Old men confuse me. Maybe there's a magic age at which everything they do starts to make sense and I just haven't reached it yet. Perhaps on my 30th birthday everything will become clear. One thing that has always confused me is how old men insist on being naked in the locker room at the gym. Don't get me wrong; I'm no prude. I strip down to go into the sauna. The key difference is that almost immediately after disrobing, I wrap a towel around my waist to spare people the blinding reflection off my ass. Old men strip down, weigh themselves, wash their face, look in the mirror, talk to other old men, and then and only then do they throw a towel over their shoulder and flop over to the steam room. I don't get it. What's the fascination with being naked? Have their wives banned the practice at home for so many years that the only way to get the liberating sensation of free balling around a room is in a men-only environment? Do I have any old man readers that can explain this? Do I have any young readers that get a thrill from streaking?

I had to add another confusing trait to my quandary today at work. We have several old men there and they all share a perplexing act in another all-male venue -- the bathroom. They pee without using their hands. I've seen them put both hands up on the wall in front of them. Hands on the hips is also a very popular tactic. Today topped it all though. The new old guy was peeing with both hands in his pockets. How is this even possible? Do they just not care anymore if their stream wanders off onto the floor? Is there some sort of rigor that sets in after 40 that allows for steady hands-free aiming? It's so bizarre. Please, somebody, help me understand. Do I need to start practicing now for old age?

It’s not just the old men. The old ladies at my gym like to walk around basking in their nakedness as well. I think it may not be an old person thing…I think it’s an, “I’m old as hell and I don’t give a rat’s ass anymore,” thing.

I am almost 30, dont count on any answers when it come. Maybe people who can pee with no hands have centimeter peters.

If their peters were centimeters, wouldnt they wet their slacks?

Its funny you should bring this up. Just today we were released for a quick five minute break from class, I proceeded to the bathroom to take a leak and unknowingly followed by my 60 year old professor. The floors were wet upon entry and there was a pungent aroma in the air, the floors were quite possibly wet from just being mopped but either way I shrugged it off. I finished up and went to the sink to wash my hands when my prof quickly prompted to inform me that he hoped that the floor wasn’t wet due to someone “pissing” all over it. Being the nice guy I am kinda gave him a haha, courtesy laugh and then commented on the smell of ass that was lingering throughout the mens room. without missing a beat he said it could be from this; as he ripped ASS. I honestly felt out of my element. I mean come on was that really neccesary, then I was actually suppose to take him seriously for the rest of class. I DONT THINK SO! Old men never fail to amaze me.