I've had a couple of stories up my sleeve for about a week now. Usually if I'm too lazy (hungover) to blog right away, the story never gets told. Who knows what awesome parties went unblogged and have since been forgotten. Well, not this one. Not Miss Lesbie Ann's Housewarming Party!

It was so grood to have the old gang all back together. It was Leslie, Rick, Josh, Bob, Raul, Tyresa, Aaron. So not the entire gang, but certainly some key players. We had planned on two days of merriment, getting drunk and retelling old stories. It made me miss the days of Halo when you just knew each weekend was going to be more interesting than the last. But back to my story, Leslie's house is just beautiful. I'm a tad jealous, but we Addison folk don't long for equity. Josh got her a delicious candle. Aaron got her a golden blanket. But Bob ... oh, Bob ... Bob got her cocknballs.

As soon as Leslie unwrapped the rather sizeable frame, Josh said, "That's BOB!" And indeed it was. This bit of expressionism is titled "Señor Humps." If you'll look closely, you'll see that Bob has painted his anterior and posterior with different colors of paint and then sacrificed his body for his art. There's really a lot of emotion in it. Emotion and pubic hair.

Thanks for the killer party, Lester!

Story #2. The other day, my most sabulous friend Brett texted me and invited me out to dinner. We decided to take up Smith and Wollensky (one of my all time fav steakhouses) on their "eat your age" offer. Every day after 8:30pm, you can go in and get an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert and pay a dollar for every year you've managed to survive (minimum $25, maximum $65). I'm not sure why they do this, possibly because we were just about the only people in there that late, but surely they're taking a loss on it. But who cares, everything that I ordered totalled $60-70 easily, and I paid $25. It's an amazing deal, everyone go check it out.

There are very few exceptions to the offer. There's some seafood boquet appetizer for 100 bucks that's off limits. And the live Maine lobster and like a 30lb. lobster tail. Pretty much anything over 100 bucks you can't get but anything else you want. So when I was asked if I'd like the 8oz. filet mignon or the 14oz. I replied, "Derrrrrrrrr." Not to be outdone, Mr. Sabulous ordered himself the 28oz. prime rib. And of course, we're connoisseurs, so we got it all rare. So there are 42 fucking ounces of raw meat on our table, as well as some potatoes (as shown), creamed spinach, and a wonderful bottle of wine. It was a fight to fit it all in, but we certainly ate until we could eat no more. g*d, I love gluttony. We had to save room for dessert, too. So we had all that plus crab meat and fried calamari appetizers, six shooter sorbets and the trio of creme brulees, and we got out of there spending next to nothing. What a wonderful way to spend an evening, thanks Brett!

I'm fresh out of stories now, until next time, same Sidesho-channel. Peace.

Welcome Sidesho-Viewers. Today I greet you all from the interior of Club 511, my new home away from home. I've been all about the firsts lately, so I thought I would give Ms. Leslie Bizzell the honor of watching me whilst I update. She is, naturally, one of my most loyal viewers, and most deserving of this. We are closing out my 32nd hour of being awake. It's been a long ass time since I've been awake for this long, and I can't say that its entirely enjoyable. However, the many beers of Leslie's that I've drank and the 'martin-ay' that I drank at Chili's are helping to take the edge off just a tad.

This is the second time this week that I have stayed awake to watch the sun rise due to school. I fuckin hate school, but its over now and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I was totally supposed to go to work today but hahahahaha. So when I finally finished my paper this afternoon around 12:30 I decided to check my email. After that, it was most definitely time to get drunk with Leslie so I woke her ass up and invited myself over.

Now I find myself nestled on the most comfortable couch with far too many people. I vowed to LESLIE, Rick, and Ty, that I would stay up and party until we go to Northgate to watch Aaron dunk his ring and Josh re-dunk his right (What? who does that?). I will do my best, and I'm a total trooper. Ms. Bizzell and I (who together comprise Bizzells Photogrizzaphs) are supposed to sojourn to Houston tomorrow to take some pictures of office furniture. My uncle resales the shit, but me being the artist I am totally have an idea to, like, sell the shit out of this stuff. We're gonna have Leslie pose erotically on top of all the furniture. It's GOLD!

Leslie totally has a wireless router inside her apartment which has totally allowed me the mobility to continue updating despite the fact that we have travelled outside the confines of Club 511. I am now smoking while updating ... Another first! I completely feel (and look, as was confirmed by Leslie) like Carrie Bradshaw. Is it really our inner selves that dictate our relationships or are we all just playing the inner child?

I have to go now before I have any more fun, because there is much more to be had as the night progresses. Hopefully, I'll be awake and cognizant for all of it. Catch you sluts on the flip side. Peace out, have nots.

I have been putting off this blog for some time now. I have to talk about Thanksgiving. Part of the reason I was stalling was because I had to find out all that happened that night. I couldn't remember the last part of the celebration. Whoops. Anyway, it was quite riotous and out of control, just the way the holidays should be.

I cleaned my house all day long in between preparing the turkey, and had it spotless by the time AllieD, the first guest arrived. Shortly thereafter, Ryan and Todd came. By the end of the night, the meal consisted of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, bread, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole ... and taco salad. Ha! Gotta love pot luck. Let me see if I can run down the guest list without forgetting anyone and irrepairably damaging our relationship: AllieD, Jamey, Allison, Ryan, Todd, Leslie, Josh, Ryan, Josh, Kyle, Aaron, Ty, Rick, Bob, Antwat, Trey and Thomas. That's the best my faded memory can do. It was a lot of people. Then there were the 14 other guests ... each one a different empty bottle of wine. Yeah, we drank 14 bottles of wine ... as well as a box of Franzia ... and a 30 pack of Stones ... and a couple cases of Bud ... and a bottle of expensive scotch.

Needless to say it was a whole helluva a lot of fun. The next morning I woke up feeling wonderful, but soon discovered I was just still drunk. Later on the hangover hit me and I spent the day throwing up. But it did wonders for my abs. You should have seen the kitchen. It totally should have been deemed a bio hazard and demolished. We're talkin food everywhere, like turkey grease and shit. Wine stains on everything. Dishes piled high all filled with leftovers. Broken glass galore.

We broke 2 glasses and one bottle of wine. I only saw one glass get broken ... the other two must have happened outside since there are shards of proof. Aaron and Trey got towed. Aaron got hit in the face with a wine bottle? Antwat got taken advantage of in the back room. Somebody stuck novelty fingernails on my right hand ... and there's a pair of handcuffs on my bathroom sink. My toe is all but broken. I woke up next to Allison wearing more clothes than I had remembered. Somebody stole some DVDs from me.

I will never drink wine again. Thanksgiving was absolutely insane but totally fun. Can't wait to do it again whenever that holiday happens to roll around. Then I had to get serious cause I had two finals on Friday. I bombed the first one and did alright on the second one. The second one was Control Systems, and it was only two questions, but took me the full 2.5 hours and I didn't finish. Cra-zy. Then I went home for a spell, got dinner with Kyle at Rumors since he's goin home in a couple days, and then started working on documentation. We have huge documents due on Monday. Sucks. I should be working on them right now, but I didn't want to leave you all in suspense any longer. I'll be so much happier when all of this is done.

Last night was pretty tame. I sat around most of the night not really doing anything. You'd never guess by my behavior that finals are right around the corner. There was a party going on over at Julius's apartment last night that a lot of my friends were at. So my phone was ringing off the hook with people telling me to get over there. Which is flattering, but you all know how I feel about my phone ringing. Eventually Dustin and Trey came to get me, because I kept stalling.

I didn't go out earlier because I was over at Allison's looking at her new baby dog, Colby, whom I call Winky. This dog is cute and nice, but has a gimp eye, and a crazy streak. He kept spinning full speed and barking at the ceiling and then ramming his nose into the ground. And he sleeps with his head propped up on his nose. Too funny. I'm sure she'll be thrilled that I'm making fun of her new dawg.

So anyway, I eventually ended up at Julius's around the time the alcohol ran out. I had one cup of punch ... just enough to turn my tongue blue so I would fit in with everyone else. Naturally, I ran into Leslie, Rick, Ryan, Thomas, KYLE, Josh and Josh, among others, and have to mention them. However, I decided to put a little twist on their sudden SVC fame. Since I talk about them so much and there are so many names to remember, they will henceforth be referred to as The SideshoGang.

So I was standin outside talking with the SideshoGang when Leslie decided to tell me that my story about my first time on the internet wasn't funny. I don't know where she got the idea that this was an open forum, but nonetheless, she offered up her negative feedback. She redeemed herself only by laughing at my interpretation of Britney Spears "Me Against the Music" where I wonder why she's always singing about getting a p'zone. Speaking of, that does sound kind of delicious. But back to my story. Josh and Ryan scored points for the SideshoGang by saying the story was, indeed, funny, so they're back to a collective par. Way to go, gang!

I got woken up this morning at 4:00pm by Josh and Ryan telling me to open my front door. So I did and they shared gossip and stories from last night. One of the stories was that Ryan had spilled a big coke on his lap on the drive home, and had drenched his phone in soda. So it was not functioning today. He had a Nokia phone from T-Mobile, so I went into my room and got my old Nokia phone and said he could have it if he wanted. Because all you have to do is insert your memory card into a phone and it works as yours. His away message right now said that he was so excited about his new phone that he's going to name it SideshoViD. I wonder if that has anything to do with the front screen already displaying SideshoViD. Either way, I'm still flattered. Its like I gave birth to my own baby boy, only he's a gigantic baby boy who smokes and says 'shit' a lot. Y'know?

I was trying to update my webpage today, but I was at a complete loss for something to say. My notepad file full of future blog ideas has been destroyed (more on that later) so I was just kind of sitting around waiting for something blogworthy to happen to me. I was at a little get together last night over at Aaron's apartment drinkin some beers. Leslie, Ryan B., Josh, Rick, Josh, Thomas, Bob and Kyle were all there. These are the bitches who call me "Sidesho" in real life, so if I hang out with them and don't mention them, I know I'm gonna hear about it.

Anyway, it was good times, but left me feeling less than motivated today. Not hungover, just blah. So I didn't go to work. Instead I decided to go get my laptop fixed by the good people at Best Buy. Unfortunately, they told me what I already knew. I had to reformat. I am not really losing any precious data since everything I've done is backed up, I am losing some pictures and things I wanted, but no big deal, being a digital packrat is one of my least desirable qualities. What I am losing is hours worth of installation on a myriad of software, all of which I used very regularly both in school and work. That is going to be the worst part.

So my sick little laptop is lying in bed right now getting some AC power and reformatting himself. Poor thing, I hope he feels better once we get him up and running again. Dear god, I hope I can find my Windows XP CD. Anyway, now the serendipitous part of the story. I'm driving home on the backroads because I despise left turns ... so I'm taking Lincoln over to Munson. I knew they were residential streets so I was going like 30. Well, it turns out Munson's speed limit is actually 25, and there is a cop sitting there obviously waiting for people like me to drive by. I really wasn't surprised when I saw him turn around and come after me. I like never intentionally speed, but I seem to get pulled over a lot more than a person should. But I never get in trouble so whatever.

So I pulled over, and he was very nice. He asked for my license and registration. My registration was like a year expired, so I was like, "Oh god no, I have a current one, I'm sorry." And I hand him another without looking and he goes, "This one is two years expired." So we kind of laughed and I said, "Well I know for a fact there is a current one in here, just lemme find it." I eventually did. He issued me a formal warning for going 34 in a 25 ... which granted was over the ridiculously slow speed limit, but the cop was like, "I need you to slow it down out there, Mr. Fisher." But if I slowed it down any more, I'd be idling.

I'm watching this interview with Michael Jackson. It's pretty unreal. I don't know, though. I kinda feel bad for the guy because he's obviously out of touch with reality, and you can't really blame him for being insane. Although, as I'm watching how people react to his presence everywhere he goes around the entire world, I can't help but think that he might be jesus. I mean, how many people do you know that can reduce a person to tears just by being 50 feet away? I'm sure most of you won't agree with me, especially based on the recent events. Just don't forget: jesus loved the little children.

I didn't really do anything today. I was out last night drinkin' some beers with Leslie, Josh, Rick and Steve when I got a call from Raul saying that Chris was over at Terysa's (how is that for some name dropping). So I went to chill with Chris since he left town this morning and won't be back until the Christmas break. That was a good time. When I got home, my stomach was kind of queasy, so I took a phenergin. That was a bad idea, since you're not supposed to mix it with alcohol, really. But that's just a suggestion. So, I ended up catching roughly 15 hours of sleep while missing class and work today. Whoopsadaisy. I spent the evening cooking some meat 'n cheese for me and Ryan and then preparing the mac 'n cheese for Thanksgiving at AllieD's tomorrow. Not sure what else I'm gonna do tonight. Thomas might come over and watch a DVD. I should buy a boat.

My life is a perpetual hangover. I would go into more detail on that statement and get philosophical, but you all know that is not what this webpage is about. What is it about?

Well, last night Dustin and Trey came over for an ice cream party. I had a craving the other night for raspberries. I may or may not have revealed this little fact before, but I will do anything for raspberries. If you're ever at the bargaining table with me, money's not very effective ... bring raspberries. I knew they were out of season, so they were a tad expensive, but they were sooo worth it. I brought them home and threw a handfull of sugar on top of them, and they just melt into this raspberry sludge that made me giddy. So, I bought some ice cream and put the berries on top.

Dustin, being Dustin, brought a bottle of wine with him and we sipped on that til it was gone, and then decided to go out. I got drunk and ended up leaving with Raul and Terysa and partying back at Terysa's crib. It was a lot of fun, but I woke up hungover again and my throat is on fire. I hadn't smoked all last week and it is amazing how quickly your throat gets acclimated to not being singed every hour. I met a bunch of people last night. Raul mentioned SideshoViD.com. Anytime people find out that I have a webpage, they immediately want to be on it. Even if they've never seen it and don't know the url. This was the case with Brandon, but I promised him, nonetheless, that I would mention him. Ryan Byrd showed up at the shindig as well. It's never a party without him. And Josh Sievers seems to think I don't talk about him enough, which is probably true. And naturally, if I mention Josh I don't want Leslie to get jealous. They were both out at the club last night, and its always a pleasure to run into them (don't worry, they're okay).

On another note, the money is still up for grabs. The picture that Sean got was of a guy with a really long braided rat tail. The guy deserves our derision, but he is not Padawan Boy. So keep snapping pictures! I didn't want Sean to feel bad, so I thought I would include his picture anyway. Nice shot, btw, especially considering it was taken with a phone.

Last little note: Thanksgiving is set for December 10th. That is the Wednesday in two weeks, aka the first day of the Dead Days this semester. You are all invited, however, I would appreciate it if you would let me know if you want to come. And in order to get in the door you have to contribute something to the feast. If you don't cook, a loaf of bread, a bottle of wine, a case of beer ... all these are appropriate. I might also need another fold-out table or some chairs. That would depend on who is coming. I just can't make as many sides this year because I have a small crappy kitchen, whereas this summer we had a big kitchen and 3 of them right next to each other to use. It will still rule though because my turkeys are the best. Hope to see most of you there!