The sixth installment of Febrehab has come and gone. And while this was one of the easiest transitions yet, it was probably one of the most successful. The side challenge this year was to visit at least one uniquely Dallas/cultural establishment each weekend. And we chose the Dallas Museum of Art, The Dallas Aquarium, The Nasher Sculpture Museum, and The Sixth Floor Museum.

DMA was good. I think I addressed that in an earlier blog. The aquarium was fun because my sister was in town and she came down on the train with my parents and we all met up. It was neat, but I think I'm really glad I had little kids with me, otherwise I would have blown through that joint in 20 minutes. But they made it more interesting. It's a little confusing the ratio of underwater to terrestrial exhibits they have. So many birds and monkeys and snakes and bunny rabbits? What the hell kind of aquarium has bunny rabbits? But whatever.

The Nasher Museum was pretty cool. Lots of neato statues. But for 10 bucks, it really only took us about 30 minutes to go through that so I'm not sure if it alone was worth it. If you're gonna go I would suggest having lunch out on the patio and maybe a glass of wine and lingering for a while to make your dollar go a little further. Now for us, the thing that made it worth the money was running into Miranda Hobbes while we were there. She was just walking around with her mannish lesbian lover and a couple of friends looking at the artwork. Nobody was bothering her, so far be it from us to be the only two stargazers. After our initial giggling and hitting each other, we basically left her alone. But then lo and behold about 10 minutes later we were in this huge empty installation minding our own business and she walked in all by herself. So it was me, Daniel, and Miranda standing there looking at these sculptures on the wall. So finally I turned to her and said, "YOU are Cynthia Nixon." And she smiled and said, "I am." And I said, "We're really big fans." And she said, "Thanks." And then I nonchalantly turned back to Daniel and pretended to continue a conversation we'd been having about the sculptures. It was too fun.

I can't believe I've never been to the Sixth Floor Museum -- which is the sixth floor of the Texas School Book Depository that Lee Harvey Oswald allegedly shot Kennedy from. As much as I love History Channel shows about it, I've just never gotten off my fat butt to walk over there. It was pretty cool. I have to say, they always describe it as such an impossible shot from an impossible distance, but when I was sitting up there, looking out the window at the road directly below, it did not seem far to me at all. So that pretty much sealed the deal for me and I'm now convinced it was Oswald.

And that was February. Totally fun. This weekend we went to the Convention Center for the Dallas Auto Show and to try out for Wheel of Fortune. It's a life long goal of mine to be on the show, but it turns out, I'm not the only one with that dream. There were thousands of people trying out. It felt a lot like American Idol. There was a raffle system to see who even got to go up on stage to play a fake game. And they called about 40 people during the hour long slot that we got into, and I wasn't one of them. So boo. But I tried and it was totally fun sitting there thinking your name might be called next. So I counted that as a victory. Then I got to see a Chevy Volt and sit in a Smart car, and see Allison who was working the Mini booth. So also a pretty good day. I wouldn't be disappointed if this do-something-every-weekend continued all year round. Huzzah.

Any suggestions for next weekend?

I do hope that 2009 has found you well. I've certainly had a helluva start. My two week long vacation is ending tomorrow and I just don't know how I am going to cope with it. I've had a good couple of weeks though.

First, my entire family came into town. I currently have 5 nieces and 2 nephews, and was just informed that there's another on the way! It was really fun to play with all of them and give them crappy gifts that they loved. Although, I will admit that the Hannah Montana electric guitar I got for my niece Kelsey was pretty rocking, even though it's already broken. So we did the whole xristmas thing and I spent more than a few nights driving between Addison and Allen to my parents new ridiculously large house. I got wine from my brother in the gift exchange and now the wine fridge is respectably stocked. And I got the new Nikon Coolpix camera from my parents. I highly recommend this little gadget. It is so freaking advanced. I guess when you only buy one camera every decade, they're bound to improve slightly.

The other reason everyone came was for my parents surprise 35th wedding anniversary. We'd been planning it for like a year (I helped a little) and had some extended family and a lot of old family friends hiding in the banquet room at Sneaky Pete's in Lewisville. Then when my parents came in with my sister for what they thought was an oddly dressy, far drive to Lake Lewisville just for dinner, everyone yelled HAPPY ANNIVERSARY and the merriment proceeded. DJ iMernex even DJed the party which was pretty fun. There was "free" beer and wine so I think everyone managed to have a good time and I know my parents really appreciated it. And I got the buffet leftovers so Daniel and I ate chicken and roast beef for a week.

Then we did xristmas with Daniel's family over at our apartment. His mom made filet mignon wrapped in puff pastry with some sort of filling. It was really good. We were in charge of vegetables so we served leftover green beens and potato wedges from the anniversary party. Waste not. Then we did a little gift exchange. His dad gave me a really cool shirt and a fedora that I adore. I think his sister helped pick it out, but it's pretty bangin. And I gave his brother guitar picks, guitar strings, and a guitar strap. And he was perfectly gracious even though I thought he might be like, "I don't have a guitar, you dick." But then I surprised him with the guitar I had wrapped up in the other room. It wasn't easy getting all that on the budget that was set but I managed to do it. g*d, I love pawn shops now.

Then there was New Year's Eve. We had a bunch of people over. There was a lot of food, dancing, tons of booze. We really had a good time. Gotta tell you though, it's that time of the year when Febrehabruarv starts sounding really good to me. I was thinking that maybe I wanted to do that master cleanse again, but then I read my blog from last year and decided against it. All the descriptions of sleepless nights, heart palpitations, and incessant heartburn jogged some memories I'd obviously repressed. Maybe in another year. I think I'll hearken back to the febrehabs of yesteryear when it was easy and fun, good clean living.

I think that brings us up to speed. Happy 2009, bitches. See you around..

If you haven't ever seen Dave Chapelle's Block Party, I suggest you go rent it immediately and bask in it. Just bask. I rented it last night when Blockbuster didn't have Stangers with Candy (so lame). So now I'm sitting home alone with a bottle of Patrón chilling in the freezer thoroughly enjoying myself. I got dressed up for no reason, fried some dinner in butter and life is good.

I remember the first time I saw Block Party. It was when the ever lovely Miss Lesbie Ann Bizzell was in my hizzell and we wanted a drizzell in the mornizzle, like you do. After drinking breakfast at the Gecko we went to Studio Movie Grill and laughed our asses off at this movie in between martinays. Loves it.

On Monday I have to get up at 4am. I have a 6am flight to Manassas, VA. Well, there's no airport in Manassas, obviously, but it is right near Washingtown, DC. I have to be there for a week with work. I would be lying if I didn't say I was looking forward to it. I've gotten in a rut lately, if you haven't noticed. I hardly ever leave my apartment. I never go anywhere or do anything. That is one downfall to dating. You just get comfortable and stop trying to look around for fun things to do. So now I'm going to Manassas. If I weren't dating Daniel then I'd say I looked forward to getting some asses in Manassas, but it's just a tag line now.

I got my sister's name in our annual xmas gift exchange. She's a 30-something news anchor, soon-to-be-mother of two with a brand new house. Give me gift ideas. I am not having any ideas pop into my head.

Like I said, not too many hilarious stories to tell from the couch unless you want me to recount my favorite episodes of Family Guy.... No? Then FUCK YOU. I'm out. Peace.

I'm really diggin' this ClustrMaps thing I have going on. I want to thank Joseph for emailing me about it. Looks like the Sidesho is a lot more popular on the east coast than the west. Should I mold my brand of humor to benefit my already strong demographic? You know, make jokes about the Atlantic ocean n stuff. Or maybe I should be focusing on trying to bring up the readership in states I don't already have an uncompromising strong-hold on. Perhaps I'll start with Utah. Haha, fucking Mormons. They're all insane, did you know that? It's like the perfect blend of xristianity and Scientology. They think jebus will fly them a spaceship and drop their asses off on their own planet where they'll be free to engage in secret handshakes and secret tacky underwear without being under the watchful eye of rational people. joey smith bless 'em, they're all fucking mad!

Well that was tangential. My hungover posts tend to be a bit more random than the sober ones. My brother's wife's brother was supposed to come get my old couch, oh, 6 weeks ago. I was going to donate it but as a personal favor to him, I held onto it. It's totally cluttering my apartment. He couldn't find a truck so I gave him 3 weeks to do so, after which my brother's wife had to go to the hospital for a bit and her brother went to Houston to help out. So then I felt bad and had to give him an extension on picking it up. But that was like 3 weeks ago, so I've had this shit for a WHILE. On Thursday, the Salvation Army is coming by to get it. I can't wait to get my entryway back.

Went out on the yacht again on Thursday. I left work early and met the troops. They pulled into port to pick me up and were just gonna swing by the dock, I'd make a running leap onto the boat and we'd speed out of there. No need to park or any of that nonsense. So they pulled up, I jumped on and we sped off ... right into a sandbar. Luckily the lake was deserted, because we were fucking stuck. It was pretty funny but we couldn't laugh because Alexander was getting pissed. After about 20 minutes of revving the engines in reverse and kicking up a ton of dirt in the water, we finally got out on the lake. They had blown up a little 3-seater raft and were dragging it behind the boat. I rode it for a while. It was hella fun but I'm not much of a thrill seeker so I got back on the boat and let Kelly take my place. Next time we do that, I'm gonna go ahead and suggest we all have life vests on. As much as I'd hate a life vest tan, Jordan almost died. We hit this huge wave, Daniel threw up, and Jordan went limp, airborn, and under. It was scary and funny. He said he didn't remember falling out and woke up in the lake. Luckily he was okay. Not too much else happened -- oh, except that I can officially say I've been skinny dipping in Lake Lewisville. No details!

So I haven't worked out in like a month. Don't know why, I'm just lazy and can't get back into it. I was really concerned when I went the other day (isolated incident) that I would have gained back all that weight I worked so hard to lose. But I weighed myself ... and I lost three more pounds!!!1! Do you believe that shit? This "eating right" malarky must really work. g*d, I eat so much more than I used to. I usually have at least 6 meals a day and they're all packed with nutritional goodness. That makes a grand total of 21 pounds lost from the time I started eating right. I don't think you could have looked at me a few months ago and said "hey fatty mcfatfatfat fuckfat, lose some weight." Like I don't think I looked that fat, but fuck me, I look good now. I don't even think I weighed this little when I graduated college. Rawk.

Let's see, let's see, what else can I brag about. Oh! I think I might be an amazing cook. The other day I was in the grocery store and randomly decided to cook dinner for Daniel. I think all he ever eats is fast food junk food, and he's been having problems with his stomach so I thought a home cooked meal would be good for him. I roasted a g*ddamned chicken! Do you believe that shit? I like stuffed it with onions and celery and put a dry rub on it of salt, pepper, all spice, and cinnamon. And I baked it for 2 hours, and basted it every 20 minutes. It was so insane. I'm a masterbaster. It came out like perfect. Its the best chicken I've ever had. And on top of that, the whole bird was 6 dollars, and I got two very large dinner portions and a whole heaping plate of leftovers. I'm going to roast a bird once a week from now on. If we'd stop going out for oysters and wood fired lobster maybe I'd actually get a chance to eat some of my chicken delight.

I think that should be enough for now. I'm heading to my parents' house to watch World Cup Soccer with my brother Michael. He is in from California. His daughter Kelsey is THE cutest thing on Earth (perfectly tied with Kaylyn and Ann Marie). Then I get to have dinner with Miss Allison "Google" Hoffmann. What a great day. Oh and my sister called. She is having a boy! Two nephews coming soon! Later skillets.

I know you were all expecting an immediate reaction to my Thanksgiving, since it is my favorite holy day of the year, so I apologize for keeping you in suspense. In all honesty, it wasn't wild and or crazy, just nice. I drove up to OKC to see my sister. Her daughter is about 8 months old now. It's totally an age you don't want to miss out on, but, c'mon ... babies don't do much. She can't talk yet, she can't walk yet, so while I wouldn't trade seeing her for anything, it was pretty low key.

Our turkey was pretty good. I don't know that it was 140 dollars good, but it was scrumptious. The best part of the Heritage Turkey is that it comes with a barcode. When you enter that barcode at their website, it brings up your turkey's personal history. Our hen was born in March of 2005 and raised on a farm in Kansas. She liked roosting in tall trees. It was kind of morbid, so we gave her a eugoogaly before we tore into her roasted butter basted carcass. Thanks be given. We shared the meal with my niece's other grandparents, the baptits preacher. The baptits preacher doesn't drink or dance or believe anyone but him is getting into the pearly gates. Well since there was a baptits at the table (you guys have noticed I'm spelling it 'baptits' on purpose by now right? good) that meant that I couldn't drink either. So annoying.

As soon as he left we busted out the beer and scotch and played poker and me and my dad robbed my brother-in-law blind. It was too funny. Unfortunately though, the next day my sister was feeling sick. Her daughter was already under the weather and kind of cranky (which is not her usual demeanor). So my parents and I opted to leave a bit earlier than planned and drop off at Winstar for some gambalaya. I didn't win anything but I did lose the 20 bucks I'd won from poker, so I came out even. That's pretty good for me since I have a gambling problem ... my problem is that I suck at it.

Thanksgiving plans? I'm going to host one in December when Owen is in town. It will be held at the Hamptons by my gracious host Miles. Not only will there be booze there, but I imagine it will be at least 8 of the 9 side dishes. Bourbon soup, here we come. Look forward to your invitation to that, even though most of you won't receive one.

Lastly, I am done with sleep medicine. No more CPAPs, no more machines, no more masks, no more pills, no more studies, no more labs, no more brain waves, no more oxygen monitors, no more REM, NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE. I went to the doctor today, returned everything they'd given me, shook their hands and left. Best of all? No more payments. I just need to work on getting back to where I was 7 months ago before I started all of this nonsense. I was tired, but I was functioning. That's the combo I'm trying to get back to. If it turns out that I can't do it on my own, I will accept the advice of the doctor and return for an unlimitedly refilled subscription to Provigil, but I'm hoping it won't come to that.

Miles bought me a prescription to Details! UH! Thanks Miles!

I just got my Addison! newsletter in the mail. I really have not been utilizing all that this city! has to offer. Honestly, I just keep eating at the same restaurants! over and over again when there are literally hundreds I have not tried. There's the Water Tower Theater! a stones throw from my apartment and I have yet to see a show. Speaking of theater! they are playing The Santaland Diaries! by David Sedaris! December 7th through the 23rd. Tickets! are $17-30, anybody want to go?

I also hear a lot about this Addison! Gym. Apparently, if you can prove that you live in Addison! (which shouldn't be hard to do since ... I do), there is a one time fee of $10 for a lifetime membership. I was confused as to how this could possibly be profitable for them. But I found out that I already pay for the gym. It's like part of my taxes. I suppose since we don't have schools or anything lame like that, we can afford to allot money to the Recreation Department. So I need to go check that out and see if it's as nice as Lifetime. I pay for my gym, but my company reimburses me the majority of it as part of the employee wellness program, so I guess I could always have two gym memberships. It's just a matter of getting off my lazy ass and signing up.

AllieD's friend Jennifer IMed me today and informed me that Target has outlawed Xmas. In addition, they have started selling bargain-brand vibrators at all of their stores. This is unsubstantiated information from an unknown source, but I'm definitely going to have to research this. Anyone with any information, please let me know.

I've decided in 2006 to repeat my February experiment. I'm sure you'll all recall it from this year. In 2006, though, it will (of course) be called Febrehabruarii. Like you didn't see that coming. I'm thinking that this year will be even more intense than last year. No booze, no cigarettes, no caffeine, no staying up late, no skipping even one workout, no ground beef or fatty food, no spending money frivolously. Come March, I am going to be really, really, ridiculously good looking (and out of debt). Mark my words. Anyone want to take up the Febrehabruarii experiment with me?

I might be getting a new washer and dryer today. I'm buying Miles' old ones from him because mine squeak and it is annoying. Lil Jarrod randomly called me today and we went to lunch with Daniel at J's, yum, and he said he wanted a washer and dryer, so I'm giving mine to him. Does anyone have a truck that we could use? You'd have to drive from Addison! to Den-ton¿ but I'm sure we could find some way to make it worth your while. I don't know how fun it will be to have an extra bed and an extra W/D set all chillin in my living room. I mean I know I'm white trash, but srsly.

I'm going to OKC for Thanksgiving to eat my 140 dollar Heritage turkey with my parents, sister & fam, so I'll be out Wednesday through Saturday. I got another coupon from my company for a free Butterball turkey, though, so I think I'm gonna throw my own Thanksgiving party later. Probably mid-December when Owen is in town. Miles offered to let me throw it over at the Hamptons (his new house -- in the Hamptons of Addison!). So that should be fun. I'll be sure to keep you all posted on that.

This next week is going to suck, especially with this attitude, but it will be a short one so I'm sure I can survive. It's gonna be a big push to remain employed through the end of the year but I'm sure I can do it. And, I think that's all I had to say. Funny, when I sat down, I thought I had nothing to talk about. Carpe diem, friends! HA! HA!

This has turned into the weekend from hell. They pulled what they glibly described as "the ol' bait and switch." My "3 day all expenses paid weekend in New York City" has turned into "working 18 hours a day in Queens while commuting from South Jersey all over Labor Day weekend." I'd have to say I rarely if ever get this pissed. It has just been a disaster. My boss and boss's boss and boss's boss's boss aren't happy about how things went down either, so without divulging anything that would get me dooced, they've promised to make it up to me. And I know they will. And while I'm here I'm working hard. I've just never been so slighted before.

It's all thankless too, that's the best part. So just in case any of you were jealous, which I know some of you were, because quite honestly, I'm awesome, this is one of those times when you can lean your lawn chair way back as you bask in the simplicity of your own living room. I'm having no fun at all.

So I won't even get to see New York City, besides what I see from the highways as I traverse my way from Jersey to NYC through toll roads, turn pikes, and bridges. The bridges here have tolls as high as 9 dollars. Insanity. I am making my way pretty well though. Today I was chatting with my sister on the drive home and took a wrong split in the highway and ended up in Williamsburg. With my limited knowledge of the city I was able to make it back to Queens and then start my trip over again. I kinda love the city itself. It's rather sexy. I just wish I could enjoy it.

Enough complaining though. I was supposed to come home the 16th and I just changed my flight to the 9th. They can eat me if they don't like it. I informed my boss that I was coming home early and he encouraged me to do so. It's so nice to have management that really and truly backs you up and is understanding and respectful. That's what's lacking here.

No NYC for me, but yay I'm coming home. I can't wait to be home. In two weeks I go back to the sleep clinic to get my Constant Positive Air Pressure (CPAP) machine calibrated. Another night in the sleep lab, ugh! The last one wasn't as bad as I thought. You know how I said I didn't sleep at all? Well I did. I slept for six and a half hours. I just didn't realize it because I rarely made it out of the first stage of sleep. I only hit REM for 20 minutes, so I basically have been getting about 20 minutes of sleep a night for the past decade. It's nice to know I'm not crazy.

The apnea though. Lordy, lordy! A normal 24 year old probably wakes up during the course of the night about 5 times for any range of reasons. I, on the other hand, again, because I'm awesome, wake up 70 fucking times an HOUR!1!! They classify that as "severe." No shit. And every time I wake up it is because I've stopped breathing. So I stop breathing 70 times per hour. I'll spare you the hassle of pulling up your desktop calculator -- That's roughly every 51 seconds. Not exactly conducive to sleep. But this CPAP stops that from happening, meaning I could hit REM for 8 hours in one night. Holy shit, can you imagine what a difference that would make in my life?!

A few people have separately expressed the same concern. What if my personality changes on account of this? Think about it. How much more easy going are you after you've just pulled an all-nighter? Just kinda lazily making through the day. Miles even commented that when he's really tired he gets loopy and funny. I'm like that all the time. What if when I'm well rested I'm a really serious asshole? Hard to imagine, I know, I know.

Anyway, I gotta go piss and moan a little more to my parents, I just wanted you all to know that I'm miserable, so you could at least feel a little better about your own Labor Day weekend. An ULDE:IYDKYDG this is not. THIS time when I get back I'm not going nowhere, no how. So all those parties I've promised you all, we're gonna have. Unfortunately medical costs have bankrupted me, but I still have enough $$$ to get bombed. So this weekend, Ryan Short specifically, it's on!

This past weekend, I was in beautiful Oshkosh, Wisconsin for the Fisher Family Reunion. We had matching T-shirts and everything. I was there from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon. Rather than say anything negative about my own flesh and blood, I'd like to recount some of the highlights of my weekend.

By far the best part of it was my immediate family all getting together. It was the first time that all 11 of us had been together (the 11 being comprised of the 6 in my original family, 3 spouses, and two nieces). The big news of the weekend? Pretty soon it'll be 12. My brother Michael told us all that his wife, Krouton, is pregnant. This'll be their first baby and my third niecephew. So exciting.

My two existing nieces could not be any cuter. Ann Marie finally let me hold her for any period of time without screaming bloody murder. We got to hang out quite a bit. Kaylyn is absolutely hilarious. She's to the age where she's almost walking and almost talking. She really likes kitties and puppies. I think for her birthday in July, I'll get her 3 of each. And a drumset.

The reunion was alright. I didn't remember everybody's names, which was a tad embarassing. But I got to see my grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and the newest generation of great-grand children. There were some interesting characters that have managed to marry their way into my lineage. The best part was ... all blonde hair, all blue eyes. It's like the Children of the Corn.

And I'm still single, so if you wanna get in on this, I'm your last chance. HA!

My new niece could not have been cuter. She is so, so tiny. She has a full head of hair that is probably the softest thing I have ever felt. I got her a green outfit for her birthday because I didn't want her to get pinched next Thursday. She's just a baby, for g*d's sake. It's not nice to pinch babies. She's too young for beer, but maybe my sis will be festive and feed her green breast milk.

That was gross, sorry. Not much else of note going on over here. I'm counting the days until Sweden just trying not to get fired before then. Tomorrow is the day Home and Garden will call me and let me know that I've won this years 3.5 million dollar dream home in Tyler, TX, along with the new Chevy Denali (sp?) and the $250,000 in cash. I can't wait to move in. I mean I entered like 10 times, so I'm a total shoo-in.

This'll be like the time I won an enormous stuffed animal from the dentist named Kiki. One time, I said to my brother, "Let's play beat the Kiki! I get the stick!" and took one swing at the enormous koala bear with the dowel rod we used to protect us from someone opening our bedroom window. One swing and the eye broke in half and rolled away. I was so upset. I didn't hit a baseball in 4 seasons, but I can crack an eyeball with a dowel rod in one try.

Why is it that tomorrow is spelled t-o-m-o-r-r-o-w but I abbreviate it as "tomm?"

I think I've decided to get a tattoo. Which I probably shouldn't tell you all because my brother will read and tell my mother and she will go absolutely ape-shit. But as of yet, I don't know what I want or where. So I'll entertain your suggestions, as long as your suggestions entertain me.

Thanks for all the great comments on my new layout, bitches! *makes masturbatorial motion*

I am twice the uncle I was yesterday morning. My second niece, Ann Marie, was born yesterday evening around 5:30pm. Maybe I should call her my "youngest" niece instead of my "second" niece. I really don't want to set up a hierarchy until they are old enough to do gymastics and spelling bees and such.

This is my sister's first baby. From what I hear all are doing well, and she is happy and healthy with 10 fingers, 10 toes, and a full head of black hair.

Black hair?! That's right. This kid is not a Fisher. I am leaving bright and early tomorrow morning to go meet Ann Marie. Living equadistant from your two child-having siblings has its advantages. I need to go down and see my brother and Kaylyn (and Rachel) soon. Maybe I'll do that just as soon as I get back from Sweden.

So that means no craziness for me tonight. It gives me a convenient excuse to stay home and work on my new layout, which I would have done anyway, but now people won't judge me as harshly. I'm hoping to finish it tonight, but there's a chance I won't. Then I'll be in OKC all day tomorrow possibly returning tomorrow night to attend a very 1Miles birthday celebration. We'll see how it pans out. Hope you kids have a good weekend!

I hope everyone had a vurry murry Xmas. I know I did ... and I don't even believe in jebus! My preggers sister and her hubby and my brother, his wife and baby daughter all came to town. My other brother in California couldn't make it this year. It was a blast opening presents, especially watching Kaylyn open hers. I got some pretty good booty, and since everyone else is doing booty posts right now, I wanted my own booty post. (I think it's stupid to call it booty.)

I wanted to make it easy for you all to skim and see what I got so I made this kickass picture of my stuff. What you see here is:

1. trashcan for my bathroom
2. proper wine opener
3. silly bottles of peppers for my kitchen
4. wine from the Sierra Foothills
5. three sizes of cookie sheets and a pizza sheet
6. space heater WITH remote control ha!
7. little wooden rubber band powered airplane?

All that and a bag of chips. And by "bag of chips" I mean a "fat check from my parents that will pay for half of a plane ticket to Australia and cements the fact that I am really going." So exciting. The greatest gift was my family going to church without hassling me, guilt tripping me, or even inviting me. I was overwhelmed by that gesture.

I'm not sure what's on the slate for New Years but I'm pretty sure I am going to run around Dallas with Ryan Short. If anybody would like to join hit me up before then. Ugh, I have to work this week. That's going to suck. Czech you sluts later.

I have about a thousand things I want to talk about, we'll see how many of them stick in my memory by the time I really get into blogging mode. First off, I spent the weekend chillin in the OC ... the OKC, that is. I actually had a good time. On Saturday and Sunday, my impregnito sister and I painted her nursery. Pink on the walls, green on the ceiling. It was so, so cute. Now I'm rarin' to paint my apartment. Who wants to help? Prior to this, on Friday night, we went bowling.

I was bowling in Oklahoma on a Friday night.

It ended up being really fun though. My sister's husband made the comment, "There's no way I'm going to lose to my pregnant wife and a gay guy." So I annihilated him. He didn't know that I spent the better part of high school bowling obsessively, and then transferred that hobby to college with Kevin. By the end of the night, he had admitted defeat and encouraged me to join a gay bowling league, because I would be "the man" there. I'm not sure what the difference is between a gay bowling league and a bowling league. I guess we would use pink balls?

Speaking of Kevin, he's not going to be able to join me in College Station this weekend. What a fucking bummer. I was so stoked. I mean, I still am because I get to see Burns take longer than 65 seconds to chug a pitcher of beer and get shitcanned with the whole crew, but still... everyone knew I was just going to see Kevin. I'm actually going to drive down on Saturday morning, and give Allison a ride back.

Speaking of Allison, we are planning a Thanksgiving to end all Thanksgivings. The date we decided on is December 11th. The location: Allison's house in College Station. I am planning a detailed blog about it, but had too much to say to devote this entry to that. Look for details in the future, but for g*d's sake clear your fucking calendars. This is going to the put the last one to shame!

And finally, my new hobby is listening to NPR (National Public Radio). I feel like I'm already smarter for doing this. Many thanks to my brother who originally suggested it to me when I told him how annoyed I was with radio DJs and commercials. Today they were talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger possibly running for president. Of course, he's not a natural born citizen, so the constitution would have to be amended. We all know Bush has no problem amending it. They made a good argument that someone who has been in the country for 20+ years, obtained citizenship, understands the political system, and has obtained public office should be allowed to run for president. And Arnold was talking about how everything is more global these days so it makes sense. And I agree. Hell, at least he speaks two languages ... Bush doesn't even speak one.

Even though Arnie is a Republickin, he is not conservative on issues that educated people aren't conservative on -- stem cell research, gay marriage, abortion, to name a few. Conservative X-tian Republickins would fuckin hate him. But maybe there's enough political momentum behind the Republickins to get him in the White House. To me, this would present a win/win situation in 4 years. Either someone that agrees with me on issues I find important would be elected, or the Democratic party would win, and maybe even put Hillary in the White House, which would rawk. People who argue against this amendment say that the Constitution shouldn't be viewed as a totally maleable document, and certainly should never be amended with a certain individual in mind. One guy said go ahead and make the amendment but say that it doesn't take effect for 20 years. He makes a good point. Just thought I'd give my readers something to discuss at their next cocktail party.

Items of interest, just to recap: OKC was fun, I kick ass at bowling, I need help painting my apartment, College Station this Saturday, Thanksgiving December 11, listen to NPR and tell me what you think about the President-inator (lame). Peace out, sluts!

Way to go, "Amer-ca," you really did it this time. My first go at American democracy has been met with sweeping defeat ... Bush was elected for the first time to serve his second term, and the Republickins have increased their influence in both the House and the Senate. So far, in the first two days of Bushito's second term, nothing of note has changed. Maybe it's because Jorge is on vacation at Camp David (big shocker there). I think if this trend of nothing changing or happening continues, that would be the best case scenario for the next four years. Any changes that Bush makes -- fiscal, political, legal, constitutional, moral, environmental, global, you-name-it-al, will certainly be a major step backward that will take time in the future to correct.

I think it's shrewd of him to reach out to Kerry supporters and call for a newfound unity in the country. Just about as shrewd as it was to couple votes on banning gay marriage to call out the evangelical voters in important state. Oh, that reminds me... to those voters who elected to ban gay marriage in those 11 states: Fuck you too!

Okay, after this picture, I'm done making commentary. I had an away message today that said something to the effect of, "What do you think? Canada or Australia?" It was by far the most responded to away message I've ever had. Looks like a lot of us are joining the hypothetical exodus. Keith gave the best arguments for Australia including cold Canadian weathers, fat Canadians, hot Australians, tanning, and American booze and cigarettes. True, we can get American booze and cigarettes in America, but we can also get them in Australia. I'm convinced! Edward sent me a link to this picture. I went ahead and linked back to the website where I stole it from just to be nice. Not that all of you wouldn't immediately recognize that I didn't make it since jebus is capitalized.

Tomorrow I'm going to the most worthless state in the union: Oklahoma! My sister is all impregnito and wants me to visit her. I've been promising for a long time that I would so I finally have to make good on it. I have to take my mom's car too so I can pick up a treadmill for my parents. I really don't like driving any car other than my own, especially on road trips, so I resisted the idea. My mom said, "Why? Because you can't smoke in my car?" and my response was, "Fuck, I didn't even think of that. Fuck." It should be a fun time though, my sister is pretty cool. Then next weekend its off to College Station to see Burns and Lauren dunk their rings. Plus, Kevin will be there! Yay! Later sluts, now go sit in the corner and think about what you've done ... for the next four years.

Welcome, loyal Sidesho-Viewers ... and a happy Turkey Day to all of you. I hope you're all enjoying your Thanksgiving break, and I do hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving meal tomorrow. I am back in Plano right now chillin at the ol' casa de la Rentas. Today I woke up and went into lab for a while. I talked to my professor about the grade I made on the last test. If you want to know what it was, IM me and I'll tell you, since I don't want anyone in my class reading this and knowing what I made. We worked on our pcboard for the thermometer for a while. And then I ate and packed and got in the car with Allison to make the trek back to Plano. We actually made pretty good time thanks to a daring (albeit illegal) off-road maneuver by Allison to avert about an hours worth of traffic thru Corsicana. It was good stuff.

I went out to eat with my parents at Mac's Grill, which we all assumed was like a burger joint. But in reality it was this fancy-schmancy restaurant where I ordered one of the best filet mignon's I've ever had. Then I went to the mall with Colleen for a little bit, and then to Starbucks. Then I rushed home because my sister was supposed to be reporting live on the Dallas NBC news about a plane crash in Oklahoma, but they never cut to her, so I'm not sure what the deal is with that.

In other news, THE COMMENTS ARE FIXED ... SO LEAVE ONE. Thanks, and again, happy holidays.