Our annual 3rd of July KaboomTown extravaganza, this year called Shish-Ka-Boom, was a huge success. I got off work pretty early and hit the grocery store on the way home. I picked up some beef shish-ka-bobs that were already skewered with vegetables. So much easier than trying to figure out the process on my own. And as an added bonus, the bargain expired meat bin is never without a few shish-ka-bobs, so a couple packages of them were half off -- just because they'd turned grey!

Then for dessert, I bought a huge thing of strawberries and a Sara Lee pound cake. I cut the strawberries in half and cut the cake into little cubes. Then I put them on bamboo skewers. I whipped some fresh cream with sugar and vanilla. And made a chocolate ganache out of Giardelli chocolate chips, two shots of real espresso, a teaspoon and a half of vanilla, and a little bit of fresh cream. I sprinkled the plate of dessert shish-ka-booms with a few random blueberries just so it would be red, white and blue. It was so delicious. I really think Ina might have approved of this spread.

Then we all watched the spectacular fireworks and got drunk. Not a single fight this year! So proud of all of our friends. Now tonight its time to switch modes to birthday celebration. My birthday is tomorrow so I arranged a little get together at a bar here in Addison. I purposely didn't put and RSVP thing on it because I'd rather just go out there with Daniel and drink a few beers and see who shows up. I didn't want to get a bunch of positive RSVPs and then be left at the bar alone crying. Set the bar low and be pleasantly surprised if it rocks. That's my new mantra.

So anyway, if you want to come, give me a ring and I'll disclose the secret location.

After 3+ years of all talk, I am finally going to do it. I just booked my non-refundable 22 hour trip to the land of Oz. On August 14th, I will lift off from Dallas ... and on August 16th touch down in Sydney, Australia. I wonder what TV is like on the other side of the planet. I can't WAIT to find out. Do you think they have DVR? Do you think they call it DVR? Do you think it records backwards?! This is going to be so fun. Oh and I might hit up a wine tasting or a zoo or an opera house while I'm in the neighborhood. But best of all, I get to see my lovely friend, the Allistralian on her home turf. I will be gone for two weeks returning on August 27th. Best part of the flight home is I touch down almost before I take off. I will bring news from the future.

After booking my ticket, I was kind of on a roll. Like you do. So I went and ordered my KitchenAid copper stand mixer for my birthday. Really it's a birthday present from Daniel, but we used my credit card to get it. It's going to take a week to get here, but I really excited about it. I'm going to whip cream to stiff peaks.

Man, I'm more excited right now than Evan on American Gladiators. Rocket is the best Gladiator. And he's my friend on Facebook. I love TV.

We just went to listen to Salsa in the park here in our neighborhood. Turns out I really don't like salsa music. I had fun last week but the band was much better. Oh and I was waaha-hay-hay-hay-sted. So it was sounding good. Tonight I exited early. I basically woke up in time to go listen and it's hot and the band was terrible and I wanted I wanted to sit on the TV and watch beers. So I came home.

Oh, last bit of news. KaboomTown is next week. Everyone's invited. This year we will serve various skewered meats and vegetables. As well as skewered pound cake and strawberries to dip in chocolate. I call it ... Shish-Ka-Boom. You should come. And then the 6th is my birthday again. But this year it falls on a Sunday, so on Saturday July 5th, I am having a little gathering at a bar here in Addison! if you would like to join me. That would be awesome. Czech you all on the flip side.

Fourth of July was good. Had a few people over, drank some beers. Birthday was good. Had a few people over, drank some beers. My brother, Stephen, even dropped in for a little bit, which was a special surprise ... kind of ... I mean, it was really special, but only kind of a surprise. Taking a week off was a really good idea. I wish I could do it again, but alas, I need mo money.

I'm taking this opportunity to update because I wore out 3 of the DeWalt batteries on my handheld drill. I've been a busy little boy this evening. Every time I make progress on the bar, I go into work and discuss it with my coworker/coach. He's the one that lent me all the power tools. He was disappointed that I'd gone through the whole weekend without making any progress. His only rule is that I make progress every week. So I couldn't let him down. I went and spent another 60 bucks at Home Depot and brought home some 1x6s, some 2x4s, and some drawer mounts. I am now the proud owner of 1.95 finished drawers. They are not half bad, if I do say so myself. A little wonky, but that's to be expected when you're doing construction with all hand tools. I got one all the way done but as I was screwing the bottom onto the second drawer my third battery went dead. I just have to chill out for about an hour and two of them will be full speed again. The drawers are damn huge. You know how I am -- larger than life and out of control. So these are 18" wide, 21" long, and 6" deep. We don't intend on using the drawers for anything, I only made them to fill some of the gap between the fridge and the bar. But if we ever do use them, we could store like quilts and stuff in them. Boom!

I guess I'll go eat some dinner while I'm waiting for a recharge. I hope Daniel is impressed with my progress ... and doesn't mind vacuuming up large amounts of sawdust. Later skaters.

Well then. As most of you already know, I've been back from Mexico for quite some time now. Just haven't found the motivation to update. You know how it is. Mexico was a blast. Not quite the unmitigated boozefest you might have imagined since we had 5 children under the age of 3 in tow. But it was very relaxing to spend the day by the pool or by the beach indulging in way too much delicious all-included food and the occasional drink. I would highly recommend and all inclusive Mexico package. The only excursion I took outside of the resort aside from a little light shopping was snorkeling out on some reefs about an hour away near Cozumel. It was pretty cool in the shallow water. I was about 4 feet away from a shark that was as tall as me. I don't think he could have killed me but he probably could have eaten my leg before I was able to gouge out his eyes, so that was exhilarating. By the end of the trip though I was feeling quite sea sick and had "maintain" for about 30 minutes until we hit the shore. But I was successful, so that was good. My nieces are all adorable and a trip and I think everyone had as much fun as me ... even if they didn't get the opportunity to take as many naps as I did.

Since I've been back I haven't done much in the way of excitement. But that's all about to change. My birthday weekened extravaganza begins tomorrow after work. Then it's time for Kaboomtown fireworks and I have the rest of the week off to just lounge around and work on my bar. Believe it or not, progress has been made. I got the supports up on the wall and the plywood base cut out and put on the supports. A lot of planning has been done at work to figure out what comes next. Near as I can figure it, I'm going to put the middle "legs" that will encase the trash can in next followed by the wooden lighting encasement for the back. Then it's time to tile and cut trash holes and cutting board holes. Then just staining and trimming everything out to hide the many, many, many mistakes I have made and likely will make before I'm done. If I work on it throughout my time off, there is a good chance that this bitch could be done before the end of summer. And then it's time to have a party to show off the bar.

My birthday party on Friday was canceled because Metro Retro won't be open. After I found out they would be closed, I just kind of said fuck it. I'm going to dinner with my parents and then I'm just gonna hang out at home. If anybody wants to come over and drink beer with me and shower me with gifts, you are all invited to do just that. I'll let you know if plans change, but I'm 99.34% sure they won't. So get shopping because you only have 4 more days left to make your purchases. Thaaaaaanks.

We did it. We moved. It only took about 12 grueling hours to finish. I can only imagine how long it would have taken were it not for the help of my father and our dear friend, DJ iMernex. I have been working long hours at work and I'm getting ready to go back to Seattle on Sunday (for one day) so I've been very little help in putting anything away. Plus, you all know me. I'd keep shit in boxes indefinitely if it were up to me. But not Daniel. Boy howdy, everything is done. It looks amazing. This place is so fucking huge it's ridonkulous.

I'll be gone Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and then after that I should be home for a while. I say this because everyone I like needs to drop by as soon as you can to see the pad. I can't wait for Kaboom Town this year. I think we're gonna do a Kaboom Town/My Birthday/Housewarming Party thing. Whatever will we call it? Kaboothdarming? I am pretty sure that's a city in Iraq. Anyway, come up with some ideas and I'll pick the second best one.

The only downside to living here (and I'm not sure it's even a downside) is that there's ample parking on the streets over here. Whereas before I was usually forced to park in the garage, here I can always find a spot right by my door. Which means that birds poop all over my car every day. And it's an unbearable amount. So tonight I begin Operation Shine Lasers Under Trees. Every night around dusk, I am going to walk underneath every tree on the street and put a laser in the eye of every bird settling down for the night. After a few nights, they should be discouraged from ever staying there again. And I'll just keep on until my car is always clean. If it doesn't work, I'll just get a BB gun.

And that concludes my post. Having Daniel's computer here all set up is really nice and will hopefully equate to more frequent blogs. So don't delete me from your favorites list just yet. There's plenty more where this came from.

g*d, I have been dreading this post. You know how you just have too many stories to tell and then you don't tell them and they pile up to the point where you really would just rather let them go by the wayside? Well, no, none of you understand. All of your blogs died after a few months. Trust me, though, it's rough.

I've been in Seattle for over a week now. All in all I'm liking the city. I don't like the way people drive here though. They take the speed limit as some kind of "limit" for your "speed" instead of a starting point for negotiation that you automatically add 5mph to... y'know, like normal people. It's fucking annoying. The bigass van they gave me to tool around in more than justifies any kind of driving I feel like doing.

On Tuesday, I made some friends. For some reason I never have any trouble making friends when I'm living in a foreign city. I guess I'm just that fun, outgoing, and internet savvy. Their names are Phillip and Robin and they're my new SBFF. They live up on Capital Hill, which is a literal fucking hill that I have marched up and down countless times in the past week. It's been worth it though because we always have fun when I get to the top. They have this cat. Oh man, I have to tell you about this cat. It is half cat, half bobcat, and it's obvious in its markings and in the face that this is the case. He also has short ears like a bobcat. What they tell me is that a bobcat is the only feline other than a domesticated cat that can successfully mate with a domesticated cat. However, the babies are usually so retarded that they don't even make it full term. Well this cat beat the odds. His name is Webol. They calls him that because he wobbles when he walks. He looks like he's severely intoxicated when he walks. It is so damn cute. If he wants you to scratch his head, you have to use two hands -- one to stabilize him, and one to pet him. I'm not an animal person, but I like this cat.

So I've pretty much spent the week working some, and then meeting Phillip and Rob, or one or the other, for food and shopping and drinks. We went out pretty hard this weekend. Another city's gay clubs under my belt ... maybe that's not a good way to describe my collection of gay clubs. Anywho.

I am so ready to come home. I miss Daniel and the stoop and Coors Light and Mexican food and Whataburger and my couch and my TV and my bed and Salmie and J's. Good thing I'll be home just in time for Kaboomerang (what I was calling Kaboomtwon, but I'll conceed their name is better). Friday can't come soon enough. I've had fun here, but I want to come home. ARG. I'm going to be coming back to Seattle a lot.

I'm on the phone so this post is over.

I was trying to take a picture of my tonsils for you. They are so swollen and painful that I ended up taking myself to the emergency room yesterday morning. I wish you could all see them but even the best picture that I was able to take is a high contrast, blurry, red mess. They really are disgusting though, trust me. Turns out, I have an infection, but since I'm already on penicillin to ward off bacterial infections, and there's nothing to be done for viral infections, they basically told me to go home. If the pain doesn't subside soon, I'm going to go absolutely crazy. I'm actually sick of being on pain medication. Never thought I'd say that.

As I was traipsing through the pictures on my camera, I found these that I took the night I invented ash tray liners. Daniel has these really cool ash trays. Anytime we smoke inside, Daniel has to dump them out into some aluminum foil (to avoid the old-cigaratte smell eminating from the trashcan) and wipe them out with Clorox wipes. We call it "the dump and the wipe." I was pretty sure I could find a way to eliminate the need with an aluminum foil disposable liner. It took me a while, and a bunch of prototypes, but I finally came up with an easily repeatable manufacturing process. It's patented, though. I just thought I'd show it to you because you might want to come up with your own patented process if you have ashtrays. It really does simplify life. Of course, you could always just make your ashtrays completely out of aluminum foil like I do. I'm getting pretty good at it.

KaboomTwon has been rescheduled for Labor Day weekend, September 3rd. (No, that wasn't a typo. I've decided to call our second KaboomTown party, KaboomTwon.) Daniel and I want to serve mojitos at this one. My fear isn't that they're hard or time consuming to make, it's that I can't come up with a good name for them. I assume we'll be having Grizzy Gooses and Kaboomcrown'n'cokes again, and "mojito" just doesn't stand up to that. So let's have a contest to come up with a Labor Day, firework, KaboomTwon inspired name for a Mojito. The winner might get an invitation to the partay.

And finally, let's close with our product placement of the day. Today we feature the simplehuman line of trash receptacles. These are, in my opinion, the finest trashcans money can buy. I've featured here, my 40 liter semi-round step-on can as well as Daniel's 30 liter pull-out model. He doesn't have a lot of floor space in his kitchen so it was the perfect model. They also make their own simplehuman trash bags that are custom fitted to our cans. They are the finest trash bags, way better than any Glad force flex or any shit like that. These are really thick and truly won't rip when you stuff them full. I love it. Is anybody listening to me?

Our Kaboomtown party was such a hit! You'll see why I say that shortly.

First off, Kaboomcrown'ncokes are so delicious. I was able to convince most of the guests to scream "KABOOM!" when they ladled an ice cream scoop full of cherries into their drinks. That bottle of Crown lasted all of like 30 minutes. We switched to Grizzy Gooses (I wondered if the plural was Grizzy Geese, but it's not) soon after. When the Grey Goose was gone, we switched to Grabsoluts. That makes no sense since the "Gr" came from "Grey" but oh well. Absolizzy sounds stupid. The champagne flowed and the beer went way faster than expected. Smart move on my part getting plastic bottles. You'll see why I say that shortly.

When it got dark we all went to the roof of the garage. It was solid people. Solid drunk people. It was pouring rain. All the drunk people were dancing and hootin' 'n hollerin' in the rain. Yours truly included. Someone had a watermelon full of liquor that they were dispensing shots from. When that ran out, they filled it up with whatever beer was available. Too much fun. Brett Sabulous and I screamed, "KABOOM!" at the fireworks repeatedly. Repeatedly. Since it was pouring rain, they only shot off about a third of the planned fireworks, I'm estimating. There was no grand finale like I'm sure they had planned. I felt bad for the people that had probably planned the whole thing, it was basically ruined, but still totally rad. I love fireworks because when I was little my parents used to tell me that they were for my birthday.

After much merry making on the roof, we went back downstairs. I was pretty drunk and happy so some of the details escape me, but things got ugly. You'll see why I say that now. Without using any names or daring to understand the provocation, several fights broke out. Not like fun friendly fights. Like mean trying-to-hurt-each-other fights. I think back to like when Todd and DAvid would fight and I'd sit back and laaaauuuugh. Because even though they were throwing real punches and causing real bruises, you just knew that deep down inside they weren't going to hurt each other. It's like watching brothers fight. Not so that night. They were out for blood. And your local good Samaritan, Sidesho, was trying to stop it. Several mislanded punches later, several concrete tackles later, several wrestling matches and alpha male chest thrusts later, it was finally disolved, but not before our party was basically ruined. I was left with a few minor scraps and scabs, bruises all over both arms from someone fighting to escape my grip, a severely fucked up shoulder, two knees that don't take much to fuck up -- but falling on them on concrete did the trick -- a new trick ankle, and a sore nose. Good times, good times.

I was pretty upset at the time. By "upset" I mean "really drunk and upset" which always makes things worse. I took quite a bit of consoling, not because I was hurt, but because I had to watch people I cared about trying to draw blood from each other. I'm a delicate boy, I can't handle that shit. But now that's it been a couple of days, looking back it was rather exhilarating. I've never even been near a fight, and frankly have always been terrified of the proposition, but now I don't think it would be that bad. I mean, no one was fighting me, I was just in the way, but still, it doesn't hurt THAT bad to get hit. So watch the fuck out, everyone, this is your warning. I'm looking for a reason now. I WISH some mother fucker be sittin in my seat.

So that was my Kaboomtown. The 4th was much more serene consisting of dinner at Daniel's parents' house and a drive home where we could see at least 3 fireworks shows going on at all times. This is so my favorite holiday. It's really cool too because it celebrates our country's independence; it's not just some Hallmark-invented holiday like Valentine's Day or easter. So hope everyone else had a wonderful (and tad safer) holiday. Czech you skillets on the flip side.

I feel the need to share with you all a couple of products that I can't live without. I really wish I was better about letting you know of all of my purchases, but it always slips my mind. So hopefully, this won't be the last installment of free advertising here on SideshoViD.com.

The first one I think everyone should own is Plink. Plink your sink! These are little yellow balls that could easily be mistaken for lemon sours. When I grind up the fatty remains of eight chicken breasts and leave the remnants in the blades of my garbage disposal for a week, I'm just asking for an unmistakable stench. I used to rely on handfuls of ice cubes and lemon halves for salvation, but now I have something even better. One of these little Plinks not only completely removes the odor, but replaces it with the most refreshing lemon scent. I only wish they made them in orange flavor to match my orange Fantastik, orange Febreze Air Deodorizer, and orange Pledge. It's citrus, though, so it works. Buy some.

Next, we have Bear Naked. I was first introduced to the Bear Naked product line by watching their story on the Food Network. It was truly inspiring. I went to Whole Foods (the only place I know of where you can buy the stuff) and tried it. Incredible. The cereal is unbeatable as a breakfast, or any meal of the day for that matter, but it's also good just dry out of the bag for a quick snack. I recently tried their all natural oatmeal and I can no longer eat that Quaker shit. Bear Naked is just so much better. It's not mushy. It's grainy and nutty and so fucking good. I must impel you all to try it.

That's all the product placement I have for today. The only other thing I have to advertise is our July 3rd Kaboomtown Party here in the ol' Addison! Circle. Daniel and I are hosting a little get together, which will probably be much like every other night of our lives, except with fireworks! We have two drinks planned. Grizzy Goose is first on the menu -- a mixture of Izzy Natural Soda (ah, fuck, I just realized I could totally advertise that... try it too) and Grey Goose vodka. I know, I know, I only drink Effen, but it's too hard to come up with a good name on that. Second are our Kaboomcrown'ncokes. It's just like a Crown and Coke except we're gonna put real cherries in them. Kaboom! Oh yeah, also, every time you make one you have to scream, "KABOOM!" when you drop the cherries in. Loves it.

Let me know if you want to come join us and I just might let you. Later, have-nots!

Well hello there, everybody. This is Sidesho reporting to you live from Ryan Short's fabulously newly painted apartment ... oh, and also drunk as hail. He was supposed to wake up and drink more with me when I got home but that has proven unpossible. Me fail English?

So tonight I had planned on going out on account that I do not have to work tomorrow. RAWK! But then, lo and behold, I get a call from the callbox of my apartment and it is JennyCole and her mother. They had been at the Kaboom Town hoopla hosted by my gracious landlord and wanted to cool off. Okay, no problem. But then they managed to convince me to join them for the fireworks. More and more, as the years pass, I have found myself less and less interested in the traditional festivities dictacted by every holiday. I couldn't have cared less whether or not I saw fireworks. (Although fireworks do hold a special place in my heart since when I was little my parents used to tell me that the fireworks were in honor of my birthday.) So, I find myself on the top floor of a parking garage watching fireworks. In their defense, it was the best finale I have ever seen in my life. Probably 5 fireworks a second for about 5 minutes. RAD!

After that, we eat at a piss-poor restaurant inside Addison Circle and then I go home. Turns out, every fucking road in Addison is a parking lot. At this point, I've resolved myself to not go out, on account that I cannot leave the parking garage. A few IMs with Ryan Short later, I am on the road bound for downtown Dallas. It was rigoddamndiculous getting to the Tollway, but when I finally did, we were en route to JRs. Keith and Lauren and some girl named Katie that I met for the first time tonight (?) joined us. I managed to get drunk as hail between 12:30 and 2:00am. But that couldn't possibly be enough for me, right? Right?!

So I took Ryan Short home to his beatiful and newly painted apartment and proceeded to drink some more when disaster struck. We are out of cigarettes! Unacceptable when plastered. So he goes to bed and I walk my happy ass to the 24-7 Wally Mart nearby to get some. I talked to my lover Marshall the whole way there. That was fun since I haven't talked to him in 4-eva, and he claims to have blonde hair now. So anyway, I bought some squares, as Joseph would call them, and then walked home to find Ryan - surprise - passed the fuck out and me drinking alone.

So there we are. By my records, I have made zero grammatical mistakes. You're more than welcome to double check that assertion. You'll notice that when I'm drunk I just ramble; I don't skimp on the important stuff. Please don't forget that my birthday is on Wednesday. No one that I know of has made any plans for me, so I think I'm going to take Thursday off of work and go out Wednesday with Andrew. I'll definitely keep you all posted on that. Later sk8ers!