The other night when Allison was spending the night I had a dream that was upsetting enough that I decided to come get on my computer and type out what had happened. In case you don't know, I've diagnosed myself with both insomnia and sleep apnea, so when I finally get tired enough to fall asleep, I never really hit REM, which makes for a plethora of fucked up dreams. This is what I typed out at 4am when I woke up:

i was walking along the street when there was this bright light that i fell into
i woke up and i was a soldier on the battle field
when the commanding officer asked me who i was i said 'david fisher' but since i had no ID i was arrested for lying
i was in jail and i was asking all kinds of questions about where i was and what was going on
thommi was in jail
i finally discerned that i had fallen into a wormhole and woken up 17 years later at the age of 40
i called matt pakes from jail and asked 'are you 40' and he was like 'wow haven't heard from you in forever, yeah im 40'
so now i'm freaked out
start the fragmented nonsequitor portion
edward spencer was a doctor
my apartment was no longer mine
i got onto my old screen name though
i was excited that i had 17 years worth of movies to watch
i looked in the mirror and saw my face at the age of 40
i asked a lot of questions about everything that had gone on
they were upping the quota of stem cells that were produced
drugs had been completely irradicated
i started to think maybe this wasn't so bad, i had skipped some boring ass parts of life
i talked to keith at work, he used the same phrase he used to use 17 years earlier about wanting me to come work again and he hated working with idiots
he got me my job back at TAC
my cell phone still worked
my parents called and left a voicemail
i realized they'd been calling me every year on the day of my disappearance
my mother kept repeating 'i told myself i wouldn't do this, i told myself it wouldn't be this hard'
she was crying
i called our old house number hoping it would be the same
she answered
i couldn't speak, the enormity hit me
there was no passage of time for me but her son had gone missing for 17 years
my mouth went dry
'its david'
she angrily, hopefully, emotionally replied 'what?'
'its david' i said again as my voice cracked in tears
'oh my god'
'mother its me david!' ... i woke up speaking these words aloud and crying

So as of yesterday I have become officially homeless. Allison was kind enough to allow me to deposit the remainder of my earthly possessions in the middle of her living room and I've been driving around town with a car full of pots, pans, and a life-sized cut out of the late, great Albert Einstein. G*d, he was a great American.

But the past couple of nights I have spent the night at Marshall's pad. I know he doesn't mind, I just hope I'm not a burden on his roommates... though I doubt Owen would agree with me that I owe it to my friends to be mindful of their roommates. At any rate, when I woke up this afternoon Marshall and Co. were all at work at the Hobby Lobby so I washed their dirty dishes. That's my rent.

The only problem with being homeless is that my two host families, Allison and Marshall, are the only two people in this century who live in homes not equipped with internet. I figured I could just plug in my laptop while they were out for the day and go about my merry way, but as it were, I have been offline for like 2 days. I couldn't take it anymore. After I woke up, I went to see about having my hair highlighted (but you know Hannah is in such high demand that I can't get in until June 1st. What?) and then came right to the SCC, the computer lab on campus. My parking pass and my lab account are both still active until June 1st so I figured I should use them. I'm not even talking to anybody right now. Well, nobody but you, dear Sidesho-Viewers, but I am still instantly calmed just having the potential for somebody to contact me. And that's what this whole thing is really about ... potential.

So I had a dream last night that they had to take my diploma away from me for some minor technicality. And I got really pissed, as you would expect, and I torched Thompson. Well, I guess torched is putting it mildly. I mean I put explosive charges all over and doused the whole building in fluids, and all these people were begging me to stop, and I didn't. And I burned it to the ground. That ... dream ... was ... AWESOME!

Not sure what's on the schedule as of yet. Right now the only thing for sure is that I start work June 7th. Until then, who fucking knows. Maybe Allison and I will nail something down this afternoon. If so I'll let you know as soon as I get another chance to be online. Hmm, it appears to be Beer:30, gotta run!

OUCH, my head hurts. It's 3:30 in the am ... I woke up a couple hours ago completely disoriented and confused as to what time it was, where I was, etc. Owen was watching TV and I was sleeping on the couch and the shows he was watching kept ending up in my dreams. It took me a few minutes to realize I wasn't the general of an army throwing people from a moving vehicle. God, why do I always have such murderous dreams.

Anyway, the reason my sleep schedule is so fucked up is because I pulled an all-nighter last night to finish a project. I did a piss poor job. I'm concerned I won't pass this class. Hopefully there will be a large curve. But I was already so tired to begin with, I couldn't believe I made it through the night and into the next afternoon. It was not without the help of coffee and cigarettes. I finally got to bed around 1pm and woke up at like 6. I thought perhaps I could stay up and be normal but after Owen and I ate at Fitz's, I crashed again, hardcore. This is not good because I have an assload to do by Thursday, but once again my stupid body is requiring food and sleep. It is so annoying like that.

The schedule for the next two weeks or so: Thursday, user manuals, installation guides, trouble shooting guides etc are due as well as the technical presentation and demonstration of our greenhouse project we've been working on for the past year. Probably the biggest hurdle. Friday-Saturday, feverishly finishing final documentation for that project, studying for a final in the class that I'm concerned about passing. Monday, take that final. Monday through Wednesday, work on a program that will test parameters of an Analog to Digital Converter that Owen and I haven't started yet. That is due Wednesday at noon along with our take home final. Wednesday night -- drink lots and lots, pray that grades go through. Friday at 9am, my graduation. After that, I will move all my stuff out of my apartment back home to Dallas. May 20th my lease is up and somewhere in there, I am going to California with Allison. Very hectic. Cannot wait to be done.

So if I don't update, please don't hate me. And for those of you moving back home for the summer and stuff, don't forget to bookmark SideshoViD.com and keep in contact with me. Where ever I go and whatever I do SVC will remain a constant way to see what I've been up to. I love you all, in spite of the fact that you are all a bunch of have-nots.

I had the most fucked up dream last night. This one really took the cake. It was so long and weird that when I finally woke up, I jumped right out of bed despite the fact I'd only been asleep for a minimal number of hours. It started off with me and my entire family together in a car, and my dad making a wrong turn on a high overpass. Unfortunately, the way we went had no road and we plummeted like a 1,000 feet to our gruesome deaths. I remember thinking on the way down, as my stomach dropped, "Well, this is it," and experience a moment of extreme curiosity for what would happen after I died.

We were all instantly transported to what I guess would be the afterlife. The sky alternated red and blue, there were heavy clouds and lots of lightening. At first it was scary but then I realized it was actually quite beautiful. There were all kinds of people all living in their own little quarters, and I was sharing a house with my family. We met all kinds of people who taught us things about what it was like to be dead. One of them was how to return to Earth, which basically involved sky diving with no parachute. Once I got the balls to do it I went and checked in on all of my friends.

They had created some kind of twisted memorial to me that everyone I'd ever known had signed with a message for me. And I cried while I read them. I tried to return every now and again to check in on people, but time stopped moving linearly, and when it did it was inconsistent. Sometimes it would be the past, sometimes the distant future, and sometimes no time had passed at all. I rather liked the afterlife. There was always something to do, people to meet, things to learn. This is the first time in a dream that I've actually died, and I must say it wasn't too bad.

But I did wake up a tad disturbed. I ran over this dream again and again in my head to preserve some of the details. I have got to stop smoking crack. In other news, yesterday I went to Wal-Mart with Marshall and purchased a planter, some soil, and wildflower seeds. As of right now it is just a bucket of dirt, but I will keep you all filled in on their progress. I put in a shitload of seeds, I hope it grows like crazy.

My new goal is to buy a fish. I wanted to buy one spur of the moment last night but realized that I knew nothing about how to care for one. I will have to do my research, buy some equipment and get it set up before I buy Nemo. Again, you will all be the first to know when I do so. Hope your week is off to a good start. Be safe, and don't do anybody I wouldn't do.

Well I hope everyone had a wonderful Solstice. I know I did. Now that my holiday season has come to a close, I would like to wish everyone celebrating Kwanzaa this year a wonderful time, as well as all my Jews in da house hittin up Channukah. I can't think of any other celebrations during the holidays, so if I forgot one, it must not count!

I am laying in bed right now. I woke up kinda early in comparison to recent days because I kept having horrible dreams. I had one that I don't remember, but I know I woke myself up by screaming. Then I had one where the Texas A&M Diving team was recruiting me, but they were gonna make me do a fancy dive off the top platform, and for some reason I agreed. Then I had one that I was lost in a school and every room I went into was more fucked up then the next. So I figured fuck it, I'll just stay awake.

As soon as I get off my ass, I am going to get in the car and drive back to Plano. I'll be there for a few days, and then back in CS for a couple days, and then its off to Galveston to get on the boat. Weeee.

I have some wonderful news for all of you. I am so excited I can barely sit still. I was watching the Food Network last night and there was a promo for a new show called Dweezil & Lisa. As if I had to clarify which Dweezil & Lisa they were referring to, its Dweezil Zappa and Lisa Loeb. They've been dating for some time now, and now they're going to host their own show on FoodTV! Holy crap! In case some of you don't know, I have been Lisa Loeb's biggest fan since like the 7th grade. There hasn't been this big of a merger of my interests since I found out John Denver played with the Muppets. It starts in January and you better believe I'll be watching every episode. Its a Solstice miracle. I love you all and I see you soon!

Tonight I was going into my backpack to get out some homework assignments due tomorrow when I came across my Yoga textbook. I realized that I've barely cracked the thing since I (and by "I" I mean "my dad") bought it those weeks ago. I felt like I was at a point that I could do some independent yoga, so I popped it open to see what was in store. You're supposed to start with basic spinal twists and stretches ... which is major boring shit. So I skipped right to the head stand. After a few painfully unsuccessful attempts, I decided to start with their starting positions and read the instructions, rather than just jumping on my head. I'm proud to say I successfully held the headstand for a few seconds. As Owen as my witness, I did it. I wasn't too successful at the Crow, even though I did get into it, just not as cleanly as I would have liked. And the Peacock was NOT going to happen anytime soon. I also came dangerously close, with the help of Owen pushing on my back with his foot, to touching my nose to my knee. Allison made a bet with me, I do hope she's remembering, that the first person to touch their nose to their knee gets an entire night of free drinks at Northgate. And I am actively persuing that goal.

Why do I keep having dreams that I've killed people? They're never violent dreams, they generally only deal with the guilt and paranoia of having just killed someone. Why can't I have wet dreams like a normal person...

It finally happened, and just shy of two weeks into the semester. I skipped my first class. We all knew this was going to happen sooner or later, but I'd always assumed it would be on a Friday morning. 8:00's are beat up, as Brandon would put it.

I needed a drink last night so I went out to Northgate with my good buddy Keiff. We used to work at Jiffy Lube together. So I had a couple scotches on the rockses and he had a couple gins and tonics. Miss Allison showed up with her new grad student friends. Me and Keith did not withhold our opinions of these gentlemen but we did politely wait until we were alone to express them. Then we went home around midnight. And believe it or not, Keith was a bad influence on me. He's got me drinking during the week, and then coerced me to smoke a cigarette when we got back to his place. So we're back to hour 9 of being smoke free. Nobody said this would be easy.

So anyway, delightfully liquored up and nerves finally calmed, I came home, chatted for a while, and then feel into a deep sleep I've not felt in days. When the alarm went off at 7am, I just so happened to be enjoying the most wonderful dream imaginable, the details of which I will leave to your imaginations, and I plum decided to turn the fucking alarm off and finish out the dream. It ended with me waking up in a complete stranger's house with an iguana running loose and me deciding to just take a shower and then crawl out the window. So it ended a little strange, but whatever. I needed that. So now I'm off to tackle the day. So long, suckers.