My brother Michael is in town for xristmas, so I went over to my parents' house to see him and his family. When I went into the kitchen there were three bananas hanging on a hook and one of them had a smiley face on it. And the banana that his daughter was eating had her name written on it. But they weren't written on, per se, they had just rotted in such a precise manner as to produce these images. I have never heard this before, but if you "erase" a banana, it will rot. So you just take a pencil eraser, run it over the skin, wait about 20 minutes, and wherever you erased will be black. It is beyond cool.

My mom thought it would be funny to go to the grocery store and then when nobody is looking, write "BANANAS KILL!" on all of the bananas. You'd have plenty of time to get away undetected if anybody caught you doing it. I'm not sure I have the balls required to do that, but it's pretty funny to think of all the different options. Me? I decided to draw a monkey holding bananas. You can't really see all of him because he wraps around the fruit, but we did our best to snap a decent picture.

So that's my xristmas gift to you all this year. This newfound knowledge. As you come together with your family to celebrate the everlasting life of capitalism, take a moment to put some profanity on the bananas. It's the gift that keeps on giving.