Steaks, Flags, Softmores, and Jesus
Thursday, September 25, 2003 2:42 pm

Last night I decided I needed a proper meal, so I coerced Owen into going to Outback Steakhouse with me. Holy shit, it was the best meal I've ever had. I got this $25 steak, and it was rare, and fatty, and bloody ... and oh my god. I still get happy when I think about it now. It was dead on what I was looking for. It reminded me of the scene in the Matrix where Cypher is meeting with Agent Smith and has the red wine, and red steak, and cigar. Only I had a bigass Coors light, red steak and a cigarette. It was absolutely incredible. Some day I will eat like that every day.

In other news, I have a few humorous stories that I should probably spread over the next few days when I run out of things to talk about, but I just can't wait and I don't want to forget them.

The other day I saw an American flag bumper sticker that said, "These colors don't run. Never have. Never will." And it was completely faded by the sun.

This sorority bitch on the bus this morning was talking on her cell phone entirely too loud (like they always do) and said to her friend, "I don't know how half the people got into this university much less to the point they are at. Charles was a softmore in college and didn't know how to do a bibliography. Can you believe it? A SOFTMORE! A SOFTMORE in college and he didn't know." And no, children, I'm not the idiot here, I'm typing it exactly how she was saying it. Very clear with the T.

I was walking behind two girls on campus today after yoga, and eavesdropping as I often do. And they were talking about Jesus. Only it was the weirdest conversation about Jesus I had ever heard before. They were saying things like, "We had Jesus at our party," and, "Jesus everywhere." So I kept listening trying to figure out what kind of whacko Christians these were. It wasn't until I overheard her say, "Yeah, we had them all ... Cheddar, Provalone, Swiss..." that I realized I was an idiot with a hearing problem.

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jellienuts

nice blog! excellent composition. perfect length. high hilarity level. it has it all.



anonymous

i totally agree – i busted out laughing!



Jesus

Behold the power of Cheeze



Justin

I had to ready the sorority bitch story twice to realized what the damn punch line was.



there is a god and hes in my pants

bless you for still rockin college station. someday I shall return.



gods left my pants and is currently taking a shit on my chest while his son watches

also, kudos for the cash mp3. I tried to get this song off kazaa and kept getting the NIN version, which doesn’t measure up.
grande



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