Any of you that have been to my residence in the past seven or so years have probably had the good fortune of witnessing the most beautiful coffee table ever created. It started out as a normal coffee table donated to my dorm room by a friend of my mother. One freshman year later and the facade was horribly damaged and the finish nearly entirely removed by spilt Everclear. I knew something had to be done, so I enlisted the help of my very artistic and talented friend, JennyCole, and soon ended up with this...

It's beautiful. It's creative. I love it. HOWever, it does not exactly fit in with the color palatte of my apartment. I had considered the whole space/ocean/mountain/sky theme for my living room, but instead went with tan and red. Considering Ryan Short and I are someday going to open up Tan & Red Designs together, it was a no-brainer. Anyway, the table holds a lot of sentimental value to me because Jenny and I did it together so long ago, so I knew I couldn't get rid of it. I thought maybe I could cut the legs off and use it as a wall hanging, but again, not really in keeping with my concept of "vintage Parisian." What to do? What to do indeed.

I've been using the table in my bedroom ever since the redesign. It sits directly behind the head of my bed and serves to hold my many extra pillows. You never know when you need to switch in the middle of the night to a softer or firmer or more Tempur-pedic pillow. It's a pillow table. A pillow-table? Solution! I present to each of you, the new and improved pillow-top coffee table. I used three blocks of foam to create each section and then covered the whole thing in faux leather vinyl stuff. After I stapled it down, I put a row of brass tacks between each cushion and then a border of brass tacks around the edge. I didn't think it would turn out showcase quality, but I was pleasantly surprised at how well I did. It isn't perfect, but it's perfect for me. I think it looks so cool. So fashion forward. (Sorry, I just got done watching Project Runway.) It was a fun little project, and one that I have a bruised thumb and several bleeding cuts to show for. You know me, my art hurts me so. I had to offer it up for your approval. As always, I'll entertain your comments as long as your comments entertain me.

My trip to Washington, D.C. and New York City is fast approaching. If you'd like to hang out be sure to let me know. I've already gotten word from JonSteed and Mr. Kenderdine. Hopefully, I'll be able to hook up with Topher in NYC. As an added bonus, the Monday after I get home from vacation, I will be jetting off to Seattle! You believe that? So if anybody is in the northwest, also let me know. Mr. Ryan Cloutier has already expressed an interest, but I should have puh-lenty of time up there, so I'd love some company. g*d, I'm such a jetsetter. I think it's bed time. Czech you sluts later!

I certainly couldn't go a week without blogging. I haven't done that in ages. Time's a little tight right now because it's midnight and I'm gonna be a wreck at work tomorrow. Big news! I worked 8 hours today. Like actually produced real programming that will be used in a real project for 8 hours. And I'm gonna do it again tomorrow. Things are looking up. So the job, while I still go on the public records as hating it, is looking up. My hair gets longer every day, it's quite shaggy. And I've decided to stop shaving yet again. If I ever hit puberty and the facial hair fills in, I'll let you all see it. My workout routine is going well. I am starting to regain my flexibility, and it feels so good to work out after work. I just need to find some goggles so I can start swimming again.

Went to College Station this weekend. It was pretty fun. Ryan Hudler drove and we went and watched Daniel dunk his ring (120 seconds). We "stayed" at Todd's even though I neglected to sleep there either night. We went to Margarita Rocks with Allison, Lindsay, her underage sisters, AllieD, Jennifer, and another pretty girl whose name escapes me. Then we went to a little keg get-together out in the country and Tommy showed up. I shocked Fucking Frank with my lighter. Everyone finally realized why I think it's so funny. From there we hit Northgate. Ran into Roper Joe, that was a blast from the past. Saw Brian and Justin. Owen walked over from campus and Keith was a horrible influence on me. Owen and I got split from the group and decided to take CARPOOL home but it was taking too fucking long so I woke up Marshall and made him take Owen home and then slept in his bed. I'm trying to drop every name possible. If I forgot you, leave a sassy comment and I'll insert you into the list and pretend like you were always there. It will be hilarious.

The next day I was hungover like the entire day. It sucked, but was pretty expected. Lunch with AllieD, back to sleep on Todd's couch the rest of the day. I woke up at 1:30am and had Dustin come pick me up and drank over at his place with Raul. Spent the night on the ground accidentally. Came home the next day. I breezed over a lot of details, obviously, but I had a really great time. Thanks for driving, Ryan!

Whenever I meet someone new, or get someone's screen name for the first time, I always ammend it with a buddy comment. I'm not sure if anyone else uses these but they're a g*dsend to me. I put people's names, jobs, home towns, physical descriptions ... anything I might want to know, or pretend I've remembered later. You should all be using them. Anyway, sometimes the descriptions of someone I've met for the first time, and later become close friends with, are a tad outdated. They tend to be on the insulting side from time to time, so I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by posting names, but one of them that I just edited the other day said, "that impudent little imp." If you want to know if you have a buddy comment, hit me up with an IM.

And in final news, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO TOPHER (known affectionately by some as Yale Boy). I meant to call him at midnight, but then I realized that I don't understand time zones, so I'd better just call him when he gets out of class tomorrow. But this is my proof that I've been thinking about him and did not forget. (And no, I didn't use a buddy comment to remember.) I love you, kid, have a wonderful birthday, a kick@ss summer, and stay cool.

This weekend I made yet another trip to beautiful College Station, Texas. There were good and bad things about my little vacation. Instead of dividing them into two categories I thought I would alternate between one good thing and then one bad thing to keep things all evened out. Starting with the good, naturally.

I got to leave work at 2:30 on Thursday because I had finished everything for the week, which means I got to take a Friday off for free! When I got to College Station, Marshall didn't want to go out and refused to even attempt to have fun. But AllieD was rarin' to go so we got all sloshed and had a rip roaring good time. The next morning I was completely hungover. So Allison and I went to see Napoleon Dynamite and it was really funny. That night I was ready to go crazy at the bar but got completely stood up by Marshall. Allison came to the rescue after I stopped by a party of hers and took her out to Halo. It was completely dead there. 27 showed up. I rounded out the evening back at the party fairly bored and not drunk enough. The next day I got see meet up and go out to lunch with Tommy. I was supposed to go see his new loft downtown when he got off work at 5, but despite knowing that he was home he refused to answer the phone and let me up and I haven't talked to him since. But he lives next door to a bar, so I spent that time drinking beer and talking to the hippies at Revolutions. I wanted to make a shirt like the one that Napoleon wore in the movie, but I ultimately couldn't find the right supplies. So I went back to Marshall's and took a nap. He never called me after he got off work, despite the fact that I put gas in his car that had been sitting empty on the side of the road for a couple of days. I had plans of my own, though, since Brian (Allison's fab friend) and his roommate James were having a party. I was still pretty hungover from my previous days' binging so I really couldn't drink a lot. And the highlight of the weekend, Chris came to the party.

End the pattern. Did everyone notice it alternated good and bad? (I color coded it after the fact.) I didn't even have to try, because the good and bad was chronological it turns out. But yeah, seeing Chris was really good. I miss that kid so much. It's a lot easier to forget that when I haven't seen him in 6 months, but seeing him again brings that all back. It was a good time though. Maybe I'll see him again in 7 years when he graduates from grad school. Raul and Rob accompanied us to the party. That's always a good time. Brian and James have the coolest friends. It was an excellent party. Other highlights included seeing Justin McK and Charlie at Halo, 27s friend being delightfully nice, and Texas Toothpicks. Other lowlights included not seeing Stino, 27s other friend being dreadfully rude, and Marshall leaving for "lunch" while I was still in bed on Sunday and then never ever coming home. I don't think I'll be going back to College Station for a while ... not without reason.

Tonight I went swimming. It felt so good. I realized I haven't been out of breath or felt my muscles burn in months! I felt just like Michael Phelps. Oh great, now everyone googling for pics of the speedo-clad Phelps are going to end up here. It probably won't help that I'm about to say gold medal Athens 2004 Olympics. (After typing this, I've decided to make tricking googlers into coming to my site a permanent feature on my site.)

Last business to discuss. September 3rd: ULDE:IYDKYDG. Ryan Short, Brent Wager, and I are throwing a party to celebrate a day of Labor Pains. That stands for Uptown Labor Day Extravaganza: If You Don't Know, You Don't Go. If you would like to come, leave a comment, and IM or an email giving me your email address and I'll make sure you get on the e-vite list. And with all the e-vite list theft going on around town, you'll probably be invited to several subsequent Dallas parties as well. I'm expecting some College Station folk to attend. Also, October 2nd: Stephen Lynch and Mitch Hedberg, the two funniest men alive, performing together at the Paramount in Austin. I'm buying tickets this Saturday so if you would like to go, let me know. Tickets are $35.

I hope you all have an alternatingly good and bad time this week. And remember ... if you don't know .. you don't go!

There is nothing like Neil Diamond to make rush hour traffic an absolute joy. I am in the best mood now. I was jammin out on the way home from work to my new two disc set. I bought it because I was wearing my Neil Diamond concert T this weekend and got many comments on it, which made me start thinking about how I wanted to hear his music. One guy, as we were walking into Jason's apartment complex, accused me of not even knowing who Neil Diamond was, so I launched into a few drunken verses of Forever In Blue Jeans, Kentucky Woman, and Love on the Rocks, to name a few. Sure showed him. HA!

I bought the CD at the Borders in the West Village. Silly me, I never even knew the West Village existed, and Ryan Short lives so close to there, and I used to work like right there. They have some of the best stores I've seen since I left Miami. I wanted to buy a whole bunch of stuff, but decided to save a little bit of money instead of blowing it all on clubbing clothes. I did buy one shirt for 40 bucks, though, because it's totally hot and it was half off. Half off, but I got a whole shirt. It's awesome. I can't wait to sport it this weekend when I'm in College Station, make all you bitches jealous.

Yes, that's right, this is probably your final reminder. I'll be pullin' into CS on Thursday night, depending on what time I can feasibly slip out of work on Thursday. Since I'm skipping Friday, it might not be such a hot idea to leave at noon again like I did last time. I can't wait to see everyone, but there are some things on my agenda. I have to hang out with Christopher before he trucks back off to Yale. I'll be spending as much time with him as I can. I have to go out with AllieD before she trucks off to Austin for the weekend. We have much to discuss ... and by 'discuss' I mean 'drink.' I have a party to go to with Brian and James, Allison's new crew. That's on Saturday night. Anyone and everyone can go with me if you'd like, I put myself down for 20 guests. I also need to see Tommy's new apartment ... now that I know he hasn't been ignoring me for the past few weeks. He hasn't even had internet, so someone else is on all of his accounts. If it's a Sidesho-Viewer, what you're doing isn't very nice and I think you should stop. It made me think Tommy hated me, as preposterous as that sounds.

I went apartment shopping this weekend with Ryan Short. I really want to live in Addison Circle, but they were at like a 98% lease rate when I went. That means that there are no good apartments left, and the ones that are left, they have absolutely no incentive to cut me any specials on. I was pretty gung ho about moving out but now my spirit has been crushed. I gave the lady my email address and told her to give me a heads up on any upcoming vacancies. I know I could go live somewhere else, but you know me. Once I decide I want something, I just can't settle for something else. Instant gratification, people, it's what makes the world go 'round. Rest assured, though, loyal viewers, I am fully intending to move out of my parents' house, perhaps in the near future, as my rent budget may swell.

Work goes on. Life goes on. Beers go down. Not much else to say. I love you all, and look forward to seeing everyone in CS this weekend. MWAH!

Today was a productive day. I probably haven't mentioned my co-worker, Trey, in my blog as much as I have in real life. Trey is awesome. He's an old rednek with no formal education who is a jack of all trades. He's helping to train me at work. He talks ... really ... ... ... slow. It's awesome. He also happens to have pi memorized to 1250 digits. Today I made an Excel spreadsheet that would check him 10 digits at a time, and I sat and watched him successfully enter 500 digits in a row before I finally decided that I really wanted to go home. I told him I would memorize it out farther than him ... I'm up to 32 digits now. Don't believe me? 3.14159265358979323846264338327950, bitches. If you would like to race me on memorizing it, download my pi Excel sheet here.

This weekend was too much fun. Friday, I went on my lunch break at work ... and then decided that I really didn't want to go back. So at 1:00, I hit the road for College Station. Technically when my boss said, "Leave whenever you need to," I think he meant anywhere from 4:00 to 4:30. But you just can't say something like that to me and not expect me to take full advantage of it. I got into College Station around 4:00 and went straight to Hobby Lobby to visit Marshall while he worked. After a little bit of that I met up with Allison, her friend Brian (who is fab squared), and JonSteed for some evening cocktails. I picked up the tab because I have money and I spend it recklessly.

Halo on a Friday night, man I miss that. They were having some wicked drink specials, so after the nine of us drinking on my tab finished up, the total was only $50. Allison brought her friend Brian from earlier in the evening, and he in turn brought his friend James, who tried to open a tab behind my back, but I got it transfered to me. JonSteed came against his wishes because I promised him free drinks. Marshall and I got buck wild. Raul made a grand appearance, and Justin made his presence known. We definitely got our 50 bucks worth, drinking and dancing the night away. But you know me, my faithful Sidesho-Viewers. That's just not reckless enough for me. So I drunkenly vowed that on Saturday night, I would have a $200 bar tab. Everyone thought I was kidding ....

The next night when we went out, Marshall jokingly referred to my 200 dollar proclamation, to which I replied, "Let's do it." More drinking, more fun. Despite our best efforts, the total came to $85. In my defense, James was bartending, and being the good friend he is, he told me that he had "hooked me up BIG TIME." So jebus knows how much we actually managed to spend. It was way too much fun though. After the bar, Dick was having some people over to go swimming at his apartment. Raul and I swung by Marshalls for the half bottle of raspberry vodka I had purchased the day before and managed to drink that while wading in our underwear until 4am. It was crazy, crazy drunken fun. The kind of fun business professional people do not have. I can't wait to do it again soon.

Speaking of segues, I think I will do it again soon. I got a call from Chris, the boy who goes to Yale, for those of you who are bad with names. He was in Plano last night and he got to come by my house and then I gave him the full Plano experience by going to chit chat outside Starbucks with overpriced coffee and chain smoking. He is in CS through August and I will most certainly come back sooner than planned to visit him again before he whisks away back to the east coast. It was really good to get to see him and have a chance to sit down and talk about everything that's gone on in about the last seven months. Another reason I need to get back to CS in the near future is that I really need a haircut. I'm not backing out on my decision to never cut my hair again, but my last hair cut by the fat bitch at Toni & Guy was so bad that it's just not growing out right. So I'm going to get Hannah to fix it for the long haul.

The final piece of news is that I got to swing by Humble on Saturday from about 1:00 to 7:00. I went to see my 2 week old niece, Kaylyn. That was too much fun. She was sooo small and so cute. I got her some socks, a blanket and some shoes. I told you all how much I love shoes on babies, right? G*d, that cracks me up. They are too big for her at the moment, but I can't wait until she grows into them. She was so funny. She doesn't really have control of her arms or legs yet. She kind of flails around without rhyme or reason any time she gets upset. So when she yawns and her pacifier (otherwise known by its brand name, Soothie) falls out of her mouth, it is a challenge to get it back in her mouth before the screaming starts. Every time you get close, she knocks you out of the way. So my brother does this thing where he grabs her tiny hands and kind of holds them to her chest and says, "Let's get organized!" It was way too funny. Visiting Kaylyn will definitely have to be a priority in the months and years to come. I was thinking about going out of town for my 3 day weekend over Labor Day, but Stephen, Rachel and Kaylyn are coming to Dallas to visit, so I'm modoubly staying for that. Plus, I think Ryan Short is having a party, so all you College Station boys should come up for that. Start making plans.

This blog is ridiculously long, but I had a lot to say, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. My call to action is for each of you to post your thoughts and experiences with pi, big bar tabs, and tiny babies. Until then, peace, my friends. And good night.

As it turns out, I really don't know how to tan. In fact, I was going to attempt to photograph my ineptitude, but the problem seems to have faded, so I'll illustrate for you again. I got a membership at Total Tan for 25 bucks for a month. So far I've only been twice, but I've fucked it up twice now. Every time I get out of the bed, my body is a splotchy, nasty red, white and tan neopolitan mess. That's not sexy. Maybe one of these days I'll figure it out.

This morning I had a missed call at 8:10am from a private number. Only two people I know use private numbers. One of them is my old boss, but he knows better than anyone that this guy wouldn't be awake at 8:10am since thats when I was supposed to be at work every day and I'd roll in around noon usually. The other is our dear Yalie friend, Chris, whom I normally wouldn't suspect, but he is supposed to be coming home today for a few days. Again though, why would he call so early and not leave a message? More than likely what we have on our hands here is some sort of telemarketer riling up my imagination.

Got a lot to do this week. Have a couple projects due on friday. Spent 10 and a half hours in one chair yesterday working on a program. Normally I wouldn't have spent so long working on it but it was just one of those days where everything was just going right. I was really making great progress and didn't want to stop and come back on a day when everything would just be going wrong, because those certainly are easier to come by. I went and had a beer with Bo over at Fitzwilly's around 11:00. That was so delicious esp. since I hadn't eaten all day. I'm fasting this week. Anyway, I suppose I should go wash off this brown sugar and get headed to campus.

One last foot note. David27 found a zippo lighter in my couch cushions that says "TAMU OUTLAW '03 CORPS OF CADETS" on its sides. It's not that I desperately want to return this to its rightful owner, I'm just dying to know who the closet corps boy is, because if I'm gonna have a corps boy in my house I need to at least know who he is ahead of time. So if it's yours, fess up, soldier. Laaaaaaaaaate.

I'm watching this interview with Michael Jackson. It's pretty unreal. I don't know, though. I kinda feel bad for the guy because he's obviously out of touch with reality, and you can't really blame him for being insane. Although, as I'm watching how people react to his presence everywhere he goes around the entire world, I can't help but think that he might be jesus. I mean, how many people do you know that can reduce a person to tears just by being 50 feet away? I'm sure most of you won't agree with me, especially based on the recent events. Just don't forget: jesus loved the little children.

I didn't really do anything today. I was out last night drinkin' some beers with Leslie, Josh, Rick and Steve when I got a call from Raul saying that Chris was over at Terysa's (how is that for some name dropping). So I went to chill with Chris since he left town this morning and won't be back until the Christmas break. That was a good time. When I got home, my stomach was kind of queasy, so I took a phenergin. That was a bad idea, since you're not supposed to mix it with alcohol, really. But that's just a suggestion. So, I ended up catching roughly 15 hours of sleep while missing class and work today. Whoopsadaisy. I spent the evening cooking some meat 'n cheese for me and Ryan and then preparing the mac 'n cheese for Thanksgiving at AllieD's tomorrow. Not sure what else I'm gonna do tonight. Thomas might come over and watch a DVD. I should buy a boat.

So last night Thomas and I decided it would be a good idea to get drunk. I love when your plans for the evening involve nothing beyond "get drunk." It just opens up a world of opporitunity. Of course, we didn't really explore any of those options, and opted for an old favorite: sitting at Ryan and Todd's playing drinking games. Can't go wrong there.

We played several rounds of Suits to which Thomas skoffed and informed us he was "no cheap date." So Ryan fixed him up with a shot and we continued playing. Ol' Tommy had to excuse himself from the party a little early, but I suppose that was a good thing in the end since he had to be at work at 8am.

I know that I've been a little under the weather lately, but I stayed home on a Thursday so I was starting to get the shakes. Sometimes drinking while you're sick makes you sicker (see the last two weekends) but then once you pass that threshold, you can actually wash away the remaining sick cells with a good ol' toxic poisoning of beer. Mission accomplished. I feel great today. I'm about to go to Wal-Mart with Karen just for a reason to leave the house. It's been another couch-a-rific day. And in future news, Chris is coming home on Monday for Thanksgiving. We had a drunken conversation last night, that I really don't remember. But I do remember that one point. Alright, you have-nots... peace out.

Let me add one more rule to my list of Aggie Ettiquite. After the game, go home and shower, people. It's cool to go directly to Northgate from the game, but it is not cool at midnight to be still standing around in your sweat drenched Maroon Out shirt trying to spit game. Honestly.

So Allison and I came home and showered and then went up to Northgate. That was pretty fun. I got to see some people from high school and my old roommate Cade, who apparently has cleaned up his act. Always a good time when Cade's around. So we had a couple beers on Northgate and then decided to go check out this big party that was going on. We said our goodbyes, made our way to the front of Duddley's and then made a break for it across University to the dorms where we had parked. Next thing I notice is a cop has altered his predetermined course to turn into the dorm parking lot as though he were coming after us. I jokingly recalled the story when Todd got pulled over for jaywalking and told Allison the same was going to happen to us. Telling that story might have been a bad idea.

Because we decided to avoid him. When he was on the right side of the cars, we walked on the left. As he circled around we meandered through the cars. It was becoming more and more apparent to us that this dude was trying to talk to us, so we darted through the cars and went to Moore for a while. I needed to pee and I was seeing if anyone I knew was there. My old summer roomie John was outside. So then it was time to make a break for the car. We figured that there was no way this guy was going to expend anymore energy than he already had on a stupid jaywalking ticket. Wrong. He was still there waiting for us. We went behind the dumpsters and around and got to my car without him being able to talk to us. Success.

Wrong. We pull out of the parking lot onto University and the fucking cop pulls out right behind us. At this point I'm considerably alarmed, but I don't want to say anything to Allison and get her paranoid. Turns out, she was thinking the same thing. Just to check that he was actually following me, I thought I'd get in the left lane and let him pass me. Wrong. I got in the left lane and he switched lanes as well. So now I'm officially being tailed by a cop, and I cannot show up to a party with 5-0 on my tail, so I change my destination from the party to not-the-party. And I guess the fact that I was switching back into the right lane to try and get away let him know that this was the end of the road and he hit the lights and pulled me over.

Now I'm thinking to myself that jaywalking is not that big of a deal and everyone does it, he sure did go to great lengths to catch me. So I hand him my license and he says "The reason I pulled you over was because you're wearing a black shirt." [Insert dramatic pause] WTF? Well, as the story goes, someone in a black shirt was shooting paintballs at people on Northside that night, so I guess its common practice for the police department to pull over anyone coming from Northgate wearing black, since it is, by all means, a rare and hard-to-find shirt color. Although it was fun explaining why we were totally avoiding him in the parking lot. I just told him that we were deciding whether or not to go visit people at Moore and he bought it. Whew.

So then we got to the party and proceeded to tell that story many, many times. This party was total sensory overload. I've never seen so many beautiful people under one roof. We totally took this guy up on his offer to drink as much as we wanted and I soon realized that I was not going to be driving home. But CARPOOL stops running at 3 and we were not going to leave this party at 3, far too early. Next thing you know you're waking up on some strangers couch without a care in the world. I called Allison to find out where the fuck she'd gone. Turns out she was on a couch not 10 feet away from me. It was a killer party dudes, 5 bucks to get in, but I seriously didn't mind. Rock n roll.

And the final piece of news, today is Chris's 19th birthday. I would put up a link to IM him for his birthday, but he is never online these days. So in lieu of contacting him, let me just say Happy Birthday Chris!!!

I just got done with my first real session of yoga, and holy crap was it hard. The entire thing is isometric, which looks easy, but man my muscles were burning up. The stretching we did last week felt so good and was totally relaxing. And we did it again this week but then followed it up with some yoga that could only be described as aerobic. And anyone who knows me knows I'm not down with the aerobics. But, this is the class, and I love it for what it is, and I'm going to give it my all.

That Quotes and Convos excerpt from my conversation with Sean (TAMUROCKS) has gotten me thinking. Maybe there should be a Miss Quoting Pageant. That would certainly be more entertaining to watch than the Miss America Pageant. She could go up to the mic and the announcer would say, "1 minute on the clock, top ten answers on the board. Chris Farley." And the contestant would say, "I've been using your product for a year now, and I'm still excited. They have a thin candy shell, I'm surprised you didn't know that. Hey Dad, I don't see too good, is that Bill Shakespeare over there? Lay off me I'm starving." And then the buzzer would sound and the results would be tabulated... God, thats a good idea.

Always one to try and share the wealth of visitors that I have on a daily basis, I have to announce the conception of another new blog. Chris (henceforth known as Topher ... his collegiate persona) has started a blog of his own. You can click here to read it, its pretty a pretty clever little page. Thats him up top in the cowboy hat for the one or two of you who haven't spoken to me in the past 4 months and don't know who he is. *wink*

So as I was walking back from yoga there was a young man, about my age, standing out by the ol' Sul Ross statue ... better known as the free speech area of campus. And right around as I got into the audible range, before I could make out individual words, I just knew that he was yelling about god or jebus or something. Nobody talks that loud in public unless they're spouting off some shit no one wants to hear. He was talking about how his friend went into a coma and he saved his life. Because the incompetant doctors with all their book smarts had said that if he recovered from the coma he wouldn't ever be the same. So this kid, being smarter than the doctors, started praying and cured his friend. Christ on a cracker, desperate people so often cling to desperate notions. I wavered between laughing, crying and wailing on him with my tennis elbow. But ultimately, I did nothing but ignore him, as I do most people on campus.

Speaking of, kind of funny. My friend Charlie is a senior in the corps. Don't ask how I got mixed up with a corps boy but I did. So I hear this corps boy (they all look the same to me) yell, "Hey!" And I ignore him, of course. And then I heard it again. And I was thinking that he was probably upset about the fact that the patch on my bag says, "War is not healthy for children and other living things," ala John Denver's Whose Garden is This album cover. And we all know corps boys are not taught, but trained, so I figured he was reacting to the stimulus of rationale. But then he finally caught up to me, boots clanking the whole way and grabbed my shoulder. He's lucky I'm incapable of inflicting any harm, unwilling to exert myself, untrained in any self defense, and lacking all sense of reflexes, or I might have flipped him over and put him in a hold. Damn lucky. Instead, I realized that it was my friend and said hi. Kind of anti-climactic, but I enjoyed the happy ending.

That's about all from the home front. I'm attempting to blog every day this week, but hesitant to make that claim cause I'll probably forgo one day this weekend. But I am starting to see my numbers steadily rise and I can only contribute it to my own dedication. So keep checking back. Peace out, you have nots.

Yesterday was really fun, but weird at the same time. I have never been so clueless about what time it is in all my life. It may not sound that mind boggling to any of you; however, I will still attempt to explain. So I woke up on Saturday at 10am because I had told my boss that I would come into work and mill out a circuit board. I was so hungover it wasn't even funny, which sucked cause I didn't even get drunk the night before. I guess these things happen. Or maybe I was genuinely ill, but just didn't notice because I drink too much. Either way, I was not rested and my head was pounding. So I called my boss to see if he had finished the design for the board and thankfully he had not, so I went back to bed.

Allison came into town to move into her new shithole, I mean, apartment. It's modest, we'll just say it that way. Anywho, I had to go move heavy things in the hot sun which really helped my temperment. Then I had lunch with AllieD, Jaime and AllieD's mom whom I'd never met before. That was delicious although Los Cucos has about the worst service I've ever seen (and I've eaten at Kerrie's Stacked Enchiladas). So anyway, after I was done with all that, I went home and fell asleep. I woke up around 5pm cause Todd called me to go meet him out at the Campus Lodge pool. Enter beer.

There were some random people in the pool that were pretty cool. They had this little game called Alcohol Poisoning. It was really quite clever. There was a basketball hoop, and the rules were a lot like Horse. The only twist is that anytime you miss a shot, you have to drink an entire beer. And you play until somebody spells out Alcohol Poisoning. I'm not a big sports guy, so I neglected the invitation to play but I did drink a bunch of beer and get some sun. Great day. I went home and absolutely crashed.

I wake up at like midnight with no concept of where I am or whats happened. And I see 7 missed calls on my cell phone between two people. So I called Chris and we went out for like an hour until the bars quit serving and I managed to get a little drunk all over again. I went home and thanks to the fact that Todd never called me back (jackass) I fell asleep in my recliner ... again. Now all of a sudden its 6am and I'm not tired anymore. So I made myself some food since I hadn't eaten the night before, took a shower, and went to bed.

I wake up again at 11, pay some bills, clean up a little, and I'm thinking, "wow its almost dinner time," when I look at the clock and realize that its only 12:30 and time is absolutely dragging by. So here I am at work, taking advantage of the internet connection. I was hoping my boss would have sent me the design to mill and I could do that today cause I'm so fucking bored, but alas, in true style he did not. Oh well, I guess I'll just sit here for a couple more hours and then go chill in my empty apartment some more. I'll catch you sluts on the flip side. Laaaaaaaate.

Still no internet at mi casa. I haven't really tried to figure out what is wrong aside from repeatedly plugging my ethernet cable into the wall and trying to open AIM. I don't really care all that much, since I'm online all day at work, but it would be nice. In my boredom of being unplugged, I have been finding other, equally unproductive things to do with my time while I sit home alone in my big empty apartment. Of course, it would make sense to clean and put stuff away, but I have yet to put away more than one thing per day. I like to pace myself, y'know. Don't want to have a heart attack.

Last night I played guitar for a while and decided to set up my recording studio. Alas, I could not locate the AC adapter for my 4-track recorder so I got frustrated and quit. Then I sat down at the computer and recorded myself singing 3/4th's of a second of each note in the chromatic scale. Then, using Sound Recorder, I mixed and inserted notes strategically to build chords and progressions. It was really fun and time consuming. I just ate breakfast with Chris and he said that he would bring over some of his piano sheet music for me to recreate with my glorious voice tonight. Could be fun.

Two nights ago I watched the Most Outrageous TV Game Show Moments 3, or something to that effect. In between clips, they went around and asked people in the mall trivia questions. They asked one guy how big his epidermis was, and he said about 7 inches. They asked another guy what he thinks about when he masticates and he said women. One woman said that a hot guy would cause her angina to act up. As a grammar cop, I was horrified and gave them all mental citations. Friends don't let friends be stoopid. Peace, my friends, and good night.

I was really waiting to update this story until I could get some photographic evidence of the athletic prowess involved, but unfortunately that requires a third person to act as photographer. And as it were, nothing of note has happened since my last post to fill the void. Anyway, me and the roomie, Joanna were sittin around the kitchen with nothing to do so I made her a friendly wager that whoever could touch their butt to the ceiling first got $100 from the other person. I really didn't think it was a possibility that either one of us would be able to do it, so I was pretty comfortable making that large of a bet and agreeing to it for her.

Once the deal was sealed, we both set out trying to figure out how on earth to get our asses so high up in the air. I tried bracing myself with the kitchen counter and walking up the wall, but I have no leg muscles. So the next idea was to walk up the wall over by the dryer where it is reasonably spaced for just such a task.

In the end, it was teamwork that was necessary in order to touch one's ass to the ceiling. Joanna got in position, and I propped her up while she got her feet set. Then as she walked up the wall, I got underneath her and lifted her up. Despite her wishes to come down, I lifted her higher and higher. My friend, Chris, happened to walk in just then and I think he was ... um ... lets just say, impressed. Anyway, i eventually had my arms completely extended pressing Joanna's ass against the ceiling of our duplex and only then did she come down.

I was pivotal to her winning so I didn't feel the need to pay her. Not that I was going to anyway.