|
And I can't ask for things to be still again. No, I can't ask if I could walk through the world in your eyes. Longing for home again, but home is a feeling I buried in you. I'm alright. I'm alright. It only hurts when I breathe.
Long nights lead to longer days. Last night was Taste Addison! I headed up to the roof of the parking garage to sneak a free view of the Hootie and the Blowfish concert. They were okay, but I only knew like 3 of their songs that they sang. I ended up polishing off more than my fair share of Kers Lat. I really haven't been drinking much lately, so I only meant to cut a little loose. I forgot that still raw emotions and excessive alcohol aren't always the smartest mix. I ended up saying things. I didn't necessarily not mean them, but I never mean to portray myself as angry or hurtful so I wasn't too happy with myself over that.
Today, I ended up waking up really early despite a screaming hangover. Later in the day, I went outside to smoke a cigarette and ran into Daniel and Miles. When Daniel left for work, Miles and I sat in the park in the sun and chain smoked and talked a lot. It was a really hard conversation to have. I didn't like anything that I said or that I heard, but it all needed to be said and heard. Honesty is the best policy, in every situation. I swear by it, but have not had that courtesy extended towards myself as of late, so we bypassed the kink in the communication and clarified a lot for each other. I don't know how this will end up, but I can tell you that however it does, it will be for the right reasons. It won't be based on a lack of information, a poor assumption, or another fucking lie.
When I got home the combination of a pretty bitching hangover, a few hours out in the sun, half a pack of cigarettes, and a stomach filled to capacity with nothing but water caught up with me. Having a really stressful conversation that had my stomach in knots didn't help too much either. I ended up throwing up. I fucking hate throwing up sober. It hurts. Then I took a long nap in my refrigerator of an apartment. I tried to take a hydrocodeine to alleviate some of the pain, but apparently it's only meant for physical pain. I spent the rest of the night with the lights off playing guitar until the gang showed up to chill for a little bit. I really like this Melissa Etheridge song, "Breathe."
I am alright, but it does hurt a lot. But I think I'll just keep breathing.
| 