Last night I spent the night in the sleep lab once again. This time I slept with a CPAP on. We started out with just trying on a few different masks. None of them were particularly comfortable, but I chose the one that did not stick like a half inch into my nostril. Honestly, whoever designed some of these masks are medieval sons-a-bitches. So I chose the one I disliked the least and then went to sleep.
They started off on a really low pressure, essentially allowing me to choke and gasp for a while and then gradually increased the pressure until I stopped completely. Everyone was pretty surprised, given the severity of my condition, how low the optimal pressure was. I know it was 6 (and they were expecting somewhere around 18). For those scientifically minded people, I'm pretty sure that's centimeters of water. They said my age may have something to do with how readily my body would adapt to a low pressure. Usually it's saggy 60-year-olds who need a CPAP. Because they allowed me to have "events" for the first part of the night, they couldn't tell me exactly how much better I was with the CPAP, but they guessed my 70-80 times an hour should be reduced to 5 times per night. Yesssssss.
I'm really just glad I have some public forum on which I can bring about some awareness of sleep apnea. This CPAP not only allows me to sleep (I had a dream last night while laying on my back ... probably the first ever) but it eliminates my snoring. Anybody who has ever spent the night with me can attest that a machine strapped to my face is infinitely better than my snoring. If you have insurance and trouble sleeping, man, just fucking go to a sleep lab. They could really help you. I cooked up a batch of these bracelets. If you'd like one, send me $20, idiot.
I appreciate everyone's well wishes last night when I had my away message up. It said, "I'm going to sleep now ... for the first time in my life. Wish me luck." I had several good lucks, a few I love yous, etc., etc. Then there was our good friend Thommi who had this to say:
yeguabball: wake up Auto response from SideshoViD: I'm going to sleep now ... for the first time in my life. Wish me luck. yeguabball: im sending you a paper i need you to proof
Fucking bitch. The first night of my life where I'm supposed to get medically treated for uninterrupted sleep and he expects me to wake up and write him a paper. Last things last. When you see me out, keep in mind that you're going to wake up next to this:
