I think I might have made a slight error in judgement when I hastily shelled out the ridiculous amount of money that I did for this Sweeney Todd style straight razor. It's supposed to give you an unbelievably close shave. Instead what it gives me is a Jackson Pollack neck and face. Tonight I ran to get my camera when I was done shaving to try and capture the utter horror that was facing back at me in the mirror. This picture is after some of the redness had gone away and after I washed off the lather, inadvertently clearing the trickles of blood. It is so incredibly painful. My face will now sting for like two hours, or until I go to bed. And the best part is, I'm left with a thick stubble on my face for all my troubles. It's amazing how I can remove 8 to 10 layers of skin but leave the hair completely intact.

In my defense, I did not receive any formal training on how to shave and after doing some reading on the internet, I may be doing things incorrectly. The jerkoff that sold me the razor was just like, "Uh yeah, you put it against your face and the hair comes off." So I thought it would be that easy. But it's not. You really have to use a surprising amount of force to get the blade through the hair. And every fucking time I drag it across my skin, I feel afterwards and there is a full healthy beard left behind. So tonight I made the fateful decision to shave against the grain with my freshly honed (or stropped) blade. The hair is a little shorter, although I am no smoother, and my face is on fire.

I suppose that's why they call it the art of shaving. I don't suppose you can pick it up and get it right the first time. One website I read suggesting trimming only your sideburns for a few times and shaving normally on the rest of your skin. And then when you've got that down, venture a little further until you eventually shave your whole face. I might rethink my entire approach here and start over that way. One thing I don't intend to do is give up. It may be painful, dangerous, and draining, but I'm going to stick with it for a while longer. I paid way to much to just cut and run.

Get it?

Anyway, I'm off to sulk and watch TV. Only three more days until Febrehab starts and I can't wait. Czech you have-nots later if I haven't gotten tetanus by then.