I went to the sleep lab again. This time, I slept normally at home for 8 hours and then woke up at my normal time and went to the hospital. I got to eat breakfast and then had to take a nap. I took 30 minute naps at 9, 11, 1, 3 and 5. If during any one of these tests, you happen to fall asleep within 10 minutes, that is a cause for some concern. But there are so many factors that they take the average. Cause some people will fall asleep really easily after lunch and stuff. Anywho, the AVERAGE time it took me to fall asleep was under 2 minutes. So I have scientific verification that I am tired. Awesome.

That's the reason I was afraid I had narcolepsy. But the difference between me and a narcoleptic is that they fall directly into REM immediately, and, well, we all know, I never go into REM. So I'm just way tired. And they don't know why. Well, they do know why. Because I have horrible, horrible apnea. But we cured that and it made it worse. So ... what to do?

They finally took Miles' advice. Miles always told me that my problem wasn't sleeping, it was being awake. And they make pills for that. Well, I got some. It's called Provigil. It is a modafinil stimulant that has none of the addictive side effects of an amphetamine. Please try to remember the name of my medication because I am taking the good shit -- the name brand. Nothing generic here. There are some knock-offs on the market that you can get, though. The first one I found is called Brovigil. It keeps you awake all day... and can also work as a date rape drug when placed in a freshman girl's Zima. Then, there is Movigil. Movigil smells good, but oddly enough tastes like well-vodka and Astroglide. Don't ask me how I know that. So ultimately, I decided I'd go with the Pro- version of the medication. There was one substitute I considered opting for, but it was just wayyyy too bitter. It was called Sidesho-vigil.

I am currently dosing with the Provigil, but will probably eventually be taking 200mg in the morning and 200mg right after lunch. I don't know that it's done me any good just yet, but we shall see. Once I get stabilized with the correct amount of stimulants, I am going to try the CPAP again. And then once we get to a point where I can sleep (and function the next day) using the CPAP, I'm sure I'll go in for another round of tests. My doctor said he's turned me into a research study since he's never seen anything like this before. I asked, but he said that it didn't mean that he would be paying me from now on instead of vice versa.

It's a never ending saga. I'm taking a break from it all this weekend in Austin to go to Leslie's house warming. And I might be going to Detroit on Monday for a week. That's still up in the air. Sheezalmighty, grood times. Holla back, yungin'.

And before you even ask ... $20.

I hope that the modanfinil works. Fortunately, it will be years before we see the generic of this pill – the patent won’t expire on modanfinil until at least 2015.
If it doesn’t work then I will have a whole suite of sympathomimetics for you to try.
Enjoy Austin. Come to the Hamptons soon.

haha, before you even ask $20.
funny. no way anyone in their right mind would pay it however. adderall is like 3 bucks a pop, 5 at the most.
let me know if that’s no what you meant.

not* what you meant

I’m starting to forget what our dinner was like the other night!!!

Damnit, I can’t even read this article because I’m laughing too hard at the photo of the pill with your head it.
What an ab work out; I haven’t laughed this hard since the bubble blowing at Allison’s wedding! *Insert catty Little Mermaid jokes here*

Bitch! That’s right but I love ya. I was randomly surfing the net and came across your site. I was looking up Halo shit and boom, your site came up. It was regarding a story that I started off with saying…Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, and I……I had a great laugh. I do not remember the story but most associated with those names are. I also read about Leslie’s housewarming party and little Bob’s gift. Yes, the old days were fun and filled with crazy times. I miss the old gang A LOT ! Halo is still there and doing better than ever but it is not the same without the gang. Those were the gays….I mean days. Tell everyone I said Hello. Maybe, you should gather the ghurls and all make a trip together to Halo to re-hash the fun. Let me know…Till then, smooch!
Jeff AKA “Big Jeff”