The other night when Allison was spending the night I had a dream that was upsetting enough that I decided to come get on my computer and type out what had happened. In case you don't know, I've diagnosed myself with both insomnia and sleep apnea, so when I finally get tired enough to fall asleep, I never really hit REM, which makes for a plethora of fucked up dreams. This is what I typed out at 4am when I woke up:

i was walking along the street when there was this bright light that i fell into
i woke up and i was a soldier on the battle field
when the commanding officer asked me who i was i said 'david fisher' but since i had no ID i was arrested for lying
i was in jail and i was asking all kinds of questions about where i was and what was going on
thommi was in jail
i finally discerned that i had fallen into a wormhole and woken up 17 years later at the age of 40
i called matt pakes from jail and asked 'are you 40' and he was like 'wow haven't heard from you in forever, yeah im 40'
so now i'm freaked out
start the fragmented nonsequitor portion
edward spencer was a doctor
my apartment was no longer mine
i got onto my old screen name though
i was excited that i had 17 years worth of movies to watch
i looked in the mirror and saw my face at the age of 40
i asked a lot of questions about everything that had gone on
they were upping the quota of stem cells that were produced
drugs had been completely irradicated
i started to think maybe this wasn't so bad, i had skipped some boring ass parts of life
i talked to keith at work, he used the same phrase he used to use 17 years earlier about wanting me to come work again and he hated working with idiots
he got me my job back at TAC
my cell phone still worked
my parents called and left a voicemail
i realized they'd been calling me every year on the day of my disappearance
my mother kept repeating 'i told myself i wouldn't do this, i told myself it wouldn't be this hard'
she was crying
i called our old house number hoping it would be the same
she answered
i couldn't speak, the enormity hit me
there was no passage of time for me but her son had gone missing for 17 years
my mouth went dry
'its david'
she angrily, hopefully, emotionally replied 'what?'
'its david' i said again as my voice cracked in tears
'oh my god'
'mother its me david!' ... i woke up speaking these words aloud and crying

Way to go, "Amer-ca," you really did it this time. My first go at American democracy has been met with sweeping defeat ... Bush was elected for the first time to serve his second term, and the Republickins have increased their influence in both the House and the Senate. So far, in the first two days of Bushito's second term, nothing of note has changed. Maybe it's because Jorge is on vacation at Camp David (big shocker there). I think if this trend of nothing changing or happening continues, that would be the best case scenario for the next four years. Any changes that Bush makes -- fiscal, political, legal, constitutional, moral, environmental, global, you-name-it-al, will certainly be a major step backward that will take time in the future to correct.

I think it's shrewd of him to reach out to Kerry supporters and call for a newfound unity in the country. Just about as shrewd as it was to couple votes on banning gay marriage to call out the evangelical voters in important state. Oh, that reminds me... to those voters who elected to ban gay marriage in those 11 states: Fuck you too!

Okay, after this picture, I'm done making commentary. I had an away message today that said something to the effect of, "What do you think? Canada or Australia?" It was by far the most responded to away message I've ever had. Looks like a lot of us are joining the hypothetical exodus. Keith gave the best arguments for Australia including cold Canadian weathers, fat Canadians, hot Australians, tanning, and American booze and cigarettes. True, we can get American booze and cigarettes in America, but we can also get them in Australia. I'm convinced! Edward sent me a link to this picture. I went ahead and linked back to the website where I stole it from just to be nice. Not that all of you wouldn't immediately recognize that I didn't make it since jebus is capitalized.

Tomorrow I'm going to the most worthless state in the union: Oklahoma! My sister is all impregnito and wants me to visit her. I've been promising for a long time that I would so I finally have to make good on it. I have to take my mom's car too so I can pick up a treadmill for my parents. I really don't like driving any car other than my own, especially on road trips, so I resisted the idea. My mom said, "Why? Because you can't smoke in my car?" and my response was, "Fuck, I didn't even think of that. Fuck." It should be a fun time though, my sister is pretty cool. Then next weekend its off to College Station to see Burns and Lauren dunk their rings. Plus, Kevin will be there! Yay! Later sluts, now go sit in the corner and think about what you've done ... for the next four years.

I honestly never really thought that I had a problem with spending money. I always just figured I could kind of stop whenever I needed to. Wrong! Now that I am using my checking account for everything (I cut my beloved credit card into 3 pieces ... I have one, Allison has one, and Tommy has one) and have an opporitunity to watch the expenditures accumulate, I realize just how ridiculous my spending habits are. This weekend alone I managed to spend 200 dollars ... and I have nothing to show for it. That's like almost a pair of pants I could have had, blown away on food and booze. Alas, I disciplined myself by going to Pier 1 and buying the coolest little tea candle holder. I need some ambience for when I yogate.

Although I have to admit that all the money I spent this weekend was well worth it because I was joined by my old, dear friend, Edward Spencer. I haven't seen him in a couple of years, but the fact that we've known each other for roughly 15 years allows for such gaps. He came in on Saturday evening, we ran around buying booze and food, and then headed to Tommy's for a pre-party. The pre-party ended up being attended by Tommy, Edward and I, so it wasn't much of a party. Then we went to Halo and drank a whole bunch. Edward's like in medical school or something, so he's not used to doing this every night like we do. But I think he had fun. The after-party at Tommy's was out of control ... I heard the cops came around 5:30 and told everyone to leave. Whateeeeever. The next afternoon, we dragged out of bed, Edward went back to Houston, and I took a nap.

I put my John Denver video on while I was sleeping and when I dozed off, the tape ended, rewound automatically and then the VCR shut off. As it turned out, when the VCR shut off, there was all this stuff about a SuperBull or something. Who woulda thought. I wanted to make some Wolf Sauce, a recipe for queso I got from BreakfastParade, so I went to the decimated grocery store, bought some ingredients and then took the crockpot over to Tommy's. James came over and we all ate the Wolf Sauce, which was delicious, but I forgot to turn off the crockpot so by the time we checked, the cheese was blackened and disgusting. So much for leftovers. I would comment on the game, but the portions of it that we did watch, I pretty much slept through. I don't really even like basketball, as most of you know.

On a final note, I've decided that I'm not going to answer my phone anymore. I have begged. I have pleaded. I have harangued, but people still call me just to see whats up and try to hold my attention for long phone conversations. Since nothing I can do can make you all stop, and nothing you can do can keep me from feeling like ants are crawling out my eyes if the conversation lasts more than 30 seconds, this is the only viable solution. Just leave me a voicemail and I'll call you right back. That way I can see what you want before hand. And a "Hey its me, call me back" doesn't count. Thats what a missed call means. Sorry to have to do this. Talk to you all later (MAYBE HA).