I don't know if you've noticed the conspicuous omission of any posts about Febrehab this year. It's not that I'm not doing -- I am. It's just that it's really not much of a challenge this year. I really don't drink a whole lot these days. And, I wasn't going to mention this publicly, just in case, but now I think it's pretty official: I quit smoking 6 months ago.

Right when we got back from Owen's wedding when I wasn't feeling well, I didn't smoke and then I just kind of figured I would keep it going just for the hell of it. So now that's that. I don't foresee myself ever going back to it. I don't even miss it.

But that does kind of take the fun out of rehab if you're not addicted to anything. But this year I am trying to focus on sleeping more, so I've moved my bedtime up to 10:30pm. I do not stay up past that for any reason. And the other side challenge is to do something cultural in Dallas each weekend in February. So yesterday JennyCole came into town and we went with her to the Dallas Museum of Art. Got some general admission passes and walked around and looked at art. She'd been there 100 times, Daniel had been a few times, but I've never been. It was a really fun way to spend the afternoon. Then we came back and chit chatted for a while and then Jenny had to leave.

So far so good, just not a lot to report so I've kind of forgotten to keep the blog up to date, but you're probably getting used to that these days, no?

I just got back from a week in San Antonio. I was there to take a training class for work. It was from 8-5 every day in the hotel I was staying at next to the airport. Needless to say I was bored out of my gourd. I took this picture as I was checking out of my hotel room because I thought it rather succinctly summed up my entire trip. People in my training course were kind of laughing at me because I was eating each night at places like Papadeaux's and Applebee's. They thought I should get out and experience the local fare. But I was just like, c'mon, I'm from Dallas. It's not like San Antonio is a foreign country. If I managed to find something uniquely San Antonio it would just be a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place with meat, cheese, and tortillas combined in a variety of ways. So I opted to eat at places I liked, albethem chain restaurants, because it was free. And that made it special.

So I made it through the week with little incident. Last night Daniel and I went with JennyCole to see the new Sex and the City movie. It was fantastic. If you haven't seen it yet, you definitely should. We went to the Studio Movie Grill to watch it so we could get loaded at the same time. But ultimately, the same thing happened to me that always happens there. I end up having to pee so bad by the time the movie's over that I have a hard time sitting still. But I made it through. There was one thing about the movie that pissed me off. And it's not a spoiler, but if you don't want to know anything about the movie don't read this next part. So Charlotte adopted that little Chinese girl, right? And what did she name her? Lily. How many times have I said that I'm adopting a little Asian girl and naming her Lily because I want violin music while I eat? But I also always said that if I had another little girl, I would name her Rose. Not so much because of the obvious floral reference, but because I like the really old-timey names. Okay, so Charlottle has a baby and they name it Rose. So now if I ever by some fluke of nature have two daughters, and name them Lily and Rose, people will be like, oh yeah from Sex and the City. And that will piss me off. So I'm having my tubes tied.

In other news, the Allistralian came back to the states for a visit. She is leaving Australia soon and convinced me that it's now or never if I want to go visit her. So Daniel and I are going to Australia. For REAL this time. No joke. It'll probably be somewhere in the August range. It's gonna be a pretty baller ass vacation, but that's okay because those are the kinds of vacations we need to be taking. I'll keep you all posted on details of that. If anyone would like to go with, the more people we have the easier that 12 hour flight will be. Lemme know. Peace out.

Daniel's Teeny Tini 23rd Birthday Party was a whole lot of fun. We spent the whole day preparing for it. Luckily, I took that Friday off from work. First we had to buy all of the liquor that was on my shopping list. Then we got Airon to come over and mix up four pitchers of what were essentially shots. He was clever enough to make them pink, orange, green, and blue. And we had rows and rows of teeny tini glasses that Airon also acquired for us and I filled them up in rows. I wish I had Daniel's camera to show you all. It was vury pretty. And they were all extremely tastey. T to the A to the STEY girl you tastey. Everybody slurped them down. I had enough in each pitcher to fill up all the glasses twice, so I don't think anybody was left wanting.

There was a great mix of people coming and going all night long. I was exhausted when it was over and I know it was really special for Daniel for everyone to come. He got some really great gifts. Like the autographed pictures of Kylie Minogue that Adam! ordered him. Or the portrait of Kylie Minogue that JennyCole hand crafted out of colored pencils, beads, and flowers. Truly amazing. And Kelly got him a book about cars and a year long prescription to Car and Driver. Ryan Short got him this really great set of bath spa stuff. I can't remember what else he got, but it was all good stuff.

And Katie wore my dress! And looked fantastic. I will definitely grab a picture of that and show it to you all. Biggest accomplishment of my life thus far. Every time I saw her I would yell, "WHO ARE YOU WEARING? WHO ARE YOU WEARING?" over and over again. Good times.

But I guess the most exciting news is that I'M MOOOVING! Daniel and I signed a lease on Friday for a first floor, corner, 3-bedroom apartment in Addison! Circle. Okay, so I'm just moving down the street, but it's still fucking exciting. We are going to have so much room. Guest bedroom, guest bath, family room, living room, dining room, big kitchen, huge master bedroom with a door that opens to the outside. We are moving on May 15th so anybody that would like to help us cart shit over there, it would be most appreciated. Or if anybody has any boxes I can borrow before then, I would also appreciate that.

I think sometime around my birthday (July 6) we are going to have a birthday/house warming/Kaboom Town party. I'll be sure to let you all know when that is. And I hope you all have a great week and keep out of the rain. Laaaaaaaate.

I don't think I would even attempt this blog were it not for the raging hangover I am weathering at the moment. Sometimes it clouds my judgement. I am going to try to explain to you all why twice yesterday I almost wet myself laughing on separate occasions, but I fear the "I guess you had to be there." Alas, onward and upward let's start the show.

The first time I laughed, I was sitting on my couch watching TV with my dear friend JennyCole. Incidentally, JennyCole is concerned that whenever I mention her on my website, it's usually combined with some kind of rip on Mormons -- because they're all fucking retarded -- but this time I wanted it to be different. I want you all to know that JennyCole is cool man, yeah. So okay, we're on the couch and that new Campbell's soup commercial comes on. It goes, "Campbells, mmm mmm good... possibilities!" And it shows some douchebag dipping a grilled cheese sandwich into their tomato soup. When the commercial was over, Jenny was all, "Really... just how many possibilities are there... it's soup." And we started laughing and singing, "Crumble a cracker on top, um, or you could just dip in bread. Possibilities!" But also you have to imagine some guy in a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, pencil in his mouth, plinking away at the piano. He's just come up with the perfect tune and chorus and is now desperately trying to come up with some possibilities for soup. Punctuate the day with random bursts of "Campbells! Mmm! Mmm! good... possibilities!" and you've got instant funny.

The next time I laughed hysterically was after Thommi and I got back from S4. Oh yeah, Thommi's here, but I'll talk about that another time. I'm not sure if he's lied to anybody and I'm not supposed to mention he's here. Anyway, Daniel and I were relating a story about something we'd chuckled about the other day, but this time it was g*d diddly damn hilarious. His mother loves this wine called Conundrum. It's kind of sweet for my taste, but certainly tasty, you should try it. The reason it's called Conundrum is because the flavors within are hard to discern. And the slogan is, "Puzzling, yet satisfying." I'm not sure if that's actually the slogan or if Daniel made that up. So then we embellished it to, "Puzzling, yet satisfying ... like a toe in the twat." Because that's the only thing we could think of that was both puzzling and satisfying. Now for this one you have to imagine a black and white CK type commercial with a woman in bed. There's a man sleeping head-to-toe with her. First her face is startled, then horrified, then utterly confused, then a huge satisfied smile. Conundrum. Like a toe in the twat.

I swear to fucking xrist, I should be in marketing. Speaking of jebus, there are these xmas cards I want at Urban Outfitters. It has a picture of jebus on the front gathering the children around him and he's saying, "Happy Birthday to me!" and then on the back they say, "Merry Christmas to you!" So cute.

Okay, I'm going to join the recovery sleep fest again. If you didn't think this blog was funny, then you obviously just didn't get it. Laaaaaaaaaaaaate.

Any of you that have been to my residence in the past seven or so years have probably had the good fortune of witnessing the most beautiful coffee table ever created. It started out as a normal coffee table donated to my dorm room by a friend of my mother. One freshman year later and the facade was horribly damaged and the finish nearly entirely removed by spilt Everclear. I knew something had to be done, so I enlisted the help of my very artistic and talented friend, JennyCole, and soon ended up with this...

It's beautiful. It's creative. I love it. HOWever, it does not exactly fit in with the color palatte of my apartment. I had considered the whole space/ocean/mountain/sky theme for my living room, but instead went with tan and red. Considering Ryan Short and I are someday going to open up Tan & Red Designs together, it was a no-brainer. Anyway, the table holds a lot of sentimental value to me because Jenny and I did it together so long ago, so I knew I couldn't get rid of it. I thought maybe I could cut the legs off and use it as a wall hanging, but again, not really in keeping with my concept of "vintage Parisian." What to do? What to do indeed.

I've been using the table in my bedroom ever since the redesign. It sits directly behind the head of my bed and serves to hold my many extra pillows. You never know when you need to switch in the middle of the night to a softer or firmer or more Tempur-pedic pillow. It's a pillow table. A pillow-table? Solution! I present to each of you, the new and improved pillow-top coffee table. I used three blocks of foam to create each section and then covered the whole thing in faux leather vinyl stuff. After I stapled it down, I put a row of brass tacks between each cushion and then a border of brass tacks around the edge. I didn't think it would turn out showcase quality, but I was pleasantly surprised at how well I did. It isn't perfect, but it's perfect for me. I think it looks so cool. So fashion forward. (Sorry, I just got done watching Project Runway.) It was a fun little project, and one that I have a bruised thumb and several bleeding cuts to show for. You know me, my art hurts me so. I had to offer it up for your approval. As always, I'll entertain your comments as long as your comments entertain me.

My trip to Washington, D.C. and New York City is fast approaching. If you'd like to hang out be sure to let me know. I've already gotten word from JonSteed and Mr. Kenderdine. Hopefully, I'll be able to hook up with Topher in NYC. As an added bonus, the Monday after I get home from vacation, I will be jetting off to Seattle! You believe that? So if anybody is in the northwest, also let me know. Mr. Ryan Cloutier has already expressed an interest, but I should have puh-lenty of time up there, so I'd love some company. g*d, I'm such a jetsetter. I think it's bed time. Czech you sluts later!

I just got my new Chuck Norris shirt in the mail. If you go to ChuckNorrisFacts.com you can order one too. Also, if you haven't been to ChuckNorrisFacts.com then you are an idiot and you need to go read all the facts immediately; they are riotous. The best part of ordering your shirt is you get to design it yourself. You can choose from like 30 slogans and icons and size, arrange, color and combine them however you please. I <3 Technology.

I went to the Richardson Wildflower Festival on Saturday. Don't get me wrong; I like wildflowers as much as the next guy, but the reason I went was to see my beloved, Lisa Loeb. She was fantastic. There are few things in life that make me smile more than hearing "Stay" performed live by Lisa. When she got done, Daniel, Jenny, Steven and I moved into the shade by the gate to smoke a cigarette and look for Lisa's sister, Debby, so we could yell at her that she rocks. She was on the reality show #1 Single with Lisa and she ... well ... rocks. It turned out to be a good vantage point because Lisa walked right by us as she was paraded to the autograph signing table. I yelled, "I love you Lisa!" and Daniel yelled, "Great show!" and she totally looked at us, smiled, said hi, and thanked us. Eat that, you idiots that waited in line!

Today, I got up early to go to my Pillar Procedure check up. I ran down to my car with about 20 minutes left to make my appointment in time. When I got to the garage, I saw that my left, rear tire was fucking flat. I have never had a flat tire in my life. I called my dad to ask what I should do. He suggested changing it. DERRRRR. And that DERRRRR is for me, not him, since I honestly hadn't thought of that. My dad taught me how to change a tire once when I was 15. I thought it was an absolute bore, but thank g*d he did that. I managed to change it myself, with many dramatic text messages to Daniel claiming I couldn't. I was pretty proud of myself. I made it to my appointment about an hour late, but it wasn't a problem. Everything is healing nicely. No uvula snipping until everything is completely healed. Doctor's orders. Damn. Best part of the day? Both my checkup and fixing my "screw"ed up tire were FREE! FREE I TELLS YA! Thanks National Tire and Battery.

UPDATE!!!!1! Holy shit, I can't believe I forgot to include, like, the whole reason I started blogging today. This one requires a little bit of a back story that some of you have probably already heard but I'll tell it again because it's the greatest story ever told. One night while I was studying in the MSC with Allison our freshman year, I got up to use the bathroom. Having forgotten that they locked the downstairs bathroom at 9pm every night, I was quite embarassed when I walked full speed into a locked door. Furtively glancing around to make sure no one saw, I ran upstairs to pee. On my way back down, it hit me like a ton of bricks. As I told Allison the story, I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" and we quickly gathered our things and ran giggling to a hiding place near the bathroom. We made a crappy hand-made sign on the back of a flier that read, "DOOR NOT WORKING PROPERLY. PUSH HARD!!!" Only "HARD" was underlined like 8 times. Then we used some tape from another flier to affix it to the locked bathroom door. We hid behind the stairs leading into the cafeteria and waited. Guy after guy after guy after guy walked up, read the sign, and then proceeded to fight with the door for a few minutes. One Chinese dude took a flying leap at the door and hurt himself. Two frat boys sat there each taking turns screaming at each other, "DUDE! It says push HARD!" All the while, we sat not 10 feet away with tears streaming down our faces, fingers firmly pinching our noses closed and our other hand suffocating the hysterical laughter. It still goes down as one of the best nights of my life. So you can imagine how hard I laughed when I went to use the restroom at NTB and found this sign on the door. I didn't want to photoshop it so you'd know that it was a real picture, but it reads:

You can only imagine how many times I looked around to make sure two teenagers weren't perched within viewing distance laughing at me. Fucking punks.

Well hello there, everybody. This is Sidesho reporting to you live from Ryan Short's fabulously newly painted apartment ... oh, and also drunk as hail. He was supposed to wake up and drink more with me when I got home but that has proven unpossible. Me fail English?

So tonight I had planned on going out on account that I do not have to work tomorrow. RAWK! But then, lo and behold, I get a call from the callbox of my apartment and it is JennyCole and her mother. They had been at the Kaboom Town hoopla hosted by my gracious landlord and wanted to cool off. Okay, no problem. But then they managed to convince me to join them for the fireworks. More and more, as the years pass, I have found myself less and less interested in the traditional festivities dictacted by every holiday. I couldn't have cared less whether or not I saw fireworks. (Although fireworks do hold a special place in my heart since when I was little my parents used to tell me that the fireworks were in honor of my birthday.) So, I find myself on the top floor of a parking garage watching fireworks. In their defense, it was the best finale I have ever seen in my life. Probably 5 fireworks a second for about 5 minutes. RAD!

After that, we eat at a piss-poor restaurant inside Addison Circle and then I go home. Turns out, every fucking road in Addison is a parking lot. At this point, I've resolved myself to not go out, on account that I cannot leave the parking garage. A few IMs with Ryan Short later, I am on the road bound for downtown Dallas. It was rigoddamndiculous getting to the Tollway, but when I finally did, we were en route to JRs. Keith and Lauren and some girl named Katie that I met for the first time tonight (?) joined us. I managed to get drunk as hail between 12:30 and 2:00am. But that couldn't possibly be enough for me, right? Right?!

So I took Ryan Short home to his beatiful and newly painted apartment and proceeded to drink some more when disaster struck. We are out of cigarettes! Unacceptable when plastered. So he goes to bed and I walk my happy ass to the 24-7 Wally Mart nearby to get some. I talked to my lover Marshall the whole way there. That was fun since I haven't talked to him in 4-eva, and he claims to have blonde hair now. So anyway, I bought some squares, as Joseph would call them, and then walked home to find Ryan - surprise - passed the fuck out and me drinking alone.

So there we are. By my records, I have made zero grammatical mistakes. You're more than welcome to double check that assertion. You'll notice that when I'm drunk I just ramble; I don't skimp on the important stuff. Please don't forget that my birthday is on Wednesday. No one that I know of has made any plans for me, so I think I'm going to take Thursday off of work and go out Wednesday with Andrew. I'll definitely keep you all posted on that. Later sk8ers!

Well I'm back in College Station for a couple of days taking a sabatical from the holiday cheer of Plano. I was there for 3 days and that was enough for me. The first thing I did was put in my fake lip ring for when I first arrived. My mother went absolutely ballistic over it so I immediately had to reveal the joke whereas I had planned on wearing it all day. That kinda let some of the air out of my balloons, but it was still funny.

The next big fight was when I dared to walk down the stairs with my fauxhawk rawkin. My mother blew another gasket. She sure doesn't know how to pick her battles. Its not like we had company or anything, I was just going to sit around the house. So that was fun. I went upstairs and played guitar until my brother came home and took me with him to B&N. Oh speaking, the big news, I am going to be an uncle. Rachel, Stephen's wife, produced a couple sonogram pictures of the baby in her tummy. Thats exciting for us, even though she won't be able to participate in the booze cruise.

On Christmas we didn't exchange gifts, which, I gotta tell you, was the best Christmas I ever had. No shopping, no worrying, no wrapping, no fighting crowds ... just a family gettin together to play cards and drink liquor. I had my first taste of Courvoisier, and second, third, fourth, and fifth. I'd have to say I was a big fan. We played some Oh, Hell with everybody, ate some desserts with family friends and then went to bed.

The next day I went to see JennyCole and her family. Thats always fun. Then I went downtown to hang out with Ryan Short. We rode the rails to the Angelika Theater ... a new experience for me, v. classy. Then we ate at the cafe and saw 21 Grams. Worst movie ever ... don't go see it. Even though the movie was awful, I had a wonderful time. The next morning I woke up and drove home. And here I am. I spent last night drinking Coronas and Keystones with Josh 'n Tommy cause there was nothing else to do and nowhere else to go. It was fun.

Just thought I would fill you all in since I've been rather sparse in the updates in comparison to usual. I will be leaving tomorrow for the cruise and you won't hear from me until after the new year, so I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful new year full of drunken spirits and sloven kisses. Cheers!

Yesterday I went to see Dr. Stephen Hawking give a lecture on Gödel and the end of Physics. It was really cool. I was surprised at how many jokes he threw into his lecture. For instance, he started off by apologizing for his voice, since he knew his accent was not exactly Texan. Then he went on to say something about how he holds the same prestigious chair in physics once held by Isaac Newton, only back then, the chair was not motorized. That guy can really cut it up, I tell you. I also got to be like 2 feet away from him before the show cause he kinda mingled in the lobby for a while. Now that Einstein is gone, I find comfort in other great minds to console me.

I went to the lecture with Keith, Burns, Joseph, AllieD, Jamie, and my friend JennyCole from Plano. She just flew in that day to see Stephen Hawking cause she's like his biggest groupie. Anyway, the lecture was really interesting, he's an incredible speaker despite not having a voice. He really knows how to explain these abstract, incredibly involved and difficult concepts so the layperson can at least begin to understand them. I'm really glad I got to go.

Since Jenny flew here, she really has no way to get back to Plano. I said I would take her but since my parents are out of town anyway, there's really no point in going there. So instead, I'm taking her to Austin today. We're gonna hang out for a couple of days and then she's going to Greyhound it home. It should be fun since I've only been to Austin twice, and never really gotten to hang out in the city. Pearl and Matt Pakes from high school said they would take me out tonite to have real fun since Jenny doesn't do anything fun like clubbing or drinking. Should be interesting. Anyway, I'll be back Tuesday, but will have my cell if you need to get a hold of me. Hope you're all having a terrific Spring Break.

Too bad disgruntled reader won't be around to read this. Something new! And just for all my loyal Sidesho-Viewers. A lot has happened, but I am going to try and summarize it into just a few paragraphs. First, we have to start off with Ms Allison's 22nd birthday! Happy Birthday Allison! We had such a crazy night that night. We started off partying at home and then went to Northgate, where I realized I did not have my ID because I gave it to Ryan the night before to buy drinks for 2 people. So I was SOL until Ryan could make it up to Northgate. So I chilled at and had a sub from New York Sub. Tres good. That night was the night of chuggin, I dare say. We started off at home with Flaming Dr Peppers and Jäger Bombs, and proceeded to Northgate for a massive amount of shots, Flaming Dr Peppers and Saki Bombs. After the Saki Bombs they gave us some raw crab to munch on. It was so damned good that I had to go get some for lunch the other day.

Other than that, school is going well. I had a big test today that I wasn't all too happy with. I knew everything there was to know, but just fucked up and forgot some stuff on the test. And it wasn't like I was sitting there wracking my brain trying to remember, I just straight up forgot to include it. Thats what sucks about it. I left the test thinking I had a 100 and the more I think about it, now I'm expecting like an 80. Ohh well, at least I have an A in chemistry. Boo yah. I'm making an A in a freshman level course ... something I've never ever done before.

So I have one meeting tomorrow and then Spring Break is upon us. I think I'll spend most of my time lounging about and working on projects. On Saturday I am going to listen to Stephen Hawking give a lecture on campus. I'm really stoked about that. My friend JennyCole from Plano is coming up to see him. She's the biggest Hawking fan ever. I don't think she ever misquotes him, but she does like him. I was also supposably gettting a ticket to Peter Paul & Mary from mi padre, but he just called tonight and said the show was totally sold out. He's gonna see if he can't get a couple tickets on cancellations, but I'm not getting my hopes up. That totally sucks, that concert would have rawked.

Anyway, I'll be in College Station for the majority of the Spring Break. Jenny is flying here, and I may give her a ride home, even though my parents are like gone for the week or something. And I might go see Kevin again if I can't convince him to come here. Other than that, its calculators, mobile platforms, and DUT test plans for yours truly. Hope everyone has a crazier Spring Break than I!

indite (in-DYT) verb tr.

To write or to compose.