There's a new promotional deal from the good people at M&M's. You might have seen the commercials for it. It's kind of cool. You can log onto their website (mms.com) and customize your M&M's. You get to choose two colors and two phrases. So you could get like lavender and yellow M&M's that say, "Happy Easter," and, "Praise Jesus!" But therein lies the problem. That's like all they will let you do.
They have a few rules you must abide by in order to get your customized candy. First, no single letters. They take pride in their brand or some shit like that so the only single letters they will print on their candy is their trademarked "M." Mmmk, no big deal. Secondly, no company names or organization names. Whatever. This is where it gets stupid. No references to drugs. They had an example of a candy they would not print and it said, "Mary's Pills," which I thought was riotous. I can just see Mary's face when you give them to her. She'd kind of try to feign like she found it amusing but really she would just be kinda like what the hell? Yknow? Also you work with Mary and she's kind of uptight. So okay that eliminated like a third of my ideas. And finally, no obscenities. Game over. I'm not buying customized M&M's.
The last thing wrong with this idea is that you only get two lines and each line is 8 characters each. So you really can't express anything in inuendos or whatever to get around their Nazi rules about what they will and won't print. So here's what I'm thinking. I will start my own business where I do nothing but buy plain M&M's and then print stuff on them for you. And I'll have a microprinter so you can get M&M's with your entire manifesto on them. All I'm saying is that the M&M's pictured here would be fun to nonchalantly sneak into a child's birthday party and if the only thing standing between me and that goal is some kind of edible microprinter I'm not entirely sure exists, but if I does you can be certain it would be wildly prohibitively expensive... well then, I'm not going to let that stop me.
Well. So. Anyway. That may or may not have been worth an entire blog.
