I cannot tell you how much satisfaction my new job brings me. I feel like I have actual responsibilities with actual challenges being "managed" by an actual manager. It's pretty fun to look forward to work every day for a change. And to only work 8 hours a day. And to ride the Vespa every day since I won't be required on any construction sites. I just couldn't be happier.

It's also freed up my weekends completely for revelry. I always love it when drunken meandering leads you to random fun. Last weekend Daniel and I found ourselves in the back of a horse-drawn carriage, surrounded by xmas lights, drinking red wine. We went all around the neighborhood zig zagging through buildings, even stopping off at a bar to get topped off with some wine to-go. I must admit we were merely along for the ride while our crazy neighbors made it all happen, but still it was good to be out and about every so slightly breaking the law to turn a good time into a great time. I wanted Daniel to take off on the horse bareback through the park after we watched him get unsaddled, but that probably wasn't as good of an idea as I thought it was right at that moment.

I also have signed on with a new personal trainer at the gym. He's this guy we kind of know from the neighborhood who is giving us a really good deal so we're gonna train 2 or 3 times a week depending on how we like it. Gotta get in shape for St. Thomas.

Did you know we are going to St. Thomas in June -- which is going to be amazing. Then it's off to San Diego in August to watch Owen get married. EEEEEEEE!!1! Then in October we're going to Vegas because we have floor seats to Kylie Minogue's first every North American tour. Couldn't be more excited about that. My dad even got us two free hotel rooms in Vegas with his timeshare for me and my friends. Suck on that.

Sorry about the lack of updates. It'll probably stay this way for a while, I'm completely unmotivated to blog. Maybe I should start twittling or whatever.

By g*d, I think I've done it. I am about to head to the gym to run a measly 3 miles leaving me a cake walk to victory tomorrow. I don't want to sound too confident because my knees could still blow out at the last minute, but I think its safe to say this is a victory. I'm pretty excited ... about never running again.

I'm also excited about drinking some of my home brew on Saturday. I put all 50 bottles in the fridge last night so they'd be nice and cold by the time we were ready to drink them. Serious party time.

So my home office is coming along nicely. I ordered my second monitor when it went on sale last week. I originally had planned on having 3 22 inch monitors, but I think for now 2 will be enough. It's not just enough desktop space, its damn near too much. I can barely mouse over from one side to the other without picking up the mouse halfway in between to get more traction. Not to mention the physical size of the monitors. I don't know if there's any way that 3 could even fit on the desk that I have. It is an impressive sight though. So impressive I think I'll post a picture for you. Catch you skillets on the flip side ... deeerunk. Peace.

What a wonderful Febrehabruarv it's been so far. Without any dietary restrictions, the transition has been pretty seamless. I could most definitely go for a beer after the week I've had, but that temptation will be easy to avoid. The only hard part is that I have a bathtub full of beer bottles containing the most delicious brew you've ever tasted.

Saturday night Daniel and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary that just so happens to coincide with the onset of Febrehab. So we always do it up right. We had an outrageous meal of tenderloin, Chilean sea bass, ahi tuna, and lobster, accentuated with many "very, very, very dirty Grey Goose martinis with just a *splash* of vermouth and 3 blue cheese stuffed olives" (write that down). We got home feeling rather toasty and decided to pop open a few of the homebrew beers that I bottled a week prior. They weren't technically aged to fruition just yet but we figured what the hell. AND IT WAS SO GOOD. I'm not just saying that because I brewed it. It might be the best beer I've ever had. I can't wait to try it when its fully aged and chilled and everything. We were drinking it straight from the bathtub. So March 1st everyone come on by and I'll let you have one. I fully intend to brew again.

Then the physical challenge began. I am quite pleased to announce that I have gone running every day so far. This whole 4 miles a day bullshit is nearly impossible. I ran myself sick the second day and had to back off a little the third but now I'm back on pace. I have gone a total of 18.94 miles since Sunday and have no intention of slowing down. I have my progress charted in Excel and I know what I need to average every day for the rest of the month to meet my 100 mile goal and it is daunting. There's no way I'm taking a day off and raising that average.

Every muscle in my body hates me and my knees -- I think -- are about to fall off. But I'm still going strong. Anybody out there participating?

Yesterday morning I awoke with a strange desire to brew my own beer. It's been in the back of my head for a year ever since I brewed some apple cider for Thanksgiving '08, but I can't really say what brought it to the forefront. Never being the one to back down from another potentially disastrous project, I set out to the Homebrew Headquarters in Richardson. They have everything you need there as well as several employees who are MORE than willing to help you out with any questions you may have. Go check them out some time.

So I brought home an Australian Pale Ale. Trey has made it twice and his beer has been fantastic, so I figured why mess with a good thing. And I got some dextrose corn sugar because its more easily fermentable than table sugar. And then I got a bag of light malt extract. That's new, Trey never used that, so hopefully my beer will be way better than his. The can of Australian Pale Ale was actually a thick, molasses like syrup that contained all the hops and barley and some sugars. Adding more sugar = more alcohol, so I didn't mind supplementing.

Mix and boil. That's about the only step after sanitizing everything. And sanitizing requires little more than a bleach water soaking for everything involved. My coworker who is a master brewer once told me, sanitation is important, don't skimp on that step ... but also, bear in mind that people used to brew beer in animal skins over open fires with river water, so don't sweat it too much. Who knows how good their beer (or mead) tasted, but they still succeeded in getting drunk. And isn't that just the whole point?

So I made Daniel stand and stir while I was finishing rinsing the bleach off of everything. My little bitty pot started to boil over -- which we were prepared for -- so as it boiled, we scooped it into another bowl and were planning on boiling the wort in two stages. Pretty stupid, but feasible. So I'm in the bathroom rinsing when I hear, "OH NO!" Daniel was stirring with a plastic spatula and when he pulled it out, it no longer existed. The fucking thing had melted down to a stub. As Keiff later pointed out, the only portion remaining was the part stamped with "Caution: Not Heat Resistant." So there we were with a bowl full of cold wort and a pot full of hot wort and a heaping helping of melted plastic. Down the sink it went as I rushed to my car to speed to Homebrew Headquarters before they closed. And I bought another batch of ingredients ... and a 20 quart stock pot.

The second time, Keiff came over to help and it went rather smoothly. We boiled the wort for 15 minutes until it got this really nice, dark caramel color. Then we cooled it down as best we could in a sink of ice, added 4 more gallons of spring water and poured it into the fermenting bucket. I measured the temperature to be right at 80°F which is pretty ideal for the yeast, so I pitched them in. I was worried about them because they weren't bubbling by the time we went to bed, but this morning, they're burping away. I'm so excited. Keiff wants to make a batch now and I told him we could use my equipment and take turns buying ingredients. In a few weeks, we'll bottle, which is also pretty easy with the equipment I'll be borrowing.

And then it'll be Febrehabruarv. Double-edged sword there. Sure, I won't be able to drink the beer I just worked so hard to produce. But, the beer will also continue to improve with age. You have to wait about a week after bottling so the secondary fermentation in the bottle can carbonate the liquid. But they say if you wait up to a month it'll be worlds better. So that's just what we'll do. Beer tasting party at my house, March 1st. Who's in?

I do hope that 2009 has found you well. I've certainly had a helluva start. My two week long vacation is ending tomorrow and I just don't know how I am going to cope with it. I've had a good couple of weeks though.

First, my entire family came into town. I currently have 5 nieces and 2 nephews, and was just informed that there's another on the way! It was really fun to play with all of them and give them crappy gifts that they loved. Although, I will admit that the Hannah Montana electric guitar I got for my niece Kelsey was pretty rocking, even though it's already broken. So we did the whole xristmas thing and I spent more than a few nights driving between Addison and Allen to my parents new ridiculously large house. I got wine from my brother in the gift exchange and now the wine fridge is respectably stocked. And I got the new Nikon Coolpix camera from my parents. I highly recommend this little gadget. It is so freaking advanced. I guess when you only buy one camera every decade, they're bound to improve slightly.

The other reason everyone came was for my parents surprise 35th wedding anniversary. We'd been planning it for like a year (I helped a little) and had some extended family and a lot of old family friends hiding in the banquet room at Sneaky Pete's in Lewisville. Then when my parents came in with my sister for what they thought was an oddly dressy, far drive to Lake Lewisville just for dinner, everyone yelled HAPPY ANNIVERSARY and the merriment proceeded. DJ iMernex even DJed the party which was pretty fun. There was "free" beer and wine so I think everyone managed to have a good time and I know my parents really appreciated it. And I got the buffet leftovers so Daniel and I ate chicken and roast beef for a week.

Then we did xristmas with Daniel's family over at our apartment. His mom made filet mignon wrapped in puff pastry with some sort of filling. It was really good. We were in charge of vegetables so we served leftover green beens and potato wedges from the anniversary party. Waste not. Then we did a little gift exchange. His dad gave me a really cool shirt and a fedora that I adore. I think his sister helped pick it out, but it's pretty bangin. And I gave his brother guitar picks, guitar strings, and a guitar strap. And he was perfectly gracious even though I thought he might be like, "I don't have a guitar, you dick." But then I surprised him with the guitar I had wrapped up in the other room. It wasn't easy getting all that on the budget that was set but I managed to do it. g*d, I love pawn shops now.

Then there was New Year's Eve. We had a bunch of people over. There was a lot of food, dancing, tons of booze. We really had a good time. Gotta tell you though, it's that time of the year when Febrehabruarv starts sounding really good to me. I was thinking that maybe I wanted to do that master cleanse again, but then I read my blog from last year and decided against it. All the descriptions of sleepless nights, heart palpitations, and incessant heartburn jogged some memories I'd obviously repressed. Maybe in another year. I think I'll hearken back to the febrehabs of yesteryear when it was easy and fun, good clean living.

I think that brings us up to speed. Happy 2009, bitches. See you around..

Can I please tell you about my new favorite game -- Scene It? Seinfeld Edition. I'd been thinking about buying it ever since the first commercial came on TV, but I had no real reason to get up and go. Until one night when me and Keiff were sitting around drinking beers, bored, and I was like, yup, let's go to WalMart.

The reason this game is so fun is because its kind of like playing Trivial Pursuit. But instead of questions like, "In 1934, this Olympic curler became the first woman to win two silver medals," they have questions like, "What was Elaine referring to when she told Jerry, 'You can read the paper through the whole thing.'" And then you feel smart because during the hours each day that you could be reading and learning, expanding your mind and working toward the betterment of all of humanity, you're vegged out on the couch with a tempurpedic neck pillow watching syndicated episodes of Seinfeld you've already seen 12 times. Oh wait. Maybe that's just me.

Then again, the real reason I may like it so much is that I am currently undefeated. I'm not saying I'm undefeatable, because it's been real, real close a few times. But I always seem to luck out on the question for the win. The other night I was so desperate to play that I made Daniel play with me. Just the two of us. It wasn't really as much fun as it is with 3 or more. There's less of a penalty for getting something wrong because it'll just be your turn next anyway. But it was still pretty funny. The clips are all hilarious.

So if you're looking for a holiday party game this year, and you watch more TV 5pm-6pm and 10pm-11pm than any of your friends, I would highly recommend some Scene It? Seinfeld.

P.S. If this isn't the blog to display the Sidesho Seinfeld logo I made 8 years ago, I don't know what is.

Last weekend Daniel's old coworker was having a surprise birthday party. So we went over to her house around 8pm where her friends were setting up for a party. They'd gone all out with banners and streamers, plates of food, High School Musical novelty pom-poms ... I mean this party was NICE. And she came and we surprised her -- you shoulda seen her face, that's the best part -- and then we all just hung out and drank.

I was sitting on the porch when someone asked me if I could please try to blow up one of those long skinny balloons. Having played trumpet a decade ago, I have monstrously powerful lungs. So after nearly tearing my cheek skin, I got it blown up and tied off. Then I started twisting it around on itself pretending I knew what I was doing. What I ended up with was a big vagina with a penis penetrating it. Not exactly kid-friendly balloon art, but I was pretty pleased with myself. Considering it was the first balloon animal I had ever made, I didn't mind it being a beaver.

Later on we were standing in the kitchen and found the balloon pump that came with the balloons. So I blew another one up. And I looked at it. Thought about it for a second. And then one, two, three, twists later, I produced a giraffe much like the one pictured. All of Daniel's friends were like "what the hell." So Daniel told me that they all think I'm good at everything. Mostly because I pursue a host of interests, all with varying degrees of success. But I told Daniel that if they ever wanted to see me fail miserably at something, I would be happy to challenge any of them to a game of Horse on the basketball court. Because part of looking like you're good at everything is never being seen doing something you're horrible at. And that's my lesson to you for the day. If something is hard... quit. Peace, I'm out of here.

I am home again. After another full day of travel I finally landed back in Dallas a whole 3 hours earlier than I was supposed to. As was the theme of the traveling this time, my original flight home was canceled by the time I was ready to get on it. I got to see Daniel and I gave him his new pants (underwear) and lounge pants (pajama pants) from Peter Alexander, a poncy (fancy) little underwear shop in downtown Sydney. He looks awful smart in them. And my brother was in town for his last day of a business conference, so he took me to Kenny's! What a welcome home!

During my last week in Sydney, Al and I had some fun adventures. First we both went to get our hair did. I love the chick that cut my hair. She went to town on it. Allison called it classic Aussie metro. Then she got her hair dyed back to her natural color and got a real sassy short do. She's traveling for the next 13 months through lots of countries that don't appreciate blondes to any degree, so this haircut should last her through it. After we got all dolled up, we went to Al's leaving do (party) at the Fire House Hotel (pub (bar)) in North Sydney. She has lots of wonderful friends. But it was weird how they want back and forth and around the table and every single one of them was like "Well, it's just like when I lived in the UK for 6 months prior to my year of traveling around southeast Asia." And another would chime in, "Oh yeah, when I lived in the Carribean, I spent a year touring before I got my residency in Australia." And I'm just like who are you transient people? All of them have been all over the world, lived all over the world, and I'm just like Addison! rules!

But it was a really fun party. Two of the girls were especially fun and they called Daniel early in the morning while he was at work and tried to convince him they were Kylie and Danni Minogue. Even tho the accents were pretty authentic, he didn't fall for it. Shucks.

My last day there we took a guided tour of the Hunter Valley (the Aussie Napa Valley). We went to like 5 or 6 different cellar doors and drank some very good wine. I ended up buying 4 bottles, I think, but we drank some before I left. I brought home 3 bottles and some aged goat cheese from some Hunter Valley goats. So ridiculously good. And the Shiraz is just ... huge. I can't even explain it. That was major fun. So we did that, picked up Noodle Star take away (to go) and ate it with the shiraz. And then the next day I left.

So here I am. I do not work until next Tuesday, nor do I intend to check my work email or answer my work phone until then. So if anybody wants to hang out and tan or something, let me know. It's summer again for me and I intend to take advantage this week. Laaaaaaaaate.

They say you don't know a city until you walk it. "They" being the one and only travel book I've ever read that was left here for me by Erin and Jezza. So when Allison needed a day to herself to get some stuff accomplished, I decided to set out on foot. Armed with only a basic layout map of the city, I set out heading south. Allison lives in North Sydney and I wanted to go to South Sydney, the separation being the harbour. So I got to walk over the Harbour Bridge. That was one of my goals before leaving. It only took me about 45 minutes to get to Circular Quay where the Operahouse and all the touristy stuff is. My original plan was then to figure out the bus system and see the rest of the city. But I am just not cut out for buses. The first one I wanted flew by because I didn't know you had to flag them down. And the only other one I tried the guy yelled at me because he wasn't going where I wanted to go. So I was like fuck that and hopped in a cab.

He took me down to Oxford Street in Paddington. It's where all the fancy boutique shopping is. I walked up and down the street, stopped to have some lunch, but never really shopped. Everything was really expensive but not necessarily Aussie by nature. And if I ever feel like purchasing some expensive clothes, I can just do that in Dallas when I don't have to carry it through customs. So then at the complete opposite end of Oxford Street are all the gay bars, so I decided to just hoof it over there and check it out. And then Hyde Park was just on the other side, so I walked through there. And then Circular Quay was just up the street from there. And then just over the bridge. So I ended up walking an obscene distance, nearly 5 hours of walking minus the cab ride. But it's true what they say, I totally feel like I know the city now.

That night Allison and I revisited Oxford Street and got shitcanned. But on the way I told her, "Yeah I found a couple nice places we could go to. But it seems like all the places I thought looked good were actually hotel bars." And she laughed. Apparently in Australia a "hotel" is a bar. Some law forever ago said that if you served alcohol you also had to have places to sleep, so they became one in the same long ago and now it doesn't mean hotel anymore, it's just synonymous with bar. Before we went out, we stopped for some dinner and I said, "This place is awesome. It's so nice but the entrees are so cheap." And she laughed again. Apparently in Australia an "entree" is an appetizer and a "main" is an entree. That's what's so fun about being here. It's all in English so I'm not totally lost, but it's just wrong enough to keep me guessing.

After walking around Sydney for an entire day, visiting several museums, landmarks, botanical gardens, hotels and restaurants, I really felt like I knew a lot about the city. And it made me realize how pitifully little I know about my own town. I couldn't begin to name one restaurant in the West End. I've just always assumed I didn't want to. But it's stupid that I know more about every city I've visited in the world than I do about Dallas. So I made a decision. When I get back, I'm going to take a tour of Dallas. I'm going to buy a travel book, get a hotel downtown, walk all over the place, see the grassy knoll. All that shit. I'm not even sure I know what the travel books will say to do! It won't be easy convincing locals to join me in my wide eyed camera toting tour of downtown Dallas, but we're going to do it by g*d. Who's with me?!

The first time that I experienced jet lag was in Sweden 3 years ago. No matter what I did, every night I would lay awake through the night staring at the ceiling wide awake. I wouldn't start to get tired until about 6am, which was right around when I had to get up and go to work. It was awful. No matter how tired I was or how much I attempted to exhaust myself -- either through exercise or booze, I couldn't sleep at night. It took a full week for me to adjust.

I'm experiencing it again. Only this time, the opposite. Every night here around 8pm, I get excessively tired. A few nights I've managed to stay up until 10 or 11, but not past that. A couple nights I've fallen asleep at like 8. I tried taking one of my sleeping pills to encourage me to sleep in a little bit thinking that would help. That night I slept 13 hours and stayed in bed until 10, but it didn't help. It's just so completely independent of how much sleep I'm getting. I'm just prone to this anomaly known as jet lag. I'm hoping it will clear up soon. I'm going to try a power nap today. Because we have going away parties to attend this weekend and it won't be very good if I'm sleeping in the corner.

But I've still had plenty of time during the day to do some really fun stuff. Yesterday we went to the zoo and saw kangaroos, wallabies, koalas and dingos. But maybe my favorite part wasn't the animals, but the expansive view of Sydney Harbor from across the water. It really is a beautiful city. After the zoo we took a ferry over to the opera house. It was pretty crazy to be standing on the steps touching this super iconic landmark. The whole white part of it is actually like regular sized white tiles. I had no idea. So Allison and I sat at the opera house bar, had a cocktail, and watched the sunset. It was so wonderful.

The best part about coming and staying with Allison is that I'm getting a good balance between touristy activities and the locals. One night we went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of ingredients to cook a traditional Paesta. It's actually something we made up on our car trip home from Jervis Bay, but we decided to make it a reality. I remember when my grandmother used to make us a paesta on the holidays. The best thing about a paesta, though, is how it brings together family and friends. It ended up being a terrifying blend of vegetables, pasta, bacon, chicken, heaps of ancho chili sauce, and a few spoonfuls of an Aussie blend of Ranch dressing. It's a good thing that everything goes with ranch. Despite the improvisational nature of the dish, it actually turned out pretty good. So good that Dom had 4 servings -- and nobody is THAT polite, so I think he really enjoyed it.

I think today we're going to take it easy. We are going to get some acupuncture done because neither one of us have ever done it and Daniel always tells me how amazing it is. Aw, the only thing that could make this trip better is if Daniel was here with me. I miss him. Anyway, we're resting up today because tomorrow we're going on a vineyard tour of the Hunter Valley. So it's going to be a helluva day and we want 24 hours of sobriety prior to that. Should be interesting.

Our annual 3rd of July KaboomTown extravaganza, this year called Shish-Ka-Boom, was a huge success. I got off work pretty early and hit the grocery store on the way home. I picked up some beef shish-ka-bobs that were already skewered with vegetables. So much easier than trying to figure out the process on my own. And as an added bonus, the bargain expired meat bin is never without a few shish-ka-bobs, so a couple packages of them were half off -- just because they'd turned grey!

Then for dessert, I bought a huge thing of strawberries and a Sara Lee pound cake. I cut the strawberries in half and cut the cake into little cubes. Then I put them on bamboo skewers. I whipped some fresh cream with sugar and vanilla. And made a chocolate ganache out of Giardelli chocolate chips, two shots of real espresso, a teaspoon and a half of vanilla, and a little bit of fresh cream. I sprinkled the plate of dessert shish-ka-booms with a few random blueberries just so it would be red, white and blue. It was so delicious. I really think Ina might have approved of this spread.

Then we all watched the spectacular fireworks and got drunk. Not a single fight this year! So proud of all of our friends. Now tonight its time to switch modes to birthday celebration. My birthday is tomorrow so I arranged a little get together at a bar here in Addison. I purposely didn't put and RSVP thing on it because I'd rather just go out there with Daniel and drink a few beers and see who shows up. I didn't want to get a bunch of positive RSVPs and then be left at the bar alone crying. Set the bar low and be pleasantly surprised if it rocks. That's my new mantra.

So anyway, if you want to come, give me a ring and I'll disclose the secret location.

After 3+ years of all talk, I am finally going to do it. I just booked my non-refundable 22 hour trip to the land of Oz. On August 14th, I will lift off from Dallas ... and on August 16th touch down in Sydney, Australia. I wonder what TV is like on the other side of the planet. I can't WAIT to find out. Do you think they have DVR? Do you think they call it DVR? Do you think it records backwards?! This is going to be so fun. Oh and I might hit up a wine tasting or a zoo or an opera house while I'm in the neighborhood. But best of all, I get to see my lovely friend, the Allistralian on her home turf. I will be gone for two weeks returning on August 27th. Best part of the flight home is I touch down almost before I take off. I will bring news from the future.

After booking my ticket, I was kind of on a roll. Like you do. So I went and ordered my KitchenAid copper stand mixer for my birthday. Really it's a birthday present from Daniel, but we used my credit card to get it. It's going to take a week to get here, but I really excited about it. I'm going to whip cream to stiff peaks.

Man, I'm more excited right now than Evan on American Gladiators. Rocket is the best Gladiator. And he's my friend on Facebook. I love TV.

We just went to listen to Salsa in the park here in our neighborhood. Turns out I really don't like salsa music. I had fun last week but the band was much better. Oh and I was waaha-hay-hay-hay-sted. So it was sounding good. Tonight I exited early. I basically woke up in time to go listen and it's hot and the band was terrible and I wanted I wanted to sit on the TV and watch beers. So I came home.

Oh, last bit of news. KaboomTown is next week. Everyone's invited. This year we will serve various skewered meats and vegetables. As well as skewered pound cake and strawberries to dip in chocolate. I call it ... Shish-Ka-Boom. You should come. And then the 6th is my birthday again. But this year it falls on a Sunday, so on Saturday July 5th, I am having a little gathering at a bar here in Addison! if you would like to join me. That would be awesome. Czech you all on the flip side.

I just got back from a week in San Antonio. I was there to take a training class for work. It was from 8-5 every day in the hotel I was staying at next to the airport. Needless to say I was bored out of my gourd. I took this picture as I was checking out of my hotel room because I thought it rather succinctly summed up my entire trip. People in my training course were kind of laughing at me because I was eating each night at places like Papadeaux's and Applebee's. They thought I should get out and experience the local fare. But I was just like, c'mon, I'm from Dallas. It's not like San Antonio is a foreign country. If I managed to find something uniquely San Antonio it would just be a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place with meat, cheese, and tortillas combined in a variety of ways. So I opted to eat at places I liked, albethem chain restaurants, because it was free. And that made it special.

So I made it through the week with little incident. Last night Daniel and I went with JennyCole to see the new Sex and the City movie. It was fantastic. If you haven't seen it yet, you definitely should. We went to the Studio Movie Grill to watch it so we could get loaded at the same time. But ultimately, the same thing happened to me that always happens there. I end up having to pee so bad by the time the movie's over that I have a hard time sitting still. But I made it through. There was one thing about the movie that pissed me off. And it's not a spoiler, but if you don't want to know anything about the movie don't read this next part. So Charlotte adopted that little Chinese girl, right? And what did she name her? Lily. How many times have I said that I'm adopting a little Asian girl and naming her Lily because I want violin music while I eat? But I also always said that if I had another little girl, I would name her Rose. Not so much because of the obvious floral reference, but because I like the really old-timey names. Okay, so Charlottle has a baby and they name it Rose. So now if I ever by some fluke of nature have two daughters, and name them Lily and Rose, people will be like, oh yeah from Sex and the City. And that will piss me off. So I'm having my tubes tied.

In other news, the Allistralian came back to the states for a visit. She is leaving Australia soon and convinced me that it's now or never if I want to go visit her. So Daniel and I are going to Australia. For REAL this time. No joke. It'll probably be somewhere in the August range. It's gonna be a pretty baller ass vacation, but that's okay because those are the kinds of vacations we need to be taking. I'll keep you all posted on details of that. If anyone would like to go with, the more people we have the easier that 12 hour flight will be. Lemme know. Peace out.

Last night I tried my Kinoki Foot Pads for the first time. After a night of significant drinking, I decided their first test would be to draw my hangover out of my body while I slept so I would awake feeling refreshed. Daniel tried a pair too. An hour before bed we washed our feet in the bathtub and even ran a pumice stone on our soles to try and open up a path for toxins.

You open the pad, apply it to this big adhesive sheet and then stick the whole thing on the bottoms of your feet. We decided to put socks on over the pads so they wouldn't come off and that ended up being a good decision because they kind of leak. I immediately felt something. I'll grant you that I was drunk, but there was a tingling sensation. So I was gaining confidence that maybe they didn't do nothing. In the morning, my socks were a little bit brown from the Kinoki juice that leaked out. I wouldn't call it a confirmation, but I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would. I should have had a regular sized hangover, but it was less. So much so that I went to the grocery store and cooked us a really big breakfast of pancetta and fontina cheese omlette croissant sandwiches. You don't make up recipes that unless you've been revitalized in mind and body.

I have to say, though, that the biggest testimony to their effectiveness is that Daniel got up at 10:30 in the morning. A mere 8 hours after we had gone to bed. This is, like, at least 4 hours earlier than usual. I think they might work. The test will be to see if they get lighter and lighter as I use them. You can only use them every other night, so it will take me a while to get through the 5 remaining pairs of pads. But I'm hopeful.

Probably the most disturbing thing about these pads is their smell. They are brown and liquidy and leaking and make your feet tingle. But then you take them off in the morning and there is the overwhelming smell of barbeque sauce.  The fact that they look like barbeque sauce only stands to reinforce this olfactory conclusion. I threw my pads away but I am curious to compare the ingredient list against that of some A-1 and see how much they have in common. In the meantime, though, like I sometimes do, I decided to lend my advertising genius to Kinoki for free and put together this brand new marketing graphic for them.

Stand by for my final verdict, but I'm seriously undecided at the moment. Peace.

24 hours down, 672 more to go. Today was a breeze, mostly because I'm hardly the hard living party monster I used to be. I had a slight hangover after our anniversary dinner at Kenny's. A few tequila cocktails, a couple martinis, and half a bottle of wine rightfully should have KO'ed me for the day but I felt strangely good. Eating vegan was relatively easy since I had stuff on hand. Ever since last year, I've kept up eating vegan dishes -- just not exclusively. I really think this first week will be a breeze. Then the cleanse starts.

In other news, what the fuck is up with Dannon? Yes, Dannon, the yogurt company. Daniel first pointed it out to me a while ago but it's just gotten worse. They keep making shit up that sounds like Harry Potter spells. They might as well hire him as their spokesperson. I can just imagine some old black lady doubled over and a spritely little British kid busts in and yells, "Bifidus Regularis!"

Or the new one I just heard tonight. Some fat bitch has irritable bowel syndrome until Hermione screams, "L. casei Immunitas!" Remember when Aaron wouldn't stop talking about his irritable bowel syndrome? g*d, that was so gross.

Anyway, Dannon is so making this shit up. It doesn't even sound scientific, which is really the hallmark of a good invented term. Take "glycemic index" for example. I'm not saying anything about the yogurt one way or the other. I just think their marketing department is probably a bunch of douches. Peace out.

Happy New Year! I hope this post finds you all enjoying what's passed of 2008. I had a wonderful time here at home with a few friends. Daniel went and bought ridiculous amounts of streamers and balloons and we strung them up everywhere. At midnight we tore it all down and stomped on the balloons like crazy people. Then we drank lots of champagne and I went to bed fearing the ensuing hangover. But I lived to tell the tale, so I guess we can call that a win.

We also made it to the gym again this week. I was afraid that after the holidays and a real spotty workout regimen that I wouldn't be able to lift anything but I ended up adding 20 lbs to my bench press, so that was good. It was hard to get anything done though because of the dreaded influx of resolutioners. People that have never worked out a day in their life, but always decide that January 1st will be the magic switch they flip and get hot. They're easy to spot. They walk around aimlessly randomly working every muscle group. They have on BRAND new sneakers and matchy matchy track suits. They spend LOTS of time stretching only to get on a treadmill for 3 minutes before wandering off to something else. It really is annoying. So I just wanted to tell all of you resolutioners...

Give up now.

You're going to by March anyway, so why make the rest of us suffer for 2 months out of every year? If you find the gym to be an intimidating place that's because people that regularly inhabit it are making you feel unwelcome. We want you to leave so we can get back to our year-round routine. Now I'm not saying that I don't want resolutioners to exist. I just don't want them at the gym. Continue to go out and sign up for the 3 year membership because your dues help pay for nice things for the rest of us to use. Just don't come and hog the sauna.

So that's my public service announcement. If you're really concerned with getting in shape, then spend January and February getting your diet in line and walking around the block. That way you'll be ready in March to add in weight training and cardio and the gym won't be nearly as crowded as it is when you go once a year in January.

Last night we were watching Planet Earth with RyanShort. He's only seen the BBC version narrated by John Hammond, and we've always told him how much better Sigourney Weaver is. I think it was Ice Worlds that we were watching and they were showing a hawk swooping in to kill some ptarmagin. I decided to relate to another episode where Sigourney refers to hawks as the fighter jets of the bird world. Only, I was going to jazz it up by saying, "Hawks are the F-16s of the bird world." Only, I actually said, "Hawks are the F150s of the bird world." I'm such a tard. So we had a good laugh and made lots of comments in our best Sigourney voices like, "With their four wheel drive and extended cabs, hawks truly are the F150s of the bird world."

Maybe my head was a little bit out of it due to the pumpkin pie martinis I attempted to make last night. We had one at the Bacarat Bar in Bellagio and it was so delicious that I asked the waitress what was in it and she said vanilla vodka, goldschlager, and pumpkin pie puree. So I combined all 3 and it was just terrible. So I added more vodka. When that didn't work, I added more pumpkin. When that didn't work, I added milk. By now things were way out of hand. I checked the recipe on the back of the can of pumpkin puree and you're supposed to add evaporated milk and sugar. Derrrr. We totally forgot to sweeten it. Turns out, pumpkin out of a can is pretty disgusting. I always thought you just spooned that into a pie crust and ate it. Someone should invent that. But of course, I was out of sugar, so I made some simple syrup out of brown sugar, ladeled in a few heaping scoops of the resulting liquid and then, the now full pitcher, held a delcious holiday concoction. Unfortunately it was way to thick and filling so we each sipped half a glass and washed the rest down the drain. But now that I know what I did wrong, i think I could make it again much better just by adding sugar from the get go.

In other news, I'm officially writing a cookbook. Not for the inevitable fame and fortune that comes with it, but because I want to be a guest judge on Iron Chef America. And as far as I know, writing a cookbook is the best and fastest way to get there. How hard could it be? If you've known me for a while, you should be able to guess the title. I can't post it here though because I don't want it to get stolen from me.

And finally, today, I think we'll close with a one-liner. My parents got their free slip-resistant covers for their Wii remotes, affectionately known as Wii condoms. But they only got two, so we have two with condoms, two without. Stephen asked me if I needed one with a condom, but I didn't, so I put the strap around my wrist and said, "You know what I always say. If you've got a strap on, you don't need a condom."

Good night everybody!

Las Vegas was a blast, just like I knew it would be. Daniel knew that we were staying at the Bellagio for his graduation gift, but what he didn't know is that we had a deluxe lakeview suite on the corner and that chocolate covered strawberries and champagne were waiting for us when we got there. So that was a fun arrival. We looked out our windows and played with the electric drapes for a while before hitting the town. We mostly played Wheel of Fortune and Monte Carlo slot machines -- the two most popular ones with bonus spins possible. Neither of us lost as much money as we had planned on losing, so in that regard, we won. One night I even drank until I was wasted and the casino paid me $10 dollars to do it. If that isn't winning big, I don't know what is.

So that was our strategy. To try to drink all night and pay less than what we would have paid at the bar. Since a beer was anywhere from $6 to $8 at most bars, that really wasn't hard to do. Here's a couple helpful hints for any of you heading over to the desert. The first time the waitress comes around, tip her something good. $5 should do it, $10 if you're looking to get wasted. Then they'll take care of you by replacing every empty bottle with a full one. You might have to fuel the fire every few rounds with a few ones, just to keep her thinking she might get more money out of you once you get drunk. The other key factor is to make your money last a long time at the slot. The only effective way to do this is to not play. We would put money in, pull it once, light a cigarette, smoke the entire thing, talk to the waitress and the people next to us, finish a round, use the bathroom ... and then pull it again. Of course, naturally, you're going to get faster and faster as drink goes on, but that's where teamwork comes in and your partner should tell you to stop. We usually took turns, so one of us could slow the other down if we were getting low on our beer to gambling ratio.

One night Daniel took me out to a fancy dinner at Le Cirque. That's French for The Cirque. It's in the Bellagio and it's probably the nicest restaurant I've ever been to. Only 16 tables in a small room swaddled in tapestries and rich mohogany, and a view of the fountains. Tres chic. I had the rabbit symphony. A plate with a bunch of different preparations of rabbit. I am the worst vegan ever. The fun part was that when you walked in there was a huge terrarium with all the rabbits in it and I got to pick the one I wanted. (No, not really, but isn't it weird that it's acceptable to do with lobsters but the thought of doing it with bunnies is kind of offensive?) I was completely stuffed after a seafood medley, rabbit symphony, and a mango sorbet with coconut foam extravaganza for desert. It was an incredible meal, I highly recommend. Especially if you can get someone else to pay for you.

We also saw Blue Man Group, which was incredible. The first hour or so was just them staring wide eyed at each other and audience members while people laughed uncomfortably. Could have done without that. But the last 45 minutes were so badass that it totally made up for it. I would also highly recommend Blue Man Group. I'd tell you more, but I don't want to spoil it. If you're really curious, I'll tell you about it in person.

Our flight home was canceled and our new flight was about 6 hours later (during which I won $80, so not all bad) and then that flight was delayed about an hour. So getting home was a bit arduous. Especially since we were both ready to come home. Vegas is magickal and riotously fun, but I wouldn't recommend any more than 3 nights at a time. It gets tiresome of everyone you meet doing whatever they can to get their hands on your money. But we finally arrived home with little incident and promptly laid on the couch. And that concludes story time.

I've spent the past couple of days at my parents' house playing Wii and opening presents. I got a navigation system and an Art of Shaving kit and a mango slicer. Not a bad haul. I gave Daniel the T-qualizer shirt and he gave me Planet Earth, the entire season, AS narrated by Sigourney Weaver, the true version. I have some more to open on xristmas with Daniel's family so more on that after this. Peace.

Cider verdict: delicious. It's like a pear flavored apple wine. It's only mildly alcoholic but that works out alright because I like to drink lots and lots of it at a time. Bottling it was such a chore. The first day that it was freezing outside, I found myself sanitizing bottles in big tubs of water and rinsing them with a hose. I was wet and my hands were so cold that it was hard to work. We hooked it up to a big canister of compressed CO2 and attempted to force carbonation. It only worked slightly. Next time I'm going to give it like 4 days of carbonation instead of 20 minutes so it'll truly sparkle. But anyway, for a first try this is fantastic. I got three big crates of big bottles full, so I haven't rationed it at all. It's probably a third gone. Mmm, just talking about it is making me want a big glass of it.

Daniel and I got our first xristmas tree together the day after Thanksgiving. It's as tall as it could be in our apartment and flocked. Flocked, I learned, is what you call the trees that have been sprayed with white shit to make it look like snow. Then we wrapped it in blue LED lights and some color changing globes and a bunch of ornaments. I think it's really pretty. So pretty that I want to take a picture of it and post it on my website, but I'm too lazy. I'll do it later along with the pictures from Halloween.

Thanksgiving was good. We spent it at Daniel's parents' house. Grilled turkey and stuffing made with sausage and oysters. Delish. Then there was some tofu, natch, and a few other sides. I've never had a grilled turkey but it was fantastic. I want to try that some time. Grilling has never been my forte and I'm always intimidated to try it out in the courtyard, but maybe that should be a new years resolution for me.

Speaking of new years resolutions -- do me a favor and don't resolve to work out in the new year. If you haven't been doing it already, starting in January is the worst thing you can possibly do. Because every lard ass in the world starts going in January clogging up all the gym equipment for a good month or two before finally giving up like we all knew they were going to do from the beginning. So save yourself, and me, the trouble. You're welcome. This post sucked.

I started work on the bar this weekend. I think I'm going to extend my original construction schedule from two years to three. I went and bought a couple 8' sections of 2x2 pieces of wood (although I was already confused since the actual dimensions seemed like 1x1 to me). I managed to cut it to length using this big, mean looking power saw that my coworker lent to me. And I managed to get it up against the wall, level it out, and drill a pilot hole through it. I even got a screw into the wall to hold it up. I was feeling pretty good about myself. Until I started drilling a second hole and managed to rip the whole thing down. Apparently the screws I got were only long enough to go through the wood and about halfway through the drywall. So I guess I need longer screws.

I also got this stupid stud finder that beeps in different places and is indicating to me that the studs are about a half inch thick and spaced randomly anywhere from 6" to 12" apart. My little instruction booklet suggests that studs are always 1.5" thick and spaced 16" or 24". So I'm confused and worried that I'm going to drill through an electrical wire or a pipe or something. So I put everything back in the closet and shut the doors. I'll worry about it some other time. But seriously, does anybody know anything about this that could help me?

I would resume work next weekend, but I'll be in beautiful Playa del Carmen, Mex-i-co. My whole family is taking a five day all inclusive trip together. It should be really fun taking all the nieces and nephews to the beach. We only have two confirmed cases of serious distaste for sand ... and one that allegedly really likes the taste of sand. So it should keep us all moderately sober for some of the time. Too bad my base tan is hovering somewhere around eggshell right now, so I'm going to be employing some serious SPF the whole time.

The rest of this weekend was punctuated by drinking and downloading the entire Ace of Base album and dancing and laughing at Daniel for knowing every single word to every single song. I have this theory that everyone on earth likes Ace of Base. There are only varying degrees of how much you admit it. But you know and I know that when you're alone in your car and "The Sign" comes on, you be rockin and singing along. Wouldn't it just feel better to admit it?

I just went and looked at the gym here in Addison! Circle. It looks pretty nice and has the free weights I've been missing. I think I'm going to join but I have to see what Daniel thinks about it first. I might sign up anyway and just go there on days when he is in class late. My company will pay for me anyway. They invited me to come back and work out today and I should really take them up on it, but methinks I am too lazy. We shall see.

Last order of business, I sent out a MySpace invitation to my birthday party on Friday, July 6th. If you didn't get it or you aren't on MySpace, shoot me an email (sideshovid@sideshovid.com) and I'll give you the wheres and whens you so desperately desire.

This week I went to Seattle for the umpteenth time. Only this time was different. It was just a day trip. A 4 hour flight there and back is a little bit long for a day trip so I flew up Sunday afternoon and back Tuesday morning. It was such a beating. I worked 13 hours on Monday punctuated by a delightful variety of alcoholic beverages. If you ever find yourself in Seattle, I suggest the Pike Place Brewery (not exactly a well kept local secret) and Broadway Grill. Mmmm. Have the Broadway put some raspberry puree in your mojito. You won't be sorry.

I was nervous going up there because I've engaged in a lot of bravado lately about how I'm the best programmer in the world and the guy who originally programmed everything is incompetent and everyone who has tried to fix it in the past has been so dispassionate that it's no surprise nothing is working. So I told them I needed to start from a clean slate and reprogram the entire thing from scratch. Not exactly what you want to hear in an already-behind-schedule project. But surprisingly they agreed. So the pressure was on. As late as Wednesday the week before I was freaking out because I had nothing to show for my efforts but a handful of failed attempts. But I showed up with a completed program and at 5am Monday morning we downloaded and started testing it. No big deal, just billions of dollars on the line.

Do I even have to tell you that it worked perfectly? This is not going to be good for my ego. But, it will be good for my resume.

Have you seen my apartment yet? It you haven't you need to swing by. We'd love to have you. I'm taking today off on comp time for traveling Sunday so that spells out a 4 day weekend for yours truly. Party every night. And on that note, I think I'm gonna start drinking... a soy latte. Laaaaaaaate.

Daniel's Teeny Tini 23rd Birthday Party was a whole lot of fun. We spent the whole day preparing for it. Luckily, I took that Friday off from work. First we had to buy all of the liquor that was on my shopping list. Then we got Airon to come over and mix up four pitchers of what were essentially shots. He was clever enough to make them pink, orange, green, and blue. And we had rows and rows of teeny tini glasses that Airon also acquired for us and I filled them up in rows. I wish I had Daniel's camera to show you all. It was vury pretty. And they were all extremely tastey. T to the A to the STEY girl you tastey. Everybody slurped them down. I had enough in each pitcher to fill up all the glasses twice, so I don't think anybody was left wanting.

There was a great mix of people coming and going all night long. I was exhausted when it was over and I know it was really special for Daniel for everyone to come. He got some really great gifts. Like the autographed pictures of Kylie Minogue that Adam! ordered him. Or the portrait of Kylie Minogue that JennyCole hand crafted out of colored pencils, beads, and flowers. Truly amazing. And Kelly got him a book about cars and a year long prescription to Car and Driver. Ryan Short got him this really great set of bath spa stuff. I can't remember what else he got, but it was all good stuff.

And Katie wore my dress! And looked fantastic. I will definitely grab a picture of that and show it to you all. Biggest accomplishment of my life thus far. Every time I saw her I would yell, "WHO ARE YOU WEARING? WHO ARE YOU WEARING?" over and over again. Good times.

But I guess the most exciting news is that I'M MOOOVING! Daniel and I signed a lease on Friday for a first floor, corner, 3-bedroom apartment in Addison! Circle. Okay, so I'm just moving down the street, but it's still fucking exciting. We are going to have so much room. Guest bedroom, guest bath, family room, living room, dining room, big kitchen, huge master bedroom with a door that opens to the outside. We are moving on May 15th so anybody that would like to help us cart shit over there, it would be most appreciated. Or if anybody has any boxes I can borrow before then, I would also appreciate that.

I think sometime around my birthday (July 6) we are going to have a birthday/house warming/Kaboom Town party. I'll be sure to let you all know when that is. And I hope you all have a great week and keep out of the rain. Laaaaaaaate.

On your mark! Get set! Go! Febrehabruariii begins! So far so good. I was nursing a raging hangover this morning -- one so bad that it required me taking a bath when I rightfully should have been at work -- so that always makes day one a breeze. I'm mostly just hungry. I think I ate enough today, I just never got that hungover satisfaction that a greezy mushroom swiss burger can bring. So far I've had plain ass oatmeal, a veggie sub, cashews, apple sauce and a protein shake. Not exactly busting a gut, but whatever, my body will adjust.

Last night Daniel and I celebrated our one year anniversary. Now, before any of you point out what I know you're going to point out, we decided that no matter how good or how bad things were for a while there, this was still the day that our relationship began. But we decided to party on Febrehabruariii Eve so that we could booze it up at dinner and whatnot. We ate at SoHo over on Beltline. Tres chic, great food, good atmosphere. I can't believe I've never been there. We might go back at some point because they serve hummus and I'm gonna eat me some hummus this month.

I just got back from the grocery store with 100 dollars worth of suitable vegan delights. You can't imagine how hard it was to find bread without milk in it. Or margarine that was totally soy. Reading labels sucks. It takes so much longer to shop. The other downside is that almost everything I got is perishable. So if for some reason I don't eat it all, then it totally goes to waste.

So okay, Daniel just walked in and busted me using his computer. My internet has been down for over a week, hence the lack of updates. I'm gonna go upstairs now and make myself some more blueberry muffins, but this time I'm going to try putting some blueberry juice in the batter like maybe in place of some of the water because I want them to come out blue. Huzzah!

Good luck to everyone who is participating, and by that, I mean Lauren.

In Seattle, it is difficult to tell the homeless from the homeful. Stereotypes about early 90s grunge still dominating here are understatements. I've done my best to adapt by not shaving for 3 weeks, but I'm afraid that without a vintage hobo jacket, tattered Converse, and a pair of cords, no one will ever believe me.

This morning there was about 3 inches of snow accumulated on the ground. You could hardly tell where the curbs and the roads were. I was nervous about driving until I walked on it and there was a surprising amount of traction. My original plan to do a controlled 360 into a parking spot ala Undercover Brother was shot to hell. The weird thing was that by 9am, all the snow had melted. Some freak warm rain storm came through and melted ALL of it. And tonight it's supposed to be back in the 20s. I love talking about the weather.

While I was here I got to go have beers with Stuart. It was really fun. That guy hasn't changed at all except his hair isn't purple and he has no lip ring. I will hopefully see him again before I leave. His sister was visiting him or something and bogarting his time, but I think she left today.

Boy oh boy am I ever ready to get home. I've got a 6 cup tournament with Ryan and Todd scheduled for Saturday night. Daniel's going with me. Anybody else want to chance a trip to Arlington? Scary shit there.

Um, I just felt obliged to update. I really didn't have much to say.

Worst. Post. Ever.

I like to think of myself as an aspirer. There's nothing I really excel at, but there are many, many things I am aspiring to be. Just one of those, as you may know, is a MythBuster. Although I do feel the need to recall my Brita water filter vodka experiment and mention that I did that before the MythBusters did.

Anywho, let me tell you about my latest experiment. This one is based on the episode where they test the absolutely retarded idea that burying beer in the sand, dousing it with gasoline, and lighting it on fire will cool the beer down ... as fire tends to do to things. They obviously busted this myth, but then set about finding out the fastest way to cool down a six pack. Keith can tell you that the fastest way to do so is in a cooler full of ice and salt water. You can bring the temperature of the salt water down to around 25 degrees Fahrenheit, envelop the can in the sub-freezing liquid, and a few minutes later, you've got a frosty cold beer. I've used this a few times in a pinch when the only available case of Kers Lat (or Miller when I'm at Lesbie's) is off the shelf. But it requires a sink, all the ice in the ice maker, and the remainder of salt in the house. Could this be improved?

Hypothesis: If I could get a saline solution with enough salt that it wouldn't freeze solid in the freezer, I could have instant beer cooling liquid on hand at all times. Plop a beer in for 30 seconds, rinse and drink. It should be fast enough that I don't mind doing it one beer at a time.

Research: Now, I do all of my research on the internet from uncertified websites, so if you see any flaws here, please let me know. What I read tells me that the average freezer is set at 0 degrees Fahrenheit ... well below water's freezing point. At first I thought it might be too cold at any salinity. But, another website suggested that when water reaches saturation of salt, the freezing point can be lowered to around -6 degrees Fahrenheit. So, it's probable that if I pour a shit ton of salt into a bowl of water and place it in the freezer, it will still be a liquid in the morning. A super chilled beer frosting liquid.

I was surprised how much salt the water could handle. You wouldn't expect me to be surprised since in the sixth grade I took second place in the science fair with, "Which Liquid Can Hold the Most Salt?" I received glowing comments like, "Why?" No reason, bitch, I was just fucking curious. g*d! Oh well, it was much better than my brother's, "Does Fertilizer Help Plants Grow?" Turns out it does. Anyway, it took about half a can of salt, but I wanted to make absolutely sure that it was saturated and had a few crystals left over that it couldn't absorb. And now, we wait.

I'll keep you all posted on my progress.

My apologies to anybody who has had a birthday party in the past that I've attended. Because you've all been trumped. Let me tell you a little bit about the best birthday party ever.

I guess I should start by wishing Adam a very happy 23rd. His birthday was this last Thursday and he threw a humdinger of a shindig on Saturday. We rode around Dallas on a g*d damned charter bus drinking, singing, dancing, and bar hopping. It was so much fun. We were on the bus from about 10 until a little after 2 and went to the Walrus Bar, Iron Cactus, and ended up at Sherlocks in Addison. His friends were all super and I drank more than I have in a really long time. Daniel and I both slept the next day until 5pm. I haven't done that in years. I can't imagine how much trouble Adam went through to put all of this together, but I encourage all of you to copy him. And invite me.

In other news, just a remind that the ol' tonsils come out on Friday. So I'll be out of commission for a while. They claim one day. I'm planning on one week minimum. Please don't visit since I'm removing a part of my immune system and won't be fully protected again until it fully heals, but feel free to send me get-well-soon money. Laaaaaaaaate.

I just spent a good 10 minutes cleaning up about a whole cup of sugar from the counter tops and floor of my kitchen. You might think I'd be annoyed by the necessity, given the Fantastik-sugar slurry that is embedded in my fingernails, or the history of ants I've had in this apartment, but you'd be wrong. I was chuckling heartily the entire time.

I chuckled because the sugary dusting reminded me of yet another good time from the other drunken night with Thommi and Brett Sabulous. It was around 3am ... or maybe 6am, who remembers ... and I decided I was hungry. Since I've been out of town for a week my fridge is understandably barren. Sidenote: Why is refrigerator abbreviated fridge? Where the fuck did the 'D' come from? I guess because frige might be pronounced [frig*gy]? Where was I? Oh yeah -- empty friggy.

So I channeled the spirits of Contessa With Her Shoes Off and set about making a fabulous dinner party. If I learned one thing in my stint as an aspiring cook, it's that anything can be fried in butter ... and everything is better fried in butter. So I took a tortilla and a frying pan and set to work. The first one was pretty good and after sharing my concoction with my guests, there were three chefs in the kitchen. Three chefs with ideas for improvements. We set about to spicing things up.

The first thing we found in the ol' spice cabinet (I call it that because it's the only cabinet that has more than zero spices in it ... and less than three) was garlic salt. A few massive crispy garlic salt chips later and we were back in the ol' spice cabinet looking for round two -- not to mention downing beers to rehydrate our tongues. Sugar! Fuck yeah! Sugar would be fantastic. So Brett made a few sugar tortillas. Not bad ... but lacking. I kicked it up a notch by making a bowl of cimanimanon sugar. As I fried my butter tortilla, I hit it with pinches of cimanimanon sugar. It was alright, but not really flavorful enough.

Brett informed me that the traditional way to sugar pastries is with a sifter ... which I just happened to have. He said three sifts of sugar should be perfect. So I got my sifter out, Brett held it above the tortilla, and I poured the bowl of sugar into it. It turns out that sifters really only work with confectioners sugar, not so much with cane. It all fell immediately thru and piled on top of our dessert. Unphased, we both said, "Ooooonnnnneeee!" Two empty sifts later and we had the best fucking drunken breakfast ever dreamed up.

So anyway, that's why I cleaned up all night. I guess I could have just said, "We fried tortillas in butter and put sugar on them," but I think the long version was much, much better. See you skillets on the flip siiiiiiide.

If you haven't ever seen Dave Chapelle's Block Party, I suggest you go rent it immediately and bask in it. Just bask. I rented it last night when Blockbuster didn't have Stangers with Candy (so lame). So now I'm sitting home alone with a bottle of Patrón chilling in the freezer thoroughly enjoying myself. I got dressed up for no reason, fried some dinner in butter and life is good.

I remember the first time I saw Block Party. It was when the ever lovely Miss Lesbie Ann Bizzell was in my hizzell and we wanted a drizzell in the mornizzle, like you do. After drinking breakfast at the Gecko we went to Studio Movie Grill and laughed our asses off at this movie in between martinays. Loves it.

On Monday I have to get up at 4am. I have a 6am flight to Manassas, VA. Well, there's no airport in Manassas, obviously, but it is right near Washingtown, DC. I have to be there for a week with work. I would be lying if I didn't say I was looking forward to it. I've gotten in a rut lately, if you haven't noticed. I hardly ever leave my apartment. I never go anywhere or do anything. That is one downfall to dating. You just get comfortable and stop trying to look around for fun things to do. So now I'm going to Manassas. If I weren't dating Daniel then I'd say I looked forward to getting some asses in Manassas, but it's just a tag line now.

I got my sister's name in our annual xmas gift exchange. She's a 30-something news anchor, soon-to-be-mother of two with a brand new house. Give me gift ideas. I am not having any ideas pop into my head.

Like I said, not too many hilarious stories to tell from the couch unless you want me to recount my favorite episodes of Family Guy.... No? Then FUCK YOU. I'm out. Peace.

In my continuing quest to save money, I got my teeth Zoom! whitened on Thursday. I hadn't really considered doing it until my 200 year old dentist put it in my head that I would be an excellent candidate for tooth whitening. Who the fuck isn't a good candidate? Honestly. Anyway, after hearing that I started thinking my teeth were fugly and yellow so I did it. If you're considering this Zoom! whitening, I want you all to think about it seriously.

I had to be in this chair for like 2 hours. They even gave me a pillow before we started, which should have been my first clue. Then they put that thing in your mouth that holds your lips back and get to work. Since Zoom! is speed up with some kind of light (I don't know what kind exactly, just that it will burn your skin if left exposed) they have to cover all of your tissue. That includes the lips, face, gums. They used some gauze-like material and shoved it into every nook and cranny of my mouth. Along my gums they used that blue shit that hardens under a light. So a piece of gauze along my gum line, and then the hardened blue shit down to the detailed sections, holding the gauze down. It was so uncomfortable. Then they shove this overhead projector inside your mouth and you can't move for 15 minute intervals.

I think my teeth are definitely better. The doctor says I went from and A2/A3 to an A1/B1, so you KNOW that's good right? But the fact of the matter is, my teeth weren't that bad before and they're not that great now, so I have yet to have anyone notice. I haven't given up yet though because I have a 2 week at home treatment to complete before the process is over. I just have to wait until Sunday to begin that or she said my teeth would get too sensitive.

My teeth are also dehydrated ... something I was unaware was possible. You'd think them being bone, first off, would make it hard to dehydrate them. And living their entire lives in a saliva filled pie hole might help too. But they assure me my teeth are dehydrated. So to drink coffee would not only be counterproductive during the whitening process, but would actually have a greater effect than usual. My teeth will soak up any pigment they are given. So essentially for the next 3 weeks or so, no coffee, no tea, no smoking, and absolutely no red wine. Arg. So far so good on all accounts. I got some vodka last night and Daniel made me a martini but the urge to smoke was growing, growing so I went to bed instead.

And that's just about all that's been happening lately. Sorry for the lack of posts, but either my life has gotten boring or my alertness as of late has made me less apt to mull over details of my day to find an interesting story for you all. Either way, I'm still goin strong. Tell your friends about me.

I think one of the easiest and most efficient methods I have for determining who my friends will be resides in the bathroom. If I meet someone new and go to use their bathroom and there is an empty beer can or bottle in the bathroom trashcan, it's a pretty sure bet that we're gonna get along finejustfine. I woke up this morning to find this Kerrs Lat can in my bathroom trashcan and it gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling because I wanted to be friends with myself. Even though, I have my suspicions that my most sabulous friend put it there instead of me. But still.

Last night I was layin around drinkin beer after a hard day at work. I had a case of Kerrs Lat and the History Channel and couldn't have been happier. Then I got a text message from my new friend who works at a bar near me. I'm avoiding names to protect the guilty. Only because I'm dying to tell you that I went to go keep him company while business was slow and started drinking. Brett Sabulous texted me shortly thereafter saying he was bored so he joined me. We sat and drank for a few hours, probably had a tab of around 70 dollars, and walked out without paying a dime. So fucking awesome. But I also didn't tip so I told my friend I'd buy him dinner next time he was around and hungry. Gotta love friends behind bars.

I was really drinking so much in an effort to produce a really raging headache so I could spend all day in bed in my newly darkened bedroom. It worked. And now, ladies and gentlement, I present to you, a new picture of my bedroom -- at 3 o'fuckin'clock in the damn afternoon. It is so awesome. Not exactly black, but close enough. It has been so nice -- dark and cool. I have my suspicions that this is going to save me a hell of a lot on air conditioning bills. But seriously, folks, I have a splitting headache. I gotta go back into my cave.

It's time for another of those very, very rare treats... a drunken SideshoViD.com update! I just spent the most lovely evening with Daniel. We started out with dinner at Antonio's. I fucking love Antonio's. Not only do they know how to make my martini (very, very, very, very, very dirty with just a *splash* of vermouth (I've since given up efforts to define wet or dry)) but they have the best food ever. Mmmm carpaccio.

Anyway, tonight was another night of the continuing Oktoberfest here in Äddison! I accidentally bought too many tickets (Oktoberfest currency) so we had to chug beers the entire time to avoid wasting tickets. When we left I wanted more beer so I told Daniel we could go to the beer store and pick some up. He assured me that midnight was the latest you could buy. But I was SURE it was 1am on a Saturday. I called Ryan Short to confirm this and he told me that it was indeed midnight.

On the way to the car we passed by our Addison! Circle friend, Dave, who told us that it was 11pm. We both knew that there was no way that was true. I was so sure it was 1am that I told Daniel drinks were on me at any bar in town if I was wrong.

Well long story short (which is pointless to say after you've already told the long story) I was right. You can buy beer until 1am on a Saturday in Texas. And that, my friends, is my public service announcement to you. So hurry, you still have five minutes! Later, bitches!

Als ich mein kleines Diagramm heute morgen saege, beachtete ich, daß mein Punkt über Deutschland gewachsen war. Das bedeutet, daß ich mehr als zehn Besucher von dort gehabt habe. Da ich nur eine Person in Deutschland kenne, muß es mein Freund Marc sein, die meine Web site liest. So wollte ich erklären ihm hallo.

I'm takin over the world, baby. In fact, on BBC.com, they just had an article about the happiest countries in the world. Denmark came in first place. The U.S. was 23rd. This little map shows happiness in the world with red being the most happy and yellow being the most African. I took the liberty of overlaying my ClustrMap dots on top of this map. If you'll notice you'll see that the highest concentration of my dots are all over the happiest countries of the world. Coincidence? I think not. I am the light.

I made Daniel go out to Antonio's with me last night because I wanted to attempt to have a cocktail. I wasn't sure if the alcohol would sting my throat, or if alcohol would go right up my nose as water as been doing. (Did I already mention that the uvula is responsible for closing off the nasal passage when swallowing?) Well, I am happy to report that I had two "very, very dirty Absolut martinis," my drink of choice these days, and had absolut-ly no problems. I'm back, baby! Although, I did have a problem that maybe you alchys can help me with....

My first martini was delicious. And really, there's so much olive brine in my glass that it's hard to taste much of anything but that. However, I thought I detected an overbearingness of vermouth. When the waiter came to see if I wanted a refill I said, "Yes, oh and I think I forgot to mention, I also wanted it dry." And he said, "Oh, I'm sorry. So, more vermouth? You got it."

I was under the impression that a "dry martini" -- or a "dry vodka martini" for you purists -- would contain less vermouth than a regular martini. The research I've done online this morning suggests I'm correct. Wikipedia says, "A dry martini uses less dry vermouth than normal, perhaps a dash or lace of the glass." That makes no sense that a dry martini would use less dry vermouth, but it matches up with my original assumption. Am I right or am I retarded? What I want is a martini glass filled with equal parts of olive juice and ice cold vodka. How would one go about ordering this?

So Thursday was my birthday. I was pretty vigilant with my vow after last year's debacle to not make a big deal about it. Thanks to everyone who remembered and sent me a message or called. I worked on my birthday but took this Friday off because I was pretty sure I was gonna be drunk.

I decided that all I really wanted to do was sit on the TV and watch some beers. So when I got home from work, I tidied up a bit, cooked a frozen pizza and got down to drinking. Brett Sabulous had kept his plans tentative just in case I was doing something, and decided to come join me in my quest. So we sat on the TV together and watched a lot of beers. When Daniel got home, we moved the party down there and continued drinking. It was so much fun. So low key. So much more my speed.

Daniel got me a really nice Bulova wall clock for over my TV. That brings my clock total to 6 now. That's almost one clock per 100 square feet of my apartment. I am obsessed with knowing what time it is. This is the only nice clock I have though. It looks pretty smart over my new TV stand. I need to hang it just a smidge higher but I couldn't reach, so it's temporary now. Brett got me a gift certificate to Face, this men's salon in uptown. I'd never heard of it but their menu was quite impressive. I'm going to go get a real shave. I have ALWAYS wanted to do that. Hot towels, hot lathers, straight bladed razors. Omg, I can't wait. My parents got me a month of yoga. I really want to try out this place called Dahn Yoga over on Beltline. I don't know what brain respiration is but I'm soon going to find out.

So everything went just swimmingly this year. Unfortunately, speaking of swimmingly, Tuna is in bad shape. He's been really lethargic lately, so this morning I got online and researched his condition. He is showing every symptom of disease. I am going to get a heater for his tank since the temperature should be between 74 and 78 degress Fahrenheit, and if you've ever been to my refrigerated apartment, you know it's always colder than that. I'm about to quarantine him, clean his tank, and see if we can't revive him. But he's 2 years and 3 months old now, so I'm not sure how much longer he'll be with us. I'll keep you updated on his condition. Remember him in your prayers to Chuck Norris. Peace out, have-nots.

Our Kaboomtown party was such a hit! You'll see why I say that shortly.

First off, Kaboomcrown'ncokes are so delicious. I was able to convince most of the guests to scream "KABOOM!" when they ladled an ice cream scoop full of cherries into their drinks. That bottle of Crown lasted all of like 30 minutes. We switched to Grizzy Gooses (I wondered if the plural was Grizzy Geese, but it's not) soon after. When the Grey Goose was gone, we switched to Grabsoluts. That makes no sense since the "Gr" came from "Grey" but oh well. Absolizzy sounds stupid. The champagne flowed and the beer went way faster than expected. Smart move on my part getting plastic bottles. You'll see why I say that shortly.

When it got dark we all went to the roof of the garage. It was solid people. Solid drunk people. It was pouring rain. All the drunk people were dancing and hootin' 'n hollerin' in the rain. Yours truly included. Someone had a watermelon full of liquor that they were dispensing shots from. When that ran out, they filled it up with whatever beer was available. Too much fun. Brett Sabulous and I screamed, "KABOOM!" at the fireworks repeatedly. Repeatedly. Since it was pouring rain, they only shot off about a third of the planned fireworks, I'm estimating. There was no grand finale like I'm sure they had planned. I felt bad for the people that had probably planned the whole thing, it was basically ruined, but still totally rad. I love fireworks because when I was little my parents used to tell me that they were for my birthday.

After much merry making on the roof, we went back downstairs. I was pretty drunk and happy so some of the details escape me, but things got ugly. You'll see why I say that now. Without using any names or daring to understand the provocation, several fights broke out. Not like fun friendly fights. Like mean trying-to-hurt-each-other fights. I think back to like when Todd and DAvid would fight and I'd sit back and laaaauuuugh. Because even though they were throwing real punches and causing real bruises, you just knew that deep down inside they weren't going to hurt each other. It's like watching brothers fight. Not so that night. They were out for blood. And your local good Samaritan, Sidesho, was trying to stop it. Several mislanded punches later, several concrete tackles later, several wrestling matches and alpha male chest thrusts later, it was finally disolved, but not before our party was basically ruined. I was left with a few minor scraps and scabs, bruises all over both arms from someone fighting to escape my grip, a severely fucked up shoulder, two knees that don't take much to fuck up -- but falling on them on concrete did the trick -- a new trick ankle, and a sore nose. Good times, good times.

I was pretty upset at the time. By "upset" I mean "really drunk and upset" which always makes things worse. I took quite a bit of consoling, not because I was hurt, but because I had to watch people I cared about trying to draw blood from each other. I'm a delicate boy, I can't handle that shit. But now that's it been a couple of days, looking back it was rather exhilarating. I've never even been near a fight, and frankly have always been terrified of the proposition, but now I don't think it would be that bad. I mean, no one was fighting me, I was just in the way, but still, it doesn't hurt THAT bad to get hit. So watch the fuck out, everyone, this is your warning. I'm looking for a reason now. I WISH some mother fucker be sittin in my seat.

So that was my Kaboomtown. The 4th was much more serene consisting of dinner at Daniel's parents' house and a drive home where we could see at least 3 fireworks shows going on at all times. This is so my favorite holiday. It's really cool too because it celebrates our country's independence; it's not just some Hallmark-invented holiday like Valentine's Day or easter. So hope everyone else had a wonderful (and tad safer) holiday. Czech you skillets on the flip side.

I feel the need to share with you all a couple of products that I can't live without. I really wish I was better about letting you know of all of my purchases, but it always slips my mind. So hopefully, this won't be the last installment of free advertising here on SideshoViD.com.

The first one I think everyone should own is Plink. Plink your sink! These are little yellow balls that could easily be mistaken for lemon sours. When I grind up the fatty remains of eight chicken breasts and leave the remnants in the blades of my garbage disposal for a week, I'm just asking for an unmistakable stench. I used to rely on handfuls of ice cubes and lemon halves for salvation, but now I have something even better. One of these little Plinks not only completely removes the odor, but replaces it with the most refreshing lemon scent. I only wish they made them in orange flavor to match my orange Fantastik, orange Febreze Air Deodorizer, and orange Pledge. It's citrus, though, so it works. Buy some.

Next, we have Bear Naked. I was first introduced to the Bear Naked product line by watching their story on the Food Network. It was truly inspiring. I went to Whole Foods (the only place I know of where you can buy the stuff) and tried it. Incredible. The cereal is unbeatable as a breakfast, or any meal of the day for that matter, but it's also good just dry out of the bag for a quick snack. I recently tried their all natural oatmeal and I can no longer eat that Quaker shit. Bear Naked is just so much better. It's not mushy. It's grainy and nutty and so fucking good. I must impel you all to try it.

That's all the product placement I have for today. The only other thing I have to advertise is our July 3rd Kaboomtown Party here in the ol' Addison! Circle. Daniel and I are hosting a little get together, which will probably be much like every other night of our lives, except with fireworks! We have two drinks planned. Grizzy Goose is first on the menu -- a mixture of Izzy Natural Soda (ah, fuck, I just realized I could totally advertise that... try it too) and Grey Goose vodka. I know, I know, I only drink Effen, but it's too hard to come up with a good name on that. Second are our Kaboomcrown'ncokes. It's just like a Crown and Coke except we're gonna put real cherries in them. Kaboom! Oh yeah, also, every time you make one you have to scream, "KABOOM!" when you drop the cherries in. Loves it.

Let me know if you want to come join us and I just might let you. Later, have-nots!

Kelly went away for a while. When she returned, she brought with her a man named Alexander. Alexander has more money than you or I will ever see in 10 lifetimes. Aside from that little tid-bit, he's a really cool, laid back, generous guy. Him and Kelly get along really well. That said, I've had a few firsts as of late.

First, I broke the Sidesho-Land Speed Record. I'm not sure what it was before, probably about 100mph that one time Allison and I made it from College Station to Dallas in just over 2 hours. The new record is 150mph. Did I mention Alexander used to be a race car driver? He has some really awesome car, but I obviously don't remember what kind it is. The other night Daniel, Matt Cweech, his friend Sean, and I met up with Kelly and Alexander here in the circle. Afterwards, he took us for a spin down the Tollway. Treating lanes as if they were a mere suggestion, we weaved our way in and around traffic until we hit a top speed of just around 150mph. I was pretty scared, but it was such a rush.

Shortly thereafter, we were invited out to the boat. Yup, I broke the Sidesho-Water Speed Record. Can you believe that I've never been to Lake Lewisville? Or I hadn't, rather. Well, I have now and I must say the next time you get out that way, you simply must do it on a certified yacht. This thing had a little picnic table in the back, and a couch, and a bedroom, and a kitchen, and a bathroom, and it hauled ass too. It was so nice. He let me drive it a little bit even though I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. And when we were sitting out front on top of the boat, he would veer wildly trying to knock us off. I spent the whole day out there sipping on beers, chatting it up with Daniel, Hunter, Lauren, Matt Cweech, and of course, Kelly and Alexander. It was just a gorgeous day and way too much fun. I'm hoping we do that like every weekend.

I had to get those stories out there because I'm gonna have a different story to tell when I get home in a few hours. Daniel is about to take me down to see the doctor that does the Pillar Procedure. I'm getting that done as well as a turbinate cobilation (?). They're gonna stick foam pillars in my throat and shove a laser up my nose, essentially. Here's a link to that article Ryan Short wrote about me for the Dallas Voice. I don't think I ever shared it with you all. So wish me luck. It probably won't help me sleep, but it couldn't hurt. Ciao bellas.

It's great to be back. I gotta tell you. Boy, I missed beer. And liquor. Liquor? I hardly even know her. My glorious return to drinking was shared with a couple of birthdays. First, to the Allistralian. She flew halfway around the world and I had to fuckin miss her bbq. I was stuck in Funkytown until like 7:30pm for work, and then by the time I arrived back at the office, I already had some friends from out of town waiting for me. So my apologies, but I do hope you had the best birthday ever.

Next, was Miss Lesbie Ann. She drove up from Austin to celebrate turning into 27. Oh wait, I mean, turning 27, my mistake. She had been to Dallas plenty of times, but she had never been to Addison! I assumed I would have to show her all that Addison! had to offer, but instead, she showed me ....

Friday night we sat around drinkin beers like I do most weekends. I wanted her to meet everyone and see how we do. Saturday morning we woke up and went to Cafe Gecko for Bloody Marys and breakfast (since when are those different things). From there, we went and bought tickets for Dave Chappelle's Block Party. Really, we just wanted to drink more and figured a movie without a solid plot might allow for breaks to the bathroom. A few margaritas and martinis later we retired for a respite in my apartment until it was time for our appointments at the spa. Unfortunately, they couldn't find anyone to massage me on such short notice, but Lester did have a diamond scrub facial with allllll the trimmings. I met her at Zen Bar to celebrate and we threw back a few brewskis, brah. Then we met up with Daniel to go to Shuck and Jive where we ate more oysters than you would normally assume three people would eat and drank a lot more brews, dude. Our plans to get fancied up and go south of 635 were interrupted by our inability to drive. So we wrapped up the evening drinking at Daniel's until we both passed out. What a fabulous weekend. Thank you so much to my host, Leslie!

Last bit of business. Who watched Project Runway? Who else is incensed at the finale? Chloe?!?! Give me a fucking break. Her collection was a bunch of shiny GEM monstrocities. I thought they were going to tear her a new one. I was a Dan Fan through the whole season but had just recently switched to voting for Santino. I wasn't blown away by any one collection, but I thought that Santino would win. Daniel's was too plain Jane store shelf looking. I don't wanna look at anything too conceptual but I also don't want to look at something I probably could have thought of. Blech, what a disappointment. I can't wait until Jay McCarroll's line comes out. I'm gonna wear the shit out of it.

This weekend. Out of town. Niece's 1st birthday in OKC. Can't wait. See you all when I get back.

Join me, won't you, on the home stretch of the second annual self-imposed sabatical from all things sinful. Any by sinful, I mean enjoyable. There are so many stages of Febrehab that you go through during the 28 days of detoxification. First there's the optimism, then the irritability, the pain, the eye gouging, the night sweats ... and eventually, the hump, followed by the denouement. I am now on the last stage -- and RIGHT on time. Remorse. After all I've gone through, why, oh why, would I subject myself to it again. I could just continue this forever and be nonetheworse because of it.

But, FUCK THAT. I think on Wednesday, after work, I will wait until that guy pulls on the tail of that bird perched on the rock outside and makes it whistle. I'll slide down the tail of the Brontosaurus and into my car. At that point, I will flick a Bic and enjoy a Prince flown fresh from Sweden. (BTW, did you catch my Jetsons reference?)

Wednesday and Thursday will be punctuated with the grand, world-wide tradition Berliners refer to as "Feierabend." Ja, meine Freunde, I am talkin about the Happy Hour! Oh, I can't wait. I need to get the chops up, though, to prepare for our victory celebration that I've dubbed "Febrehabruarii -- 28 Days, Not To Be Confused With Its Sequel, 28 Days Later." F28DNTBCWIS28DL? Doubtful. Probable? Keg. Come. BYO, though, the kegs for me. Daniel can have some. And Brett Sabulous could have had some if were going to be in town. Party starts at 8 in Addison Circle. Bring a friend.

I didn't really save any money this year. Instead, I spent every dime that I normally spend on alcohol and cigarettes dining on only the most expensive of cuisines. You haven't lived until you've had 3 foot long crab legs, or 6 lobsters wood grilled on the table in front of you, or rows of raw oysters on a halfshell abed a mound of Sonic ice. I gave up red meat in addition to the other carnal pleasures, so rare steak was off the menu. I didn't really lose any weight either, but damned if it wasn't worth it.

This was the best fucking Febrehabruarii of my life. I'll miss it when it's gone and look forward to next year (preview: Febrehabruariii). Thanks to all of you for your continued attempts to entice me to fail at my goal, and thanks to me for ensuring none of you succeed. Onward, and upward. To the bars!

I thought that it might be fun today to play a little game with all of you. I've obtained an exclusive photograph of a celebrity trash can. Given the three options, you have to guess whose trash it is. Ready? Here we go.

Is the answer A: British soccer stud and metrosexual posterboy David Beckham, B: International super model and reality TV emcee Heidi Klum, orrrrrr C: internet megalomaniac and google addict SideshoViD.

If you said C, you're right! You win everything behind door #1. Now take my trash out, idiot. Do you think it says anything about my lifestyle that I'm overflowing with empty cases of beer, empty cans, empty cigarette packs, and empty pizza boxes? I think it means I need to buy more beer, cigarettes, and pizza. Am I right?

Really, it is getting out of control and while it's all going to be going away during Febrehabruarii, I think it might be prudent to wean myself a little before then. I don't want to put my body in shock. Speaking of, is anybody else doing Febrehabruarii?

Hope you all had a good New Year's party and were hungover like it's 2006. Peace out skillets.

I know you were all expecting an immediate reaction to my Thanksgiving, since it is my favorite holy day of the year, so I apologize for keeping you in suspense. In all honesty, it wasn't wild and or crazy, just nice. I drove up to OKC to see my sister. Her daughter is about 8 months old now. It's totally an age you don't want to miss out on, but, c'mon ... babies don't do much. She can't talk yet, she can't walk yet, so while I wouldn't trade seeing her for anything, it was pretty low key.

Our turkey was pretty good. I don't know that it was 140 dollars good, but it was scrumptious. The best part of the Heritage Turkey is that it comes with a barcode. When you enter that barcode at their website, it brings up your turkey's personal history. Our hen was born in March of 2005 and raised on a farm in Kansas. She liked roosting in tall trees. It was kind of morbid, so we gave her a eugoogaly before we tore into her roasted butter basted carcass. Thanks be given. We shared the meal with my niece's other grandparents, the baptits preacher. The baptits preacher doesn't drink or dance or believe anyone but him is getting into the pearly gates. Well since there was a baptits at the table (you guys have noticed I'm spelling it 'baptits' on purpose by now right? good) that meant that I couldn't drink either. So annoying.

As soon as he left we busted out the beer and scotch and played poker and me and my dad robbed my brother-in-law blind. It was too funny. Unfortunately though, the next day my sister was feeling sick. Her daughter was already under the weather and kind of cranky (which is not her usual demeanor). So my parents and I opted to leave a bit earlier than planned and drop off at Winstar for some gambalaya. I didn't win anything but I did lose the 20 bucks I'd won from poker, so I came out even. That's pretty good for me since I have a gambling problem ... my problem is that I suck at it.

Thanksgiving plans? I'm going to host one in December when Owen is in town. It will be held at the Hamptons by my gracious host Miles. Not only will there be booze there, but I imagine it will be at least 8 of the 9 side dishes. Bourbon soup, here we come. Look forward to your invitation to that, even though most of you won't receive one.

Lastly, I am done with sleep medicine. No more CPAPs, no more machines, no more masks, no more pills, no more studies, no more labs, no more brain waves, no more oxygen monitors, no more REM, NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE. I went to the doctor today, returned everything they'd given me, shook their hands and left. Best of all? No more payments. I just need to work on getting back to where I was 7 months ago before I started all of this nonsense. I was tired, but I was functioning. That's the combo I'm trying to get back to. If it turns out that I can't do it on my own, I will accept the advice of the doctor and return for an unlimitedly refilled subscription to Provigil, but I'm hoping it won't come to that.

Miles bought me a prescription to Details! UH! Thanks Miles!

This was another fabulous weekend spent on the stoop. We all just kind of hung out, watched movies, and drank a whole bunch. Last night, around 4am, we had the bright idea to go to J's Hamburgers and Breakfast for a post-evening meal. Usually when I say something was a "bright idea" I mean it sarcastically, but in this sense, it truly was a delight. I had some sausage patties and a few too many cups of coffee. Daniel, Miles and I rode back (the 3 blocks) to our little stretch of Addison circle and were prepared to drink a little more and then turn in when we heard the most pathetic little, "Excuse me. Excuse me."

We turned to find this woman -- drunk and crying -- wandering the streets of Addison with no shoes on. She explained to us in between sobs how her friend and her had gotten into a fight over a man, and she was now locked out with no phone, no keys, and no shoes. We offered to let her in the building and walk her up to her friend's apartment (for moral support). When we got to the fourth floor, she wandered around aimlessly, sobbing some more, claiming she couldn't remember which apartment belonged to her friend. She sat there helplessly, and then in a fit of rage the likes of which I haven't seen since I shared a bedroom with my brother, she randomly decided that the door nearest to her was the one she was looking for and began beating it down screaming, "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR YOU BITCH!" I didn't have the time to take a picture of her, so I illustrated it all for you:

Since we're such rock steady moral support for all vagrants and vagabonds north of 635, the second she hit that random stranger's door with all her might, we exited stage right. We took the elevator down to my floor and then sprinted back to my apartment. We slammed the door, laughed for a minute, and then watched the Magic Bullet infomercial. I hope that chick is okay and didn't have to sleep in the hallway. Actually, wait, no, I don't care.

What I did have my camera for was the sign that Miles, Lindy and I were looking at outside of Daniel's building while we waited for everyone to join us. Here's a quick snapshot of it. We were trying to decipher it's meaning. Lindy decided that it was a message to all handicapped people to "just get up." Just get up. I thought that was so funny ... after many, many longnecks. I just had to share it with you all.

I had too much fun once again within the confines of Addison Circle. I find less and less reason to go downtown these days. I hope my friends south of 635 know that they are always welcome to the stoop. Just FYI. Okay, that's all I have for today. Now let's all get out there, hustle and have a grood week. *slap on the butt*

I have read on the internet again and again and again that using a simple Brita water filter, one can turn ordinary squeezy vodka into a top shelf delight. Being the scientifically minded alcoholic that I am, I just had to try this for myself. Mr. Kenderdine and myself set out for the Goody Goody liquor store to get the required materials. I didn't want to simply recreate experiments that have already been done, and this may have affected my results. Most websites I've read involve good, okay, and shitty vodka. After filtering half of the shitty vodka, a blind taste test ensues. Ours was a little different. However, our hypothesis was the same:

Is this the equation to unlimited high-quality, low-cost booze? We decided that cape cods would be our vodka drink of choice. We could have taken straight vodka shots, but I wanted to add a hint of applicability. I'm not gonna say I never drink vodka straight and dance in my underwear to Neil Diamond, but I'm more inclined to have a cocktail. Our two vodkas were McCormick and Effen. I'd never had Effen before, but I just thought it was too much fun to ask for some "Effen vodka." The price differential was over 20 dollars.

The idea here has to do with the distilling and filtration process that vodka producers go through. Many of them use simple carbon filtrating to remove impurities from the vodka. The impurities are what can change the flavor of the alcohol, so if you go a few steps beyond the distillery and run it through the Brita a few times, you're going to be left with a Brita basin full of Greygoose. Seemed unlikely, but plausible. g*d, i'm like my own Myth Buster.

After filtering half of the McCormick twice, we poured ourselves a couple of drinks with the unfiltered variety. I measured out an ounce and a half, since we like our drinks with a little stank on em. The bite was quite intense. After the initial wince, it went down a little easier. I had a few friends over to join in on the taste test. It was good times. We decided that the unfiltered McCormick was most decidedly vile. But, what could twice through a filter accomplish?

On to the filtered vodka. Conclusion? Nasty. There was the same unpleasant taste we'd experienced before. We'd all had a few drinks at this point, and were worried that the intoxication level might taint the experience. Mr. Kenderdine was the first to be ready for an Effen vodka cape cod. On his first sip, he started laughing hysterically. I asked him repeatedly what was so fucking funny and all he could do was hand me his glass. I took a sip and joined him in a hearty laugh. It was sooo good. Unbelievably better. From that point on, we called the experiment over and all stuck to Effen for the rest of the night.

There are several X factors involved here. If any of you have tried this differently, with different vodka, straight, blind, or otherwise, let me know if it worked for you. Because for us, it was most definitely BUSTED. Life is too short to drink cheap liquor. Write that down.

But we all got drunk. And if you get drunk, then you have to ultimately call it a success. Hurray!

Two weeks later, I have finally arrived back home. Getting from Cincinnati to Austin was an ordeal. It took right around 12 hours total. First my plane from Cincinnati to Chicago was delayed by the hurricane. When it finally arrived, we were delayed by a problem at O'Hare. By the time I got to Chicago, my connecting flight was long gone. My new flight was then canceled and I ended up getting to Austin-Bergstrom at 1am. A long cab ride later I was finally at Leslie's.

Leslie's apt was low-key and fun. We sat around drinkin' wine and brewskis and watching Food Network and Napoleon Dynamite. Leslie just bought a house! Yay! Her housewarming party should be sometime around October and I cannot wait. We drove by the house and it is too cute. Even though the street name is dirrty.

I drove back to Dallas today and finally got to see my buddy, Tuna. I'm a little disconcerted by the fact that he no longer has a tail fin. I'm not sure what happened there, but he is a uniplegic now. Poor guy. He is not in a good mood. Thanks to Mr. Kenderdine for taking such doting care of my fish.

I went and had coffee with Mikey since he's staying up in Plano while he interviews here in Dallas. Good times, good times. Alright, I gotta go to bed, but I wanted to let you all know that I made it back alive. I'm not really looking forward to returning to work tomorrow, but I'm going to the sleep clinic tomorrow night, so I have something to look forward to. Here's to my last night of apnea ridden sleep. Huzzah!

I did it. I fucking did it. I traversed the globe from Austin, TX to Cincinnati, OH without a single hitch. I even rented my first car and followed directions to my hotel. From my balcony, I overlook a White Castle. I might have to try that tomorrow for dinner and see if it sucks even worse than Krystals does. The lady at the front desk here is super cool. She gave me a smoking room with a balcony, and had a fridge sent up to my room so I could keep the beers cold that she gave me. Who knows if she's this nice to everyone, but it sure does feel special.

I know Brandon had requested a big long blog all about my weekend in Austin, but that may have to wait a couple of days, which in effect means I will never get around to it. It is now midnight and I have to meet some dude in the lobby at 7am to go to the UC campus. So far I'm having a good time. Thanks jebus there's free internet access in my room. The workout facilities leave a lot to be desired, but it should be sufficient. But anyway, my weekend in Austin was awesome. Congratufuckinglations to Dr. and Mrs. Jamey Dent. Bang up job getting married, kids. The wedding was cathlick, the reception was fun, the nap I took after the reception was a fucking blast. I went out with Brandon and some of his friends. It was so, so good to see Brandon, not, not so good to see his friends. But, we all managed to make it though the weekend being painfully polite to each other. There's a whole sordid inside story to why that I don't feel like getting into. Let's just say his new boyfriend has every reason to hate me.

Beer #2 is now open.

So getting to Cincinnati (or Sin-sin-naughty, as I hope to come to call it) wasn't too bad. Lester took me to the airport and let me park my car at her apartment, so thanks for that, L.Bizzle said D.Fizzle. I scheduled myself a 4 hour layover in Chicago hoping that one of my two friends would be able to meet up with me for a while. Turned out that neither of them could, which was totally cool, I knew that when I scheduled the layover without asking that I was rolling the dice. So I had plenty of time to sit and eat a leisurely (free) dinner and then play Spider Solitaire for 2 hours while listening to John Denver's greatest hits.

My flight from Chicago to Cincinnati wasn't on a big American Airlines plane. It was on a smaller sub-airline, I guess, called American Eagle. I don't know about you, but visions of a flight crew dressed in tattered jeans and board shorts did not instill much confidence. But we made it on one piece with only minor turbulence, and then I masterfully navigated my (upgraded) rental car to my pimpass hotel. The fucking end.

Got a busy couple of weeks ahead of me, but so far I'm rather liking this travel thing. Now, to close, an homage to Drew Carey ... OHIO!!!1!!

I thought I could squeeze a few more aliases out of you, since I was enjoying them so terribly much, but I guess not. If you think of one later, please feel free to share it whenever it comes together.

I couldn't possibly wait to update, though the time that has passed, and the beers that have passed through my urethra since then may convolute the stories. Sorry, was that gross? Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that the Addison Circle is coming together. Premier new members? Namely Miles, Brett Sandy and Todd (although Todd's application is still under geographical review). Then there was Daniel and Kelly (?). They are my neighbors across the street.

So the story. Brett Sandy and I have been wanting to hang out ever since I got back from Sweden and just now decided to carpe the diem and giterdone. He came over under the premise that we would drink and watch movies and see what happened. Well, what happened is that Miles and Todd were enjoying the Dallas Wind Symphony (which ended up being a 5 piece brass band) down in the Circle. We joined them for a bit, listened to the Sousa, and then I went to get some liquor and beer. When we were walking into my apartment to enjoy said booze, we got whistled at. Who does that? There were two boys and a girl sitting on the stoop across the street, so Todd yelled at them, "Which one of ya'll whistled." Well it turned out to be Jordan, who came up to say hello and invite us to come across to join their party at Daniel's. Gay neighbor a stone's throw away? Huzzah.

So we went and drank and chatted and then they brought out the Roor. I'm not sure I can adequately describe the Roor. It was the biggest, most intricate bong ever constructed. I swear to g*d, they all but brought out the welding torch to put this thing together. It had like 3 water reservoirs in it. I've never seen anything like it. This coming from the guy who uses a bong as a flower vase -- and nothing but a flower vase -- go figure.

It's not often that SideshoViD.com delves into the seedy underbelly of drug consumption, and it won't be through my own personal experience that we go there, but we do have to talk a bit about Mr. Sandy. As you might expect, Brett Sandy is SABULOUS. He is both Sandy and gritty. He decided to puff-puff-pass for the first time given the circumstances. The combination of boxed wine, 100% agave tequila, vodka, beer and Mary Jane prooved too much for our fearless partier. Miles and I walked him home around midnight and put him in my bed. We could have just left him alone, but instead decided to interview him on video with Miles' digital camera to hilarious results. Can I get a copy of that, btw, Miles?

We rounded out the night just having a grand old time with about 6 of their friends and it must, must occur again. BUT, first I have to go to Cincinnati for 2 weeks following my trip to Austin this weekend. So I will be gone for 3 weekends in a row. Just as the Circle is rounding out! DAMNIT! I am going to find a hotel that definitely has high speed internet access (so I can work from the hotel room, duh) so I will surely be updating you all from the WONderous land of Ohio. I have a feeling it's the Oklahoma of the north. Ugh. But a change of scenery is a change of scenery. It's time to get horizontal. Peace, bitches.

There is a new name for my 'new' hair-do. It's called the breeze. Ryan Short and I came up with it because it appears as though an invisible breeze is constantly blowing from the right. I'm a big fan of the breeze and plan to take it to extremes that rival my fox hawk experimentation. Tonight I went to a barbeque at Eddie's house with a bunch of peeps. It was decided that I have to crimp my hair. This guy said he would buy me a crimper if I would go out with my hair crimped. I'm going to see if I can get that started. How fucking funny would that be? Very.

I do need to make an appt to have my hair cut before AllieD's wedding. I'm thinking of going platinum, but I'm not entirely sure. I may let Xristofer have the final say since I'm always so damn happy with the results, but I am kind of tired of the dark. I can hide the fact that my blonde hair has grown out blonde highlights, but it's a little bit more obvious with the dark. All I know is that I want it to be so much longer than it is and I am convinced that it has stopped growing. Patience has never been my #1 virtue.

Had a pretty good weekend. Met lots of new neighbors that could be pretty fun. Drank lots and lots of beer. Watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith with no sound (review to follow). All in all, not too shabby. Tomorrow I go to the doctor to get my apnea fixed. I cannot wait. Plus, I'll leave work early. Hurrah!

This weekend I went to my first, only, and therefore best, bachelorette party ever. Miss AllieD is getting married in August and came up to Dallas where her maid-of-honor lives to celebrate. It was only natural that she invite me to join. I was rather surprised at how many people were incensed by the fact that I was attending a bachelorette party. Hello? Welcome to 2005. We are adults and we can do whatever the fuck we want.

The night started off with some wine and some Asshole. I was the President the entire time because I rule. Plus, it was kind of my first time in recent memory to play the game, so AllieD gave me some advice that was GOLD, Jerry, GOLD! After that, AllieD, Kelley, Jennifer, Ann Marie and I drove down to Monica's in Deep Ellum. At first, I wasn't too fond of the place. They had a live band playing, but the band was playing SO loud that all conversation was rendered useless. You could sit, eat chips, and smile at each other, that was about it. Then they started up the congo line. If you joined the congo line, as you passed by the front door, they grabbed your head and poured tequila into your mouth. Good tequila. That changed my opinion but quick! Shit, I wouldn't mind prison if they came by periodically while I was digging ditches and poured tequila in my mouth.

From there, it was on to Station 4 for the drag show. Pretty clever, eh? Having a bachelorette party at a gay club. Wrong! There were no less than 6 wedding parties there. So many, in fact, that all the brides-to-be were invited on stage and asked inappropriate questions. AllieD was quite entertaining, though I won't divulge the dirty little secrets she revealed on stage. *WINK*

It really was fun though. I haven't gotten drunk with AllieD in 4eva. The wedding in August should be even more fun. It's in Austin so I'm taking B-randon with me. Before I go, you may be worrying yourself over why I'm blogging at 2pm. No, I didn't get fired yet. My humidifier is coming today, so I'm home to accept the package, and I'm working from home, quote-unquote. I am watching Trigger Happy TV and laughing my ass off. This lady is dressed like a waitress and walking around the city asking people if they want fresh ground pepper. Trust me, it's hilarious. Peace.

UPDATE: My humidifer came and it is FUCKING BROKEN! The fan inside is all effed up and I plugged it in without noticing. A few minutes later, I smelled something acrid, so I went and checked on it and found it billowing smoke. I don't have a hollow hexagonal screw driver to open the thing up, so I'm going to have to ship it back and then wait for another one. FUUUUUUUUUUCCCKCKKKKKCKCCKC!!!!1!

This weekend I went down to Houston for my niece's 1st birthday party. It was pretty fun. She is entirely too cute. Entirely. She really liked the helium filled balloons. In fact, when she saw one, she was ecstatic. When her uncle brought out a bunch of about 40 balloons we literally thought she might explode. I've never heard such primal elation as I did from the squeal that erupted from her lips. Priceless.

The party raged on long after Kaylyn had gone to bed. There was much liquor and beer, but I really hadn't had but one drink by the time I got a text message from a friend asking if I wanted to sneak away. I really did. It wouldn't have been a problem so he said he would call me as soon as he left a party and then we could get together. Around 12:30am I realized he wasn't going to call and I had, once again, been ditched.

I've been thinking about this for a while. This is hardly the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. This is the straw that kicked the camel while he was already dead because you couldn't teach him a new trick to drink water squeezed from a turnip. If you want to know the truth, I get ditched, dodged, or stood up about 2 or 3 times a week. Anytime I make plans with someone, my faith that they will actually call or come wanes every single time my pessimism is proven correct. First, I thought maybe it was because I was relying too heavily on others to remember. But after a significant number of unanswered phone calls, unheard voicemails, unread text messages and ignored IMs, I decided that wasn't the problem.

But, it is indeed my fault. I've 180ed so drastically from the angry little shit I used to be that I've actually overcompensated into an equally undesirable extreme. Nothing bothers me. Nothing. It doesn't matter what you do to me, I will be over it forgiven and forgotten before you can say "taken advantage of." I thought what I was doing was being a really nice guy, always understanding, never quick to anger. Instead what I've realized I did was effectively lower the standard of friends that I have. You know that if you leave me hanging, the next time you see me, I probably won't even mention it. In this persistent pattern I have become responsible for the unreliability of those around me.

And I apologize. I promise it won't happen anymore.

I decided to stay home tonight for a couple different reasons. First, I just had such a riotous time on Wednesday that I wasn't exactly itching to go out on Friday. Secondly, I'm broke as a joke. I had to take money out of the untouchable savings this pay period to last me until the next. Don't worry though, I've already scheduled to have it automatically repay the amount that I borrowed. So I sat home and watched TV and nestled down with a big bottle of wine... the worst wine I have ever tasted. I am now on my third glass and it is still nearly unbearable.

The show of the night was Will & Grace. It was the episode where they've lost their ho-mojo and can no longer dominate game night with their friends. It reminded me so much of when Ryan and Todd and I would host Pictionary nights at the Green Monster and how much I fucking rule at Pictionary and I felt obliged to share this with you all.

I have one prime example for you all that I will never forget. It was when Fucking Frank was my partner and we were a good half of the board ahead of everyone else. We were unstoppable ... why, I may never understand. We had a sixth, or maybe even a seventh, sense about the clues. This particular round was an All-Play. That means that every team was drawing the same clue trying to win control of the board. I wasn't too concerned since we were the champions of All-Play, but this was really stumping everybody else. They were drawing things like I've demonstrated thus far. People were guessing frantically -- everything from "jailbird" to "Nike." Frank took his time, and I sat silently waiting for him to finish his drawing. (If this story seems drawn out its mostly because I have to put enough words in between the pictures to space them out.) Anyway, it wasn't long before he drew this:

And I immediately guessed, "The Fugitive!" after which we high fived and rolled the dice. It's ridiculous how good I am at Pictionary.

Before we begin -- everyone did realize that all of those people in the picture from yesterday were also celebrating their birthdays, right? Right? I've had a few people who thought I just threw together random celebrities and my friend Kevin to make myself a birthday poster or something. Sometimes I overestimate you people.

Speaking of overestimation ... my birthday. Good things first. Started getting phone calls, text messages, IMs and comments on my webpage and myspace starting at midnight and continuing throughout the day. I was pleasantly surprised by how many people remembered (my constant reminders having very little to do with it I'm sure). So thank you to everybody who made me feel special yesterday.

Great birthday. About the birthnight, though.... I won't use any names because nobody especially did anything wrong, it was just the sheer number of people who crapped out on me that it almost reduced me to putting on pajamas and taking 24 tequila shots in bed. I had people tell me they were tired. I had people tell me they had no money. I had people just say, 'Noooooo I'm not going out.' Somebody said they couldn't go and then called back and said, 'My other friend just invited me out so now I'm going.' Some people did just the opposite fervently promising to make an appearance only to call and say they'd changed their minds. Those are the ones that did call, some just never showed. Some people wouldn't even answer their phones or return text messages and voicemails. Talk about demoralizing.

Birthdays are just about my favorite thing in life. It's just such a perfect thing to celebrate. It's one day of the year that is uniquely yours despite the fact that you probably share it with 1/365th of the world. I have always bent over backwards to make sure my friends have good birthdays. I've dropped hundreds of dollars on gifts and parties and booze. I've gone out even when I'm tired, even when I'm poor, even when I have to work the next day. And I don't do it because I expect a reward in return; I do it because I truly enjoy it. I just thought given the circumstances that at least one of my friends might do the same for me. Apparently I was wrong.

Ooooor was I? Enter knights in shining armor. Haggerty and his boyfriend Sean, who had not planned on venturing out last night, but upon hearing that it was my birthday decided to go, and ultimately take me out. I had so much fun with them. The belt was scrolling "ITS MAH BIRFDAY" all night long. I met Rocky who was also celebrating his 24th birthday. How fun is that? Drank a lot. A lot. I spent the night on Hag's couch and woke up deliciously hungover around 1:00 to drive home. I took this whole day off from work, which is so fun. I gotta skip work more often.

So all in all, I would put this one in the win column. This blog seriously just took me nearly 6 hours to write. I have been falling asleep periodically all day long. Best day ever. Czech you skillets later.

Well hello there, everybody. This is Sidesho reporting to you live from Ryan Short's fabulously newly painted apartment ... oh, and also drunk as hail. He was supposed to wake up and drink more with me when I got home but that has proven unpossible. Me fail English?

So tonight I had planned on going out on account that I do not have to work tomorrow. RAWK! But then, lo and behold, I get a call from the callbox of my apartment and it is JennyCole and her mother. They had been at the Kaboom Town hoopla hosted by my gracious landlord and wanted to cool off. Okay, no problem. But then they managed to convince me to join them for the fireworks. More and more, as the years pass, I have found myself less and less interested in the traditional festivities dictacted by every holiday. I couldn't have cared less whether or not I saw fireworks. (Although fireworks do hold a special place in my heart since when I was little my parents used to tell me that the fireworks were in honor of my birthday.) So, I find myself on the top floor of a parking garage watching fireworks. In their defense, it was the best finale I have ever seen in my life. Probably 5 fireworks a second for about 5 minutes. RAD!

After that, we eat at a piss-poor restaurant inside Addison Circle and then I go home. Turns out, every fucking road in Addison is a parking lot. At this point, I've resolved myself to not go out, on account that I cannot leave the parking garage. A few IMs with Ryan Short later, I am on the road bound for downtown Dallas. It was rigoddamndiculous getting to the Tollway, but when I finally did, we were en route to JRs. Keith and Lauren and some girl named Katie that I met for the first time tonight (?) joined us. I managed to get drunk as hail between 12:30 and 2:00am. But that couldn't possibly be enough for me, right? Right?!

So I took Ryan Short home to his beatiful and newly painted apartment and proceeded to drink some more when disaster struck. We are out of cigarettes! Unacceptable when plastered. So he goes to bed and I walk my happy ass to the 24-7 Wally Mart nearby to get some. I talked to my lover Marshall the whole way there. That was fun since I haven't talked to him in 4-eva, and he claims to have blonde hair now. So anyway, I bought some squares, as Joseph would call them, and then walked home to find Ryan - surprise - passed the fuck out and me drinking alone.

So there we are. By my records, I have made zero grammatical mistakes. You're more than welcome to double check that assertion. You'll notice that when I'm drunk I just ramble; I don't skimp on the important stuff. Please don't forget that my birthday is on Wednesday. No one that I know of has made any plans for me, so I think I'm going to take Thursday off of work and go out Wednesday with Andrew. I'll definitely keep you all posted on that. Later sk8ers!

Since I've been back to working in the office every day, I've also started tanning again. The salon I go to is kind of far from my apartment, but it's right on the way home from work. I know nobody will ever notice except for me, but it's really starting to work. It's a subtle change from sickly pale to really pale, but it does wonders for my self esteem. I like knowing that I'm getting tanner. Not like Danny Tanner, but maybe like DJ Tanner.

Long ago when I lived with Keith he told me what I still consider to be one of the funniest things ever said. He was going to get a turn table, learn how to spin, and then call himself DJ Tanner. And I would join him up on stage under my psuedonym, DJ Connor. Wouldn't everyone in the world come to see us? And the flyer design would be obvious.

I didn't end up having that party this weekend. Hudler's parents went out of town and he couldn't leave his dog alone overnight. I'm not sure what that's all about but we had to reschedule. Instead, I hung out with Thommi who came to visit me. We did the normal weekend of window shopping and drinking. I got crabs.

Thommi got popcorn shrimp.

My brother went to some flea market in Humble and found a vendor with a bunch of belt buckles. When he saw this one, he thought of me and bought it for me. Luckily I still have my old cowboy belt to slap it onto and I wore it out on Friday. I called Stephen to tell him I was pimpin' the van buckle but that I couldn't tuck my shirt in or else I'd look stupid. He said, "Then just tell your friends about it when you see them and show them." The first thing I did when I got to Ryan Short's apartment was lift up my shirt and say, "Did you see my belt buckle?" and when he started laughing, I followed it up with, "Idn't that wild? You ever seen anything like dat?" Wouldn't you know, I ended up saying that to everyone I saw on Friday ... and Saturday. Idn't that funny how alcohol can bring out the obnoxious catch phrases that are living inside you, dying to get out? Idn't that wild? I just wanted Steve to know that I do like the belt buckle and I definitely did make sure everyone saw it.

The other thing I wanted to show you was my new Beethoven bust. When we were in Wisconsin we went to my grandmother's old house and were invited to loot anything we wanted. This had been on her piano for many, many, many years. I just knew it would look awesome on my shelves in my living room. I think I was right. It adds just a touch of class. This morning I got a productivity bug (also known as a hangover) and decided to touch up the red paint in my living room that I originally put on the wall months ago. Now all the edges are cleeeeaaaan. I still have to do my entire bedroom, but I just never got around to it. I will probably do that in the coming days. Well, that's enough for the picture pages. Hope you enjoyed your visit to my apartment (and my crotch).

When I first heard the big news, I was like, "Backstreet's back?... Alright."

The last two nights I have gone out on the town with Mr. Sean Wardle and both nights have lead us on the meandering path of alcoholic revelry. Friday, I went to happy hour right after work, and I went to bed around 5am, which constituted 12 hours of consistent drinking. I am such a hoss. And I had the hangover to prove it. Sitting in my apartment with a pounding head and aching stomach, and nothing to assuage the pain, I did the only logical thing -- I got on Albertsons.com and delivered some groceries. Now I have more varieties of juice than you can shake a stick at ... and you can sure shake a stick at a lot of juice.

Last night was really the piece de resistance, Sean's swansong, if you will. The club was a blast; I sure am going to miss Sean when he moves back to Idaho-no-youdaho. We mostly just sat in the Rose Room and watched the drag show. The real fun was when we finally left the club as Sean begged me to take him to Whataburger (as if 6 taquitos the night before were not enough). I really just wanted to head straight home. We really didn't even have to compromise as the solution to the situation presented itself in the form of the hot dog vendor on Cedar Springs. I was his very first credit card transaction lo those months ago, and he has always remembered me and talked to me every time I am around.

We proceeded to consume 8 hotdogs amongst myself, Sean, and Ryan Haggerty. Sean was by far the champion, setting a new record of consuming 4 hot dogs and a bag of chips. I came in a close second with 3 and a bag of cookies. I had my camera with me so I was able to document the triumphant ingestion of Sean's 4th fucking hotdog. The picture came out so damn cute that I just wanna print it out and get a kitchy frame for it and put it next to my bed. Okay, I'm never really gonna do that, so I photoshopped it all for you so you wouldn't have to use your imaginations. Cue the music, "Meeeeemories...."

Today the groceries arrived, so I've been chowing down on yogurt (mmm, not even later, it's the kind with fruit on the bottom), cottage cheese, and juice. Today is my mommy's birthday and I get to go to dinner with her and my daddy ... did somebody say steak? More on that, after these messages....

I've decided to kind of split up the next few blogs into a few different entries. If I were to try and tell you all about my week in one, it would be far, far too long. I'll try to do it in under 5 though, so they can all remain on the main page. Hopefully you've scrolled to the end so you can read them in order.

So Thursday night we decided to treat ourselves to a last-night-in-Malmo type of party. Keith and I went to the Pickwick, the only pub we found that had a true "Happy Hour" as we understand it. I brought my camera with me because I had failed to take a single picture the entire two weeks. I felt so stupid stopping and taking pictures of stuff we'd passed a hundred times before. There is nothing to transform yourself into the perfect tourist like a few Heine pints. We were snapping pictures of everything and everyone and laughing our asses off. So now it's time for dinner.

We would meet Paul the Englishman and the Dweeb in the lobby every night at 7 before we walked to dinner. So around 7 Paul comes down before the Dweeb and we all kind of looked at each other and at the same time said, "Let's go!" Well, really, Paul said, "Shall we?" but same idea. We decided that for our last meal we would enjoy some free time from the Dweeb and it was a great time. We had many more beers with dinner before heading to our favorite little Irish pub for some darts. I was so on fire the first round. They were both like, "Damn, you did learn a lot the other night." But trust me, friends, as the time went on and the beers went down, I started having trouble even hitting the fucking board. It was getting sad so I had to excuse myself.

The next day I was so hungover and tired. I was pretty much just blatantly sleeping at my desk without trying to hide it. What were they gonna do about it? Around 2 I split a cab with Paul the Englishman and we went to the Copenhagen airport at Kastrup. We said our goodbyes and split ways to find our gates. I had a couple hours to kill so I decided to exchange some money into Euros when a familiar voice said, "Better yet, why don't you waste those Kroner on pints?" Oh, Paul the Englishman! He'd found me as we both waited for our flights so we sat and got drunk one last time. It was pretty good for my nerves because I had no fucking idea what I was doing or why. Just going to Paris for the fuck of it. Tres not my style. So off I went into the great unknown. I still miss Sweden, but as you'll see ... it was not the best part of my vacation afterall....

For once, I am going to make good on a future-blog promise and tell you all about the dweeb we are here with. He has a lot of names, actually. Dweeb, Poindexter, Imp, and Alfred E. Newman. I wasn't aware of this fact, but apparently Alfred E. Newman is the name of the character on the front of MAD Magazine. This kid looks EXACTLY like him; I'm so not even kidding. Buckteeth, big ears, and stupid butt-cut hairdo. Normally I wouldn't make fun of someone for the way they look, but after two weeks, this kid is on my last fucking nerve. And you all know what a nice guy I am. Right? ... Right? Fuck you.

Everything I describe is probably going to sound really petty, but it's just one of those things where it wears on you and wears on you until he can do no right. I find myself disagreeing what whatever he says, just for the sake of disagreeing. So far on this trip, we have been doing a lot of drinking. I mean a lot of drinking, and yet, I have only been drunk once (Friday night). They just have a wealth of great beers and we've been stopping into a pub to enjoy a beer or two with Paul the Englishman. We knew we were in trouble the first night when Poindexter ordered water at the bar. "I'm not much of a drinker." He stared as us the entire time we were there until he finally excused himself early. He does that every night now, always in bed by 8. What a waste of a vacation. "Fancy that," Paul said, "Not even being able to enjoy one beer when he's in a pub."

We've made sure everyone here knows he's not a typical American. "He's not a typical anything," seems to be the common response. So he don't drink, he don't smoke, and he goes to bed early every night. Aight, whatever. He'd also never played pool before in his life. Now I'm no pool shark. Being as I grew up with a table maybe I should be, but I still warn people before I play them that I am "no good." So when he warned us he was "no good" I thought he meant he would miss some of the long shots, or suck at banking, or not really know how to use English on the cue ball. HA! If he knew HOW TO USE THE CUE BALL. This fool steps up to the table, grabs the cue stick about halfway down the shaft leaving a huge dead weight behind him he can barely control and takes aim at the 12 ball. Unfathomable. No matter how bad you are, you should at least know to hit the white ball.

Aight, whatev. Maybe biljards aren't his thing. So we play darts another night. Kid has never thrown a dart in his life nor does he have any concept of how to play. Incidentally, I am pretty good at darts now after playing almost every night with Keith and Paul. The other night we were at our favorite little bar here and this guy came in and asked if maybe he could play with us on teams. Sure, what the hell. This dude ends up being ranked like #8 in all of Scandinavia. It was the most incredible thing I've ever seen. We were playing cricket and he would close out like 3 numbers each turn. The guy could tell you where his dart was gonna go and it would go there. I can tell you which quadrant of the board I'll land in, not much more. Keith and Paul headed back to the hotel but I wanted to play more darts so I stayed out late learning from this guy. I improved my game like 100 fold. I was nailing 1 or 2 triple 20's every throw. It was fun.

This is going to be the longest blog ever. Bear with me. So now he's not much of a drinker, not much of a smoker, not much of a pool player, and not much of a darts player. These are starting to add up. But I guess that's cool that he likes to be responsible during the week. That's understandable. The weekends, though, that's when the fun begins. Foreign country, dude! What happens in Sverige, stays in Sverige, right? There's a casino here that I suggested maybe we could check out. Unfortunately, he's "not much of a gambler." Good fuckin' xrist. So I invited him out to Étage with me. He's "not much of a club goer." On Monday when he asked me how my weekend was I said, "Omega, crazy fun. You?" "Well... I don't know how crazy it was [ed: all condescending like] but I saw some parks and canals and really interesting stuff." The only thing homeboy did all weekend was walk around town like we've done a thousand times before. The parks are just empty squares scattered around town, and the canal is just a canal. Nothing to see there.

I don't care if somebody is a nerd, though, as long as they're cool. This guy is nothing of the sort. We went out pretty late on Thursday and that Friday I was a little late to breakfast, a little achy, and a little dehydrated and he says to me, "Heh, that's what you get for starting your weekend on Thursday," a reference to my earlier description of how often I drink which goes: "Monday is Funday, Tuesday is Boozeday, Wednesday is Humpday and Thursday starts the weekend!" If my head hadn't been swimming, I would have jumped over the table and beat him. Then the other day walking back from lunch, Keith and I were enjoying our post-meal cigarettes. He gets this smirk on his face. That's how you can tell he's about to say something that will inevitably be fucking stupid, but he thinks it's clever. He turns to us and says, "You know, I hear that lung cancer is a painful way to die." And I said, "You know, I hear running your fucking mouth is a painful way to die." ... Okay, I didn't say that but I did think of it later.

The four of us go to dinner together every night. It's the most painful part of the day because we have to sit there with the dweeb. He is such a conversation killer. Anything we talk about he kills by saying something retarded, so we generally eat in silence waiting for him to go back to the hotel and then we talk about our days. And we've all kind of taken a turn picking up the tab. We are expensing our meals so it's all free, and if you pick up the tab for a co-worker, that can go under entertainment expenses. And since the only things we really have to talk about are work-related, that's totally kosher. And since I've only paid for dinner about every third night, accounting will certainly notice that I've had my tab picked up other people enough to further justify my reciprocation. Right now you should be thinking to yourself, every third night? Didn't you say there were four of you?" Man, I can't get anything by you. Poindexter refuses to pick up a tab. We started noticing the pattern after the first week and talked about it after he left. We agreed he was OBVIOUSLY the most socially inept person alive so he probably didn't realize he needed to pick one up. So we blatantly said, "Alright dude, it's your turn tonight." And he refused!

He is afraid that he won't be able to expense it since it's entertainment, although I suspect he just has moral conflicts with paying for beer. But still, come on, we all work for the same fucking company, they WILL reimburse it. Especially if you haven't paid for a since dinner yet since you've been to Sweden. g*d, this kid pisses me off. He's just one of those people that when you catch him looking at you, you just kinda wanna smash his face in. But you don't because you are a pacifist.

You should see him at breakfast. It's one of the oddest things I've ever seen. Dude will get about 12 slices of bread ... all different kinds. And he'll proceed to eat them... dry... with nothing to drink. And when he's done with that, he gets up and gets a bowl full of this granola-nut-muesli cluster concoction. It's very hearty, European cereal. He proceeds to eat the whole bowl ... dry. I like it just fine, but I soak mine with milk for a while before I eat it or else I just feel like a horse. And when he's done with that, he gets up and gets a plate full of crackers... and eats them dry. He is so fucking weird.

He actually reminds me a lot of my fourth college roommate, Clark. He's got that same irritating manner about him, which leads me to suspect this kid is a hardcore x-tian. Thank jebus I only have to see him one more day, and then with any luck, never, never again.

Last night I got a call from my old friend Karen who has now moved to Dallas and lives just blocks away from me. I decided to take her to mine and Ryan Cloutier's special little place -- The New Amsterdam Coffeehaus. They have all kinds of fun beers. Unfortunately for me, they are all 8 or 9 percent alcohol so I wasn't quite in control of my consumption. When it was time to leave, we were talking to two guys that had a table next to ours. One of them had a cool jacket and he let me try it on.

As we were leaving, I had to pause briefly to throw up on the street, and consequently my shoes. How unbecoming. Then, the confusion begins. For some reason after this display of public intoxication, the four of us decided to go back to my apartment all the way in Addison. What's additionally confusing is that the guy whose jacket I wore drove me and followed Karen and his friend. Why wouldn't we have ridden with the people we knew? Who thinks to themselves, "This guy just douched out a planter, I think I'd like him in my truck!"

Alas, he paid for his affability. As we were cruising up Central Expressway, I had to roll down the window and puke out the side of a strangers truck going 70mph in the rain. When I was finished, I put a 10 dollar bill in the console of his car. He rather angrily said, "Don't insult me," and threw it back at me. "I'm not trying to buy your forgiveness," I replied, "I'm trying to buy you the super ultra deluxe car wash." He laughed and accepted my meager compensation.

When we got home, I emulated Lil Jarrod last weekend. Lil Jarrod just turned 21 and I had the esteemed honor of driving him to dinner and then to the bars where we met up with some friends. I also had the esteemed honor of bringing him home, which involved carrying him to my apartment, and holding his hair while he regurgitated the evening. So there I was, layin on the wonderfully cold tile next to the toilet. Who knows how long I was there. I woke up this morning in bed fully clothed, but not fully aware.

I wonder how long they all hung out in my apartment. I could call Karen but I'm a tad embarassed. Tonight I'm mosdef just takin it easy and cleaning. Although cleaning, combined with the flier attached to my door, have convinced me that it is time to hire a maid. It's unacceptable to clean every 3 months. Maria could do it once a week. I'll probably look into that when I get back from Europe. I'll be in Sweden in exactly a week, but I'll have internet access so it'll be like I'm not even gone.

One last random observation. I was driving through a school zone and I looked at the crosswalk sign. Isn't it odd that the man and woman are both carrying attaché cases? Who does that? And why hasn't some rednek complained that the man has a purse yet. Think about it. Peace.

Last night was such a hoot. I tell ya. It was the official opening of the spring party season hosted by Brian and Jarrod. As double duty, Jarrod was also celebrating a birthday, so happy birthday to him! I began the evening by attending a party in Addison Circle that I had been "invited" to via a myspace.com bulletin board message from some guy named Dan Paul. It's so unlike me, but it was an art showing/party and it was right here. So I went and checked it out. Lindsay accompanied me. There was some cool shit there. One guy had a painting of Ziggy Stardust that was unreal. If it hadn't have been 650 dollars I would have bought it. I still might.

From there I went to the birthday party downtown. We drank, we laughed, we went to the bars. We drank more. I was just a shade light of shitcanned by the end of the night. I had a little bit of trouble walking but not too much. Ryan and I bought hotdogs from a street vendor who took credit cards. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Cheese and rice. Except he didn't have any rice.

This morning we eventually woke up. I felt/looked terrible. But we went to brunch with Adam. They have free mimosas with brunch. Shut up, I drank like 12. A good buzz sure took the edge off my hangover. I most definitely came home and went to bed.

Are you sitting down? It's been a while since I've said this, but ... some very exciting things are happening at SideshoViD.com and it's about fucking time. Expect an all new design sometime within the next week.

And lastly, have any of you ever been to The Perry Bible Fellowship's website? Click there to read some of the most hilarious comics you couldn't possibly imagine. This guy is my own personal cheese and rice. There is one cartoon (that was too wide for me to post here without messing up my columns) where the kid is wearing a shirt that says "UNICORN POWER." I was jealous of it, so I got on eBay to find myself my own unicorn shirt. That's what this picture is. It should be shipping tomorrow and I am way, way too excited.

Hope you all had a fab weekend. Take 'er easy, and if she's easy, take 'er twice. Laaaaaaate.

First things, first. Happy Birthday Ryan Short! So yay. We spent last night celebrating said birthday, which may be why I didn't wake up until 2pm today. Just a hunch. Ryan said that all he wanted was beer, pizza, and a few friends. So Sean, being the clever little devil that he is, organized a dinner down at the State and Allen Lounge consisting of discounted pizzas, domestics, and a whole slew of friends. It was a really nice time. After that we went to JRs for a smidge and then to S4.

When we went into S4, half of the No-Fun Room (aka the Non-Smoking Room) was all corded off with bouncers guarding the entrances. I thought maybe some big movie star like Richard Gere or Tom Cruise might be there. Turns out it was the cast of Bravo's new spin-off makeover show, Queer Girl for the Straight Lesbian. Mmmk, not only does this show not live up to its predecessor, but it takes dumpy nasty girls and has a lesbian give them fashion tips. It's just not good, sorry Bravo. And the cherry on top? It's been on the air for all of two weeks. I hardly think they needed to rope off an area for the 'stars.' If somebody hadn't pointed them out and had they not been sectioned off, I would have NEVER recognized them, and I've seen every episode.

That being said, we were standing in a group as they paraded into their "VIP" section, and I stood and watched each one walk by. That is, until the one I like walked by, so I stuck my hand out and introduced myself to him. I don't remember his name. Don't care. But he did say it was nice to meet me. You can see here in the artist's depiction of the scene what happened. I'm such a celebrity magnet its, like, not even funny.

The reason I am online is because I brought my work computer home for the weekend. I'm probably going to get in trouble for chatting and checking email and stuff on it. Then again, who am I kidding, I could burn down a building and get a slap on the wrist. This week I have to go out to DFW Airport for a few days to install some controllers I programmed. I despise wearing a hard hat, but at least on this job site I get a bright orange vest as well. Ugh. The things I do for money. Speaking of money, I wonder if I have any left... Later skanks.

I am contacting you all from the year two thousand and fabulous five ... oooohhhh. Rang in the thang with a bang, and then a hang ... over. Pacey McSipperson came up to hang out with me. I apologize for the code names, but his massive web of lies has engulfed me. We went out to the Velvet Hookah Thursday with Allison and Noah, and Kieffer showed up. Disaster! The service was the worst I've ever experienced, the drinks were so weak we had to send them back to have them put liquor in them, and my tab was 100 fucking dollars. If I spend 100 dollars at a bar, I expect to at least catch a buzz. I will have to be more weary of the help the next time I go. Owen's friend Joanna's friend Aaron has always been a good bartender, and he's more fun to look at.

After all that nonsense we went out to the bars and got drunk. I accidentally didn't make it to work at all on Friday, which is an unprecedented first for me (at this particular job). I hope no one noticed. I might have to sacrifice a vacation day if they did. That or be fired, whichever. Friday was New Years, so Debbie Downer and I went shopping for new outfits. We both got the coolest shirts from Source Paris in the West Village. Everyone go shop there. Their clothes are incredible. Adam was stalking us the entire time.

Went out with the crew, much of the DS Crew was out as well. Hit up Station 4, henceforth to be referred to as S4. There was much revelry to be had, although at midnight I didn't get a kiss. Instead I got a dirty look from Glarin' Thomas right before he ditched me. So now I'm walking around the club by myself looking for my friends. I found them though and all was well in 2005. Next night, much of the same. Went to S4, got ditched by Shady McDitcherson and entertained myself until Glarin' Sean called me over to Round Up. I met a bunch of A&M people so that was fun.

Enough narrative though. To sum it up, I've spent an exorbitant amount of money and drank an unhealthy level of beer, vodka and wine. I also painted two walls in my living area red like my kitchen. I love it. But you have to wait to see it until I finish painting the rest of it tan. It'll look much better then. Get excited!

Last bit of news, I went to this website because they had an advertisement on myspace. It's too fun. Everyone go to Neighborhoodies.com and buy me something. Then we'll see whose hoodie or tshirt fits my personality the best and that person will win. If you need my shipping address let me know.

If there's anything I like more than getting vacation days from work, it's making my own vacation days. Like right now, for instance. I'm totally supposed to be at work, but I'm not. Nor do I intend to go back any time soon. You see, I woke up around 9, on account that I had a lot to drink last night. And since I wasn't at my own apartment, I was significantly tardy to work, but I brought kolaches so nobody cared. Then I took a nap, and when I woke up, I realized that I was sick of being there, so I came home. Get an education, kids, and you too can live this fabulous lifestyle.

I've watched some good ass TV today. First I watched that episode of Saved By The Bell where they drink at the toga party and then Zach wrecks Lisa's mom's car. It was really hard hitting. Zach keeps his cell phone in his locker because it's too effing huge to carry it with him. Now I'm watching Jerry Springer: "MY UNCLE STOLE MY WIFE!" It's fantastic. This is what my life has come to. I am going to go back to work eventually, though, so don't worry.

On the way home today, I saw a tricked out Cavalier. A straight up, tricked out, pimped out Chevrolet Cavalier! It was so fucking sweet. It had flames down the side and shit. I am way jealous. After I get back from Australia and have all new furniture, I am so going to mod my Cavy.

This week is absolutely dragging by. There is so little to do at work that I'm basically going to put 40 hours this week on the overhead account. No managers are there, so I just kinda sit and stare at the wall. Good thing I learned how to do this effectively during my first couple months here. I hope every one of my readers is having as big of an impact on the world as me. Laaaaaaaaaate.

Could Ryan Short's Holidaze Party been any better? Absolutely not. His apartment decorations were so cute, they even had me in a festive X-mas mood. Either that or my new red scarf from the Gap. And by the way your mom says hi.

We did a Secret Santa exchange. I drew Lil' Jarrod for my recipient. I got him a double chambered flask with his name engraved on the front. I think he liked it. Ha. Sean Wardle got me several pairs of argyle socks. He learned during our trip to College Station that argyle socks are one of my favorite things about life. And these are nice socks. I'm not being facetious or anything. The first time I put a pair on I thought o myself, "Damn, these are nice socks." He also got me a T-shirt espousing the virtues of the Cavalier - The Champagne of Cars! I rounded out the evening drinking a whole bunch of wine and just a few sips of the candy cane martinis. Thanks for another fabulous party Ryan!

You've all seen the List-Eater, right? The chick who cut in line to pull tickets for the Cotton Bowl and when she was challenged with the list of people who had been camping out for 4 days, she ate the list. When I heard about it, I chuckled. But then Brianne up in Chicago sent me the video. It was then that I realized I know the List-Eater! She's Michael Wise's fiance. He is in my major and we used to work together back when I was doing that NASA thing a few summers ago. That made it absolutely hilarious. [Click here] for the official List-Eater video. I sent it to everyone in my office today and they all thoroughly enjoyed it.

And our final piece of news. I signed up for Netflix! It was spur of the moment. I saw a commercial for it and logged on and signed up. I now have 86 movies in my queue and I rated over 400 movies. I didn't really think I could have possibly seen that many movies since every movie I've seen I've seen about 4,000 times. Go figure. I should be adding a lot to that list soon as I'm going to make a habit of watching a movie every night instead of whatever crap happens to be on TV. As soon as I start getting my movies shipped to me, I may start reviewing them on my website. We shall see.

Alright sluts, I'm gonna go veg out for a while longer. Hope you all have a fantastic weekend.

What a week. What a weekend. What a time to be alive! This weekend I made the trek to College Station once again to celebrate Thanksgiving as well as Allison's graduation and bon voyage as she prepares to move to Australia. On the way down, I called Brandon to see how he was doing and he convinced me to swing through Austin and pick him up. That was a fuck load of driving in one weekend (with the traffic jams, I was in the car for 12.5 total hours this weekend). But, it was worth it to get to hang out with Brandon.

We arrived in CS on Friday around 10 and got ready to go out to Halo. Good times, good times. I had a completely empty stomach so I was trying to take it easy, which eventually didn't happen, but I did behave for an uncharacteristically long time. The next day we joined Allison as soon as the hangovers subsided and went to buy last minute supplies and a keg. I dropped even more money this weekend. Shit. Finances are in a dire situation. Dire meaning that I can't buy new jeans tomorrow if I want everyone to have a X-mas present, not dire I can't pay the rent. Even so, my lifestyle is compromised.

The party was a raging success, if I don't mind saying. We did a Trash Can Grab. This was new to me. We had a trash can full of ice and water and everyone brought a little something to throw into the trash can. Then you had to reach into the black abyss and drink whatever random alcohol you pulled out. At first, I thought our alcohol supply, which involved a plethora of wine from dinner, a keg, and the trashcan, was overkill, but we ended up drinking all of it. Thank you, thank you, thank you to Allison for being a most wonderful host, and thanks again to Dustin and Trey for putting me up for the weekend.

In other news HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY, #27!!!!1! Our little David27 is growing up, chronologically at least. This past Saturday, Dec. 11 was his 20th birthday. He's not a teenager any more. Congrats on surviving two decades. Mwah!

This week I have a Secret Santa party at Ryan Short's and a Nieman Marcus office party with Ryan Short. Then I'm not doing anything. Nor am I ever going out of town again. If you ever want to see me again you'll have to come to Addison.

I hope I don't piss any one off with this next comment, but I can't help but think about everyone taking finals right now... and how stressed out they must be, and how tired, and overworked, and sick of it, and just wanting to be done. And then I kick back, stretch out, open another beer, and sigh audibly. It is so nice to not be in school. I can't believe it's been six months since graduation. Time sure flies when you're skipping work. Peace out, sluts!

About three weeks ago they put a Krystal Burger near my apartment. Since then, the lines to eat inside have wrapped around the interior of the restaurant repeatedly until it was solid people. The drive-thru line went so far beyond wrapping around the building that the entrance to join the line was about 2 blocks away from the restaurant. Talk about your word of mouth! You couldn't get this shit for any less than a 2 hour wait. I decided to wait until the lines died down to go try it. It is on the way to my gym, so I was able to monitor the popularity every single night when I work out ... every single night.

Tonight on the way home, I noticed there was no line inside, so a few evasive maneuvers through traffic later, I was ordering my Krystal Burger Combo #1. Four hamburgers, fries, and a drink. In case any of you aren't from up north (or Addison) and don't know what Krystal burgers are, they are tiny little hamburgers that you're supposed to eat a bunch of at once. Okay, now the verdict.

*cue that People's Court theme song*

These burgers made me want to technicolor yawn ... I'm talkin liquid laugh all over the table. They were GROSS! Fuck! Don't waste your time on this shit. These hamburger patties make McDonalds patties look like t-bone fucking steaks. I did not take the time to measure them, but I would estimate their thickness at around half of a centimeter. And to top it all off, they weren't even good. There was more onion and pickle than meat. Of course, that's no surprise when you make your burgers out of beef stationary. In short: KRYSTAL BURGERS SUCK!

Next order of business... HAPPY 21ST FUCKING BIRTHDAY, THOMMI!!1!!1 Yay! Thommi is a real boy! Now when we hang out we can both indulge equally in that sweet, sweet elixer of life called alcohol. I'm going to go to College Station this weekend with Sean Wardle to take Thommi out to celebrate. Friday I'm taking Sean to Halo but Saturday, we're gonna pick up Thommi and go out to Northgate. Nothing too ornate or elaborate, but should be fun nonetheless.

Last item of business... AllieD just told me a little story about her education major friend, Jennifer. The AllieD Times describes her as "smart and beautiful and witty." The first time Jennifer read my webpage, she decided she was in love with me, despite us having never met. The only things she really knows about me are what I post online and what AllieD has told her, which has been extensive, granted. She sent this picture to AllieD to show how she pictures me.

AllieD, we need to talk about what you've been telling this girl.

My four day weekend is over. I am so not looking forward to work tomorrow. But I guess I should just accept it as an inevitability and carry on with my life. Thommi and Dan spent Friday and Saturday with me. We had way too much fun. There was much drinking, much socializing, much of the creme de la creme of Dallas explored. Shopping in the West Village was crazy. I sat and watched as these two boys dropped a collective grand on new digs ... money, I can assure you, they did not have to spare. How fun are they? I think my Shopping Hawk inspired them (a hair-do I invented just for the outting).

Have you ever noticed in movies when the phone lines are cut, they always pick up the phone and then repeatedly tap the little hanger-upper button? I haven't had a land line in many years, so maybe I'm a fool for asking, but does that ever help? Just once I'd like to see them be in a really scary sitch, pick up the phone with no dial tone, freak out, push the button and then have everything be fine. "Oh, that was scary, I thought for a second the phones were down, but they're not. Beeeeeeep. Booooooop."

I also fucking love those commercials where people speak to each other in phone tones. Hey, for those of you who find my webpage sacrelicious, good news:

It has become glaringly apparent that if I am going to successfully quit smoking, I am also going to have to quit drinking. I have a little experiment planned for a substance free month of my life. It won't be until February though ... because February is the shortest month, and this is going to be torturous. I'll get you some more details on that when the time arrives. Until then, hold your collective breaths, you have-nots.

Oh, joy! It's my favorite holy day once again! The day our lord and saviour, the turkey, willingly gave his life so we might enjoy eternal dressings. "Take this drumstick and eat it, for this is my body, gobble, gobble." The day Christopher Columbus killed all the Native Americans. He killed them all, great and small, so he could put their heads up on his wall. It was the day Chris Columbus killed all the Indians.

Now that we're finished with the history of Thanksgiving, I want to take a moment to discuss with all of you, the meaning of Thanksgiving. It's like I always say, "Tis better to thanksgive than to thanksreceive." Let's all try to keep that in mind this year. And I know, I know, the food is a big part of it. Who doesn't like to sit down at a table with a 24 pound roasted bird carcass, mashed potatoes made with heavy cream and butter and garlic, green bean casserole made with soup from the can (because any attempt to gourmet that up and no one will eat it), mac n cheese made from scratch, cranberry sauce nobody will touch but it has to be on the table anyway, french bread to sop up the leftover gravy made from stock, candied yams and pumpkin pies and AHHHHH I'm overstimulated. But with all of this, I still must contest that Thanksgiving is not just about the food.

It's about the booze.

The red wines, the white wines, the boxed wines in between. The smooth burn of a single malt scotch as it gives your stomach a welcome hug. The brandy soaked peaches. The cases upon cases of beer in the fridge "just in case" even though you know no one's leaving til they're gone. And this year, I made red roosters, a thing I saw Emeril do. Cranberry juice and orange juice concentrate and a whole lot of vodka, into a large pan and into the freezer. I kicked it up a notch by using raspberry vodka. I hope everybody likes it. BAM!

I am going to have a very Hoffmann Thanksgiving this year by spending it with my dear friend Allison and her parents (Krazy K and Big D) and the rest of her family. Should be a riot. I'm so excited I can barely sit still. I hope all of you have the most wonderful holiday with friends and family (because they're a part of the day too). Take a moment to think about this: for what are you most grateful this year? I know mine -- Johnny Walker Black.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good buzz!

Today is the American Cancer Society's National SmokeOut. The idea is that everyone in the world quits smoking at the same time. Since that will never, ever happen, they say that if you want to participate you can just quit for a day. I've decided to do that. It has nothing to do with the fact that I smoked half a pack last night over multiple glasses of wine and this morning I am completely hungover. No, it has to do with my love for my body and the environment.

While I was at www.cancer.org I was looking around at some of their anti-smoking campaigns and how they have evolved over the years. This one was my favorite. Look, people, the lamer you make your anti-smoking campaigns, the cooler and more counter-culture smoking becomes. Why do you think Phillip Morris is so willing to waste tons of money on trying to keep children from smoking? Because a 1980's inspired duck who says that 'tobacco is whacko' encourages kids to smoke. If you want to get people to quit, the solution is simple ... pass more legislation! Duh. Don't even get me started on the degradation of capitalism that is forcing businesses to ban smoking in public places. We'll discuss that in a different blog. Moral of the story is DON'T SMOKE (on November 18th, 2004).

Speaking of November 18th, not sure how many of you are remembering, but it was exactly 5 years ago today that the Aggie Bonfire collapsed. I was a freshman in college and had been worked into a frenzy over the anticipation of Bonfire since before I'd ever set foot on campus. We'd spent the night playing 3-Man in my room so everyone was too drunk and asleep at 3am when the crew chiefs came through the dorm pounding on doors to get people to help them pick up fallen logs off of the bodies of those trapped underneath. The next morning we were a little bewildered as we turned on the channel that had a 24 hour image of Bonfire and saw it on the ground. Then when I went out to the Polo Fields and realized that every white sheet draped over the logs was to hide a dead body, the enormity of what happened hit me. It still gets to me today ... It's getting to me right now as I type this.

We felt so helpless sitting there staring at the cranes. People walked around handing out drinks, sandwiches, sweatshirts, and anything else anyone needed since some people had stayed out there for days at a time. We tried to go give blood but every blood bank had lines wrapped around the block of people willing to wait. I think we set the Brazos Valley on blood for the next decade. It certainly took some air out of the game. Bonfire represented our burning desire to beat the hell out of t.u. but that didn't seem so important. We weren't even sure if we were supposed to enjoy the game.

That night instead of a yell practice we had a candle light vigil. When it was time to go into the stadium everyone took their candles with them, so instead of the image of lighters being held up that we were accustomed to, this is what we saw. I can't say it was a fun time to be an Aggie, but I'm glad I was a part of it so I could understand. That was the turning point for on-campus culture, and I was lucky to have experienced the way it used to be before all of that went away. Those of you in classes higher than 2003 just can't imagine what it was like.

That game was the greatest game that has ever been played. Everyone in the crowd, Aggies and longhorns, was so emotionally invested. We got the much needed win, needed emotionally, by the 12th Man completely disorienting their freshman quarterback. We all felt like we'd helped. But the best part was halftime. Normally we all sit down when the opposing band plays (the only time through the game that we sit). But at this game, the Texas band came out onto the field, played Amazing Grace, lowered their school's flags and raise an A&M flag. I never thought I would see the day when 80,000 Aggies would stand and whoop while the t.u. band played. It was an awesome moment, many tears were shed, and I am so grateful I got to be a part of it.

I don't really talk about Bonfire very much, because it still upsets me. But I thought it would be okay to share some memories on the anniversary of the fall. If you want, you can post a comment with some of your memories. It's important to remember.

My trip to College Station was a rousing success. I saw so many people that I haven't seen in forever. I met a bunch of new people too. And somewhere in the middle of those two experiences ... I met lots of people that I've known for years but never bothered to remember -- namely, ALL of Keiff's female friends. The drive down was a b-last. It's been so long since team Gill 'n Al have made a road trip. We rawked out the whole way. Trying to describe it in words will only fall short, but I'll just say that I almost passed out from singing the Moulin Rouge soundtrack too loud.

I don't want to go into too much narration about my weekend, but I did take a shower at Jason's, stop off at Dustin and Trey's, see Marshall at Hoblob (his hair is so hot now), check out Tommy's ultra chic downtown loft, visit Josh and Nely, and attend Burns' and Lauren's ring dunking party. Burns was pretty optimistic about beating my modest 65 second mark, but he fell quite short. I think he came in at 94, which I say assuming he will correct me if I'm wrong. Lauren took several minutes, but I was still proud of her for finishing decently for a girl. Of course, chugging beer is what college ... nay, life ... is all about, but I suppose some congratulations are in order for even attaining the coveted Aggie Ring. So congrats, children, congrats.

After drinking all the free beer we could, Dustin, Trey, Jason, Tommy and I all ventured over to Halo. I saw so many people there. It was way too fun. I drank myself retarded, attempted to dance, had many conversations that are not catalogued in my ever decreasing memory banks. This was a fantastic trip to CS, I accomplished all of my goals of alcoholism.

In other exciting news, Allison got herself a job for when she graduates in December. She's been interning at HP for a while now and has decided to further that career professionally. The exciting part? She's been hired in Sydney fucking Australia. How awesome is that?! Major congrats to her! I am already saving up for my plane ticket to go visit her. Who knows ... if I like it there, I could always transfer to Sydney. Our three world headquarters are Sydney, Australia, Malmo, Sweden, and Carrollton, Texas (obviously). I'm way excited for her, even though it's a little depressing that she'll be on the other side of the world by the end of January. So our party on December 11th in College Station that you're all clearing your calendars for will now be a Thanksgiving/Graduation/Bon Voyage. Huzzah!

And finally, I've been inundated with the word 'insurgent' since this whole Fallujah thing, in conjunction with my NPR habit, started. I finally decided to look it up and find out what it actually means.
in·sur·gent (n-sûrjnt) adj. --
1. Rising in revolt against established authority, especially a government.
2. Rebelling against the leadership of a political party.

Turns out, I'm an insurgent.

Holy crap. I had no idea this was going to take so long to prepare. I sure do hope you all find this as humorous as I did when I was making it. The beard is gone. It was a fun little experiment, but one that I don't expect to repeat any time soon. Of course, when you shave a beard off, you can't just shave it. You've gotta style it. Pictured below is a beautiful array of facial hair stylings. Go ahead, rate them on a scale of 1 to Pure Sex.

I got my hair cut tonight by my friend Chad. It is a lot shorter than it is in all of these pics. I would take a picture of it, but after sizing and photoshopping all of these silly pictures I just wasn't in the mood. Besides, that's more incentive for you all to come see me in person anyway. I also owe you some pictures of the apartment, but you might have to wait until I paint before I'm comfortable letting you all see where the magic happens.

This weekend is Halloween, and I'm not dressing up. I just don't have a costume. I might find something last minute. One of the best things you can do for a Halloween costume is take any ordinary noun and add the word 'slutty' in front of it. For instance, you can be a slutty fireman, a slutty cat, or be like Allison and go as a slutty Jolly Green Giant. Ho, ho, ho. Who would have thought we could use that tag line two years in a row? But if you want to know the truth, I'm just planning on going downtown, doing a little people watching and a whole lot of drinking. I was out last night when I got a late night call from my mother. Concerned that she would call me late at night, I snuck outside to a quiet nook to answer. No worries. She was just calling to let me know that my dad bought a banjo! What the fuck?! My parents must really be missing me.

And finally, because I know you all want it bad ... sexy 'stache pics! Woohoo! (My brother is probably the only one that can possibly confirm this, but don't you think I look like Uncle Al?)

Holy fuck am I ever hungover. Last night was so awesome. So I video taped this wedding, right. My former daycare boss, Mary Ann, had asked me if I would. Her nephew Randy was getting married and they didn't want to spend the money on a real videographer, so they got the next best thing -- me! It actually ended up being really fun. I know both of Mary Ann's daughters pretty well so I kind of hung around them. But I was surprised how many people I knew, seeing as how it wasn't my family or anything. But Randy was marrying Heather, who is Dawn's sister and Dawn used to teach at the daycare.

There were three kids there that went to the daycare I worked at. I used to teach them swimming lessons, show them how to color outside the lines and play John Denver songs for them on the guitar. I hadn't seen any of them since they were 5 years old and they're all 10 or 11 now kickin ass in the 5th grade. Although in reality, only the brother of the groom, Chance, is even remotely cool. It took him a while to remember who I was, but he figured it out. He was dreadfully bored at the reception since he had decided not to drink so I was trying to help him out with things to do. First, I made him drink 10 glasses of water as fast as he could and build a pyramid with the empty glasses. Once he had accomplished that, I told him to get the disposable camera off of every table and waste the remaining pictures on people he didn't know. And finally, when I had to leave, I put him in charge of the video camera. Gosh, Mr. David is the coolest.

I ended up leaving the reception and meeting PlanoJay, the bartender, at BJ's Brewhouse. Had a red beer. Yum. Went across the street to meet up with his co-worker, Chad. Yum. I ordered like 3 pitchers on my tab, but I never paid. Go figure. Keith met me out there and I drunkenly introduced him to some hoes I'd been entertaining for a while. The drive home was interesting. It was literally two blocks, so no harm was done, but had it been any farther, it could have been trouble. The really interesting part was when I got back to my apartment, the streets were all but blocked with fire trucks. Hmmm. So I maneuvered around them and parked in the garage across the street from my building. Now, bear with me because this memory is hazy, but walking into my building I remember walking through smoke. And combined with the multiple fire engines this would have alarmed some people, but not me. I blissfully waited for the elevator amongst the clouds of smoke, went upstairs and went to sleep. I really hope the building didn't burn down, but I'm still alive so things are boding well.

I woke up this morning to find my away message saying, "This night was awesome... g'night" which are my sentiments exactly. Well, wait, I wrote them, so yeah. Today I'm going to Kaylyn's baptism. Pray for me that I don't look completely hungover. Peace!

I certainly couldn't go a week without blogging. I haven't done that in ages. Time's a little tight right now because it's midnight and I'm gonna be a wreck at work tomorrow. Big news! I worked 8 hours today. Like actually produced real programming that will be used in a real project for 8 hours. And I'm gonna do it again tomorrow. Things are looking up. So the job, while I still go on the public records as hating it, is looking up. My hair gets longer every day, it's quite shaggy. And I've decided to stop shaving yet again. If I ever hit puberty and the facial hair fills in, I'll let you all see it. My workout routine is going well. I am starting to regain my flexibility, and it feels so good to work out after work. I just need to find some goggles so I can start swimming again.

Went to College Station this weekend. It was pretty fun. Ryan Hudler drove and we went and watched Daniel dunk his ring (120 seconds). We "stayed" at Todd's even though I neglected to sleep there either night. We went to Margarita Rocks with Allison, Lindsay, her underage sisters, AllieD, Jennifer, and another pretty girl whose name escapes me. Then we went to a little keg get-together out in the country and Tommy showed up. I shocked Fucking Frank with my lighter. Everyone finally realized why I think it's so funny. From there we hit Northgate. Ran into Roper Joe, that was a blast from the past. Saw Brian and Justin. Owen walked over from campus and Keith was a horrible influence on me. Owen and I got split from the group and decided to take CARPOOL home but it was taking too fucking long so I woke up Marshall and made him take Owen home and then slept in his bed. I'm trying to drop every name possible. If I forgot you, leave a sassy comment and I'll insert you into the list and pretend like you were always there. It will be hilarious.

The next day I was hungover like the entire day. It sucked, but was pretty expected. Lunch with AllieD, back to sleep on Todd's couch the rest of the day. I woke up at 1:30am and had Dustin come pick me up and drank over at his place with Raul. Spent the night on the ground accidentally. Came home the next day. I breezed over a lot of details, obviously, but I had a really great time. Thanks for driving, Ryan!

Whenever I meet someone new, or get someone's screen name for the first time, I always ammend it with a buddy comment. I'm not sure if anyone else uses these but they're a g*dsend to me. I put people's names, jobs, home towns, physical descriptions ... anything I might want to know, or pretend I've remembered later. You should all be using them. Anyway, sometimes the descriptions of someone I've met for the first time, and later become close friends with, are a tad outdated. They tend to be on the insulting side from time to time, so I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by posting names, but one of them that I just edited the other day said, "that impudent little imp." If you want to know if you have a buddy comment, hit me up with an IM.

And in final news, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO TOPHER (known affectionately by some as Yale Boy). I meant to call him at midnight, but then I realized that I don't understand time zones, so I'd better just call him when he gets out of class tomorrow. But this is my proof that I've been thinking about him and did not forget. (And no, I didn't use a buddy comment to remember.) I love you, kid, have a wonderful birthday, a kick@ss summer, and stay cool.

Do you ever just have too much to say? So much so that you don't feel like writing it down. That's what happened to me this past weekend. I decided to just sit on my stories for a while, so details that once seemed monumental are now rather trivial. It will make my blog shorter, and the stories more compact.

First things first. My brothers Stephen and Michael, from Houston and Sacramento, respectively, both visited. Their wives came as well. Stephen brought Kaylyn around so Michael could meet her, to avoid having to introduce himself to her on her 13th birthday. I just loved this picture. I assure you, she was well nutured and attended to all weekend, but this picture is so something my fam would do. 'Ahh, just prop her up, she'll be alright.' It was cute though. It was really good to see everyone that came to dinner on Friday night. I supplied the dessert -- peach cobbler from Marshall's BBQ. Oh man, is it ever good. I made everyone try it, even if they didn't want to. I also passed around my shock lighter. That was some good entertainment there. By the end of the night, we had 11 people around the table holding hands, while Stephen and I grabbed the lighter simultaneously. Everyone around the circle felt the shock. It was hilarious.

That night I went out to the bars, but wasn't really having much fun. Ryan Short and I decided to just go back to his place and go to sleep. When we got there, however, I coerced him into having one drink before bed. Which turned into two ... then three ... then we lost count. Much squeezy vodka was ingested despite Ryan's attempt to fall asleep. We watched Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, our favorite movie. Since the last time I saw it, I learned all the state capitals. So when they're at the reunion and Toby Dumbfuck asks them to name all the capitals and the Frinkazoid starts off with 'Albuquerque' I KNEW that was NOT the capital of New Mexico, because everyone knows that's Santa Fe. So we called everyone we knew to tell them that and even convinced Jason and Levi to come have a drink with us. We were beyond wasted, but obviously so much fun.

Saturday night I went out with Lil Jarrod. We had a blast. He is one of my new favs ... too funny. It was so damn crowded because this weekend was Pride. You could barely move and getting a drink was an impossibility. Ryan Short got fed up with the crowds and left unannounced, so our plan to stay at his place overnight was soon liquidated. Bob and his brother and friends were in the bars too. Too good to see him! We had fun all night long and then set about trying to decide where to go. Even though I had like three Long Islands and about six beers, I was feeling adventurous so we turned toward Plano. But I can't go home because my parents set a big wake-up-the-neighborhood alarm when they go to bed. So we eventually ended up in Lewisville at Lil Jarrod's apartment. I slept on his couch and hope I didn't scare his sister in the morning. I don't think I did though because she was quite lovely and it was nice to meet her.

From there we went back downtown to the Pride Parade. I'm sorry, but I love Pride. I don't care how many people are too cool for school. It is my favorite holy day, second only to Thanksgiving. I fought for beads as best I could, and even caught some, a feat not to be overlooked. I got some sun -- so hot, saw tons of people I knew, hung out with Lil Jarrod and Marc, got to go to Hamburger Mary's for the first time and meet some new people. All in all it was a wonderful day. I was sunburned and exhausted when I got home, and since then I have been in the most inane training class at work. It is downright painful. But, persevere I will.

This weekend I am going to College Station with Ryan Hudler. We are going to watch some ring dunkings. I'm not positive who it was but I wanna say Daniel. So I won't have my car but I will have my phone so call me and meet up with. Alright, sluts, I'm out of here. I gotta go work out because I'm morbidly obese. Peace!

Last night was another party on the roof of the Block in Uptown. All of my go-to guys had other engagements for the evening so I thought I might be forced to show up to the party alone. I would have called someone there and had them meet me downstairs to maintain the appearance that I have friends, but still, I didn't want to put up with that. Lil Jarrod to the rescue! He IMed me asking if I was going to the party and I invited him to go with me. He had his friend Lil Josh with him, so they drove over to my house and then we carpooled to the party.

This is a picture of Lil Jarrod and me at Brian's party a couple weeks ago. He was drinking champagne from the bottle and I was trying to teach him not to by demonstrating how trashy it looked. But then he started fighting back just as Ryan Short, unofficial photographer of every social event in the city, popped up. I love this picture and wanted to share with you. The party last night was pretty off the heezy. There were probably about 300 people there and the guy hired bartenders and everything. Although, I would have to say that it took twice as many people as ULDE:IYDKYDG to have half the fun. I'm not biased or anything, though. The cops came to the party or something because Brian insisted we all go downstairs to another apartment to hide. I'm not really sure what that was all about, but we had a grand time down in Brandon's apartment. Laughed a lot there. I passed around Lil Jarrod's phone number and had everyone on the porch texting him with lewd messages while he sat on the couch 5 feet away. It was really funny ... for me. I had such a good time with Lil Jarrod ... it was the first time we'd hung out together mutually sober for any period of time. Will have to do it again post haste.

I got to see Kyle from College Station last night. He was at the party. That was fun. He might be moving to Dallas. That would be awesome. He's also avidly following my pi progress, which is always fun. I also got to meet Myke with a 'y'. I think I'll change the spelling of my name from David to Deighvyd. Myke was cool. He doesn't button his shirt and he doesn't care. Also got a chance to talk to Miles who has his own website. You can click his name there if you want to see it. It's no SideshoViD.com but I respect anybody with their own domain. Also talked to Kevin last night, but that's a story of it's own uhhHUH-HUH-HU-HUHUHUUH.

Lil Jarrod confirmed my suspicions last night that my blogs are becoming obnoxiously long. Maybe I should update more often so I don't have so damn much to say. I'm sure all of you just skim, which would explain why I never get any comments. Oh well.

BIG NEWS!!!1!!! I got an apartment! I move in October 9th. Pictures, floor plans, details, etc coming soon.

The party on Friday night was a rousing success. We estimated around 150 guests all told, which exceeded even my optimistic predictions. There were a few bumps in the planning process, but nothing that couldn't be overcome. I left work early (duh) and headed over to Ryan Short's apartment. We decided to go to one of those always christmas stores to buy lights to string around the roof of Ryan's building since there is like no light up there. We made it to the store and bought 4 strands of light, though in retrospect we probably could have used even more. Oh well, we can always get more before the next party. Brandon was on his way to Dallas with his parents for a wedding and I was supposed to go to Northpark Mall to pick him up since he was going to be dropped off there. But as soon as we got back into my car, I turned the key and heard nothing. No click, no groan, no squeak ... nothing. My car was dead.

Being the easily exciteable person I am (yeah, right) we called AAA and ordered a tow truck and then called Sean Wardle to come pick us up. Thank you, Sean! We also made arrangements for Brandon's parents to just drop him off in the parking lot we were stranded in. After a quick jaunt to the corner convenient store for Powerade and cigarettes we sat and waited. Brandon's parents came. His dad, being a super nice guy, popped the trunk and diagnosed the problem as a dead battery. His mom, being a horrendous bitch, called me stupid. They thankfully left and we waited for Sean and the tow truck. Sean arrived and took Ryan home. Brandon and I waited for the tow truck. This fat black guy with all gold teeth comes roaring through the parking lot not even slowing down for speed bumps. But he ended up being one of the nicest guys I've ever met. He concurred with the battery diagnosis, towed me to an Auto Zone, went into the store with me while I bought a battery, and then put it in there for me. We were back in business.

Once we got back to Ryan's we lugged the two kegs up four flights of stairs, got those tapped and iced down, strung lights around and sat and waited for the guests. There were only about 8 or so people there around 9:00 when the party was scheduled to begin and I casually remarked to Ryan, "Did we put the cups out yet?" To which he replied, "What cups?" Ahhh! Two kegs and no cups ... that's like having a carton of cigarettes and no lighter. David Spielman saved the day by stopping and getting cups on his way. Then the party started picking up.

Certainly by midnight things were in full swing. I dedicated myself that night to introducing myself to everyone I could and making sure that everyone I was in a circle with knew each other. There were so many friends there I could hardly mention them all, but Allison did show up with her crew. I was excited to see Kerin. I also got to meet Christine's co-googleworker, Lindsey, who has been a loyal Sidesho-Viewer since she first overheard Christine's laughter. It's always nice to meet a viewer, though sometimes it can be creepy, she was very classy about the whole thing.

The only thing that marred the night whatsoever was one group of guests. They mistook our evite to a swank uptown soiree as an invitation to drink two bottles of vodka, show up to the party trashed beyond good taste, be exceedingly rude to my friends and guests, vomit in Ryan's kitchen sink, disrupt the party in a desperate attempt for attention, unplug our decorative christmas lights, become irrational and violent towards their host, ignore several polite requests to remove themselves, and try to ruin the party for everyone by dialing 911 to report underage drinking. I guess next time we should be more specific about the nature of the party. As this person was pressing "send" on his cell phone to alert the authorities that we were having a good time without him, Ryan did the only logical thing he could. He grabbed his cell phone and threw it from the roof of the building to the streets below. I can't say I condone his actions, but it sure did seem appropriate at the time.

The second keg floated around 1:30am and while I drank a little while longer off of a hidden stash of emergency liquor, the party pretty much dissapated when the beer was gone. I spent the night on the best palette ever made by man on Ryan's floor with Brandon and the next day the three of us cleaned up a pretty good mess. I would say that this party was one of the best I've been to, even though you all know how much I despise tooting my own horn. Really, I wasn't to blame for the success. Ryan set up all the party plans and made sure everything was on schedule. And the rooftop of the Heights was the perfect sized party venue and the weather could not have been more agreeable. Will have to have another rooftop party post haste.

In other news, if any of you are still with me, my brother and sister are in town for Labour Day. Stephen brought the baby with him, but I've barely gotten to see her. They're at his wife's family's house right now. I went to go work out today while the family went to church (sue me) and when I was done I decided to get lunch at the gym. They have a really nice little deli counter there. I stood there trying to decide what I wanted and just as I was about to order this big black guy butts in front of me and yells, "GIMME ONE OF THOSE TURKEY PANINIS I LIKE THOSE TURKEY PANINIS." And I'm about to make some snotty comment about how I was about to order, but he's so big that I decided to let it slide ... lucky for him. Well then some random dude walks in and goes, "Michael, how's the competition on the basketball court today?" and it was then that I realized I had just been cut in front of by Michael Irvin. So now that I know he works out at my gym, if anybody needs crack, I totally have the hookup.

Thanks to all of you who showed up to ULDE, my pity to those who couldn't make it. Until next time, take it easy ... and if it's easy, take it twice. Peace out, sluts.

This weekend I made yet another trip to beautiful College Station, Texas. There were good and bad things about my little vacation. Instead of dividing them into two categories I thought I would alternate between one good thing and then one bad thing to keep things all evened out. Starting with the good, naturally.

I got to leave work at 2:30 on Thursday because I had finished everything for the week, which means I got to take a Friday off for free! When I got to College Station, Marshall didn't want to go out and refused to even attempt to have fun. But AllieD was rarin' to go so we got all sloshed and had a rip roaring good time. The next morning I was completely hungover. So Allison and I went to see Napoleon Dynamite and it was really funny. That night I was ready to go crazy at the bar but got completely stood up by Marshall. Allison came to the rescue after I stopped by a party of hers and took her out to Halo. It was completely dead there. 27 showed up. I rounded out the evening back at the party fairly bored and not drunk enough. The next day I got see meet up and go out to lunch with Tommy. I was supposed to go see his new loft downtown when he got off work at 5, but despite knowing that he was home he refused to answer the phone and let me up and I haven't talked to him since. But he lives next door to a bar, so I spent that time drinking beer and talking to the hippies at Revolutions. I wanted to make a shirt like the one that Napoleon wore in the movie, but I ultimately couldn't find the right supplies. So I went back to Marshall's and took a nap. He never called me after he got off work, despite the fact that I put gas in his car that had been sitting empty on the side of the road for a couple of days. I had plans of my own, though, since Brian (Allison's fab friend) and his roommate James were having a party. I was still pretty hungover from my previous days' binging so I really couldn't drink a lot. And the highlight of the weekend, Chris came to the party.

End the pattern. Did everyone notice it alternated good and bad? (I color coded it after the fact.) I didn't even have to try, because the good and bad was chronological it turns out. But yeah, seeing Chris was really good. I miss that kid so much. It's a lot easier to forget that when I haven't seen him in 6 months, but seeing him again brings that all back. It was a good time though. Maybe I'll see him again in 7 years when he graduates from grad school. Raul and Rob accompanied us to the party. That's always a good time. Brian and James have the coolest friends. It was an excellent party. Other highlights included seeing Justin McK and Charlie at Halo, 27s friend being delightfully nice, and Texas Toothpicks. Other lowlights included not seeing Stino, 27s other friend being dreadfully rude, and Marshall leaving for "lunch" while I was still in bed on Sunday and then never ever coming home. I don't think I'll be going back to College Station for a while ... not without reason.

Tonight I went swimming. It felt so good. I realized I haven't been out of breath or felt my muscles burn in months! I felt just like Michael Phelps. Oh great, now everyone googling for pics of the speedo-clad Phelps are going to end up here. It probably won't help that I'm about to say gold medal Athens 2004 Olympics. (After typing this, I've decided to make tricking googlers into coming to my site a permanent feature on my site.)

Last business to discuss. September 3rd: ULDE:IYDKYDG. Ryan Short, Brent Wager, and I are throwing a party to celebrate a day of Labor Pains. That stands for Uptown Labor Day Extravaganza: If You Don't Know, You Don't Go. If you would like to come, leave a comment, and IM or an email giving me your email address and I'll make sure you get on the e-vite list. And with all the e-vite list theft going on around town, you'll probably be invited to several subsequent Dallas parties as well. I'm expecting some College Station folk to attend. Also, October 2nd: Stephen Lynch and Mitch Hedberg, the two funniest men alive, performing together at the Paramount in Austin. I'm buying tickets this Saturday so if you would like to go, let me know. Tickets are $35.

I hope you all have an alternatingly good and bad time this week. And remember ... if you don't know .. you don't go!

There is nothing like Neil Diamond to make rush hour traffic an absolute joy. I am in the best mood now. I was jammin out on the way home from work to my new two disc set. I bought it because I was wearing my Neil Diamond concert T this weekend and got many comments on it, which made me start thinking about how I wanted to hear his music. One guy, as we were walking into Jason's apartment complex, accused me of not even knowing who Neil Diamond was, so I launched into a few drunken verses of Forever In Blue Jeans, Kentucky Woman, and Love on the Rocks, to name a few. Sure showed him. HA!

I bought the CD at the Borders in the West Village. Silly me, I never even knew the West Village existed, and Ryan Short lives so close to there, and I used to work like right there. They have some of the best stores I've seen since I left Miami. I wanted to buy a whole bunch of stuff, but decided to save a little bit of money instead of blowing it all on clubbing clothes. I did buy one shirt for 40 bucks, though, because it's totally hot and it was half off. Half off, but I got a whole shirt. It's awesome. I can't wait to sport it this weekend when I'm in College Station, make all you bitches jealous.

Yes, that's right, this is probably your final reminder. I'll be pullin' into CS on Thursday night, depending on what time I can feasibly slip out of work on Thursday. Since I'm skipping Friday, it might not be such a hot idea to leave at noon again like I did last time. I can't wait to see everyone, but there are some things on my agenda. I have to hang out with Christopher before he trucks back off to Yale. I'll be spending as much time with him as I can. I have to go out with AllieD before she trucks off to Austin for the weekend. We have much to discuss ... and by 'discuss' I mean 'drink.' I have a party to go to with Brian and James, Allison's new crew. That's on Saturday night. Anyone and everyone can go with me if you'd like, I put myself down for 20 guests. I also need to see Tommy's new apartment ... now that I know he hasn't been ignoring me for the past few weeks. He hasn't even had internet, so someone else is on all of his accounts. If it's a Sidesho-Viewer, what you're doing isn't very nice and I think you should stop. It made me think Tommy hated me, as preposterous as that sounds.

I went apartment shopping this weekend with Ryan Short. I really want to live in Addison Circle, but they were at like a 98% lease rate when I went. That means that there are no good apartments left, and the ones that are left, they have absolutely no incentive to cut me any specials on. I was pretty gung ho about moving out but now my spirit has been crushed. I gave the lady my email address and told her to give me a heads up on any upcoming vacancies. I know I could go live somewhere else, but you know me. Once I decide I want something, I just can't settle for something else. Instant gratification, people, it's what makes the world go 'round. Rest assured, though, loyal viewers, I am fully intending to move out of my parents' house, perhaps in the near future, as my rent budget may swell.

Work goes on. Life goes on. Beers go down. Not much else to say. I love you all, and look forward to seeing everyone in CS this weekend. MWAH!

Last night was delightful. I got to go to Clay's house in this magical neighborhood surrounded by castlegates, drawbridges, magik and mystery. He had read my blog on having too many items in my pockets (07/24/2004: My daily inventory) and brought me a stylish euro man bag from Spain! How cool is that. Thank you, Clay, I copyright my new man bag. He also brought with him a bottle of the forbidden, therefore more desirable, Absinthe. The way we drank it was so cool. First you put some in a glass with ice. Then you take a spoonful of sugar, dip it into the alcohol, and then light the spoon on fire. As the sugar melts you let it drip back down into the glass. When it has sufficiently melted, you stir it all up until it's milky and add water. I really enjoyed my first experience. In a nutshell, it tasted exactly like liquid black licorice. Nothinkg to write home about ... but certain something to blog about.

Work today was so pointless. I know that my work ethic is a well known and often lamented fact of engineering lore, but I honestly believe I'm a hard worker. When I have something to do and it needs to get done, boy howdy, I'll get it done for you, and quick. I'll even work late or through the night or on the weekends if it needs be. What I don't do is show up early in the morning to the ghetto to sit on my hands for 5 hours pissing and moaning about the way things are run. I didn't do a fucking thing all day. Oh well, I guess things could have been worse. One thing I noticed today is that the number one goal of everyone on a jobsite is to pass the buck. It doesn't matter what hasn't been done or who was supposed to do it, "It ain't my job."

And a lot of times, people will use the phrase, "... and I told [insert name here] this ..." I heard that about 100 times today. Example: "What we were contracted to do ... and I told Andy this ... is not to run wires." As if having previously told some third party who is not present or involved suddenly adds credibility to your statement. I just think its stupid, and I told Trey this, that I had to wake my ass up at 6am every day this week, yeah I'm doin' the controls down in Oak Cliff.

Tomorrow is my father's birthday. I got him the Die Hard trilogy DVDs and a Winnie the Pooh DVD for when Kaylyn visits. They've been collecting Disney movies for years now in the event of a grandchild, but I don't think she's quite ready for an entire plot, and everybody loves Winnie the Pooh. I just wanted to get him something grandpa-ish (assuming he is going by grandpa and hasn't been renamed Paw-Paw or Pee-Pee or Poo-Poo or something). I also decorated his cake tonight after dinner. I watch Martha do it so much that I thought I would be good at it. I spun that cake around as I smoothed out the icing. Then I did a cool pattern with pecans on top and crushed up some pecans and stuck them to the side of the cake. I worked so hard on it and I was so proud of myself. When I stepped back to admire my work, it looked as though it had been done by a retarded third grader. I should just avoid entirely doing anything with my hands. Well...

Tonight should be fun. I'm ready for anything, and I told Ryan this, so we're going to go to a party. Catch you skillets on the flip side.

Fear not, faithful readers, I have returned unscathed from the depths of the Dallas ghetto. Today, I had to travel to Oakcliff to do some serious manual labor -- on rooftops and in un-air conditioned rooms -- on an air conditioning system for an elementary school that is supposed to open on Monday. I don't see how on earth it could possibly be ready since the fucking thing is severely under construction. Oh wait, I know one way they can expedite the progress ... MAKE ME WORK ALL WEEKEND! This is an unprecedented first. I have never in my life raised a finger to do an ounce of work on a weekend. But as always, before you reer back in laughter, there is an upside. I plan on tacking however much time I take off to the beginning of my August 20th venture to College Station. So I may be there sooner than you realize ... and get paid the whole time! Haha!

Some observations about my day: (1) Nobody speaks English. This is not a racial or cultural slur, as it applies to every shade of construction worker. Those I dealt with today were black, white and hispanic. None of them spoke English. The hispanic workers naturally spoke Spanish, the integrity of their grammar I am at a loss to express. The black workers spoke some true blue ebonics I could not begin to understand. And the white workers spoke with poor, broken English one can only accumulate after a lifetime of disregard for the rules of grammar. It was quite depressing. (2) Thank g*d I attended Plano schools. There were some teachers in another wing of the building getting classrooms ready and speaking amongst themselves. The fact that these fine people were the educators of young children spoke volumes for their poor test scores in the DISD. Also, there was a book in the "library" we sat in for most of the day called Jamie O'Rourke and the Big Potato which I could only assume was the cheaper, less culturally sensitive version of James and the Giant Peach that I used to love so much. (3) As I walked around, I casually commented to myself, "Thank jebus I went to college so I don't have to do this for a living." Then I paused, looked around, and realized ... this is what I do for a living.

On the way home I stopped off at Best Buy and spent another 100 bucks on DVDs. I had to reaffirm to myself why it is I put up with this shit. So this weekend will blow monkey ass, but it should pay off huge dividends in the future. I have to go take a shower now and head to Carrollton to see the prodigal friend, Clay, who has recently arrived in the US from Espania where he's been studying for a year. We're going to sip absynthe and wax nostalgic with the green fairy. I'm sure I'll have plenty more stories for you come Monday. Until then, my friends, Excelsior! Carpe diem! Haha!

Today was a productive day. I probably haven't mentioned my co-worker, Trey, in my blog as much as I have in real life. Trey is awesome. He's an old rednek with no formal education who is a jack of all trades. He's helping to train me at work. He talks ... really ... ... ... slow. It's awesome. He also happens to have pi memorized to 1250 digits. Today I made an Excel spreadsheet that would check him 10 digits at a time, and I sat and watched him successfully enter 500 digits in a row before I finally decided that I really wanted to go home. I told him I would memorize it out farther than him ... I'm up to 32 digits now. Don't believe me? 3.14159265358979323846264338327950, bitches. If you would like to race me on memorizing it, download my pi Excel sheet here.

This weekend was too much fun. Friday, I went on my lunch break at work ... and then decided that I really didn't want to go back. So at 1:00, I hit the road for College Station. Technically when my boss said, "Leave whenever you need to," I think he meant anywhere from 4:00 to 4:30. But you just can't say something like that to me and not expect me to take full advantage of it. I got into College Station around 4:00 and went straight to Hobby Lobby to visit Marshall while he worked. After a little bit of that I met up with Allison, her friend Brian (who is fab squared), and JonSteed for some evening cocktails. I picked up the tab because I have money and I spend it recklessly.

Halo on a Friday night, man I miss that. They were having some wicked drink specials, so after the nine of us drinking on my tab finished up, the total was only $50. Allison brought her friend Brian from earlier in the evening, and he in turn brought his friend James, who tried to open a tab behind my back, but I got it transfered to me. JonSteed came against his wishes because I promised him free drinks. Marshall and I got buck wild. Raul made a grand appearance, and Justin made his presence known. We definitely got our 50 bucks worth, drinking and dancing the night away. But you know me, my faithful Sidesho-Viewers. That's just not reckless enough for me. So I drunkenly vowed that on Saturday night, I would have a $200 bar tab. Everyone thought I was kidding ....

The next night when we went out, Marshall jokingly referred to my 200 dollar proclamation, to which I replied, "Let's do it." More drinking, more fun. Despite our best efforts, the total came to $85. In my defense, James was bartending, and being the good friend he is, he told me that he had "hooked me up BIG TIME." So jebus knows how much we actually managed to spend. It was way too much fun though. After the bar, Dick was having some people over to go swimming at his apartment. Raul and I swung by Marshalls for the half bottle of raspberry vodka I had purchased the day before and managed to drink that while wading in our underwear until 4am. It was crazy, crazy drunken fun. The kind of fun business professional people do not have. I can't wait to do it again soon.

Speaking of segues, I think I will do it again soon. I got a call from Chris, the boy who goes to Yale, for those of you who are bad with names. He was in Plano last night and he got to come by my house and then I gave him the full Plano experience by going to chit chat outside Starbucks with overpriced coffee and chain smoking. He is in CS through August and I will most certainly come back sooner than planned to visit him again before he whisks away back to the east coast. It was really good to get to see him and have a chance to sit down and talk about everything that's gone on in about the last seven months. Another reason I need to get back to CS in the near future is that I really need a haircut. I'm not backing out on my decision to never cut my hair again, but my last hair cut by the fat bitch at Toni & Guy was so bad that it's just not growing out right. So I'm going to get Hannah to fix it for the long haul.

The final piece of news is that I got to swing by Humble on Saturday from about 1:00 to 7:00. I went to see my 2 week old niece, Kaylyn. That was too much fun. She was sooo small and so cute. I got her some socks, a blanket and some shoes. I told you all how much I love shoes on babies, right? G*d, that cracks me up. They are too big for her at the moment, but I can't wait until she grows into them. She was so funny. She doesn't really have control of her arms or legs yet. She kind of flails around without rhyme or reason any time she gets upset. So when she yawns and her pacifier (otherwise known by its brand name, Soothie) falls out of her mouth, it is a challenge to get it back in her mouth before the screaming starts. Every time you get close, she knocks you out of the way. So my brother does this thing where he grabs her tiny hands and kind of holds them to her chest and says, "Let's get organized!" It was way too funny. Visiting Kaylyn will definitely have to be a priority in the months and years to come. I was thinking about going out of town for my 3 day weekend over Labor Day, but Stephen, Rachel and Kaylyn are coming to Dallas to visit, so I'm modoubly staying for that. Plus, I think Ryan Short is having a party, so all you College Station boys should come up for that. Start making plans.

This blog is ridiculously long, but I had a lot to say, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. My call to action is for each of you to post your thoughts and experiences with pi, big bar tabs, and tiny babies. Until then, peace, my friends. And good night.

Here is a picture of my new niece, Kaylyn, with her daddy, Stephen. My parents went down to see them this weekend and snapped a few pictures. I can't wait to meet her in two weeks. Today, I went to see my friend, Jason, at Baby Gap. He works there and told me about some of the great baby stuff they had for sale. I don't want to ruin the surprise for my brother since he reads this site, but lets just say it's all good shit. I don't really belong in a Baby Gap store with all the moms and little children cause when he showed me the baby section I was like, "Oh fuck yeah, this is all good shit!" and then glanced furtively around to make sure I was out of ear shot.

I didn't do a whole lot today. I was a tad hungover ... not from drinking at JRs last night, which I did very little of with my new friend, Ben, but from when I got home and cleaned out my dad's stash. Did a little late night drunken chatting, y'know, the usual. I did get out to the mall, though, which surprised me. Besides baby gifts, i spent 80 bucks on new product for my hair. New shampoo, conditioner, protein treatment, wax, paste, and laminate. I'm way excited about doing my hair now. Too bad I won't have a worthy occasion until the next weekend rolls around.

Sorry, not a lot to post. There are all new pictures up top ... the first time since Thanksgiving last December. So I put up new images there in lieu of the picture page I'd been promising. Enjoy them, fuckers! I'll catch you on the flip side.

I can't believe how much there is to say, seeing as how I haven't blogged all week. You would have thought that with my birthday and everything I would have been chomping at the bit to tell you all about it, but in classic Sidesho-style I blindsided you all once again with my cunning and prowess. And by "cunning" I mean laziness, and by "prowess" I mean "general malaise."

My birthday was fucking awesome. I mean, I had to work and all, but that wasn't too bad. My coworkers all wished me a happy birthday. After work I went to dinner with my parents at a place called Smith and Wollensky. It was fucking awesome. To sum it all up, they used a crumb duster at the table. I ate and drank until I could barely move. I would venture to say it was the best meal I've ever had. I went to bed just a little early that night.

The next day my coworkers, remiss for having been denied the pleasure of a birthday happy hour, dragged me out to Duke's in Addison. Even though I had vowed publicly long ago to never go there again. I figured happy hour didn't count. Plus they were having their weekly dodgeball tournament and I wanted to see it. The co-s kept me with a beer in my hand the whole time. At one point, someone went to get me a drink while someone went to close out a tab while someone was leaving, and they all decided to get me a beer at once. So I had three full beers in front of me. It was AWESOME. I didn't end up staying to watch dodgeball so I can't tell you if it was cool or not, but I may check it out at some other point. I came home that night to my grandmother, 10 year old girl-cousin, and her 10 year old friend. I barely had time to say hi before I went to bed even earlier than the night before.

Speaking of, the girl-cousin is in my shower right now singing her fucking head off and it's about to use up my last nerve. It was nice to get to see her and get to know her a little bit, but there is a reason I don't hang out with 10 year old girls on a regular basis. Many, many reasons. And my mom has been fighting with my grandma pretty much since she got here ... which I find to be hilarious, because it reminds me a lot of when she and I fight. But it's not very fun for either of them, so that sucks. My dad remains stoic with the glass of Jack on the rocks.

Last night was Katie and Jeff's wedding. Congratufuckinglations you two. They are too cute together, so I braved the cathlick church to watch the blessed event. I went with Ryan Short and we were the ONLY two wearing any color. My outfit was kickass. I got some new chinos from Banana and paired it with this kickass purple shirt and blue/red paisley looking tie. It was a killer combo I'll just say that much. As soon as I get some pictures back from Allison I'll add them to the imaginary picture page I keep promising. Ryan was wearing a pink shirt and a pink tie and we looked stellar. Of course, we were the only ones there who didn't look like we were going to a hoe down. It was so typical. My hair was in a wedding-hawk, a hairstyle I invented just for the wedding.

The reception was ridiculously fun. Much Coronas con lime ingested. Many high school friends and many, many Aggies. A little dancing, a little mingling. Ryan caught the garder ... too funny. After the reception ended almost everyone went to TABC, a bar in Uptown. Chilled, drank a little more. Ryan and I headed to Round-Up to meet up with everyone around closing time. A couple more drinks, to TMC to dance, and then Whataburger! Taquitos at 4am, nothing beats it.

Now here I am upstairs in my room with the door closed trying to avoid everyone for the remainder of the night. I cooked a turkey for dinner ... not exactly of Thanksgiving proportions, but another winner. So I feel I've deserved some quiet time. Sorry for the hiatus, you know I was thinking of you all every moment I was AFK. I'll try to keep you more informed in the future. Crack is whack.

I am back in Dallas now after my three day excursion to College Station. It was so good to go back. I knew this was going to happen, but in my defense that was probably the longest I had been away from that shitty little city since the summer that I had knee surgery. I spent the majority of the time with Marshall, but it was so good to see everyone else as well. I spent the second most time with Ryan and Josh, but also got to see Leslie, Josh, Raul, Justin, Justin, Tommy, Robby, and some others that I'm forgetting. If I've left you off of the list, just hit me up with a comment and then I'll cleverly add you and post a comment right after yours that says something to the effect of, "Try reading it again, I clearly see your name there." It is hilarious when I do that.

There's not a whole lot of news from my weekend. I got drunk all three nights, two of which were at Halo. I miss belonging like that. Knowing all the bartenders and owners and every patron of an establishment, and having them notice when you've been out of the loop for a while. I am coming to love going out in Dallas, but there's just nothing like the CS crew. Marshall and I got shitcanned on Friday night even though I told him that there was no way I was going to last past midnight cause I was so tired. I was practically falling asleep on the drive down there despite the fact that I slipped out the side door of work two hours early. Shhhh. My supervisor was out of town so I didn't see any reason for me to hang around.

So Friday night was a FUCKING BLAST ... just what I needed. Saturday was a big drag show that I didn't even look at once the whole night. I drank a lot of Jaeger before we went out to the bar so the entire night's activities are a tad blurry. But I know I had fun and only ran up a six dollar bar tab despite telling everyone I knew to put everything on my tab. Rock out with your cock out!

Sunday night Marshall and I went over to Chris's apartment to sit by the hot tub and play volleyball. Well, I read magazines while the other boys and girls played volleyball. Sports aren't exactly my style. Then we got some beer and I drank a bunch. I am so fun. Then today I said my goodbyes to Marshall at Hoblob, swung by Josh's to pick up some of my stuff he was still holding onto and drove home. Yippee skippy. Oh but I got my diploma from Marshall who was having it framed at Hoblob. The four hundred dollar framing job that I inexplicably paid nothing for. It looks so cool. I'll have to snap a picture for all of you and include it on the picture post that I've been promising frequently as of late.

One final note: Tomorrow is my 23rd birthday. Make my day.

I am now done with orientation at work. Friday was another good Friday. For the entire three weeks, they'd been telling us about our final exam at the end and how we should be studying a little bit here and there because it was really hard and comprehensive. And of course, none of us studied. In fact, we joked, "I'm not gonna study. I bet when we walk in the door, there's nothing but cake and punch." But in reality, we were all fully expecting a test.

Well, wouldn't ya know, as soon as we opened the door to take our tests, the Recruitment and Development Department yelled out "SURPRISE!" and clapped as they stood behind ... yup, cake and punch. So rad. And then we each had a little card congratulating us, a TAC pen, and a TAC like leather zipper folder thing. It was pretty cool. We had a good time. And then we all went to happy hour at Blue Mesa Grill. I had several beers and one guy bought a round of 16 shots of tequila. These people are all pretty fun. But they were going out and wanted me to join. Something to do on a Friday night? Rad!

The other night I got really sad about the fact that I was in Dallas. Poor Josh and Nelly Ryan had to talk to me while I was upset. I've really been kind of lonely since I've been back. I have my few friends here and I see them occasionally, but I miss all my friends in College Station. A lot. So to go hang out on a Friday night instead of sitting home and going to bed early was just what I needed. That, and more cowbell. I rawked the hawk for all my coworkers who had never seen it before. I met them all at this guy Keith's apartment and we went to Arriba's for margaritas and daqueries to start with.

There was a group of about eight of us, all heavy drinkers. I'm gonna toss some names around so don't get confused. Keith's stomach was upsetting him from his drink so he asked the waitress if she had any Tums. She didn't. And she was like 18 with a full set of braces. So when Willem's check came he wrote "No Tums, No Tip" and then blackened in a big '0' on the tip line. So as we're leaving this bitch is screaming out the back door, "Real fucking cool." And she obvious thinks it was Keith who wrote it ... who is now peeing behind the truck we rode in and thinks she's pissed that he's pissing. So we got out of there pretty quick and went to Suede. So weird. People just CRAMMED into a tiny bar, no dancing, just drinking. I don't see how people find that fun. But I managed to have an alright time talking to random people. I wish I'd taken my own car though, because when these guys get drunk, they look for a fight. They tried to pick a fight with some dude selling roses. I was like COME ON LET'S GO. It took forever to get back to my car.

When I finally did I was thinking, "Holy shit I don't want to drive back to Plano right now." So I start driving and recognized this street, Thomas, right away. And I'm like, "Oh, score, I am in Ryan Short's neighborhood." So I called his roommate, David, and found his apartment and then fell asleep in his bed. Good thing he didn't come home. So to you, Ryan Short, I say thank you. HA!

I have a bunch of pictures that I need to put up on here from the Miami trip and from orientation when we went to the top of a 49 story building downtown, but that will have to wait for another blog. Laaaaaaaaaaaaate.

I have to start with a few quick shoutouts as a part of the weekend wrap up. When you don't blog as often, things that were once really great blog fodder turn into stories on the way side. But I do want to mention that Friday night I went to Shuck and Jive with Maryann (my former daycare boss) and her daughter Ashley and then Keith met us up there. And then Saturday night I went to a party in Arlington at DAvid's house with Ryan Hudler. Great times, great times.

But now there's more pressing news. I bought two new CDs yesterday and I have to tell you about them. I got The Calling's new CD (my favorite band) and while I was shopping around I saw and grabbed Ben Jelen's CD. Now, The Calling is just awesome. Their new CD is just as good if not better than their last, and that is a pretty huge compliment coming from me since I listened to their last CD on repeat for like years in a row.

But, the story is Ben Jelen. I liked his song "Come On" so I bought the CD. Cause if you know me well then you know that I've never burned a CD in my life. I'm a big advocate of supporting my favorite artists since music is a massive part of my life. Let me think how to phrase this.

Precious few of you have ever heard the full story of how important John Denver is to me ... or why. Long story short, the first time I ever heard Rocky Mountain High, I was in a particularly difficult period of my life around age 13, and the second I heard that song I had direction. I knew I wouldn't be happy until I could play guitar like that and sing like that. And that has been one of the most defining experiences of my life.

From the second I put on the Ben Jelen CD, I knew that he was something special. Let me put it this way. On a scale from one to John Denver, he ranks an 8. Most people don't even make it on the scale. Every song on this CD is so good that I don't ever want it to end. It's absolutely fucking amazing. Like beyond amazing. Go buy it now. I don't care if you don't get to eat for a month, buy this fucking CD. G*d, it's so good. Of course, he's also beautiful. And then there's the nostalgia factor ... if it wasn't for Ben Jelen I never would have met 27. The first time I met him at a party, I was talking to him because I thought looked like Ben Jelen. But even all of that aside, this whole album is fucking incredible. I cannot stress this enough.

The reason the title of this blog is "Mondays at Studio Movie Grill" is because my old friend Jay, better known to some as PlanoJay, is the bartender there on Monday nights. And he told me that any time I come in I can have whatever I want for free. So you know I'm there every Monday. I got kind of drunk tonight. And when I got home I wasn't hungry and I'd accidentally smoked like 5 cigarettes on the way home. So my mom was pissed that I got home way late, didn't want the food she'd saved for me, and smelled like an ashtray, but I think she'll get over it.

So ... go buy The Calling and Ben Jelen and then report back to me. TRUST ME, you won't be sorry on either account.

I hate working. I mean, while I'm there, it's not so bad. Sometimes the hours absolutely drag by and sometimes I'm done before I realized it was getting close to quittin' time. I have another piece of flair the Nazi's make me wear. This one's a cell phone. My whole life I have hated cell phones clipped to belts more than I hate Jessica Simpson (and her little sister now too). But, in keeping with the theme of turning myself into all the things I've always despised, I wear it obligingly. It's way too big to keep in my pocket because its one of those Nextel walkie-talkie things -- which I also hate.

Some other things that suck, and then we'll move on to more fun topics. We're getting this etiquette class three times this week and basically all they needed to do was hand out a piece of paper saying, "David you don't belong here." They presented themselves as this ultra-hip, young cultured company, but now they're impressing on us the need to look like mission control engineers from the 1960's. Fuck that. I'm not taking out my earrings. That's ridiculous. All I do all day is sit in a cubicle. And they keep saying things like, "If you're not married yet, when you do get married you'll want to eat with proper etiquette. And guys especially when you take a girl out." I know that's petty, but they make comments like these all day long constantly ... everyone does. It would be nice to not feel alienated for like five minutes.

So the fun topics I promised: This weekend, my first weekend in Dallas, could not have been better. Ryan Short was having a party Saturday night, and I was on the ol' invite list. I went over to his house early so I could get ready to go out without the criticism of the matriarch. I helped him put lids on the obscene amount of jello shots and then people started showing up. JonSteed from College Station just happened to be in town and called me to see if I was doing anything, so I invited him to join me. I was grateful for him being there since I only knew a few cats and it was a little intimidating. There were like 70 queers sardined into Ryan Short's apartment. It was great. But it did get a little stuffy and hot (I should take a look at his HVAC system) so we moved the party to the bars. Starting off at JR's, JonSteed and I proceed to drink Pink Cape Cods like they were goin out of style. Then we stumbled over to the Village with a couple strangers and danced and drank some more. Neither of us remember the rest of the night clearly but I think it ended with us buying a shot and not having enough money, so we left.

Not much else of note happened, but hazy stumblings and drunken ramblings with people we did not know. We made it back to Ryan's where he and his brother were waiting for us to take them to ... where else? ... Whataburger! Fantastic. I spent the night at Ryan's cause I'm a lush and my mother didn't want me to drive home if I'd been drinking. I was happy to oblige. The next day we woke up and went to visit Ryan Short's friend, Greg, who lives in Addison Circle, where Ryan thought I might like to live. He was RIGHT! I fell in love. That's totally where I'm moving when I can afford it, which should be shortly. My first paycheck comes tomorrow -- can't fuckin wait. After we ate lunch and toured Greg's apartment we went and met up with Brent to go to a movie. So Ryan, Greg, Brent and I all rode to Stonebriar and met up with Chris Jones to see Stepford Wives, which I did not want to see, but I did want to meet new friends so I went. IT SUCKED. Real bad. Don't see it. Anyway, I just wanted to graciously thank Ryan, Greg, Brent and Chris for such a great time.

So that is what has been going on. Once I move out of my parent's house and get my own dedicated internet connection, I'll probably be more prone to get back into the updating swing of things, but as it is, I have precious little time to plug in and I don't always want to spend it narrating the past. But do keep checking back and emailing me and stuff, all the contact with my former life is a good thing. Peace out, have nots.

The room was a haze, her steps heavy with drunken determination. She stood at the doorway and gazed out, seeing double. The rain fell in sheets outside, and not wanting to endure the downpour, she retreated back into the club. She looked left to read a poster, but abandoned such hope as the words melted together. She looked right with disgust at the lowly bartenders shooting disapproving leers. She should have been looking down, because unbeknownst to her, the floor ended in a cascade of stairs she had walked up and down a hundred times before.

The floor jumped up from out of nowhere, knocking her sideways as her purse regurgitated its belongings. She looked up to notice lights on the far wall, and soon realized she had hit the floor. Dazed, she felt herself lift up under the close watch of two of her friends. And then, it was time to leave.

Okay, enough with the narrative stylings of your favorite Sidesho attraction. I just promised Leslie that I would find a creative spin on the fact that she ate it hardcore in the middle of Boyz Cellar. That was the only way I could procure permission to even tell the story. Those of you who know her won't be surprised ... those of you who have met her won't be surprised ... those of you who know of her won't be surprised ... those of you who read this site a lot won't be surprised ... but everyone else will be fucking floored!

We had to leave early that night, but luckily our knight in shining armor, Brandon, was there to save the day and drive us back to Round Rock so we didn't have to wait in the rain for a taxi. "We" was Leslie, Jon Steed and yours truly. It was still relatively early and the rest of us were relatively sober so Jon and I sat up drinking beers and discussing politics. Lesbie Ann joined us for a spell but retired before we did. The next day we woke up and had lunch and then I hit the road for Brandon's house.

He fumbled about for a bit, not wanting to extend the good bye, just delay it. A furtive look about at his surroundings and he fixated on her. He was leaving her, and didn't know when he would see her again. A moment. Hugs and pleasantries exchanged, he strode to the car and waved a final time.

Ehh, I had to give my embarassing moment some granduer as well. It was then that our everyman realized he'd locked his fucking keys in his car. What happened was I put Tuna in the car in his Taco Bell traveling cup, but didn't want him to swelter while I was saying goodbye to Leslie so I reached in and cranked on the AC and then shut the door ... but not before remembering to lock it. So I stood outside of Leslie's for like 30 minutes as my gas ran out for 2 bucks a fucking gallon. Luckily, I had turned on the AC (although that was the problem in the first place) because Tuna would have died. So I remained calm.

I finally got on the road and made it to Brandon's house, and we went to the mall. I got to see where he works. Then we got all cute and headed out to the Pride Parade. I had no idea that it was pride, but whatever, I just go with the flow. Ran into my old pal Craig and my older pals Rossi and Brad, so that was cool. Danced the night away, but didn't get drunk. Today I drove back to Dallas amidst throngs of biking enthusiasts and it took almost 5 hours. Now its pouring rain and my first day of work is tomorrow. I'm nervous and should be in bed, but I wanted to fill everyone in on the last weekend of freedom I will ever experience ... well, until I get fired for going to work drunk. But hopefully that won't be for many days.

Wish me luck, I'm sure I'll update tomorrow with hilarious antics from the office ... Since now I have my degree, and I do engineering in my engineering office. Bah. Laaaaaaaaate you have nots.

Welcome to June, everybody. The date of my departure is nigh. I'm thinking I'm gonna go to Austin on Friday to stay with Leslie and hang out with Brandon and then head back to Dallas to await my start date. I have to be at work at 8am. This is going to be quite a challenge. The only way its going to possibly happen is if I'm in bed by 10pm. I'm not sure I'm ready for that lifestyle, though if you asked my body it would probably disagree. Who knows, though. Maybe work will just be a blast. I'm getting to do design instead of installation so that is good news.

Two nights ago, Allison and I got krunk on Coors and sat out back of Northgate drinking our free beer. On the way home, I was absolutely starving, as I've been saving money by only eating once a day whilst in College Station. We decided to stop through Whataburger (duh!). I just wanted to let you all know that this is a possibility, in case it had not occured to you previously. We got four bacon, egg and cheese AND sausage AND potato taquitos. Omega, get excited. They were incredible. And when I saw my friend who now recognizes me at Whataburger, I told her, "Oh yeah and also throw in a handful of fries for free." And she did! How fucking rad is that. I love her. I had to tell this story since there was a request for it on the last post.

You know what I was thinking about the other day? When you just kind of meet someone one day but don't really know them ... but every time you run into them you're obliged to say hello. And we call these people "Hi" buddies. Well when I'm online, I have "Hey. Sup? NM. Coo." buddies. Chew on that.

The rest of our time in Miami was much like the first half: fucking incredible. Tuesday night we went to the bar that the clothing store girl suggested. It was like straight up velvet roped Sex and the City style club. The bouncer let us in free, which was cool, but once we got in we were like "oops." Then we had to suffer the indignity of turning around and walking back out. It was pretty obvious we were out of element, so we ran away. Everyone was in suits and it was very upscale. We're used to dead animals hanging on the walls.

So we went to a bar called Score. That was more our speed, for several reasons. I ended up getting shit canned and leaving all kinds of hilarious drunken voicemails on my friends' phones. On Josh's message I said something to the effect of, "OH shit I'm about to run into a phone poll." Good stuff. Wednesday night, we took it pretty easy, just had a nice dinner on Ocean Drive (lobster linguini - YUM) and then some wine with strange Columbian men. Thursday was a long day of traveling back to Dallas.

Friday we drove back to College Station. Traffic was HORRENDOUS. I have never seen it so bad on 45. It took us an hour and a half just to get through Corsicana where it goes down to one lane. So we made an executive decision to take Highway 14 through Mexia to try and avoid the congestion. Allison had to pee and wanted a drink so we took a tour of Mexia looking for the McDonalds or Sonic. I don't know how many of you are addicted to VH1 like I am, but surely a good lot of you have seen the biography of Anna Nichole Smith (aka Vicky Lynn). She grew up in Mexia with the most white trash family I've ever seen and worked at a fried chicken store. Well, as we were driving to Sonic we fucking found the chicken stand. I immediately pulled over, ordered a couple drumsticks and bicuits and Allison took a picture. Now that is the kind of sight seeing that I am interested in ... true American landmarks. We were laughing so hard the entire time.

That pretty much saved our 5 hour trip from Dallas to College Station and gave us something to giggle about the rest of the way. Last night was a glam Halo night with one of my new shirts that I bought. I looked awesome ... as usual. I got shit canned ... as usual. I crashed at Marshall's ... as usual. Good times had by all. I found out that Josh has internet so I'll probably be mooching off of him while I'm around. I will be sure to update you all if anything of interest happens. I will probably be back in Dallas around Tuesday or Wednesday. Or later. Who knows? Later kiddos.

Hello all I am updating you from an ultra shady tour company that also has computers available for increments of 15 minutes online. Don't you feel special. Really, I just wanted to sit down. We have been walking up and down the beach and through the streets of South Beach all fucking day and I am more tired that I have been in a long time.

In short, I am home. I fucking love this place. As soon as we got here I knew that I was going to have a good time. Every club we've been to has been absolutely bumping. Every person we've seen has been beautiful. And the shopping! OMG. I can't tell you how awesome the stores are here. I dropped 150 bucks today in a shop called Scorch, and it was all I could do to not empty out my bank account and charge the rest to my credit card. The clothes here were out of this world. Well, out of this country, actually. She said one of the shirts I got was from Spain, not sure about the others. The sales girl was so nice though. She said any time I want I can call them up and she'll take some digital photos of new clothes and send them to me if I want them. I will definitely take her up on this. 27, you are going to be so jealous of one shirt I got.

The beach here is also beautiful. We spent the morning getting over hangovers and basking in the sun, even though I was wearing SPF 48. Hahaha, my white ass is not going out to a club with a lobster burn. Last night we cruised up and down Ocean Drive, which is like the most happening street I've ever bar hopped on. Then we ended up at this gay club called Twist. It was out of control. Allison and I earned free drinks by getting on stage with the emcee, who just happened to be a large Columbian drag queen. Whatever, you know us, we'll do anything for a free drink.

Not sure whats up for tonight. We already spent the afternoon people watching at Wet Willie's -- this bar where all they serve are frozen drinks, but they have like 30 flavors. We're big fans ... but we didn't tip today so we don't feel like we can really go back in good conscience. I think we're gonna go to a club on Lincoln Street (the best shopping street I've ever been on). The girl from Scorch suggested it to us. She was so helpful. Thank god we finally got the scoop from a true hip local. This is truly paradise, kids. I am not playing. If I could find a job here in the next two days, I would honestly not come home. Now I know what Will was talking about when he called Miami his second home. Definite vacation spot in the future.

I guess I should go now, I only have a little bit of time left on my 15 minute interval and I don't want to pay anymore money. I would share pictures but my camera is out of batteries, damnit. Don't worry about me though, just in case you were, cause ITS ALL GOOD. Laaaaaaaaate.

OUCH, my head hurts. It's 3:30 in the am ... I woke up a couple hours ago completely disoriented and confused as to what time it was, where I was, etc. Owen was watching TV and I was sleeping on the couch and the shows he was watching kept ending up in my dreams. It took me a few minutes to realize I wasn't the general of an army throwing people from a moving vehicle. God, why do I always have such murderous dreams.

Anyway, the reason my sleep schedule is so fucked up is because I pulled an all-nighter last night to finish a project. I did a piss poor job. I'm concerned I won't pass this class. Hopefully there will be a large curve. But I was already so tired to begin with, I couldn't believe I made it through the night and into the next afternoon. It was not without the help of coffee and cigarettes. I finally got to bed around 1pm and woke up at like 6. I thought perhaps I could stay up and be normal but after Owen and I ate at Fitz's, I crashed again, hardcore. This is not good because I have an assload to do by Thursday, but once again my stupid body is requiring food and sleep. It is so annoying like that.

The schedule for the next two weeks or so: Thursday, user manuals, installation guides, trouble shooting guides etc are due as well as the technical presentation and demonstration of our greenhouse project we've been working on for the past year. Probably the biggest hurdle. Friday-Saturday, feverishly finishing final documentation for that project, studying for a final in the class that I'm concerned about passing. Monday, take that final. Monday through Wednesday, work on a program that will test parameters of an Analog to Digital Converter that Owen and I haven't started yet. That is due Wednesday at noon along with our take home final. Wednesday night -- drink lots and lots, pray that grades go through. Friday at 9am, my graduation. After that, I will move all my stuff out of my apartment back home to Dallas. May 20th my lease is up and somewhere in there, I am going to California with Allison. Very hectic. Cannot wait to be done.

So if I don't update, please don't hate me. And for those of you moving back home for the summer and stuff, don't forget to bookmark SideshoViD.com and keep in contact with me. Where ever I go and whatever I do SVC will remain a constant way to see what I've been up to. I love you all, in spite of the fact that you are all a bunch of have-nots.

I just got back from my free hour and a half long full body massage, and I have to tell you, it was the best. I was so hungover this morning so I spent the day laying around waiting for my massage, and it just took care of every lingering symptom of hungoveredness. I got to do it because my friend Rob's mother works for the Austin School of Massage Therapy and they needed volunteers for students to practice on. Shit, sign me up. It was awesome, and totally free.

I've also been snacking on tons of free barbeque that Allison and I stole from a picnic she was invited to. The professor she TA's for does the study abroad program and was having a meeting since it's Parents' Weekend. After spending about 20 minutes driving around looking for the park that it was at, we realized that it was being held at the park that my apartment faces, a stone's throw away. That was kind of embarassing but we soon lost inhibitions as the beer was free. And we'd already spent our afternoon at Bourbon Street Bar and Grill drinking martinis for a dollar a pop. What an awesome day. So there we were with a cooler full of beer and three plates full of meat walking back to my apartment giggling.

Then it was off to the drag show, which was awesome. Brian did such a good job as Britney dancing to Slave. Good stuff. I was already drunk so I didn't spend any money on booze ... I maintained by buzz by sipping off of other people's drinks when they weren't looking. And yes, they were all people I know. I'm not that big of an alchy. Anyway, Lesbie Ann is still in town so I'm gonna follow her tonight, more than likely ending up at Halo. Good times. Czech you all later.

Once again, alcohol was involved in my night. What makes this even better than the party that was rockin on Sunday during the Britney concert, is that this was a Monday night. So fun. The occasion for last night's festivities was Brian's 21st birthday. Everyone together now, "Happy birthday, Brian!" It was quite an ordeal to finally decide that I would be in attendance. I got home from working out with Thommi and didn't feel like drinking or spending money, but 27 and Marshall wanted to go, so I went. Like it took a whole lot of convincing or something. And of course I got shitcanned and spent a bunch of money, but it was a blast. Kyle was there.

After hitting up Fitzwillies, Mad Hatters, and Gatsby's (the new bar on Northgate, very chill, I liked it) we headed back to Aaron's apartment. Aaron had recently busted out of jail, so I bought him several drinks. I kinda feel like I owe him for his superiour bartending skills. I don't think we did a whole lot at Aaron's but sit around and shoot the shit. At one point I was laying on the floor, and as I was too lazy to get up, Justin was kind enough to pour the remnants of a bottle of wine into my mouth. Now that's service!

By far the highlight of my evening was Big Jeff, who was waiting for us back at the apartment. A few people were chillin there when we arrived. Anyway, back to my story. He had everyone's attention in a large round table discussion and went to tell a story about some friends of his. Honest to g*d, the story went like this: "Jeff, Jeff, Jeff and I," said Jeff. I thought it was hilarious, as did Kyle. That was the first thing Kyle IMed me with this morning (or afternoon, for you sun dwelling people).

I have got to go to campus and work on this project that was due 2 weeks ago. I don't know what I'm gonna do but there's a bunch of people in the same boat so at least that's comforting. But instead, I think I'm going back to bed. Later, sluts. Later, Kyle.

As it turns out, I really don't know how to tan. In fact, I was going to attempt to photograph my ineptitude, but the problem seems to have faded, so I'll illustrate for you again. I got a membership at Total Tan for 25 bucks for a month. So far I've only been twice, but I've fucked it up twice now. Every time I get out of the bed, my body is a splotchy, nasty red, white and tan neopolitan mess. That's not sexy. Maybe one of these days I'll figure it out.

This morning I had a missed call at 8:10am from a private number. Only two people I know use private numbers. One of them is my old boss, but he knows better than anyone that this guy wouldn't be awake at 8:10am since thats when I was supposed to be at work every day and I'd roll in around noon usually. The other is our dear Yalie friend, Chris, whom I normally wouldn't suspect, but he is supposed to be coming home today for a few days. Again though, why would he call so early and not leave a message? More than likely what we have on our hands here is some sort of telemarketer riling up my imagination.

Got a lot to do this week. Have a couple projects due on friday. Spent 10 and a half hours in one chair yesterday working on a program. Normally I wouldn't have spent so long working on it but it was just one of those days where everything was just going right. I was really making great progress and didn't want to stop and come back on a day when everything would just be going wrong, because those certainly are easier to come by. I went and had a beer with Bo over at Fitzwilly's around 11:00. That was so delicious esp. since I hadn't eaten all day. I'm fasting this week. Anyway, I suppose I should go wash off this brown sugar and get headed to campus.

One last foot note. David27 found a zippo lighter in my couch cushions that says "TAMU OUTLAW '03 CORPS OF CADETS" on its sides. It's not that I desperately want to return this to its rightful owner, I'm just dying to know who the closet corps boy is, because if I'm gonna have a corps boy in my house I need to at least know who he is ahead of time. So if it's yours, fess up, soldier. Laaaaaaaaaate.

When last we left our intrepid hero, we found him in the throws of Keystone admidst strangers. Let us now discuss everything that has occurred ... from blackout to blackout. Ryan Short left Dallas with three friends in tow -- Aaron, Aric and Brett. None of the three had ever been to College Station or anywhere nearly as cosmopolitan. They were expecting a cow town, and while we certainly are one, we did our best to restrict their visit to my apartment, HEB, Halo, and Johnny Carino's. In other words, no Dixie Chicken, Duddleys, Shadow Canyon, Chicken Oil Co. (or any Don Gainer owned, shotty wooden construction establishments).

I was over at 27's apartment when they arrived, but had left Owen with a phone number where I could be reached, since I had cleverly forgotten my phone at home. Once we arrived, we had a lot of fun ordering pizza, drinking beers (and Smirnoffs *shakes head disappointedly*), and inviting everyone we knew over. Even our dear friend Christina Lee from my major dropped by and ended up going to the club with us. My shirt from the Gap was still too big so I just wore the graphic T I had originally purchased as an undershirt. Many hours later, a large group of us were ready to get our drink on ... and we did just that. Aaron, the bartender, was very nice to us ... even giving us a free round of shots that I vaguely, vaguely remember. I had gone in with the vocalized goal of getting too drunk, a goal I never fail to meet. Several vodka tonics later, things get a little hazy. I know that we spent the night dancing erraticly.

On the way home, we stopped off at Whataburger to get some taquitos. This is just a given for me, I always stop at Whataburger, but it has become a sort of College Station activity for Ryan Short, and he wanted to share it with his crew. And I guess us talking about it got everyone in the mood, as is evidenced by the many, many fast food bags strewn about my living room. I'm not entirely clear on the rest of the night's activities. I know I drank a few more beers and woke up with no bruises ... so it couldn't have been too crazy. Let's just say "the sun came up on us" because it did. Which I hate. Off to sleep in a massive heap on the floor because some party poopers had crashed early in my bed.

The next afternoon, the grogginess starts to fade as we're motivated to stand up and drive to Johnny Carinos (which is literally across the street, a stone's throw from my apartment). I wasn't quite ready to eat, so I got a box for mine -- so trashy, I love it. Dallas boys bid adieu, 27 and I immediately went back to bed. My sleeping schedule is so wiggity whack ya'll. And my apartment looks like a train wreck ... provided that train had been carrying an assortment of empty beer cans, bottles, and fast food wrappers. Maybe I'll remedy that today ... or maybe it'll still be here the next time the Dallas boys come party.

There is a tentative plan to make our own pilgrimage to Dallas to live it up with them. I've been out in Dallas with Ryan Short many times, so I know that these country bumpkins from south Texas would absolutely love it. I will surely let you all know when that date is afoot. Until then, thanks to everyone who partied with me this weekend, you all uniquely enhanced my fun that had already runneth over. Later, have nots, have a good week.

I got that outfit I wanted, but when I got home the shirt was fucking huge so I couldn't wear it. We got ready anyway and went to see Starsky and Hutch. I didn't bust out crazy laugh at all but I did laugh constantly through the whole movie. I would suggest it to all of you. The movie ran a little late so we had to call Christopher's to push our reservation back about 20 minutes. We went home and freshened up and then it was off to the restaurant.

Ohhhh emmmm geeee. We started off at the bar enjoying a couple glasses of wine while we waited for our table to be ready. There was a live jazz trio that was pretty cool. Our table was ready after only a short wait so we took a seat. We were so prim and proper all sitting up with correct posture and everything. It was so fun. Allison ordered the mediterranean salmon and I had a duck breast in a blueberry sauce. Holy fuck. You can't imagine how wonderful the food was. It came with all kinds of vegitable sides -- mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, some kind of greens, rice, and these little sweet potato crispy things. That's all I can remember. Needless to say it was fucking decadent. We also treated ourselves to a bottle of 2000 Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon. It was definitely not the cheapest bottle available, but not nearly the most expensive either. Delicious! Just when we thought we couldn't eat another byte, they had to bring around the dessert cart. A raspberry chocolate truffle?! Give me a break. I will do anything for raspberries. It was incredible. Allison's said "Happy Birthday from Christopher's" in chocolate around the edge of the plate. Very classy. Thank you for taking me, Allison!

We could barely move after the meal was over. Allison was out for the count, going home to go to bed, but I had social obligations. I was supposed to go that concert with Marshall. Unfortunately, I was too full to do anything. David27 came over and I slowly but surely got ready to go out. Sometime after midnight we finally ended up at Halo, had a few drinks, met up with Marshall, Sonia and Chevy, and then went home.

When we got home Owen was complaining that someone in the parking lot was playing Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" entirely too loud, so me and 27 went to tell them to shut up. It was two girls jammin out in a car after coming from Northgate. As it turned out, it was Erin, the girl that I got into an accident with in my parking lot. She was with her friend Courtney and they invited us to go back to Erin's apartment to party with them. She lives in the apartment like next to mine but upstairs. It was so close. We took some beer with us and sat on her porch drinking and smoking cigarettes and bullshitting. They were so cute and fun. They said they want to go out with us tonight to Halo and I'm totally going to invite them. I will have to let you all know how that turns out. Ryan Short is currently en route to College Station with 3 Dallas boys in tow. Tonight is sure to be crazy. More on that, after this....

I am so lucky. I'll give you twenty-seven guesses as to why but you'll only need one. These past couple weeks have been some of the best in recent memory. It's nice to have a constant partner in crime who likes to sit and watch home improvement shows and smoke too many cigarettes. I'll rip your face off and chop it in a million pieces.

In other news, Allison made reservations for us to eat at Christopher's on Friday. For those of you from out of town, Christopher's is the only nice restaurant in like a 100 mile radius. I'm really excited cause I've never eaten there before. Her parents said we could go eat there as a birthday present. Get excited! Then she bought tickets for us to see Starsky and Hutch but I already promised Marshall I would go see this band play at the Groove. We're gonna have to remedy that situation. I talked to Marshall and he was cool with it even though he said he wouldn't be if I tried to back out. But whateryagonnado? For my graduation Allisons parents are gonna pay for us to eat at Messina Hof. How fun is that? Maybe I should remind my parents that they didn't get Allison a graduation present and see if we can go to P.F. Changs in Houston or something.

I really want to go shopping before all the boys from Dallas get here on Saturday but I doubt I'm gonna have a chance. Ryan Short had so much fun during his night here out at Halo that he convinced like 10 of his friends from Dallas to come down and stay in a motel and get shitcanned College Station style. We're gonna be sure to show them how we do. Chevy is coming into town on unrelated business so I'm sure she (and hopefully Ms. Sonia as well) will join us in our revelry. If anybody else wants to join in just let me know. I'm planning on drinking on Saturday from about 7pm until about 5am. Which means this one will be on beer all night as to monitor my alcohol intake, since Aaron always tries to kill me and almost always nearly succeeds.

It's like 5am and Im just now starting to get to bed. Shouldn't have taken that nap tonight after waking up at 2pm. Oh well, I had fun doing it ... SO fun. Catch you sluts lata.

Hey, Allison. It's your birthday. Hey, Allison. It's your birthday ... today! Happy 23rd Allison, I love you!

In other news, I was crusin around today with the birthday girl. We went to eat lunch at Souper Salad. Took us a good hour, which you know was trouble with the all-you-can-eat buffet. Then we decided to go to Wal-Mart to see if they had little shelves we could put in our bathrooms since Bed Bath & Beyond only had like 40 dollar chrome ones. Well, first we stopped off at Total Tan so I could get a membership but the girl was a bitch so I left without filling out the paper work. The big news though is that George Bush East is OPEN! Omega this is going to make it so much easier to get EVERYWHERE from my apartment. I am so completely stoked.

I have this vague feeling that I was the first car to drive on the newly opened road. They had just moved the baracades and there were still DoT cars on either side of it. And as we drove down, people who live on that street were out in front of their houses jumping up and down and cheering. We cheered, honked, and waved. It was too much fun.

Tonight I have a lab to attend. Blech. I'm kind of giving myself this week off as much as I can on account of having to do shit last week. But then Allison and gang are going out to Ninfa's. Even though I loathe Ninfa's and enjoy it even less on Tuesday nights when all the second rate frat boys and girls overtake the place, I am totally going. I'll just have to down a few drinks right when I get there to soothe myself. Then who knows what will happen. Do you ask where a shooting star will fall? Peace out, you have nots.

This is more of a pity update than anything. I realize that I haven't been very dedicated to the SVC this week even though a lot has happened. I have much to break down for you, but for now let's just hit the highlights. First, and foremost, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LESLIE! I tried to call her today and see how she was durrin, but she didn't answer. Hope it was wonderful. Tomorrow is Allison's birthday which will have me occupied for the whole night, if not the whole day as well.

The symphony was pretty cool. They played selections from Tchaikovsky and Chopin. The piano was beautiful. I dunno though... she was called the 'Nora Jones' of classical piano. I think that was completely inaccurate. She was just a really accomplished pianist ... and was impregnito at the same time. Now that takes talent.

This weekend was all about mixing business and pleasure. We had our mid-term presentation for my senior project today. We really weren't prepared for it so I spent almost every waking hour of the weekend working on designing a couple of printed circuit boards for our project. I managed to slip out in time to get drunk both Friday and Saturday, which was a blessing. I even kept myself under control, which I got a lot of props for ... getting props for not falling down drunk ... sign #236 you are an alcoholic.

Anyway, I won't keep you in suspense. Our presentation went really well. It's over now. My head hurts. My shoulders hurt. Yet I have a beer and 27 is on his way. Things are definitely looking up. More on that ... after this.

I'm not sure how it happens, but week after week I manage to find myself in hilarious situations that always involve mass consumption of alcoholic beverages. Last night I found myself shitcanned at Halo once again. Aaron was working downstairs and I guess he was bored or something. He was making my cape cods completely out of vodka. I only had 3 drinks the whole time we were there and I was fall-down drunk. He also made us some shots just to pass the time. I played two games of pool with Surge. I haven't played pool in so long. I scratched on the 8 ball in the first game, and won the second. Not too shabby.

I'm not real clear on the details of leaving the club, but I know that Leslie, Marshall, and I all went to David#27's house. He drove my car with Leslie in the backseat. After a brief stop on the side of the road for yours truly to regurgitate the evening, we arrived at our destination. Now I remember Marshall and Leslie being with us, but when I woke up this morning the apt was empty. I asked David#27 where they were and he said, "Well, Marshall is in my roommate's bed and Leslie slept in your car." WHAT?! It was like 11:00 by this point and Leslie always wakes up earlier. The kicker was that David#27 had brought her purse in so no one would steal it, so she had no keys, no phone, and no idea which apt we were in. Hilarious.

As soon as I figured out what had happened, I rushed downstairs to get her. She was sitting ever so calmly in the backseat. When I tapped on the window her only response was to turn and flick me off. She was freezing even though David#27 (after desperately trying to convince her to come inside, and making a meager attempt to drag her ass out of the car) had given her a pillow and a blanket. Hilarious. I laughed so hard this morning as we rehashed the events leading up to it. That's really the best thing that happened all night, even though a lot else happened.

Happy Valentine's Day, sluts. Take your date to the Olive Garden.

I'm not sure where to begin this blog. There is much to say about the past 24 hours. The first thing I did was take an ultra long time getting ready. The SideshoGang was all out at Margarita Rocks and wanted me to join them but I opted for a cucumber melon bubble bath instead. After a really long soak and getting my hair delightfully hawked, I stopped off at Allison's for her dessert & wine soiree. I stayed long enough for some strawberry cheesecake and a glass of merlot.

From there, I headed over to David's to get dressed, Tommy's to pick up some clothes I left there, Mosher Circle to pick up Sonia, and back home to get some shoes and wait for the arrival of my dear friend Ryan Short. He drove in from Dallas and arrived around 11 o'clock raring to go out on the town. Of course, we dropped by Allison's one more time so she could see Ryan and then headed out to Halo. Ryan came just short of his goal of dropping 100 bucks at the bar, which meant many beers and shots for the two of us, as well as anyone in the immediate vicinity.

After sufficient intoxication and dancing resulting in bruises, we headed back to James's for more of the same. I had a blast last night, and I know Ryan Short did too. We went to Fazoli's today to eat and go to witness a car jump the median, run over a tree, and speed through the parking lot. It was very random.

Oh, and the big news of the hour: The Olive Garden burned down. Information PLEASE.

Update: Now the fucking train derailed over by Tommy's apartment. WTF is going on in College Station today?

Have any of you ever seen anything like this before? I ripped the top off of this beer can with my teeth. I had to dig it out of the trash this morning and bring it home from Tommy's to take a picture and show you all. We were all sitting around drinking when Marshall bit the top off of his damn beer can as though it were nothing. And we were all naturally impressed, so he taught everyone how to do it. If you're interested I can totally show you how to bite the top off a beer can in 3 easy steps.

Chevy was in town with her friend Sonia who goes to A&M. Even though she's a freshman, she has managed to become the front page editor of the Battalion, our school newspaper. It has been a 5 year goal of mine to be on the front page of the newspaper. That and to be on the jumbo-tron at a football game, but I totally achieved that one.

I was totally supposed to go to Dallas last night for Ryan Short's birthday party (HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN) but several factors kept that from happening. It was storming and everyone who was supposed to go with me backed out. And I fear leaving town, especially alone in the rain. So yeah, there was drinking and dancing and all those antics last night, but mostly I just wanted to tell you all how cool Marshall is for being a ninja. I think I'm gonna go work out with Tommy tonight. Neither of us could move our arms yesterday, but I think we're good to go now. Until then...

School starts tomorrow afternoon. I have one class and a lab, and I guess I'm gonna go back to work. I dunno, I sure do hate work, but I am so fucking broke its not even funny. Let me see if I can even remember all of the shit that has gone down in the past few days. First off, my cell phone has been working for a while now. I stole a charger from Aaron's apartment while he was out of town. I think it may have been mine though, but either way, I'm back in business and hating it as usual. I know I've said this far too many times before, but based on the conversations I've had in the past few days, I'm just going to briefly reiterate ... I fucking hate talking on the phone. It makes me want to cut my eyes out with a spoon. Because its dull, you twit, it'll hurt more! So if you're just calling to see 'whassup' then don't. And if you're calling for a reason, keep it short and to the point. I would really, really appreciate it.

So anyway, back to the narration. Thursday and Friday, we went out to Halo as usual. Despite my announcement that I was completely partied out and most definitely not going to drink, I got shitcanned both nights. There was much vodka consumed, and much dancing. Nothing severely out of the ordinary. Saturday, I had promised Tommy weeks ago that I would go to Houston with him. I don't usually leave town, and if I do, I need like some serious emotional preparation in order to do so. I mean, despite the fact that my wallet is almost rotted in two, I still haven't gotten a new one because I'm not emotionally ready to commit to a new wallet. Thats the kind of person I am. Very much about the rut, and any deviation from said rut is stressful. But Tommy gave me ample time to prepare so to Houston we went. It was quite traumatic, I'm not gonna lie. We went to South Beach with Todd and I managed to have fun once I got a few drinks in me. They spray liquid nitrogen onto the dance floor in this huge cloud so thick you can't see two inches in front of your face and its really cold. And when you're hot from dancing it feels so good.

We finally got home around 4am. I slept the whole next day, never even made it home. By the time I woke up, Tommy had come home from work and was ready to go get something to eat. And then Aaron called me and said everyone was staying at his cousin's house in Houston and going to South Beach again. So despite the fact that by this point my body was REALLY beggin for rest, I agreed. So Tommy and I turned back around and got back on the road for Houston this time with Allison in tow. It was a blast again, especially because everyone from College Station was in attendance. Much fun, much alcohol, much dancing. Aaron's cousin lives in a mansion. It was too much fun. I didn't go to sleep until like 6am. I spent the day today cleaning up a little around the apartment and doing some laundry. Its time to stop having fun, go to school and work every day, and then graduate and the fun is REALLY over. Sigh. Good night, fuckers, hope everyone has a good first day. Leave me a comment letting me know how it went.

Well I'm back in College Station for a couple of days taking a sabatical from the holiday cheer of Plano. I was there for 3 days and that was enough for me. The first thing I did was put in my fake lip ring for when I first arrived. My mother went absolutely ballistic over it so I immediately had to reveal the joke whereas I had planned on wearing it all day. That kinda let some of the air out of my balloons, but it was still funny.

The next big fight was when I dared to walk down the stairs with my fauxhawk rawkin. My mother blew another gasket. She sure doesn't know how to pick her battles. Its not like we had company or anything, I was just going to sit around the house. So that was fun. I went upstairs and played guitar until my brother came home and took me with him to B&N. Oh speaking, the big news, I am going to be an uncle. Rachel, Stephen's wife, produced a couple sonogram pictures of the baby in her tummy. Thats exciting for us, even though she won't be able to participate in the booze cruise.

On Christmas we didn't exchange gifts, which, I gotta tell you, was the best Christmas I ever had. No shopping, no worrying, no wrapping, no fighting crowds ... just a family gettin together to play cards and drink liquor. I had my first taste of Courvoisier, and second, third, fourth, and fifth. I'd have to say I was a big fan. We played some Oh, Hell with everybody, ate some desserts with family friends and then went to bed.

The next day I went to see JennyCole and her family. Thats always fun. Then I went downtown to hang out with Ryan Short. We rode the rails to the Angelika Theater ... a new experience for me, v. classy. Then we ate at the cafe and saw 21 Grams. Worst movie ever ... don't go see it. Even though the movie was awful, I had a wonderful time. The next morning I woke up and drove home. And here I am. I spent last night drinking Coronas and Keystones with Josh 'n Tommy cause there was nothing else to do and nowhere else to go. It was fun.

Just thought I would fill you all in since I've been rather sparse in the updates in comparison to usual. I will be leaving tomorrow for the cruise and you won't hear from me until after the new year, so I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful new year full of drunken spirits and sloven kisses. Cheers!

Welcome Sidesho-Viewers. Today I greet you all from the interior of Club 511, my new home away from home. I've been all about the firsts lately, so I thought I would give Ms. Leslie Bizzell the honor of watching me whilst I update. She is, naturally, one of my most loyal viewers, and most deserving of this. We are closing out my 32nd hour of being awake. It's been a long ass time since I've been awake for this long, and I can't say that its entirely enjoyable. However, the many beers of Leslie's that I've drank and the 'martin-ay' that I drank at Chili's are helping to take the edge off just a tad.

This is the second time this week that I have stayed awake to watch the sun rise due to school. I fuckin hate school, but its over now and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I was totally supposed to go to work today but hahahahaha. So when I finally finished my paper this afternoon around 12:30 I decided to check my email. After that, it was most definitely time to get drunk with Leslie so I woke her ass up and invited myself over.

Now I find myself nestled on the most comfortable couch with far too many people. I vowed to LESLIE, Rick, and Ty, that I would stay up and party until we go to Northgate to watch Aaron dunk his ring and Josh re-dunk his right (What? who does that?). I will do my best, and I'm a total trooper. Ms. Bizzell and I (who together comprise Bizzells Photogrizzaphs) are supposed to sojourn to Houston tomorrow to take some pictures of office furniture. My uncle resales the shit, but me being the artist I am totally have an idea to, like, sell the shit out of this stuff. We're gonna have Leslie pose erotically on top of all the furniture. It's GOLD!

Leslie totally has a wireless router inside her apartment which has totally allowed me the mobility to continue updating despite the fact that we have travelled outside the confines of Club 511. I am now smoking while updating ... Another first! I completely feel (and look, as was confirmed by Leslie) like Carrie Bradshaw. Is it really our inner selves that dictate our relationships or are we all just playing the inner child?

I have to go now before I have any more fun, because there is much more to be had as the night progresses. Hopefully, I'll be awake and cognizant for all of it. Catch you sluts on the flip side. Peace out, have nots.

I have been putting off this blog for some time now. I have to talk about Thanksgiving. Part of the reason I was stalling was because I had to find out all that happened that night. I couldn't remember the last part of the celebration. Whoops. Anyway, it was quite riotous and out of control, just the way the holidays should be.

I cleaned my house all day long in between preparing the turkey, and had it spotless by the time AllieD, the first guest arrived. Shortly thereafter, Ryan and Todd came. By the end of the night, the meal consisted of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, bread, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole ... and taco salad. Ha! Gotta love pot luck. Let me see if I can run down the guest list without forgetting anyone and irrepairably damaging our relationship: AllieD, Jamey, Allison, Ryan, Todd, Leslie, Josh, Ryan, Josh, Kyle, Aaron, Ty, Rick, Bob, Antwat, Trey and Thomas. That's the best my faded memory can do. It was a lot of people. Then there were the 14 other guests ... each one a different empty bottle of wine. Yeah, we drank 14 bottles of wine ... as well as a box of Franzia ... and a 30 pack of Stones ... and a couple cases of Bud ... and a bottle of expensive scotch.

Needless to say it was a whole helluva a lot of fun. The next morning I woke up feeling wonderful, but soon discovered I was just still drunk. Later on the hangover hit me and I spent the day throwing up. But it did wonders for my abs. You should have seen the kitchen. It totally should have been deemed a bio hazard and demolished. We're talkin food everywhere, like turkey grease and shit. Wine stains on everything. Dishes piled high all filled with leftovers. Broken glass galore.

We broke 2 glasses and one bottle of wine. I only saw one glass get broken ... the other two must have happened outside since there are shards of proof. Aaron and Trey got towed. Aaron got hit in the face with a wine bottle? Antwat got taken advantage of in the back room. Somebody stuck novelty fingernails on my right hand ... and there's a pair of handcuffs on my bathroom sink. My toe is all but broken. I woke up next to Allison wearing more clothes than I had remembered. Somebody stole some DVDs from me.

I will never drink wine again. Thanksgiving was absolutely insane but totally fun. Can't wait to do it again whenever that holiday happens to roll around. Then I had to get serious cause I had two finals on Friday. I bombed the first one and did alright on the second one. The second one was Control Systems, and it was only two questions, but took me the full 2.5 hours and I didn't finish. Cra-zy. Then I went home for a spell, got dinner with Kyle at Rumors since he's goin home in a couple days, and then started working on documentation. We have huge documents due on Monday. Sucks. I should be working on them right now, but I didn't want to leave you all in suspense any longer. I'll be so much happier when all of this is done.

I made macaroni and cheese to contribute to the Thanksgiving feast yesterday with Ryan, AllieD, and her family. I made it the night before and then stored it in the fridge in the crock pot thinking I would be able to just heat it up before I left. This is the mac 'n cheese from scratch, mind you. Unfortunately, I forgot about that little fact of Velveeta that after any time left to set, it will turn to concrete. I eventually got it remelted, though I had to add like another cup of milk to do so. I got compliments on it. Everything we ate was very good. Ryan made some stellar mashed potatoes, and then AllieD had turkey, cranberry sauce, mashed yams, green bean casserole, stuffing, rolls, and pumpkin, cherry, and pecan pies. I think thats everything. Needless to say it was absolutely delicious.

Martha Moment. The gravy was so watery. It looked like it was nothing but turkey grease. AllieD was pretty upset about it. Luckily, I had seen several shows the prior two weeks on the Food Network that allowed me to solve the problem. I took some of the turkey grease and a few table spoons of flour, and cooked them over high heat to make a quick roux. Then I mixed it back into the rest of the gravy and it came out spectacular, if I do say so myself. And I do .... say so myself. I can't wait for the next Thanksgiving (coming December 10th).

We had some white merlot with the Thanksgiving lunch, and I had my fair share to drink. So, when I got home, I fell asleep for the remainder of the day. Then, I went with Marshall to Wal-Mart because it was the only store in the city that was open. We got new CD's ... I bought Britney and he got Nelly Furtado. Then, I went and drank a bunch of beer over at Raul's. I never want to hear Christina's "Dirrty" ever, ever again.

I'm watching the A&M vs. tu game right now. Since it's already in the 3rd quarter, my prediction for the game is going to be a little bit influenced by the current score. So, I'll say Aggies are going to pull this one off 46 to 28. Gig me Aggies!

I'm watching this interview with Michael Jackson. It's pretty unreal. I don't know, though. I kinda feel bad for the guy because he's obviously out of touch with reality, and you can't really blame him for being insane. Although, as I'm watching how people react to his presence everywhere he goes around the entire world, I can't help but think that he might be jesus. I mean, how many people do you know that can reduce a person to tears just by being 50 feet away? I'm sure most of you won't agree with me, especially based on the recent events. Just don't forget: jesus loved the little children.

I didn't really do anything today. I was out last night drinkin' some beers with Leslie, Josh, Rick and Steve when I got a call from Raul saying that Chris was over at Terysa's (how is that for some name dropping). So I went to chill with Chris since he left town this morning and won't be back until the Christmas break. That was a good time. When I got home, my stomach was kind of queasy, so I took a phenergin. That was a bad idea, since you're not supposed to mix it with alcohol, really. But that's just a suggestion. So, I ended up catching roughly 15 hours of sleep while missing class and work today. Whoopsadaisy. I spent the evening cooking some meat 'n cheese for me and Ryan and then preparing the mac 'n cheese for Thanksgiving at AllieD's tomorrow. Not sure what else I'm gonna do tonight. Thomas might come over and watch a DVD. I should buy a boat.

My life is a perpetual hangover. I would go into more detail on that statement and get philosophical, but you all know that is not what this webpage is about. What is it about?

Well, last night Dustin and Trey came over for an ice cream party. I had a craving the other night for raspberries. I may or may not have revealed this little fact before, but I will do anything for raspberries. If you're ever at the bargaining table with me, money's not very effective ... bring raspberries. I knew they were out of season, so they were a tad expensive, but they were sooo worth it. I brought them home and threw a handfull of sugar on top of them, and they just melt into this raspberry sludge that made me giddy. So, I bought some ice cream and put the berries on top.

Dustin, being Dustin, brought a bottle of wine with him and we sipped on that til it was gone, and then decided to go out. I got drunk and ended up leaving with Raul and Terysa and partying back at Terysa's crib. It was a lot of fun, but I woke up hungover again and my throat is on fire. I hadn't smoked all last week and it is amazing how quickly your throat gets acclimated to not being singed every hour. I met a bunch of people last night. Raul mentioned SideshoViD.com. Anytime people find out that I have a webpage, they immediately want to be on it. Even if they've never seen it and don't know the url. This was the case with Brandon, but I promised him, nonetheless, that I would mention him. Ryan Byrd showed up at the shindig as well. It's never a party without him. And Josh Sievers seems to think I don't talk about him enough, which is probably true. And naturally, if I mention Josh I don't want Leslie to get jealous. They were both out at the club last night, and its always a pleasure to run into them (don't worry, they're okay).

On another note, the money is still up for grabs. The picture that Sean got was of a guy with a really long braided rat tail. The guy deserves our derision, but he is not Padawan Boy. So keep snapping pictures! I didn't want Sean to feel bad, so I thought I would include his picture anyway. Nice shot, btw, especially considering it was taken with a phone.

Last little note: Thanksgiving is set for December 10th. That is the Wednesday in two weeks, aka the first day of the Dead Days this semester. You are all invited, however, I would appreciate it if you would let me know if you want to come. And in order to get in the door you have to contribute something to the feast. If you don't cook, a loaf of bread, a bottle of wine, a case of beer ... all these are appropriate. I might also need another fold-out table or some chairs. That would depend on who is coming. I just can't make as many sides this year because I have a small crappy kitchen, whereas this summer we had a big kitchen and 3 of them right next to each other to use. It will still rule though because my turkeys are the best. Hope to see most of you there!

So last night Thomas and I decided it would be a good idea to get drunk. I love when your plans for the evening involve nothing beyond "get drunk." It just opens up a world of opporitunity. Of course, we didn't really explore any of those options, and opted for an old favorite: sitting at Ryan and Todd's playing drinking games. Can't go wrong there.

We played several rounds of Suits to which Thomas skoffed and informed us he was "no cheap date." So Ryan fixed him up with a shot and we continued playing. Ol' Tommy had to excuse himself from the party a little early, but I suppose that was a good thing in the end since he had to be at work at 8am.

I know that I've been a little under the weather lately, but I stayed home on a Thursday so I was starting to get the shakes. Sometimes drinking while you're sick makes you sicker (see the last two weekends) but then once you pass that threshold, you can actually wash away the remaining sick cells with a good ol' toxic poisoning of beer. Mission accomplished. I feel great today. I'm about to go to Wal-Mart with Karen just for a reason to leave the house. It's been another couch-a-rific day. And in future news, Chris is coming home on Monday for Thanksgiving. We had a drunken conversation last night, that I really don't remember. But I do remember that one point. Alright, you have-nots... peace out.

So my weekend was pretty good. I went out one night with Owen, Allison, AllieD and Jamey. That was rather uneventful. Last night Ryan, Todd, and I decided to just drink a whole bunch of beer. I actually bought 30 Stones to contribute to the party. But then Rob called me and reminded me that it was his birthday and that his party was going on. There was a keg, so naturally, we decided to go there. It was a quaint little party at a house that I've partied at before, even though I don't know the guy who lives there. There were a few people there that I knew, most of whom I hadn't seen since this summer. I drank a whole lot of Shiner, and Allison gave me a ride home. Fun times had by all.

I have an exam tomorrow at 8am. I should be getting to bed soon. I just got done studying at Sweet Eugene's with a group of friends. I think I understand everything well enough now to pass the test. The trick is going to be getting up and going. Hence the early bed time. But it all works out okay since I only got like 4 hours of sleep last night and I'm still a little hungover, so I've been looking forward to sleeping for quite some time.

In fact, I think I'll go do that.

I managed to make it through the entire weekend only spending $3 on ground chuck and frozen broccoli. I can make a mean meal with that and a handful of salt. I still need to go to the grocery store, but I'm allowed to now since I made it the entire week without spending any money. This was made possible in no small way by all of the generous friends I have. I have to thank Danny, Mark, and LESLIE (who specifically requested that her name appear in all caps). I also told Rick that I would mention him, and he claimed I would forget. But since I remembered, I think that should mean he owes me a drink.

That was on Thursday night. The same night that I decided to tote along my jug of tequila just in case I didn't get drunk enough. God, I love tequila, and tequila loves me. Which worked out for the best because I was still a little hungover on Friday night, and didn't feel the need to drink anything but club soda. Besides, I had that damn Santa beard on again, and its pretty hard to drink with. There were so many people out at Halo tho that it got unseasonably warm in there and I eventually ditched the wig and beard. Craig and I were hangin out together that night and we ended up going to a party at Arash's with Mark, but we didn't get over there until about 3am at which point everyone was pretty much passing out.

Last night Ryan had promised me that he would buy the beer, and then Trey called me and told me he'd bought Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit DVD Edition, so we transplanted our party over to Treys. It was a lot of fun to play. Its not something I'm used to to play a game of Trivial Pursuit and actually know the answer to some of the questions. That makes it a lot more fun and it makes the game go a lot faster.

I feel like maybe I forgot to do something this weekend since it was so much fun. I mean I skipped class and work and all that good stuff, but that doesn't usually nag me. Maybe I'm just feeling withdrawls of spending. Well anyway, I hope everyone else had a wonderful Halloween as well. If you've got a funny story to share, please do. Peace out, you have-nots.

Happy birthday, Adrian! I feel like I know you already.

Holy shit, where do I begin? I guess we should start with the costumes. I forgot to charge my camera so I wasn't able to get pictures, but Allison took a couple. Only they were with a real film camera, so its going to take time to develop them and scan them etcetera. Anyway, to dispell the anticipation, I was Santa Pimp and Allison was Slutty Mrs. Claus. They were good costumes, too. Owen went with us to the party. He was dressed as the Incredible Hulk, e.g. painted green and wearing a ripped up T-shirt. Classic.

It was a killer party, too. Everyone was pretty into our costumes. And the fact that Santa showed up with a gift sack full of condoms didn't hurt either. I hope everyone who got to reach into Santa's sack had fun playing with their new toys. So the drinking ensued, and I got more and more obnoxious with the fact that I was Santa as the night went on. Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it like a Polaroid picture.

Also at this party was none other than Spongebob Squarepants. This was a pretty big dude wearing a foam shirt with corners on it shaped like Spongebob. And he was pretty drunk. We talked to him for a little bit and he asked me what year I was about 5 times, and I think he asked Allison about 12 times. He was class of '05. He told us so many times that I still remember today. Weeeellllll, as things would have it, I pissed him off. I don't remember what I said, or when I said it, or if I really actually even said anything. But the next thing I knew I overheard, "Santa better watch his fuckin ass before I kill him." I'm not a hater, so I went to diffuse the situation. I was like, "Hey Spongebob, everything's cool man. If I said something I'm sorry, I'm not talkin shit, I'm not saying anything." And he was assuaged momentarily, until I start hearing, "Santa better get inside and get away from me."

Time out. Just for a second. I want to make sure nobody is missing out on this point. He was dressed up as Spongebob Squarepants. Mmmkay, looked like an idiot. And he is threatening to kick Santa's ass. My life rules. So all these people on the porch attempted to mediate one more time, I told Spongebob that I was sorry, they all told him that Santa was cool and wasn't talking shit, but in the end they decided that maybe Santa should go inside. Next thing I know, Kevin, the guy whose party it was, is asking me to please hide in the kitchen while they escort Spongebob out of the party. BAM! Somebody is pounding on the outside of the house. You guessed it. Spongebob was out of control.

We had been talking to these two twins for a while in the party, and they joined me in the kitchen as I hid like a little bitch. So I did what anyone with a brain would do. If this guy was going to kill Santa, then I'll stop being Santa. So I took one of the twins and innocently said, "Hey dude, put this on." On went the beard, the wig, the hat, and even the shirt. I don't think he was really cognizant of the severity of the situation because as a group of people were ushering a belligerant Spongebob out the front door, here comes the psuedo-Santa around the corner screaming epithets. And Spongebob fucking lunges at him. And he was just egging him on like, "I'm not scared of you bitch." Classic. This girl yelled at him to "shut the fuck up" so he cooled it. Once Sponge was gone, we all had a good laugh about the entire thing.

I'm not sure what time we went to bed, but I know that we woke up at 1pm. Or should I say noon. Rawk! I should probably go to work today, but more immediate concerns involve Excederin, tacos and a nap. Peace out sluts. Merry Christmas, and remember to wrap your meat. Santa hates VDs. Ho ho ho.

I had two goals for this weekend. First, I wanted to get really, really drunk. Not a problem. My other goal was to accomplish absolutely nothing. Its a hard goal to accomplish because you're never really sure when you've finished it, but I know that I did it because of a little thing I've dubbed the couch-a-thon.

They kind of went hand-in-hand because my fabulous hangover kept me from wanting to do anything. I woke up on the couch the next morning and proceded to drink dr. peppers and lie about. I spent the whole day watching food network until Josh IMed me and said he was going to make some sloppy joes. He just lives two seconds away, so I actually got up and went over there. But dont' worry, because all i did was lay down on his couch. We saw the coolest show on ABC called Swapped or Switched or something like that. Check it out.

I went home after that and laid down on the couch until Allison called. We ventured briefly to Blockbuster but it smelled like ass in there so we went to Hastings. I bought The Transporter and 8 Mile on VHS cause they were cheap. So we went to Allison's to watch The Transporter and I laid down on her couch. As soon as that was over, back to my couch I went, and chatted with Neumann until 6am. I haven't talked to that guy in like 4 years, so that was a little surreal but cool. I slept on the couch, and its now 3pm and I'm still here.

If you all had pledged a nickel for every hour I could sit on a couch ... well, I'd have a shitload of nickels. So who is proud of me?

I was putting off this blog because I know its going to be lengthy and I have a mid-term paper due tomorrow. But after proofreading this document for about an hour, I'm ready for a break. I'm also waiting for AllieD to come and get me to go to dinner. Marijuana ... harmless?

So I left on Saturday morning to go to Plano. I was in a particularly inertial mood so I sped the entire way like a maniac. I never speed, but I felt like it so I did. I made it in just around 2.5 hours. Shaved an entire hour off the drive. I got home still a little hungover from the night before, so I took a bath in my parent's jacuzzi tub. Decadent. Then I did my hurr, got dressed up, and headed over to the Methodic Church. Methodic weddings are so much different from cathlick. The damn thing was over in about 10 minutes. For those of you not keeping up to date on your SideshoViD.com blog, it was Allison's brother getting married. Congratulations Amanda and Matt! Allison was the second prettiest bridesmaid at the wedding.

After that it was on to the hotel where the reception was. Allison's parents got us a hotel room, which is a lot radder than my parents. OPEN BAR, DUDE! Four hours of all the Coors Light you can drink ... did I die and go to heaven? We had so much fun, because of, and in spite of the DJ. It was a small wedding and I knew most of the people there so it was a blast. After they shut down our little shindig (aka stopped giving me beer) Allison and I decided to go out to Dukes in Addison. Big ups to Delilah who slipped me a crisp, new 20 before we left. (Don't worry, I never told Allison.)

Okay, if I had to describe Duke's in one word, that word would be: rude. The door man was rude, the people there were rude, the people who worked there were rude ... and I was already wasted, at the point where I start loving everybody. I was going to this one beer bucket girl all night and buying beers, and tipping her $2 every time. Towards the end of the night cash was slipping, so I checked my wallet before I walked over there. And when I did, she goes "Do you have any money to tip me?" And I said, "Well its tight, but I've got 50 extra cents." And she has the nerve to say, "Fuck that, I'm not selling to you." WHAT?! Its GRATUITY! Its GRATUITOUS! Holy shit, I pointed out to her rather rudely (when in Rome) that I had been paying her two dollars to twist off a cap all night, and she begrudgingly sold me my last beer for a 50 cent tip she didn't deserve. Fucking bitch.

Then we came back to the hotel and started meeting strangers. We met one guy who had some beer so I invited him up. Then we met some guy who had been riding the elevator up and down all night, so naturally, he came with. Then guys from the bar started calling Allison because she'd invited them all over, and one of them came. Although we had no idea who he was based on his name. Then Allison got molested by the elevator guy, so he had to leave. When I woke up, our room only had me and Allison in it, thankfully.

So then I pretty much had to high tail it back to College Station for a special Sunday class ... bullshit. And now I'm working on this paper. Then I have the huge NASA review over the project I've been working on for 6 months. Then a mid-term on Friday and another on Tuesday. I haven't done shit in 6 weeks and all of a sudden, I'm busy. Sucks.

I made an observation on myself today. Thought I'd share it. Whenever I don't like somebody, I always refer to them in quotes. E.g.: I don't know what's up with this "David" but I don't like him. Keep that in mind, in case I ever say, Hey "%n". (For all your AIMphiles out there). Peace out.

Let me add one more rule to my list of Aggie Ettiquite. After the game, go home and shower, people. It's cool to go directly to Northgate from the game, but it is not cool at midnight to be still standing around in your sweat drenched Maroon Out shirt trying to spit game. Honestly.

So Allison and I came home and showered and then went up to Northgate. That was pretty fun. I got to see some people from high school and my old roommate Cade, who apparently has cleaned up his act. Always a good time when Cade's around. So we had a couple beers on Northgate and then decided to go check out this big party that was going on. We said our goodbyes, made our way to the front of Duddley's and then made a break for it across University to the dorms where we had parked. Next thing I notice is a cop has altered his predetermined course to turn into the dorm parking lot as though he were coming after us. I jokingly recalled the story when Todd got pulled over for jaywalking and told Allison the same was going to happen to us. Telling that story might have been a bad idea.

Because we decided to avoid him. When he was on the right side of the cars, we walked on the left. As he circled around we meandered through the cars. It was becoming more and more apparent to us that this dude was trying to talk to us, so we darted through the cars and went to Moore for a while. I needed to pee and I was seeing if anyone I knew was there. My old summer roomie John was outside. So then it was time to make a break for the car. We figured that there was no way this guy was going to expend anymore energy than he already had on a stupid jaywalking ticket. Wrong. He was still there waiting for us. We went behind the dumpsters and around and got to my car without him being able to talk to us. Success.

Wrong. We pull out of the parking lot onto University and the fucking cop pulls out right behind us. At this point I'm considerably alarmed, but I don't want to say anything to Allison and get her paranoid. Turns out, she was thinking the same thing. Just to check that he was actually following me, I thought I'd get in the left lane and let him pass me. Wrong. I got in the left lane and he switched lanes as well. So now I'm officially being tailed by a cop, and I cannot show up to a party with 5-0 on my tail, so I change my destination from the party to not-the-party. And I guess the fact that I was switching back into the right lane to try and get away let him know that this was the end of the road and he hit the lights and pulled me over.

Now I'm thinking to myself that jaywalking is not that big of a deal and everyone does it, he sure did go to great lengths to catch me. So I hand him my license and he says "The reason I pulled you over was because you're wearing a black shirt." [Insert dramatic pause] WTF? Well, as the story goes, someone in a black shirt was shooting paintballs at people on Northside that night, so I guess its common practice for the police department to pull over anyone coming from Northgate wearing black, since it is, by all means, a rare and hard-to-find shirt color. Although it was fun explaining why we were totally avoiding him in the parking lot. I just told him that we were deciding whether or not to go visit people at Moore and he bought it. Whew.

So then we got to the party and proceeded to tell that story many, many times. This party was total sensory overload. I've never seen so many beautiful people under one roof. We totally took this guy up on his offer to drink as much as we wanted and I soon realized that I was not going to be driving home. But CARPOOL stops running at 3 and we were not going to leave this party at 3, far too early. Next thing you know you're waking up on some strangers couch without a care in the world. I called Allison to find out where the fuck she'd gone. Turns out she was on a couch not 10 feet away from me. It was a killer party dudes, 5 bucks to get in, but I seriously didn't mind. Rock n roll.

And the final piece of news, today is Chris's 19th birthday. I would put up a link to IM him for his birthday, but he is never online these days. So in lieu of contacting him, let me just say Happy Birthday Chris!!!

I've been putting off this blog because its going to be pretty long and I haven't really had the time to sit down and type it since I've been home. As you may know, I went home to Dallas this weekend. There's no need for pretense so we'll just jump right into the story. I got home on Friday evening and saw my mother briefly. My parents were going to Oktoberfest in Addison Friday evening and then leaving for my cousin's wedding in Denver, CO the next morning, so I really didn't get to see them. No bother though, it actually worked out better that way.

So Friday night I met up with Clay and we went to a housewarming party in Highland Park. It was the coolest house I've ever been in. It was three stories tall with four bathrooms, a huge backyard deck, beautifully decorated, a media room upstairs, and a room with some really expensive X-Men comics in it, which I appreciated. I got a little bit drunk, but we left early because we knew we were going to be getting up early on Saturday to go to Six Flags. And thats just what we did.

I woke up around 10 on Saturday and showered and got ready and Clay came and picked me up. We met up with 4 of his friends downtown and headed out to Six Flags. Has anybody been there recently? We got this thing called a Q-Bot which essentially allows you to wait in line electronically. It cost us like 60 bucks between the 6 of us, and you take this little thing around with you and you lock into rides. And it saves your spot and beeps you when its your turn to ride the ride. And then you just walk right up to the front and get on, while all the have-nots look on in disgust. It was SO fun! We got to ride every ride in the park without once waiting in line. Its actually genius on so many levels though, because if you're standing in a line for 2 hours, thats 2 hours that you're not spending money. The Q-Bot freed us up to walk around and buy shit all day long. I really only spent money on water the entire time, so I didn't lose too much. I did get my knife confiscated at the door though, that was pretty funny.

Anyway, then everyone was planning on going out, but I, naturally, had to go home and shower. I was exhausted by the time I was ready to head back to Dallas, but being the trooper I am, I managed somehow. I called up Ryan Short to see if he was going out and he was, so instead of going back out with the group of new friends I'd just made, I called and left them a message saying maybe I'd see them out and went to Ryan's. Good thing I didn't rely on them, too, cause apparently they went home and fell asleep for the entire night. Anyway, Ryan and I got ready and picked up his friend David Spielman and went out downtown. We started out at JR's and the beers were not really making me feel well, so by the time we went into the Village, I was ready to just sit down. I was really falling asleep. So I did just that. I have no qualms, people probably just thought I was rolling to hard anyway. But I wasn't a total drag the whole night, I got up and danced a little bit although I didn't drink anymore. By the time we ended up at a late night restaurant watching these two scarf down chinese food, I was about to fall asleep on the table. We finally got back to Ryan's around 4 and I just crashed there because I was too tired to do anything else.

The next morning Ryan made some delicious pancakes, I borrowed a shirt (it says Texas is for Lovers and I liked it so much that Ryan gave it to me -- THANKS!), and we went back downtown for the parade. It was so much fun. We were catching beads and stuff. Ryan took an assload of pictures, but he took them with film (who does that). So as soon as he gets some scanned in, I can put them up here for you to enjoy. The parade was nuts, we ate some lunch. After the parade there was like a political rally and the people for Howard Dean were there. I got a button for my bag. It looks quite striking next to my peace propaganda. After that we took a nap and then I hit the road bound for College Station.

All in all it was one of the most fun weekends of my life. I really needed that. Thanks to everyone who was influential in making it happen. In other news, I pulled some handi-capable tickets to the game on Saturday against Pittsburg. Allison and I are going to be on the front row of the second deck for a game that is going to be televised on ABC. We want to wear T-shirts that spell something out, but so far all I can think of it either "GO" or "TX" or "AM". Any ideas? I'll tell you one thing though, it'll be nice to be sitting through all of those damn TV timeouts. I predict we will win 67 to 12.

And in international news, I've decided to leave the country. I'm not sure when, but lets just say ASAP. My new dream in life is to move to Germany and get a job writing technical documentation for German companies auf Englisch. I guess in reality it would be better if I could be a straight up translator, but I'm probably at least a year away from that. I used to be almost fluent, but not so much these days. Anyway, I think that's about enough blog for now, thank you for your patience, you have-nots. Laaaaaaaaaate.

Yesterday was really fun, but weird at the same time. I have never been so clueless about what time it is in all my life. It may not sound that mind boggling to any of you; however, I will still attempt to explain. So I woke up on Saturday at 10am because I had told my boss that I would come into work and mill out a circuit board. I was so hungover it wasn't even funny, which sucked cause I didn't even get drunk the night before. I guess these things happen. Or maybe I was genuinely ill, but just didn't notice because I drink too much. Either way, I was not rested and my head was pounding. So I called my boss to see if he had finished the design for the board and thankfully he had not, so I went back to bed.

Allison came into town to move into her new shithole, I mean, apartment. It's modest, we'll just say it that way. Anywho, I had to go move heavy things in the hot sun which really helped my temperment. Then I had lunch with AllieD, Jaime and AllieD's mom whom I'd never met before. That was delicious although Los Cucos has about the worst service I've ever seen (and I've eaten at Kerrie's Stacked Enchiladas). So anyway, after I was done with all that, I went home and fell asleep. I woke up around 5pm cause Todd called me to go meet him out at the Campus Lodge pool. Enter beer.

There were some random people in the pool that were pretty cool. They had this little game called Alcohol Poisoning. It was really quite clever. There was a basketball hoop, and the rules were a lot like Horse. The only twist is that anytime you miss a shot, you have to drink an entire beer. And you play until somebody spells out Alcohol Poisoning. I'm not a big sports guy, so I neglected the invitation to play but I did drink a bunch of beer and get some sun. Great day. I went home and absolutely crashed.

I wake up at like midnight with no concept of where I am or whats happened. And I see 7 missed calls on my cell phone between two people. So I called Chris and we went out for like an hour until the bars quit serving and I managed to get a little drunk all over again. I went home and thanks to the fact that Todd never called me back (jackass) I fell asleep in my recliner ... again. Now all of a sudden its 6am and I'm not tired anymore. So I made myself some food since I hadn't eaten the night before, took a shower, and went to bed.

I wake up again at 11, pay some bills, clean up a little, and I'm thinking, "wow its almost dinner time," when I look at the clock and realize that its only 12:30 and time is absolutely dragging by. So here I am at work, taking advantage of the internet connection. I was hoping my boss would have sent me the design to mill and I could do that today cause I'm so fucking bored, but alas, in true style he did not. Oh well, I guess I'll just sit here for a couple more hours and then go chill in my empty apartment some more. I'll catch you sluts on the flip side. Laaaaaaaate.

So yesterday some of Ryan and Todd's friends from out of town came to visit. People that have been in this blog before, like DAvid and Joel. And I met Wally and Daniel as well, two more grads from Arlington High. And of course, they were in the mood to party, so after a bit of pre-gaming, we headed to the Northgate. Oh, before I go any further, I did bring my camera with me last night, and though I didn't take many pictures, I did promise DAvid that I would put a picture of him on my website.

As you can see, DAvid is going bald. So back to my story. Todd, DAvid, Wally and I decided that instead of buying our own drinks, we would just take turns buying rounds, so DAvid started off with the Royal Fuck. Mmm, delicious. Wally countered with a shot of straight Goldschlager. Always a treat. Todd spent his money on Red Headed Sluts. Can't go wrong. And believe it or not, I actually bought my round, only I did it at the Dry Bean. And everyone came with. So Mr. Big Shot (no pun intended) decides to buy a Screaming Nazi for everyone there. Ended up being $32, but it was delicious so I didn't care.

So now we've got some beers and shots in our system and we go to Shadow Canyon to dance the night away. Oh, and drink more. I actually danced so you know I was quite faded. Ran into Dustin and Trey on the dance floor. It was almost closing time so they were double fisting, which, to me, was an invitation to steal a drink. It was a vodka sour. Then I felt like an asshole so I went to get us each a drink before 1. I am carrying 3 double cherry vodka sours, spilling them all over people, and they were gone. I could not freaking find them. I bumped into some girl and as my apology I gave her a drink. Then I gave the other drink to some random girl. Who does that? They should have been more wary of me, but I didn't slip anything in them so it was okay.

No problem, it was closing time. I thought I'd just meet up with my friends and go home. Whoops, where were they? I don't know. I ended up sitting on the curb of the EZMart dialing people in my phone to come get me because Todd wouldn't answer his damn phone. I got fucking left. That sucks. Anyway, Dustin and Trey swung by and picked me up and took me to Ryan and Todd's where the party was still rocking. Needless to say, this is where I ended up:

Just be glad I photoshopped out the contents of the toilet. Let this be a PSA for you. How tacky am I. Can't wait to do it all again tonight. Czech you skillets lata.

Today is the first go at a photojournalistic approach to my website. When Keith came in town for his 21st birthday I made sure to drag my camera along for the ride. I joined Keith and his friends over at Mad Hatters for starters. I'm not much for casual drinking on a 21st so we quickly adjourned to the only logical bar on Northgate -- Dry Bean. This is where our first pictures are from.

Then Keith wanted to go to the Dixie Chicken. I don't know what the fuck was up with that, but it was his birthday which means he can do whatever the fuck he wants. So we went to the chicken.

The caption on that picture reads "Fuckin A." Anyway, the next exciting thing that happened was running into Christine. I haven't seen her since she moved out of her duplex next to mine. She was in town for some work thing or something. She obliged to pose for this pic.

Isn't she the cutest. These pictures sure to make my blog long without me having to say much. I guess its true what they say -- you can't squeeze blood from a dead horse, but you can make him drink. Last night was a total blast. BJ had a keg so me and the crew dropped by and drank all his beer and then went back to Dustin's for deeelicious margaritas. I ended up spending the night over there. Today I'm totally hungover. But thats what life is all about. I do need to do my laundry, though, since James totally pushed me down in the mud last night when he dropped his wallet and I tried to steal his money. It was a lot of fun. You had to be there. Okay, its time to rejoin society now, catch you all later.

Thank you to everyone who had something nice to say about the new layout, screw the rest of you. Also, thanks to everyone who pointed out that the abdominal muscles on that one drawing are a tad ... howyousay? ... emphasized. But it's soon to be true because I have worked out for the past four days in a row and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. I ran into my friend Scott at the rec when I randomly went on Tuesday and decided that he was going to be my workout partner. If I have someone call me and say, "Okay I'm heading up there," then I'm way more prone to stick to it. So we'll see how that goes.

This past week I attended a 3 day tutorial on how to mill circuit boards from scratch. You may not think thats cool, but I'm frickin' excited about it. This machine we have is so badass. You draw a circuit board in software and then hit go and it goes and shaves off copper from a board until you're left with the circuit you designed. Its really cool and if you're lucky, maybe one day you'll have one of my circuit boards in your brain.

Last night I went to Shadow Canyon with Ryan. It was fun, but the story I want to tell is from when we first got there. We didn't end up going out until 11:30 because I was workin out, eating, and showering. So we decide to start with a shot to get us caught up, so naturally I order a couple of 4-Horsemen. But Ryan didn't hear me. So when I handed it to him he said, "Whats this?" to which I replied, "An oatmeal cookie." Nonplussed as ever, he threw it back to an unpleasant realization that it was indeed a 4-Horsemen. I had to laugh. Although, I'll probably get in trouble if I don't credit the true creator of this gag, Allison. She did it to me one time at Fitzwillies with a Liquid Cocaine. Same effect. Anywho, that's all I can think to report, if breaking news comes up, you'll be the first to know. Ciao.

And I'm 22. Wow, feels good to be a palindromic age again. I suppose there are a lot of stories to tell from this past weekend so lets jumponit.

Friday, Allison and I woke up around 7:00 and got ready to leave. We hit the road around 8:30. There was some severe ass weather on the way to New Braunfels to the point that I almost, almost pulled off to the side of the road. But there was no traffic so I braved it through the storm and it didn't slow us down too much. It was a little disappointing though since we were on our way to hopefully float down the Guadalupe River ... and a raging thunderstorm wasn't what we were looking for. We eventually made it to Jenny's parents lake house and met up with the girls were were chillin with. They were iffy on floating because of the weather, but they were also going to be there all weekend, so it didn't matter if they didn't go on Friday. We eventually coerced Lindsay and Jenny into going with us that day. So we loaded up the cooler with sandwiches and tonz of beer and headed out to a rafting place.

If you've never done this before, you need to go this summer while you still have the chance. It was so much freaking fun. Even though the water was freezing cold and my ass was completely numb by the time we were done, and even though the sky blackened halfway through and threatened to storm. We drank so much damn beer, all floating on inner tubes with our feet propped up on the middle tube holding the cooler. At one point, a police officer in the river pulled us over to check our IDs. They were all in the cooler in a ziplock bag with our money, so I had to stand up to get them out. Bad idea. Drinking in an inner tube for hours and then standing up in a river is a bad combo. Yeah I fell down. We all thought it was hifuckinglarious, but I'm not so sure the sheriff saw the humor. We eventually made it down the river about 4 hours later and then were treated to the most fantastic dinner of brisket, beans, potato salad, cake, and watermelon.

At one point, my good buddy Kevin drove up to the lake house to see me. As you know, he has the same birthday as me and we weren't able to celebrate it together this year. But he was in New Braunfels so he dropped in to say hello. That was a good time. It's always good to see Kevin. Btw, Happy Birthday Kevin ... I don't want to deprive him of his SideshoViD.com shoutout just because he shares the momentous occasion.

The next morning we had an awesome breakfast of homemade egg McMuffins and then hit the road for Austin. We stopped off at the San Marcos outlet mall but didn't find anything to buy. We got to our hotel around 3 but our room wasn't ready yet so we went to go eat at the Hula Hut. Its some Austinian restuarant that Allison ate at years ago and wanted to find again. Brandon joined us there because he was in the neighborhood. I have to admit the food was damned good. After that we went to our hotel room and showered and then took a nap until about 8:00. We watched some TV while drinking beer and then got ready to go out on the town.

Man, did we ever have a time out in downtown Austin. It sure is a far cry from College Station. Much, much different in all the best ways. It was so much crazy fun. We tried to hit every bar on 6th street. I'm pretty sure we never did but we came damn close, my friends. I drank so much that by 2:00 I was pretty ready to go back to the hotel room. I'm not sure what time that finally happened, but I woke up the next day with a lovely hangover.

We drove back to College Station and now here I am just chillin on my birthday. I partied myself out last night so I'm in no mood to get crazy tonight. Allison is baking me a birthday cake right now and then I think this kid is going to bed. Thank you to everyone who called or IMed, you all made me feel very special today, and for that, you deserve the best of luck making it to the flip side. Where I shall see you there. Peace out, have nots!

This is your first official warning that my 22nd birthday is in exactly one week. That is Sunday, July 6, 2003. I expect you will all be prepared for this joyous occasion. Me and Allison and some other people are going to float the Guadalupe for July 4th, which means I'll be in Austin. So there's a possibility we could stay and party on Sixth Street for my birthday since I've never done that. Kevin is also turning 22 on that day, so there's a chance I will head down to San Antonio to share that with him. Although, he has already made a slew of plans, none of which hint at the fact that I could have possibly wanted to party with him, so I may just say fuck that. The third and most likely option is College Station Burbon Street Bar throwing back far too many raspberry martinis. I will keep you all posted though. Also, Happy 21st to my best roommate ever, Keiffer. It's going to be happening somewhere around here soon!

So karaoke night at Shadow Canyon was fun. So much for no more drinking on weekdays, but this was a special occasion ... we call it Wednesday. I met up with Ryan and Todd and headed to watch some of the worst and some of the best karaoke I have ever seen. My friend Chris dropped by for a while as well, but now he's gone to Austin for the next 3 weeks.

Anyway, I'm just blabbing to try and make this blog an acceptable length. The real reason I'm blogging is to encourage you all to download the new song of the day, White Stripes - Seven Nation Army. It fucking rawks. I've had it on repeat here in the office for a while and nobody is complaining yet. We'll see how they feel after a week of this. Peace out.

I think I've decided that I party too much. It was easy to slip into the habit as day after day of summer rolls by with little more to do than to make sure I get to work in time to go to lunch with my friends. An excess of money and a shortage of nightly activities led to a pattern of coming home from work, getting cleaned up and ready to go, arguing with Allison about where we're going, finally begrudgingly settling on Northgate (again), drinking 2 or 3 beers at various bars until finally deciding that they all suck and always do, driving home around 1, getting into the personal stash until 2 or 3, passing out, and going to work at noon the next day.

Well, I've had enough. This tomfoolery has got to stop lest I lead a trite and meaningless existence. Last night was the first night in a long time that I didn't drink. I intend to do the same tonight. You know its bad when you've become so habitually addicted to drinking that you actually have to make a conscious effort not to. I'm also disgustingly fat, so I'm going to start going to the rec nightly again. On top of that, I bought this rad yoga video at the grocery store to help me prepare for my yoga class next semester. I watched part of it and it was too hard for me to do, so instead I just chose two or 3 of the positions and tried to do them. This is definitely a physical workout, so it should be really good for me if I can do it. Its a lot of squatting and then standing up ... shit I don't do so well. But I'm going to give it a go.

I'm excited about my new lease on life. Granted its like my third one that I've had this summer, but this time I think it may be different. So from now on, if you need to get a hold of me, no longer wait around Northgate, instead try the Rec Center. Laaaaaaaaaaate.

Hello esteemed colleagues, lesser-thans, and have nots. I would have loved to have updated you all sooner, but unfortunately, Cox Sux. These guys can't keep an internet connection going for more than a day. Every time I come home from work my AIM says I've lost my connection. And now, its been off for like 3 days. We had a pretty significant storm here the other night and since then the internet hasn't worked. To my understanding, some of my neighbors are having similar problems, so maybe this is something that affects more than just me, but I've never really given a shit about stuff like that. I need to have the internet or I will wither away. In fact, thats why I'm staying late at work tonight, just so I can abuse the ethernet connection.

Not much out of the ordinary has been happening to me. I'm going to pay off my credit card debt this month, which is exciting. I didn't think I'd be able to do that so fast this summer. In other words, money is good and I am back to the life of excess that I used to know and love. A lot of that money has gone towards alcohol, I am ashamed to admit, but it has been an absolute blast on Medina these days, nights, and wee hours of the morning.

The other night I invited a bunch of people over because we had a random hankering for some Pictionary. There is nothing more fun than drinking beers and playing Pictionary. Todd, Allison, Joseph, Will, and Cappy all came over to partake. Scooter and his friend Tony stopped in for a spell later on in the evening as well. I kicked ass as usual, though I don't think we ever ended up finishing an entire game. Despite this fact, we managed to play until about 6am, as well as polishing off around 60 beers. Good times, good times. And there's plenty more of that to come.

Future bashes may include a study session for Brandon who is training to become a bartender. He said he could benefit from some practice, I said I could benefit from a live-in bartender. Wallah. You know I'll be inviting the whole neighborhood for that one. I'll keep you all posted on any other bashes that may sporatically spring up.

I haven't gotten a comment in 23 days...

Oh man, was Thanksgiving ever delicious. It turned out to be an awesome meal and even better company. Lets recap. I came home early from work to prepare the turkey and get it in the oven. Allisons stayed at my house to keep an eye (and a nose) on it while I went back to work to finish up for the day. When I got home, I smelled the turkey and got prepared for the other dishes. I was also responsible for the scratch macaroni and cheese. Its an old favorite of mine that my mom makes, so you know it contains mostly Velveeta. I also made the salad. And by "made" I mean I cut the bag open.

Allison was the champion of the evening being responsible for the most dishes. She made green bean casserole, candied yams, boxed mashed potatoes, gravy, and pumpkin pie. They were all delicious. Will showed up with a fancy schmancy loaf of bread that was enjoyed by all. Owen contributed a bottle of cabernet saviougne (or however the hell you spell that, I just tried to make it look French). The wine was a big success and his job of seasoning the mashed potatoes was not overlooked, even though the potatoes would have been better suited as an industrial strength adhesive than a side dish. Joseph also contributed a bottle of wine -- he was rawkin' the Hof. Once he decided to share we all enjoyed it very much. AllieD beefed up the dessert with some homemade brownies that I am still enjoying on a regular basis. She made way too many, but as long as I've got milk, I'm not complaining. Finally, there was Cappy who brought the cranberry sauce at the last minute to save the day after Joseph really dropped the ball.

After we all stuffed ourselves to excess, discussed our favorite pies, and finished off the wine, I headed up to Kroger with Owen to get another 30 Stones. When we got back, Allison popped in Old School and we drank and watched the movie. Next thing you know, the fuckin fridge is empty and I'm drunk. Who woulda thought. The crowd dispersed and I passed out ready to face another day hungover. I would have to say that last night was a blast and I can't wait to do it again the next time Thanksgiving rolls around (and who knows when that will be). Thank you to everyone who brought something and I will see the rest of you have nots ... on the flip side.

First, lets flash back to Thursday where our story begins. We had the IEEE-Tech golf tournament, which is like a big deal in my major. All these dudes from industry come down and they each get put into a team of 4 with 3 students. Its like a networking thing, and everyone plays golf. Well, I don't play golf, nor do I walk around on an 18 hole course, so I asked if there was anything I could do to help that didn't involve golfing. So I got to drive the beverage cart. It was so damn fun. I spent all day cruising around the Bryan golf course handing out drinks to the golfer. Those golf carts are like big go-karts and it was totally fun for like 5 hours. And I got to drink beer and be outside on a beautiful day. I had such a blast. After that, we all went to Rudy's for a free dinner and one of the industry guys started a tab and called an open bar. Open bar, dude! Then, me and a few others reconveined at Fox and Hound to drink some more. And THEN, AllieD met up with me there and we went to Mad Hatters for the rest of the day. It was such a great day of reckless abandon and boozing.

The next day I only had one class at 3:00, thank jebus. I managed to make it to that class and all he did was give up back our grades for our calculators. We spent all semester making our calculators and I got a 91 on mine, which was fine with me. If I do well on the final I can make an A in that class, no problem. That night was also my neighbor, Breezy's, birthday party. So we just had a keg in our backyard. Not many people showed up at first, but people started trickling in later and it was also a total blast. Just shootin the shit and drinkin some beers.

Then Saturday I had to get up kinda early to go to Zachry for the MPX. In another class of mine we've been studying wireless technology by controlling these mobile platforms (MPIII's). And we had organized this race amongst all the teams. It had all kinds of tricky parts in it, like a section that was blacked out so you had to use a light and a camera to navigate it. It had a figure 8, a hairpin turn, and a section where you had to drive backwards. Anyway, me and my team MARS (Sean, Owen and Max) got first place with a time of 2:50. Second place came in at 2:51, which was really exciting. So we got little trophies and the highest grade on that semester project as well. Like I said, it was a great week to be ENTC.

Today I already went to the Rec and laid out by the pool. Gotta get back into the swing of laying out for this summer. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do this summer, but I'm not too worried about it. I know it'll be fun. This coming week I have presentations to sit through, projects to work on, a webpage to make, and a shitload of documentation to write. So I'm gonna be staying busy, that's for sure. Soon enough, my friends, soon enough, this semester will be over and we'll all have a chance to regain our composure and get ready for the next. I have two more semesters before graduation and then I'm really going to have to decide what I want to do with my life. How freaky is that. I try not to think about it too much. Anyway, I hope everyone has a good week, fun during dead days and does well on finals. I'll see you all on the other side.

Ooookay, time for the ring dunking episode of my blog. It was a total blast. I guess I'll just start from the beginning and take you through it. Kevin arrived around 4:00. He was starving and I didn't have a pitcher yet so we hit the town pretty immediately. I tried to get a pitcher at Aggieland Outfitters but they were all sold out, so I took Kevin to eat at Freebirds. I, on the other hand, did not eat solid food after noon that day. I didn't want anything but pure beer coming back up, cause that would be nasty. So we were pulling out of the Freebird's parking lot when Allison called saying she was at University Bookstore buying a pitcher, so I told her to pick me up one. Her dad paid for it too, which was really nice of him. Thank you Big D!

A few people had gathered early and I started drinking at 6. My plan was to be drunk but not full by the time we started so I was trying to get some beer in me first. Around 7 we started filling pitchers. It was pretty daunting to see just how much beer it was as you sit there for 5 minutes with the tap flowing. I let mine sit out unattended, but eventually that just wasn't cutting it, so I started pouring it back and forth between two pitchers to get rid of the carbonation. It was also too cold, so I put it in a sink of warm water to bring it up a few degrees. When I decided it was at the optimal conditions, we kind of started gathering with our pitchers in the backyard to signal that the hour was nye.

The people that were dunking were me, Allison, Ryan, Christine, Katie, Scott, Virant, Burden, Gabe and Charlie. I'm pretty sure thats everyone. Soon after, the crowd counted down and got going. For those of you who aren't familiar with this tradition, we took our senior rings and dropped them into a pitcher full of beer. Then we preceeded to chug it as fast as we could. It was insanity. I started off strong really puttin' it down. I had planned on breathing through my nose intermittenly, but that proved too difficult, so I ended up holding my breath. This meant that I had to stop and breath, though. The first breath break was clean and probably only cost me a second, and I got right back into it at a good pace. The second breathing break almost turned into a vomitting break, so I had to pause a few seconds to maintain and then kept going. I was slowing down by then. I had to take one more breather, and then I decided that I wasn't gonna stop until that ring was in my mouth. It was really hard to keep going, but I had the ring in my sights and managed to pack it all down. When we watched the video later, we were able to get the exact time of 65 seconds. Whoop! I didn't reach my goal of under a minute, but I was pretty damn close, and I came in fourth place overall. Allison, of course, waxed everybody and came in first. God I love that girl.

Pretty immediately after I finished, I turned my back on the crowd and let it go. I had also hoped to keep it all down, but that didn't come anywhere close to happening. That was so much liquid. Breezy got the best damned picture of me throwing up. Its not for the squimish though. I am going to put a link at the end of this blog to a pictures page, so if you don't wanna see it, don't go.

I wanna thank everyone who was there. Ryan and Priscilla showed up for the dunking. Todd came in from San Antonio and showed up with his girlfriend Shannon. DAvid and Sam from Southwest came with the other Todd. DAvid looted the Southwest AV club and brought a really nice camera. Maybe someone smarter than me with time on their hands will be able to convert it to a real player format or something. Later on that evening Matt Pakes and Pearl Ho showed up from Austin. Travis dropped by for a while. Matt Kerin was definitely there. He's been wondering what it takes to get mentioned in my blog. Katie's boyfriend Jeff came with her from Plano. Allison's parents were there, along with several other sets of parents. I didn't see it with my own eyes, but I heard that some of the parents were doing keg stands later on that night. Fucking rad! Allison and Jaime came too, naturally. I'm sure I'm forgetting somebody, if so, I'm sorry. Let me know.

After we'd spent the whole evening drinking it was decided that we were going to Northgate. Okay, I did not need to be going to Northgate, but whatever. I hadn't eaten dinner yet and they were selling the most delicious sausage wraps. I think I ate three. We went to Shadow Canyon and hung out and drank until 1. It was pretty fun. When we finally got home, I think I pretty much crashed right away.

Overall, it was an excellent night that I wouldn't do again for anything. Thanks to everyone who came out to support the most alcoholic of Aggie traditions. I think its about time for me to take a shower, clean up the cups and cans, and then see what I need to accomplish today. For those of you interested, here is the link to the picture page: Click here. It was getting dark outside so some of the pics are dark and some are a little blurry, but I did my best to photoshop them up. They turned out pretty good. Enjoy!

Too bad disgruntled reader won't be around to read this. Something new! And just for all my loyal Sidesho-Viewers. A lot has happened, but I am going to try and summarize it into just a few paragraphs. First, we have to start off with Ms Allison's 22nd birthday! Happy Birthday Allison! We had such a crazy night that night. We started off partying at home and then went to Northgate, where I realized I did not have my ID because I gave it to Ryan the night before to buy drinks for 2 people. So I was SOL until Ryan could make it up to Northgate. So I chilled at and had a sub from New York Sub. Tres good. That night was the night of chuggin, I dare say. We started off at home with Flaming Dr Peppers and Jäger Bombs, and proceeded to Northgate for a massive amount of shots, Flaming Dr Peppers and Saki Bombs. After the Saki Bombs they gave us some raw crab to munch on. It was so damned good that I had to go get some for lunch the other day.

Other than that, school is going well. I had a big test today that I wasn't all too happy with. I knew everything there was to know, but just fucked up and forgot some stuff on the test. And it wasn't like I was sitting there wracking my brain trying to remember, I just straight up forgot to include it. Thats what sucks about it. I left the test thinking I had a 100 and the more I think about it, now I'm expecting like an 80. Ohh well, at least I have an A in chemistry. Boo yah. I'm making an A in a freshman level course ... something I've never ever done before.

So I have one meeting tomorrow and then Spring Break is upon us. I think I'll spend most of my time lounging about and working on projects. On Saturday I am going to listen to Stephen Hawking give a lecture on campus. I'm really stoked about that. My friend JennyCole from Plano is coming up to see him. She's the biggest Hawking fan ever. I don't think she ever misquotes him, but she does like him. I was also supposably gettting a ticket to Peter Paul & Mary from mi padre, but he just called tonight and said the show was totally sold out. He's gonna see if he can't get a couple tickets on cancellations, but I'm not getting my hopes up. That totally sucks, that concert would have rawked.

Anyway, I'll be in College Station for the majority of the Spring Break. Jenny is flying here, and I may give her a ride home, even though my parents are like gone for the week or something. And I might go see Kevin again if I can't convince him to come here. Other than that, its calculators, mobile platforms, and DUT test plans for yours truly. Hope everyone has a crazier Spring Break than I!

indite (in-DYT) verb tr.

To write or to compose.

It seems that this has become a bit of a weekly occurence these days. I'm sorry to all of my loyal Sidesho-Viewers ... I just don't ever feel like blogging anymore. I've been really busy and enjoying that fact. I do my best to have a list of things to do every day and get them done. So far my system has been flawless, but I just know that one little monkey wrench will cause the whole thing to self destruct.

Last night I went to Ptar's with my neighbor, Breezy. We met up with Ryan and Todd and their friend Sam. Sam was insistent on buying everyone shots. Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't complaining, and I certainly wasn't declining ... but I got real drunk on Thursday so i was trying to take it easy last night. Well then I get a call from my lab partner, Owen, and he's at Northgate. It had totally slipped my mind that it was his 21st birthday. So congrats to Owen, Happy Birthday.

Now, some people at the Ptarmigan were a tad perplexed that I would leave them to go to Northgate to hang out with my lab partner. But if you know me at all you know that me and my lab partners spend more time together than me and my roommates do. Plus Owen never drinks so it was a special occasion. Me and Breezy met up with Owen at Northgate and headed right for Dry Bean. I knew that I had to buy him a Royal Fuck, the best shot on the menu. That was fun, then I decide we need another. So we took a Sex with an Alligator. Good stuff. Then Kerin came in and he was having a round of Jäger Bombs. So I threw in for Owen to join us. Immediately following that Owen claims that he's always wanted to try a Saki Bomb from Kyoto Sushi. What a champ. So we went and took a Saki Bomb. Needless to say, it was Carpool for the ride home. I ended up seeing Allison and Christine out at Northgate so we rode together. I know that I drank a few more beers, ate some frozen Mexican food and then passed out on Allison's couch.

It was a great night. Man, these weekend posts are consisting of nothing but a drink menu from my night before. Oh well, its more exciting to talk about than digital outputs needed to control an SM-E040 stepper motor. I called Owen today and he said he threw up in Chevron and then at home, for any of those that were wondering. The story wouldn't be complete without that. So I hope everyone else had as good a weekend as I did. Leave a comment some time this week if ANY of you have the time. Peace out, have nots.

Sigh, its that time again. That time when I have nothing better to do than sit down and update my webpage. You're in luck though because I have a really good story for you all. Well, actually, its just a good story to me, you might hate it, but I don't care.

So Joseph came over last night to get drunk with me. We had some Coors and Stones and sat around bullshitting. We went outside for a smoke and there were two girls standing outside my house, so we started talking to them. It turned out that one of them used to live in my neighbor's duplex, and they were just visiting. They were attending a party in the next building down from me and invited us to go over there with them. Aight, so we went.

We walk in and every guy there is like 8 feet tall and 250 lbs, and every girl is skinny, blonde, and huge-breasted. I was wearing a sweatshirt and a tennis head band. Me and Joseph, Matt and Suds ... mosdef stood out like sore thumbs. So the party starts dying down and Joseph recognizes all of these guys as being A&M football players. He sees Duwan Gentry, who plays corner back, and in his drunken state decides to go talk to him. Joseph's all "Hey whatsup Duwan, how do you like Franchionne?" and this guy does NOT want to talk to Joseph, he's all flipping thru his cell phone numbers looking for an out. And then Cody Scates walks in and Duwan was like "What'd you say Cody, hold on I'll be right there" and makes his escape. I guarantee you that Cody didn't say a word to him. It was so funny.

So that's my story. I love crashing parties, it is so hilarious especially when you really don't belong there. At least I don't have purple hair anymore, that always threw a monkey wrench in the crashing process. Oh well, I'm sick of blogging, czech you skillets later.

Happy New Year! Welcome to the year 2003, WHOOP! Today is an absolutely gorgeous day outside so I thought I'd waste it by playing Grand Theft Auto all day. I'm getting pretty far in the game, and its so damn addictive. So you wanna know what happened last night? Well I'll tell you. First I went and actually bought alcohol. That almost never happens, and wouldn't you know it, we barely touched it. I had a beer before we left and I think Ryan had a beer and that was it. So I'm set for a while. First I went to Northgate with Brandon, Allison, and Ryan. We started at 315. We saw the guy make some flaming Dr Peppers. It was incredible. He had the shot resting on top of the rim of the beer glasses, and then he took a lighter and a mouthful of 151 and sprayed this massive fireball and lit all three shots and then knocked them into the glasses. It was tres cool. Then we tried MadHatters but it basically sucked.

So we decided around 11:00 to try Hurricane Harry's. I have not been there since my freshman year, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. They were playing good music, not kicker shit. They had free champagne and a free buffet, so we partook in both of those. At midnight they played the Fight Song, which was pretty cool. We ended up leaving without Allison who found her own ride home. I'm sorry, but you'll have to hear that story from her, its not really mine to share. *WINK*

In other news, I talked to my professor about that unexplained C that I got in his class and he said it was a straight up mistake, it was supposed to be an A, so that's taken care of. Then I asked him if he needed a webpage guy next semester and he said he would rather I was a TA. Its kind of flattering for him to tell me he wants me to work for him, so naturally I did not decline. I have an appointment with him tomorrow to talk it over and see which class I want to TA for. I just need to make sure my chemistry class doesn't conflict with either of them. Hopefully it won't. Anywho, Happy New Year again. Your homework assignment today is to post your New Years Resolutions on the comment board. Mine is the same as it is every year: to be more open and honest with my opinion. Haaaa. I know its not the most noetic resolution, but its worked for me thus far. End of Line.

Aaaaaaaand scene! Well that puts a close to my first night out in College Station since I've been back. We organized a little group to go out to the ol' Northgate. I was accompanied by Allison, Ryan, Cappy, Brandon and Elizabeth. Turns out like half of Northgate was closed down for the holidays so our options were a tad limited, so we limited ourselves to just Dry Bean (of course), Hole in the Wall, and Fitzwilly's. It was a good time had by all. I ended up getting vury drunk as usual. But not as drunk as Ryan. Ha.

We were really excited because Shadow Canyon was advertising a New Years Eve costume party where the first prize was $1000. We were gonna brainstorm and come up with really great costumes and try to win it cause that's a helluva lot of money. But when I went to go pick up my car this morning I saw that the sign said New Years Party Cancelled. Those bastards. Oh well, now we're going to have to find something new to do and I do hate having to think, as you well know. Hmm. I'm hungry. And I need to go talk to one of my profs, and I should probably go to Best Buy and try to spend some of these gift certificates I just got. Okay, that settles it, I'm outta here. Peace out.

Ahh, another productive night ... at NORTHGATE! My god, I have got to stop going there. But fuck it, I don't have shit else to do. Anywho, last night me and Ryan (you happy now, bitch) went to Northgate to celebrate another dead day. His next exam is Tuesday and mine is Wednesday, so we're both free. Todd stayed home and studied. We started out at the Dry Bean and each had a Royal Fuck. They were delicious. From there we decided to hit the hotspot, Mad Hatters.

Um yeah, neither one of us got the memo, but apparently it was Down Syndrome night at Mad Hatters. Everyone there was incredibly ugly and acting like a retard. One girl was even pretending to be pregnant and wearing a fat suit. And she kept on bumpin and grindin and yelling 'I'm PREGNANT whooo!' It was very strange. Needless to say, we finished our drinks as quickly as possible and skeedaddled over to the Library. I hadn't been there in forever. We met up with some girl named Kat that Ryan had met the night before. She was with her friend Heather Fuson, who I was in band with at Plano Senior High. So that was fun. I don't think I've ever actually talked to her but last night we caught up like we were OLD friends.

After that we decided to run by Taco Cabana because Ryan said he didn't have any food at home. We ran into Keith and Burns there and shared some queso and good times. I stayed the night at Ryan's cause I felt like drinking more. They really didn't have any beer so me and Todd split a big bottle of wine and watched music videos on like 5 different channels until 6 in the morning. Good times, good times. Right now I have to run up to lab for a while. You know me, go go go work work work. I'm gonna have a heart attack one of these days if I don't change my workaholic ways. Anywho, you kids be good and study hard. School is cool.

Last night I got out of lab and got home around 11:00 at night. Allison had decided that we were going to Northgate, so she showed up with a couple of beers to drink real fast before we left. We ended up getting there around 11:30. Omega, the place was off the heezy fo sheezy. It was so damn crowded there. You all know how much I hate crowds.

We started off at the Dry Bean, and ended up there later too. In between shots though, we met up with Allison's whole posse at Fitzwilly's and had a beer, and then a drink at MadHatters. MadHatters is really the place to be as of late. Its where all the cool kids hang out. I also ran into Steve-o there. Steve-o said that he visits my webpage every day but that I never mention him. Always aiming to please, as I do, I'm gonna mention him a few more times, and in bold, no less. Its convenient because the rest of our story revolves around Steve-o.

Steve-o and all of his friends are really fun to hang out with and party with, so I jump on it every chance I get. He was leaving to go to Betsy's house, so I tagged along. When we got to his car, Steve-o decided he shouldn't drive, so I took the keys. This girl Shannon that was with us was about to pee her pants so we stopped off at my house first. I grabbed the remaining beers from my fridge and we continued on to Betsy's house. Betsy and some guy, I think his name was Mike, were watching Office Space. Thats always fun. I drank my beers and had a good time like always. Next thing I know, I blinked and I was sitting in the same exact chair in the same exact position, only it was bright outside. So I was like 'umm okay.' Steve-o had to work at 11, and drive out to Iola beforehand to change clothes, so he was up early. When he was ready to go we got in his car and he took me home. I promptly showered and went back to bed until it was time to go to lab. I was in lab all day. We got wireless communication kinda working. It works sometimes. Thats cool.

Not sure what's on the menu for tonight. I'm still trying to find something or someone to do. If you would like to get some major name drops on my page, like Steve-o you'd best be callin me to hang out with me tonight. Or, just hang around Northgate and I'm sure I'll be there soon enough. Alright, skillets, I'm gonna head to the flip side. See you all there.

Where to begin, where to begin. So much has happened since I last posted, this may end up being a long blog. So go get something warm to drink, perhaps a blanket to wrap up in whilst you read, and lets begin. First off, why haven't I posted? Well, the end of the semester was a really busy time for me. I had exams, presentations, and projects to work on. I still have one exam to take and two projects to work on, but the deadlines are further away for those.

The first project was our closed loop controlled dc motor supply. Me and my group, the Users, had been working on it all semester. We had to finish it up and debug it and do all kinds of crap. I was in charge of the documentation for the project. Basically you have to document every little thing you do all semester long. The final product was 100 pages, front and back. My obsessive compulsive anal retentive nature came out while working on this document. Everything about it had to be absolutely perfect. In the end, it was. Its the most gorgeous comprehensive thing I've ever made. My professor was very impressed and even said he couldn't wait to read it. And I don't doubt that he meant it with all sincerity. We also had to put together a powerpoint presentation to show to the prof. We did our presentation pretty quick the night before it was due. We had plenty of time though since the last day, we started working on it at 10:00am and didn't finish until 9:00am the next day. I was bound and determined to have the thing finished before I went to sleep. And I did. Our presentation went well even though we got absolutely grilled on the Q&A. Our prof wanted to give us questions that were a cut above the normal question, and they were hard. I think I answered one completely right, and the other one I had to say "I don't know." I wasn't too happy about admitting defeat, but I had no choice.

After the presentation we all went over to the Chicken to relax, drink beer, and play pool. Our professor even joined us, and helped us close the bar down. I paid the pool guy 10 bucks to take the door off of the pool table, so we got unlimited pool the whole night. Because I did that, I didn't have to buy any beer the whole night cause everyone felt indebted to me. That was pretty cool. I got pretty stupid that night but I had a great time just hanging out with everyone from my major. We spend so much time together up in lab, it was nice to kick back with them and just talk about things not related to a 68332 microcontroller. Turns out, my classmates are fun people. Ryan and Todd showed up to Northgate and I was supposed to go home with them, but they ended up ditching my ass when I went inside MadHatters to find Allison. That was cool ... NOT. But whatever, me and Allison ended up getting a ride home from two guys she had met 2 seconds before I showed up. I was under the impression that she knew them, but it turned out that she didn't. Their names were Buck and Kix ... wtf? Why she was talking to a couple of guys named Buck and Kix, I'll never know, but we got home safe and thats all that matters.

Another thing I had to be doing this past weekend, in between my 14 hour stints at the keyboard working on documentation was attend concerts for symphony extra credit. I was concerned that I wouldn't be passing the class. Turns out I was right. Its a good thing I did that extra credit cause it bumped my grade up to a D. A D will really fuck my GPA this semester (which would have been a 4.0 otherwise) but at least I get credit for the class and my fine arts are out of the way. An interesting turn of events though. Our prof in symphony informed us that being a 300 level course, there were prerequisites to get into the course, which only a handful of people knew about. They messed up in the catalogue and allowed us all to sign up for an upperlevel music major course. So depending on the grades, he may curve the whole class, which could potentially bump me up to a C. That would be nice. I'm not counting on it though.

Another project I'm working on is a digital thermometer. We designed the circuit, built it, and tested it and it worked. But for any extra credit points, we have to have it etched onto a pc board. So we frantically designed a pc board, something none of us had ever done before. It was hard, but we got it done and verified by the prof before sending it off to be fab'ed. Turns out it's gonna take way more than the estimated 3 days leaving us with 24 hours to test and debug our system. Sucks. So I don't know what were going to do. Soldering the parts on alone would take that long. We'll see what happens, it may not be possible. I have an A locked down, so I couldn't care less, but my teammates could use the points. We bargained on so many added features (7-segment displays, dual celsius and fahrenheit capabilities, mounting it in a remote control car, and wireless capabilities) that we could earn as many as 10 points to our final final grade. That's so out of control.

Finally having time to relax is weird. At first I was having trouble sleeping. I would wake up every couple of hours and jump out of bed constantly thinking I was either late for something, or wasting time not working on anything. I'm better now though. I slip back into my slothfully prefered mode quite easily. All in all this was a pretty good semester, though I'm not sorry to see it go. Making the highest grade on every test in every class was pretty funny.

I've run out of things to talk about even though I'm sure I've forgotten some things. If I remember I'll post again. Anyways, I'm back now, so fear not. Updates will commence. Peace out, you HAVE NOTS!

Omega, I don't usually update when I'm drunk but there are TOO many stories from tonight for this to wait until tomorrow (or according to the date on this blog, I guess that would be today). Okay lets start from the beginning. The day begins at 2:25pm, which is when I woke up. This is significant because I had a test at 2:20 today. The deal was that I was up on campus until 4am the night before studying with friends and then I came home and set my alarm but forgot to TURN THE FUCKER ON. Deerrrrrrrr. I freeeeked out and ran to all of my neighbors looking for a ride. I ended up offering a perfect stranger 'anything she wanted' to take me to campus but as she was getting her keys Allison called me and she took me to my class. THANK YOU ALLISON I LOVE YOU. It totally saved my ass. Ahhh, Abba just came on my MP3's, they rule. Anyway, I took the test and trust me, I didn't set any curves. But I did alright.

So I got home, finally showered and got ready to go to this review session. So I went to that and then right to this Diversity Symposium on campus. It was SO cool. There was a panel of one A&M guy, one lady from HEB, some other lady and then Danny from the Real World New Orleans. They just talked about stuff in general, most of it concerning diversity both as a notion and as a specific reference on campus. It was really really refreshing to just listen to people talk who share the same opinions as me. As you might have guessed this doesn't happen very often on this campus. Long story short, I really enjoed just being in the audience listening.

Then it was time for some fucking beer. But first I had to eat, since I hadn't had a chance to do that before. So I called Joseph and we went over to Fitzwilly's for some Fitz Favorites. We bullshitted for a while and made plans for tomorrow. Its his 21st birthday. That'll be really fun. Then I went over to Ryan's and chilled until we were ready to hit Northgate. We started out at the Library, but it was fucking dead. No one was there, so we went to Mad Hatters. There we ran into Humpty and Paco, guys I went to high school with and lived in Moore with but NEVER see anymore. Humpty said he still reads my blog so I wanted to give him a big ol' Shout Out. Leave a comment fucker. Anyway, from there we went to Duddley's, and then home.

I just got home and my neighbor Colette gave me a beer. Then the other next door neighbor's boyfriend Kevin came over and brought me beer after beer while we shot the shit on the porch. Now it is way past time for me to go to bed. I hope you all had as good a time tonight as I did. I love you all ... especially YOU. Laaaaaaaaaate

It's time for Monday again ... my favorite day of the week. It signals an entire school week ahead during which I'll be able to further my knowledge (and love) of digital and analog circuitry. This week is an especially exciting one since I'll be able to take a test on Thursday over a bunch of stuff that I really don't understand. Anyway, I don't really like talking about school. You know what I really like talking about.

Last night Colette and Brianne (the girls next door) both dunked their rings. It was really fun to watch. Brianne came in around 150 seconds and Colette followed shortly thereafter. And then, of course, there was a whole keg of beer left that had to be drank. I did my best to drink as much of it as I possibly could. It was a really good time. Todd, Ryan, and Sam showed up later, but I don't really remember even talking to them much. Allison swung by for a while. Matt and Keith both came as well as John and Courtney. Basically it was a good night of just sitting around doing what we do best.

I do have one misgiving about the whole weekend though. This morning (Sunday) I woke up with an enlarged uvula. For those of you who are not aware, thats the thing that hangs in the back of your throat. The only time this has ever happened to me was when I had my second knee surgery and my uvula got stretched out by the tube being shoved down my throat. Allison found something on the internet that said it could be caused by stress or an infection or something so we'll have to see what that's all about. It is SO annoying because its just resting right on my gag reflex. Yes its that long right now. I'm hoping beyond hope that I'll wake up and it'll be back to normal. Anyway, thats totally gross. I'm going to try to take a picture of it. Check you sluts later.

UPDATE: I just woke up this morning, and while my uvula isn't back to its original size, I think it is definitely smaller than it was last night.

Same thing, different week. I am a slave to routine. Last night me and Ryan and AllieD headed out to Northgate. There were minor differences this week. Like the fact that AllieD's boyfriend Jamie went with us. Todd, Joel and Daniel went with us too but they had to take a separate car. We started out at the Library. That's always fun, even though it was like totally empty. So when that got boring we headed over to MadHatters. I had a lot of fun there. Me and Ryan and some guy I didn't know took a jaunt over to Kyoto Sushi for a Sake Bomb. Those are so nasty but so fun to take. Then we finally ended up at Duddleys.

The weather kind of sucked. It rained on me at least one time and really hard. Good thing that new jacket I bought at Structure is like water proof. I was not aware of that but the water just beaded up on it and rolled off. So at the end of the night AllieD and Jamie got into some drunken argument and Jamie left but forgot he had her keys. So AllieD drove my car home and then used my phone to call him and get him to come get her. I hope they kissed and made up.

I'm trying to think of something non-alcoholic to tell you guys. Everyone must think I'm such a lush. But really everything else in my life is boooring. I was gonna make that PRSSA webpage but in the end I really didn't feel like it so I asked my friend, Shan, if he would make it for me and then I'd give him the money. So he did. The girl hasn't contacted me about when she wants to buy the disk of files from me. I think I'm going to cut some pages out of a book and put the disk in there and then when she pays me put the money in there. Like Neo, for those of you who didn't catch that reference. Yeah, I think I'm rambling now so I bid you all adieu. Have a good Friday and if you're doing anything fun, invite me.

Oh man, did we ever beat the ever livin', ever lovin' HELL outta OU yesterday?! WHOOP! That was one of the greatest Aggie football games that has even been played within the hallowed walls of Kyle Field. In my book it was the #2 greatest game ever, second only to t.u. in '99. Reggie McNeal is a god. He ran through the OU defense like it was tissue paper ... and when he couldn't, he would just make 40 yard touchdown passes. It was so damn exciting. And we won 30-26 for those of you who don't follow Aggie football very close.

Another exciting aspect of the game was when me and Allison went down on the field at halftime for Boot Line. We got right up front on the gate. It was really fun, I was about 2 feet away from Cardo, the yell leader. Then after that me and Allison were TOTALLY on the jumbotron for like a good 30 seconds. So far Lindsay is the only one who saw us. If you happened to see me or Allison on the jumbotron at halftime, please leave a comment. I know for a fact we were on there. That has been one of my goals at this university for a long time. Now, if only I could get on the cover of the Battalion ...

So everyone in this whole damn town was in the best mood ever last night after our stunning upset on the #1 ranked team in the conference. So naturally it was time to party. Me, Todd, Ryan, David, and two of David's friends from Southwest went to Concepts ... the place that used to be Tonix ... the place that used to be Charlie's ... the place that used to be Epi-Center. It was pretty cool except that there was a $5 cover for over 21 and a $10 cover for under 21. It wasn't $5 cover great. But since we were already there we paid and went in. I got completely faded and danced my ass off. It was a good time had by all. Then we woke up today and ate at Chicken Express. It was yummy.

So in summary, this has been like the best Aggie week of my life. Now next week's REALLY gonna suck. I'll see you all there (on the flip side I mean). Peace out.

Well folks, the day finally arrived. As you can see on the webcam pic there, I now have an Aggie Ring around my finger. It was very exciting and gratifying to put it on for the first time. Now I'll finally get the respect I feel I so deserve. So I went out celebrating last night. To Northgate, of course. I went with Ryan, Brandon and AllieD. I drank way too much, but it was a complete blast as always. We went all around drinking and talkin and seein friends and then took CARPOOL home, which is always a blast.

I'm going to the mall now with Todd to spend my Structure fastcash, and then I'm going to see 8 Mile at 3:45. Its gonna be so good. Tonight I'm just gonna take it easy. No drinking tonight. Whoohaaaa. Peace out you have nots.

In the end, last night turned out to be thoroughly entertaining. Ryan and Todd decided to throw the bash of the century and declared last night to be a Pajama Party. Everyone was supposed to wear their pajamas and get all messed up. Great idea. I went with Brandon over there around 11 ... at which point the guest list was already up to ... wellllll ... zero. So no one had showed up yet it was sure to get rocking soon. Or so we thought. It ended up being the 4 of us sitting around playing drinking games ... in pajamas. Tres different from every other weekend.

Even though the party was a total bust, we still had a blast. My neighbor, Breezy, showed up later and partied with us. Frank dropped by for a spell and Daniel came over during a study break. None of them were wearing pajamas though. We got drunk, ate some queso, and played Grand Theft Auto: Vice City all night. Then we passed out.

I just got back from lunch at Fitzwilly's with AllieD and Breezy. It was so delicious. I think I'm gonna lay on the couch now and watch TV and then maybe head up to lab, ugh. I hate lab. Anywho, I'll catch you kids later.

God I love Halloween. That is, like, my favorite holiday all year long. The day started off pretty sucky, but it got so much better once I mixed in some drinks. I went to class around 9 and did that whole thing. Then I had to talk to my prof about the presentation I'm going to have to give to a class next week. He said we're going to shoot for Wednesday. I really don't want to do this, but its going to change my D to a B, so its definitely worth it.

After that I had to walk to archery. We had our form test, which means we didn't even shoot. Each person took turns having the prof watch us. You had to shoot two arrows at a target that was like 5 feet away, cause he didn't care if you could aim, just your form. I got 14/15 points. He said my form was really good, but I didn't pull the bow back the same distance both times, which I'm sure is true cause I'm not very good.

Then I went to my circuit design class. That was business as usual. That gets out at 3:30 and I decided to get ahead of the game and figure out my schedule for next semester. Turns out my department has a new lady whose only job is to be an advisor. We have a real live advisor now! Like someone who actually knows what she's talking about and gives a shit. Its nice. We used to just talk to professors who had way more important things to do. Anyway, I got my sched for next semester kinda figured out. I might take chemistry at Blinn, but I don't know how to do that, so we'll see.

After that I went to the computer lab to work on my presentation a little bit, but that didn't end up happening. Instead me and my lab partner, Owen, ended up on Yahoo! games playing pool against each other. I lost twice and won once. It was really fun. Then at 5 it was up to the lab to work on our multi-channel pulse width modulator. Fun stuff, it never ended up working. Then I left to go to my car and realized I never went home so I didn't have a car. That's always a fun feeling. So I started making calls.

Keith was in Fort Worth. I swear I need to start listening to him sometimes. Then I called Allison and she was too drunk to drive ... at 9 oclock. Halloween rules. So I called Brandon and he gave me a ride home. Then he came in while I made myself some leftovers and he ended up falling asleep on my couch, and he slept there all night. Didn't bother me. So I got ready to go out and did just that. I had my neighbor Brianne paint my face with eyeshadow so I looked like really sickly. I tried to snap a pic of it, but most of it rubbed off last night. So I went and picked up Ryan and we hit Northgate.

We started out at 315, the place that used to be the Reef. Then we ran into Allison and we went to the Library. That was pretty hopping. We spent the rest of the night there. Halloween on Northgate is too much fun. Everyone's in costumes and just getting CRA-ZAY. God I can't wait for next year. So then we went to Stev-o's house. It was fun. There were drinks and I think there was some oregano going on in the back room, but I'm too innocent to know. Well I ended up passing out on the couch in blissful slumber. I was rudely awakened a while later cause I guess Stev-o's roommate came home and it was his weed everyone was smoking or something, I don't know. I was just told we had to leave 'now!' So then Justin gave me and Ryan a ride home. Thanks for that, that was cool.

Today, I might go to class, but probably not. I hate my Symphony class, its so stupid. I do need to take a quiz I missed on Monday cause I was sick tho. Ehhh, I dunno. Then I need to go to the parking garage and get my car. Its so cool that you can just leave it there overnight. Very good call on the part of College Station. They usually just do stupid shit, but this makes sense. Then I don't know what else is on the slate.

One more quick note, sorry this blog is too long. There are some very exciting things happening at SideshoViD.com. This time ... he's not alone...

Another weekend has drawn to a close. This was a particularly fun one, and if you're lucky I might tell you why. Okay, you're lucky. Lets see, last night me and Allison spent the better part of the night together. We took it slow though, no sense in chugging beers when you've got all night to drink. *WINK* Yeah so we were drinking like champs, what can I say? After got a little toasted we made some calls and my friend Stev-o came over to do a little drinking of his own. Then my neighbor Brianne came over to party with us and Keith came home. Before you knew it we had a little party goin'. Drinkin' some beers, telling some stories. Good times had by all. Then Matt came home with one of his friends, and it was just an all around good time.

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed. Okay, there's two lies in that sentence. I didn't wake up this morning, it was more like 2:30 in the afternoon, and I was surprisingly un-refreshed. Alas, it was worth it. I showered and got ready and went to the Brazos Valley Symphony Orchestra concert. I was a little bit disappointed. I knew what to expect, so I wasn't surprised, but my god could Baroque music BE anymore repeatative. I don't think so. Me and Keith both fell asleep in alternative intervals. Now I have to write a paper about it, which I'm not too thrilled to do, but whatever, it won't be hard. I don't have anything else due tomorrow since we got assigned a 2 week lab last week in my 349 lab. So thats a nice load off for a Sunday night. So in other words, no plans for tomorrow, just business as usual.

I hope you all had a good weekend too, and good luck with everything goin on this week. Keep checkin' in to keep up with yours truely. Laaaaaaaaaaate.

Well hey there, good to see you again. Since the last post, I took a big test in my Circuit Design class. Everyone thought it was pretty hard, but I came out of there thinking that I had aced it. I realized just a little while ago that I forgot to put a resistor in series with my diodes in the clipper circuit I designed, so the whole thing would instantly burn up ... oops! Other than that I think I got everything right. So in order to celebrate, I decided to go get drunk at Northgate.

Me and AllieD went to Hole in the Wall and had a couple of pitchers. Then we went over to the Library after like 2 hours of just sippin beers and chit chatting. At the library I had a couple Cosmopolitans and she had a couple of Jack and Cokes in martini glasses ... tres chic. We ran into Travis there and shared a table with him and his friend Vicky. It was a good time. At 1:00 they stop serving alcohol which sucks, but I decided I wasn't drunk enough, so we all ended up going back to Travis's place to drink some more. He made some nauseating lemonade and vodka drink and I gladly slurped it up. Then I had another drink. And that, my friends, is where the story has to end, because I don't remember anything else. Oops! It happens though. It seems that whenever I get it in my head to get really drunk, I always succeed. Just chalk it up to the maturity that is SLOWLY slowly, growing. Until next time, folks. Take it easy. And if its easy, take it twice.

Hey kids. Boy have I ever not been in the mood to blog lately. That just happens sometimes, y'know. Like you get into the groove of blogging nearly every day for a long time and then suddenly its the last thing you wanna do with your time. Anyway, I'm back now. You've sure missed out on a lot of good stuff, but thats half the fun of me not blogging is you not knowing whats going on, so instead of trying to catch up, I'm just gonna talk about yesterday.

I woke up a little hungover so I spent the morning eating a nice breakfast I cooked for myself, drinking water and juice, and taking a shower. I felt much better after that, and it was such a beautiful day that I couldn't help but be in a really good mood. Keith and Matt left for Dallas to go to the Who concert so I had the place to myself. I decided to turn off the AC, open up all the windows and turn on all the fans. Not only did I air the place out but it felt so good. I had the digital cable music station blaring as I vacuumed and dusted and disinfected. The place is currently spotless. We'll see how long that lasts. So when I was done, I decided to get ready to go to the football game against Vergina Tech. I like to wrap my knees to facilitate standing thru the entire game, so I did the tight ace bandage, metal supported brace combination. No one knows I'm wearin it though cause my overalls go right over it. Man was it hot at the game, especially in these overalls. But it was so fun. Well, besides the fact that we had 3 über-bitches standing next to us all in a huff cause they thought we were in their seats. Whatever. It was just me and Allison so instead of trying to squeeze into our seats, we just took some empty room a few rows back. It wasn't a big deal though, cause they were only there for one quarter and we left before halftime to go down for senior yell so they were only bothering us for like 8 minutes.

Senior Yell was awesome. We went down and lined up and I saw so many people I knew down there. It was like a little '03 reunion. We got to go down on Kyle Field while the Fightin' Texas Aggie Band was doing their show. Then we did two yells and welcomed the Aggies back onto the field. I could have SWORN I was on the jumbo-tron, but so far no one had seen me. The guy with the camera was panning our faces and I had the camera RIGHT in my face for a few seconds, so if it was on the jumbotron then I was too. If you saw me, please let me know. After that they herded us off the field and we went and found a new place to stand in some room of people that left after the band played. The game kinda sucked, mostly cause we lost, but I still had a blast. I got really sunburned in the face, like I knew was gonna happen. But despite all that, it was too fun. Certainly better than sitting up in one of those boxes. Thats just a random opinion of mine, not directed toward anyone.

After that, my brother Stephen was in town, so he came over to see my place. Then we went to go eat at Rockfish. Once again, I ate seafood and enjoyed it. We both got seafood enchiladas. I also ate a shitload of peanuts. Blech. Anyway, I also had a couple beers with dinner, and then stuffed myself with enchiladas, so when we got back we laid around and watched TV, and then Stephen went back to Houston. Almost needless to say, immediately I fell the fuck asleep for a good couple of hours. Allison finally woke me up by coming over to see what I was doing since I wasn't online, and I wasn't answering my phone. Then I went over to her place and watched Super Troopers. It was a pretty funny movie, I would recommend it to all of you without hesitation. After that I got online for a while, did some real nice chatting, drank a couple beers. Keith got home and we went to Taco Cabana at like 4am. Good times, I haven't done that in a while. Now its Sunday and here I am. I don't have shit to do today, so I ain't gonna worry about nothing. Maybe I'll go lay out or something. You know how I do. Anyway, now you're all up to speed, no more complaining. Czech you skillets later.

Oh, and download the new song of the day. Its the JAM, seriously.

I think I have a lot to talk about. I haven't blogged in a couple of days. So sit back, relax, and strap yourself in for this fast paced eye popping blog of all blogs. Okay thats a total lie. Anyway, what's been goin on? Wednesday passed like any other day, not much to talk about there. Thursday a lot of little things happened.

In my archery class we got to select bows. I chose a left handed 26 pound bow. I am left eye dominant so I'm taking the instructor's advice and firing left handed. He said initially it will be harder, but a better idea in the long run. And since I'm going to be a complete natural at archery, I want to be as good as I can be down the road. On Tuesday we actually get to fire arrows. I'm so excited.

On my way back to main campus from archery, my friend Nadia called me just to see what was up. I have a large break in between classes so I met up with her outside of the Bright Building just to say hi and bullshit. On the way, I ran into Adam, the guy who was in our speech class with us. We chit chatted for a little while and then parted our separate ways. The rest of the day was a total bore of class and stuff. But I did not go to open labs for the first time this week. It was a nice break. Instead, AllieD invited me over for dinner. She made beef strogonoff (if anyone knows how to spell this word I would greatly appreciate it). It was so damn good. She made a LOT tho, and it was just the two of us, so we ended up completely gorging ourselves while we watched Van Wilder (an excellent flick, I highly recommend).

After that I wanted to come home, get ready and go out. Turns out Allison was (a) in a good mood and (b) wanting to go out. So we actually went to Northgate just the two of us. That doesn't happen too much. We had a friggin blast. Well I know for sure I did, and I'm pretty sure Al did too. We started off at the library. I ran into some of my friends and we all shared a table. Allison had a Cosmopolitan cause she was already looking fabulous so she wanted to accentuate the obvious. I had a Jack and coke cause I'm a simple man with simple tastes. After that we went to Duddley's and drank some beers until they kicked us out. I completely forgot that we had parked in the garage, so I was thinking that Moore Hall was on the way to my car, so I made Allison go all the way over there cause I had to piss like a racehorse and everywhere on Northgate was locked. Burns let me in, and we chilled for a minute. Some guy was riding around on a skateboard, so Allison told him she had a phone call for him. It was the 80's and they wanted their skateboard back. Needless to say, she wasn't making friends. So we split. I got home, drank a few beers, chatted for a while, and then went to bed.

Today I woke up at like noon, didn't bother showering, went to my Symphony class. Then I did this assignment for my 349 class and turned it in, and now I am home. End of story basically. Tonight, me and Keith are going to the Toughman Competition. Our friend Jay has decided that it was necessary to gain like 7 pounds in order to be able to fight in the lowest weight division. He's going to get in the ring, hit somebody he doesn't even know as many times as he can, and I suppose its gonna prove something. Whatever the motivation though, we're so there. I know I shouldn't complain about the idiocy of such a contest when I'm funding it with my ticket price, so I'll try to keep an open mind going in. We'll see though. I'll let you all know how it goes. Til then ... be cool, stay in school.

Last night I decided I wanted to go out. I had my out-fit on. So I went over to Allison's to discuss the proposition. To make a long story I don't wanna tell into a short story, two and a half hours later, it was decided that we would indeed, go to Northgate. This was around 11:30, which means we didn't step foot into a bar until midnight. By 'we' I mean 'me, Allison, and Katie.' There was a line for The Library (where I really wanted to go) so we opted for the new MadHatter's ... since none of us had been in there yet. It was pretty neat. They played nothing but 80's music the whole time, so I guess its kinda fun to have a themed bar on Northgate. Their drink specials were chocolate martinis for $2.50. That really didn't sound appetizing to me, but I didn't want to be left out, so I opted for an apple martini for a couple bucks more. Mmmk, if by 'apple martini' they meant 'a big glass of sour apple pucker.' Needless to say, I didn't really enjoy my drink much. Allison and Katie didn't much appreciate their chocolate/alcohol concoctions either. It was a little disappointing. We did run into some of our neighbors there, though, and talked to them for a while. And I saw one of my friends from elementary school and said hi to him for a while. All in all, I had a lot more fun that if I had just gone to bed.

I don't know about Princess tho, she was about as sour as my drink. We got home and she went to bed pretty much. I drank a couple beers and watched an episode of Cheers and then went home and drank my last beer. I was all alone and bored and getting drunk and I needed some company, some conversation, and another beer. So who did I call? Naturally, I called Holly. What a class act. She drove over to my place with 2 beers so we could sit and chat and share a drink. She's too cool. After that I called Keith to make sure he was alright cause it was like 4am and he's usually home before that. Turns out this kid decides to drive to Austin with Burns last night just spur of the moment cause they were bored. Whaaaatever. So then I went to bed and woke up today hearing a howling pouring rainstorm. So I rolled over and went back to sleep. I hate rain.

I heard my Aggies won 14-12 against Pitt. That's good news. Too bad I didn't get up to actually watch the thing, but oh well. Not sure what's on the plate for tonight, but I know I wanna get out of the house at least and mingle a little bit. We'll see what happens and I'll keep you all posted.

So much to say, so much to say. Let me start with our first football game. As many of you know, there are very few things that I love so much as Aggie football, so naturally I was pretty excited about the game. My sports pass wasn't renewed like I thought, so I had to wait in this long line in order to get it renewed. The point of telling you that, is that I couldn't pull with my friends so I just had a single ticket. So did Lindsay, so we decided to sneak in somewhere and sit together. I called Todd's cell phone and made him come down from his seats with two tickets so that we could sneak into his section, and then we ended up standing on his row since there was room. We had to move a couple times and Lindsay stood in the aisle for a while (I'm such a gentleman) but in the end we had plenty of room.

The girls behind me were pissing me off though. They were 3 ugly wenches and they kept talkin shit about every single play. They'd be like "Oh boy here comes our offense, this outta be good ... of course our defense is nothing great either" or "Oh great catch, I can't believe how bad we're going to be this year" and it was just constant. I mean they didn't shut up for the whole first quarter. So finally I turned around and I said, "Hi there. Excuse me. I was just wondering if you came to watch my Aggies play or if you just came to criticize every damn play. Can we please get a little team spirit back there?" And they kind of ignored me, but they shut up for a while. It was really sappin my fun though, so I had to say something. The game was great, I rank it #3 all time behind t.u. my freshman year and Notre Dame last year. We may not have played all that great, but thats not really how I rank football games. I really like turnovers, and there were more than enough to keep me jumping up and down the whole game. I'm not sure what the final count was, but there were seriously like 8 interceptions. And we won 31-7, which always makes for a good game. Anyway, I thought it was great. And thats the name of that tune.

When we got home, my neighbors Vinny and Cheyney (sp?) had gotten a couple of kegs, so the whole neighborhood came out again. Ryan and Todd showed up too and ended up spending the night here because we all got a little bit toasty. There were some people in the next building that were having a party too and theirs was much bigger than ours. They had to have had a good 60 people just in back by the keg. And every guy there was massive. I went inside their party for a while and I was absolutely dwarfed by everyone there. It was kinda weird. I don't know if they were football players or what. I met my other next door neighbor last night too and she was pretty cool. Her name is Brianne. She made us some fucking good mashed potatoes from scratch at like 4 in the morning. We know so many people in our neighborhood now, I'm gonna need to start jotting down names on a map to remember everyone. Its so great ... so incredibly different from the Enclave last year where we didn't see, let alone meet, a single neighbor in an entire year. Except for Candy, who we met once and then totally fabricated a personality for her until she was this fictional Kramer-esque 2-dimensional comedy schtick character. Whoo-ahhh!

So anyway, the parties were a little off the heezy so like 6 cops showed up and started IDing everybody. They never IDed me though, oh well. Apparently its illegal to drink in public after 1am, and the area between our duplexes is considered public. I was not aware of that. I didn't get any tickets but both of the people hosting the parties got slammed. Like $500 or something big like that. I'm not sure of the exact figure, I haven't ventured out of the house yet today to see the damage. Anyway, I'm gonna get back to the Food Network now. I just finished up a Good Eats with Alton Brown marathon (thanks for letting me know it was on Allison). I'll catch you skids on the flip slide.

Not a whole lot has changed recently, dear friends. My room is still in disarray, though the living room is starting to come together. I've had a bit to drink. There was a keg out back one night, and that was a good time had by all. We know everyone on our street it seems. Lots of cool neighbors. Turns out the girl that shares our wall is a girl I've known for like 2 years. So thats a load off, no cranky neighbors.

I'm rather distracted right now, I'm trying to blog and watch Gone in 60 Seconds at the same time and its not really working. Unfortunately, you all lose. I'm gonna concentrate on the movie. Peace out kids, if anything exciting happens, I'll let you know.

Well this is a bit of a momentous occasion, dear Sidesho-Viewers. Welcome one and all to my 100th blog. I didn't actually realize that this moment was upon us until I saw that the archive address for my last blog was like 0000099. Its pretty exciting. I've enjoyed writing all 100 and look forward to 100 more. I know you all can't get enough of me.

Anyway, my computer still doesn't work. I'm on Keith's computer again. I spent a good portion of my night last night on the phone with the Cox cable lady and she had all kinds of things for me to do to our modem, the router, and my computer, none of which worked. Matt said that DJ has an extra network card that he's not using, so I'm going to try that and see if it fixes my problem. Other than the computer not working, I also don't have all of my furniture, which has made putting my room together kind of hard. I need my dresser so that I can put away my clothes and start arranging everything how I want it. As of right now everything is in a bit of disarray. All the stuff isn't out of storage yet either, so the living room is a mess too. I hate moving. But I love my new place so far.

Today I got up around 2 and went to get a sports pass. I apparently forgot to put that on my fee statement, so I had to wait in a line for an hour and a half for them to turn it on. All of my friends already pulled tickets to the first game so I pulled a solo ticket and I'm going to sneak down and sit with somebody I know. Not sure who yet. After that I went and saw my advisor so he could tell me some classes I have left to take. The list is dwindling. Unfortunately most of what I have to take is in my major, which requires pre-req's that I don't have. But there's still a few classes that I need to take, so I'll take some of them whenever add/drop week comes around. After that I went to the dorm to see Burns and check out where my roommates have been spending their nights this week. I've been trying to be responsible so I've been staying home and just watching TV. Tonight I drank some really good wine. Suds got it from Olive Garden cause he works there and they were getting rid of one of their vintages, so I bought a bottle for 10 bucks. Which was a steal. It was really tasty. I actually saved most of the bottle instead of drinking it all like I usually do, so I'll be able to enjoy it for a few more days to come.

I would like to go out tonight, but I shouldn't, so I don't think I'm going to. However, if somebody reads this and has something fun planned, definitely let me know. Otherwise, I'll spend my night chatting and watching MTV, which is AOK with me. Until then...

Well, I was planning on waiting to make another post until I got my internet up and running, but it turned out that I just couldn't wait that long. I am using Keith's computer right now. His works just fine, yet mine two rooms over will not even find a connection. Its very frustrating. I've been on hold with Cox Cable for about 30 minutes now. I just moved in yesterday with my roommates for the next year Keith (who we all remember from last year) and Matt. We got ourselves a nice little duplex. If you wanna know where it is, send me and IM and I'll probably tell you. I just don't want to broadcast that information. Anyway, moving in has gone semi-well. I made myself a curtain today out of heavy canvas material because the sunlight was coming directly into my window this morning and I couldn't sleep past 8am, which is insanely early for me, as you know.

But enough about me. Lets talk about my weekend. I left around 9:30am on Friday with Allison to head back to Plano because my brother, Michael, got married. Friday night was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal was nothing. It took like 10 minutes to tell us all where to stand (I was a groomsman) and then it was off to the Radison hotel in Richardson for the dinner. It was a pretty good dinner, some chicken with this sauce on it and rice and a torte for dessert. There was also an open bar. That was pretty cool. I didn't much care for the country and western DJ until he put on some Eminem. It really flooded the dance floor, and I think it was the only rap song he had, so he just played it over again to keep everyone out there. As a gift for all of his groomsmen and ushers, my brother got us headlights. They're these 3 really bright LEDs that are attached to a headband and they can either produce a steady stream of intense light or you can make them blink or dim it or anything. They're really cool. So everyone out on the dance floor had these blinking lights attached to their foreheads. It was pretty cool. I was driving so I had to stay semi-in-control. I did a good job though. Even though after the dinner party me and Allison joined some of Michael's friends across the street at the Fox and the Hound for another drink.

The next day I just chilled around with the fam. Almost everyone went off the take a nap, but I wasn't tired cause I stayed in bed until well into the afternoon. So as everyone retired, I called my friend Jay in Plano and went over to his house. I haven't seen him in like a year. We ended up going to Bennigan's for a beer and he bought me a shot. Let me tell you, it was exactly what I wanted right before the wedding, but it didn't end up being an issue. The ceremony was at 7:30 at night. It was a nice wedding. Krista, my new sister in law, looked great. And, more importantly, so did I. Everything there went off without a hitch. They flew back to Sacremento, CA yesterday and left for Maui today. They're going to be there for 8 days. Fun stuff. The party after the wedding was another fun one with another bad DJ. It was the same DJ that did my brother, Stephen's wedding. He said his name was DJ Brian. I told him he was really clever. He played all the greatest hits of 20-30 years ago. Kind of sucked, but there was free beer, so we managed to have a good time. It was good to see all the family and old family friends and stuff. Even though I really only got to talk to each person for about 5 minutes. The next day I was moving into my new place so I got up, had brunch with Allison's family and then we hit the road for College Station. I ended up giving Kari (Krista's little sister) a ride back too, so it was the fullest car I've ever driven to school.

Now here I am in my new duplex, just chillin waiting for somebody, anybody, from Cox to pick up and tell me how to get my computer connected to the internet so I can get my AIM running 24/7 and my webcam too. Hopefully that'll happen in the next couple of days. If not, I'll be contacting you all from Keith's computer at a later date. Excelsior!

Hello again, dear friends. I have returned unscathed from Sin City. My wallet, however, did not escape the inevitable. All said I lost exactly $300. The same amount that I went there with in my wallet intending to lose, so you could say I did alright. I didn't lose anymore than I wanted to, like I thought I might be tempted to do. In actuality, I won a lot of money over the course of the trip, I was even ahead at one point, but whats the fun in being in Vegas if you aren't going to gamble? Hence, I lost it back to the casinos. Dirty Vegas. So my apologies to everyone who commented on the last blog. None of you get the $100 I promised.

Recap -- The long story.

Sunday: 1:40am, Me, Ryan, Todd and David all pile into Ryan's car to drive to Austin where our flight departs from. We all did our best to nap a little before that, but it didn't ever really happen. We arrive at Ryan's sister's house in Austin about 2 hours later and she drives us to the airport. We got there plenty early since our flight didn't leave until 6am. We first flew to luxurious DFW airport ... which was kind of a bummer since we've all been there countless times, but we weren't there for long. We actually had like this 4 mile trek to get to our next gate, but luckily were able to flag down one of those motorized carts.
We arrived in Vegas around 8 in the morning due to the time difference and took a cab to our hotel. We stayed at the Aladdin. Our rooms weren't ready yet cause it wasn't 11, so we checked our bags and went to gamble. The first thing I did was put some money into a dollar slot and win 40 bucks. That was pretty exciting. I then proceeded to hop from slot machine to slot machine to find my favorite. And boy did I. Turns out I'm not only good at Wheel of Fortune in real life, but also dominate the slot machine version. That was probably my best game. We hit up a few casinos that day, one of which being the Golden Nugget. There we had the coolest dealer named Graham at the $5 blackjack. He taught us how to play better ... when to hit when to stay and he was fun to talk to. I ended up being at that table for a good 3 hours off of the same 40 bucks. At one point I was up another 40 on top of that, but ended up leaving the table dead even. At that point, I was even on the trip.
We then went back to the hotel, got all cleaned up, ate at PF Changs (our first meal in about 24 hours) and got ready for our limo ride. I was wearing a shirt I had purchased earlier in the evening, so in actuality I didn't leave Vegas completely empty handed. Our limo took us up and down the strip ... and then a tour of all the seedy strip establishments in Vegas, but we didn't actually go inside any of them. Our final destination was the Hard Rock. That place was pretty damn sweet. However, the smallest tables they had were $10. So I start off all confident and play $50 worth of blackjack and lose it very quickly. I was kind of upset about that since I didn't even get to play more than 10 minutes, so I went and found Wheel of Fortune. It wasn't as nice to me at Hard Rock, so I lost 40 bucks. I did however get to see Chris Kattan walk right by me. That made my damn night.
Since you only get free alcohol when you're gambling in a casino, I essentially spent 90 bucks for 2 beers, which was ridiculous. Todd was also way down on the day, so we decided that instead of paying 45 bucks for a beer, we might as well sit at the bar and pay 4 bucks per beer, which we did for a while. It was a much better time than throwing away your money for nothing. So that was the first day.

Monday: Discouraged by our loses the day before, me and Todd decided to hit up the pool the next day when we woke up, so as to delay our inevitable next loss. David joined us and we sun bathed for a while. The air in Vegas is so dry though that it'll sap your eyes of any moisture they have ever had. My eyes were almost completely colored in blood red. Scared me pretty good, so I bought some Clear Eyes and they returned to normal. I had to rewet them several times a day though. Then we went to a couple of casinos. I don't really need to name them all, if you're really that curious, just let me know. One I will talk about is Excalibur, cause we robbed that place blind. All of us came out of there ahead ... something that only happened at Excalibur.
We first hit up the horse races. It was this game that had 5 little horses in this little race track and you'd bet on which 2 horses would come in first, and each combination had different odds for each race. And you have like 30 seconds to place your bets (a quarter each) and then it takes another 30 seconds at least for the horses to get around the track. And you can yell at them like 'GO 3 GO!' and its funny cause they're mechanical. I liked that game cause it took a long time to lose your money if you were only better a quarter at a time. Everyone else got bored with it after a while, but I didn't. Plus it was getting me a plethora of free drinks ... all of which were Pina Coladas. I decided to see how many I could drink in one day, which may sound unhealthy, but they give you very, very, very weak ass drinks if you're playing cheap games, so I didn't even get drunk despite the 8 pinas I had. The moral of this story though, is that I put a quarter on horses 3 and 4 to win with 162 to 1 odds, and it fucking hit. I was so excited. Me and the guy next to me were high fiving and yelling. He bet 10 on it so he won nearly 400 dollars. I only bet 1 so I got around 40 dollars. But it was still exhilerating. I left after that and robbed the Excalibur.
Man, my fingers are getting tired. Almost done though, bear with me. After that we went to Casino Royale and I pissed away all of my winnings at the craps table. Turns out that I don't really like craps. I lost at it almost every time I played. Casino Royale was lame. We went back to our hotel and got ready to go out that night then. Me and Todd sat down at Wheel of Fortune before we left, and on my first pull I got a spin and won 200 quarters. Cha-ching. On Todd's third pull he got a spin and won 100 quarters. I then decided to play some more dollar slots and won 10 more dollars. Then we both played Monopoly on the nickle slots and I won 6 and Todd won 5 bucks. I was on a roll and so was Todd. We were feeling good as we left to go out that night.
First we stopped by Bellagio to see the water show. It was set to Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On." It was pretty impressive. After that we went downtown. That was a bad night for almost all of us. We went into Fitzgerald's to play some $5 blackjack. I threw down $60 to have it changed into $5 chips. Over the course, then, of 12 hands, I won once, and promptly lost that 5 bucks. So in effect, I really lost like 13 hands in a row, and I was so pissed. The dealer sucked too, she wasn't fun to talk to or lose to. It was probably the only time on the trip that I actually got upset about losing. I got up and took a walk around the casino. Everyone else got robbed by this bitch too. I swear she had so many blackjacks and stuff. It was absolutely ridiculous. Needless to say my winning streak was over. We went back to Aladdin and drank some more beers that I went ahead and just paid for.

Tuesday: The next day we had to wake up a little bit early to check out of our hotel rooms. By a little bit early I mean 11:00. We checked our bags and went to get some last minute gambling in at the Aladdin. I had 70 dollars left over and not much time so I decided to go balls to the wall on dollar slots. First thing I did was play some San Francisco game and win 50 bucks right off the bat. Then I hit Wheel of Fortune. I decided to put all of my dollar coins (80 dollars worth) into the machine and not cash out my credits. So if I lost, I lose, if I won, I won. I wasn't going to play anymore credits. Well, I put in 80 and I took out 80. Big deal, so I found a different Wheel of Fortune game that I was feeling good about. I hit the spin a few times and won 50 bucks, 30 bucks, 30 bucks, 20 bucks. In the end I was left with a bucket totaling around 150 dollars.
I didn't have much time left, but enough to still be gambling. And I could have left with 150 in my pocket, but I still would have been down and I hadn't hit it big yet. And it really takes some startup capital to hit it big, so I decided to go for it. I sat down at a few more dollar slots and slowly pissed away all of my winnings until I was left with nothing. And thats how you find me here today. Completely broke. Shit. Dirty Vegas. Oh well, it was a completely friggin blast.
We caught our plane then to LA, which didn't make much sense, but oh well. We got into LAX late and our flight to Austin was about to leave. So we had to literally sprint the entire length of LAX to get there on time. Needless to say it was a little bit painful for your arthritic, crippled author. We made it though and got to Austin around 10:something. Time zones really mess with me. We ended up in College Station around 2am and went to bed.

And that, my friends is the end of my Vegas Vacation story. Though you might not believe me, I didn't document every event on this blog, so if you still want to know more, just let me know, I'll talk your ear off. If you read this whole thing, consider yourself among the most loyal of Sidesho-Viewers. Thanks ... and gig this.

Home again, home again, jiggety jig. Hola mi amigos, tu es muy tente! I have returned unscathed from the weekend. My drives there and back were both uneventful, which is always a good thing when you're driving on the highway. When I got first got to my house in Plano on Friday night, I ate dinner with the parents. We had these fatass ribs that were so good. I brought some home with me and just ate them for dinner tonight. After dinner I played my dad at ping-pong, but I totally forgot my paddle at home so I was trying to use one that was WAY cushier than I was accustomed to and I lost. I didn't get romped or anything, I even won a couple games. But overall he still beat me, even though I'm still convinced it was because of the paddle and not anything due to my physical short-comings. Although it didn't take him long to figure out that my forehand is unstoppable and my backhand is non-existent. (Shh, don't tell anyone.) After that we went swimming to cool down, and then Paw was ready for bed, and I was ready to go out. So I met up with Colleen at the mall because they had extended hours for Tax-Free weekend. We were only there a little while before I declared that it was time to go to Friday's to get a drink. We did that and it was very tame, we got there just before last call and then went home.

The next day I woke up around noon and went shopping myself. I ran into Colleen at Willowbend, I was halfway meeting her there, and halfway just looking around. I didn't shop with her though. I tried to win a 1000 dollar shopping spree but that didn't happen, unfortunately. I coulda spent the shit out of it on some Diesel apparel. Then I went to Stonebriar cause I was still in the shopping mood, but couldn't find anything there either. It was fun to people watch though. I'm starting to feel old cause I was definitely not up to date on the current fashion trends half these kids at the mall were partaking in. And I'm sorry, but I still hate the front-tuck on shirts. I will never do that. Anyway, I wasn't there long and I went home. My parents went to go see Stomp so it was up to me to find dinner. But I had a project.

I've decided that my job is going to be playing guitar at daycares. There's good money to be had in that profession and I'm damn good at it. I can play, sing, interact with kids, and I have a shitload of experience. So I printed up a flier for myself. Maybe I'll post it up here once I get it all done. I did make a rough draft though and I took it over to MaryAnn's house to peruse it. She would know about that shit. She gave me some good advice on it and how to go about getting into the business. As an added bonus, she also fed me this badass meal of fried chicken, noodles, and brownies. It was "the bomb," as the children say. After that I met up with Steve at the ol' Starbucks and had a citrus smoothie type drink. It was really good. It tasted like a liquefied Dreamsicle. And we all know how much I love Dreamsicles. To cap off the evening I went down to Carabbas to hang out with Ryan Short. He's the head waiter there, and I had to wait around for forever for him to close out the registers or some shit like that. But I got to sit back in the office, so that was cool. Then we went to some guys house that he knows down in Dallas. It sucked though cause everyone there had gone to the lake earlier in the day and were already asleep by the time we showed up. So it was basically just me and Ryan playin pool and hangin out, which we really could have done at my house. Ryan's going to LA soon though to be a movie writer or something, so this may have been one of my last times to get to see him conveniently. I may go home one more time or he may come to College Station, its still very much up in the air. I'll fill you all in on that. Anyway, this should clue you into what happened this weekend. Anything else, or anyone else I talked to is insignificant. So ha! Adios, ninos.

Friday night was a right proper blast. It ended up that we decided to stay home and drink some beer. We had a pretty good turnout too considering we didn't really intend on having a party. Maddou came over early on in the evening to start sipping on a few brewskis. Later on then John showed up with one of his female friends. Jennifer drove in from Houston, also with a female friend. Doug and Nicole showed their faces once more and managed to convince a couple people to play drinking games (not me though, I always heed my own advice -- never play Doug's drinking games). There was some other guy there that I think came with Doug, I'm not sure. He had really cool tattoos. I'm sure was a little too interested in them, but I was drunk and they were really intricate. To top off the guestlist, Allison made a semi-surprise visit. We had such a blast. Me and Allison haven't gotten a chance to party together in forever. I don't think we stopped laughing hysterically the entire night. Everything was funny to us. Funny because it was true -- it was funny and true.

If you can imagine, I may have had just a little too much fun on Friday night, though I don't regret it one bit. So last night I took it pretty easy. We watched a bunch of TV and that was just about it. Maddou invited me out to Northgate but I honestly don't have any money. I have like 12 dollars in the bank right now but you need at least $20 to get it out of the ATM ... cause I ain't paying the service fee on the $5 ATM they have on Northgate. Anyway, it turned out to be a right bore, but I think I needed it. Oh yeah, this is off topic, but I talked to Stuart the other night. He finally called me back. You all remember Stuart from Moore Hall, right? He lives in Nashville, Tennessee now. Talk about fucking random. Whatever floats his boat though, I'm sure its better than Fort Worth.

Alright, I think today I'm gonna go to the rec and work out since I have such a fabulouso body now. My weight hovers right around 150 still, I haven't gained a damn pound in so long. The other day I was 152 a new high, and then yesterday I was back down to 149. I don't get it. I can't gain weight for the life of me. And that creatine was giving me heart palpitations so I quit taking it. Anyway, then I'm gonna lay out. So my day is full. You all be good ... and don't forget to tip your waitress.

I am back from Houston and my brother's 24th birthday. Boy did I have a good time. First we went to a restaurant called Floridito's. As many of you well know, I hate seafood and refuse to eat it. But Stephen wanted seafood for his birthday so I agreed to try it. I had something like a grilled banana leaf mahi-mahi. It was so good. It wasn't like any fish I've had before. It had a different taste and texture than I was used to and had all kinds of carribean stuff like mango on it. That was delish. His wife, Rachel, bought us each a drink called a Rum Runner. It was also very good, though very alcoholic.

From there we went to Dave n Busters. Rachel was funding the little operation and bought us each a Water Moccasin shot. I had one at Shadow Canyon the other night and it was a light, easy shot and a very tasty treat. Rachel wanted a shot that wouldn't be hard to take so we each had a birthday shot for Stephen. Then we told the bartender that it was his birthday so he bought Stephen a shot too. It was called a Tiger's Tail. I'm not sure what all was in it, I know there was some Jäger in there. He said it was good. A beer later a group of Stephen's friends showed up. It was a semi-surprise semi-party for him. When there were 6 people, Rachel once again stepped up to the plate and this time ordered 6 shots. These were called a 'Buzz.' They were huge shots, filled to the top. Everyone was joking we needed a straw for them. I took mine like I thought everyone else would but I ended up being the only one to shoot it, the rest took half and half or just drank it. I guess I'm still in that 21st birthday mode, but I thought it was a really good shot.

After that we spent the night in the arcade playing skee-ball, driving games, etc and always giving our tickets to this little black kid who never once said thanks. He just stared at us like we were crazy. He musta been about 4. It was funny. We did end up spending some of our own tickets. They weigh them and print you off a little voucher, so we tried to put our finger on the scale to up the count. Apparently the thing is pretty sensitive, cause when I really had 24 tickets, it printed out a voucher for 829. I got busted, but naturally argued with the guy acting offended that he would accuse me of such a thing. Stephen bought a couple big bouncy balls with the tickets. It was a fun night, I think we left around midnight. It was kind of weird though to be walking around with a beer fairly drunk while little kids are running around you playing video games and cashin in tickets. But it was a hella good time. Then we went home and went to bed. That was the extent. Tonight I think I'm gonna study for my government exam on Monday. I'm so studious. My roommates are both gone right now but their cars are here so I don't know whats up with that. I guess I'll give them a call in a minute. Peace out, sluts, have a good Saturday night.

YESTERDAY: Yesterday was a hella good time. I skipped class because I was exhausted from the Austin trip and just bummed around the duplex all day long. For dinner I met up with Allison and her mother, Delilah, at Wings N More. The whole Allison gang was there, her roommates, neighbors, and fratdaddy friends. It was so great to see Delilah, not only is she the coolest mom ever, but she's one of the (if not THE) most loyal Sidesho-Viewers. Gotta love that. After a wonderful dinner of chicken tenders, fries, and toast, all soaked into way too much ranch, I went back home to get ready to go to Karaoke Night at Shadow Canyon. We got there around 10 to take advantage of the $3 pitchers until 11. It was around 11 that Allison, in tote with Christine, Katie and the rest of the Dexter gang showed up to Hole in the Wall. For those of you not from College Station, Hole in the Wall is connected to Shadow Canyon. So Allison called me and I met them down there for a couple more pitchers of some Coors Light. We swear it was Coors Light and not Natty. Shadow was Shadow for the rest of the night, a few pitchers and couple chuggers later and we adjourned over at Doug's house (if you'll recall, Doug is the guy who taught us the vicious drinking game last weekend). At Doug's we played a game of 42. Me and Todd completely wiped the floor with Ryan and Doug, and I don't have a clue how to play really. So that was lucky. We finally came home and went to bed, but there was a good time had by all.

TODAY: Today I was forced to skip class again. Big shocker there. I'm going tomorrow (err, today technically) if I ever get to bed. Today I just bummed around again. I did start on the coolest pair of pants ever though. I am cutting up a pair of jeans and stitching them back together with thick ass twine. It looks so cool thus far. Hopefully it will continue in that trend.

TOMORROW: Tomorrow I'm going to class, and then coming home for lunch and stuff. Ryan's parents should be here around 3, and I've never met them so I'm going to wait around for that. Then I am departing for Houston because it is my brother, Stephen's, 24th birthday. I'm going to stay there over night and then come home on Saturday because I have a polisci test on Monday that I'm not too sure about. I did read 3 chapters today though and the test shouldn't be too terribly difficult if the guy gives like 40% A's on pickaprof. Alas, now it is time to hit the proverbial hay. I'll catch you have nots later (incidentally one of the gov. chapters I read tonight was on the concept of haves and have nots. Pretty cool huh?)

Greetings from the land of 21. First let me thank everyone who attempted to call me on my birthday. If you forgot, good news: I'll never know. My cell phone, apparently, was telling everyone that, "This VoiceStream customer is no longer in service." My feelings got progressively more hurt as the day went on because NO ONE had called me. So around 10:00 I decide to call my parents to find out what the dillyo, and they were like "DAVID! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WE'VE BEEN CALLING ALL DAY!" And then I called Ms. Allison and got about the same reaction, so that made me feel better. Like I said, if you didn't call, just say you did and make me feel special.

So what did I do this weekend. Well first, me and Todd drove to Kevin's apartment. We had to take two detours on our way there because of the severe flooding all around San Antonio. You should have seen the Guadalupe River. My god, the thing was beyond swollen, it was crazy. We eventually made it to Kevin's, and he worked until about 10 that night. And as soon as he got home and we all got ready we went out to a pool hall called Bradley's. There were a bunch of Kevin's friends there as well as Todd and my friend Will from College Station. We got there around 11:00 and the door girl said she couldn't count me and Kevin as over cause it wasn't midnight yet. So we got big black X's marked on our hands. At midnight, we went back to the door and some guy in charge told us it would be okay if we went to the bathroom and washed the X's off our hands and then served us a free beer. The drinks then ensued. I had a load of beers, and one shot, which naturally, was a Four Horsemen. Thats a damn stout shot. I can get sufficiently drunk off just that. We tried to play a little pool, but that proved difficult. Kevin could hardly hit the cue ball. And this is all by 2:00 cause that was closing time.

Then we went back to Kevin's pad and had a little party with everyone. I don't know exactly what happened, but I know I was drinking all night, and I somehow out lasted everyone at the apartment. I was so drunk but I was up and watching a movie and everyone else was asleep or had gone home. So I went to bed and got around 4 hours of sleep before I got up on Saturday. I was so damn hungover it wasn't even funny. And it was one of those wonderful 24 hour kind of hangovers. So I felt like shit all day long. Saturday night we went to Fox and Hound and had a couple beers, nothing too fancy. Everyone had already kicked off the party that night back at Kevins. When we got there, I had no choice but to take a nap. My head was pounding and all the lights and noise was too much. So I fell asleep for a couple hours and then rejoined the party. It was kinda fun cause they were t-rashed and I wasn't drunk. And as an added bonus, I wasn't hungover this morning when I had to drive home.

This morning we woke up and got ready to come back to College Station. We said our goodbyes and left San Antonio around 3 after we had a little lunch. We decided to take some new and improved way home, I'm not sure what possessed us. But we ended up in Austin, and I called Will and asked him how the hell to get back to CS from there. Thank god we finally got here, and just a shade over 4 hours later. Oy! But I am back, and thanks again to everyone who left a comment or tried to call. You're all beautiful. It was especially good to hear from Joseph, who has been AWOL all summer. He'd best be keeping in touch if he knows whats good for him. And that's the name of that tune. Peace out, you have nots, stay in school.

Happy 4th of July everybody! Ah, Independence Day. So far we've celebrated this wonderful holiday by nursing hangovers from last nights raucous game of Go Drink. I was just informed by my friend Will that the rec center is indeed open, when we thought it was closed. So I think me and Todd are gonna go pong and work out for a while. Then we're gonna grill some steaks for dinner and drink a few more beers, because thats the American way. Thanks to everyone who visited my July 4th themed webpage on July 4th. You're all beautiful.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day away from school and away from work. Light some fireworks for me, but make sure you do it outside. Have a good one.

God, what a hangover that was. I'm not sorry to see it go. I decided to sleep it off this time instead of dealing with it. I just woke up and its like 3:00pm. Gotta love the weekends. Last night we hosted a little get together at the Green Monster. Allison Delerie and her boyfriend Jamie came over as well as Todd and Ryan's friend David from Arlington. Later in the night my friend Allison came over after she got off work. And the final two guests were Erica and Zach. Erica is from Ryan's logic class and Zach was visiting her from Austin. It was a grand ol' time. All I know now is that I spent the morning in bed drinking water to alleviate a splitting headache and there must be about 100 bottles strewn about the apartment tonight. I ain't sorry though, like I said, it was a blast. I'm not sure whats on the menu for tonight, but I'll let you all know about it later. Peace out.

I gave my third speech today. I decided to do it over stem cell research ... it was a little more specific than cloning, and easier to research because of that. If you're at all interested in reading it (I'm kind of proud of it) you can do so here. I accidentally went thru it a little bit fast in class though and might have come in under time. I tried to stall the conclusion a little bit so I would be within time. If I didn't quite make it, thats an automatic 5 points off, aside from the 'probable inadequecies of a short speech.' Lets just hope for the best.

I decided then that since I gave a speech today it was okay for me to skip statistics. Oh my god, that class is so boring. You have absolutely no idea how dry and sleep enducing this man is. I didn't figure I would last another day, much less stay awake to reap the benefits of being present, so I just came home and took a fat nap.

Tomorrow I have some stat homework due and a few speeches to evaluate in my speech class, which sucks, I'd rather skip the whole day. And then tomorrow night I think Allison Delerie is gonna come over with her boyfriend and get sloppy. This is my last weekend as a minor, don't forget, so you know I'll be hittin it up minor style. Boo yah!

Ahh, Friday went well. My speech was alright, not great, but good. My test was pretty easy. I think I knew how to do all of them but 3 and there were 35 questions. Not too bad unless I'm so clueless that I actually didn't know how to do them and I just thought I did. Then I got a box of Franzia and sat down to enjoy the evening. Half a box of wine later, boy did I. I fell asleep after the first half of the World Cup game.

Today I didn't do anything and I loved it. I woke up, and got lunch with Ryan at Jin's, which is over on Northgate next to Burger Boy. If you haven't tried it, I highly recommend. Then I sat around all day. It was wonderfully unproductive. I also decided that I hate my webpage, so I'm planning on redoing it soon. I'll keep you updated on that endeavor. If you have any suggestions of what you'd like to see post me a comment.

Hello everyone. So good to see you again. As I type this, I am sitting in my parents' room on their computer. I made it home alive. I ended up leaving College Station around 1pm because me and Allison (that makes 6) stayed up late drinking wine and watching Sex and the City season 2. It was a fabulous time. I made one stop in Fairfield to grab something to eat at the Jack in the Box there. Traffic thru Dallas was fucking awful, but I finally made it. I think my mother is ordering in pizza ... so much for that homecooked meal.

I haven't decided what I want to do first whilst in Plano. My brother is coming in tonight with his wife. I could hang out and wait for them, but I think instead I'll call some peeps and see whats goin down in P-town. I'm sure I'll be ultra bored soon, but for now I need to unload my car. Adios, you have nots I will catch you on the flip side.

After claiming that I was all partied out, I found a second wind apparently last night. I went over to Ryan's apartment and Daniel and Joel came over too. Then Joel's roommates Clayton and Ward showed up. We were playing Go Drink all night. Go Drink is a helluva lot like Go Fish, but anytime anything happens you have to drink pretty much. But man was it ever fun. When you've just played too much 6-Cup, you ought to try Go Drink.

I created the coolest shirt ever to wear last night. Me and Keith went thrifting and I bought two Tshirts. Then I borrowed Allison's sewing machine. Cut the two shirts in half, and sewed their respective halves together. Thus creating the coolest shirt ever.

What else? Today I'm planning on taking the kitchen over to storage. But in order to do that I have to go over to Sam's to get some boxes for the dishes. But in order to do that I have to go take a shower and put on some clothes that don't reek. I think this blog may be rather scattered. Sorry about that. I'm just gonna go, I'll see you all later.

Hello loyal SideshoViewers! Sorry for the pause, let me try to bring you all up to speed. Long story short, the end of the semester is upon us and I know we're all busy trying to prepare for projects, presentations, and finals. So if you find the blog stagnant, please forgive me, I will post as much as I can.

The BenchFuck party was fun. There were a lot of old people there to share their old stories about their times in the dorm. Not too many freshman showed up, but enough to benefit from the wisdom were around periodically. We didn't end up having a keg at Schu's like I'd thought, and they all wanted to go to Northgate cause Sober was out there, but I'm not 21 yet (74 more days) so I opted to just go home. My friend Allison, not the one usually blogged about, brought over 30 Stones and we sat on the porch and drank them. It was quite fun.

Sunday I woke up and nursed myself back to health. Can't get sick right now! Then I went into open lab hours for about 4 hours. I'm really worried about this project, but mildly optimistic. Like there's a chance I will pass this class ... whoo hoo. Thats more than I can say for some of the poor saps in that class right now. Beyond this, I'm trying to make a website about Argentina. You can see what I've got so far by clicking here. My group is trying to reach more than one culture by making the site bilingual, which is really easy for me since I don't speak Spanish. But I'm doing pretty good with the online translators.

Right now I'm supposed to be doing a writeup on a CPU Control for our 6805 Microcontroller, but I just can't get motivated. I went into total shut down mode earlier today when I walked home from class. I am so sick of walking by the apartment pool and seeing people out there reading and tanning when I'm always so busy that I can't possibly sit out there. So something inside me just snapped and I said to myself, "I will get a book and sit by the pool, damnit." So thats just what I did, and just why I won't be going to bed early tonight. We'll see though.

Aside from that not much has happened. I registered for all my classes next semester and this summer. I'm hoping to be out of here in just under 2 years if that's possible. I'm really in no major rush since I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do when I graduate, but we'll see. For now I have to get back to that report. You kids be safe and try to have some fun. Peace out, you have nots!
End of Line.

My apologies for the blog haitus. Most of them extended toward Allison who, against her morals, went to my site TWICE and didn't find a new blog. Well, Allison, my name is Zoon and I live on the moon, and I'm here to give you a blog. And without further adieu...

Not much new. Sorry, rather anticlimactic, I know. I've been working a lot on school and usually just don't feel like sharing boring information with you all. Oh, I do have one story though.

On Wednesday, I went to campus for open lab hours (5-9) and afterward I didn't feel like riding the bus home. So I was gonna call Keith to pick me up but he was, unbeknownst to me despite constant reminders, at the Tenacious D concert in Houston. So I ended up sitting on the benches waiting for him to pick up for like an hour. I started bitching about being stranded so this girl that I'd just met turns to her friend, whom I'd just met, and says, "Wanna go with me to take Gilligan home?" To which another guy responds "Hey, you didn't ask me if I wanted to go!" Long story short, 3 semi-random complete strangers are getting up for the expressed purpose of taking my ass home.

But the story doesn't end there. When we get to the car, this girl hands me her keys and says "It'd probably be faster if you just drove." I said, "You don't even know me." She replied, "Well you know how to drive don't you?" So in the end, I drove myself home in a car that wasn't mine with 3 people I didn't know. When I got to my apartment I just hopped out, said thanks, and went inside. It was odd, but fun in a way. There aren't many opportunities to be spontaneous in circuit design, y'know what I mean. It was a nice vacation from the norm. Anyway, tonight I'm going to Allison's to drink the bubbly and I'll see you cats laaaaater.

Fuckin' A did I have a good time last night. Ryan and Todd convinced me to go clubbing with them, which, if you know me, you know I hate to do. I'm more of a stay at home and chill kind of person, so you'd be hard pressed to get my ass in a club. But Todd laid one of his guilt trips so I said I'd go, but promised that I would embarass him. So me and Keith set out to coming up with a character for me to be.

I started by shaving my week's worth of stubble into a respectable mustache. I liked the look it gave me, but it was decidedly white-trash. So next I worked on the hair. I ended up with it all greased back with way too much gel in it. I left a curl down in front though for that special 'fuckin a' touch. We experimented with a bunch of different outfits but were having a hard time getting something to perfectly match the hair. Keith, being the kind soul he is, donated his Harley Davidson tshirt to the cause. I promptly cut the sleeves off. We finished out with black sketchers and a pair of jeans with my big shiny belt buckle. Oh yeah, and a white wristband on my right arm.

Now this alone was pretty funny, but it wasn't until Keith went out to his car and brought me back a pair of aviator sunglasses that I really slipped into character. It was a priceless look, dead on white trash. And I went to Tonix like that, and it was awesome. A few shots later I was on the dance floor and didn't go to bed until the wee hours of the morn. I leave you today with these short words of wisdom, "Talk shit, get hit. Whoooweee"

What a crazy and fun Friday night. That's how they should all be. The evening began at Fazoli's with Keith to get some dinner. I had the lasagna with broccoli. It looked gross but tasted great. The breadstick girl gave me attitude because I made fun of her for flirting with Keith. I was chewing on a lemon and she came by to tell me that she used to eat lemons when she was little. So I said, "Yeah, well I used to be fat when I was little." No I'm kidding, but that's what the old immature me would have said. I didn't really retaliate except by making her throw my trash away.

After I was fetted and full, I went to Ryan and Todd's to commence the binge drinking session. We played 6-Cup, our favorite drinking game. Its a lot like Power Hour in that you don't ever have to really drink all that much at once, but after you've been playing a while, it hits you pretty hard. I was playing with Ryan, Todd, David, and Joseph. Sometime around 3am everyone started passing out, but me and Joseph were still wide awake. I got a call from Allison telling me she was at a killer party and that I should stop by. So I called Keith and had him drive me and Joseph over to Allisons.

When we got there, there was no alcohol except for some Skyy drinks that belonged to some girl. So we drank those, but we weren't supposed to so we had to disguise the fact that we were drinking these bright blue bottles. I put mine in a Keebler's Crackers box, and Joseph hid his in a neon yellow fanny pack. Soon after we got there, everyone started going home or passing out, which sucked. We could have passed out on the floor of Allison's duplex, but I really wanted my bed and Joseph was gonna sleep on my couch. There was only one way to make it home though ... and that was to walk.

For those of you who are familiar with College Station, we walked from Welsh & Southwest Pkwy to Texas & Holleman. Its pretty damn far and it was a little chilly. We ran into one guy who was sitting on his porch smoking a cigarette so we stopped and had a smoke with him. I don't remember if he was cool, but we'll just say he was. By then it was probably around 4am. We happened to be walking right by Leslie's apartment, and despite the fact I hardly ever talk to her anymore, I decided I would like to see her so I called her cell phone. She didn't answer but I left a message that said "Hey it's David. I'm just about to walk by your apartment and thought I'd stop by but you must be sleeping," And we continued on.

A couple minutes later, we're a ways down the sidewalk and I hear this faint "DAAAAAVIIIIID!" Turns out Leslie had just listened to my message, so I yelled back and ran back to her apartment. We stopped in there and chilled for a while though all we had to drink was water, since we were a bit parched from the walk. I saw this guy I went to school with from like K-8 grade and he didn't remember me which offended me. I mean, I probably haven't seen him in like 8 years, but still. I remember everyone from my elementary school. Well, around 4:30, I think, we left Leslies to finish off the walk home.

When we got back to my apartment, we made some Easy Mac and drank a bunch of water. Keith came home and was enjoying our drunken antics as Joseph tried to make some tuna concoction to eat. It was pretty funny. I think we went to bed around 5 or 5:30am.

To sum up the evening, it was exactly "how I do." Every Friday night should be as adventurous. I woke up around 2:30 today and went to Wal-Mart with Allison and Keith. I didn't buy anything, but we did stop by GNC and get some of those candles that you burn in your ears. Its odd, look 'em up, I'll let you know if they work. Oh, also, in Wal-Mart I kicked a ball into this toddler's face. It was hilarious. Tonight I'm gonna go to Allison's to eat lasagna and watch Life as a House, which is an EXCELLENT movie. So, I'll catch you kids later. Excelsior!

3 Day Weekend. Ah, the old American pasttime. Ain't nothing like it. Big shout outs to Jebus for bringin' us the Good Friday holiday. Tonight I'm just going to relax. And naturally, by "relax" I mean "get drunk." Tonight's festivities will commence around 7 witeh watching some Friends. Allison's getting some wine for us, since we're all wino's now. From there, I'm gonna go to Ryan and Todd's and play some 6-cup.

Tomorrow I'm planning on being productive since no one will be in town. Everyone I know is going to home to celebrate the resurrection and eternal life of their lord and savior Jebus Christ by finding chocolate eggs left in the night by an enormous bunny rabbit (circa Bill Hicks). That should give me some time to get caught up on school and just chill in the apartment by myself ... something I don't get to do nearly enough.

Anyway, if you are staying in town, be sure to give me a call cause I'll have lots of free time and no one to spend it with. On a footnote, thanks to everyone who has already written me in for senior yell leader. If you haven't already, be sure to go to http://vote.tamu.edu and write me in. Thanks and gig this.

Well, as was expected, last night was crazy. There was a massive amount of alcohol consumed. We started off gathering at Allison's duplex. Everyone that was going rode in two cars. It was Allison, me, Katie, Jeffrey, Christine, Ed, DVL, Pool, Virant and some chick named Coony.

We started off at Cheyney's party drinkin some beers. But it was still relatively early, like 8:00, so the party was not hopping, to put it mildly. So we decided to head to Northgate so Al could order herself some shots. We started at Fitzwillies, then went to Hole in the Wall. Allison headed to the Dry Bean Saloon before coming to Hole in the Wall. Then she took a little trip to the Crooked Path while we were there. Needless to say she had a whole lot of shots in a minimal amount of time.

So we decide that we need more to drink. But I hate drinking at bars, although I managed to surpress that and polish off a good third of a pitcher at Hole in the Wall. So we all go back to Cheyney's and hang out for a good while. By then the party was rocking. There are lots of funny stories, but not really any that I feel like posting on this webpage. If you wanna know them you can IM me.

The night ended ... well, wait, I don't really remember that. I know that we all accomplished our goals of getting real real drunk. And I had a most excellent time. Can't wait to do it again next year (or weekend).

ATTENTION: Today is Allison's birthday. I've probably shut down the entire site in reverence of the occasion, but just in case I didn't get around to it, be sure to tell her happy birthday. She's 21 and will be buying me lots and lots of drinks tonight. WHOO HOO.