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I'd like to thank you all for coming on such short notice. The reason I called you here is to take care of a few items of business.
First, I will be in Austin (Round Rock) on August 12. I am going to AllieD's wedding, remember? Well then my boss comes to tell me that I will be in Cincinnati for two weeks ... the two weeks that would put that wedding smack dab in the middle. I'm not sure, smack dab may be kind of strong, but in the middle nonetheless. I gave them two options, since I am an uppity little shit. I said they could either pay for me to go to Austin that weekend or delay my trip one week. They opted for the latter. Disaster! Nobody wants to attend a wedding reception and then wake up early the next day to drive three hours and get on a plane. So now, I am going to fly out of Austin on the 14th, the details of which aren't entirely worked out. I'll be on the campus of the University of Cincinnati for two weeks and then I will fly back into Austin. Then I'll party one more weekend in that fair city before I return to Dallas. Should be fun.
Secondly, I made an appointment with a doctor for Monday. I am going to go in and repeat back to him the symptoms of sleep apnea that I read on the internet. Please, it won't be the first time I've lied to a doctor to get what I want. Although, usually that is prescription medication. This time, it will be my golden ticket. You see, in order to go to the sleep clinic that I want to go to, you need a referral from a general practitioner. So I'm going to do what it takes to get that referral. Then I get to go to a sleep clinic and spend the night wired up with electrodes and monitors and shit and they will see that I'm waking up 1,000 times a night. I also know from eye witness accounts that I stop breathing for long periods of time and then gasp for air. It's so sleep apnea; it has to be. We're gonna get that taken care of though, don't you worry.
Those were the two action items I wanted to address today. If anybody knows anyone in or anything about Cincinnati please hit me up. Laaaaaaaaaate.
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