I went out again last night despite vowing that I never would. Once again, I was rather annoyed by the drunk people and left early. You don't have to be drunk to have fun in a club, but I firmly believe you need a couple drinks just to take the edge off of what is an overwhelmingly obnoxious situation. I mean, look at it objectively. It's dimly lit except for a few neon and strobe lights, the music is so loud that conversation is virtually impossible, and people are packed in and stumbling over each other. You're going to want to have a few beers if you're going to last the whole night.

The thought had occured to me after Febrehabruary that I might invent Marehabch and Aprehabil. By the time I hit May, I would have no choice but to resume drinking until Septemberehab, and that's just not clever. Even though Febrehabruary was a great success and one of the best months of my life (I'll have a final tally for you when it's truly over) I don't feel the need to repeat it immediately. This could become a yearly ritual for me, though. If I've learned anything from a month of sobriety, and I like to think that I haven't, it's that drinking isn't bad or wrong, but moderation is key. In this spirit, I bought myself a nice bottle of wine to drink on Tuesday. I'm fucking retarded.

I don't think I ever announced this, but I am incorporating wine bottles into the decoration of my kitchen. If any of you drink wine often, or just happen to have an occasional bottle lying around, save it for me because I could use about 20 empty bottles, and that will take me DAYS to accumulate. Thanks.

Well, I think its just about time for me to go cook a dry chicken breast while living vicariously through Contessa With Her Shoes Off. Then I'll drink a few gallons of water so I can sweat it out in yoga. I am so v. busy and important. Check you skillets later.

V. busy and important, indeed, Bridge.

I wasn’t so much quoting Bridget as I was quoting Ryan Short quoting Bridget.

Now, I feel v. important! Good luck today, on your last day. I hope that when you recap about Febrehabuary, that you give us the statistics, included how many times that you peed.

I fucking LOVE Contessa.

Also in your recap I expect you to somehow incorporate “28 Days Later.” Because that would just be clever.

does this wine bottles need to have the actual wine label on them? My mom goes through like, 3 bottles every two weeks, but she colleges the labels… lemme know, perhaps I can gank a few from her…

I swear, my grammer isn’t always that bad… Oprah is on, and is being distracting…

I’ll take any bottles you can get your hands on. Some of them will be behind others, and it won’t matter if they have labels or not.
And it’s g-r-a-m-m-A-r.

I never claimed my spelling was never bad…

Is that a double negative?