wednesday of next week. Sorry, kids.

God I love Halloween. That is, like, my favorite holiday all year long. The day started off pretty sucky, but it got so much better once I mixed in some drinks. I went to class around 9 and did that whole thing. Then I had to talk to my prof about the presentation I'm going to have to give to a class next week. He said we're going to shoot for Wednesday. I really don't want to do this, but its going to change my D to a B, so its definitely worth it.

After that I had to walk to archery. We had our form test, which means we didn't even shoot. Each person took turns having the prof watch us. You had to shoot two arrows at a target that was like 5 feet away, cause he didn't care if you could aim, just your form. I got 14/15 points. He said my form was really good, but I didn't pull the bow back the same distance both times, which I'm sure is true cause I'm not very good.

Then I went to my circuit design class. That was business as usual. That gets out at 3:30 and I decided to get ahead of the game and figure out my schedule for next semester. Turns out my department has a new lady whose only job is to be an advisor. We have a real live advisor now! Like someone who actually knows what she's talking about and gives a shit. Its nice. We used to just talk to professors who had way more important things to do. Anyway, I got my sched for next semester kinda figured out. I might take chemistry at Blinn, but I don't know how to do that, so we'll see.

After that I went to the computer lab to work on my presentation a little bit, but that didn't end up happening. Instead me and my lab partner, Owen, ended up on Yahoo! games playing pool against each other. I lost twice and won once. It was really fun. Then at 5 it was up to the lab to work on our multi-channel pulse width modulator. Fun stuff, it never ended up working. Then I left to go to my car and realized I never went home so I didn't have a car. That's always a fun feeling. So I started making calls.

Keith was in Fort Worth. I swear I need to start listening to him sometimes. Then I called Allison and she was too drunk to drive ... at 9 oclock. Halloween rules. So I called Brandon and he gave me a ride home. Then he came in while I made myself some leftovers and he ended up falling asleep on my couch, and he slept there all night. Didn't bother me. So I got ready to go out and did just that. I had my neighbor Brianne paint my face with eyeshadow so I looked like really sickly. I tried to snap a pic of it, but most of it rubbed off last night. So I went and picked up Ryan and we hit Northgate.

We started out at 315, the place that used to be the Reef. Then we ran into Allison and we went to the Library. That was pretty hopping. We spent the rest of the night there. Halloween on Northgate is too much fun. Everyone's in costumes and just getting CRA-ZAY. God I can't wait for next year. So then we went to Stev-o's house. It was fun. There were drinks and I think there was some oregano going on in the back room, but I'm too innocent to know. Well I ended up passing out on the couch in blissful slumber. I was rudely awakened a while later cause I guess Stev-o's roommate came home and it was his weed everyone was smoking or something, I don't know. I was just told we had to leave 'now!' So then Justin gave me and Ryan a ride home. Thanks for that, that was cool.

Today, I might go to class, but probably not. I hate my Symphony class, its so stupid. I do need to take a quiz I missed on Monday cause I was sick tho. Ehhh, I dunno. Then I need to go to the parking garage and get my car. Its so cool that you can just leave it there overnight. Very good call on the part of College Station. They usually just do stupid shit, but this makes sense. Then I don't know what else is on the slate.

One more quick note, sorry this blog is too long. There are some very exciting things happening at SideshoViD.com. This time ... he's not alone...

Welcome back, you wayward Sidesho-Viewers. My site has returned, less technological than its ever been. So fear not, along with my site, I too have returned from the depths of anonymity. If you can't tell, a couple things have changed around here. There's a lot I still want to do, but I told myself I was going to release V5 tonight if it killed me. It still stands to be determined if it will actually kill me, since its 3:30 in the morning and I have class tomorrow. Some things are just more important, y'know? Like all of you to me.

In case you didn't gather, or I didn't tell you repeatedly, all of the words on this site have been replaced with my handwriting. You may think it was easy, but you would be wrong. I've been spending every free moment of time for the past week scanning in words, and photoshopping them so they look good online. Hehehe, 'photoshopping.' Its such bad grammar to verbify nouns. Keith can vouch for the fact that I've been hunched over my computer for hours every day. Anyway, there's still a couple of things that I want to convert to handwriting, but they're all obscure and none of you will ever notice. So for now just enjoy what you can see.

I've dispensed with the buttons, the tabs, and the navigation bars and opted to go for an 'all on one page' design. I think it is a little easier, on me at least. I'm not so sure I love the black and white of the page, but every great artist goes through a grey period, right? Sorry to all of you who used to be on the cast page, I'm sure I'm going to have some angry friends who feel they deserve their name on the one and only site dedicated entirely to myself. We'll see about getting something like that back on here soon. I'll think somethin' up, don't you worry.

The webcam is no longer 24/7 as it stands. Without its own dedicated page, its hard to make it refresh automatically every 30 seconds. So the majority of you would just see a black square, or an empty chair while you read my blog, and I surely don't want that. The pose I've left for you is my 'Dis be da shit right heeya' pose. I think its appropriate. The pics are all grey and grainy right now, but will soon pop links to bigger full color pictures. You've all seen me anyway, so you can wait on that. I've added a link to my archives, in case you ever missed a day in the past year. Now you can go back and read the old blogs. The search function is also different. It now just searches the blogs for keywords instead of my entire site. I like it better. Plus its built into my page now.

I added contact information back in. That was the one thing missing from my American Flag design. Of course, if you ever need to get ahold of me just insert 'SideshoViD' wherever you can and it'll work. I have Yahoo Messenger now too, I guess I could add that to the list. Its SideshoViD on there, of course. I took down the Sidesho-Poll for the time being because I hate that Sparklit crap I was using to host it. I'm going to learn how to host it off my own site if its the last thing I do and then the polling will commence once more. But it could very well be the last thing I do, so we'll see.

As you can tell, I'm rather excited about my new design, and the blogging is just flowing out of my fingers now. I'm totally rejuvenated after a long rest and a new layout. So if you would be so kind, please be sure to leave me a comment or two letting me know what you think of this layout. Thank you for coming back, and I hope to see you again real soon.

Well this is a bit of a momentous occasion, dear Sidesho-Viewers. Welcome one and all to my 100th blog. I didn't actually realize that this moment was upon us until I saw that the archive address for my last blog was like 0000099. Its pretty exciting. I've enjoyed writing all 100 and look forward to 100 more. I know you all can't get enough of me.

Anyway, my computer still doesn't work. I'm on Keith's computer again. I spent a good portion of my night last night on the phone with the Cox cable lady and she had all kinds of things for me to do to our modem, the router, and my computer, none of which worked. Matt said that DJ has an extra network card that he's not using, so I'm going to try that and see if it fixes my problem. Other than the computer not working, I also don't have all of my furniture, which has made putting my room together kind of hard. I need my dresser so that I can put away my clothes and start arranging everything how I want it. As of right now everything is in a bit of disarray. All the stuff isn't out of storage yet either, so the living room is a mess too. I hate moving. But I love my new place so far.

Today I got up around 2 and went to get a sports pass. I apparently forgot to put that on my fee statement, so I had to wait in a line for an hour and a half for them to turn it on. All of my friends already pulled tickets to the first game so I pulled a solo ticket and I'm going to sneak down and sit with somebody I know. Not sure who yet. After that I went and saw my advisor so he could tell me some classes I have left to take. The list is dwindling. Unfortunately most of what I have to take is in my major, which requires pre-req's that I don't have. But there's still a few classes that I need to take, so I'll take some of them whenever add/drop week comes around. After that I went to the dorm to see Burns and check out where my roommates have been spending their nights this week. I've been trying to be responsible so I've been staying home and just watching TV. Tonight I drank some really good wine. Suds got it from Olive Garden cause he works there and they were getting rid of one of their vintages, so I bought a bottle for 10 bucks. Which was a steal. It was really tasty. I actually saved most of the bottle instead of drinking it all like I usually do, so I'll be able to enjoy it for a few more days to come.

I would like to go out tonight, but I shouldn't, so I don't think I'm going to. However, if somebody reads this and has something fun planned, definitely let me know. Otherwise, I'll spend my night chatting and watching MTV, which is AOK with me. Until then...

Ugh, thank you very much to my retarded brother for getting my hit count up to 1000 'single handedly' as he put it. So now it totally skews everything. He's a real doll. I'm glad they're keeping him busy up at work.

In other news: Monday morning I had my second exam in PoliSci. I didn't study a terribly long time for it, but I think I did okay. We have two text books and the majority of the questions were from the good text, that reads like a human is writing it. I knew all of those. The other text is nothing but facts and figures and inane statistics at the end of which he goes, "So we can conclude nothing." Long story short (which is pretty worthless once I've already told the long story, sigh), I think I did well.

The best part of having a test one day is not going to class the next. So Monday night I rallied up the roommates for a par-tay or Milton Bradley proportions. Earlier in the day me and Todd went to Wal-Mart and purchased Yahtzee and Pictionary. We then invited Doug and Nicole, as well as our friend Fucking Frank to play some drunken Pictionary. Frank doesn't drink anymore and Nicole wasn't drinking that night, so it wasn't completely drunken, but it was completely fun. We played for hours. Whenever somebody won, we'd just start over. Me and Frank ended up winning, technically, since we won 2/4 games, but I'd have to say there were no losers that night. We all had a very good time.

After everyone left, me and Todd sat up playing some Drinking Yahtzee. Then I decided I was hungry so I called Clay and made him come pick me up and take me Taco Cabana. I think it was around 1am and he was working on a paper or something, but that wasn't important. What was important was my two chicken soft tacos. Damn skippy. Anyway, I didn't go to class on Tuesday (or today, shhh) because its completely worthless to go, and I just sat around all day. Did nothing spectacular.

Today I went to Texadelphia for Christine's 21st birthday ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINE!!! If you haven't got anything better to do, click there and send her a friendly birthday IM. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear from a loyal Sidesho-Viewer.

Anyway, that's all to report. Sorry for the massive amounts of paragraphs. I'm gonna go meet Justin for some coffee. Peace out, you have nots.

Big news everybody. Say it with me now all together, "SCREW YOU AOL!" HA, we don't need 'em anymore. And you know why? Cause we've got

SideshoViD@sideshovid.com

Oh yes, you read it right. We're becoming more self sufficient every day, my friends. Along with this comes the news that Hit-O-Meter, my long time counter service will be going offline in August. So now I'm gonna use my own cgi counter that will be self contained inside my webpage. I know I say it often, but this time its really true. Some very exciting things are happening at SideshoViD.com!

Whats new IRL tho. Not a whole lot. Class has become a secondary thing since I took a test on Monday. I think I may be coming down with something because I sleep far too much to be a normal person. But I haven't diagnosed myself with mono just yet. I'm still gonna give it some time to just pass on its own.

I'd like to take this opp to thank Steve for helping me test my email and sending the first ever email to SideshoViD.com. And likewise, I'd like to thank Ryan Short for being the first ever to receive an email from SideshoViD.com. (I got the incoming working way before the outgoing.) These men were a part of history today. Hopefully a long and celebratory history. I'm just a little too excited, so I think I'm gonna go update the cast page like it badly needs. Excelsior, you have nots!

Ahh, Friday went well. My speech was alright, not great, but good. My test was pretty easy. I think I knew how to do all of them but 3 and there were 35 questions. Not too bad unless I'm so clueless that I actually didn't know how to do them and I just thought I did. Then I got a box of Franzia and sat down to enjoy the evening. Half a box of wine later, boy did I. I fell asleep after the first half of the World Cup game.

Today I didn't do anything and I loved it. I woke up, and got lunch with Ryan at Jin's, which is over on Northgate next to Burger Boy. If you haven't tried it, I highly recommend. Then I sat around all day. It was wonderfully unproductive. I also decided that I hate my webpage, so I'm planning on redoing it soon. I'll keep you updated on that endeavor. If you have any suggestions of what you'd like to see post me a comment.

Well the weekend is upon us. I'm not drinking or being crazy this weekend though. Not so much because I don't have the time to do it, but I don't want to be hungover when I suddenly get my second wind and decide to study. I spent last night at home curled up with a good book.

Yes my friends, Shelters of Stone, the fifth installment in the Earth's Children series by Jean M. Auel (author of Clan of the Cave Bear) has finally arrived. I've been waiting for this book to come out since the sixth grade. I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself. I'm on Chapter 5 now and its been really good so far. The only downside is that I've read the first four books (Clan of the Cave Bear, Valley of Horses, Mammoth Hunters, Plains of Passage) each 13 times. Now this fifth book is just in its infancy. Its gonna take a while to even out the playing field. I may like it so much that I just start it right back over as soon as I finish it. Thats been known to happen. Surprised, anyone?

I had a great new idea for the new SideshoViD.com. Not that one was planned, but I had a great idea so now I'm planning one. This new one will be less red, and more me. There's some equipment and preparation I need to do first though. Unfortunately I'm not quite sure how to do it. But if anyone has a digital camera they can loan me for a while, that would help a little. Lets just put it this way: Some very exciting things are happening at SideshoViD.com. Stick around to see what they are!

Oh and vote in the new poll (bout damn time).

Thanks to everyone who has come to my new site in the past day and either left me a comment, voted 5 stars (you bastards), or IMed me to tell me about the site. Although most of you said the red was too much, the binary numbers were obnoxious and my hair looked stupid. My viewers are so damn critical, but I guess that's cause they've come to expect so much from me.

There is something new, that I'm sure I told most of you about 3 times already. The webcam section now has dualing webcams. You can stare at my sweet ass from two different angles. Let's hope Keith doesn't mind that I stole the camera from him that he's had in the box for like a month now. I'm actually sitting around waiting for him to get back in town so we can go eat. I called him at like 11 and told him to start driving home cause I wanted to go to Taco Cabana. I guess he did too cause he started on his way here. He should be here in like a half hour. He needs to hurry cause i'm about to raid that bag of Lay's. Anyway, peace out you have nots ... and keep your hands to yourselves.

Well, here it is ... SideshoViD.com version 3. I'm so excited. I am really happy with the way it turned out. Be sure to vote in the poll for how you think this page relates to SideshoViD.com's of the past. Also, the pics, bio, links and webcam are basically the same, but please check out the downloads cause i made all new buddy icons. Also, leave me a comment, that would be so awesome. Alright, you guys, its 5 oclock in the morning, I've been working on this site for like 16 hours just today. Its way past time for me to catch some shut eye. Hope you like the new site!

First, let me apologize to Joseph for not blogging recently. There have been a couple factors keeping me away from the ol' Grey Matter. First was school. I recently decided that I am behind, and consistently not getting my work done. How could this be? Time management ... or lack thereof. So I came up with a simple solution. On Mondays I get out of class at noon, and generally go to bed at midnight. That is 12 solid hours with which to accomplish all my goals.

While I did not accomplish everything on my To-Do List, I got a big chunk of it done. Tomorrow I have a Circuit Analysis Test and Thursday I have an Economics test. Neither of these should be too hard, but they will require some studying. Basically, I'm set on "GO MODE" for the rest of the week, and then probably will reset to "DRINK MODE" this weekend. We'll see, I may use the 3 days to get ahead. Hahahaha.

The second factor keeping me from the blog is SVCv3. For those of you not up to date on my lingo, that stands for SideshoViD.com version 3. Yeah, I've begun work on it. Initially, I'm pleased, but I'm probably a good 40 manhours away from releasing it, so no telling when it'll be done. I will keep you updated. PLH.

I know I said I didn't want to get cocky, but the time for being cocky has arrived. I am so certain I aced that test. I normally don't say that because then I make 50's, but I had so much time to check it over that I'm certain its 100% correct. In fact, I even told my professor, Dr. Ochoa, afterwards that I'd bet him a soda I aced it. He said if I made a 100, we'd talk. Boo yah.

On a 'side' note, you'll see the new Sidesho-Pic to the side here. There's no deeper meaning. Its just the amalgamation of my webpage and the Matrix. Its COOL. Why don't you people get it?

Hey, I'd like to welcome everybody to the newly formated SideshoViD.com. I spent all day getting my new weblogger program, GreyMatter, to work. Its all running off of my site now, no more blogger.com. First and foremost, I'd like to thank my friend, SHAN, who helped me get it all set up. Without his help, I would still be shaking my monitor getting ready to throw it out the window. I hope you all like the new look. I wanted the blog a little skinnier so I moved it over here and then threw the SideshoPic and SideshoPoll off to the side. Part of me thinks its nicer, part of me isn't quite sure. One thing is for sure, some very exciting things are happening at SideshoViD.com. I don't really feel like I'm finished with this blogger, but I was too excited to wait any longer before unveiling it. Also, the rest of the pages are in the same format, not this forced width, so they'll be changing slowly I'm sure. It's a very exciting time. The most exciting thing of those being COMMENTS! If you look below it will tell you how many comments have been posted about this particular blog. If you have something to say, either to me, or to another Sidesho-Viewer, simply click down below, and put your comment into the white boxes. Its very exciting stuff. I hope to see lots of great comments. Peace and love, you have nots!

This is only a test. Had this been an actual blog, you would have received instructions for what to do next.

Well, I did it. I mastered CGI. Well, not really, but as much as I ever cared to do. I must, first and foremost, thank my friend SHAN because he's really the one who helped me do it. If you care to leave a comment, feel free.