Last weekend Daniel's old coworker was having a surprise birthday party. So we went over to her house around 8pm where her friends were setting up for a party. They'd gone all out with banners and streamers, plates of food, High School Musical novelty pom-poms ... I mean this party was NICE. And she came and we surprised her -- you shoulda seen her face, that's the best part -- and then we all just hung out and drank.

I was sitting on the porch when someone asked me if I could please try to blow up one of those long skinny balloons. Having played trumpet a decade ago, I have monstrously powerful lungs. So after nearly tearing my cheek skin, I got it blown up and tied off. Then I started twisting it around on itself pretending I knew what I was doing. What I ended up with was a big vagina with a penis penetrating it. Not exactly kid-friendly balloon art, but I was pretty pleased with myself. Considering it was the first balloon animal I had ever made, I didn't mind it being a beaver.

Later on we were standing in the kitchen and found the balloon pump that came with the balloons. So I blew another one up. And I looked at it. Thought about it for a second. And then one, two, three, twists later, I produced a giraffe much like the one pictured. All of Daniel's friends were like "what the hell." So Daniel told me that they all think I'm good at everything. Mostly because I pursue a host of interests, all with varying degrees of success. But I told Daniel that if they ever wanted to see me fail miserably at something, I would be happy to challenge any of them to a game of Horse on the basketball court. Because part of looking like you're good at everything is never being seen doing something you're horrible at. And that's my lesson to you for the day. If something is hard... quit. Peace, I'm out of here.

“But I told Daniel that if they ever wanted to see me fail miserably at something, I would be happy to challenge any of them to a game of Horse on the basketball court.”
Something about this makes me laugh.