I just got back from my first workout at my new gym. It's the newest addition to the Circle and it is probably the best gym ever. For a long time I was at Lifetime. I liked the marble floors and waterfalls. And I also liked that every member of the gym was a fat old man, so I had, like, the best body of anybody there. But ultimately the $54 a month got to be too much and I opted for the $0 a month Addison Parks & Rec gym. It's pretty nice, and definitely worth the price, but the lack of free weights I think has severely hindered me from obtaining a real Osteo Biflex body.

So when the gym here got bought out and remodled I decided to give it another try. I'd toured it once before and it didn't have any amenities significantly better than the ones I already had. All that has changed though. The machines that they have are all brand new and like top of the line, state of the art. Every piece of the leg lift machine adjusts. And I hate to sound like a commercial for this machine, but I really felt it targeting the muscles. I was also able to do way more weight. Presumably because I wasn't struggling against an un-oiled bar and sticky belt. So I was totally impressed there. Plus a full line of free weights to kick it up a notch.

But the best part ... I forgot about her face! That's the best part! ... is the cardio equipment. I can't even tell you. Every piece of equipment has it's own TV. And those TVs have FULL CABLE. I was watching the Food Network (I forgot my headphones so I was able to stomach Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee ... hey, wow you poured store bought pie filling into a store bought pie crust. I wanna fuckin' watch that) and before I knew it 20 minutes had gone by when I'd only intended to do a 5 minute warm up. Yes, this could be the difference between Fat David and Marginally Fat David. I no longer have to choose between American Idol and working out. The gym is so close I could even run there during a commercial and not miss a beat -- another major plus. It's so hard to motivate myself to get BACK into the car to fight traffic the OTHER way I just came from as soon as I get home. Now I can just walk.

Man, I can't say enough good things about this gym. But don't join it. Because I don't want it to get crowded. Thanks.