I had to get up early this morning in order to take my exam in my networking class. I hate getting up early. It makes me physically ill (see Tuesday, September 30, 2003). I really think I should be able to register with the Students with Disabilities and be granted another test time. But, in the end, I just decided to go to bed at 11:30 and woke up with minor difficulties.

The test was going to be interesting. I knew nothing of it. In fact, I didn't even know there was a test until Thursday of last week, and it was agreed with little hesitation that none of us were going to study until Sunday. And then, I forgot all about it until I was laying in agony on the couch, suffering through a hangover, and Eric IMed me asking what time we were meeting to study. So it was time to employ the time honored tradition of cramming.

I find, though, that if you're going to take an exam in a class that you haven't attended since the last exam, sometimes studying can be detrimental to your grade. I went over all the slides and worked through a few example problems -- all told I spent a little under 2 hours studying. And then I quit, went home, and went to bed. I was among the first finished with my test yet again. There are two ways to finish a test first. Either you know everything, or you know nothing. Both of them accelerate your test taking time. It is only when you exist in that netherworld between knowing the answer, and forgetting what you've learned that you agonize over every answer, desperately wracking your brain to squeeze the last bit of information from its dark and unused dungeons. I prefer to stay blissfully unawares, and answer "D" to every question I don't know, because my name starts with "D." It's such a load off.

Anyway, this is my PSA to all of my beloved viewers. Next time you have a test, try not studying, instead of studying, and see how much your grade improves. Of course, you may want to wait until I get my grade back on this test to see how effective my methods have actually been.

When I applied for U of Illinois for undergrad as a biophysics major, they told me I had to take a chemistry entry test. Since I sucked and hadn’t taken a chem class since 10th grade, I knew I had to study. But I didn’t. Not one bit. So, I go to the testing thing, and the first question is, “What is the formula for water.” Duh. I thought, This is gonna be a cinch. Oops. I had no clue what the exam said. That test was most nearly my French entry exam, or at least just as foreign. I filled in random answers to make a pretty pattern on my scantron. I didn’t answer more than 2 questions correctly on that test.

Or so I thought.

I go to get my results, and they tell me I have to meet with the counselor. Great, I must have blown it so badly that they were going to retract my admission. I arrive, and this stern Hilda-looking lady informs me that I scored in the top percentile, and I’m going to be in, like, the highest chem class possible. I tell her there has to be a mistake, that I just filled in random shit to pass the time. She’s not hearing it and insists on my genius. I am forced to take that damn super-top-level chem class.

One year later, as I’m preparing to switch majors from biophysics to humanities, my transcript has a C+, a D-, a C, and a W for withdrawal for the two chem classes, one chem lab, and one dropped lab.

Have sneaking suspicion am something of chemistry non-genius…

Congratulations, Ryan Short, the recipient of the newly founded “Longest Comment Ever Posted on SideshoViD.com” Award! Excelsior!