I thought that it might be fun today to play a little game with all of you. I've obtained an exclusive photograph of a celebrity trash can. Given the three options, you have to guess whose trash it is. Ready? Here we go.

Is the answer A: British soccer stud and metrosexual posterboy David Beckham, B: International super model and reality TV emcee Heidi Klum, orrrrrr C: internet megalomaniac and google addict SideshoViD.

If you said C, you're right! You win everything behind door #1. Now take my trash out, idiot. Do you think it says anything about my lifestyle that I'm overflowing with empty cases of beer, empty cans, empty cigarette packs, and empty pizza boxes? I think it means I need to buy more beer, cigarettes, and pizza. Am I right?

Really, it is getting out of control and while it's all going to be going away during Febrehabruarii, I think it might be prudent to wean myself a little before then. I don't want to put my body in shock. Speaking of, is anybody else doing Febrehabruarii?

Hope you all had a good New Year's party and were hungover like it's 2006. Peace out skillets.

looks like a wicked game of trash jenga

Haha, unfortunately, I’m the only player, so I’m destined to lose all around.

I chose “C.” (at first) but I don’t like being called an idiot so I changed my answer to “A.”

i will do the february thing with you, dawg.

Yeah, I’m down with Febrehabruarii. I have to pay for a trip to Paris in March, so this will be good. Perhaps I’ll come visit that month and we will hang out and not drink or smoke.

“I feel like Beavis and Butthead. Tell them how big our cocks are,” Brett Sabulous said was we took our third Effen shot in the penthouse suite of the Westin hotel. We are on SideshoViD.com o the god damned TELEVISION!!1! YOU EVER HEARD OF ANYTHING LIIK THAT HOLY FUCK!1! WE ARE GOING TO THE GOD DAMNED JACU;ZZI GOD DAMNIT I’M ON THE FUCKING TV IT IS SO LATE AND WE ARE SO DAMN DRYBNJ