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It's been a while since I've addressed you, dear plebians. Rest assured I have missed you all. Like I said in my last post, Brandon came to town. I missed that kid. We hung out and watched TV even though he despises TV. We got drunk, we went out, good times, good times. He had to leave earlier than expected to go to a job interview at Central Market so hopefully he'll get that job.
That same night I watched Keith dunk his ring. He did it in 22 seconds. What a champ. And I thought I was a seasoned alcoholic, here this rookie showed be up by 43 seconds. Excelsior! We went to Northgate afterwards and Joseph met up with us. Keith ended up going home early so Joseph and I split off and sat and chatted over chuggers at Duddleys. Then we went to Antonio's, that new pizza place on Northgate. This guy wanted to cut in line for the bathroom because he had to go, and if he went before us, he would surely get laid by some girl who was waiting on him. So, being the kind hearted gentlemen we are, we told him he could cut in front of us if he could impress us through dance. Bless his little liver, he started cuttin' the rug in order to pee before us. Naturally I was saying things like, "No man, if you want to cut you've got to TURN IT ON!" and instead of doing anything different he just did the same moves faster. Classic.
We caught a serendiptious ride home from Christina Lee. Joseph proceeded to chug squeezy vodka screwdrivers like they were going out of style. He got so drunk that he threw up whilst sleeping on my couch giving me a delightful bright yellow stain and filling my apartment with the aroma of vomit and bile. He also opened the front door wide, for some unexplained reason, and let in 10,000 flies that we cannot get rid of. Thanks Joey, 'preciate that.
The next night it was time to see Todd dunk his ring, but I got tied up at the greenhouse in Navasota and couldn't make it. He did it in 75 seconds, which thrilled me because that means I was faster. Anywho, I did meet up with them all later because I haven't seen Todd in forever, Ryan and DAvid were in town, and Fucking Frank was going to drink for the first time in years. It was riotously fun. I got so completely shitcanned. When I woke up this morning I was still drunk. I was also a tad confused as to why I wasn't wearing my underwear anymore, but then I remembered that I'd gotten in the hot tub that night. It was so hot in there, it was ridiculous.
I keep telling myself I am going to spend a quiet weekend at home with a good book (perhaps Glamarama that I haven't touched in weeks) but the ring thing forced me to go out this weekend. Damn social obligations. Perhaps next I will take myself up on my delightful offer. Peace out, have nots!
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