I am on the verge of accomplishing something I have never accomplished before. I am about to finish a garment. Like, I started it, worked on it, and now it is almost done. It's a weird feeling.

When I would watch Project Runway, I was always confused as to how men got involved in women' fashion. I would imagine that people would just gravitate toward designing clothes for themselves and then would branch off from there. But this garment I'm about to finish is a dress for my friend Katie. And now I understand why everyone does women's clothes. They are so much easier than men's. And so much more fun.

I wouldn't tell Katie anything about the dress. All I would tell her is that anything I made, she had to wear. And furthermore, she has to wear it at Daniel's upcoming birthday party. So now I really have to finish it. But since I don't really mind if she finds out, and because I don't think she reads my webpage with any regularity, I thought I'd go ahead and post a sketch of the dress. I totally free handed this from scratch. Not. But I did choose the colors to approximate the fabric that I chose. Part of me hopes it fits her beautifully, but I have to admit there's another part of me that hopes we have to pin it up and let it out and her boob is falling out all night. That would just be funnier. I'm sure we'll snag at least one picture of her at the party and then we can finally compare one of my sketches to the finished product. And that will make for good times.

Speaking of the party, if you aren't on Myspace and didn't get the invitation, but somehow feel you are deserving of attending, just let me know. We should have plenty of room for more friends. I gotta go attach the dress and the bodice now and then I'll be done. Ha, "bodice," listen to me talking like an old pro. Laaaaaaaate.

If you need a judge, I’m all in. I organized much of the photography for the Kors website. Ya know, in case you needed my sham qualifications.

did you take her measurements at some point?

David,
I am very happy to report the Chinese gov. is no longer blocking access to your blog (you dont even want to know what I had to let a high racking party official do to me in order to make that happen). So your readership can continue to grow in my home, China.

Measurements? Nahhhh, I just eyeballed it.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHAAH!!1!!!!!

If you had designed this in the first half of the season, Michael Kors would’ve said you needed to pay your dues first. Nina Garcia would’ve said it looked like you just threw it together at the last minute. Heidi Klum would’ve said something incomprehensible and then made pouty bitch faces.

If you had designed this in the second half of the season, Michael Kors would’ve said you were getting too bold and that it might be “haute” but definitely not “couture”. Nina Garcia would’ve said it was bold, but in every wrong way possible. Heidi Klum would’ve said something incomprehensible and then made pouty bitch faces.

If you had designed this as part of your collection at the end of the season, Michael Kors would’ve said it was too retail and predictable while you should’ve been showing off your personal vision. Nina Garcia would’ve said she missed the old SideShoVid from the first few eliminations and that you seem to be compromising your vison. Heidi Klum would’ve said something incomprehensible and then made pouty bitch faces.

Then they would’ve given the grand prize to some splotchy bitch who designed a 1996 Banana Republic skirt and paired it with hemp sandals.

Which is why they suck and you don’t.

(What’s with all the green lately?)

So I’ve been showing your website to my friend Jackie, and I can’t remember the last time she’s laughed that hard.