I arrived in Paris late, and feeling a tad under the weather. I'm not sure if it was the travelling, it being the end of a long week, or perhaps the hangover that was beginning to fester, but I felt like crap. I had written the address of my hotel on a piece of paper as one website suggested since none of the cab drivers speak English there. I managed to make it into my room around 10pm.

All I wanted to do was go to bed, but first I forced myself to walk out and get a picture of the Eiffel Tower all lit up at night. Then I took a shower and fell asleep. I was a tad obsessed with the Eiffel, I took about 30 pictures of it from various angles and times. Maybe because it's so phallic, I don't know. But that was the only thing I really wanted to see in Paris.

The next day I didn't feel much better but I thought a brisk walk might help, so off I went to the Eiffel. There were long, long lines waiting to go up each of the four elevators so I nixed that from my plans. Instead I walked up to the Arc de Triumph and snapped a picture. I'm such a horrible tourist. All I could think is that it looked exactly like the pictures I'd seen. I felt nothing toward it. This, coupled with feeling like crap, had forced me to a new low. I couldn't even appreciate history, I didn't need to be there, I should just go home.

But before I did I walked down a street with a bunch of people on it. Hello?! Shopping! I bought some really cool, really Euro stuff. And then I felt much better. I knew the key to happiness was dropping a few hundred Euro. I can't wait to debut it all here. It was like my favorite store here in Dallas: Source Paris, only like one after another after another after another. I was in heaven.

That's really all I did in Paris was take pictures of the Eiffel, walk around briskly, and shop. I found stereotypes about the French to generally be true. Waiting in line for McDonald's this woman shoved me out of the way and then stood in line in front of me. Whathefuck? And the receptionist at the hotel was a fucking bitch. Some guy came in around 11 to check in and she said, "Check in is at 2pm, Aur Revoir!" And he was like, "Well could I just leave my bags or ..." She turns and says louder, "Aur Revoir!" and then turns away. I was like omega I would fucking slam her face against the desk if she did that to me.

I was all too happy to leave Paris. It's a big stinky city full of rude people. But I do love the Eiffel. I liked sitting and eating lunch in its shadow just like I've always wanted to do. I also took a long walk along the Seine, another thing I've always wanted to do. And why? Duh, because I want my life to be like an ABBA lyric: